The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Socks Off Party (feat. H. Foley & Kevin Ryan)

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley of the "Are You Garbage?" Podcast join The Bonfire & Jay reveals his strange sleeping and threesome habits.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com @BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com@HFoleyOnIce & @KevinRyanComedy @AreYouGarbage https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaPOHjHoCbbnxZLHu9wgRRw

Hey I'm Big J. Okerson and I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. Yeah it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now the Bond Fire with Big J. Okerson and Dan Soder. Welcome back to the Bond Fire on Series XM Faction Talk 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Ocarson. We got guests in the studio. It's officially not COVID anymore. When the RU Garbage Boys are here,

Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, welcome to the Bonfire. They're going to be in San Antonio, September 21st, Houston on September 22nd, and Austin on September 23rd through the 25th, and Fort Worth on the 26th. Go get some Texas. Texas, the RU Garbage boys are there to try it all oh we're doing everything baby sexual and right you guys love in the the road shows it's cool man it's new for it's new for us for sure you know so it's cool so we do like

stand up we each co-head line we'll do like 25. And then we close out the show together, like taking garbage questions from the audience. I thought you guys saw you guys where I think when I was leaving Utah. Why is guys? Do you guys do wise? Where did I go? You guys were there the most. You were the coming somewhere.

You were the night before me at McGubbies. I'm a Gooby's, yeah. Indianapolis Helium. Yes. Thing goes. Nice town. Real nice town. Well, my time outside that club is a powder keg. Wait, I mean, it nice town real nice town. It's like a nighttime outside that club is a powder keg

Wait, I mean, it's just not nothing makes sense Yeah, super like ghetto then it gets hipstery and then like a bar mitzvah and a wedding show up That's so much happening. Have you guys gone to a city yet that you thought was nice and left me like that's a piece of shit city Yeah, wasn't indie it was a... five somewhere uh... in ohio memory we've got a lot of this is a little rough some trashy people here but i've got signs are upside down to find a weird place by the way can i say this is the most pro thing ever

we were in the door you guys are already going to the intros was unbelievable uh... yeah fucking seamless we still got it we still got to, you know, be on the bench for a year. I was trying to get my fat ass in the chair and you're like plug in saying Antonio. I'm trying to get in there. I was waiting. I knew by the time I was done with all the Texas dates you would be settled in your chair. Yeah, these aren't good fat guy chairs at all. Yeah, they're good for the lower lumbar. That's what I think they make up for it. It's always glad to have you guys here because we were first of all, HV. You were in such a funny thing as it got such a research now, manifests. Manifest NBC. Yeah, Netflix now. Yeah, pick it up on the back and now it's going season four on Netflix. Yeah, not involved at all. But that's got in the call.

But that second run on Netflix got it so hyped up You probably got a lot of people go crazy. Yeah, man. It was hitting me up fucking house a security guard How long were you in it? How many seasons? How many seasons? I was there 15 minutes Are you kidding me? No, I did I did two days. I was only I was in two scenes when you were doing it Where you like this fucking show? No, I was gonna give a shit about it. No, I thought it was awesome Yeah, I was like, yeah, it was fucking teamsters. You know, you do like independent stuff, you do this, you do that, but when you're doing fucking a show, it's crazy.

The teamsters are driving you around. There's an omelet truck and all that shit. They don't let you do anything for yourself when you get to, you understand why actors go crazy. Y'all understand? During these little small environments where everything is done for them, they're like veal people.

They're like don't ever fucking touch the ground. They're just like, okay, I want a coffee and someone's like, how do you want your coffee? Yeah, I had somebody talking in my shirt because my shirt kept coming on the... Somebody was an umbrella over me. Nothing makes you feel worse. So then a super hot young chick coming over

to dab sweat off your That's so yeah, it doesn't even feel like wrong. Yeah, that paper that when they dab you when they pull away It shows how greasy you are. Yeah, like you're a burger from when Slice of pepperoni You know what you say that about the about the attractive PAs that was that was like a great day And it was also a bad day I should I can I curse on here? Yeah, I shit in my pants that day. Oh, no I mean not like a little turtle head. I mean full adult man poop in my

What happened? What triggered it because it was well Fucking on what you have Slams three omelets and they all hey, I don't know. We're doing a fake plane crash today Hey guys, where were those hand bits from? I I was in a trailer and they were done with the location that day So they were leaving they were gonna like take the trailers down and I was at the end of the day I got done. I really had to go to the bathroom We were out deep in Long Island at Republic Airport and There was a PA waiting outside for me to get like changed

Yeah, and I really had to poop and I was like I can't fucking dump in here and then just worry take care of seeing later So I held it. Oh, and then I got stuck in traffic on the grand central Oh fine like I fought it off you know how you get the waves of like where yes Yes, you're running to the toilet. You have to stop and you got to do some internal smashing back up your sea legs. Yeah. I'm more confused always by the like the physical what happens when you're sitting it's like right there and you're like I can't make any more than it's awesome when you get like a 10 minute reprieve and in fact. Crazy. If something else forget even exciting that interest did you I've always thought,

if you were on the edge of taking a shit and a beautiful girl was saying, just like, start talking to you for a second, like, hey, one exchange number, you're like, I could do that for a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. I just bought a 90 second window.

