The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Secrets of Playboy (feat. Roy Wood Jr.)
Episode Date: January 26, 2022Roy Wood Jr. joins The Bonfire and talks Secrets of Playboy and Hugh Hefner's alleged torturing of women and animals.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the Sir...uisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast.
You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM.
Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder.
Bonfire everybody.
In fact, we talk to SiriusXM 103, Big J. Ocarson, Dan Soder.
The whole crew is here.
We're hanging out with our guest, everybody.
He's here as new Comedy Central Special
in perfect messenger is out now.
And you could also listen right here on Sirius XM
to his show Roy's job fair.
And that's on Comedy Central Radio every Friday
at 7 p.m. East 4 p.m. West.
Or you can listen on demand on the Sirius XM.
Have any time, everybody, it's the hilarious.
Roy Wood Jr.
Every one. I could have just told him, Google that shit. Now we give him all the
breakdowns or you can listen to it anytime on demand. Maybe at 2 p.m. when you
think you have a light lunch. Or stream is special on Paramount Plus. We
want to give them every viable option. Yeah it goes good with even like a
vegan meal which is good with it. Stream it on Paramount Plus, and when it fades out where the commercials once were, you can
stop and go do something.
That's so funny with that kind of edit.
Or you're like, this is clearly built.
Why the fuck not just use the original long version of the fucking taping?
They use the TV edit?
No, not the TV edit.
They just lift at the commercials out.
So it's the proper. That's the proper.
It's the proper 64 minutes, but why did you put the why'd you leave the faith in where the commercials used to be?
That's crazy. Well, yeah, that's what you're
lazy or you mother fuck.
Yeah, you're also with it with the show. We take them on Hulu like if when they do take the commercials out of a share
I'm very thankful and appreciative to have an opportunity
Share my comedy I go long career and I just appreciate just walking face
Welcome to faction talk one of the three were we're freed from channel 95 and there were fucking
Strictions that they put on comedy
We want a fucking puttin Nikki Glazer at the front of the line guess what she's making songs my Bob say get you
That song went a bit. Okay okay if they were the best of friends man so
see you boys great man I don't get out much anymore I know I'm missing you around
I'm finally at the point in the pandemic where I trust being around
comedians again okay you know enough damning articles came out in 2020 to stop
yeah well honestly the probably the point of the pandemic where every comic Indians again, okay, you know enough damning articles came out in 2020 to stop
Honestly, probably the point of the pandemic where every comic was gonna get it's got it. They've already had Yeah, we're all running around I go by two or schedules where I'm like, okay
If my paranoia wasn't like the comics it was giving it to the boy and then my five year old getting home school
For a month there's some horses. Yeah shit. Did he start school during the pandemic?
Yes.
Started kindergarten.
In the pandemic.
In the pandemic.
What was that?
Home schooling?
No, they were digital from here.
No, no, no.
2020, he was still four year old preschool.
So they did the, and it's like trying to make a cat.
Watch your fucking times.
Right.
Yeah.
He came line him up at all.
But kindergarten, they pretty much oscillated
like a month on, a month remote, a month on.
Like something would fuck up the house of cards
and everyone would get sent home.
Sure was.
For a wild kid just coming in and being like,
my parents went to Florida and they kissed a lot of people.
Oh, and Howard's turn, they were talking about some lady
called and she goes, well, I want a month,
I need to some work on my teacher and some scuzz fucking bus driver lady.
Just had it and gave it to every one of the kids on the bus. Just like, just the whole
school. She did tell anybody. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, so yeah. So I'm, I'm a lot more comfortable
being out. It's good to fucking see you boys. Yeah. It's good to see you too. Um, last night,
I saw Jay at the seller and I left and in our text thread, he sent a New York Post article
about Hugh Heffner.
There's a new documentary out.
The series, 10 parts, I think.
10 part series.
He did, that shit.
The secret's the playboy.
What if it is he did it?
They get 10 episodes.
Well Roy, the one that I read.
There's too many episodes.
