The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Rap For Me
Episode Date: May 13, 2022The guys reminisce about seeing A Tribe Called Quest at The Panorama Fest in New York City and go over some of the other comedians on P.Diddy's Bad Boyz of Comedy.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oake...rson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Ocroson and Dan Soder.
The Bond Fire, Faction Talk Series 6M 103, Big J. Ocroson, Dan Soder.
We got the home on the fucking team in the house, Black Lou.
Jacob and Todd Kristen Marie Evans, of course DJ Lou.
We cannot do our Black King, the Black Tiger, Lewis.
So, speaking of Tribe Called Quest, do you remember when after much or all we all went and saw a trap cult quest in
Nineteen shnails yeah you guys were all mushrooms and cried behind Isabella. That was a meat dog
I wasn't a mushroom you aren't no it was already in Lewis. Oh, I'm looking to fucking increment me dog
I thought you were I thought you cried. I didn't cry. You didn't cry. I cry other times dude
I mean Lewis had their face painted with that glitter. I'm not crying. You didn't cry? I cried other times, dude. I mean, Lewis had their face painted
with that glitter on their face.
They cried during her.
They cried during her.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, all right.
Listen, I'm gonna let you know when I cry.
I cry all the time.
No, I believe you would say,
you did, I thought for some reason I thought,
all I remember was Isabella was there
and she was at an age still for sure
where I wasn't like.
You guys had to hide it.
Dipping off to smoke pot or do anything with you guys.
So I think I didn't smoke pot.
I smoked a lot of pot.
That was one of the coolest moments.
I had those incognito joints that looked like cigarettes.
And I had a bunch of Colorado
and I filled up a camel lights pack.
I was super stoned.
I wasn't on mushrooms.
And I had the pack in the guy at security.
This is an R.E. pulled one of the coolest moves
I've ever seen.
The guys like, you can't come in with that open pack of cigarettes.
You got to throw those out.
I was like, I have to throw these out.
It was a pack full of joints from Colorado.
And I threw them in the trash can and the guy goes, thanks.
And I walked, Ari got checked and just walked by and grabbed the cigarettes
right out of the trash.
And I was like, that was awesome.
I watched the whole thing.
That's Ari being Ari.
I was like, God dammit, that was awesome.
So then we were just high as fuck.
But the reason I bring up the concert because 90 channels they cried and then we and then Ari and I walked back over the
Tribal bridge, which was weird sure he was on mushrooms and I was high of stone out of my mind
But tribe called quest
Chappelle was watching them we were watching tribe. We're all together then. I think we're all in the group
But we were I was doing a bit later. I think we're all in the group, but
I was doing a bit later with Ari while we were walking across the bridge because it was Chappelle and Amy Schumer was like trying to was hanging with Chappelle and she was like, you know,
up with there was Chappelle and I was like, man, we were doing our impression of Amy Schumer and
Chappelle watching tribe called Quest. Or she was like, oh my God, I love Fife Dog.
I miss him.
And he's like, well, everyone knows my favorite one is Q-Tip.
And she's like, oh, I love Q-Tip the most.
That's what I love the most.
Oh my God, midnight marauders was my favorite album.
Well, it actually gets bit on the other,
I don't know why like that album.
I was doing it the whole long.
It's the best one.
That's the best one. Just as long as Black lead exactly. Oh my God. Yes. Yes.
So brother number one. Just saying shit that doesn't make sense.
It's so funny. Isabella. That was an interesting concert.
It's also Isabella showed up. That was my first time seeing Isabella.
Try to be what I think her version of like a kid or an adult.
No, like an adult. adult is the first time she had
So she was wearing something as like a like a like a leotard short song, but she had like it was like a body suit
Or something she was wearing in her boobs were kind of like for the first time like nothing on with that
The first shit of the child you piece of shit
So that was the first time you as a father watched her out in the wild is like an adult. I hated it
So I was consumed with that. Yeah, make up the whole thing where I was just kind of like,
oh, it's being my little girl. You want her to be like holding your hand just being at
your waist length, I mean waist height and being like, dad, I don't know. And instead, she's
like, hey, dad, this is pretty cool. We're going to these are bands you grew up watching.
I'm taking her to see the DevTones. Awesome. On Sunday and I'm curious what she's gonna dress like for
that. I mean to go to the Sixers game she had like jewels under her eyes.
Which she was dressed like Iverson's mom.
Ah shit she was dressed like Iverson's mom.
She was all like blue and red hair and I just sit under the basket and I, I, I,
Jersey. It's a funny. I would talk about on air with her at some point. She might
have been here on Tuesday. I don't remember. Yeah. But she hit me up yesterday.
I just had the blue. It's a funny thing because you don't want to be negative.
And you want to be supportive and realistic and everything at the same time.
But my team, she's hit me with,
hey Dad, do you think I could be like in music?
And I'm like, like what?
She was like, like a rapper or a producer.
And I was like, I mean, production,
you could go to school and learn production
and you know, figured out like that.
And if you got a good ear for things like,
sure, or you could be a producer,
she was like, why not a rapper?
I'm like, you're gonna make me say it. I'm like I've never heard
you rap. I'm like yeah I don't know what because here's a thing maybe she's really good at
rap I don't like she says her friends tell her to which is like you know I'm sure you
don't have a real brain trust over there either but I mean you know what I'm saying like
maybe they see she has something that sounds so I don't know
But the last thing I want to do is ask her a rap foot rap for right
So if she was like that could you help me pay for like studio time or something like that?
I have to be like spit rap for this spit spit go. Okay, I
Do the soccer
I Okay, I hope she goes full fucking Eminem and just writes dissongs on you
Why just killing shit up cuz again my dad never said I could do this my point being is a supportive father
All I could say is I don't know. Maybe she's fantastic at it. We'll find out. I don't know if you might
It's also a bit of the way it was brought to me, it makes me feel like she was stoned.
And was like, yeah, you're the greatest fucking, yeah.
So I don't know if she was stoned,
but it seemed like a so out of nowhere thinking,
she's like, really?
You don't think I could be a rapper?
I don't know if you could be a rapper.
She oddly brought it up to me when she was,
her roommate told her, like, you could be,
I think she said you could be an artist or a rapper.
And I was like, why would she say rapper?
Isabel, I know, because she really, Isabel knows every word to every song.
It doesn't mean she can rap along with it.
But I asked her, is like, do you like write rap?
Is that something that you do?
And she kind of brushed it off.
But I'm like, she doesn't want to say writing.
Yeah, she's your lyrics, you know.
But then Washington's come through and blow us all away.
What's going to hurt?
What's going to hurt is that she writes a fucking a tasty one just to fortune me for leaving he left
He's sleeping over in his friends house like oh my god you put that in oh no wow she put that in
Yo daddy why you taking your TV with you?
It's called daddy's TV
It's the first song you like damn Isabella fucking when in deep
It's the first song. Damn, Isabelle, fuck it went in deep.
Isabelle fucked your shit up.