Yeah, with the shit from originally. And when a shit walks away, like, it's like, no, no problem here, that's like, there goes running back. My dad gets that, my dad is gonna a thing where he is a window and if he doesn't make a move It just goes away, dude. I had a disappear for like that's two hours To the point where I'm like it's scary. I don't something wrong is Airports and airports that happens to me a lot when I get to the airport I go adding go enough before I left it's that little after shucks coming back and I'll bury it down

I'm going to go adding go enough before I left it's that little after shucks coming back and I'll bury it down Yeah, I don't want to go hot now. I'm sorry. I know people on a plane. Yeah, I mean, I don't I don't think I have I never have I never have I've never have one I've never even considered it really? Oh, I've done it multiple times. She don't a plane. Yeah longer I mean I don't want it to Columbus. mean? I can hold it. If you get up and just he's going to Detroit watch this I'm like I'm saving it the cabin is all small I don't want to be the guy that blocks up the toilet and needs to see pelvic I shit on a I've shit on or in airplane or in airports before us Yeah, sure and not not happily.

It was like, God damn it. It's happening. It's I'm not going to make it to the next flight. Just in front of my memory, the worst shit place to take it I've ever had to do was the seller. It's a tough. Like that little bathroom downstairs in the show room. Yeah, definitely.

I wouldn't even try. I had to. It was like, I was still drinking. And it was one of those ones where it was like it's happening right now Yeah, it's bad at New York comedy club It's tough to because you're right there. Oh, yeah, and I went in all those doors There's people waiting all the time especially if you have to get back on stage I learned my lesson up at up on 24th Street to not to not do it in there when the shows are letting out or whatever, because people are gonna know it's you.

So after like a big Saturday night show, I'm hosting, I went across the street, I go to the pizza place across the street, Mike's. My guys, I'm gonna use the bathroom real quick. I go in there, I'm like, I'll be safe in here. Soon as I get done, fucking come out, there's like five people, and they're like, hey, you were great!

I literally waitin' to go to the bathroom, and they're like, oh, you're like, hi, they're like, oh, I'll have to get hit with it. I told you mine that when I was like, I had to resign myself and that cracker is an Indian apolis, broad ripple green room and realized when I was in there, that it's not just the green room bathroom. There's a door on the other side of the bathroom. It's for like the staff to come in from the kitchen stuff and just how many people touch

that door knob, like trying to open it and you're like, I mean just a lot of you're like, oh, it's just mine and the other two comics are in the showroom. Pits is mine for 20 minutes. My best circumstance I'm going to get. Yeah, Pittsburgh improv, their green room is a bathroom that goes to the green room, but then the door just goes to the showroom. Yeah, so it's just the crowds on the other side of the door and you're like, I took a shit there. You're hearing them right now.

And I was like, and just during the feature you're hitting the laughs, you're like, stop. It's so vulnerable. Also, Pittsburgh improv, for some reason, the when you open the door to the bathroom, it seems like it should just be a straight walk. The drop off.

It's got a crazy, far-step drop off. You're gonna do that asshole step every time. Yeah, you gave everything three inches too high. How do you, oh, sorry, go. No, where do you say? How do you clean a public toilet seat? This is, we've talked about this on the show a lot. How, like, you know, obviously it's not ideal,

but how do you clean it? I put down, I put down, I first I take a toilet paper that doesn't touch my fingers and I go around on the thing and I throw it in there and flush and then I take strips of toilet paper. Yeah, I go, I go two layers, down, down, over, down, down. You do two layers. How do you get, how do you get cheek grips on that?

You can't get cheek grips on that. I was gonna say, Dan, you lying right now to us. No, not at you get? How do you get cheap grips on that you can't get cheap? Oh, I was gonna say Dan You lying right now. No, not at all. I Don't crazy. I don't need a To me I So we're gonna do as best we can I always have wipes. So there'll be the wipes I don't have wife No, no like disinfectant wipes like the ass

We always have them on you. Yeah, when you order In fact, the whites like the ass whites. You do you always have them on you? Yeah, when you order. You should probably start to get a little life hack here. Not a life hack, but it's a little fun piece of knowledge. If you order wipes off Costco, like the Kirkland brand. Yeah, I love Kirkland. Love everything.

You send you, you get the box, you get the box of many things of wipes. Cause they take them on the road. They also give you for some reason, at the top of that box, they give you for free, and it's just like four or five like travel size ones. They're just like, you could throw in like, shoulder bag for the airport, perfect for the airport.

