The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - So Damn Awake

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

Jim Breuer tells a Dave Chappelle story on a podcast and the guys try to decipher if The Illuminati captured Dave or aliens. Also, Christine is a genius cook of one thing. Find out what that could b...e!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly You know the The comedy portion of the Salem or B contest that I won in the early 2000s The winner of the music part of the contest there my prize was to open for Kim Cole's Kim Cole's and from Living Single, right? Yeah, Kim Coles at Caroline's. That was my prize. The prize for the singer, they were so happy
Starting point is 00:00:33 I did well on the show, because the singer who won, got to do a recording session with Coco from SWV, hated her. Like the person who won the art didn't sell, the fashion ate shit. But I won. Turn it up Lou. Bobby's so sick. I'm gonna bring him back to life. And uh huh, and uh uh,
Starting point is 00:00:57 huh huh, huh huh, huh huh. Bobby you still think this is fucked music though it's not. This is hilarious music. This is not a hilarious movie. This is right there. This is not a hilarious movie This is right there right here. It knocks me right off my feet That's when you roll on top of her and you pump it back in no right there no you're both Now and then you slow down a little bit They start to kiss her okay a woman that I would have sex with would find this funny. Yeah, because you fuck like you're in Prague. What does that mean? It means he's fucking, gg, gg, gg, gg.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Like Swedish death metal? No. Why do you picture me being this kind of rabid, aggressive fucker? Music you like to fuck to is fucking, I told you, man. Hang on, turn it up, Lou. It's expendables. I'm going to hit this note. Throw hang on turn it up Lou it's expendables I'm gonna hit this note
Starting point is 00:01:47 mm throw my free bird on Lou it's not a big smile it's a thing with me what are you doing now Bobby are you inside of her I'm right here it's so sweet I'm behind her
Starting point is 00:02:02 it's right off of my feet that's when I push it in all the way that That wasn't it, it's the next one. I push it all the way in, right there. All of it? All of it right there. And then I take it out slowly. And do you do this noise? You go, oh.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Yeah. And then I put my finger right in her mouth and she starts to suck it, but I'm on top. Are you fucking a child? Jesus Christ, Joe. You suck my finger. No. You're aggressive. You're aggressive.
Starting point is 00:02:24 You're aggressive. You're aggressive. Ooh, turn it up, look, Just suck my finger. No. You're aggressive. You're aggressive. You're aggressive. You're aggressive. Ooh, turn it up, Lou, here's my part. Something in the way you do, the way you do, you, you, you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, God. Damn. My Lord.
Starting point is 00:02:45 That's the kind of voice you get when you're living in a black neighborhood when you're young. It just happens. You learn how to fucking bring it. The 90s were such an interesting time to be in a black neighborhood because it was still a little scary, a little dangerous, but there was also a lot of really good dancers,
Starting point is 00:03:03 and you know, I mean mean like people that were like known for being good at dancing, like those things. Or there was also a couple of dudes who were like cool guys that could sing really good. Like this like R&B type music. It was a weird mix to feel. Yeah, when the black neighborhoods started dancing and roller skating, it was safer.
Starting point is 00:03:22 You know what I mean? When they pick up your white activities, like, you see guys? How great is this? Yeah, that was a safer time. Let's stop fighting and start skating. You go back to the basketball court and they're all skating around.
Starting point is 00:03:37 Piece of cardboard. I never got into roller skating culture. There was not a skating in my neighborhood. It was all hills and row homes. I had a row homes are weird So weird, they're fucking weird. Yeah, it's like the original projects, right? No, yeah Yeah, cuz they're touching. Oh, I mean the whole block is touching. Oh, boy that dude. That's a project The entire block is touching. Yeah touching. I mean, you know know. I know my grandmother, we sold her house after she passed away
Starting point is 00:04:06 and they sold it for cash. So I think whatever the cash was tells you what it's worth, I guess. But like, I never thought anything of it. It's funny looking at houses now, like it's so funny what you want. And then I'm like, the shittiest place I would look at is like 12 times the size of the house you grew up in. But you're like, my grandmother's house was like,
Starting point is 00:04:26 so much room to operate. Yeah, we all, 13 of us lived in my grandmother's house. 13? 13. Damn, those were Hispanic numbers. That was, it was Irish Catholic, you know. Like the Brennan's, like the Brennan family. Yeah, you had to fuck and keep it.
Starting point is 00:04:40 You know what I mean? Even though I don't want ya, I got to take care of ya. My grandmother fucked eight times in her life. And all of them left in. Well she fucked nine, one of them died. Really? Yeah, one of my uncles or something that would have been my uncle died. But yeah, back then you fucked and you kept it.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Yeah, well I gotta be honest, if you have eight kids, losing one doesn't hurt. No, no it doesn't. I'll say it, I'll be honest if you have eight kids losing ones not doesn't hurt no no, I'll say it I'll put that out there. Yeah, I feel comfortable saying that as a cold hard fact statement If you have eight children you lose one you fine if you lose if you have one if you have one kid And you lose that kid that's life altering. Yeah, it changes everything about your life for the rest of your life Yeah, you might as you just get divorced just Just get divorced, hole up, and just drink yourself to death. Or I guess there's a other side and get therapy. Nah, there's no other.
Starting point is 00:05:30 If we lose Max, me and Donna, done. I'm leaving. Well, that's just your excuse because you're gonna go fuck some young chicks again. I'm just going to- Hey, but, Donna, I can't take this Max thing anymore. I go, oh, thank God, get out of the house. I'm just going to live with Kalter and his fucking CPAP wing. I'm gonna go snore with my friend Mike
Starting point is 00:05:47 for the rest of my life. He's going to go down there. High five Hulk Hogan every now and again. Be his sidekick. Yeah, you can put bottle rockets in my asshole. What do you need? I just met Jimmy Mouth of the South Heart. Didn't cheer me up.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Yeah, we had a miscarriage. That was tough. The miscarriage isn't tough. Did you? Yeah, that's why you're not supposed to tell people when you get pregnant. I didn't even understand that, but you get so excited. I think it was on set with Burr and DeRosa
Starting point is 00:06:14 when we were filming the movie Cheat. And I got the news and I was like, dude, I'm gonna be a dad. And they were like, they're good for you, man. How far along, like three days? Three days, and then fucking, like I think two weeks later I was like, hey, it's dead. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:06:30 I had to call him up and be like, it didn't work. It's in the toilet. It didn't work out. Now. Do you blame your jizz or her insides? Her insides, my jizz was fine. All right. Yeah, it was definitely, I got my jizz checked.
Starting point is 00:06:42 My jizz was rockin'. Jizz is on fire? My jizz is on, my jizz is black. Yeah, what if one of those black loads went in there? Ah, I would have a hot. You'd have fucking surgery loads? I would have a fucking little black baby. I would have a sexy black Irish baby.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Yeah, my jizz was fine. It was her box. Yeah. Yeah, it was, you know what it was? It was all her being uptight about having a baby. You know, women get, women get so fucking wrapped up in it that, you know, it's really, this is the weird thing about having a baby,
Starting point is 00:07:11 that they don't tell you, and I think it was back in the day they didn't want to tell you because they didn't want you just dumping in chicks. But it's like one day out of the whole month, it's one day, you can do the math when she's ovulating and then just dumping her for the rest of the time and there's no way you're gonna have a baby.
