The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Pride and Protests

Episode Date: July 5, 2022

DJ Lou tells the gang about his girlfriend's birthday weekend full of protests and pride. The guys discuss the new Who's The Boss reboot and remind us that not all the New Kids can still sing.Stream "...The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and dance odor You're thick as a party star But this song hurts people when you don't give the joke Summer now what is this for Selberg who seems wearing a sun dress now? What if I told you? They wished on a cursed monkey pod to write this song? Yeah probably everyone's dead. There's one survivor. Two people of LFO were dead. He's just smoking a cigarette with a cowboy hat on and he goes, I'm alone survivor. All the nuke in the block are still alive. Yeah, it's turned out Chinese food didn't make them sick
Starting point is 00:00:43 and that's what stopped them from dying. I brought this weekend again the new kids in the block Howard's term performance when Donnie Walberg can't sing. I'm wondering what these live shows are like. My friend Jamie wanted to wait to try comedy when we were younger. Sure. Long time friends since grade school. I saw her Facebook post today saying like so psyched to be going to it's new kids in the block tonight with post today, it's like so psyched to be going to, it's new kids in the block tonight with some other bullshit. I'm trying to remember what the other things are too. Is it not? Because I know they tried to do like a whole boy band tour where they all got together. It was like, oh my god. It's like when they put Dracula and Frankenstein in the Wolfman. There's never been that many shaved dicks in a building. Oh my god. The amount of old herpes scars under those leather pants
Starting point is 00:01:27 Dude those boys all still save their dick tops. Those are like Canadian roads dude. Bumpy a shit. Oh, they're bumpy, but they're still going Yeah, Jordan Knight doesn't even know what color is dick here. I bet I bet what I bet like some of them have had penal injuries and just know how to give You know what I mean if you're a boy band member. Oh there it is Yeah, salt and pepper Rick Astley and Envogue you know what I'm not mad at that. I'm a mad at that at all I'd go watch Dottie Walberg Can eat it Oh, I'm sure live he just sucks nuts Unless you guys are both absolutely wrong and he just bought bring there's that I've watched YouTube videos and him performing that song
Starting point is 00:02:05 It's not that he blow. It's just that's it. That's the whole thing man Just never gonna give you up the songs and that song sucks and he sings like a shit head I always think that he's you be 42. I'm always wrong really 40 just that same kind of music video plays in my mind for when I was a kid where they all white guys with the wrong voice Yeah, that kind of music that's my favorite genre as a white guy with wrong voice. There's a guy whose voice doesn't match his face Yeah, really I mean now it is more weird. Is that Teddy Pendergrass? Oh, no, it's a fucking soulish ginger freak your toss Clay Akin in there. What else we got? He looks like I'll say what you say. I'm good enough for me. He looks like he should be an announcer at like a best of the best fighting tournament. Oh, yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:02:49 He looks like he didn't ring announcer for local shit. But like death matches where he's like, and today they're gonna fight to the death. Your special guest announcer, your special special guest, guest announcer, Rick Rick Astley. He goes, I usually do gangbangs and deathfights Did he get did he can get fucking he could definitely get some slop top from that pig in the front with the tips on the stage She's awful looking Are you kidding me his strongest his strongest demo is two times the worst If these girls are about to have their clips explode from Newkits in the block. I think those ladies built the stage.
Starting point is 00:03:30 If you're a guy at that concert tonight, you better be like promises of a three-summer something. You can't go because you want to check out the NKOTB tour. You know what I do? Yo, did you see that how you just did? Yeah. Do you see this fucking dick hump? Yeah. And the place goes bananas?
Starting point is 00:03:47 What's happening? They call him the reverse hysterectomy. He puts ovaries back in you. Wow. What a horrible life. He looks like a preacher. He looks like a Jolos Dean type. He has no idea what to do.
Starting point is 00:04:02 He's just walking in a goddamn circle. Look at that girl. Is the girl I said he could fuck? Actually he couldn't. That girl looks like a Jolostein type. He has no idea what to do. He's just walking in a goddamn circle. Look at that girl. It's on him. The girl I said he could fuck, actually he couldn't. I'm telling you, it looks like a fucking Indian. They're cut out. They're looking like they built the stage
Starting point is 00:04:12 and then they just were given tickets to sit right there. Yeah. Who is this again? This is the guy from the internet videos, right? You know, has it real song? Yeah. Dude, that guy, looking at the guy in the under armor, he's like, what the fuck did I agree to this?
Starting point is 00:04:25 He's like, my dog is hailing Hitler, I think, in the back. So many of them are. Oh, I knew Rick Assie was all about that. Damn, dude, dancing is an old man. Oh, please, you put on the step by step. I want to hear Donnie Walberg hit it. I'm going to see if they're dubbing him over when they go live.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Oh, no, not step by step, the right stuff. And you're saying he was on stern, and they, buddy, he's so uncomfortable this video, while he's massacring, like, he can't sing. And he just kind of laughs and like smiles at Jenny McCarthy, like, ah, right. And right, I said I was a little groggy this morning. Like, it's, you gotta see it.
Starting point is 00:05:01 I've shown it on the show before, but it's been years. Do you remember seeing that black loo? If black loa isn't show for but it's been years. Do you remember seeing that Black Lou? If Black wasn't seeing it, it's been years and years. Credit to Howard, man, he captured some of the best horrible singing. I remember David Lee Roth did Panama on the show. I was mortified. Do you think Stern was like, do you think that's because Stern's like, you don't get any fucking extra help?
Starting point is 00:05:23 Like you're going gonna use my mics. We're gonna... No, I mean, it was a lie. It was like David Lee Roth was like at Howard's birthday outdoor birthday party. I can't remember it in like 1983 or something. And his voice was got off. Yeah. David Lee Roth lost his voice right around then.
Starting point is 00:05:41 Yeah, it was pretty bad. The rest of these guys can sing. He's 100% of problems Donnie Walver. his voice right around then. Yes, pretty bad. The rest of these guys can sing. He's 100% problem is Donnie Walver. Play it. You gotta get to the parts. You're like GANW. Oh, Jordan Knight, you still brings it at ball dick.