It's like 16 of them in there. I take one of those, wipe down the seat, then I use the other seat, but then I go, raw dog cheeks to see yeah yeah you guys both you've cleaned it clean it once you got you can see guys like that grip on it I need that grip I'm not I'm not sure how often I feel when I stand up with that paper looks like I always get afraid it's gonna stick to the back of my leg that's what I have to do I count them I'm like all

right one two three one in I'm clear I do like a quick leg. That's what I have to do. I count them on like, all right, one, two, three, one, and I'm clear. I do a soft sit down, a cushy sit, I get sweaty in there. I get a cushy sit, I poop, and then what I do is I lean over, pull off that side. Sure. Toilet paper, wipe. Bam. And then stand up. Do you also don't do what you do?

I say, which is a little, I gotta gotta say it's a little slice out of the Lewis playbook, Lewis J. Gomez, but I think I've always sort of done two is I, before I sit down, really try to get a good cheek spread too. Yeah, yeah, almost like the toilet seat itself is pulling my ass. It's hard to say, that's going to work for you. That's what a toilet paper doesn't work.

So there's no sides, yeah, there's no... I want like receiver gloves. Yeah. You're out there and fucking mitts. Just catching everything. Wow. Just fucking pull double-sided, yeah. Then I put down the velcro.

Yeah. Some double-sided duct tape. Are you guys noticing on the road with the popularity of are you garbage? The people are bringing you garbage, shit. Like do people bring you stuff like this is garbage And you're like I wish I would have named this are you fancy stuff? Are you cocaine

Here guys here's my broken video games We get a lot of we get a lot of beer is a lot of IPAs, which is great. We've had a couple of painting sent to us Yeah, that's pretty good. Like bad ones Now the one's not great. We're being on it one's not great It's a really good artist. He must have just been starting out or something like that because there's one with me in Kevin And then there's a dude in the middle an old scary man who like don't know who who looks like the dad from uh... what chop the chopper show oh yeah

let's go chop our yes orange county chopper my big call big call but it's not it's supposed to be robin leech from but he has like i he is like a handlebar mustache that leads right into two candles that's pretty

that's pretty cool we can know we left it in the back and we didn't know it was in the shop for the we recorded and everything who the fuck is that picture we said paintings i thought you're saying paintings that would make you because i if that came up on the show ever like there's something about i used to always think christine had a roommate who really cared a lot about his fucking boat pic you know paintings like those just like stormy seas. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was like, is that? The trashiest one is if you have a picture of your, of you have a painting of your family. I mean, is that so? Unless you, unless you, unless your family's worth like $10 million, but like if you're doing it and you're in an upside, you're in a reverse mortgage, it's a big one.

Unless it's hanging at the wing of a hospital, you just don't eat. Unless you're living room with your. It's a bad one. Yeah, it was a time at the wing of a hospital. You just don't It was in your living room with your with your electric Fireplace below it. I'm gonna fight a family picture of the keytons from the beginning of family times Dad, dude, I would love a painting of my family I love an oil painting of my mom sitting down and looking like looking off to the left or whatever. Yeah, I look They have a regal Dan from my house. I would love it hands over the back of a chair. You dad a few steps behind I would have it as a ghost corner. You just have to be like a ghostly president. Oh, yeah the side

Yeah, you just see that his mustache Didn't that loud? Do you have people on the podcast yet who think they aren't garbage and then they talk to you guys and they kind of have that Moment of like clarity by the end. Yeah, we've had a good amount of people to come in there Like we're pretty bulletproof, but now we find the thing is that like people are like when we're probably like Hey, you're pretty classy at the end. They're like no, I fucked my best friend sister like they like They want to become garbage. They just start like spilling all this stuff like nah you're that's so funny Yeah, my dad love me my mom was always there emotionally

It's like well you had a good childhood. Oh, yeah. Well, that's why I blew up my teacher's car It's always like a hell-mary pass to try to be garbage. I go. What if I told you I killed the kid? That changed your mind. You guys are gonna have to edit your podcast now. He goes how I murdered a boy and I watched him fall on the lake and I didn't help him You Jason Voorhees the kid I mean I have to assume DJ Lou would fail the test none of us making through their test. No none of us do but we gotta have Jay on still No, none of us do. We got to have Jay on still you have it. You have a Jay on that's you know what that's a pay-per-view event. I mean, the show is the show is bill for you. You guys are like we got to get Jay on you guys book

this smart you guys got some big fights in early. They were her saving shredder for the end. I blown away every day for sweep sweep. I've blown away everybody was yesterday I'm Legion of Skanks. I said I was talking about my new in hotels. I don't want to get the hotel messed up because they don't clean him anymore. So I sleep above the sheets. Yeah, that's crazy. But then I told you very recently,

I've discovered sleeping with no socks on is such a game changer. For the first time ever. Why do you even sleep with your socks on? For life. Psycho pad. What else do you say? What the fuck?

