The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The Lewdness of Midtown Manhattan (w/ Jenny Heaton & Jim Florentine)

Episode Date: December 3, 2018

Black Lou breaks down the holiday with his family & after a power lunch with Comedy Central executives Big Jay and Dan invite their lunch server on the show & she tells us about the lewd things offered to her being a midtown waitress. Then, we find out that Jim Florentine used to pull off the look of Big Jay's dreams.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Hey, I'm Big J.O. Persoon. And I'm Dan Sutter, and you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8pm on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire SXM Black lose thanksgiving looked like to get down so much fun

A bunch of dusty old white people Lou how many times does somebody say over the course of the day? There's a song I met your mama to They don't make them like they used to oh That's any pedigrass right now. Oh, it is a song Ia-b? That 10-a-pennagrasse right now. Oh, this is song I met you. Mama too. Is this your wife's first black Thanksgiving? Wait, there's two bucks. No, she's had family like with my Thanksgiving with my immediate family. Would your immediate family? This is the whole family. This was, wait, Lou. There was another white person. Yeah, she'd look kind of lost. No, no, no, no, no, because of Shana. She's very light skin. Uh-huh. Oh, I thought you hired a

I thought you hired white help that I'm in grade But I like the DJ I love the DJ. Yeah, did I love the DJ in by the way getting setting the mood it was a clearly a mood setting It just looks so much more fun than just this fucking old white people being like yeah, that would have been great I knew for your Thanksgiving. Uh, where was this at? Why is every woman in your family like a different level of Marina Franklin's career? So braids face or Bobby Brown haircut? Uh, where was this at? Uh, playing field New Jersey. Okay. Ants, uncles, who's house? Uh, cousins. We just don't know how many people total were there. I would say

3540. That's a fucking big Thanksgiving. It was huge. It was Who's house? Ah, cousins. We just go like cousins. How many people total were there? I would say 35, 40? That's a fucking big Thanksgiving. Yeah, it was huge. It was buffet style. Or a bit just from the hair shop. Yeah. But you can't, I mean, Christmas part, are my family's Christmas party where Irish we pack them in at about 25 and it's a lot of people.

So 35 on a Thanksgiving. Everyone brought a boiled something. How much time tummy turkeys? Just one turkey. One turkey because we had, I believe there was a whole fried chicken. Was it a fried chicken hole? Yeah. It was one turkey, but was it a jivester?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ah. Ah.

We do have a one. We have a ton of boy. If it's not fun, it's not the bonfire. That's what we've been saying for years. Yes, Turkey. So you know, Thanksgiving was really fun. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun.

Your wife meeting that many family members is daunting. Yeah, because it was more than the wedding. Yeah, it was more than the wedding. It was like a different set of, you know what I mean? Yeah. It was the extended family. I had a girlfriend meet on my family at a Christmas a Christmas party and she was like that was a lot I had to do it in waves because you're like this is Mackenzie and James How many times is your wife meets somebody and they introduced themselves and their kid and they went and this is little man

This right here little man she did ask at one point if they were gonna turn the music down during dinner That's so fucking great. I little man. She did ask at one point if they were going to turn the music down during dinner. That's so fucking great. I like that she did it. I like that she whited it up. I'm sorry. I would, Clarissa, I would love to hear your story. I can't hear the Tootsie Rolls-2 out of my ear. Is this the wine you people drink?

Is this cool later wine? They go. Because I have a sugar thing. Is there sugar? There's sugar. There's probably sugar. Black losing honey assumed there's sugar. I just want to ask, who made it?

Do you guys, who made it from constant trait? Do you guys, could we put on, was it frozen in the can? Could we put on some software music to eat too? I feel like I can't digest to this Did she when she asked that where you like margarine? Do you have margarine? Is any of this not fried? Is there any Nutella here? Yeah? Is there Nutella? I love Nutella. It did you use Panko for the breading? This is Cranko. Oh, Panko in here this year. Now Panko locked up. I said Panko locked up. Okay. So what the one

13th. It just blew when I take a bite, my chest bounce. I think I'm gonna throw up. It goes locked. It goes locked up. Wait. So she really did ask if you could turn the music down? Well, yeah, or if it was going to be turned down.