Starting point is 00:07:28 You know, but there's like, I think one day, was it ovulating? Three days, but one day is the day that it might happen. So if you do the math, if you're with a girl, you can just get the app, the ovulation app and figure it out and just not wear rubber and don't worry about it. If Christine got pregnant, I'd call her a whore
Starting point is 00:07:45 and throw her out of the home, because I pull out way early. Yeah. My pull out game is tight. You pull out as soon as your eyebrows quench up and you make an 11 wrinkle in between your eyes. I go, oh, this feels better than before. I'm gonna jack off for the next five minutes.
Starting point is 00:08:01 So how did you have a kid? Huh? So how did you have a kid? I? So how did you have a kid? I know. If Isabelle didn't look so much like me in the face, I would absolutely, I'd get a DNA test on that one. Exactly like you. She's also six foot tall and...
Starting point is 00:08:15 She walks like you. You guys walk the same way. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. She's definitely my kid, but I don't know. Were you scared when you said she was gonna have the baby? Were you like, fuck, or were you happy?
Starting point is 00:08:24 Overconfident. I talked so much shit about how confident I go. I'll leave this decision like I'll support whatever it is You want to do? Yeah, I was like, but if you want to do it like I just got off I just moved to New York from my main job for my entire like teen years Was even in my 20 my early 20s, like 21 to 22 I think, I would always pick up some jobs and then I would just, at the end of the day, like babysit for my mom and step-pop
Starting point is 00:08:52 because I had siblings so much younger than me. You were a professional babysitter? Well no, they just worked a lot at the hospital. Did they pay you for that? That's what I'm saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. They would give me a couple bucks to do that. So you were a professional babysitter, that was your main job. Sure, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Why you said- I wasn't good at it. Why am I finding this out? Why the fuck didn't we know this? When you showed up in New York, you came from being a professional babysitter. Fresh off. Well, I mean, I worked with a bunch of jobs, but then my parents, what they would do is,
Starting point is 00:09:20 if they were like light on money, they'd have paycheck to paycheck until like not long ago. And they would like it would come a time like it's we would make more money if we both now move to like 16-hour shifts Friday and Saturday Yeah, and or I'm sorry Saturday and Sunday if they did two 16-hour shifts it was like it ended up being like double or triple time by the end of it or something and So they would do that, but they needed a sitter. That would make sense, it's three kids by the time they were done. And so I just would do it.
Starting point is 00:09:50 But I really was not, man, I was not good at it. You have, what are you kidding me? I gave my brother a seizure. From what? We used to, I was just, the thing is, I was young and a kid, so it was hilarious. I always say this is the funniest thing about how much I feel like the world has changed,
Starting point is 00:10:04 like for the worse with race stuff, with how much it's pointed out made a thing that me In an equal number of my black and white friends used to make my brother go in a closet We wouldn't let him out until he said the n-word like for no reason. We just like it's funny. He said it. Yeah I mean What though? Oh, but man, we laughed. When you hear a little baby say the N-word, hilarious, a three-year-old. The last time I.
Starting point is 00:10:30 No idea what they're saying. The last time I babysat, I was so fucking, I got so drunk, I had a, Jesus Christ, half a bottle of Pevmin Schnaps. Oh Lord. I had a rack of talls. I had some whiskey and I think I drank a whole thing of wild Irish rose. While babysitting.
Starting point is 00:10:51 And then I went babysitting. I had to babysit at like eight. And I showed up and I remember the lady was like, are you all right? And I was just fucking sitting there and I'm like, I'm good. I'm all right if you have tequila in that fridge. I woke up to my mother and my two uncles and my mother was just going, fucking let them die.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Fucking let them die. I had to go get my stomach pumped in the hospital. Really? Yeah, I went to take a shit. I had a shit so bad. So I remember I was just sitting there holding the shit in and waiting for her to leave to go shit, but I couldn't. So I just ran to the bathroom and passed out
Starting point is 00:11:22 and I woke up with my pants around my ankles and a turd hanging out of my butt. You know what? And my mom screaming, let them die. I just ran to the bathroom and passed out and I woke up with my pants around my ankles and a turd hanging out of my butt. You know what? And my mom screaming, let him die. I gotta tell ya, I was a better babysitter than that. I did better than that. Well.
Starting point is 00:11:35 When you were babysitting someone else's kids, they were also my brother and sister, so if it makes sense, I was a bad babysitter in the sense that they were my brother and sister, so I would like fuck with them also. But I was like, I'd protect them with my life, but it was such a weird ton of stuff that, yeah, I was real big on,
Starting point is 00:11:54 I was real big on like, yeah, eat potato chips. I'm gonna play video games with my buddy. Pray to God that the, I mean, it was like from the time my brother was a baby, just him for many years, and then four years later, my brother and many years, and then four years later, my brother and my sister, and then four years after that, my brother and both sisters.
Starting point is 00:12:09 My sister used to babysit me. She was a terrible babysitter. Yeah, yeah. She smashed my head against the wall on the corner of the doorframe. We got in a fight, and she grabbed my ears and just took my head and smashed it onto the doorframe, put a hole in my head, and then holding the phone,
Starting point is 00:12:24 she goes, I won't call the ambulance unless you promise me you'll never tell that it was, if you tell mom it wasn't me. So I was like, I won't tell anybody I won't. I had a hole in my, I'm bleeding, in my onesies, my little feetsy pajamas. And I remember, I didn't tell anybody, and then years later, I wound up telling my mother,
Starting point is 00:12:42 and she got mad at me for lying to her. I was like, go fuck yourself. Yeah, my sister did a lot of mean shit to me. My little brother walked in one time when I was watching him on me, I think eating the pussy of the girl I lost my virginity to. That's not good.
Starting point is 00:12:56 And I think we just said we were wrestling and we oversold that so much. You know what I mean? Like all day long, it's like, remember how crazy it was when you saw us wrestling earlier? You were tongue wrestling? Yeah, you saw us wrestling earlier? Ha ha ha ha. You were tongue wrestling? Yeah, you were tongue wrestling in her box.