To be by the way, guys, guys, we're not here to judge this past. We're here to congratulate us. That life psycho. What the fuck? By the way, guys, guys, we're not the other judges past. We're here to congratulate you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're on Vovoloss for Jay. Jay, you can do it. Now you can kick your little feet and feel the soft sheets. And how great is it?

Move the piggies around. That's the best part. Oh my god. Go get those. They're sleeping on the football helmet. By the way, Nate, I think Nate Bargatsy still sleeps in saw. I got so crazy

Yeah, he has a bit about it. Yeah, by the way last night I went under there so excited It might be ruined for me and then Christine starts bringing her bony toes over to touch my toes I realized that's the whole thing I hate and I jumped out of the bed three times and I had to I had to breathe and let our feet touch under This she's had to really go and let our feet touch under this sheet. I didn't really go. Yeah. Seriously, try to stop. You have a weird foot thing?

I don't know. I love when Katie's feet are all cold and mine are hot. And I start kicking her feet from the, I won't let her. I won't let her put her feet under mine. I always have to cause my feet under her. It's rough. It's real rough. So I only allow her feet to touch the top of my

feet. Oh, Christine's got John McLean die hard one feet. Like she walked across glass and fire. Come to bed. We'll have a little foots. Oh, when Christine will do, she's like trying to be cute at night. Like she'll have her legs across me while we're like watching TV or something. And then she'll take her feet and like I feel like the roughness on my shirt it's like it's like it's like catching it's a catching and moot yeah yeah yeah yeah and I'm like I don't like it. Oh she's my feet you're 80 grit. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you gotta get a pedicure girl come on you gotta break out the the shaper. Yeah get smooth sailing just smooth sailing dude. She's got California features on barefoot her whole life. She's gonna walk on hot sand and not feel like that.

Yeah, you're right. She got beach feet. She got beach feet. She's got beach foot. Yeah, she's hearing those. She must have walked on Facebook cross my shirt. Yeah, you can get over it. I don't know if you're here, but you feel the sound. You feel the vibration. Yeah, yeah, I don't know you're here, but you feel the sound you feel the vibration Just wait you just catching Just catching fibers I slept without your socks on your whole life. That's insane one question to what also you sleep Are you sleeping in like sweat pants and a t-shirt or basketball shorts tank top, but Here's

Winter coat That's what you tank top Full Iverson sleeve. That's the reason. But that's headband. That is under Timberland. Winter coat. I'm under a triple fat goose.

Yeah, I'm fat. No, so it's usually that. Or sometimes it's that. I got a North Face zipped all the way up. Sometimes it's underwear. That's crazy, man. Underwear and tank top. But recently on the road have been enjoying.

So now what I'll do is I won't get under the bed completely because it bucks the whole thing up. Again, they make beds and hotels now. It's like seven sheets. It's not like, I don't understand what the logic also is by sleeping above the sheets in the hotel because you don't want them to have to clean it or you don't want to be in dirty, you think the sheets are dirty? I'd rather not.

I'd rather not. It's pure laziness of like I want the room clean on that guy. Uh-huh. But they're not doing cleaning. Cleaning service in the rooms anymore. Like why you're there? No, they won't do it while you're staying. Yeah, because of COVID.

Yeah, no, no, I got it. So I sleep on top of the covers so that I don't have to make the, but I can't, I'll never make the bed like that again. Yeah, but you have to make the bed. Why do't have to make the, but I can't, I'll never make the bed like that again. Yeah, but you're basically, what's all, why do you have to make the bed? Oh, I won't just leave the bed on me the whole time. Question. Wait, what? Dan Soder, friend, yes?

Love or confident? You know how many people fuck on the top of those sheets. Yeah, they're not switching those, those top sheets don't always get switched out. Yeah, I'm not that, I'm not sucking them guys. I'm just sleeping on Blanket over topi I guess What's your blanket over topi then Nothing I but here's a thing real vampire

What I've doing what I've been doing lately is pulling at a little corner. Oh you And getting Your little cat about naked and getting there and oh that chilly little Yeah, dude. I told you that was the reason I saw Shane's dick because when he was featuring for me We like we drove somewhere. He sleeps naked with you. Dude, I think we have got naked on the floor of my, he had to sleep in my hotel,

and he locked himself out of his place he was staying. Sure. And Florida and something in my hotel. And I think he slept naked. He sleeps naked? Dude, he got right in my hotel. So what do you do? We were sharing a hotel for the gig for the weekend.

There's a couple of years ago, and he's like, I'm gonna take a naked nap. And he was like, I was like, all right, dude, because there's like a Thursday we got to show. And he got naked and he had a towel and he was like, oh, and he thought he was holding it lower than it was, but it's just his dick showing. And he's like, oh, oh, there's bigger that noise.