Oh, that's the, that's the white way to do it. It will be turned down. You know, is it gonna be like this? I just want to know is the whole meal can be like she kept asking everyone over the course tonight She kept going there but it goes is it possible to speak to a manager? It's a possible to speak I'm sorry. It was great to meet you. It's a possible to speak to a manager Supervisor Give a supervisor around here. I hope your wife worked your family a letter The service was a boring the music was way too loud

But overall a fun Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Cowboys beat the redskins always beat the redskins. She unfortunately though She didn't make it to the other side of the table like I was trying to explain to her All right, no one she had to run through she had to run through dicks like low five coming through a fucking football tunnel Bring it home So she didn't make it she didn't make it all the way around the table No, I was like you got to be a little you got to be a little assertive She got boxed out a little bit. Yeah, this is why girls coming for the cranberry. Heep out Well, wife didn't make it to the other side of the table of the wedding either

My parents will not have this band play during the entire meal. Do they have to play this song these tired time We're doing our vows juice juice Fun day of the bonfire activities long fun day. I got to I came in early to the office Because I was just in the city and I got to watch them come in from a meeting. Yeah, from a comedy meeting Eight nope. Oh Jacob's not in here. God damn it Jacob walks right in the office and he goes I bombed I don't know it happened. It just went bad But then we went to Del Frisco's is a family we did

Comedy Central took us out to a very fancy lunch. Very fancy. We had a good meal, but, but, most importantly, we made a new friend. We did. We made a new friend of the bonfire. Are we both sitting here in our heads thinking, what do you call this position there?

No, sir. You call, sir. I don't know why it sounds weird. Christine and I did time in the biz. I think everyone else has worked a little bit, but Christine and I met waiting tables at Dos Caminos, third avenue. and joining us from Delphris goes our server this afternoon more importantly V.O. artist actress and there was something else black Lou singer yeah singer Singer it is our lovely lovely new friend Jenny he took he done he done

He don't sounds like a transformer. I was trying to tell you just now like he He didn't do you have guys come in and just get fucking hammered during the day? Yeah, yeah, and they hit on you the most no Really no, what's the most inappropriate offer you've got? Is anyone just ever just a flat out? Oh, it's just, it's like straight out. Asked to buy me for the night. What? Really?

Straight. Dinner shift or lunch shift, because it was, dinner, it was, and it was, Did you at least have to field what the number was gonna be? And it was, yeah, you know what I mean? It wasn't like a fun negotiation like that, no. What's it, it was it, He was gonna name a price and it was gonna be a take or leave. You don't think there was anywhere to go, Jason? No, it was going to name a price and it was going to be a take or leave.

You don't think there was anywhere to go. It was just it's so glued. It's just can you describe to us what he what was he like? Was he he was he just drank a lot of wine. It was a wine party. Oh, long sleeve button downshared over a pro jam t-shirt.

No Russian. Oh, you might think he's Russian because he's bald you know when when I grew up you could buy people he's there to think here no he's trying to be cool I don't know he didn't say yeah I don't not delicious I love the America yeah I don't want to be creepy was he just like you've never been with man like me like that kind of energy? No, I can show you basement of bingo hole you ever been to bright and beach You want to wake up right early tomorrow by matching truck suit?

I hope you like a d this sweet It's all I wait You still have to serve this guy Well, that's actually true and not true. Like, if I don't feel like I can handle it, my managers do actually swoop right in handle it. And they like they will boot you in a hot second. Do you have a code word? Yeah, like rodeo rodeo. No, rodeo.

Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Rosky. Ros Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rus Rusky Rusky Rusky Rusky Rus Rusky Rusky Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus Rus What's from when you did it? And it was like, Sun, we don't have fun. But just like the complete and utter, like, dehumanization. No, no, I knew that he was like dehumanizing me and I didn't, I didn't, I gave a fuck, but I didn't really because I was more impressed with how he came at it.

Like he deserved it and I was lucky for him to say it to me. And it was like, I was just like, wow, you really believe what you're doing is not wrong at all. Oh, he's telling me the truth. I could like, I could step back from it and be like, okay, you just don't know, but I don't want you here to- Would it have eased the blow if you threw a number, though, that would have made you go, wow, all right.

So that's how much you think I'm worth? No no that wouldn't have eased it no matter what no matter what number? What's your number? Shit, I mean here's not well for me. Come on You can say numbers to me that'll but I'll offend you. I'm sure I got 30 bucks in a lot of tickets for Jay I'm giving sure I scratch off but it's got to be the scratch off the game like the bingo or the and I choose I don't want to just find out if I win or lose I want to experience something it's hard to say for a guy such a different game for sure But I mean if some guy was saying literally I have a million dollars for the night you I'm not saying you take it no matter

What I can see being insulted by the dehumanist I'm not arguing that I'm just saying on pure curiosity would you not be curious to know the number? He's gonna For numbers You did not prepare to take $17 and That hurts way more So not even for 24 55 because 44 there was a 24 55 is 44 there was a

222 which one oh god damn it But you said we have what were the numbers if you don't mind does asking there was five grand once five grand There was five grand for a night once was was was what kind of guy was that another drunk Russian another wine teeth Russian No, he was a Business man, but not from this country was a businessman, but not from this country. In the world of prostitution, that's Turkish. Oh, Christine hates the Turks. Yeah, she's Armenian.