Starting point is 00:13:10 No, I was definitely protective of the kids without a doubt, it was just like fucking with them. Like, it was always funny to make them say like curse words and shit like that. It's so funny though, back in the day they just let other kids, babysit kids. When I was way too young young when I was 11 years old I was watching a newborn baby. Yeah, my sister should have never babysat me. No. Yeah, I let my onesies on fire making tea
Starting point is 00:13:33 I had they just I just I put the tea in the back and I lit the thing on the front and the stove caught My onesie all the way down And we're making tea. Yeah in a time that you were still in onesies Yeah, my mom got were you born in recovery or something? But just need to give you a black coffee and leave me alone my butt black coffee in that bottle We used to have tea. Yeah, we used to I don't know why dude. I told you we had weird We had no money little boy you went made a hot tea for yourself had a nice hot tea Making tea and I lit my onesie on fire with definitely I cooked shitty mac and cheese, I was making tea, and I lit my onesie on fire.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Definitely, I cooked shitty mac and cheese when I was young, you know, the box mac and cheese I would make when I would come home, but like, pretty young doing all that stuff. Yeah, I used to use the oven, because microwaves weren't around. Had the oven, the Elio's pizza was the shit. We had a toaster oven, which I still recommend
Starting point is 00:14:20 as a good household product. I have one, I have a toaster, I have a 10 in one. It's the best thing. That's all we use in the time. A sliced toaster is for looks maybe if you find a cool looking one. That's for English people. But a toaster oven, that's where the party's at.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Yeah. That's where things are going. That's where you throw in a, you throw in a microwavable mac and cheese, now it's homemade. You throw that in the toaster oven. When I get french fries delivered, I take the french fries,
Starting point is 00:14:46 because they get a little mushy from the steam, turn that toaster oven on, and then I put butter on them when they come out. Put them in the toaster oven, take butter, put it on, and then salt them after that. I've never ever, I'll be honest with you, I think I thought of every fat thing in the world. I've never thought about buttering french fries.
Starting point is 00:15:04 That's crazy. No, listen to me. No, listen, I'm gonna do it and it will be fantastic. Yes. But the concept of butter on... Because the butter, if you put salt on fries when they're delivered, it doesn't stick. It just falls off.
Starting point is 00:15:19 When you toast them up again and get that moisture out and make them crunchy again a little bit, then you put the butter on. Talk to me. When you toast them up again and get that moisture out, and make them crunchy again a little bit, then you put the butter on. Talk to me. Butter. So now, when you put the salt on after that, it has something to stick to.
Starting point is 00:15:32 The salt sticks to the fry now, and it's like, motherfucker. Yeah. Are you teaching your son this? Your son's gonna be 700 pounds in ninth grade. Yeah, no. When you reheat french fries, the oil comes out. You don't reheat them, you toast them. You toast them. It toast them You toast the same thing I'm saying well you put them in a microwave
Starting point is 00:15:47 Or what you when you put them in the toaster oven they just get hot again You don't leave them in there for a lot you leave them in there till they get a little crispy and it kind of takes them Because when you put a lid on pizza or fries The steam moistens them can make some wet you gotta get the wet out So you put them in the toaster oven it gets the the wet out. Drives them up a little bit. Then you put it. Yeah, I'm gonna try to make out with it to some of the music you like.
Starting point is 00:16:08 That'll dry it out. First of all, that song right there is 100% a fuck song. No. 100%. Yes, it is. If you're a caricature of 90s black people doing it, that's who's supposed to fuck to that.
Starting point is 00:16:19 If you're Khadim Hardis and Lisa Bonet having sex in a dorm in a different world. Yeah. Jaleesa and Sinbad getting it on to SWV If you're Khadim Hardis and Lisa Bonet having sex in a dorm in a different world. Yeah. Jaleesa and Sinbad getting it on to SWV makes total sense to me. Yes. But you would look like a fool. No, you would look like a fool. You and Dawn unrhythmically fucking the SWV.
Starting point is 00:16:35 I'm not talking about Dawn. Oh. I'm not fucking Dawn to this sexy music. Oh, okay. She would laugh at me. Anyone who will fuck you will laugh at this. No, no. Oh, right there. Listen to Hahaha. Anyone who will fuck you will laugh at this. No, no.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Oh, right there. Uh, listen to that. That's when we just start kissing. And I might even do a... I might even do a snap. Oh yeah. Right there. Hahaha.
Starting point is 00:16:57 I might do a snap. Mmm. You can't snap in foreplay. Yeah you can. Oh, right there. Watch this. Just see face and pussy and you go... Mmm. Right? Just put your hands up. Mmm, you can oh right there watch it just see face and pussy you go Right, I just put your hands up
Starting point is 00:17:10 Right there Hey, I take it back Bobby Oh God I started to watch that thing by the way you just played a bobby. That's from the Jim Brewers Break spring break house they performed at oh yeah brought the house down Yeah, well I brought the outside of the house the outside of the house down brought the beach down and then awkwardly mr Brewardwered the rest of the time mr.. Brewer. Mr.. Brewer. Do you think this is funny? You know it's funny Jim Brewer was the name when the first time I met Keith Robinson And we were on the plane together and he told me to come sit next to him first thing
Starting point is 00:18:00 I rolled my eyes at like I don't like to talk to people on planes And I don't know and then he was telling me about the New York comedy scene But I'm like, but you're on this black circuit show with me. So what are you talking about this? Yeah, I didn't say it to him But I'm just like didn't seem real to me and he was asking me about comics Whatever Jim Brewer's name came up and he goes and next time I see Jimmy I'm gonna punch him in his face for you saying you like him or something like that And I was like Jimmy he called his face for you saying you like him or something like that. And I was like, Jimmy, call him Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:18:26 And you're just like, okay, all right, mister, whoever you think you are. And he was right about all of it. But I just thought it was so funny that Jim Brewer was my gauge of like, you don't fucking know Jim Brewer and shut up and don't lie to my face like that. I'm loving Jim. I mean, right now, the thing, the video he just,
Starting point is 00:18:44 that someone put out. just the someone was this video We're gonna play before you say that this is big I just believe races should be separated not hurt not not that not that he but look at man Hey, I'm digging Jim right now. I'm loving this fucking this new Jim Brewer I love you dude go boy 2024 and hey write him in on the ballot. He He's talking about when um Dave Chappelle, I guess, uh got visited by them. Who? He doesn't say who, he says them. Where people, they came in the room and had a talk with him
Starting point is 00:19:24 and then that's when Chappelle changed. What was the talk about? He doesn't know what the talk was. But up until then, he was like, Comedy Central, fuck them, and the business, and fucked out, and then he was visited by, they came in, they came in and had a talk with Chappelle and that's when Chappelle Changed and the Chappelle he knew
Starting point is 00:19:49 Didn't come back Someone switched Chappelle's Not I will say I will say physically is what I would think for at one point He was string being thin yeah, and then he came back yoked one day And then he's just been like I mean a thick guy for the rest of the time You can convince me that the current Dave Chappelle is not Dave Chappelle And then he came back yoked one day, and then he's just been like a thick guy for the rest of the time. You can convince me that the current Dave Chappelle is not Dave Chappelle.
Starting point is 00:20:10 It's not the Dave Chappelle that I came to know and love when I was a young man. It's not the Dave Chappelle that I knew from the Boston Comedy Club. It's definitely a different Dave Chappelle. And he was talking about, I believe this is the clip, right? I gave you two clips, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:26 And it was just, it's fucking, here's the thing with this stuff. You can be like, fucking, Jim's crazy. You can say that, that's the easy way out. Or you can... Look, man, that's the lazy guy's way to fucking deal with this. I'm saying, look into it. I'm saying, listen. Listen and learn.