By the way, that's too much smoke for there not to be a little
Dance and fire somewhere
Maybe he mistreated a couple women yeah, but I've watched slam documentaries where I go this person is just mad
Like I say that big of a deal. I've seen those like like those like
No, no, this is our Kelly was only sick
Damn you're right and you got a second season though
Looking that wasn't all you did and he goes oh, no, I saved like the best stuff
Yeah, cuz I thought that was over
Are you familiar with imprisonment that season two? I mean we wrapped it in case we didn't get picked up
But like we always had a little string hang in a case We get to pull a little more story out of this and this is fucking
10 and the claims of Beastie Ality are the ones where I was like, okay, take it from the top
So what is what is what is the detailing over this episode to back you I watched the first two yesterday
Okay, so here's where I can give you on the first
So the celebrity influence of getting the secret link, huh? No, no, it's out. Oh, okay. I think two episodes are out and that's it of the
of the 10. So I watched them, but I fell asleep on the second one actually. It was late,
but I'm going to watch it tonight. It was so good. The first one was just sort of the
history of it. And what's really great is watching these, I mean, girls who, they probably
they show their pictures. They were just gorgeous so hot amazing bodies, but they're 70 now
That's really fun. I mean, so they got that hot girl energy. That's all worn down. They got former NFL player energy
So it's just but they're all dark. I'll tell you what it's like to be hot
Contacts board. Oh, yeah, it does not go well. Yeah, and they're bitter about hot girls now because they have like better equipment
Like the way that NFL players talk about the rules.
How to head that fucking
Bradshaw would have nine super bowls if they could hit him the way they can't hit Tom Brady
It's like a hot girls from the 60s were like right. That was an appetizer to dinner. No, well that's the thing is there now
Coming out and being like no, it was all like fucked up and he introduced us to drugs and brought us into this world
I saw one of those quote and tried to make it like
This isn't weird like what you come up and we watch
First of all, here's a weird maybe I'm wrong about this. I have never thought putting on
Pono would stir things up to get things going fucking girl
Never I've had a girl asked us to watch Pono before and I thought that was kind of weird in
its own right. But to go into a room it's like come on girls and he brings seven girls into a room
with Pono playing on a movie screen. I'm just like I can't sink in to being not funny enough
to let that unfold. I'm making jokes about everything the whole time. Which was he at the time.
He had to have a little bit of ballabrit.
Because that's a ball of move.
Oh, this is all, this is all.
How did he make his money?
Yeah, all publishing.
I think it was the magazine stuff.
Yeah, they don't even really get into that too much
other than saying like he started this magazine
and it took off.
Because that's always one of those.
The first episode was Marilyn Monroe.
But here's the thing.
We've done, we've done seven Batman movies
where you find out his parents were killed at the opera
We have zero information about how Hugh Heffner got his money. I guess it's always to Google away
From finding out that because he had you have to have a lot of money if you're gonna be like hey 70 you guys come in my bedroom
Let me put on this old deep throat
Who's it?
By the time it got to that like weird like these are my seven girlfriends horse shit though
This is he was old and it was weird for them when he was like a younger. I guess hip at the time guy
I think you just fucked the time
But they're all saying like this guy was in the some okay, but then so then is he creep that slowly Jess
morphed into, oh yeah, I'll fuck the old guy for a little acclaim and fame,
into something less creepy and more consensual.
Like, how much of it was criminally creep versus just odd?
Because I feel like the older you have when it got the more, it was just odd.
Odd.
It's almost like it's a 25 year old with a 80 year old.
That's just odd.
And it's also, he's sexually tasted everything to taste.
So he's kind of in this weird thing where he's like I'm gonna fuck that fish
It's also a tremor-claw. It's also the problem with playboy in general
And it's the same problem with Max and magazine the same problem with fucking hooters or
Twin Peaks are those fucking like restaurants. It's for a really
Buttoned up person to think they're being like naughty and playboy
Really pitched to that was kind of the thing it was like oh, it's just a little it's a little taste
But they're saying no like the little bun tails. They're saying when they got away from the
The fucking like great articles and and beautiful women and tasteful poses
It was like a real gross fuck fest thing. Okay, so he starts Tasteful Magazine with $600 bills
into a hundred million dollar empire.
And because the magazine had big celebrity centerfolds
and interviews, you get the whole party
to around that issue.
And that's how you build your social cashier.
And so that brings people who want to be next to start them.
Who also want to do things extra?
Ding, ding, ding, to be stars be stars now you're the fucking man.
Yeah, and you got women that are willing to be one of seven
girlfriends who will then put up with yeah, I'll take a
quay loot. Yeah, they're porn on one of them.