Daddy's TV.
She got in there, rearrange your guts, dude.
Oh shit, I can't wait to tell her that.
She deserves his daughter writing disc tracks on her.
I mean, honestly, he grew up.
I mean, she grew up.
Here's play Devils Advocate or not even Devils Advocate,
to play where she's coming from.
I bet in her mind, it wouldn't be a big deal to write a song about her dad
because that's what my family does.
When something happens, you just tell the public about it.
Yeah, absolutely.
She's grown up, but not in a bad way,
in a way in my gut.
That's totally her life.
She was like 15 years old, comfortable on serious XM.
Yeah.
I worked seven years at major radio stations
and I was scared shitless the first time I was like,
I was like, oh, here we go. Michael, fun's on these, they're on. Baseball's hit. And it's caught. She's ready to gossip.
Yeah, she gets on and she's like, whatever,
you guys are old and lame.
So maybe she's comfortable wrapping,
also I think wrapping now is way different
than what we have any concept of for kids.
Sure, because-
You're universal now.
Yeah, wrong about that.
It's mainstream, it's like a thing,
where you're growing up,
when you're growing up, you're growing up kids. Sure, because- You're universal now.
Yeah, that's not wrong about that.
It's mainstream, it's like a thing,
when you're growing up, especially where I grow up
a Colorado, if someone at my house
was like, I'm gonna be a rapper,
you're like, you're from Colorado.
Yeah.
Cause I don't sound like a sh** to f**k up.
You're from a suburb.
Yeah, sh** your mouth, Gill.
But now everyone's like, Jack Harlow's and stuff.
I think Jack Harlow probably
Wouldn't have been able to do it without not only M&M, but like the the logic and all the people that maybe
Logic is this is that logic? Can I have a hug?
Maybe as well
So I even tried to fucking jump on the grenade for you
So much I even tried to fucking jump on the grenade for you. Thank you. Can I have a hug please? Yes.
But I just don't think like because us saying it, you're like, we're gonna be a rapper.
No, of course that might be our old.
That's why let me tell you something. That's why I didn't hit her.
That's why I didn't hit her with that because I said before you're a good guy.
How the fuck do I know? I'm like, people just I by the way, also that said, I didn't
write a lick of comedy or thought of writing a joke
in my, until I was 19 and I said,
someone goes, you should try,
I was a fan of comedy, big fan,
and someone goes, you should try it.
And I was like, oh yeah, I'll try.
And I'm like, you know, a moderate success at it.
So it's like, you know, maybe,
maybe she can't, what me and Christine
then started daydreaming about was,
what if Isabella's fucking nice with it, dude.
My gosh, she's, wanna be funny if Big J's daughter
is a fucking sick rapper?
Dude, just, they want it to be great.
In the pantheon of Biggie and some of the lyricists,
they're like, dude, I don't know what it is.
She can just tell a story over a beat
and it just takes you there.
And you're like,
She's gonna have to picture, man.
She takes her words.
It's B from Queens?
Yeah, and I'm like, I'm like, Hey, Jay, I hate this.
It's like 10 years. I'm like, I hate to do this. But my nephew wants tickets to Isabella.
It's my cousin's son. He calls me his uncle. Do you think you could hook me up? And you're
like, yeah, dude, what's city? Oh, dude, Isabelle is car self is oh. Can I be a mom
and? But is those two close to lose? Oh, though, you know right no, that's good That's not you don't
Know
Should be whizzo should you be whizzo white Lizzo? I know yeah, I think that's more of like a seasonal thing like the mcrib
I just made it a permanent is about doesn't play the flu get her a violin have her fucking devil's down devil went down to Georgia
her just not dressing like Barney to god damn award show. No, I won't have it. No more, is those not an option anymore?
I mean, I think it would be even funnier
as if she is nice with it.
And then there's like a rap beef.
And then it's like, she's mixed up in some shit.
Yeah, like a real shit.
I mean, you got to get it.
You see it?
It's about why did you fucking come
with Ghostface killer like that?
Oh my God, dude, you got Lewis clipped.
So we shot Lewis outside of scanks looking for your dad
She's like he's alive though, right? So whatever whatever get a wound. I sent him a Rolex
Anyway, if you don't mind go drop a hot 16 in my home studio. Hey, I'm not gonna lie
Yeah, can you tell Isabella that this Rolex is is nice and
Thanks for those 32 bars responded
I can't believe she just went that her breath controls and saying it'd be great if Isabelle is just sick with it. I'm telling you the way
she wraps along and sings along the music. Shut up step mom. It's impressive.
On it for some of the momager over here. Step momager. For somebody to have like jays like
that too with lyrics. Yeah, they're musically, they recall.
She has.
I've jokingly called Jay Autistic,
but the truth is, his music recalls.
It's second to none.
I've never seen anybody that's able to do it.
Similarly to Joe List, how Joe List can recall dialogue
from stuff that makes hanging out with him, borderline obnoxious.
Where he's like, yeah, you know, pick the red one. I'm like, I don't know what that is.
And he's like, red one,
I can chime a town, this guy doesn't know anything.
I'm like, I don't know anything.
Why are you putting me on the spot like this, J.
I don't know me.
But you do it in the front.
There's a Y-L-O-B-I-Z-A-B-L-L-A-N-O-S
because we were driving down to the thing
and she wants to put on, she does.
I heard plenty on the way down to that game,
Gunna, and whoever. You get into all. I don't like it. I heard plenty on the way down to that game, Gunna, and whoever.
They get into all.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
However, also on that trip, she says,
can you put on a slip knot?
So it's like without, she didn't ever ask for that to be on
when she was young.
What I love is that she just,
said it, just happens.
Because I was always like,
man, I really was so funny how much I didn't,
I didn't influence Isabelle's music.
But she did all.
But I didn't, didn't know I did until like now,
she's like, if we're gonna play an adult.
If we're gonna play a full daydream,
it's funny to think of like,
if she had like a major billboard top 100 hit,
and the sample of the beat was corn,
and everyone's like, you grew up in Queens,
a Spanish girl, and corn was like,
my old my dad went on tour with him,
and I love them, and they're like,
like she's sample stuff that you were like,
I'm gonna play you, Rob Zombie.
And then no one's like,
because I've never understood why rap is-
I'm gonna make a rap at DevTone's concert,
I'm like, yo, throw something over this.
But I've never understood why rappers don't sample,
because the story that this all comes from is that
Infamous story where that record an R guy went to go to Warren G's house
And he just had like a room of dogs
He just had all these like random. He was like in Long Beach
I think and he went to a room and it was his turn tables and shit and on the turn tables Michael McDonald
And he's like you like Michael McDonald's like oh fucking love the Dooby Brothers. And I love Michael McDonald and that's regulators.
Is, I can't believe we're not, you know,
so it's like, I keep forgetting, we're not in love anymore.
And you're like, oh, he's sampled this thing
that he just grew up liking.
So I always think, I'm always impressed
that rappers never sample wrestling theme songs
or video games.