Starting point is 00:20:44 So what's the setup here? Who is it? I only have one gym clip from you. Yeah, it was the only one you sent. It might have been from before. Was this the one about Chappelle? Yeah, but he doesn't really say anything in this clip. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Starting point is 00:20:58 He gets cut off. I mean, where the clip ends. Okay, let me see. No, that's the more recent one. And then I tried to listen to the whole thing Yikes, yeah Who's the guy? Oh This is on Jim's show. Yeah, then I watched him on Roseanne Barr and they didn't really touch it on there So I think it's this show with this guy. I believe it's this show. Maybe I sent you the wrong clip
Starting point is 00:21:20 I apologize, but there's a thing. There's a thing with Jim when he's talking and he's like, listen man, I just wanna let you know that when he went away, he went in that room with them. He was just sitting there and people took him in. But you're saying people like physical human people or you're saying like light beings, like the cocoon people. We don't know who they are. I know who they is Hannah Gatsby huh no
Starting point is 00:21:49 that's they we're talking them that's that that's that is them this that's it this is they that that Hannah Gatsby that is that that's who you're gonna be hanging out with at the next flicks the Gatsby he gonna hang out I guarantee you'll be at the after party shooting the shit. Not only would I not go to an after party at all, unless Christine would have to drag me to something like that, she knows. I don't go to any of the things unless Christine goes.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Come on, and oftentimes I can convince Christine why it's a terrible idea to go. Yeah. But yeah, now there's no, I don't even think Netflix has like after party type shit. I was just joking around. I didn't know you were gonna CSI it joking around, I didn't know you were gonna CSI it.
Starting point is 00:22:26 Well. I didn't know you were gonna fucking go. I don't want you to accuse me of hanging on Hannah Gatsby. All right, well it was just a little joke. Them this. Them this. I'll tell you what, rap music now, I think people are selling more if they come out
Starting point is 00:22:39 and say they're non-binary and stuff. I don't know what's happened to the dudes in rap, but all of them are Marys now. It's fucking crazy. Can you bring up Lil Uzi Verta Coachella? I saw this on World Star Hip Hop today. He's already changed, he's already came out a while back and said he's them they, right?
Starting point is 00:23:00 This is the guy that had, if you remember the news, he had like a diamond in his forehead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that, yeah you remember the news he had like a diamond. Yeah in his forehead Yeah, yeah, I know that yeah, but I thought he was like a wild like little Wayne type thing. I Don't know if he's cut his hair But he got rid of like the he got rid of the dreads that he had and he's like I don't know He's like riding something like a mechanical bull or the way he's sitting at Coachella He's like I got something to tell y'all that a lot of you probably already know and he goes
Starting point is 00:23:23 I love you. And then he just smiles and I'm like, is this guy leaning into being gay now or is it always his energy? I wish I knew more about Lil Uzi Vert. He's from Philly, but the parts of Philly I know weren't gonna be chill with that behavior. Ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Where are these guys coming from? Where are these guys coming from if it's not the hood? Art schools. Art schools. Well, that's if it's not the art schools art schools? Well, that's what it is. No the rappers were the yeah, I mean I mean the guy I don't know how else to say it other than he looks completely gay. I Mean he has your necklace on you want that exact necklace. That's exactly not the dependent but Oh no see I was okay Zach Necklace. Yeah, that's exactly the necklace. Not the dependent, but... Jesus, look at that. Oh no, see... Oh, is this... okay.
Starting point is 00:24:14 God, new rap sucks. Is this rap though, or is this pop gay pop? Yeah. That's what rap is now, gay pop. It's gay pop? Yeah, this is... Thank God the old guys are all fighting with each other again. It's gonna at least get some good music maybe. I mean these guys also just do the auto-tune thing.
Starting point is 00:24:32 Yeah, this is all garbage. Wow, it's a lot of people though that are into this horse shit. Oh, it's Coachella. I mean that's a lot of people into that horse shit. Yeah, that's 85% gay audience and then a couple of executives and their girlfriends. Oh god I like that Chanel belt. He's wearing. Was it a question this guy was gay before I Wow, you know what the things I knew about him. He made an album that was like almost like rock music right Lou You know the things I knew about him he made an album that was like almost like rock music right Lou
Starting point is 00:25:13 He made it that yeah, it's like his albums are like spacey like spacey rock space gay rock space gay rap futuristic kind of rap yeah, but is it a wide known thing this guy's gay or It's gay Gay by I want to say I want you to find the speech almost They gives what he says that he just like it's just so funny I didn't answer Interview he isn't straight and he isn't gay. Yeah, I Hate that too. It's just tell us what the fuck you are
Starting point is 00:25:45 Or don't and just let me keep continuing to know that you are gay Based on that smile and the way you move to your own gay music It's like 72 things you can be nowadays But I think gay straight and bi kind of sum them all up Look at this sentence little Uzi Vert says they aren't gay as it seems like he's talking about other people They pronoun doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it doesn't make sense, because it's not English. It's not proper English. They confirms that, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:26:14 They're making it very hard not to be a Republican. It's fucking, I don't wanna be. I'm a registered Democrat. I'm a Kennedy Democrat, and now I'm like, I'm not calling you fucking that the vat I'm not even I'm not even Democrat, but I'm like, you know be gay and be by and cut your wang off and all that shit I want a civil war. Oh, here you go. Here we go
Starting point is 00:26:39 He's not hiding anymore. It has to be it I just want to see that that guy gets slapped in the street by a green beret Right in the face You're a boy Fucking so sick of this shit. I mean pretty sure the sparkles on his cheeks What about me? Oh God, but What I want to tell you all tonight is I Love y'all
Starting point is 00:27:07 Now I'm pretty sure we are By the way, she didn't see my gift that he was gonna do my my stadium wave Can I just say something to though I'm probably gayer than him what I'm probably gayer than him I've done gayer shit than that guy Bobby I jerked you off through your thin thin pants outside a little bit today, and I'm telling you this guy's that guy's that 22nd speech was gayer than anything we've done. Mmm. Let me take some you probably already know about me I wish you got a little penis is salty. He just moved on Jizz is good for your skin. I
Starting point is 00:27:44 Want to I wish you did I wish you let I wish you'd let me fill up a little more before you touch this. It's fine, I'm gonna tell everybody you have a great penis. No, it's nice. I do have a nice penis. Your mom says you have a nice one. Your mom? Your mom said you have a nice one.
Starting point is 00:28:00 What the fuck? She called in. Oh, all right. Yeah, but she's talking about a kid penis She hasn't seen my but that grows into a beautiful man's penis. Yes. Yeah, but it's nice now She sounded like she knew this weekend. I had two hands on it. That's pretty good. I mean Bing in a Bing Yeah, I like that's nice, but I mean but the bottom of that bottom fist was punching into your fupa. Oh, I was mushing it down. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Like it left, it left like a fist print on your base. I was kneading bread. Yeah, I was pushing it down, yeah. Yeah, laying on your back? Of course, of course. Did you butterfly? Did you butterfly out? Did you do this?
