The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - The "Truman Show" Lives of Teenagers Today (w/ Bo Burnham & Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: October 15, 2018

Ari Shaffir joins the show and discusses Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown posse trying to drop kick Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit during a performance & comedian, and now feature film director, Bo Burnham ta...lks about his movie “Eighth Grade” and the “Truman Show” lives that teenagers are living in the world today. 

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. O. Kersin. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio, Sirius XM95, or on demand on the Sirius XM app. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM.
Starting point is 00:00:24 We had a great, as a couple, a lovely weekend. We didn't fight. Very much at all. Uh, fucked plenty. And now I've got Dickburn. Dickburn. And in grown hair and a nick from shaving. But I, yeah, my dick is in the infirmary. Oh man, you two, you two some road rash, huh? Slathered in Neo Spspawn right now also Shaved my is your dick burnt like macho and outsiders shape my thick and balls Shoulder like oh, yeah, it's patchy. No, not at all. But I nick myself shaving now. I find myself Jacob back
Starting point is 00:00:59 The up one is please as a man in his 40s Shaft dick hairs. Now did I get in the 40s, shaft dick hairs. No, did I get in the 30s, bud? Yeah. Like almost near the head. Yeah, it took some off on before we were. Like a Billy Goat beard, rose under your dick head. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:14 My dick has fucking neck hair. Yeah. Nicks might, I, but I think my dick neck today too. I couldn't imagine. I could imagine. I couldn't imagine. I couldn't imagine how many women in the world have not acknowledged and just no one's ever said to me before but that you holding my dick and looking at long hairs I don't see in their under
Starting point is 00:01:36 They're on the underside you gotta take them off. I got to hold my head and I bick it. Oh see did you that's crazy? I fucking electric Well, I'd say it's not crazy except for the fact that I nick my dick today. So I dick. I nick my dick. Scissors, huh? Scissors. How old are you? How old are you? You pull a comb at a bar beside her.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I pull it two. I was like, ah, you are good. No, I pull it top and then snips. What? You're even stubble, though. Yeah, I mean, I can knock him out before you. You're right down the base. At least the electric buzzer.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Ween, just take it right on. That your buzzer's weird, though, too. Still smooth smooth baby. Yeah, I mean, the ones that grow up, the top are just kind of an extension of the bush. I'm talking about in the middle of the, where I please get me to go away. I just, you guys are gonna make me down.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Well, so I just don't have it. I wanna see what's, what's it like? You do have just a smooth shaft. I never look down there. You never look at your deck. Did you grow up in your power lines or something? Yeah. I know what it feels like. I watched down there. I'm gonna, I'll, I'll, I'll look down there. You never look at your did you grew up your power lines or something? I know what it feels like I washed down there. I'm gonna like to expect it out Well, you go all off you'll inspect it inspect it go take a piss on the break and look at your I pulled it up never shaped trimmed once it's taking all my strength not to feel down there right now
Starting point is 00:02:40 But I'll check it out during the break. No, listen. You got to grab your dickhead low Pull it stretch it and look underneath. You probably have some hairs. Dude, shaft hairs. Come back and tell us about your dick hairs. Shaft hairs are completely normal and healthy thing. All right, guys. But you know what I did.
Starting point is 00:02:57 So I shaved today, got rid of those hairs and the base of my dick and balls. Oh, yeah. And then I felt either I have a raging tomb or an ingrown hair. Oh, yeah. I went to the doctor right where my dick meets the base of the top. No!
Starting point is 00:03:15 You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. So it's like a crease all-mo, not a crease, but like, you know, a joint area there. And joints definitely not the right word either. Yeah. But where it meets, it's right in there and... Converging points.
Starting point is 00:03:27 So there's that, so I, Christine's got these wipes, let's say, actually she has a cream that normally you put on for ingrown hair stuff, empty. Was there, but empty, another gripe. Why would you leave it there, completely bone dry empty? But there's wipes that are for ingrown hairs. And I fresh out of shaving, big shaving my dick balls, a base of my dick underneath. I just, it's like an acne wipe, you know, it looks like. And I slather this thing all over the ingrown, not slather, but I wipe it all over the ingrown hair and balls and everything.