This is about gonna be wrapping over straight,
Lincoln, all new metal.
That's what I mean, dude, if it's a white DJ with a guy with fucking a flavor
say,
so it's just on her own, on her own.
She's like, she goes put on the white stripes,
like things and I'm like, that's pretty awesome though.
But that's gonna be the classic like alternative to us
is what probably like Yacht Rock is to our parents.
And she does know the lyrics to those songs too,
like singing along with the slipknot song.
And so I'm like, that's pretty cool,
but like she just picked it up. Now So maybe this kid can spit dude or she stinks and we're just gonna forget this dream
This is just that's why if she wasn't the show Tuesday everyone
You'll know now why I didn't ask her to rap on microphone. I would not do that. Yeah
Yeah, that's like that's that's what's funny about that.
Is every time I've done that,
it's just led to the biggest disappointment
where it just doesn't even get off the ground.
I'm gonna tell Zabel that I'm getting off the road
and I'm putting it all on her.
That's really funny.
I'm Billy Ray Cyrus in this shit.
You go, all right, Miley, you're out.
It goes, all right, Zabel,
out, the singles not moving so quick.
Need you to take a picture
of you drinking a beer and pissing outside.
You should piss outside.
She goes, excuse me, Dad. Yeah, yeah, look. I hate to Chris Jenner this whole thing. I'm
going to need you to get a little filth with it if you wouldn't move.
Yeah, I need you to bang a guy.
Now, Papa's going to take the pictures because I don't want to creep in here.
I've got, I've got a, browsers on the line.
On the line.
They're looking for a leak.
Because always when you're backstage and I know people tell you like, I dream bigger or whatever but what I never in my life whenever I've done that
It's whether it be a daydream about something I want to do or when you're with a girl and you're like
I don't know book the shit out of you all night
Then inevitably leads to me coming fast or I can't get it up or I'm like sweaty
You know what I mean? I'm gonna repeat all this back to you when we're backstage at MSG
I'm not there in the house down you. One more backstage at MSG.
It is a bell tearing the house down on a new rap career.
I would love it.
I hope I have the yellow.
I know it's the weed we just smoked, but I'm all in.
I hope I have a yellow shirt on
and I'm letting you guys back there.
Your event staff.
I hope I'm event staff and I go, you know what?
Egg on my face.
So you go right this way.
Son of a bitch, look at that.
This is the luxury elevator.
The worst angle on me.
I love that.
Bagel hoop films in this way where I, every time I watch them, I'm like, I can't watch this. I mean, the worst angle on me. I love that. Bageloub films in this way where I,
every time I watch them, I'm like,
I can't watch this.
I make a joke.
I make a joke every,
I make a joke then.
Every time I'm on the road,
so there's a photographer at a comedy club,
100% of the time.
They're like, no, no, no,
it's good for me to film from the complete profile
of you sitting down.
It's not that he goes, dude,
I know what you're worried about.
I'm like, yeah, I don't want to look fat. He goes I'm gonna make you look good
And then they bring me a bunch of pictures of me looking at a fucking a turd emoji
So that's why I saw it in the stories yesterday. I was like oh fuck this angle black glue. What are you doing to me?
It's just me getting some like there's in here. You can go up to it. Yeah, I shoot everything for the down
Just sit like this while you're filming just let of you looking at a video with the screen behind
you.
So that's where it looks good.
Well then I'll just look to this way when we're watching a video so I can look forward
and you can get the video behind.
Oh man, there was one shot of me one time looking.
Because you don't realize that in a video game when I go, I don't have a chin, a neck or
a jaw.
My mouth just comes out of some part of my neck that goes up to hair.
Well we've also, this whole show has been built on us just doing a radio show.
It's all audio.
So you know, they say we got faces for radio. But even when
they did the videos, it took me a long time with Cory and Lynn to realize when they were
filming because you're like, oh, you guys are filming because normally I just sit there
like this and watch a video. And then I want to make J laughs. So I'm like, I thought of
something. So it's like, I'm not, when you're on video, you're like, you have to like,
say, Hey, hard Cory, would you film two lesbians dyking it out in the library like this?
Yeah, and he goes, or would you take a high angle on them?
That's what, yes.
Don't even answer.
I already know the answer.
Yes, yes.
We're not up and in the pus.
Yes, we're over the pus.
So sure, me and Dan aren't two girls dyking hard off in a library, but we are trying to look
at least semi-attractive to our audience.
We're trying to look a little better. Wow. We're trying to look alive least semi attractive to our audience. We're trying to look a little better
Wow look alive. We come in pretty cash
Yeah, I think it'd be fucking awesome if Isabella blew up
I think it'd be awesome if any I think it'd be awesome if Hendrix played for the Cowboys
And I had to put on a stupid Cowboys hat to go watch
To watch black loose so my mom's son is Demir Bird, who's a player in the NFL.
He's kind of a journeyman.
Yeah.
It's very, very fast.
And for just two, three years of his childhood,
he would be at my house almost every day.
That's crazy.
Because his mom and my mom just worked
at the hospital together.
That's crazy.
That's so cool.
That's so good.
And then he just like, I only remember him as a child.
I would love, this is why he's like,
he's been on like the Patriots,
he's been on like the panthers.
When you said his name, I've heard his name.
I would love.
He doesn't return, kick return.
I would love, this is when I wish we had collars
because I'd love for people to call in
with someone they grew up with
that's just a professional athlete.
Cause I have McDaniel, that's the only thing I have.
It's big though, it's crazy.
It's crazy. It's crazy. There's not, now these aheadDaniel, that's the only thing I have. It's big though, that's crazy one too.
It's crazy.
There's not, now these ahead coach, it's even more nice.
No one cares.
Is that somebody in the organization?
No, it's like the guy.
No one gave a shit when I was living in Tucson
before I moved here.
He, that was his first year he worked for the Texans
and no one gave a shit.
I would tell people, I'd be like, that was the year I'm like,
I'm a little more dead into it now,
but that was the year where I was like,
dude, my friends at NFL coach and they're like, what does he do? And you're like, off
its called a control. I don't even know what that means. But he brings a sandwich. I thought
it was crazy because he was friends with Ron Dane. Two time Heisman winner was constant.
And who was a person who played against my school in high school? That's crazy. Is that
another, but Ron Dane was like, he was the guy everyone was afraid of.
Yeah, playing him.
I didn't play.
I quit during that.
Yeah.
Well, he was fucking.
I was like this.
I'm like, I don't like this guy yelling at me
with his tight ass dick hug and shorts.
In those huge calves.
All coaches have calves.
All coaches have calves.
But he, Ron, I thought that was always the coolest of like,
oh, he knows Ron Dane.
I play with him on NCAA college football. Yeah, that's awesome. Georgia right
Uh, Wisconsin was constant and then he so
What was crazy to me is that was the the craziest for me because he knew who their Texans were gonna draft with the number one pick
And it was gonna be between Vince Young, Matt liner, Reggie Bush. It was that year
And and he called Chad and, and we're just like,
in this shitty apartment in Tucson, and he's like,
you ever gonna take Mario Williams,
the DN from North Carolina State, and we were like,
who the fuck is that?