Starting point is 00:28:40 Yeah, no, because I laid flat as I could and put my legs out as much as I could And then I hate in front of you side to side side to side Then I waited a couple minutes because you know let the dough settle of course let the dough settle You have to let gravity do what it do do what it does And then I grabbed it nice nice just for a peek at how you if it was like a two potato dick Oh, no, I was masturbating Oh, I was about to masturbate but I do hands which I well you don't need to do that ever
Starting point is 00:29:09 I grabbed it with two hands just cuz I yeah. Yeah Masturbate with two hands. I get that with two hand masturbation Base maybe you're maybe you're holding the base the base tight and just working helmet for a second But eventually you're going back to one hand. Yeah, I don't have a two-hand masturbation penis I have it I can grab it I can play me you and you win so I'm gonna cap it yeah but wait so the Jim Brewer do we find the longer thing a Jim Breower I think this is what sorry I'm sorry I'm gonna stand through a podcast right now Bobby is this what you were talking about yeah that's it that's it that's it that's it this is a reaction but he's letting it go yeah
Starting point is 00:29:56 this is it this is it she's talking and Roseanne is full in too she's like horse I love Roseanne too she's, it's probably the same spaceship they brought John Goodman to. This is it, this is it. What's the setup here now? So basically Jim was on a Roseanne podcast because she has a podcast now too. Ha ha ha. And uh.
Starting point is 00:30:15 Is that crazy? She was a megastar. I understand, but can you just, you have money. Can you let us podcast? Alright yeah, fuck her. I mean, I'm sick of it. Who's the way the way she was kicked off a network fucking killed off is De Niro gonna have a podcast to him and Al Pacino that'd be great I'm hearing what the fuck yeah I'm just so sick of
Starting point is 00:30:36 these fucking actors you know one time every walking came yeah fucking your Seinfeld gonna do a podcast now I I have a hundred, a ten billion dollars, but I need thirty eight thousand dollars more. Whatever. Go ahead. Or did you just go different ways? No, no, no. We, we, I think different ways, but I'll put something out there that I don't know if he, when we were filming, we were filming a movie and he also had a lot of pressure from HBO
Starting point is 00:31:10 or not HBO, Comedy Central. Comedy Central, the worst bunch of people on earth. Horrid. I love it. He then, while he was on the show, when it was blowing up, and we were, remember the Aspen Comedy Festival and yeah that was fun I did that too he came like and white and he was free is this podcast no more yeah it's exactly it's like I tell you something I saw happening ours
Starting point is 00:31:39 is different because it's in black and white yeah we solved crimes yeah Dave Spelgoff visited by some space people. Ha, ha, ha. Little green man comes out of a ship. I love that she was like, it's such a comic line. Remember the aspect, yeah, I did that. You gotta put your, I did that too. I did that too.
Starting point is 00:31:58 It's the bonfire, everybody, and you're listening to the podcast version, which is free. Half of it's free. You get half the show. Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts? Right. It's like being half jacked off.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Sign up right now at SiriusXM.com slash bonfire to subscribe for the full show. Plus, you get all the music channels. You get Howard Stern. You get all the other comedy channels, sports. And to get our full show, sign up for a SiriusXM subscription at SiriusXM.com slash bonfire. Support our show. Subscribe. He came there and he was freaked.
Starting point is 00:32:36 He was doing half baked. Out. Filming. I said, what's going on? And all I could say is he was visited. Yeah, that's what I think too And when he told me who visits him I stood as my heart stops for a second. He drunk. Yeah. No, you're that That's just the way he talks. That's bruh. Nobody went and when he has the fun visible Go back go back
Starting point is 00:33:01 Maybe I have a point here He was visited. Yeah, that's what I think too. And when he told me who visits him... My heart stops for a second. I'm like... When you told me who visits him, I was like, shut up there, Chappelle. That doesn't happen. Do you guys have a bottle of wine? I wanna kiss you. Roseanne, can I kiss you?
Starting point is 00:33:25 I don't know what's happening, but I'm in love with everybody in this room. I want to kiss you guys so hard in the face. First comment on this is Jim Brewer is so damn awake, and I'm here for it. I mean, I relisted. Dave Chappelle was visited by aliens. Wait.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Who said what? Hang on. Lift weights? It comes. Lift weights. Lift weights, start preaching shit? Do steroids? I was visited by aliens wait who said what? Waits it comes Start preaching shit do steroids open up a comedy club in the middle of the woods in, Ohio Open a comedy club that no matter where you live you have to take two planes to get to And I'll never forget he went you believe me right you believe me Jim right and I could I could he's like they came to me and he said the names I'm like get the ock and what happened and then all of a sudden he went to Africa yeah that's
Starting point is 00:34:20 what I remember happening but they never really said what happened. We threatened they did say Let's say exactly what happened. What was it? People he was getting that he was getting mad on set because he started thinking the jokes were laughing at black people the jokes he wrote He was getting very upset that white people were laughing at the show So we like but who and he's a mental case probably probably. Who is? As we all are, Chappelle. Who visited him, though? Nobody.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Name names, Jim. You can't name names, Christine, you know that. They don't have names, Bjorkzorf. On a podcast? Blip Blap. It was Chevy Chase, Martin Short, and Steve Martin. The three amigos? There's three amigos came to him and said, listen.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Bill Cosby. Yeah. But. What the? I'm not following this. That's because you're not. You're supposed to be aliens or? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Comedy Central execs. What am I missing here? No, he's saying like people like high ups in entertainment came to him, like the Illuminati. I don't know if that's what he's saying. The people. I mean, look, if you look at this business, right, you can kind of tell when they, whoever they are,
Starting point is 00:35:27 pick somebody to be famous. You know what I mean? Look, you've been working for a long time. You're one of the funniest, fastest, most adorable fucking people out there, right? I haven't sold out a comedy club on a weekend in many months. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:35:42 They haven't visited you. You haven't been visited by them yet. They haven't come yet. You haven't been visited by them yet. They haven't come yet. But then there's this... You're proving Bobby's point right now. You believe me, Bob, right? You believe me. They never visited me. You believe me. I believe you.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Jay, you know why I believe you? Because I didn't sell out this last weekend either. Bobby, you believe that no one's ever said to me you're going to be the next next one and paid me as such? Jay, I believe that. You believe me too, right? Bob, I believe you. I'm here.
Starting point is 00:36:13 You're so awake and I'm fucking here for it. Nobody has come to me. No, never been spoken to. Never been pulled away from a situation like, Jay, we gotta talk. But look, I've been at these festivals, and all of a sudden you see these, where, you can almost pick it, like that guy is about to,
Starting point is 00:36:34 you know what I mean? Like that, for whatever reason it is, that dude or that girl is the next something, right? You know the reason now why, it's like social media popularity. Well, I don't know. I've seen it before social media. I've seen it before where they're like,
Starting point is 00:36:51 okay, this is the thing. Well, they'll start investing back before social media was they could start putting them in sitcom, giving them TV pilots and all that kind of shit. So do you think if they came to you right now, if they came to you and was like, they came to you, and was like, listen, you're the one, but you have to, you have to abide by these things, would you do it?