Starting point is 00:04:05 It's got to be, look at the ingredients, Christine, pure alcohol. Oh yeah, you home alone your balls. Oh, yeah dude, I know a teatrio oil one, because I thought that would work for an ingrown hair or something. Teatrio, do not put teatrio on your balls. It removed a layer of skin from my balls. Oh that's crazy. It burned for an hour and then the next two weeks, like peeled a layer of skin from my balls. Oh, that's crazy. It burned for an hour and then the next two weeks
Starting point is 00:04:27 like peeled a layer. There was a microderm abrasion my balls. That's fresh skin you're getting down there then. You suck my balls, you're only getting a few year old skin. Yeah, that's brand new ball skin. That's fresh off, that's fresh grown. Oh, Christine just heard my secret, she's always a compliment, she was making your ball skins.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Very likely. Because once a year. Once a year J.O.C. and sheds his bowl skin Yeah, the dick burn though fuck dick burn woof That was sore. I have this the neo-spawn did it was fine. Okay. I think I'm back in the game tomorrow But today I am right now just greased up with neo sporns and salves and creams on my deck. You're on the I. You're on the I. Are. Hello. Can I tell you what I use and what made? Yeah, I know it's always cocoa butter. There's everything's cocoa butter. I know. I do a lot of
Starting point is 00:05:22 man's gaping to and I get ingrown hairs because I'm black so my hair is coarsing curly. Sure. Yeah, you are. Shick Hydro Silk, trim style razor is something that I learned from a lot of the white girls that I used to hook up with. It's got the buzzer on the top and it has a five blade razor on the bottom and it has these things on the sides that will actually guide the electric buzzer.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Yes. And the shower too. So it vibrates and that little buzzer at the top doesn't really get close enough to cause in grown hairs, but enough to that if someone sucking your dick they're not going to feel hair. Hair. Or hair or anything like that. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:53 That shit right there is the best. Well you see how much commercials were in the closet? Nine dollars. Tell me your brother. Nine bucks to be hurt. You want your, you know what I'm saying? Is it a re, is it batteries or recharge? Yes it's batteries. You can put new batteries in it. I believe it's triple or double-a nine that seems like and you do it in the shower
Starting point is 00:06:10 Yeah, do it in the shower. You can do it before the shower. All right. It's not a bad. There's smooth I'm bad thing to look into there that that man's gaping tool right there is a beast and you've used it Oh plenty for like at least five six years. I mean, so is this four men? No, for what? I don't give a shit though, as long as it does a job right. Make it for a man. It's very blue. Make it for your man.
Starting point is 00:06:30 I've done a lot of weird shaving with Christine's razors over mine sometimes. Just Christine, know that she's fighting it out for the first time. You guys shave my asshole with one of her ones. I think it's the one that she puts under her legs. No, you know what it is? It's a wider, it's got many more blades than mine.
Starting point is 00:06:44 So if I have a big, I mean, if it for like my neck or something got it because like You don't have to be very precise. Yeah, and you can swing away with it. It's great On the show, you know, you love them are you sure fear yeah a sober October or should fear how you feeling y'all fucking feel like a fucking Oh, can I curse on this. Oh, yeah I feel like Joe list. I feel a wedding He just want to go dance You just yeah, uh something that I thought we were gonna talk about yesterday and it's from surprise we didn't get to was One of the members of insane clown posse
Starting point is 00:07:22 Yeah, he really uh He's a bad fighter, but he's a great wrestler. What he did was pure wrestling in execution. Yes. I don't think it was the thing, but Shaggy Toodope, the skinny guy from insane clown posse,
Starting point is 00:07:37 while Fred Durst was on stage the Rock Allegiance, I think it's called, Tor. Rock Allegiance. Ssshh. Limb Biscit was playing. Limp isgit, by the way. I'll say it a hundred times over on Ship Rocked. It's great.
Starting point is 00:07:51 They love it. I even wanted to kind of be like, yeah, Limp isgit. But I wasn't even like that going into it. I was like, I get some supposed to hate this more, but I'm like, I'll see Limp is. I never saw him before. Can I ask you a question to another band that might, like if you saw maybe like a third eye blind,
Starting point is 00:08:07 or like a sugar ray. Let's say you were on a boat and you're like, now I'm gonna see sugar ray. And then they put on a hell of a performance. Would you walk away at the same being like? I would never know, because I would try gay sex for the first time before I went to a sugar ray.
Starting point is 00:08:19 It's real, if a man was like suck my dick in the basement of it. It's the same difference, why am I beating around the bush? I'm gonna go to a sugar ray concert, my eyes will just get have sex with a man. Oh man. I'll top. I'll be the top Do you think yeah that the music makes gay sex easier? Oh, dude Don't you feel it listen listen to your but hold just like relaxing. It goes Relaxing
Starting point is 00:08:41 Did it find the wrinkles around your but hole right now are all completely smooth. If I was getting kissed on the neck. Haha, are you inside me already? I don't know. And we're in. It's like a riding a bike, you go. All right, Jay, I think I'm ready. I think I'm ready for you to put it in. It goes, it's been in for five minutes, man.
Starting point is 00:08:59 I go, what? And then I just go, wee! Yeah, yeah. I go, hey, champ, what if I told you it's been in for the past five minutes Why don't you go try this but Why don't you fucking jump off and run alongside it for a little bit Jump off the downhill then run back to it and then jump back on it. Did you stop?