And I was like, I see your dick. He's like, oh, fuck. And he's like, drop that. He's like, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. But he would get under the bed. I remember the last time I worked Tempe in Prove, I did Albuquerque Tucson in Phoenix and like three nights. So the Sunday night show was in Tempe and we got, we drove up from Tucson and he got in the hotel and he got naked. He got like the bed and he like took it under

the sheets and he was like, naked, nah, man, dude. Shane loves the naked nap. That's bonkos. It is I mean a committed Naked East committee. Another guy in the room That's not when I said about the thing on the rope Christine was like I know I'd love to sleep naked with you Sleep naked at home right? I can't something so she's gonna see me then You guys have been together for fucking a long time. Yeah, she doesn't know it's time You guys have been together for fucking a long time. Yeah, she doesn't know. It's time. I see you make it almost every day.

No, I know. I'm making a whole thing too. Some of the angerly kick the bedroom door shut when I see you're looking at me. Do you think you're gonna... You didn't hear. Loathing's not right. Close your eyes. Loathing, putting on my salves and creams. I have to side kick the door when I see you.

I go, what are you looking at? I see where you're looking. You piece of shit. This is only for touching, not for looking. You're looking at it. see where you're looking you piece of shit. This is only for touching not for looking The shows up here mama You can do that. Do you get naked and have a nice naked nap with Christine? I won't like it. Why? What is it? Is it the intimacy? I like the way it feels sure because it does feel cool. I'll be consumed with the way it looks

Get that out of your head, dude. Yeah, you know what I'm trying. I know, I know what you're talking about. I've worked, I'm kind of the same way. I, listen, I cannot, yeah, I don't like Christine. Like, and then you know. She doesn't need anything by it. I hate when Christine cuddles me and just spends a whole bunch

of writing the arc of my gut. I'm like, I've eaten past that. I know exactly what you're at. I just pushed right through it. I pushed right through it. Now I'm just like, Jabba, you're like, rub me bitch. No one even thinks about it, but what was the biggie small's video? There's the first thing he was so brand new. Oh, his big pop is fucking fat. Titch is hanging off the side. He wakes up. Juicy. Juicy or big pop? There's a big pop is fucking fat that hits just hanging off the side is wakes up juicy juicy or big pop is big pop is there's one reason arms open and there's rubbin is chest and his belly. I don't have that. I

don't have with my what like my wife I I don't have it. I've been batting around going full Rick Ross crazy men of stomachs that's it's like a piece of art that like I Rick Ross crazy men of stomach tattoos. Yeah, I don't really. Because then you scratch it. It's like a piece of art that that guy Rick Ross never has a shirt on his head. He's obese. Listen to me right now. Yes. Go full Yakuza.

Go full. No, just a whole body chest piece. I'm going to do a mishmash of other rappers bad tattoos. I'm going to get thug life. I'm going to get a bunch of six nines, like Takashi six nines. Maybe Louis Vuitton design. Yeah. Just like a LoS.

Like a mural in South Philly. Yeah, are you guys happy with like, if you would have gotten your success 10 years ago, do you think you would have just blown it? Yeah, I don't know. I'm happy, I mean it took us a while, you know. We went from like absolutely nothing to like finally traction and it's like quickly happening So it's like it is weird to I don't know. Yes, just even this I'm like this is our job

We're just coming in to do the fucking bonfire on a And you're currently trying to blow it now. Yeah All right. Yeah, I'm having a real hard time with that like accepting that What we always knew you guys is very funny comics from Philly. And then it was like a no-brainer when you guys started doing the podcast. We were like, yeah, we know Kevin and H. Foley. And then it was cool to watch it take off and become like, because I remember, like when you guys just stepped on Lewis's head and jumped out of it.

No, no, no, don't bring that back up. I like it. Don't bring that back up. You just walked into gas. Digital took the kitchen sink and got the fuck that Took a piss and Ralph and say Is that true? We love you Lewis You guys are gonna text them her drone the Vonfire. So yeah, I was gonna try it. It's taking energy change real quick

I spoke to our new segment called random Andy Jay hit him with some rant random Andy Cohen Let's give you a little random Andy. These books have been in the studio for years that we've been in and we haven't realized the read them. Jay, it was snowing to which walka seemed indifferent. I interviewed Pink at the Billboard Awards launching. Tamron Hall was on stage before me interviewing Janelle Monet. And she said that she had emailed Prince

to find out what he thought of Janelle. And then she put her phone and read the email to Janelle. So when I was on stage with Pink, I texted Madonna to see what she thought of Pink and I just got a text back. Then I picked up my phone and fake red, never fucking text me again. It was pretty funny. I actually do have Madonna's cell phone number, but she's too much of an idol to me to fuck it up by over texting if you know what I mean.