Don't bring it up. The T word, we don't say that. In the world of prostitution, no five thousand dollars. I say in the world of like the fairy tale of it, that someone's gonna come off for like a hundred thousands of dollars for one night with somebody. Yeah. Five thousand dollars is like Elliott Spitzer level high end prostitution money.

Yeah. Beyond it by a couple grand, I think. So that's actually a not insulting offer financially for that guy being a wrong piece of shit who offered it in the first place. Right. You know what I'm saying? Five thousand dollars was him going like, oh no, this is going to cost me. I think that was like that was a cost me. I am a businessman.

I'm a book of cash. Business. Yeah, that's a whole environment for that. Because I didn't know what the offers normally are. So, I mean, to me, that did seem high. As an actor, would you do nudity on film at all? I have. Because I'm casting a thing.

You honest to go you say you have tell us the thing so Jacob go ruin it later. Serious XM 95 on Big Jover's nest and soda joining us. Of course Jim Florentine, but in the hair metal era, the only thing I wanted to do the way her so bad was a half top, and I was always just too fat to put up. I'd step brothers who were just super thin, and we were like a half top, with like a buttoned down shirt over it,

and just be so awesome, and I just couldn't pull, there was no way I'd even have tried to pull that up. But what's the most like, did you get into the glam of feminine dress at all? Yeah, well, I never did the half top, but I did the scruff, the Kip Winger scruff. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because Kip Winger had the scruff on his face,

and he just went crazy, so I just grew like the scruff, so I had it on a little time. So you would do that? You would do the manicured five o'clock shadows. You'd keep it pretty warm. Yeah, yeah. Was that like a thing where you're going out? Or like let me length up my fucking phone?

I never had it like that, but I'm like, this is what's working out. They went crazy over him when he came out. So I used that for like at least two and a half years. That was like, it's so funny to watch. Like as a guy, you watch women go to another guy and you go, what is he doing? Is there anything I can do that he's doing?

You know, just like that, he comes out and you just, you know, it's funny. I never even put that together. Kip Winger may have been the only guy that time who pulled the beard. Everything else was being very soft and almost like feminine faced. Yeah.

Everybody, even like the Tesla and those guys, it was all like, smooth, smooth. I mean, super smooth. Not even like some makeup too, so my makeup too. You know, they wore that too, most of the guys, yeah, no one had any scruff, but Winger came out with that and that was it. It's like, took that look.

Nice. Mark slaughter looked almost like a woman. Yeah, Mark slaughter was almost beautiful like a lady and then young Sebastian Bach such a heavy Accessories era. I know I miss that. I do that's what I wish I would have been more go-forward at the time about was wearing more Accessories. That's a heavy accessory. I want earrings so bad. My mom would let me get earrings for the longest time Yeah I just said the two wearings in the left ear and then you know stretch pants accessories. Yeah, that's a heavy accessory. I want earrings so bad. My mom would let me get earrings for the longest time. Yeah. I just said the two wearings in the left ear and then, you know, stretch pants

were in for a little bit. How, at what point did you, like, going and getting comfortable wearing stretch pants? When you got out of that phase where you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, exactly. I remember my friends I had long blonde hair and it's one comic goes.

You look like Peter Frampton in a wetsuit. I was always in 20s. Yeah, so whatever they did they did whatever Bon Jovi was doing or winger or whatever. Did you do the stretch pants into cowboy boots? Yeah, and then tucked in the cowboy boots. Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah, that's like a fucking issue. I used to draw you. And I was a kid.

I used to draw that guy. I was like, you were in all my football drives. I wanted to be it so bad. You know my grandma's house to this day and see me dry drew, I drew this guy. Yeah. Beltz, Beltz, Norton, Loops, just hanging. Yeah, I was a big hit in Jersey and Pennsylvania with that luck. Dude, hell yeah, probably.

And it lasted longer, like, you know, because it lasted in the like 93, 94 in Pennsylvania, because they were always like, middle of it was always like three, four years behind. So my first start doing comedy, I was doing all these shitty fire houses and VFW alls in the middle of Pennsylvania. And I kept that look way past, you know, Cobain was already out. Yeah, grunge, and I was still working that look.