Holly quay loot big thing. Yeah, Holly. Yeah, Holly Madison
was saying that they would have orgies and he wouldn't use
condoms. Yeah, he was like refused to wear condoms
But here's the thing all you kind of have to know is gonna come to terms. Here's no surprise
Have you been in enough like all the wood stuff Roy or or parties even or or in the LA scene
What I'm always blown away by and we've talked about this in the show before but the playboy mentions a great example of it people who have
Such belief in themselves
because of their celebrity or money or power that they're not, if I went up, that was
a multi-millionaire. I wouldn't think two Playboy girls. If I walked up to them and put
my arms around, they're like, hips both, and was like, girls, why don't we go to the other
room and talk. I think they would be like, yeah. Do you know what I mean?
And these guys have the confidence to be like,
and then they can't believe it's weird.
It goes, oh, what that weird, that oil tycoon
who's got like a bullfrog face, like, yeah,
he couldn't believe that girl was upset
that she had to suck his dick.
He couldn't even believe it.
He was, what that girl said she wanted to suck my dick?
And you believed that?
You're a criminal.
Is the a creepy sex hound?
It like is that is that again back to the 10 episodes?
They're saying that he just basically was wild and just partied and did you know had
the woman do drugs and fuck.
Okay, he was grooming.
Yes, sure that word is you there it is.
There it is.
He groomed me and twisted my mind.
I'm thinking his way was normal.
Okay, so my
fecal was a creep and was like being shady to these chicks and
then also fostering environment where surely I had a joke
about this that just never worked. But Cosby couldn't have been
the only one plot known motherfuckers at his parties. Who else
was that that's the thing that's never discussed. Who else
was at these fucking party?
I always a point I like to make because there's some have been Lawden wanted to take down the towers
But he wasn't a problem until the second guy was like that's a good idea and I'm gonna help you with it
Who backed him up? Cosby had a guy that's like fuck yeah, I'll help you pause and play the trailer cuz play the trailer cuz in the at least
I don't know if it's in the trailer. It's in the article that it was like Cosby was around
But I'm saying not only is he like in the opening of the show which if it's in the trail or it's in the article that it was like Cosby was around, but I'm saying not only is he like
Or in the opening of the show which is not in the trail
No, it shows him playing tennis of the mansion and he just I forget the line
But he says something to the camera and gives a little eyebrow thing,
he goes, it's very like, I mean,
they make it salacious on purpose.
It's funny.
So it's the trailer for the new Hugh Hefner mini series,
the secrets of Playboy.
It's called, oh, that's a discipline.
I got to point not too far into my time there.
I think I was only like six months in
where I kind of broke under that pressure
and being made to feel like I needed to look exactly like everybody else. My hair was really long,
naturally, and I was just like, I'm gonna go chop my hair off so I can at least look a little different.
I came back with short hair and he flipped down on me and he was screaming at me and said it made me look old, hard and cheap.
That's funny though, you don't think about that.
He's got that old timing.
No, he's got old, timey verbal abuse for women.
I'm gonna tell you right now, you look rinky-tinky.
You look like a little bit of a...
You're lost, you're moxy.
No, look at that, you're looking like a boardwalk slut.
What are you doing over here?
Yeah, damn skank, you're a damn skamp. Yeah are you doing over here? Yeah, Dan skank your Dan skamp
Yeah, you're a time store lady the evening. Yeah, you look like you chew bubble gum with your lips
You know the fucking means dude
Yeah, keep going give me more of this dude look at his glasses
Yeah, what is he fucking a pitch black?
With these on pitch black
There's a lot of playboy bunnies around.
I remember when she cut her hair.
He was very unhappy about it.
Yeah, his world.
Half would be pretty abrasive in the way.
He said things to Holly.
She came down with red lipstick one time,
and he flipped out and said he hated red lipstick on girls. He didn't need to take it off right away. Even though other people could with red lipstick one time and he flipped out and said he hated red lipstick on girls.
You take it off right away.
Even though other people could wear red lipstick and it didn't seem to bother him.
It was very frustrating to live with every day.
All of the drama that was going on and the tensions.
I could definitely see that she was getting depressed.
Here's a problem.
It was very difficult to live with attention.
This isn't, they're not the girls in a Cleveland.
They're not chained to a thing.
If you were like, yeah, this actually sucks.
I'm sure you could have left at any time.
Sign an NDA.
Sign an NDA, you leave.
Roy has brought up a good point that this kind of environment
really puts people that want to be famous into it.
So she's like, this is probably her head.
This is your beta celebrity.
Yeah, it's your test.
Like maybe if I get through some of the bounces
or something else, but like, like,
if I stick it through, I can fucking be famous.