But you don't even-
You're a stupid ass.
Hey, I was like, you take Vince Young.
Shut up, turd.
Vince Young is the bitch.
Shut up, but Daniel, you're so fucking stupid.
Daniel, you fucking dorkess.
But then you don't think, yeah, you don't think 17 years later
he's a head coach at the Miami Dolphin.
No, it's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
No, it's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy.
It's not crazy. It's not crazy. It's not crazy. I'm that for somebody I grew up with. They never seem to reach out.
Yeah.
But I'm waiting for the day of someone's like, dude,
we went through so much school and I'll go,
I remember them, but I'm gonna play now.
I really don't remember them that well.
I would love to ask you, but it never happens.
I would love to ask an interview.
I've had one friend apologize for being shitty
in eighth grade.
I had one of the bad kids.
That's really funny.
One of the bad kids is like,
I've got $2,000. Also, dude, I'm in a pinch. I need a Toyota. I'm related. I had one of the bad kids. One of the bad kids is like, I've got $2,000.
Also dude, I'm in a pinch.
I need a Toyota.
I'm related.
I need a Toyota Ranger.
Can you just get me a two-seater?
No, that's pretty well.
Well, that's again, that's weird for you
because you had to be like,
you know, I was like,
Mom, can we stand on you'll stay over?
Like you guys were those kind of buddies.
My mom's still.
My mom's still over.
I had that more with Kevin.
Kevin, why can we stand on you?
Kevin's thing was we were in entertainment together
So it was like that was what the dream path was but as that age we were like I was like what a dream right?
That's a crazy thing as we're just doing these open mic nights here at the old comedy club and kev was already like is like
I'm gonna be an international huge star. You're a little bit mogul settle down bro
But like, uh,
I'm gonna be, I'm gonna say,
but that was like,
that's more like the McDaniel thing though.
And like, we were also just both broke though.
I remember like him needing the bar money
for me and vice versa, you know what I mean?
Yeah, but that's also a fun thing that we've both seen.
But that Damiar Bird kid,
which is funny, it was like,
it was just a circumstantial like the kid
and I was like,
hey, can you keep your eye on Damiar while we do?
It was like, sure. Hey Damiar. Hey Damiar. But that's what I'm saying. It's doing the kid. And I was like, hey, can you keep your eye on Demir while we do? I was like, sure.
Hey Demir.
Hey Demir.
But that's what I'm saying.
I'm saying it's to his own thing.
I never thought, I wouldn't recognize him
if I saw him in the street.
Sure, but you have those memories of him being a little kid,
being like, Jason, I'm gonna go outside
and you're like, okay, kid.
Sure.
Sure Demir.
Yeah.
Or then now they're like, hey buddy, good to see ya.
Bye.
Back for the New England Patriots at the 10 yard line.
That's gonna be the meter, you know,
Bird gonna take it out of the end zone.
You're like, holy shit, that's just,
I always love that because you don't realize,
I play basketball with Kobe Bryant.
That's the craziest one at the JCC.
That is the Y, the JCC, just Kobe Bryant.
Arguably the greatest basketball player of all time.
I didn't even know who is, that one is,
that kid says it's Jelly Bean Joe Bryant's kid.
I went, and he was like, from the Sixers, I'm like,
but he wasn't like a major player on the Sixers.
He was like, it wasn't said Barclay.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
So you were like, okay.
Cool.
And then he just dunked and everyone's fucking Yamaha's
flew off.
And was like, oh, we didn't even know if the rims could deal with that.
Oh, I think, excuse me, if you're up there,
can you clean the back hole?
Yeah.
Excuse me.
No, it was ever seen that.
Oh, my lord, what happened to you?
Are you part frog?
And they were doing like bounce between the legs,
backwards to the other guy going up and down him as glory.
It was pretty wild.
The first guy that dumped in my high school
when that started to be anything,
you're like, oh my god.
When you're in high school and kids dunk,
you're like, this fucking cool.
It was only like, we'll probably play together.
Like if I'd say a handful of five times, maybe.
He would come there a time, but it was just like,
after that first time when he was there,
like I didn't not know anymore who he,
you were like, oh man, who's the guy team.
I don't remember, we really enough,
but I can't remember. I can't remember, what weirdly enough, I can't remember.
I can't remember, I remember playing against him,
not covering him, but like,
because we had him put a much better person
than on him, which didn't help at all either.
But I remember playing against, I don't remember playing,
I wish I had a memory of like,
impassement throw or, yeah, or me throw the past to Kobe Bryant.
I don't, I have zero recollection,
because I never thought about him again
until he went into the draft,
and I lived in Jersey right now, I was like,
did you, did you follow him?
He used to fucking play, huh?
So did you follow him through high school,
or just not to go to the NBA, you reoccur all of us?
No, because then, yeah, well,
that I moved to South Jersey.
Yeah.
And lower high school basketball
really just honestly isn't that huge in full. I shouldn't say that. For the school, I moved to South Jersey. Yeah. And lower high school basketball really just honestly
isn't that huge and I shouldn't say that.
For the school that I went to a school
that had no teams.
It was just an inner city fucking school I lived in,
like just the neighborhood basically.
Yeah.
And so no, I didn't follow it all.
And he's had, remember, he had the glasses on his head,
said he was going to the NBA and then he took brandy
to the prom so they made news.
And everyone was talking about, I just remember calling my buddy Mark.
Asian Mark can be in like, yeah, remember that kid.
That's the fucking kid.
That thing he's like, yeah, I saw that it's crazy.
But it made sense, I guess, when it happened.
Sure.
But no, I didn't follow him after that at all because I had to speak to all the dead.
Cody Bryant was one of the best, not the best, that ever played.
Yeah.
Okay. That's your opinion, Jacob.
But he immediately stopped claiming Philadelphia.
Sir, claim parents are claiming Italy.
Italy, that's what it was.
He's like, what a dad played ball in Italy, he goes,
Oh the fuck are you?
From Lower Marion.
Lower Marion.
Yeah, you went to Lower Marion.
Fucking prick.
Yeah, I hate that.
Like the school you played good enough in
to go to the pros at a high school was in fucking Philadelphia. Yeah, where you, don't be a jerk played good enough in to go to the pros at a high school, was in fucking
fill it off.
Don't be a jerk off.
Where'd you go to high school?
And then that's why I thought it was weird.
And then when you see his genuinely, that's actually one of the sweetest things, especially
now that he's like passed like that.
Yeah.
On to him getting excited about the EG.
You ever see his reaction to the Eagles when in the Super Bowl?
No.
Oh, Christine, bring that out.
It's good audio on it too.
You really like, oh, he really did care.
But so why did you fucking always turn on the city?
Maybe it was it was Will Smith's thing at the time
and he thought he needed his own thing.