Starting point is 00:06:07 You think they all have ball dicks? I do. Everyone of them. They made laser decisions when they were younger. Don, they're at the, they're at the forefront of the technology. Donnie's the only one not wearing a jacket. Oh, yeah. Wait, here comes. Right here. Help me out. Can't do it. Help me out. Can't do it. Help me out. He doesn't even do his part of the job. That's the move, man. That's the move. He pulls it right away. You want to do a farming? Let me say catch any while he's doing that. Go to that stern one. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:06:41 I hate when singers will let the the audience do the entire verse. You go I bet I promise you just know what skip ahead to the next verse. I bet he does it the second verse again That's his whole concert is this going you guys know what it says guys you know all that I You guys also know that Johnny Walberg suffers from massive CTE and it's forgotten all the lyrics and all that you guys offers for massive CTE and it's forgotten all the lyrics and all that you guys you should do that we should both do that on stage at comedy shows but I can't you guys you guys you guys say it so then I said there were come on help me out huh give me a good out there one Christine it makes me we can't play it it's just it's a audience it's not him talking at all. It's a performance. We've played it on
Starting point is 00:07:28 the show before. Oh Papa how he's gonna be mad at you. It's Papa how he's gonna be so mad at us. Skip to the part after doing nice things. He's so great. Damn dude you have to know going into this when you're sitting down to do a live performance where you're like I'm not gonna be able to do this I'm fucked up. Yeah, he puts a sunglasses on starts doing this thing while Jordan is singing starts going Oh wow, wow, wow, no, yeah, it doesn't know what to do. It's one of the greatest things ever I don't remember watching this play it we've talked it we have it go back to when he puts the sunglasses on You see the move just about to torture it. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:08:11 Oh, do you think you could beat up Donnie Walbert go you can go from there. It's fine He's not gonna be involved man one of them Over here say again. Oh no my parts coming Yeah, oh you guys help me out this one Gonna need some help from the crowd little bit horse from last night robin Robin you go oh that at Robin take it Bob a boo you go But here's what's happening Jenny McCarthy's in studio. Oh, yeah, and he every time he whiffs the note that looks over her like
Starting point is 00:09:05 Right babe right? It is so it's unbelievable. Oh man play it yeah Put on my jazz voice face is good he's good. It's a You got to act like a musician right now Even though one of them at the very end looks like a W's W wrestler. This makes me so happy. He knows what's coming You see he doesn't like it on his face. And the rest of the guys are upset that he has to do it. Look, he's like, help. He says, help me. And you know why he's not happy yet? because he's got to do it one more time
Starting point is 00:09:53 Christine skip to that part when it really falls the shit that's when he starts giving Jenny McCarthy the old a Dude, right? You should just talk it out I'm like all that I need that's good right there spot For that live band here is and this is the biggest whiff Oh So the rest of the band is I always think visibly like Yeah, he's fucking guy whoever the Jack one is at the end says grabbing his chair You can see his forearm popping. Oh, yeah, he's like I'm the base. This guy is the nothing This guy break up rod and his brother looks hot and Calvin Klein's three twinkly toes. How is why not the rapper?
Starting point is 00:10:45 It's a one-go in the end like way older than the rest of you was older than them. Yeah Danny would yeah, he looks like I remember all their names because the girls I liked loved them. He looks like their bodyguard Was the one that I thought was the not good looking dude He's the muscle little jet oh Danny. Yeah, yeah, cuz he was a little too old for it's the same whole that's the whole idea Christine's right about that why young girls love him cuz they look soft They're soft like little boy. They're not intimidating at all. Yeah, they're not mad. They're not men yet. Yeah, if a fucking eight-year-old girl It's like I love Rob's off You like what she was I don't know some but that fucking lived life face, you know what I mean? I don't know I'm a nitty-gritty dirt band girl.
Starting point is 00:11:25 I like the gap band. Yeah, I'm gonna do some fucking fung soul. I want something I can listen to at a work site. I'm fucking 10 years old and I'm a girl. Oh, man, I wanted it. It was you, rap imp. I still love those Rachel Feinining stories about them tormenting her. Who?
Starting point is 00:11:46 Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Walberg, just tormenting Rachel fine-stining. Why? That's where? So she did. I swore she told it on this show. She didn't. We got to have her on.
Starting point is 00:11:57 Donnie Walberg, did it like bullie her? Really? Yeah, like Jenny McCarthy and Donnie Walberg, like bullie her. Really? Yeah, I don't know if that's public knowledge She told it in the writers room when we're writing up in Yoss and I
Starting point is 00:12:10 Were like this is so funny. They're so mean. It's you was like, yeah, it was crazy mean girl shit I take one thing back Donnie Walberg might have dick hair because he's is married to the most famous lovely bush in history Miss muff 98? Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a roller dex of that? Are you like, my favorite Muffs? Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Um, of course, Jenny McCarthy. Yes. Three. We've got to put two more up there, huh? Yeah. Oh, two of those women were the WrestleMania Shawn Michaels versus, uh, remember the famous Alyssa Milano on the beach. Big beaver out to bring him back.
Starting point is 00:12:54 Who's the boss? Do you see a text from Black Luke? Oh, yeah, that's going to be probably really fun. She's got great sense of humor now. Yeah, she's definitely been leading with it. Hey, Angela, uh, demand. There's down there withholding sex from a husband until you're crazy. How funny would it be?