Starting point is 00:37:12 They meaning Lil Uzi Vert? Is Lil Uzi Vert kidding me? He said what? What do I have to do to him to get famous? Kiss my penis, I love you. What are the things? I'm not them. I don't know what they want. What could them be?
Starting point is 00:37:30 Ass shit, Jacob. Always assume it's ass shit to a man. Yeah, dude, you gotta take it. Assume it's ass things happening to guys. Oh. Oh. Oh, no. I remember being in Boston when the movie was happening, when Buddies was gonna go down with them show buddies and
Starting point is 00:37:48 they fired Brewer and then the crop circles Yeah, and then brew it on SNL Brew wound up going SNL after that, but I remember that I mean, you know, I mean? Like, Brewer's, Brewer's. Where's the real David Bell? Brewer's, you know, he goes on stage and fucking says whatever he wants, does his shit. Yeah, I thought it was usually like Go-Boy and stuff. No, he doesn't do Go-Boy anymore. No, not on stage.
Starting point is 00:38:15 But he, he. No, but Jim's comedy was always like silly in impressions. Um, yeah, I mean maybe. Well, he's getting older, I mean, like, it makes sense that he would be doing something different. He's been doing it for a long time. He's been doing it for a long time. He's been doing it for a long time. He's been doing it for a long time. He's been doing it for a long time. He's been doing it for a long time. Not on stage. But he... No, but Jim's comedy was always silly and impressions. Well, he's getting older. I mean, it makes sense that he would be doing
Starting point is 00:38:28 something different. He's been doing it for a long time. But I mean, is it really now like... Is it funny to hear that switch? Goldman did that at one point. Like Gary Goldman, I remember his jokes. I think he still does a lot of silly stuff, which I love. That's what I think he's so good.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Such a good joke writer, Gary. And then for a period of time, he was like, if it wasn't going good, he'd be like, you know, there's two fucking wars going on. Trying to get like aggressive and heady. Gary's self-admitted, though. I mean, his whole special was his Great Depression. The HBO one.
Starting point is 00:39:02 The one where he literally said, I quit comedy for almost two years and went and became a substitute teacher and got shock therapy in the special. He's not like hiding it. He was like, yeah, I went to a mental institution and got shock therapy and became a teacher and quit this business and then came back with that special.
Starting point is 00:39:24 So like people who, I mean, that special to me was fucked and awesome because somebody substitute teaching, he went, dude, he quit the biz. He couldn't do it. He was out. He was out dude. COVID two, no, before COVID two years. Like he, he was gone for two. He went back to Boston and he, I think he lived with his mom and it was a substitute teacher. It's all in his special he talks about. I'm not revealing secrets.
Starting point is 00:39:47 I really feel like you're challenging me that I haven't seen the specials, what's happening. You haven't, you haven't. Jay, this is all covered in the special. This is all covered in the special. It says this, it says that. Everyone watched the special, you watched the special, yeah? You didn't watch the special?
Starting point is 00:40:00 No, I don't watch good comics. He regained his sanity. He what? The one how he, it shows how he went through all of it. He regained his sanity. He what? The one how he, it shows how he went through all of it. He went through all of that. I don't watch any good comedy. I watch Chappelle's. I mean, I've watched Attelle's.
Starting point is 00:40:14 I watched yours. I watched Attelle's. Yours was great. No, no, no, close friends. But I'm never in a rush. Like I definitely haven't seen the last two Bills done, Bill Burr. Have you seen his? So I'm like, I know it's good, it'll be good. Have you seen it? So I got no it's good It's it'll be good. It's always like this. I'm like seeing this friend special that you watch and you like it's not that good. Yes
Starting point is 00:40:30 Have you seen a friend special that you watched? It's not that good. That's close to you now Emotionally no in this room. No I wish I had a lie detector in here right now. No, buddy, we have a lie detector, at least you're just kidding, because it works really good. I will lie detector anything you guys want to lie detector in here.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Anything? Anything. We should get that in here. Do you love Christine? Oh, shit. Do you love her? That's a general question. Please, waste one of them on that.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Are you in love with Christine is the question I would ask. Shit, that's a toughie. I didn't know you were gonna fucking curveball me like that. Have you ever looked at Christine and felt passion? Passionate about what? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Yeah. Yeah. We can. I don't know. I love it. But Brew is doing on stage is fucking great. I love what he's doing. I just like it. But I like when these people start. I mean, Roseanne's in on this too. If you listen to the rest, she's like, yeah, she's in.
Starting point is 00:41:35 She's in. Yeah. They find each other. That's the thing. Yeah. I mean, I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing.
Starting point is 00:41:43 I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I think it's a good thing. I If you listen to the rest of it, she's like, yeah. She's in. Of course. She's in. Yeah, they find each other, that's the thing. Yeah. Oh, Roseanne was so excited when she said that. You think flat earthers spend their whole life talking to people who don't think the earth is flat?
Starting point is 00:41:54 She meant, that's true. They find communities and they go, earth's flat, everybody goes, right? Commerce find people, they? They, them? They, them? I mean, I think what he might be talking about is the industry, the people that make people.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Because back in the day, look at it, they made Marilyn Monroe. They just found her and made her. They made all these people. Stand by, not that hot. Not hot at all. Marilyn Monroe never couldn't give a shit. I mean, if you took Marilyn Monroe right now. She's like lamb chop.
Starting point is 00:42:27 I would go with other people in this room right now than Marilyn Monroe. Wow, other people in this room, not Christine necessarily? I would go with Christine, but I meant to say Christine. I think Christine's hotter. I'd go with like, all right, maybe not Christine, but I would definitely, I'd fucked DJ Lou before that. Oh Thanks, she's not hot if you get a photo of her click on
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yeah, she's made to look hot. She's not hot and her body's dumpy Back then that's how they look at go to the red photo go to the red photo. I think you're right, dude She's a piece of shit and no one said it who else is gonna get it today princess died what a cunt am I right I mean back me up on this princess died was not pretty you think princess died was pretty? not even sort of not even close not even kind of she would have been my mom's ugly friend she's pretty for royalty not anymore they're all inbreds that was she was hot because they're all inbreds what? the royal family the royals.
Starting point is 00:43:26 So when you marry into it, she's considered pretty because she's gonna fuck some guys, like all of his teeth live on the outside of his face. Mm-hmm. Those guys are like, that's fucking. I mean, King Charles is ugly. I mean, back in the day, Hollywood, they used to fucking, I mean, there was definitely them.