This is opening for that shitty fucking hitliner
20 years ago.
Like your page of $40.
This is when I was leaving to my friend Johnny Bluntman's
couch in Tucson, because I wanted to feature
for TC Hatter and Marcy Ann. $40. This is when I'm leaving on my friend Johnny Bluntman's couch and Tucson because I wanted to feature for
TC Hatter and Marcy and
Small of silent clown and his wife played the piccolo the entire time the effort I put in and the place I had to stay to open for Raymond the Amish comics
You're right Roy. This is her being like come on. Just fucking do it. Two more shows and then you'll be fucking I'll do Thanksgiving weekend. I know there's no press
That's where being like I'll suck your balls half. I know no one's tied them since the 80s. I get it
But it's unfortunate keep going. Did I see what was the thing someone asked like how much is this is this documentary going to be
real or regret
Revenge like why I
Was one of his stupid seven girlfriends and I never even got a movie role this sucks fuck you have
Yeah, he ran game. He was a creep and like the fuck weird and raw dog at peak eight
Peacates
Peacates on dog and then also fuck the animals apparently because it goes, it's just for the gays. Everyone put on pajamas.
Everyone, I'm gonna take off my robe slowly.
Yeah, he's a wild boy.
In disrespectful as fuck, and probably have the women
under his control based on money and self-esteem, you know,
like I think there's something to that.
Well, for sure.
Well, he knew how to pick them for sure.
And also the thing is, I also don't like a guy.
I don't like, I feel uncomfortable if I had to perform in sweatpants on a gig and this guy went to his biggest parties in
pajamas for jamas and just
Liver spotty and his grosses all hell and just the confidence to be like
You have of course these seven girls want to juggle my balls. Like, why would they not? Well, the amount of girls that are rejected from the playboy world is even crazy. I mean,
he has being a playmate, such a, I mean, girls aspire to it. Like this girl, Holly,
said that she would look up to like Anna and Nicole Smith and Pamela Anderson and all those
girls started as playmates. So you have, I mean, girls in LA, I'd friends that they like
got into the playboy party. And it was was like you would have to send a picture and stuff just to be let into the building
So you have the top tier woman just that was that Holly girl so I girl Holly so it was her they were like yo you can't be a playmate
But you could be you could be have squirrel friends
She's the choice the same thing with Bridget she couldn't be so you can my friend Bonnie
She never got into the magazine but she was accepted to all the parties so she would get dressed up and go to all the parties.
So that's why they don't leave. Yeah cuz they're like this is my only way again.
Christine's like what are you doing? She's I'm going to a mid-summer night's Eve party.
I'm dressed like a forest nymph. Yeah. I have to wear these.
I have to wear these fairy wings on a bus. Hey would you mind airbrushing my tits?
I can't get them in the mirror. Oh also at what point in a huge age
Did Hugh Hefner go from wearing pajamas is sexy to necessary?
Was it like around 85 to like honestly this thing was used way ahead of his life
Yeah, we're trying to put a claspy bag in jeans. It's too tight. Denimal pop it. No, I never got invited to shit like this in LA.
Like I think Motherfucker could smell the goody-two shoes on me.
Or just the fact that you're not down to play
their fucking play.
But no, just like scene party at all.
No, there was one, there's one, there's one black come.
I'll tell you off air, because I know he's not
about that life anymore.
So I don't want the streets to twist.
Yeah.
I know he used to fucking like get down at his house,
and I knew a lot of the comedians that would go to those parties.
But the problem for me is that, you know,
the first three years of, first four years,
I was doing stand-up, I was on probation.
So, I still have credit cards in college,
when I was 19, so like, when that, that was my house.
We were talking about stealing on Thursday,
and we were talking about on Thursdays episode,
and that's a big time. Bro, I was doing it in stealing on Thursday and we talking about Thursday's episode and that's big time
Bro, I was doing it in 98. This is pre-chips and all of that shit
Numbers dude, you're all no-
Mail cards pre-activate it. There wasn't even a number to call to turn your card home that bitch was hot out the
Fucking mail sorting job bitch. This will be mailing cash really?
Or you just like
The second you swipe the second you swipe and it's working
Like look at this phoenix coyotes master card. That is
so
that
Being on probation I had to stay straight and narrow to stay on the road sure
Because you can't be in the room with bullshit. You can't piss dirty
You can like if I'm in if I'm adjacent to bullshit, I go to jail. So that established
just a habit of just not being around shit like. So people aren't going to call you because
they're like Roy can't come over. He's on probation. I look at this. He had from footage and
I just go there's eight felonies in that. Like I can walk in a room. You just see the felonies.