Starting point is 00:13:10 Remember that beaver on the water. That made me so happy. Jay, how funny would it be if the reboot of Who's the Boss? Tony's like crazy mega right wing. And it's a little semolano. He's like, Samantha, I told you life begins at conception. Okay. Angelo's died a breast cancer because we're Christians. In scientists. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:29 Samantha, even in cases of rape. Yeah. And then it's just her being like, fuck you dad and fuck this whole system. We are remedies poppin' in, bitchin' about fuckin' science. Oh, yeah. That's yo' felt a shit.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Where's your owner? Moners just fuckin' getin' buccacchi to the fuckin' still living above the shit. Where's the owner? Monter's just fucking getting bucokeyed in the fucking stomach and still living above the garage. She's the old lady goes, let me kiss your pussy. That's mama. Let me kiss your pussy. Jesus let me, Jesus is like my pussy. Let me fuck her.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Angel or mohler's in the devil again. She's in honor to make a nurse again. Doo, mohito. Here, mohito. Hey, Samantha, I can't talk about this right now. I got an elk slodge tonight where I got to do a little. She's she's she's not a Jamaican nurse again Doo Malito Hey, Samantha I can't talk about this right now. I got an elk sludge tonight Or I'm gonna do a little something dance for me. I don't care if you're changing your pronouns. I'm telling it I got guns in the government will never get them You pregnant and under my house you will keep that child. I hit Angela
Starting point is 00:14:24 I hit Angela. I hit Angela. I had to put five across Angela's face. You want it next? Fear beauty queen? Alright, I mean, everyone knows fear is better than love. It lasts longer. You understand. You must have learned that that's why I was a single parent.
Starting point is 00:14:42 If they bring back who's the boss Dark as fuck with a laugh track I can put you money down because her big mouth Why do you think we had to get in the van in the middle of the night come up the cat? Infiltrate this family with big resumes. What the name Samantha now Nicole? Nicole de Mico they have like a real I'm gonna call them, gonna be a sad fucking episode Damn it. They don't give him calls you goes, you know that's sag health insurance could really help about now I heard there's some cocktails I can get. Oh, I remember how brave Jonathan was when he pulled his shirt up in court and showed his lesions to the jury There's quite Phil and Alfie. This is the dramatic see with Jonathan in court. It's Tony be in like go ahead Jonathan
Starting point is 00:15:58 Yeah, she's I don't want to Tony Jonathan Tony Jonathan. They'll take you where. Yeah. And the streets of Freerunner down for you. What are they going to explain about Danny Pintoro? They disowned him because he's gay. He goes, I told you that's an abomination.
Starting point is 00:16:15 No fruits in this house. Yeah. No voting season. Only men that bang Angler. That bang motor. Motor. You find out that Mona molested him did you make this real dark? Yeah, take his bring this back for who's the Johnson got fucking touched by Mona
Starting point is 00:16:30 Fuck and they don't talk to anymore. Oh my god. Don't talk to him anymore It's just Tony dance in a listen while living that house by themselves. Oh angel killed herself Oh, she found out oh She blames herself. The streets of Philadelphia, Mona's sucking on her leader upstairs while Angela's killing herself and Danny Pintaro has been sleeping. Tony finding Angela the shower and ruined everything. Everything was different when he saw her beaver that one time. They always left it in the opening credits for some odd reason my daughter won't talk to me because I Use the end work
Starting point is 00:17:14 Liberal use of racial slurs and streets of Oh man, I love the sad take on who's the boss. But they're gonna reboot it. Richard Spencer's the boss. I listen to a lot of right, alt-right podcast. And read some stuff online. Some pretty interesting points. Dude, what if they had Tony at the AIDS release?
Starting point is 00:17:41 A GAME Z. It's where I said it. It's a curse for God. No righteous man carries that virus. It's a plague of evil. This gives all his money to Joel Osteen, so they're broke. I read all of his books. I doubt you were at the insurrection.
Starting point is 00:18:03 He's like, what do you want me to say? The election was stolen. E.J. to Samantha, you have a rose the bone in the old wall office. I smoked a joint in the rotunda. Oh, Samantha, you can't prove that those machines were hampered with. Dude, I'll listen a lot over some very far-right Tony Danza, who would be fucking awesome.
Starting point is 00:18:26 To take my money, bump me up, who do you want? 1899 a month? He asked a person to find him 20,000 votes. Allegedly, a lot of people doing impressions now, Samantha. Samantha, deep fake is pretty good. Fake news. Everything I listen a lot of says in the show, he just. Fake news. Everything Alyssa Malato says in the show he just calls Fake news. Jonathan was straight dad, he got a gay through needles. Fake news. Only gay butt fucks.
Starting point is 00:18:54 I caught him in the boom car. With a boner from the Logan family. Dude, yeah they're gonna make it some corny fucking. Of course, and everything sucked, they're gonna make it some corny fucking of Quentin everything sucked into the wonder years came back. No, here's the thing about the wonder years Why didn't watch it? It was out of the gates too serious if there was a drama show But I they says it's a comedy and it starts off with black people being hosed down the streets and riots and shit And I'm like all right This is already a little heavier than the original
Starting point is 00:19:25 wonder years. We got it. We're just going to be like, oh, my hormones are out of control. This nerd girl's pretty. Yeah. Yeah. Not her like, we did the new Kevin Arnold. I was like, you know, it's black.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Yeah. Yeah. Well, things are pretty rough in 1916. My socks are on. Yeah. Kevin Arnold. The heaviest thing in the pirate with Kevin Arnold was when he's brother died and numb.
Starting point is 00:19:44 But that was it. And he's like, he didn't come back. And that was it. That was the heaviest thing in the pirate with Kevin Arnold was when he's brother died in NOM. But that was it and he's like he didn't come back. And that was it. That was the heaviest thing. And that was at the end to be like, see? The show has gravity. But the levity of trying to bring after that he goes, so that could be any Tuesday for us. But anyway, I'm trying to make my way in school and girls are pretty. Yeah, he goes, I like Winnie, but I don't know if my feelings are for friendship or for more.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Uh, it'd be great though. I didn't watch it, but it really been fun. He's had like all white girls just super digging them, and having awkward fucking dinners and family's houses. He's like, I can't, I can't, I can't even look at him. Hey, I told everybody we shouldn't put swastikas up on their house when they moved in, but I'm not having the goddamn kid to my house for dinner. Okay, there's gotta be a line drawn. I'm liberal. Okay, I'm the most liberal guy you'll know. I voted for Kennedy. And I'll tell you right now. I can't be. I voted for him. And I'll tell you this,
Starting point is 00:20:34 I just don't want him out with her daughter. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I will try not to sing out of he goes you guys you have to sleep in different rooms and then he goes, I didn't go to a matter. Yeah. Oh son of a, haha, laugh track. Did anybody watch the New Wonder Years? No. Anytime they try to read books. I haven't watched Black Wonder Years.