Did he get, why?
That was, why?
I don't think he was trying to do a sitcom.
Didn't he, didn't want to jump into Will Smith's shit?
Did he get booted?
Did he passing out?
Did he get, he's in a bad place physically?
Not Will.
Are you on the junk?
Oh boy, he's got a chest pains we're gonna get him a GI
The volume on this this is great
Holden's baby
Throw no ball hits Oh Throw
That's great. It's hold is baby
That's great hey, we're so excited
You're like we won the Super Bowl. Where are you your whole career? That's great. Hey, it was so exciting.
You're like, we won the Super Bowl.
Where are you, your whole career, man?
What's this wee shit, you?
Did you?
He said he would never play.
He said he wouldn't have played if he was drafted and filled it up.
He even, ever, he wouldn't play on the horse.
That's why the whole thing happened.
And he said he was like the first person that
was like, I won't play for this team.
They traded him to Lakers.
When he got, when he would come into town with the Lakers
against the Sixers, would he just get boot like
for you to reign in all Jesus
Italy Italy fuck yourself
also what a funny place filly with with the um the identity that it has is being like
very proud of itself because it's hardworking people the whole idea Philadelphia. It's historical. It's hard working people who don't take shit
They fucking love their they love their own they go to die for their own and then to be like no
I'm from Italy. It's so much. It's so funny to be like no no no no
It's funny. It's like being from Montgomery, Alabama and everyone's like you gonna play for the you are gonna play for them
Crimson tide and you're like, you're gonna play for them, you're gonna play for them, crimson tide and you're like,
I'm from France.
Yeah.
How the fuck are you?
You can't be more opposite.
No, no, you have to like,
I love Joel M.B. for the reason of,
when he did JJ Reddix podcast,
which is a great, JJ Reddix rules.
He describes the Philadelphia fan base
and man, he nails it.
And this isn't even what he said,
but it's the concept of Kyle Lowry's a good example. Kyle Lowry famously is fromFear fan base and man, he nails it. And this isn't even what he said,
but it's the concept of Kyle Lowry's a good example.
Kyle Lowry famously is from the Philo-Fear area.
They always say that.
He's from there.
Because he's from the Philo-Fear area
and God forbid through circumstances
is playing for a team that's not Philo-Fear,
he gets extra boot.
Jesus Christ.
But Kyle Lowry, if they show him on the screen at an Eagles game because he's in the audience watching Eagles because he's still an Eagles fan
They'll go nuts for him and so it's like and Joe and beat goes he goes you it is almost we said that Ben Simmons he goes
He really wind when guys who don't know him were like you fucking ruined our whole season and he's like
Instead of just being like, all right, dude, fuck off.
Which is how you're supposed to react to that.
He goes, okay, dude, sorry.
That's how they act on the move on on the Delco Riviera.
That's what I call Philadelphia.
Blackly, we can say something.
Yes, I was looking up because I wanted to know why Kobe and Philadelphia had such a beef.
Apparently, Philadelphia raped his grandmother.
Oh my God.
In the 2000 2001 NBA finals
Yeah, that he wanted to cut their hearts out and that's what turned a lot of Philly fans against him
I think that would actually get Philly support that but he did yeah, I want to cut your fucking heart out
Yeah, you can't say fucking rainbows
You're for fucking wayward Mary and fucking respect that does oddly sound like an Italian insult
Yeah, he's like I want cut your heart out and then I want to fuck your wife
That's a little that's a little cart before the horse. I think though
I think that was you said that because the city gave him so I mean they never he didn't have a game of love
Because he right away said he didn't want to play for Philadelphia when he was questioned about
Aren't you from Philadelphia's I'm from Italy. Yeah, it's crazy. I want to cut your heart out. She goes
going to get a drink first. Yeah, I don't know. I don't have KB that kind of for what kind of
term you own. Yeah, yeah, you cut my fucking heart out. Cut your fucking heart out. Yeah, my dad's
a sleep upstairs. Watching old jeopardies. There was an episode that was dude from Philly,
and he was just dealing in,
and fucking regular jeopardy's like,
but he didn't, what is the Arctication?
You're like, damn, he's got fucking,
it's an Arctic eye shell.
We fucking awesome, he's this fucking,
I got it dude, he's from Philly.
Philippine 162.
Yeah, what is an anagram?
What is Mount Fistini?
All the eyes all the I only know all the jeopardy answers from white men can't jump who is ice and how?
Yeah, what is a quince? She's warming up. She's getting in the zone. They better not fucking dirt redoing that movie with Jack Harlow
What am hell?
What you mean, Jim?
We looked it up already that they're making remake of it.
We've got it.
Again, it's another, it's flat liners, it's point break,
it's some producer idiot not realizing that like,
it's not the legacy of the story.
You're never gonna get what you want.
It's the casting.
It's the casting.
These are perfectly casted movies for what they were.
You never are gonna get what you hope when you bring,
let me tell you something.
As someone that convinced his dad's ex-best friend
to move in as a roommate,
which then led to him banging my mom
and then tormenting me for three years.
That was the reboot.
That was a Gary reboot.
It's a good tree boot Gary.
This guy's bald and he's got a mustache. Bring him in.
And then I was like, you're gonna get his track on. Well, did I
try to reboot my dad and it got fucking bad? Yeah, it turned on
you. So don't do a reboot. You don't know. Write a new story.
Just or or inspired by and then here's the thing. It's got to
be care. Listen, you couldn't afford the price.
That's what it is what everybody makes today in Hollywood.
Good luck finding a studio that's really willing to throw.
A cast like, what was that at the fucking, what was flatliners?
Like Julia Roberts, Keifers Sutherland, Kevin Bacon, Oliver Platt.
It's like people who all gone or some money and came in and did that movie.
Like a young guns? Yeah, and came in and did that movie. Do you know how?
Like a young guns? Yeah, that's what I mean. Like how could you get all the best actors today together?
It's very difficult. Yeah, they need to do like a salary cap in Hollywood.
Really?
You can't see no like he gets Brad Pitt. Well, that's just capital people want people want to really want to be in that movie.
Same with the Cohen brothers and same with who's the goofy one that I was used to
so on Wilson, not Paul Thomas Anderson.
Oh, Wes Anderson.
Wes Anderson, that's like that.
They're like, oh, do you want to be in the new Wes Anderson?
And if someone offers you that, you're like, yeah, okay, I'll take Sag minimum.
I'd be happy to be in the next Rob Zombie.
That'd be pretty cool.
Rob Zombie.
It's the monster.
It's what he's doing now though.
That'd be funny.
If you're an enraged neighbor
Or if you just this guy's be someone who doesn't who gets confused by
Lurch no lurch is Adam's family, right? Yeah, that's Adam's family. Oh, yeah monsters is
Herman monster lily. Yeah, the bat boy
This song when I was a little werewolf boy or a little werewolf Eddie Eddie the werewolf for the widow's peak
Yeah, the hand is Adam's family isn't he the butch
Something but Patrick butch Patrick that guy did
That guy would sign Eddie monster headshots until is he alive still because I mean his fingers must have calluses
He goes to everything where they'll sign stuff
I don't think he's anything else besides B.