I'm like, I'm still, I milked it until I finally got it. I gotta cut it. Because they were women that saw you, they were like, this guy commits, they saw you in that look, and they're like, the natural progression though for the hair, glam, like look of that when grunge came around was to just Scott's staff it. You know, I mean, it was just cut the hair a little.

Yeah, exactly. The end of rock star, the Mark Wahlberg thing that's loosely on Judas Priests, I guess, we're just to put on the sweater and does a cosy set. Yeah, he just like, now it's like the no more bangs you grow it all the same length the best That's the natural progression to slowly more fat of it then just doing a straight You know metallic a fuel and just going like I'm changing it all did you change it all overnight? No, I did it slowly, you know what bun Joe be cut his hair and I'm like I got it now You know, I mean then the coal bank came out so I just cut it one length

Yeah, it used to be really long. You said, but down to here. Jesus, how long is my shoulders? When you're doing shows back then, how long is the prep before the show? Not too much, man. It was just like, you know, it's not. It's the bottle and air spray.

Not even air spray, a little jello, whatever like that. And natural curls, girls would go crazy over like, I pay a bifurnd ad, I'm like, I would love to see Florentine just coming out, fucking. Shaking it. That's why I always said I always lived at home because mom always had the good condition. Because when I moved out, I was using this shit,

my hair looked like shit. So I was just always goin' her hair, her shower takin' her lips. That's your weekend, mom's comin' out glistening. I'm tellin' ya, man, that's why I got so much days time in the beginning. Me and Norton would open for like Voss and Bob Levy and these other comics are already around headline

and because they love Norton because he was creepy. And they're just gonna believe a human being was like that. And then they like, because I had long hair, so like girls would come up to me after the show. I wanna talk to me so that you'd bring us both on the road all the time. So just hot girls would be like, how do you do it?

I remember, because I had like seven minutes and I would bomb and I'd open the show and then Voss would go up there and kill for like an hour and a half and then I have like four girls talking me after the show and Vos would be like, did you see his set? Yeah, did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did?

Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did?

Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? Did you just see what I did? on the road was you guys were all hanging out in LA, I think it was. Yeah. And then when he called to speak to Norton, you went to the phone and said he was like, fucking a fat chicken addressing room or something like that. He said it was like something like he loved it, Norton, which is tagging some awful big

woman from Victoria's Secret. Oh yeah, yeah. We went shopping with him. And some girl was a big dice fan. And she's like, come on in the dressing room. She was getting changed. It was like the half door. Yeah.

And he's like, no, my friend will go in there. And he's like, what I want you is because let my friend go in there. He's going through a tough time It's like okay, and then he's got a disgusting Because he did it. He was like I'll take this guy on the road. Yeah, that's got yeah, then he loved him He's like I like this guy's creep. You got the gig. Yeah, that's got to be fucking crazy just like Watching the boss that's hilarious. He's like how the hell did you get those girls? Fores getting furious. It damn long hair. Vos was a lines guy though. Vos had the lines I remember when he was single boss. It was just the phenomenal

He just be yeah, I mean he's like cold talk him and just like throw about he had like five or six lines He said every time but I buy you a house. Yeah, can I buy your house? Can we just go make out real quick? Just 10 minutes out in the parking lot. And she'd have girlfriends. Can you just hang for 10 minutes? I just want to make out with your friend. That's it.

I'm just going to make out with that. We are destiny. All right. Just 10 minutes. Girl, I'm going to take a walk. I'm going to sell some CDs. We'll make out. It was amazing.

Yeah. It's got a man out with me and got me for 10 bucks for one of them god him CD. Yeah, he said I used to have a material was different than I just saw he said no. He said it. It all goes to him He's got a roller. His kids are hungry, but he knows what time it is. Yeah, yeah, that's fucking crazy It's just weird to think what comedy is now in 2018 and it's like if you want to meet a girl She comes to a show and then like I don't stay around. I don't drink. So if like there's like a DM You know what I mean? Like there's it's more behind closed doors whereas I think it the rose a derosa is I don't think the roses fucked when he was younger. I don't think he fucked before dawn ever

Like he hangs in there till life 30. They're kicking you out of a bar. And he's still there next to you, he goes, you want to walk you back? And he's like, I guess you're going to back, but we're not fucking. When he gets there, it's the sun's coming up. He goes, guys, come in and piss real quick.

Like, he was just the guy just wrote it out to the end. He got a lot of, he's banged a lot of hot chicks. And this isn't girls who were like, oh, like he took advantage of me, everything. He just does, this is the wearing down. He just grinds it out until like late night. I mean, plenty of times it doesn't work, but like he just sometimes it does. They're like, yeah, get in here.