Starting point is 00:21:00 All the reboot suck. Well they're all wrong. Are they're ending the... Cop or Kai was the only one. Co-op or Kai rules. Is that even a reboot? This is a different path. Continuation. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:10 Lou, you tell me how you're, well, this made you watch that drama. What's that NBC show that you tortured you? This is us. You have to watch that. You know, Jay was almost on that show. Yeah. That's who.
Starting point is 00:21:24 As much time as the F fat girl's fucking boyfriend. No. Do you want to screen test them, dude? Oh, it's screen tests. He's screen test. You never know. I almost touched lips with her. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Who said that? It was that conversation. It was during this show, because when I went out for the screen test, I took a picture with the billboard we had. We had the billboard open. It was the first year we did the show. Yeah. I don't remember you mentioning that at all.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Jake and I've seen it. He was definitely, I mean, it was certainly nice. It was before the show was like him auditioning, you know, the show wasn't out yet or anything. So he was just like going out to an audition. Oh, I know what. And then they I'll tell this quick, because it's always so funny, but they, I mean,
Starting point is 00:22:00 to screen test, I didn't realize that was her. Like the actual girl on the phone. I thought it was just someone just doing like screen test with. And then I just remember being bummed completely that it was like, they go, do you think I would date this girl? And I was so bummed. And then they called me after the screen test, I got back to New York and they called me a few days later and they said they're going with a different direction.
Starting point is 00:22:22 But the reason they gave was I was too thin and handsome for the part. And I was like, hell yeah, I'll take that. And then like a year later, the show comes out successful. They order more episodes of season one. It's not even a season two. Yeah. It's the middle season one.
Starting point is 00:22:39 They order more episodes. And they said the producer liked me a lot. So the late great Dave Kimowitz called me when I was doing a show, Dr. Grins. Shout out, Grand Rapids, RIP Dr. Grins. I was doing Dr. Grins and Grand Rapids Michigan. I'm a restraining outside smoking cigarette and Dave goes, hey, they order more episodes, man. And the producer liked you a lot.
Starting point is 00:22:58 He wants you to come back and read for a different role and I go, oh yeah, it's probably the guy that she's gonna cheat on, the fact that I was gonna cheat on that fact I was gonna shield that guy with and he goes well Come on he goes actually now you're gonna be the husband of this super hot girl at her work Yeah, there it is. You know, no, I mean listen. I would think that's as ridiculous too. I'm not You know, I get Leah Remedy looks ridiculous and those early seasons a king of queens with with him. She's gorgeous. It's crazy. You know, King of Queens, the biggest one that you're like, oh, that was cast. Oh, the Marjack. The honeymoon. Go back to the honeymooners. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Do you know what I mean? Never made so that's always a joke. It's like, what? What? On, um, not Dr. Phil, what am I saying? I don't know. The father on uh, uh, uh, Freshments Uncle Phil. Uncle Phil. Dr. Phil, I can see those women attractive. I can't say they're not attractive without being racist, can I? They were not.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Thank you, Lou. I would have given it the second I'll have. Although as you get older, you also see fat with thin, fat man with thin wife is not that outlandish When it's like a big man to hold on to the big bear Also thin men with fat wives you what do you guys idiots open your eyes open your eyes man You're gonna get hurt feel around dude. You're in a dangerous zone. God damn. I heard black glue with just simple back cracks Yeah, by the way, we gotta bring that up.
Starting point is 00:24:25 No, we don't. Why do we gotta bring that up? J. Hurt is in pulley. Why are we saying he's not my employee? He's my friend. I heard my friend. Oh, it's now it's convenient when you think there might be a case on you. Well, I didn't know those are just weak back.
Starting point is 00:24:37 Christine takes it. DJ Luda, did he hurt you? Are you hurt? No, I didn't get touched. Have you been injured by J.O.C.? We don't get paid until we get money for you. I'm dance soda and a lot of people got hurt by some back crafts. Dude, this chick wishes. Damn. She lost weight though now. Yeah, sure. Chrissy Mutz. Yeah. Chrissy Mutz.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Isn't that a Chris the stuff in owner name? Yeah, Christine, you eat her pussy then. Whoa. You don't think that's great. You don't syndication. She does look much better. Still though. If you were that guy now, you know, that's great. You're just indication she does look much better. Still though, if you were that guy now, you'd be like, I have this part. If she looked like that at the beginning, I'd have been like, all right, all right. Sure. Jay driving a bus.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Yeah. Sure. Where did the guy do? What was the guy's job who played the husband, boyfriend? Do you remember Lou? When you had to sit there and watch it to a piece your wife family? It was so long ago, I don't remember. It was done like a ranch.
Starting point is 00:25:28 Was it like clockwork orange, and then to keep your eyes open as you watched it? Fat ranch J would probably settle. Yeah, for a big one, I wouldn't care as long as she cooked good I guess. Keep it warm. You know what I mean? You're gonna get them the positives.
Starting point is 00:25:41 You guys have some big kids. It's warm and wet in there, always. You guys have some kids that maybe go play D1. You know? Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure. Let's be a football dad. Yeah, I'll play slots while she fucking jazzy's around the fucking casino. It's pretty awesome.
Starting point is 00:25:54 You guys' meals would be epic. Oh, dude, she comes hard. She makes a loaf of toast at a time. She's probably gonna eat it all, but it's nice to know you don't want to run out to her. When you go over to eat, there she goes. Do you want any dipping toast? Can you go dipping toast? Yeah the scary things not having toast when you need it She goes hey, Jay we're down to six loves Hey Jay we're getting dangerously are you swinging by the store on the way home from work?