Butch Patrick's at conventions.
Can you look up the IMDB of the Rob Zombie Film?
Who's playing Grandpa Monster in the fucking Rob?
Is he gonna make it scarier?
He's doing his thing.
I don't know.
I think he's gonna make it like a fun thing.
But he's using his go-to's in everything.
So you might not recognize a bunch of them,
but it's easy to be cool.
I didn't know if they didn't get like a face.
Like his chick is Lily, and,
but I mean, maybe it'll be good.
He, I mean, I've enjoyed some of them.
A lot of them have been misses.
Every one of them has something fun in it,
but like there's some pretty bad ones.
I wanna act again.
Oh yeah, Sherry Moon's on me.
Yeah, we'll go down to the actual like...
Okay, there you go.
Lily, Dee Wallace who hates us.
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
She was the one from the hate skanks.
Yeah, he's you turn a couple things.
I think she was naked in the last one.
Richard break was in his last one.
Grandpa Munster's Daniel Robuck. she was naked in the last one. Richard break was in his last one.
Grandpa Munster's Daniel Robuck.
Yeah, so it's another person who uses all the time. Jeff Daniel Phil.
You know, it really hurts me. Jorge Garcia is playing a character named Flup.
And here's what I'm upset about that. That's the guy from loss to everybody.
He always said, I looked like.
Oh, yeah. Damn, man.
Hurley. That hurts my feelings so much that he got it
He also used you remember this day. I think I've told you this before in two of his movies now
He's used comedian red bone red bone is a black's a white guy who does black circuit comedy with a real heavy
Southern accent and he like twerks and everything. It's real
It's
Platinum wigger.
Yeah, when you find out when you test a
sweetheart.
When you find when that happens when
something you love like that and
someone comes into the orbit it's
like when I find out that that guy
was definitely you know who Rob Zombie
was or going into this but like when
you find out like whenever Dean
Del Reg gets to open for Queens of
the Stone Age I'm always like oh
me motherfucker. Yeah, is this Redbone? Yeah.
Bad boys of comedy, we can watch it cuz we're with an alum. Oh
My god
That's him shforkin
What's up in this motherfucker? Dude, that's so funny that he is
It's a cracker up in this motherfucker.
It's crazy that he has the same eyes as Ralphie from Christmas story.
And that he comes out and does...
He's so sweet.
He's such a sweet guy, right, Bob?
Yeah.
While I would be the bad boys comedy-gathering
some of the black circuit shows.
When you guys do bad boys a comedy together,
do you have a wiggler sniff off?
LAUGHTER
And you wear a cool watercolour?
You know what?
Absolutely for sure.
You see the other white guys there, be like,
okay, because you know for sure you're gonna have
like who's going up first early enough
to make the acknowledgements of like,
I know what's going on here.
Oh, they put out a white one.
This dad must own the place, right?
Oh shit.
Yeah, it is. So you do gotta keep your eye on, goes, They put out a white all this dad must own the place right?
Yeah, so you you do got to keep your eye I go, oh no, he's gonna use all the white guy black
Shit, I've used and I think I've I've told this story before when I was doing talent show at laugh factory and time square
And skim milk was on it and I went like three after and I just buried him the second I got up there
I was like, oh yeah, I mean, I'm I mean, I'm up here to save the white guy card
and they're like, bye!
You know?
Oh, he's giving up a rough one.
Yeah, and then you turn right on him
because we're just fucking constant.
I never came across skim milk.
You is such another super sweet.
Sweet or sweet.
He used to work at the seller as a one of the sellers.
He just had a tough set and I went up after him
and I was like well
I got it I got to get a win now for the whites and everyone's like
I
He gave me a thank you as I stabbed him in the back like it's all me movie
You do a game out of here when he gave me his card and it's spelled SK I
MMM I LK
Yeah, and I was said you should put underneath it to third M's for retarded
Yeah, so when you got so when you saw red bomb was he like
What's up, and you like I don't know if I've seen it or something you maybe it did seem since but no
He's a he's actually a very if you give a shit about the movie devil's rejects one of the most memorable scenes it's
He's trying to sell a check and you saw the movie before right now. You never saw it before
I've never seen a rock movie devil's rejects is really dead house of a thousand corpses in devil's rejects are the ones to see
House for sure house of course is for campy
It's not campy. That's the wrong word for it's super dark. It's a but it's like a music video
He didn't know how to direct a movie necessarily, But it devils rejects is the one to see yeah
But one leads into the other so also not even they abandoned storylines and everything but it's the same family
Hmm, so you should watch one with the other. It's fun. It's a fun movie
I'll do a double feature and then I you get honestly at that point
I hate to say check out on Rob Zombie movies
Halloween was solid.
Lord's assailant was, I mean, I was angry
when I walked out of the theater.
Damn, I should have loved it.
It was like somebody, it was like,
hey, try to make a David Lynch movie or something now.
It was just bad, man.
Yeah, that always sucks when someone you really loves,
either whether a musician or filmmaker or something
comes out with something and you're pumped about it and then it stinks. You're like, oh, yeah
That was rejects was one of the maybe the first movie in New York that I ever I went and saw by myself. Yeah, no one else cared
It's like what is this thing's been supposed to come out forever. I mean they're like cool. Yeah, they're great
Yeah, I think it was an oversold thief to I think I sat on the stairs
like in the middle of it.
It was pretty weird, yeah, somewhere in Times Square, I think.
Damn, but let's watch that one.
I wanted to see it.
It's more red bone.
Like a little red bone, a little piece of red bone.
Guy took your work.
Hey y'all better show me some motherfucking look
because you know what white folks do when they give me.
They blow shit up.
God damn dude.
And now blow this motherfucker! All this to be on the news tonight. Oh y'all be dead. I'll be the only motherfucker outside. Shit up. God damn you. And I'm blown this motherfucker!
All this to be on the news tonight.
All y'all be dead.
I'll be the only motherfucker outside.
Checkable loves it.
It's good.
You know why people crazy?
It's shit.
I'm scared of white people.
Why you used to be scared of white people?
You all know who I'm scared of now.
I flew the plane down here.
I was sitting next to the outbuck like dude.
So funny.
They would not even let you do these children.
Oh no, he's a fucking fucking fool.
You could fucking bury Middle Eastern people on stage
in 2000, like, what?
I started no four.
I started no four and it was still happening.
Absolutely.
He's back all year.
No, he's a baby motherfucker.
Yeah, that's cool.
Oh, everyone just blows that up.
I tried to pretend like I wasn't the only
Eastern. I said our minion was Eastern
European and got yelled at by an
aunt on Facebook. She was like,
you're very much Middle Eastern.
You are Middle Eastern.
Get out there and dance about those
towers falling. Now,
clean your finger symbols.