I'll take some. Come on in. I'll get some dick before I go to bed. I go. Yeah, if you can put the time in, you know, when you're younger, I just did a girl did co-co a time when she bring chicks home. And I wasn't doing coke and it's like 6.30 in the morning. They're babbling at the table. I'm like, it's just really worth chicks home and I wasn't doing coke and it's like 6.30 in the morning that I babble in at the table.

I'm like, it's really worth it. I can't hang in there anymore. I would just pull, like, look, I'm gonna go in the other room. I'm just gonna go lay down. No, no, because they want you involved. I'm like, no, I'm just gonna watch sports at it. You guys are fine. Just go talk and then they would eventually come in the room.

Like, I feel bad. We'll leave them by themselves. And then they come in, yeah. Yeah, they would come in, but I'm like, I can't hang anymore. Even though I had two hot chicks, I'm like, I just can't. It's 6.30. That's, it's extorting.

That's what stopping drinking did for me. But on a way, like midnight, I'm like, get me the fuck out of here. What's so funny is being- It needs to drink just through the night. Right. I can hang with coke people, because I'd just be getting fucking hammered.

Yeah. And then eventually I was like, I gotta get out of this. This sucks when I quit drinking. Me and Christine both not being coke or drinking. They all really anymore. That is the funniest. Another thing that's funny to see Christine have to deal with is me and her together figuring out how do you get the girl, like how do you get from living room to bedroom. Like that weird transition, we're like so you want to check out and hear. The two most skittish people in the world,

nobody knows how to do anything. I like do we know, are we gonna, I never mind, you think I'm ugly. Here the two most skittish people in the world Never mind you think I'm ugly You know it's times Christine's been making out of the girl and I started straightening up things in that Oh, cuz I don't know what to do. I just are like move something over here, and I'm like get that there I think like I take like the decorative pillows off the bed for I'll be preparing everything right on what to do You know let me turn on the humidifier I mean my spice rack here. I get bed and I lay with like I lay in like this position like this. So let's uh What's up? Yeah, I don't know. There's no there's no smooth way to do it as a comment If your mind is genuinely a comic you can't take yourself seriously enough to like really try to pull a sexy move

No, you know, you gotta you gotta keep an air of like funny about it. Yeah, and you gotta, if you're the guy, you gotta wait for your orders to join in. You can't just go over and start grabbing. So just hang in the periphery and just kinda hang out. That's why I said I'd go in the other room and just gonna watch sports center.

So if you guys, that's fine. I couldn't hear that conversation over it. It's like a space shuttle launch or like there's clouds going. But especially if it's a repeat, there is still no thing. It's like two girls going at it. And then I just like, I put a hand on a butt. I really just, I really just, I released this go. I put a hand on a butt and then a hand on a boo.

But I'm like, uh huh. Rex was a co-head. I mean, that's got, she was in a, yeah, co-head. So did she fuck up situation? Is this too mean, that's God. She was a, yeah, co-head. So did she fuck up situations? Is this too much yac? No, she was super hot. So she'd always find the one. I remember, another girl, I was on like a second day

when we went to some dance club. We took Molly and this couple was on the dance floor. And this chick looked like Pam Anderson or a prime. That's Jay's number one. And my, my was just starting to dance. And then she started, and they started dancing together and some dude comes over and goes, hey, is that your girl? I go, yeah, yeah, we're just on a date or whatever you go say, yeah, we're swingers.

So I'm like, oh, really goes, yeah, this goes, you know, my wife definitely likes your, your chick, we should go back to our place. It was right here, Manhattan. He's like, they've done it a million times before. Yeah. Like they saw her dance in mine and then she'd be right over. Yeah, they're pro. So we pulled in their, park and garage,

because no, you park right here, a special spot. You know what I mean? Because he knows. Yeah, he was not talking about it. Yeah, and he was all fucked up, I'm like, Molly. So his wife was so hot. I was like a nine and three quarters on a scale of one to 10. And we're both just, you know, fucking around,

but you know, fucking, and he came in like two seconds. Because my chick was so hot too, and he was all fucked up But and he couldn't get it up again So I had both of them for like an hour and a half and he sat at the corner to bed miserable Really miserable cuz I was fucking his wife so hard. I'm like this I'm never gonna get a chance to fuck this girl this so hot And he couldn't get a fat guy. Hey, I he couldn't exactly

Yeah, you're like I'm in the name I'm gonna a Mexican tackle! Ha! And then he's just like, come on. He's gonna be the fucking key in the car engine. He's going, come on. Hey, me, me, me, me, me, me. He was overthinking it and he couldn't get it up.

Hey, it's Big J. Ogrison, and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 p.m. Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bonfire at SexM. podcast.