Starting point is 00:26:16 Can you get some dip ranch him? Can you get some dip in bread and some and some beaten butter? Do you know I need some cooking butter and some beaten butter. Yeah. Do you have to know, I need some cooking butter and some sucking butter. Excuse me? Sucking butter? Some taste butter. It's a sucking butter. What's summertime? Yeah, you know, I like a nice sucking butter.
Starting point is 00:26:34 You know, like the suck of butter in the summertime. I like this. My favorite. It starts to melt in the sun. Ooh, get landal legs. Melt's different. Give me a tub of, uh, the onion. The onion. Some landal legs the legs and a straw bendy straw if you could
Starting point is 00:26:48 Yeah, you'd have you'd have all that this is us money now you and Christine would be living in a palace in the sky I think the first all thing was for that first round if I got it was 25 grand a week damn Damn, yeah, damn. That's a lot of money. I'm sure by the time it was done that's what it all means. Remember when Milo Yakinapalappas died in the fire? Milo Yakinapalappas. He died in a fire, right? Yeah. Because of the crock pot.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Damn, it made a big thing. That was like the Hushot JR. It wasn't as big obviously, but there was a big deal. Oh, well, it was all of Milo Ven to Megalemuglia. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Milo Yamanapalappalus. Oh, he's the problematic guy.
Starting point is 00:27:44 He's the guy. He's theokator. I'm talking about Rocky son Yeah, don't go dying in the fight You ain't gonna die because of no crackpot. It's not about you getting knocked down. It's about hang on you may I'm gonna pay some crazy wrong one still a page or dead Technology I talked to your mom She lives in heaven. All right, my favorite line of the trailer was to get you how it worked It was so cheesy and it worked was the first time I was a no the trailer for when it came out of the Rocky, Balboa Yeah, the final was when he fought he fought. It was when Pauly, when he goes,
Starting point is 00:28:26 uh, still think there's something, uh, something, something down there still. And the bass, he's like, yeah, the basement, he goes, what basement? He goes, yeah. He's just stomach. Play the Rocky Balboa trailer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Cause that was a movie that there's no way I'd ever made sense. He was like a 65 year old man, fighting Antonio Tarra. Yeah, you could fight the current heavyweight champion. There's no way I'd ever made sense. He was like a 65-year-old man finding Antonio Tarrera. Yeah, you could fight the current Heavyweight Champion. A guy that just dropped in his prime Roy Jones Jr. Do you remember the reason? Because in a video game simulation of it, young Rocky beat this guy up. So everybody wants to see him as 65 year-old Rocky could be like, no one would be answering that.
Starting point is 00:29:02 What are you murdering this guy? He would get absolutely killed and the two towers like I Can I knock this old man out to prove that I'm better than he was as a 20 something year old? Yeah, not even adds up play it Because it does get your foot there This movie, but I remember him you watch him in your tower saying He can actually hit man. I was Making up. Oh, I bet he can he's strong mother fucker for sure I bet and then he's played that they just do like the greatest who was the best of all time old clips and then you know yes PN they do computer simulations yeah you know
Starting point is 00:29:38 they do their full 12 round computer simulation and you know and then the actual heavyweight champ has a party over to watch everyone Oh, look at me computer me winning hey I'm a virtual champion. Hey, what's my belt? I got a good I move out of the stupid apartment now Do you think that could do that does it think still my soul? Like do I exist in the virtual realm now back it up for steam you mr. J. I'm I just want to know if like he's taking my Be and now it's all ones and zeros like Nio in the matrix rock. What are you saying? I'm saying do I live in the TV now? I'm saying I get violent outbursts, and I think there's something wrong with my brain. I'm saying is that me or is it my me?
Starting point is 00:30:23 I'm saying I got a quantum leap at it. Oh Boy, oh Retardin oh no, how do I box you? Where it is one rock? I got a win of fight and everyone's body that's just like like leap to the next person. The story time says his full name. Rocky U. I don't think you did that. Rocky U. Rockington.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Rockington J. Balboa, you have gotten yourself in a five-month-again interview. Rockington, see it all about Balboa. It's actually bubble it's They made him change it when they got the other side You know, it's crazy. That's when we move Hey, I'm gonna explain this the man explain this better with my two baby turtles. Oh So this one is how it's at
Starting point is 00:31:22 My cray cray pop with bubble Horst bubble He's always had this is my cring cringy fuckin with double Moe hoist horse Bumble with Shmiel What's that horse? Yeah, HORS HD HORS Hey
Starting point is 00:31:37 I got an interesting to smell Bacchol is off this bickle So bickle airy go whatever I don't know Um Impressively we've gone like two months without talking about Rocky. But John, you get 4 AM, or V. You have the head, right? Eggs, yes. I'm going to knock these schvats in the next week.
Starting point is 00:31:55 I'll be schvatsin while I do it. I'm telling you right now. Remember when a power took me to a schvatsin A, but the workout that one time with the loud music and the whole thing? I'm telling you right now. I remember when a politician was going to be that Shvotsin neighborhood, the workout that one time with the loud music and the whole thing. The sh- the her bath, her public bath, after a period. Super worth of the oxy. You know we made the kid through a sheet.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah. You know, no other man's ever seen my wife's vagina as she wears a muck in there. That's what I was gonna say. She wears a wig. Here, let's, uh, we interrupted the trailer. We were right at the part. Yeah, go back a little.