Get your ass out here.
Get down, shake your hips and
clean your fingers too.
There was there was a red bone,
AG white dude and these guys
No, no, keep going, but I'm just saying I just want to play out the fuck off
Metal easing is shit looking up here like this
Here's the going on this point. I'm trying to do my super and high Middle Eastern winger the bad boys and comedy set
I'm on the plane like this,
this guy will be here with the box cutter like this.
Oh, I'm like this.
I'm all like, hmm.
But here's the thing.
Also, what I was competing with,
not competing with,
but the other white guys in the show
were guys who were locked in black circuit like comedy.
So they were like working and making money. black circuit like comedy.
So they were like working and making money. Black circuit, like good money.
So they were like, they leaned into more of like the act.
They were like, this is, you know, it's like,
this is gonna kill, like they could know
how to murder in a black room.
Yeah.
I had that.
There was a time when I would go to,
but they put me on like fucking hours hours into the show on BT's
Comic-Few and I was still like go on throw me up there
Because I'm gonna go out there and do my white guy black room shit
Uh-oh
And do whatever and take my clothes off or any fucking thing wasn't I go prepare for domination
By the time I did bad boys at comedy I was working in the city a little bit there
So I'd already been teased out of my
bravado pieces that I would do to kill
in a black row.
Yeah, jokes now.
Yeah, and so it was funny when they just threw a Sean John shirt on me and sent me out
there and I could think you could already tell me. I mean, I do the, I say the words
and shit after every sentence in that set because I'm just trying to latch on the being
like you're trying to get back into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah the being like you're trying to get back into it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, when really in reality we all knew a nose ring was coming. It's no shit
We knew those fingerless gloves were on the way, but what's funny was now is feel the power
What's funny now is like I'd love to do man bad boys a comedy knowing what I know now
I could love to do it. Yeah, you a crush on that. I'd love to do it. Yeah, Def Jam came back or something.
You know what I would definitely try to do, Def Jam.
It's like the way I think about it,
if I could play football in high school again.
Yeah, yeah, I'm like, I sucked then.
I think now give me like a couple of months,
I'd be hurtin' I don't know how to take it
through a whole season, but I'd definitely be smarter.
I'd be making smarter plays.
Yeah, I'm just one of your reading stuff.
The age of some saying I would have such a more meaningfully good set.
I think about that a lot with like live a Gotham.
I think about that a lot with my,
commissential half hour with my first hour.
Everything before HBO.
I'm like, let me get a shot at that again.
Yeah.
I'm like, I can, I can do better now.
I can do way better now. But that's what your next special always is yeah, no shot at it. Yeah, just be grateful
That you're not the type of comic that's doing the same jokes you did on your live at Gotham
Damn Christine call out who you're talking about say names
Fucking the heat is on
Some of that Joe list. I was gonna make it somebody Joe list
He was possibly on the show this week and this week. Oh, wow
Go watch Joe list this year's material. It's great. It's his new YouTube special so fucking funny
I watched it up in
Canada who's fucking awesome great new hour on YouTube. I hate to catch you in a lie
But it's not available on YouTube in Canada.
100% is, because I watch you now.
I know.
100% is.
I know.
Well, I didn't know.
There's a lot of specials available in Canada.
Is there now?
Oh, yeah.
Did you watch other ones?
Yeah, did you watch other ones?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We both, everyone knows what we're talking about.
They don't.
I hope they don't maybe they do
You want a little more red bone you want to taste it give me more red bone. Can't get enough of the bone bone me
Anti-meda-leaster and wicker comedy because they're just it's just clear what it is. They're just trying to
I had asked my the fuck
Trying to fall asleep next to me. I said ain't no way
I'm gonna try to miss to a piece of black audience by burying Middle Eastern
Really brought people together to be racist against muslims my god
I really do like all these motherfuckers with these smelly ass hair
Black people like take your hair in white my ass with that toilet paper black people were there cuz like he's off us fine
Fuck yeah Russian is so white. This is like ooo a different color. Yeah, I want you go fuck a tiger life apart
I actually am from Pakistan and I believe everything you're saying to me is you never been to the
braw I am from sir nam and our language is Dutch I do not know how you would say this
to me. I mean I do not believe I believe in the vision of the destroyer I do not believe in the vision of the destroyer.
I do not believe in the...
He's more boundy.
I tell you, I really could watch a lot of this.
It's so specific, because you know what they're trying to do.
Try to go back a little bit.
No, shut her up.
That's motherfucker!
Blowin' shit up,owing shit up and shit.
And shit.
He got shit.
Blossom right here.
I'm telling you man, it's crazy out this motherfucker.
You know what, I got to say something.
Shit's on my motherfucker man.
It's tried to Bernie white people
America black people have something in this motherfucker damn
What a what a panda bear this guy's
Let me tell you something else slavery should have never happened
Let me tell you something else slavery should have never happened
Had done it been my way stealing kings from the kingdom
All right, well we're here
Why people we nuts
Blow and shit I think you just heard person because why people y'all crazy?
You're the widest yeah, y'all crazy? You're the whitest. Yeah.
You're the whitest.
Y'all actin' nuts.
Eatin' green vegetables and shit.
With your joggin' and shit.
That is smelliest cat motherfucker come over.
He's just talking about his life specifically.
You ain't patty.
Ask him, you why you talking like that? Yeah.
Tell me to talk why that my barbecue is my barbecue.
And no, we don't have no salmon.
What is talk white means?
Red bone, red bone.
You know what, come on.
You know what we mean?
Hey, red bone, hey guy, hey, cut the shit.
Maybe I ain't know what you, no, that's what I'm saying right there.
Yeah, you definitely did that all purpose.
I've looked here, you actually have a minor in
linguistics it's impossible you're you're butchering the language and I know for
a fact you're trained in it so what redbone please I'm trying to heal. No, you know We some nosy motherfuckers ain't I mean yes
Panda bear
You know how we ate shit
Did I heard one of my friends said that and I saw someone write panda bear online and I'm like do that might be my favorite thing
I've ever heard
I will not take credit for that that is exists already. It's fantastic I just said it cuz I've heard it, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, I'm a great, Ray LaPouse, I don't even say it's just they, to some degree,
I guess you have to believe a white guy when they live it.
You know what I mean?
And talking all the time, but there's always something
that they've made a choice.
It's Donnie Brasco.
On behavior.
I just feel like it's Donnie Brasco.
The dude on love after lockup right now,
I mean, he's definitely like a white Italian guy or something.
And he's, everything's like just talking through the lower tee. Like if it's all cool, shorty, I mean, he's definitely like a white Italian guy or something and he's
everything's like just talking through the lower teeth. Like if it's all cool, shorty, I'll
pull up and do the thing. Like dude, your dad probably shakes his head every time you speak.