Damn, dude, that was a good random Andy. Yeah. That was a great random Andy. Am I going this by the way? It's in parentheses. Yeah. I love the smirks that you give to, like your interpretation of it's fantastic. I always seems like that's how we wrote it.

Yeah. That kind of voice. Jake hits as we would call the tone. Yeah. Perfect. the tone. Yeah, perfectly. Yeah, perfect male bitch Got that bitchy energy dog don't get in your way The last one for you guys came in was a flagels with Sarah Jessica Parker SJP. Yeah, she's known what's a flagel a flat bagel What are they called be allies? Is that what they call also? I believe they are called be allies. Yeah Flagels more of like a that's a fun. It's rich bitch shit. I waited on her once

Yeah, no she had a killing run She was fucking awesome. Yeah, everything you wanted one it wanted did she that of a troll that fucking horse face Did I remember Kurt when the trough that fucking horse face. Did I remember Kurt when Sex and the City of the movie came out, Kurt Metzger had a joke or he was like, I didn't see the new Sex and the City would happen. Did she marry that horse? Or did it make Mary that horse? It was a big Mary that horse?

Yeah. Christine, do you have questions now since you waited on Sir Jessica Parker? No questions. No questions. What kind of person did she have? What, did you pick? He picked. Yeah. Sex and the City's very sexy. She was so cool. She was everything you'd think she was polite. She made eye contact with you.

She was very sweet because that's how I judge celebrities eye contact. Just just be in it. Did she let you try on her lubaton shoes? Did you just sit down and dish it to her? I have to talk to you. SGP. Let's sit down. There's so many of the boys I want to run through on section listening goes here's your tea. Now let's spill some tea. Move over. The other girls coming. I am the leanies ready for them. Was she with just all your hair red and told you're Miranda now. I'm Miranda. I am the Miranda now. I am a random now. Are you was she was she a good tipper?

Don't think she paid the other guy paid all right Brotteric there no he wasn't around. Oh Do you finish her food somebody else? He's known for finishing fame as people's food the way I don't eat it I cut shit all the time because I ate food of people's plates. Ew, those ends. That is weird. Yes, it's extremely disgusting. You sleep with fucking snow boots on. What are you talking about? Not anymore. Don't judge him on his past as Mr. Soder said.

By the way, just to you know, every night, when I'm before I get in the bed, I yell at the words, socks off party. And I pull them both off by the tutsies and just let them go. Oh yeah, well you should start doing what's the best part of my getting the bed with the socks on. Yeah, take them off with your feet.

Yeah, that's what you do. You feel a back with a big toe. And you slide in and then take them off. Jay, but they're going to be, they're going to be in the sheets. And so what? So you're taking out the morning. This guy's going to go. I can't trust.

I don't get to make the bed enough to be able to make sure that's not gonna be socks made right now Man, I'll tell you right now. This is a little kinds of garbage out of a bed. Christine's made. There's been all kinds of shit in there This is getting my sleep dick hard, but Taking a long nap under a blanket with socks on in the winter and then around the end of the nap You know you're gonna fucking hit about 20 more. Just fucking rip them off at your own feet. And then you just feel that blunt. It's like waking up on a Saturday with your alarm and realizing there's no school.

Oh, can't get a condom off right before you come. Yeah, we're telling her it's still on it. Well, Christine, what's the psychology of why you don't sleep naked because I'm not naked? It's just weird to sleep naked. I mean, every once in a while I do. You're like touching clothes when you're naked. It feels weird.

She feels your raincoat rubbing through her. Yeah. She goes, Jay Slickers again. Yeah. She's like, she'll make sure she's like a fisherman. Yeah. Is this Peabak cod? I'm like, it's daycron.

It's daycron. It's daycron. Dude, I got a girl. I've told the story of the mom for a while before, but I dated a girl that bullied me into sleeping naked. And we were like, we were drunk, and she would get very certain when we were drunk. She was very nice before, but she would get drunk and just talk shit. And we were drunk, and we had sex, and I was like, all right, well, we're like going ready to know what's the bathroom.

I came back and I put my underwear on. Just my underwear. That's my underwear on just my underwear I'm sure that's fair boxers box of briefs cool laid down in bed. It was like that. She goes, what are you doing? And I was like I'm Sleeping in my underwear. Yeah, she's like I thought we're gonna fuck again in the morning Yeah, that's what I said, but I'll sleep in my underwear and I'll pull it off only of sex and she's like no sleep naked and I'll pull it off only of sex, and she's like, no, sleep naked. And I was like, I want to. Yeah.

And I don't know. And she went, why won't you sleep? She kept saying why won't you sleep naked? And I went, because soft dicks are silly, and you shouldn't have to see it. And then finally I knew the only way out. And she was like, why won't you sleep naked? I was like, because I have a messy asshole. Yeah, that's another thing that people don't think about.