Starting point is 00:32:44 No, she got it. She did. Christ were right at the part. Yeah, go back a little no she got it she did Christy, no, so Christine go backwards I think there's some stuff in the basement My face good here. Yeah, I think one like fight, you know, nothing big small stuff like locally What are you trying to prove pop? I thought you might want to get involved. Don't you think it to You know, oh, yeah, fuck you, you're busy shit't you think you to you know, oh yeah Fuck you you piece of shit. I say this to you all the time. We should have a daughter Maybe she would have been such a nitty. Yeah, maybe she could punch you punch like you know, I tell people you're my daughter
Starting point is 00:33:21 I say my daughter doesn't talk to me They're funny the way you don't come around, piece of shit. You're more an Adrian than me. You killed your mother, you know that, right? Dropped her can't say. He's one of those dads. Hey, come over. I better see you for Passover,
Starting point is 00:33:34 you're gonna kill your aunt. You're gonna kill your aunt each time. She made, she made a guilty face. You're gonna kill her. You love her, Mata. She's making her famous first cup, brisky, you know? Blessed, the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Gives a little more. I got, this commercial got me hyped. You in Saunders? Me too. We cov. Yeah, Friday. Yeah, when it came out, I saw this, and you have to be sure, play it, Christine.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Stop teasing. You already rockied Malboa, applied for a life. AJ Benza, third build. And you have to be sure play it Christine stop teasing AJ Benza third build That a lot of people curious yeah, but I People gonna think you're going crazy. What's crazy about standing toe-to-toe saying I am What you know that's philosophy that's brain damage dad. that's insane with your son ludicrous plot dude I Funny about this is I remember watching the movie being like God Rocky son is such a pussy Yeah, I watch it I go nice
Starting point is 00:34:34 Pussy no no no no he's a lawyer. I think he's got some Clearly no Adrian's dead this guy's got nothing going. He's so sick of going and telling it He tells the same stories Every night it goes that gave away all my money the only fans good They're there for me. I like to tip them. I feel good. Yeah, you got a couple of pros a couple around A couple of times above dad you lost the house because of your addiction to pornography Hey, no the only thing that's real birds you the only thing that feels good is when I take my rhino pills and pull them You know one of them spent the night once and she didn't even charge me. I let her waste some of your mom's old clothes This is sad as fuck
Starting point is 00:35:19 Game your mom's old clothes away Put on a put them out on the sidewalk. She someone took a shit in the box. She put on a perfume. They'd next to me. It felt nice. Anyways, I'm gonna fight this guy. It's good to me. Anyway, I'm fighting someone a couple years older than you. Did you know you originally write the movie
Starting point is 00:35:34 that he was gonna supposed to die in the ring? I think that was the whole point of Rocky Balboa. He was like, Sylvester's gonna die. In another exhibition. However, if he could go back, damn, that documentary didn't he say? Like if he can go back damn that documentary didn't he say like if he can go back He wouldn't have had Apollo Creed die. Yeah, he said he wouldn't have made him die Because again, that's what my favorite thing is like the stakes were like they couldn't have made that movie more
Starting point is 00:35:55 Professional wrestling if they try to go you murdered somebody in the ring a cold-blooded murder now You're not in trouble the only thing is we're gonna have to refight that. Right now we're gonna run it back. Run, now fight me now. Yeah, dude, yeah, we can't extradite you to the United States. I'm gonna have to extradite these fists. Over your face. Now, do you have a cabinet, a wheelbarrow, a couple of my friends I could throw around? I wanna reel earthy tone when I train to fight you.
Starting point is 00:36:22 He is, and also, no form of a place to find food it would seem. Can I bring my loudmouth alcoholic brother? Yeah. He's gonna complain about everything. That's the Jewish side. Hello. Family.
Starting point is 00:36:35 If we run a small pet store, Philadelphia. Yeah. To the bottom. I made this thing back, getting the feed one day. Rocky being Jewish, changes the whole franchise. Do you remember? I'm talking love it. Do you remember he goes,
Starting point is 00:36:48 hey, toss me down a prayer, Rabbi. He goes, I have it, I toss it down. Come up the stage, it's open. You know how dumb people in Philadelphia are? That if you remember the guy insulting him in Rocky I when he said he was taking Adrian out. He said take the retard from the pet store. And he goes, take a retard, retards love to do.
Starting point is 00:37:06 Are you talking Rocky? Ah, your date in a retarder girl. You should be like, oh, good for these two, fine with each other. Yeah. Oh, good. It's probably not illegal, then, if they find each other. This is actually like a heartwarming 60 minutes story.
Starting point is 00:37:16 Yeah. Yeah. This is love on the spectrum, dude. There's a Netflix show now. They be gazillionaires. Goddamn. That's so funny. I don't want to take a break yet, but I want to hear uninterrupted about lose whole wacky Netflix show that it be gazillionaires. Yeah. God damn, that's so funny.
Starting point is 00:37:26 I don't want to take a break yet, but I want to hear uninterrupted about lose whole wacky weekend. God damn it. It was a wacky one, I know it was. There was a lot to take in. Well, you know, he had Michelle's birthday, so they did the that partying, and they went out to a lot of dinners,
Starting point is 00:37:40 and then it was also the big gay pride parade on Sunday. The biggest of big gay pride. I mean New York City It's the Super Bowl, baby. Oh my god. It's just a suck fuck sash down six Avenue Good luck dude. You can just you can walk down and just find poppers on the street Absolutely, I'd say snort whenever's on the ground. It's drugs. Oh my god, dude if if you have Little to no body fat Cover yourself in glitter and then just go for it Go for it if you got a fucking weird marshmallow body like me. Yeah, stay at home. I
Starting point is 00:38:10 Was I was wasn't in town, but I was posted around the face down ass up float of the VFW of volunteer firefighters league 187 Jay you're they they wore your chaps in your honor nice Yeah, they got the delivery in time. No, Jay can't be here So we're flying as chaps above the parade shoot the hose Randall It would be that would be a great parade to go do drugs that pride. Yeah She's go do like I mean what kind of drugs like ecstasy Something like it would really it's like just be like, what if you're young? If you're young and fucked up,
Starting point is 00:38:47 that's gotta be a crazy parade to go. You wanna try something gay, Dan? Is that your saying? Yeah, dude, I've been trying to get you to do this for years. I've been fucking bearded. Dude? You wanna go mushrooms, hit down on the parr,
Starting point is 00:38:57 so your friend keeps telling you he's gay, because you wanna take mushrooms and she'll go down the pry, I bet it'll be so stupid. Do you wanna do, do you wanna just do pure MDMA, just be out, I'm gonna see what's going on in the brain. Dude, we'll be so stupid. Jordan do you want to do pure MDMA just be out. Go see what's going on.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Dude will dress like them. We'll put on little outfits. How about me? Dude, it'll be so dumb. It'd be so funny if we kissed on Instagram. Pungflick. Dude, sleep over. You know what would be fucking hilarious if you slept over
Starting point is 00:39:20 and the same bed naked with me? Fuck. Dude, people will never believe it'll be so funny. Justin's like, I, yes! Now you guys are getting in. Now let's start writing from that perspective. Now you can hear the song.