What did you see? Blue pen on the counter was actually over a contract that was missing it's didn't tell me when the room
slows down I can just see all the shit I see felt that's two years over there
four years right there it's fucking plea deal right there I fucking with my
drugs prostitution think that the child pretty sure that's a kid so I just
even if I had opportunities to go to some shit like that, I wouldn't have fucking gone.
Well, it's funny, I was saying like,
when I would have wanted to go,
there was no chance I would have been able to go.
And as I get older and you're like,
oh, you can go to something like that.
Like, I'd be going to like roll my eyes at it all
because the things that,
well, I would have been,
it seemed so great about it.
Like, I wouldn't care enough.
They were like, look at that.
Oh, a naked, beautiful girl swinging on a vine swing. You're like, okay, I mean, it's like a strip club basically
at someone's house.
The closest I've ever been to being on the scene, Michael Che invited me to a fucking
SNL rap party. Yeah. I didn't. And it was it was one of the it was the shapel So and I ended up leaving that early at like 1 a.m. Which I considered late that is late
And then you see the article in the post at 4 a.m. Dave shapel invited every Hall of Fame black
Musician
Everybody performed that's so funny and I already left that's the type of my fuck I am
I'm just not gonna stay so guys Roy went home and went to sleep get prints out the back. He's not dead
Literally, that's what happened I get a say out and brought him back
I brought the spirit of prince. Oh, that's the party with a Kanye went a Kanye can
No, that was a different night the stand, but yeah, that's like the scene stuff one time
I got invited to an after party of like,
odd ball and it was like with all those famous people
and it was like they rented a private room
and I went and it was for 15 minutes.
I ate a burger and I was like,
it's got a sock, so I went to play PlayStation.
No, I'm bad at it.
Yeah, I went to Chase birthday party
even it was like a nice, so whole grand
or something.
Oh, we get a chase doesn't invite me to shoot.
It was just a scene.
That was one of those, he didn't like call me to come. That doesn't invite me to show it. It was just such a scene I was that was one of those it would you like call me to come
That was one of those everyone's just crash. Yeah, and so I went and I was like I got talked in the go
We already went home after comedy club spots here
We go, but it's not even starting until after SNL and everything and I was like oh
And then I was just awake enough. They were like let's go at least check it out
So we in Christine we went over there and like and change got full, yeah, she a gills with us.
And I was like, I got 45 minutes, man.
I'll do around, I'll have a drink,
but I'm like, I don't know what to do.
Like, there's nothing to do.
Sometimes I'm dance.
Yeah, but sometimes you get calls like a couple of years ago,
two or three years, it was when Pete was dating
Ariana Grande and he called me, he's like,
how does she go forever?
Where's the hot guy?
And I was like, I'm in town on this Thursday, you know, and then Friday and Saturday, I got gigs and he's like, I'm a sail forever, we're so hot out. And I was like, I'm in town on this Thursday,
you know, and then Friday and Saturday I got gigs
and he was like, come and hang out.
Now for the moon, it'll be me and you.
We'll catch up, thinking I'm gonna go hang out with Pete.
And then he calls me and he's like,
Hey, actually, you got me,
we met this place in downtown Brooklyn.
I'm supposed to play two K with Little Wayne.
And I'm like, yeah, I don't want it.
I'm not going to that.
I'm not gonna go hang out at that.
That, the phone call makes me feel out of place. Yeah, like little Wayne's gonna be like
Hey, I don't like that big white guy who's he standing there?
I don't like that big old gangly like that pretty good
I don't know me little weasier uncomfortable with the big head and white guys
Yeah, I don't know what you do man, I don't know what you do, man.
I don't know what you do at a party.
You show up and go on a fuck.
If a pajama old man came down the stairs
with eight chicks on his arm,
and every other woman in the room
wants to be one of the women on his arm.
Yeah.
You're not pulling nobody at these parties.
Because if you do, she's gonna think
you is seeing you fuck her and she's blowing her chance.
All right.
Also, I've seen, I guess, you have to see the dark side
of it, I guess.
Like one on a much smaller level.
When I used to drive strippers and escorts to parties,
driving them home, you see the dark side of that fucking world.
Dennis Hough, who's dead, the guy who ran the money.
Money, money, money.