Okay. The back half is great. She was like, okay, okay. And because I was naked at this point, and I go, that people don't think about. Okay, the back half is great. She was like, okay, okay, because I was naked at this point, and I go, because I have a messy asshole, and she was like, all right, and then he's pulled my underwear on. Well, I'm telling you, when I did it,

as soon as I come, if I can ride that com, like a slip-in-side into back-end-to-close thing, slide your pants. Yeah. I'm so surprised you don't fuck more through the zip. My dick's not fucking all the way. It's not going down yet. That's like that.

All of a sudden I try to get pants. Yeah. Jump into your jeans with your jeans, but my basketball shorts. Yeah, there is an acceptance to it. You have to know, especially if it's a new situation, they're going to be taking a peak while you're sleeping. And it ain't going to be a good look.

Yeah. But, I mean, you already, you know, she gonna be a good look. Yeah, yeah, but I mean you already You know she walked on the lot she bought you know what I mean? Yeah, I know but there's still something like exactly just the wrong peak at the wrong time Would you ever go skinny dipping with Christine? Probably here's the thing I'm surprised by that answer. I thought you were gonna say a hard- listen you can't I guess put you in your sleeping and naked and she gets up to go to the bathroom Seven bazillion times so I was a Flippin flop and PIP right but that's I'm saying what she's gonna see when she comes back listen

I've seen Christine crazy positions when I've come back from the bathroom, but I don't judge her the way she would judge me Christine would you judge I would not judge I've been begging from the bathroom, but I don't judge her the way she would judge me. This is boring. Is that true, Christina, would you judge? I would not judge. I've been begging this guy to get naked with me for years. Yeah, dude, what if you just do it? Well, I'm doing it with that guy. Oh, you're a man. I find like being a pool with you.

And when I find that piece of shit, I'm gonna ice it. I'm begging this guy, let me just be like, let me just be like, I'm gonna be like, well, I'm gonna pool with him. I always like going out his back and hugging him because he has his shirt off in the pool

Yeah, skin to skin but you know when you when you bone It's more fun for me though. I've I fucked naked They said that's so aggressive. I fuck naked. I don't know. I fucked naked. Oh, okay as many times my life as it's been I'll give two pushbacks and then I just Me and Christina if you hooked up with girls historically, where they've been like, could you please? And I'll be like, I don't wanna slow this down. So yeah, let's just go.

But then I'm aware of that the entire time. Do you make a noise when you take your shirt off? Do you go, oh no, I try to, no, I'm more like I try to throw a firecracker across the room, so we look so over there. They're like, flashbang. there Oh my god guys breaking in Do Christine knows me so well what I worry about if we hook up with a girl when I'm taking my sweatshirt off She know holds my tank top down because she knows I don't want my tank top to ride up. What's he talking about?

He's he fucks in a tank top. No, you have three sums. You do we have yes You're a socks on to sleep guy Above the covers in a hotel and a three-some guy. You do? We have. Yes. You're a socks on to sleep guy above the covers in a hotel and a three-sum guy. Oh yeah. Jesus. Guys, Zags and Zags. Yeah, just when you think you get a read on it. It bounces around. Sometimes I say stuff that I think for sure is going to get me crushed by him and then it ends up being a mutual thing. Like we both barely wash our hands after we pee in their ports. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, but I thought, but I thought just with Jay and the cleanliness of his household, I thought saying that I barely washed my hands when I pee was going to get me murdered.

But it ends up being more similar. Yeah, wait, with those, are you full naked? Does everybody get naked and then you guys start hooking up? Or is this my favorite? Oh, this is my favorite. It's fun to, it's fun to the RU garbage boys. How are you guys? Just first off, I believe that that first of all let me tell you how Jay is this This makes me warm my heart knowing this about my friend when they're having three sims

So a lot of times Christine. She's the point man. She's doing the grunt work She's well because we both being Christine neither of us are particularly aggressive sure in a situation So when it all lines up and we get, especially now you've removed booze from it, Christine has been tracking years now. Sober three sums. Man, damn. So it was a little, so the greets are bright.

The degree of difficulty on that's winning at Pittsburgh on a Sunday night. I'm socks all over my whole body. I can't help but winning nuts. So. Yeah that's crazy. Christine and the girl have to start. First thing's first, if it starts.

How do you get to a three-semin after a cup of coffee? I don't know. You're all jiggery. Yeah, hey, do you want to take a rest? Get some flagels and get out of here, huh? Do you get what I tell you? If we start in a living room, it's funny because I'll be in the odd chair, not on the couch.