Starting point is 00:39:32 Eat your own, come. But you went to the parade. Yeah, Michelle wanted to go there for her birthday. For her birthday and also I had to go to the riot. I mean, the, uh, the protest, I had to go to the protest as well. All right. Did you have to hold a sign that said,
Starting point is 00:39:48 I will get a vasectomy? No, I will now lie in both cases. No, slow down. Slow down the thing. First of all, saying have to go to the riot is pretty funny. You were riding. Everybody else was protesting. You were fucking smashing windows taken TV.
Starting point is 00:39:59 He's got an empty trash can above him. He goes, guys, no one's watching this best buy. I'm on the pout of your system. My body, my choice, my body's got a big TV. He goes grab the other end. Let me show. Grab that end. Piece of shit.
Starting point is 00:40:18 We find out he goes, I had to make some threatening calls to some justices. Well, where did you eat? Where'd you go to? Let's start with the weekend of eating. What did you eat? Where'd you go to? Let's start with the weekend of eating. What was the fuel? What was your riot fuel?
Starting point is 00:40:30 Let's see. What gave you wings, dude? What kind of salmon tartar did you have before you busted open some windows? I had a nice pie, yeah. Cospacho got me in the mood Like six days of her birthday in a row damn. Well, she is ethnic. Yeah, so this was day six So I was pretty much I had enough by the time I got to the West Village and you were out of yellow pants to wear Yes, and out of mushroom to let you know set operations. Yeah, she had to she had to slime me up to get you in those leather pants
Starting point is 00:41:01 She gave you mushrooms every day. Just just struck you along to Hispanic ladies shit. Yeah, that's great. We did mushrooms that's out of the day before. Nice. Yeah, so it was kind of cool in the beginning. A lot of leotards, a lot of men, a lot of tits. Did you bring a flask and every time you saw like a hot guy, you know, a lot of tits of pride.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Yeah, naked tits. Yeah, naked tits. Yeah, girls love showing their Yeah, naked tits. Girls look showing their boobs. You came shit though, right? Painted, not painted. Big floppers, small little nubs, everything. Any bus?
Starting point is 00:41:31 Yeah, yes, from the back, I saw. What? I was really looking. What is that? Lose on a skateboard going under women. Oops, this is going under. Oops, dude, I keep dropping these quarters. Lose holding onto the bottom of cars like Cape Fear,
Starting point is 00:41:46 but on a skateboard, and he's let's himself go. I think he's roll of quarters in his pocket, he just keeps dropping a few of his goops. Then I can clumsy it again. It goes all along, Michelle. Michelle, we can't leave. I gotta find my mirror shoes. Ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:42:00 How'd you see her, push you from the back? She had nothing underneath her skirt, and it was pulled up way too high and she bent over on purpose. Oh! On a float? No! No! We sat in the park and just observed people and smoked a joint. Nice, that does sound actually pretty fun. Yeah, that'd be very fun.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Did anybody try to fuck you? No, nobody cared. I didn't really feel like I belonged there, but you know, we drank a white claw, I tried to... No, we're all gay on pride. Yeah. Uh, doi. I don't know. Did you get claw. I tried to now to wear all gay on pride. Yeah, do we? I don't know. Did you get the picture I sent of that one? Cosmonaut you glory horn You know guys. I have no idea what's on the other side of this watch Yo, they tell me the fun is you don't know who's over there put it in don't think oh it's wet and it's hot
Starting point is 00:42:41 It's got a beard There was a few dance parties though, and I got to say the confidence that these people had it was kind of fun to watch Like I wish I could dance. Yeah with that much confidence. It was pretty cool. Did you dance a little? No? Did you shake your booty dude? You're on much of a good give a little bit You brought that fat dump her over to the fucking bribery Dude, I think you're alive. Who should suffer the twerculator? It doesn't calculate. This is twerculateculate they go honey this boy brought his own float Excuse me, excuse me man some show goes how can I help you not you honey? Hey, Cinebon
Starting point is 00:43:13 Yeah, you should look at these we've been the bell of the ball, man. Look at these rolls Look at these hot cross buns Sorry fellas. Oh my God. You shouldn't have put a sign across your lower backs and free motor boats. Just sag your pants. Excuse me. Free brumski's on my boot.
Starting point is 00:43:33 You just go mats. Mine if I leave my drink on your dump. Go mats on my right. Who? Hey, how can we learn any pictures of the shelf? Yeah. It was all born. Oh, you should put your graduation picture up on this mantle. Hey, how can we learn any pictures of the shelf? Yeah Was that a ball on it?
Starting point is 00:43:45 Oh, you should put your graduation picture up on this man's arm Yeah, dude. Is this all you, Luke? Did you wear, uh, did you wear knee-high socks and roller blades the way you said you were going to? Dude, then skate around in a circle with Michelle holding hands So you went to pride first. No, he went to remember he ate dinner that he rioted. I was dinner. Oh, first you ride it before pride.
Starting point is 00:44:11 The day before probably right. Maybe two days before we ride it against. Ravi wait. Ravi wait for you. Bring over turns. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. I lose, you know, lose the cream pie king of piramus, New Jersey.
Starting point is 00:44:22 So you know, I got I got I got I'm taking it right to the front door. What are you guys trying to make me look like an asshole? Hey, yo, I like bust them up deep inside. And you're not gonna take away my right to fucking take this bitch to a clinic. You wanna pull it away? Next thing, what else are you taking away from me? You wanna much lose it around?