He used to come to the cell all the time,
and I remember the people were like,
oh man, Dennis Hough, dude,
and I can see right away,
I'm like these two girls with him
that he says are both his girlfriends,
you're like, they ain't into this.
And then I became friends with the one.
Bunny Love was her name on the show and everything,
but I became friends with her when she came to my shows,
like California a bunch,
and just in talking to her,
and it was just kinda like,
yeah, well it was like the way to,
you could charge the most of the thing, and like's like no one's like oh this guy rules they're like yeah he's
an old fat guy who like we have to fuck him if we want to work in his place but it's the but it's
the whorehouse so if you're gonna go fuck for money it's like the place to be so you got to like
deal with that I saw the the guy ran on the strip club over my carol I was a toy that was young
and he knew me when he walked,
and he was like, you see the new girl yet,
and he better come over, and he was like,
look at this, and he's like, grabs her ass,
she's like, spread it, and I'm like,
all right, dude.
It just seems like, and by the way,
she's like shaking it while you're doing it,
but I go, and eight years, Miss,
you're gonna be like, what the fuck did I do with my life?
Yes.
And I don't wanna be the guy who was there
going like, yeah, dude.
You did it.
I'm nervous of people that they're going to be
in the background in these photos.
Oh, that's special.
Oh my god, dude, that Hugh Heffner,
this 10-part documentary series,
there's a couple actors that were like,
fuck, I did some blow in 92 and got my dick sucked
in the grotto.
You don't think that's going to be in there, do you?
Can you see if you could stop?
Bayo is like, I took down a lot of pussy
on that fucking backyard.
I might be fucking
in trouble.
Playing this, but yes, but see if you could find also the actual intro of the show when they
show Bill Cosby.
That's the wildest one of me.
What is the way they just show it?
It's like it's such a very good like it's really getting people to watch.
It's also where they do the negative of a picture.
So it looks creepy.
Well, eyes are hollow like than him smiling and the,
you can make anything with a gable.
I was 30 seconds left, give a gale.
Yeah, rest it is.
And heard the meaner was starting to change.
I remember there were times probably
within the first couple of years I lived there.
When I felt like I was just in this cycle of gross things,
and I didn't know what to do
Secrets of play. Oh, that was not that good of a trailer because I want to say I'm a little intrigued
But I when you would see those pictures with you and his wings of ladies is
To yeah, look to the outside. I was looking at seven and eight. I'm like, can you get picked off?
Pick off one of the ones that was though when he had the set when
he had the three he was able to make them all like names in their own right when he had the seven
when he shows them the seven I go I don't know who all of them except that holly girl are I don't
know any of them and they never went on to any is you know what it was it's like watching one of
those young comedians of comedy on HBO specials for you like, oh my God, look at that David tell. I know that guy is.
Who's, who's Ron Nelson?
It's just like a guy who's like, hey, I'm a young comic.
If this, what does this accomplish?
I think it accomplishes if you are a woman that's like the eighth girlfriend
of some guy right now, hopefully you'll look at yourself and the man go,
all right, what the fuck am I doing?
So you can change your fucking half.
Yeah, or you're super into the role
and this is your last dance.
That's not gonna kill Playboy magazine.
It's Playboy magazine even though it's,
it's, it's, it's, it's dead.
They picked up now Cardi B is like
the artistic director for Playboy now.
Which is, that's a, that's a death whale.
That's like them being like.
Desperation move.
That's like them being like.
Who's popular?
Yeah, cool, can bring in numbers.
You see comedy clubs do that all the time
when they book YouTubers and shit.
Well, that's, yeah.
But what was the award show they had her host?
And like while she's like, I get that she's like charming
and it's like kind of funny, but like,
it also makes her, it's like, did you just have
a 11 year old child host this show?
I was like, she's so has no idea.
You know what I mean?
She goes, oh, and she's like trying to read the thing
and she doesn't know where she's supposed to stay
and she's all over the place.
Well that's the thing about this current time
we're in right now, everybody wants to be cool
and no one wants to do the actual work.