So like, you know, lady sure And then I'll be the best part is when they start but we'll hold before they start But Jay does while they're on the couch talking. This is my favorite Jay will go and like fill the ice trays and like do House stuff Don't buy me over here Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice I just go over here Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice I just go over here Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in ice I just go over here I just go over here Fill in ice Fill in ice Fill in don't mind me. I'll just go over here. Fill it out. I'll send you a sweet smell, swiffer juice. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm saying, Jay's just swiffering the fucking kitchen. So then, oh, we have a windex here. Oh, you guys are eating pussy. Oh, yeah. Tortif. And I, yeah, I'm milling around. They start.

They start rolling around. Milling around is the best thing. I'm mill around so they start He's trying to make a French maven man, so then after making out then I'll sit there and chair like watch Which is kind of weird and then when I realize it's like I don't know loom. Yeah, I go Let me go start getting the area ready for things that I'll go in the bedroom Put on them, you on the music choice TV thing. And there you go. Has this is all been established, right? You're not doing this on a whim. You know.

No, we are not seducers. This is, this is, this is, this is going to keep over. Pre-contract assigned. So you're not setting up the bedroom prematurely. No. This is happening. Now I isn't turn on the round bed until we come

on to that design. But this is what Dan's favorite part is. It's like when rich guys go on so far to kill like a zebra. It's like lor-them half. James, the scene are getting a drug deadline. They're not, they're not, they're not, they're not street cats out there. Yeah, James, they're not, they're the bow and arrow chasing down the head of the pride. Now, now, no, I'm not. But, and this is what Dan's favorite part is. I love this. I sit here, so then I get the day.

Outside of him filling, always knowing that during three sims he has full ice trays. He's taking me in a two to three hours. Hey, I'm gonna have some ice cold lemonade. Hey, you want a cold drink after a three-second? Oh, I don't know. I don't even drink in one game. It's like I'll take some ice tea on the rocks after I just

took a double bead. Hey, you know what? I'm up to figure out some other busy. Now that't even drink it warm. It's like I'll take some iced tea on the rocks after I just took a double bead. I'm up to figure out some other busy with it. Now that we have that washer and dryer, I'm gonna throw a load of laundry. I'm gonna throw a nice maker now. Nothing like when Christine's neckin' with a girl, you get the whites done. Yeah. Hey, Christine, I hit dinner up, but uh, did I put the bleach in the second slot? You're lookin' for a missing sock behind the couch. You guys wouldn't mind. Do you guys mind getting the dishes in the second, the second slot. You're looking for a missing sock behind the cap.

You guys wouldn't mind. If you guys wouldn't mind. Do you mind getting the dishes in the kitchen? Oh, I've straightened up. I've wiped things down, but I'll say I get the bed ready. And the music in the lighting right. Do a quick, shared off where no one can see. Get the tank tucked back down.

Take the warm-ups off, maybe get it out. I'm not going to be in just underwear at that point. Probably stuff like whatever pants I was wearing, or I've done a quick switch to basketball shorts. Nice. And then clean basketball shorts? Yes. And then the girls will begin on the bed and then I will until I find my way to jump in.

I will just do that. Like I just lay with my burr Reynolds. Like just like, yeah, yeah, the burr Reynolds. Be our little I'll do the burr Reynolds like this and I'll just watch and then I just see a thing. I'll be like, but touch. Boob squeeze and then like a maybe like, and wait and one of them at some point one of them hopefully we'll show them when start making out with me and then I'll be like where are we at now we're in I'm really loud yeah that's good move yeah I like that Jay stays there like an art credit and the best part is laying like this and then being like do my favorite

do my favorite do my favorite do my favorite do my favorite do my favorite do you guys look at that my favorite visual of that is J in a hoodie Lang on the side like that and then the other girl goes can you take off the hoodie? Oh, yeah Do I take enough that Legion is gangster I picture like waiting in like double Dutch like you stand up in the road. So when it starts getting down the next grid. That's what was Christine left the room one time with a girl that we were

hookin' up with a bunch and she goes, God, why is the pressure always on me to start? Like you guys start and then she went to the bathroom and came back in the room and went, I hate it What she came back right in the room she goes I hate it yeah There are the you guys starts fine with me. So when the activity actually really starts you keep the tank top on Yeah, it only once only one time I can remember a girl was like Come on and I was like I'm not slowing it all down for this. I always, I had heard her say earlier in the day

that she hated guys weaving their shirts on during sex, just randomly. I was thinking, what the babes? She's so wiggin'. Well, see if she learns to love it. She's really learns to love it. Take a shot right now. That's fucking awesome.

Yeah, dude, I, the busy work really makes me laugh. That's so funny. That's so funny. I'm doing guys feet. Weeeeee! Yeah, dude, I the busy work really makes me Guys feet I'm telling you if there's things like bus at the Dyson wall If there was like empty glasses because everybody had someone drink or something I'll take out gather the glasses up. Maybe bring both Just something just but you know I'm still there like and I go and I'll just make little noises where I go through the room like I forgot some I'm like oh I'll go and like something goes with the bed and then I'll be like I will do the bed. I'm like

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