Starting point is 00:44:38 Okay, I ain't taking care of him. Yeah. I'm like, baby's kids. Cream pie king of piramus. There was like a million people there. It's like a million people there There's like a million people that we couldn't hear or see anything. I was waiting around for a OC I wanted to get a glimpse of those nothing gets done The Republicans are having quiet meetings about taking away your rights. Yeah, they take off their silk robes and their elk masks
Starting point is 00:44:58 Yes, and they worship underneath a skull of a forehorned deer Yes, it's human trafficking heavily involved in some of their practices? Probably. Probably. You guys are out in the lizard people dot dot dot. Would you get to see IOC? No, we couldn't see anything. Because she your ultimate Latin lady.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Yeah, that's my type. My bet. Dude, do you wear one of your Puerto Rican shirts for her? Yeah, she goes, excuse me, is there any dress? Is that from Papa Sanchez? Well, yes it is, AOC. Ah, someone knows. I don't have feeling you.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Someone knows they're outside of T-neck fashion. Somebody knows their local knockoff store feature. Papa Sanchez is perfect. Is that from Papa Sanchez? local knock-off store feature pop-up judges perfect except for pop-up besides me he's not sure from pop-up she moves the crowd
Starting point is 00:45:52 to get down excuse me we gotta take back our rights we gotta take back at the boy at the mess hat move you you in the shirt
Starting point is 00:46:03 you were smoking the mark roll hey hey you see yes me hey you see You you in the shirt Are you wearing a seven-marry three shirt under that pop-a-san chose trash? Oh you noticed Oh, you were thinking no, that's why I've been called the blue moon onion. I got layers He puts his head out of his Chomped I'm sure so what did you scream? I? Didn't scream anything I that was just I had to get out of there But I also had to get out of the gate pride fucking thing because it was just a swarm of people and the subways were closed For the new subway there's an- So there's only one way. Through.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Yes. Yes, but we had to go all the way. Through. 14th Street, which seems like five miles from fourth street. So we're trying to escape from Alcatraz with all these goofballs, you know, going through, you know, there's zany people. Come on. Sure.
Starting point is 00:47:03 They put in Dixing to those butts. That's pretty zany, I guess. I'm saying they're like they really put in Dixing shows but that's pretty zany I'm just saying all funny games is over because I was just like get me as the seven Hell yeah, you got to think about that the end of like a pride It's almost like a Halloween parade at the end of the Halloween parade where everyone shows up so excited and at the end Everyone's like I don't want to be stuck with all these people. Give me the fuck out of here. No, I I don't want to be stuck with all these people. Give me the fuck outta here. No, I'm here, Zee.
Starting point is 00:47:24 I think Nierzyv is the exact same. I think Pride Parade would be very fun people watching. And then I say, I'm talking about all hypocritical fashions of everything I do. I'm also like, like get outta here, you freaks and weirdos. It's been really fun dancing with you all though.
Starting point is 00:47:36 I've enjoyed it. But get the fuck, put your asses away, families and people walk around. You dumb asses. You start putting your shirt back together, you have mascara running, you go. Did I have a great time, Yanik?
Starting point is 00:47:45 Forget it. Yeah, fine. I never get to wear this banana hammock out. So yeah, I had a blast. But fucking let's get our shit together, okay? It was Christine enjoying herself, wearing a bomber helmet, spanking me. You got the m-right she was.
Starting point is 00:47:58 You got the m-right she was. Did she peg me in front of everyone at the bubblegum shrimp and timesquare? Okay, yeah, maybe we bdsm down a little bit For a live audience did I dom her in front of the stone wall? Yeah, sure did I shock her clit in front of a bunch of onlookers? Yeah, I did but we got to go on now and people want to come out to dinner I want to go get food. We look like fucking idiots right now. I kind think you didn't bring jeans but over that. I gotta take off this tiny letter cap
Starting point is 00:48:30 You guys I can't really think you guys are acting so hang on I can't believe the way you go. Oh, I was deep. I can't believe the way you guys are acting now before we get out of here Can you please stop on my testicles one more time? Did you get out of there though a boy shins rule a boy shins rule politics Drills scoop them out scoop them out That's not the champ that's not the champ One two three four put those pieces on the floor Hey, ladies not the brag but if basking Robbins had a punch
Starting point is 00:49:06 It's in a punch card like basking Robbins. I made a free one Let's let's take our first break We got cream green and damperlman coming in from flat blish mr. Meeners cream green cream green. It's curry Don't say cream green. I said cream. No, I know I said cream cream. That's the joke and then I turn the right on you You son of a bitch. I don't know flip flops. No, shifty son of a cream. That's the joke and then I turn the right on you you son of a bitch Shifty son of a bitch more gonna flip flops. It's the ball. By the way, this is the bonfire and serious Black Lou DJ gay DJ Lou. Hey, he's open dude. He doesn't have parameters on the ally dick face Yeah, the ally Lou. I'm afraid you are surprised you care about abortion that much. I just care about dancing I'm afraid, I'll gay you are, I surprise you care about abortion that much. I just care about dancing!
Starting point is 00:49:44 Yeah. How can you not dance to the song? Oh, you have to. Who put the cools out on my flow? I can so ho- Who put the cools out on my flow? We're gonna be right back. It's the mom bar.
Starting point is 00:49:59 In fact, it's a toxic to the song. It's really good, isn't it? I'm gonna have to do sex with him. It's really gonna get it in. You know after a parade, you can crash hard. And you need better help. Boy, can you. You got a lot to think about. What did I do last night?
Starting point is 00:50:15 Are you burned out? I was on mushroom. She mushroomed me up. From shaking me. Seppy loose. If you're feeling overwhelmed, unmotivated, cranky or tired, you can be suffering from burnouts. You've been listening to... SiriusXM's Bonfire!
Starting point is 00:50:33 New episodes, every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM! you

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