Starting point is 00:43:42 Well, the studios are different. By the way, Christine respects the monarchy She's called him King Charles. She's changed. I would have just said Prince Charles again still who gives a fuck I was the king now. I watched the coronation. Oh You watched the coronation not the whole thing. But yes, Christine is the only attached to a man sad old lonely cat lady I mean you're supposed to live with somebody sad old lonely cat lady. I mean you're gone all the time. You're not supposed to live with somebody and be the cat lady. I can't go out and find guys to fuck
Starting point is 00:44:12 and you're not around. Why can't you? I mean I could. Why don't you? Would I shackle you to a fucking furnace? Yeah. No, she did not do it for me Norma Jean. No, she did not do it for me either. She's not that pretty
Starting point is 00:44:26 She's and they were like she fucked all the canine's I'm like, yeah, dude looks like a pass around broad. Yeah You know Norma Norma Jean that town bike Says that they couldn't find her body for like six hours after I've heard that the morticians were banging her dead body. Yeah, I think they were definitely fucking the corpse. That's wild. That's fucking crazy. That's some killed bills thing.
Starting point is 00:44:53 That's actually grotesque and probably not true. How do you know? You've never done it? Well, it was still fresh. It was right away. No, I'd finger it. I would just finger it. You'd flop that old school petroleum jelly on it. Just go in there and be like, what? Here's a little... There's a lot of room in here, Mayor.
Starting point is 00:45:11 I think she's very pretty. I didn't like her volcano titties. The whole thing. Yeah. I mean, Marilyn Monroe is pretty. She's not that pretty. She's not. Is that her butt?
Starting point is 00:45:21 No, is that her? Yeah. The one all the way on the left is the Playboy one. That's the famous one. Let me see that. Can I see that? Can you zoom in on that? It's fine. She's alright. Yeah, she's alright. Here's a little... Body's not her issue either. Body's fucking good. Really good body.
Starting point is 00:45:35 It's just facial... They made her to be the sex symbol. It's just strange. There was like... I think there was even like other movie stars of the time that were probably better. I don't know like when I see them. I which ones who but like Jane Mansfield guys love that dingbat girl back then just that back then I mean, we love it now, but we're not supposed to so it's a love a strong woman with fucking thoughts goals dreams I'd love to just leave. Okay, honey. Bye. Bye See you later. I'll honey, bye-bye.
Starting point is 00:46:05 See you later, I'll have dinner on the stove. Yes. I mean, your wife makes you dinner. Yeah, but she makes it begrudgingly. What are we having? I don't know, I gotta go to the market. All right, good. I'll throw something to get her, you fuck.
Starting point is 00:46:16 She cooks better for the dog now, with the dog sick. Dog gets salmon and rice. The dog doesn't eat chicken cacciatore. The dog eats fucking salmon every day. No expensive salmon is. Yeah, is you don't want salmon every day I like salmon not every day not every day, but some point you want to catch a Tory Yeah, it was together for you if she does but the Christine is not do a catch a Tory. No she doesn't She had a dump jarred sauce in a pan
Starting point is 00:46:40 sauce and parent meat She makes in turkey meat though and she goes, it's Christine's famous meat sauce. And I mean this, do you wanna hear, and Christine will answer this for you. Do you know my favorite thing Christine cooks? My absolute favorite thing she cooks. Of the, and let's be fair, five, six things you cook?
Starting point is 00:47:00 About that, yeah. Five, six things she cooks. My favorite of all of them my spinach dip no that's just mixing ingredients on the back of a fucking packet that's not cooking that's fucking stirring I said make because I thought you're gonna say spinach it because he found out he thought I like had a recipe but it's really just the nor what do you make soup I thought she was a genius I'm like what was this hand?
Starting point is 00:47:25 It's passed down from my friend's mom. What is there? Some Armenian spices I've never heard of in here? She's like, yes, nor packet of soup. Vegetable soup, not spring vegetable. It won't come out right. I am a genius. It is good.
Starting point is 00:47:38 Now, what's my favorite thing you make? Stuffed peppers. You're thinking of the entree as things that I like, but of all that, when you put out stuffed peppers What do you have to make sure you also make garlic bread garlic bread garlic bread isn't a fucking I mean a Retarded person can make garlic right and she does well I forgot to put the garlic salt on the garlic Although I did make garlic bread, I forgot to put the garlic salt on the garlic bread.
Starting point is 00:48:03 Yeah, I did garlic my own bread. It was butter bread. So she made you toast. She made toast. So she can make good toast. And yes, it's not fresh garlic. Okay, she's right. Last time it was not good garlic bread
Starting point is 00:48:14 because it wasn't garlic. I had to garlic it afterwards. Do you have to take your taxes out of the oven? Is that what you use to get your papers? Oh no. She retarded, she's shy. Yeah, she retarded, she's just shy. I grew up working in restaurants, they always cooked for me. But? When she was a server, she wasn't cooking.
Starting point is 00:48:32 I did too. And then she picked up nothing from working in a restaurant. I can chop pretty well. Again. Now she doesn't know what she's chopping for what? Maybe catch Torch's, I'll chop it up, but what are we doing? What am I chopping? I'll chop it up. No, I mean, I mean, yeah, I like Dawn. She's great, but she's not like a, you know, imagine living with that, hey baby. She's not dingy broad. Yeah, like a dingy broad.
Starting point is 00:49:01 You don't want to live with a dingy broad. I wouldn't mind living, you know, having a dingy broad around. to live with a dinghy broad I was I wouldn't mind living you know having a dinghy broad around Oh, you'd get so upset so I want I want a side dinghy rod and I'm it down the street Hang on Christine Bobby's got a point now now. He said it. I was like you don't want a dinghy broad The more I think about a dinghy energy in my house. Oh, it could be not a bad thing You such a man come in she gives you your slippers just that kind of thing and just does a weird She's wearing like booty shorts And she gives you a kiss in Just that kind of thing. And just does a weird, she's wearing like booty shorts and she gives you a kiss in the cheek
Starting point is 00:49:26 and then like runs off to go do whatever like, you know, I don't know, only fencing or something, whatever the fuck she does. Yeah, whatever hobby she has while you're at work. Just a fun hobby. Yeah. And then, yeah. She knit you a sweater but one sleeve is too long.
Starting point is 00:49:39 It sucks but you're like, yeah it's all right you gorgeous dipshit. Yeah, exactly. Go take a bath. Yeah, you put it on every Christmas Honey, you're gonna put my sweater on sure absolutely dumb dumb Let's go. Let's go see your family. Who's my age? I would mind a dinghy broad I
Starting point is 00:49:59 Think you get over it after a while. I don't know unless you just go to that Maybe let's take it back to 50s style though. Like Edith? Separate bedrooms. No, oh you're talking Dick Van Dyke. Separate beds. Separate bedrooms. Oh, you're talking back in the day. I'm talking Rich Voss style.