So that's why I say when you watch
that Miley Cyrus Pete Davidson New Year's,
they didn't have the guy that's like,
and in 10 minutes, we're gonna throw it out to Miley and Pete they didn't have the guy that's like and in 10 minutes We're gonna throw it out to my Lee and Pete to count they didn't have the nerd
They didn't have the guy that's like I'll do the paperwork. It was just my Lee and Pete
So it's a minute left and they're like what now
As my lay and you like you need everyone can't be cool
You need someone there to be like and this is what's gonna
Exactly like we're gonna come back from the break and we're gonna be here a little baby and then
Oh, is this the beginning of it? I think it might be I
It's this is this is one that I'm gonna watch it, but I'm looking at Bill Cosby just a hit job
No, no, do you think he or you here too many women? Yeah to just 10 pieces dude
It's too many women for this just to be this is just your experience being blown out of a point like no
It's waves and waves of women going. Yeah, the shit was weird. It was crazy
I took way loads and I woke up next to a German Shepherd. Okay. Yeah, maybe maybe look into this guy
These guys you know the guy that wore the robe all the time, he was a problem.
That's funny to get to that point.
Okay.
But where you're like the guy in pajamas was a problem.
And you're, because you walk in the room, it's a walk in the room the first time you go,
why is that guy in pajamas?
Well, it's just like, it's like hearing the Michael Jackson stuff.
You're like, oh, yeah, why don't we ever think that on our own?
Do you have a, do you ever, here's a terrible question.
When you hear the word beastiality throwing around
and you go, yeah, it's so-and-so, fucked an animal.
Sure.
Is your next thought the gender of the animal?
Or is it just gross?
Is it gross full stop or do you go a step further?
Yeah, see, I would say.
Or like beastiala gay. Yeah, I would say- Boy like B.C.D.L.A.G.A.
Yeah, I would say B.C.D.L.A.D.A.
I look different because you know, if it's a male dog and a male and a guy having sex
with a male dog, I think that's a bonding exercise like the old Spartans.
That dog becomes tied to you.
You know, but if it's a female dog and you're a man fucking it, that's gross.
You're fucking it for love
Yeah, you know homophobic for Beastieality
Spend your mind like go to the intro. This is the intro not not you know what I mean
Black and white we're to show you Hugh naked it's because I don't want to go back there
Just jumped the 10th I always think I always feel like they should score these these kind of documentaries like Vietnam with like a lot of credence. It's a lot of like war music. Some folks will buy it. Come on down to green river.
Here we go. Right here. This is the intro of the show.
Oh, room room. I'm off to my pussy palace.
Follow me. I met a medical publisher of Playboy Magazine.
You have to know it was just 27.
He fashioned himself in Playboy as the face of sexual liberation.
Playboy is one of the most famous brand names in the world.
I would like to be remembered as somebody who played some positive part in changing the
social sexual values of my time.
I believe that have pulled one over on the whole world.
I just wanted to fuck dogs.
That was my whole plan.
To fuck dogs in front of beautiful women and not have them.
I wouldn't have thought he was a norm.
I wouldn't have assumed he was a normal, not piece of shit before any of this.
So if I met him, I go, I bet he's just like a, you need a lot.
I said when guys, again, with this people trying to explain
away extraordinary behavior, like it's not,
if you acknowledge it's weird, I think you're less weird.
Yeah, because you go, yeah, I know I'm in this like,
pretty wacky shit.
And then you go, oh, at least you understand it's wack.
And then you go, whoa, you can't, you can't fuck a dog.
I thought this is America.
Yeah, my fuck it was creep mode.
And then a byproduct of it was the sexual liberation
at a time where that was considered rebellious behavior.
Ooh, I'm gonna show them on.
I didn't shave my coo.
I'm gonna fucking...
But it's almost like right now with comedy,
where the comedy is so popular that you get people
that are using comedy to talk shit or whatever
and be like, I was just doing comedy.
You're like no
Stubbickers
funny
got a plan
I get name one speakers is hilarious
Posers
it did not allow for the consent of the willing
when it came to happiness buddies
you have to keep those secrets quiet
what if you got for free?
when you got some on that.
Jesus.
Jesus, William.
William Cosby.
William, Doctor, William H Cosby.
William, what are you?
This is also why I don't hang out with a loud mouth,
fracas, because you don't know who got that funk on them.
God, you don't know.
Especially old-timers.
God, damn, I found out when you find shit at Hollywood.
When you're like, fuck, yeah, dude. dude it you know it is jay and I just went
through it with our two favorite musicians absolutely is a big Maryland
Manson fan and all the charges about abuse of Maryland Mansor coming out
I'm a big Queen to the Stone Age Josh homie fan his shits blown up with his
family and his kids are worse than Maryland has to go right yeah it was two
part documentary coming out on HBO I mean mean, it's crazy. Josh Hommie's got his kids filing restraining orders against them
and you're just kinda like, hey, you're my guy.