Just like, it's not Christ. Here he goes. He's there and I would be interested in
his. It does it go. Opposite way is like black. Loot. Do you see that with black people
when you see a black guy like speak like, Hey what's up guys are they like motherfucker come on then it you
absolutely you feel that immediately yeah especially if I'm hanging out with my white friends
there will be other black guys that try to out-white me really you better know white off
they go I love parsley I love parsley that's of them is really good. But really?
Absolutely.
Especially if there's girls around.
Really?
Like we all like white girls.
Yeah.
Only two black dudes in the room.
Yeah, you like a little peach princess?
Nothing wrong with that.
I'm Carlton.
Yeah.
Usually Carlton Banks.
Yeah.
And he tries that out.
Why me?
It's more like a lot of black surfer guys.
Like, shoreheads.
Yeah.
Got black guys, like those, like, those shoreheads.
You guys are going deeper into the catalog of a white
third eye blind.
Yeah.
Yes you a jump back from that.
It's pretty crazy.
Dude dude dude dude dude dude dude.
Oh, you wait.
I was trying to think of the most the most random third eye
blind song I know is you never let me go on.
I was just saying I never let you go.
Dude dude dude dude dude dude. And she goes, oh my god, that was an older album. Let me go on a date. I never let you go. Do do do do do do do do.
And she goes, oh my God, that was an older album.
He's a bright bro.
Anyways, Lou, wanna grab us some sodas?
And they keep doing this with hair they don't have.
Yeah.
That's fucking wild.
And then I'll bring out things like, you know,
one of my favorite episodes was of the OC.
Oh my God.
Or salt cardashi.
Yeah, look at all these things.
You're already trick Christine. You already got Yeah, look at all these girls. Is this
pick your girl because I would oftentimes think if you're looking for a white, it's a specific
kind of white girl because is it? That's what I'm asking because I would think if you're
like down the shore trying to hook up with chicks, the quote unquote, black are you acted
would score the white chicks because they're ready to fucking let loose on the, you
know, a shore weekend, catch some of that big fat D. You know
what I mean? Yeah, not the ones that we like. He's like, I'm
thinking you're preppy. Preppy. That's what I was just going to
say. Preppy girls that are like, um, I don't know. I don't
really care about that. And like, I like that. Girls with sports
awards and shit, maybe some scholarships.
No, girls with the girls with rock,
rocksy stickers on their jettas.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh, gotcha.
I knew that.
Yeah, rocksy stickers on their jettas,
and they wear like pink sweatpants and shit.
Yeah.
You're from Phil.
He's like, you got it.
Yeah.
You're from Philly where like,
uh, the white girls that lack black eyes, like black eyes.
Yeah. And they, and they dressed like, the white girls that lack black eyes, like black eyes. Yeah, and they dressed like,
the white girls like black eyes would dress
sexy Puerto Rican because that's the closest
you can get to ethnic.
And those white girls also like white guys who act black.
Those are the white girls that like,
they will also do that.
They will also do that, yeah.
I'll tell you right now,
those are the white girls that had no time for me.
They're just like, who are you? And I'm like, hey, did you see that they're releasing summer slam 93 on VHS?
And they're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? My buddy Glenn. Yeah, I would consistently get black shit.
I got that's what I'm saying the white girl. I know but Glenn didn't really act black and all he acted boy bandy I'm telling you right now
the the white girls that like black eyes had no time for me black girls loved me because they were like
I was goofy idiot he seems like he means well, you know, and I'd be like oh do you want to like hang out and like yeah come here and
I'm like okay
I think it was because honestly it was
Okay. Yeah.
I think it was because honestly, it was like from the vibe
that I caught, it's just kind of like that.
I was like, this is what I like.
And this is what I'm kind of into.
Oh, I asked out, or you know, at least gave hint
to whatever, like in still passing notes, age of school,
Sure.
To several black girls, and it would never seem like it was even bad at around.
They just shut it right down pretty quick. Yeah.
Yeah. And so I was like, oh, and then, you know, you never want to fuck the one person
who seems what they would like you. You want to fuck everybody else?
Dude, that's when I go back and I think about that, the first girl that like really, I probably
could have had like a young love relationship with this girl, she liked me and I was like no I like I like
another girl what are you doing you're crazy and then I go back and I'm like what
are you doing you know she's singing love songs about you to herself at night
yeah I wasn't even saying I wasn't even saying there was a pretty girl waiting
the wings for me I'm saying I could have just if I was smarter I would just
knuzzled up to a pig and just that's what I mean fuck no you dropped down a
weight class bang that yeah
Bang the girl who also was insecure. No, that's probably could have had a decent time in high school
That's exactly what I mean. Yeah, the girl that like me wasn't like she wasn't like a hot girl that I was like
No, it was just like a girl was like she's my buddy
Yeah, I would never do that and then later in life she was like you know I had a massive crush on you know
I was like we're buds you rock where I was awkward and she's like yeah, you know, I had a massive crush on you and I was like, we were buds, you rock, we're not, I was awkward and she's like, yeah.
But I would have sucked you off of you.
Exactly, that would have been a good night for you.
Exactly, that would have been a good night for you.
I would have gone, oh my God, 10th and 11th grade,
I probably would have gotten through without
latching onto substances.
That probably would have been fucking great.
At least nobody's pregnant.
Yeah, I mean, my God.
Yeah, that was a conversation we had after
when I had moved to New York like maybe two years after I'd
Living to New York I went back to Colorado. We're all at this bar and this girl was like and I was like what the you know
I don't want to say her last name, but I always call her by her last name
I'm like, yeah, look at asshole and then I was like, are you like married now? Everything's going well
She's like, yeah, I mean I was in love with you and I was like, what's up?
What's I know it's ever professed their long term love for me
that was unrequited.
Yeah, I would never have where something goes like,
I think you know, I was totally obsessed with you.
Why?
Yeah, I was everywhere.
Wish I'd find out somebody was obsessed with you.
It's only been one.
Awesome.
It was only one girl.
And she wasn't like obsessed.
She was like, I wanted to date you.
And she was like, and you were just like,
oh, you're my buddy.
And I was like, you can tell you're my buddy and I was like you can I
tell you my buddy I don't know. All right tell for both my friends at different time. Christine wants people to be obsessed with her so bad she just tells me I'm obsessed with her.
That's funny. But she says that things where I'm like I swear to God I need like a year away from you
and she'll be like you're obsessed with me. That's so fun. I'm like all right let's say there's
a big gray area.
Yeah.
And the true answer is somewhere in the middle,
but it is definitely not I'm obsessed with you.
Yeah.
You need to move out like now.
That's why Katie sometimes she was
a good boss of your obsessed with me.
Katie is so fun.
Katie and I are getting a fight because she's like,
what are you doing?
You're like annoying me.
You're like trying.
And I'm like, yeah, you're a hot girl.
I'm trying to keep you. I still got that high school mentality where I'm like, anything I'm like, yeah, you're a hot girl. I'm trying to keep you
I still got that high school mentality where I'm like, you know what you need me to do
And she's like, I don't know why you been weird and I'm like, oh fuck are you gonna leave me?
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