Starting point is 00:50:17 Yeah. Remember that when they used to sleep? Even on Mary Tyler Moore, on the Dick Van Dyke show, they slept in separate beds Show on television. I know I like that though having two beds next to each other That's fun remember. They would like put there like want to push the beds together, and that would be like Completely separate houses Like a Mormon hear me out how about you move across the country from each other
Starting point is 00:50:47 Yes, Jacob Just a little trivia you brought up Marilyn Monroe before Mm-hmm, I just watched an interview with I just watched an interview with Barbara Eden Who is Jeannie the second the hottest 92 year old you'll ever see in your life. Mm-hmm She said that the hottest 92 year old you'll ever see in your life. She said that John F. Kennedy wanted to fuck her. She was in an airport doing a press run with a bunch of us, she was in her early 20s. And I guess one of JFK's scouts saw her in the airport
Starting point is 00:51:22 and said, you wanna meet the next president of the United States? And they said, sure. And then he started chatting her up. And when she left, she looked in her pocket later and it was JFK's phone number. Nice. She didn't fuck him cause she was already with her husband. I mean, that must have been hard though,
Starting point is 00:51:43 because she's hot as hell. Back then you had- Young Barbara Eden. What phone was that? Like back in the day, there was already with with her husband. I mean what boys been hard though because she's hot as hell back then You know Barbara Eden what phone was that like back in the day? There's one phone in the kitchen Yeah, you know I mean like but I mean he was already senator married senator It was like a that was a phone in like some fun. It's an office. That's again office You couldn't get a cell phone number. It was like a yeah fuck house number, but he she did say the whatever part She was playing was the Marilyn TV part. She was supposed to be a Marilyn type character.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Yeah, but again, what was she on the show? She was a ding bad genie. Yeah, she was a ding hot as hell. Oh, she was so hot. Oh, I love her. Yeah, get a better picture of her as genie and I wanna see, I gotta say. You're gonna pick this apart.
Starting point is 00:52:20 No, no, I'm not gonna pick it apart. I'm saying, I'm coming in saying. Barbara Eden was hot. Yeah, Christine's. I think she's hot. I think she's hotter than Marilyn Monroe. She just is not doing what I'm not gonna pick it apart. I'm saying I'm coming in sorry even was not Yeah, I think she's hot. I think she's hotter than just is not doing what I'm asking at all, but she's uh she was I think Arguably much prettier. Hmm than a Marilyn Monroe. Do they have her and anything other than that stupid genie outfit? No, it's and that's Never mind. I Mean you gotta go type in young Barbara Eaton. Or just a picture that's not a thumbnail, 40 yards from me.
Starting point is 00:52:51 She's all right. That's not Barbara Eaton. I don't like her little vest. But that's not her. That was just a girl in a costume. There she is, right there. That's a good one. Yeah, she's hot, she's got nice.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Cans? Yeah, nice cans hot. She's got nice cans. Yeah nice cans. Oh This is her thing. Yeah, she was gorgeous when she was younger. This is like not young no. Yes, not that young No, it's not old. That's back when men were men probably in her 30s. I know I love that Hey, then you know why she looked like that cuz she knew she'd get hit if she didn't What thanks for a late laugh. Sorry about that. I just had to think about it. Oh, there's more. Come on.
Starting point is 00:53:32 What? That picture? Yeah. No, I don't like that. So weird. That side angle of the Samantha, the width of the back to the tit on that is not a good angle. It's a bad angle. Terrible picture. Bad photographer. Samantha from b Which was not as hot as Jeannie no way Elizabeth Montgomery. No she was not as hot no no no she was like your friend's older sister Though might give you a hj. Yeah Wonder Woman was alright, but she was Carter. She was alright. She had a big gap
Starting point is 00:53:58 In what her chaunch yeah in a chaunch should I thigh gap yeah? She had a big gap. I was never into the big gap Were you a Daisy Dukes guy? Daisy Dukes, she was hot. Now she was hot. That's when we started getting into like, Yeah, we started having like porn girls on TV. Oh yeah. She was hot.
Starting point is 00:54:17 I was also a big fan of Terry on Three's Company, but. Terry, no, she was. Short lived. I didn't like Terry. Wait, is Terry the one with short lives? Terry's a second one You're talking about the bubbly one that was that the dingbat. Yeah, we like dingbats I see Chris no no no no Chrissy was Suzanne Summers not her her replacement
Starting point is 00:54:35 I thought was really oh this tall tall not the third one that the second replay the first replacement Set not the second replacement was the nurse Yeah, I think that was Terry that was to Janet stayed the whole time replacement was the nurse. Yeah, that was Terry. That was to Janet stayed the whole time. Cindy was the other dumbbell. Generally Harrison. Big mouth though. Very big mouth. Yeah, she had a big mouth. She aged rough. Yeah. She looks like the the Arquette brother that killed himself. She looks like a sex slave. She looks trans. Guys, we gotta break. We gotta take a break. Oh, we gotta take a break. Alright.
Starting point is 00:55:07 How many reads? Three, baby. All day? In this hour. Ooh, what? Was that the Illuminati story, Bobby? So he just claimed that... He was visited by something.
Starting point is 00:55:15 I mean, we didn't listen to the end of it, but yes, man. They came and had a talk and said, yo, man, you're the one. You gotta get your shit together. And he did. And he you gotta get your shit together mm-hmm and he did and he did got a shit together Bobby Kelly's gonna be at the verve in Somerville New Jersey this Thursday and at club 330 sorry yes I'm doing that show just for the pizza okay that pizza place the best pizza in the world is there so I'm literally going I'm going there Thursday night they're having two pizzas delivered and then I'm going for pizza and I'm literally going I'm going there Thursday night. They're having two pizzas delivered and then going for pizza
Starting point is 00:55:46 And then I'm only one slice So you can catch Bobby doing comedy eating pizza in Somerville, New Jersey this Thursday April 18th the club 3 3 7 They'll be in that sold out. Okay. He'll be in left they had on Friday April 19th and Saturday April 20th and Boston after that He's gonna be in Boston Sarasota Atlanta for tickets and all tour dates Of course go to Robert Kelly live comm go to punchup live slash Robert Kelly and big J Oakeson is gonna be an American comedy company in San Diego this weekend April 18th through the 20th then Raleigh and San Jose and Los Angeles And we're gonna be in Los Angeles with them at the Comedy Store for Netflix is a joke fest on Friday May 10th For tickets and all other tour dates go to big J comedy comm and please go to our YouTube page go to our podcast
Starting point is 00:56:32 Oh, but follow our individual YouTube and follow everything we do specials and for Christ sakes buy fucking tickets to shows Don't have some white chick with tattoos give me the finger Stop. I don't have some white chick with tattoos giving me the finger. Are we announcing the Skankfest thing? Yeah. You know what I said? Also Skankfest 2024. Vegas attacks. Yuck. What? That's not how you promote Jay.
Starting point is 00:56:56 Themes. I didn't have any say in that theme. I can say your theme stinks. What does that mean? Attacks. Like Mars attacks. Vegas attacks. That's the theme this year. Oh, who thought of it? So we could play on them? Yeah, it's a bad one Skankfest 2024 Vegas attacks the badges are going on sale this Saturday. It doesn't matter what you call it Festivals unbelievable the best and look sometimes you're gonna swing and miss with the name of a festival and they are gonna be there and they Will be there they will be there. They'll be pulling out people to say they will never be in skank fest again
Starting point is 00:57:25 you've made it the badges go on sale this saturday april 20th for twenty at twelve p m eastern time at skank fest dot com not your craze not no no these are going to stay for a second skank fest dot com for your tickets this saturday april twentieth will be right back everybody gets the bonfire

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