Yeah?
Oh, shit.
You're my guy?
Oh, shit.
But yeah, I mean, having famous friends,
you're gonna come out and be like,
they had fucking weird camel sex parties.
Yeah, even the young young comics like I ask around
Which man come on the road like I don't even care if you're funny no more like I ask might
Because the women comics will tell you they'll tell you that they won't go into specifics
They won't tell you who but they'll give you enough to make a judge a value judgment
It's also crazy about that is when male comics we are much worse at finding out who's
ski v. We have no idea.
So they'll tell you a guy that like, you know, like I ski v. like a female comic I'll tell
you that you're like, what?
It's always people.
It says like, that's why the bill cost, but it's been set a thousand times.
But like, it's the bill cost we think goes to most judgemental. Why does it have to be that way?
Why can't you just be clean and blah, blah, you know,
and not cursed and all this,
and it's just doing the dirtyest,
grimy as shit.
Yeah, always.
It's the loudest person.
You're like, what are you doing?
That's why I said all those people
that are like the woke people that come after comedy.
It's like, what have you done?
The people that are like, you're a racist.
Like because of that joke.
Lady, what have you done in your life?
Like, did you petition to have Black people remove from your apartment building or something why are you
what are you making up for you i don't remember who the woman there was a woman that just out of
nowhere after shane had been fired from s and l this woman on twitter was just like you guys remember
when that racist guy got s and l and then got fired and just like senate and then someone sent
it to shane and he retweeted it right Well, you retweet that and someone's like,
well, what's your Twitter about?
And they found like 20 crazy racist tweets
that she had from like 2011.
Nice.
She ends up losing her job and it's like,
you wouldn't pick the fight.
Makes me feel so good.
And then you got, you fucking got fired
because you're in a bad shit.
Well, how about the Chapel thing with the Netflix?
The next
Girl and the girl that was like the one leading the charge had a thing she like you know what I'm about to kill all Asians
Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, you don't this shit man. You just don't know who the fuck is doing what man?
Cuz I can tell you right now like mail comics, they're not just bragging
about creeps shit. No, they're having hidden like fucking secret identities for superheroes.
Yeah. It's like I can't tell you. I'm definitely. But if you ask, if you ask the fucking, especially
black women comics, fucking ask black women comics, should I keep working with him? No.
Oh, the creeps are. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's great call of y'all manikura Chloe Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-Hilly-H They just all taught me and so that's like my that's a good way to go. That's how it like when I'm if it's someone new that I don't know much about
I
Worked you should consider him for a writer. Oh, oh, oh, daily shows a perfect example. Oh bitch
Someone says thinking about a man. I'm thinking about sending a packet to the daily show. Do you know how to who I should?
Yeah, I'll be right back. Hey, oh, Yamanika
Let's go on a couple names about you.
Yeah.
Just dude, that's so funny.
You're like a progressive Charlie's Angels
where you're actually doing good work
by calling up your angels.
I just need to know what the fuck is going on.
I'm not a bad move.
We can decide what, no.
It's awful.
It's awful to see a fight out of the guys,
like really nice and you get along with them.
And then it's like, he actually fucked me
and my sister asleep.
To sleep. Okay. She was no while we were asleep. No. Okay.
We got a rap.
It's fucking we got to get out of here. I mean, I don't know if we can come
back at this point.
I got you a reen sir.
Listen, Roy, thank you very much for coming by.
We know understand your comedy central radio.
We know that they didn't want you to come by here.
Make sure you check out Roy's show.
Check out about this shit man.
I'm happy to be here with your boys.
Roy's job fair on Comedy Central Radio every Friday at 7pm.
It's a podcast too.
Just download it.
So go download it.
Or let's do it on the Series XM app and check out his brand new special on Comedy Central
in perfect messenger. Out now streaming on Paramount Plus.
Big J is going to be in Milwaukee Thursday through Saturday and then Addison Improv, Caroline's
good to Big J comedy dot com tickets.
Dan Soder Rochester, Comedy the Carlson February 3rd to the 5th, Acme Comedy Club February
17th to the 19th and Good Knights North Carolina 24, 24th to the 26th, tickets and tour dates,
of course at dancelter.com, check out the Bond Fire merch, the Bond Fire merch, check out
the podcast, wherever you get podcasts.
We'll see you tomorrow, and we'll catch you tomorrow.
Toodaloo!
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