Starting point is 00:09:20 I don't know did I or did I always have the sandwich Did you stop? I don't know, did I? Or did I always have the sandwich? PAH! Right back in. And I went, no! No! Okay. Put the song back on for the beginning, because I tell you what, I was not. I was not loose on that one. Sugar Ray is gay sex loop.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Music gay sex loop is fucking awesome. If there's any natural lubrication, as someone say, to anal, that's what makes that juices flow. Yeah. Sugar Ray music make your asshole gush We were just talking about ICP and what a lumbus get beef so oh there's a beef there Well, they tried to join play it for our real quick if you can Christine if you want if you want to look Is that like the thing? I have like a garbage cup to see who's the laymist of all? Yeah, I watch them try to drop kick them No, which one is this that's Fred Durst And then here comes the guy from ICP boom missed Give him the side view the side view is actually more fair
Starting point is 00:10:13 So watch him come out and you're gonna watch him run out What miss I Security did a terrible job. I mean security's on pretty fast, but not after the head kick that he met the thro item I like Fred Durr's whole thing. Yeah, and we got to talk like Fred Durr's I'm gonna do all my drive-through orders like Fred Durr's. I want to get a wapper Geez to all the people on the grill Then I want you to go back and hope the lettuce
Starting point is 00:10:48 I want the people give me a shake I'm like that way of talking Throw in the next burger and wrap that shit up Get into the original chicken sandwich No fries Are you guys getting ready for Florence and the machine by... I'm going to get this kid I am I am, this is going to be playing in my head J's going to Florence and the machine in I am I am this is gonna be playing in my head
Starting point is 00:11:05 J's going to for it's in the machine in a dirty diaper She put cover if she puts a L.V. cover I love to play this sometimes you feel like you just want to break stuff Oh, we're in this in together. She doesn't mash up over. Where are we sitting? I'll start a marsh pit Do you spill so much white wine hell? Yes Where are we sitting? I'll start a mosh pit Do you spill so much white wine? Hell yeah My shibblee My shibblee
Starting point is 00:11:28 I don't know, did you look up the seats Christine? We got floor or seats Are they garbage? I don't know, it's getting the mother fucking pit. There are other people in the backstay, you know. I'm a lovely friend of mine, Mr. Frederick Ders. Frederick? Bo Burnham joining us. His movie, 8th grade, out now, on available Blu-ray DVD.
Starting point is 00:12:02 On demand? On demand. Not gonna lie, you haven't seen it but I'm very excited to see a good copy of it and eighth grade was possibly one of the worst years of my life and I've heard that if you had a tough eighth grade year this is the movie to say yeah whatever black luches wash it loved it love the day would you took him back to a appreciate man thank you I have a point the girl you don't have to talk about it I talk about all the time you
Starting point is 00:12:21 guys no no I'm sure I have question more about working with young people like that. We, for the most part, got like actual real kids from the middle school that we filmed at from the, like, there's a pool party seeing half of the kids swim at that pool on weekends. So like, their monsters in their own way, you know, which is that they're actually normal and they don't give a fuck about being in a movie
Starting point is 00:12:40 because they kill themselves all the time. We had to tour a bunch of middle schools and high schools to scout the thing to get locations. When we go through the middle schools, and it would be like, it'd be like, like Dennis Rodman, North Korea, or something. You know what I mean? I felt like very bad, just like people like coming out to me
Starting point is 00:12:54 and just like touching my clothes and things. It was all very, very sweet. It was like the Ewoks, like going to the land of the Ewoks. And then we stepped into our first high school, step into it, and I and I heard hey Bo Burnham I'm funny to you little bitch Down the hall we were like we're in high school. It was like actually incredibly thrilling like and working with middle schoolers Was very fun working with the high schoolers was terrifying like like 2018's high schoolers looking you feel like the biggest
Starting point is 00:13:21 Fucking look I'm looking at like my like a dearest pumps that I have on. I'm like, I'm the biggest fucking toll in the world. How much in the high schools were you? We were there only a few days. Okay. So you were getting out and you're like, last day, among these monsters. Yeah, it was, but it was beautiful
Starting point is 00:13:36 because it was like, we felt like the story we were telling in there, which is that like high school is terrifying from an outsider from either end. If you're coming from, if you're looking back or looking forward, it's horrifying. And they're just, they're so self-possessed now. They're just, they just are cooler than they've ever been. Because of Instagram, they have like hints. No, they're just like really, really literate socially in a very quick way that you're not
Starting point is 00:13:59 in on. And like, things are so old, so quick for kids now that like the amount of out of touch you are is just exponentially bigger than it would have been like, you know, 80s kids relating to 90s kids. It's like 2012s kids relating to now are out of our job. I'm a 2001 now. I'm just gone. Yeah, you're just out there. My daughter has a choose she used to have crushes on vine celebrities. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:27 And so when her mom will say something about like a new, you know, celebrity crushes Bella has, I go, what is it a vine celebrity? She goes, there is no vine. Yeah. Or what's the other one? What's the apperoscope? Like those things are coming.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Yeah, musically. And they're huge. There's another thing. They're huge. Yeah, it's wild. For these kids, these musical kids are born 2003. Chases. Two years after They're huge. Yeah, it's wild. For these kids, these middle school kids are born 2003. Two years after 9-11. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:48 And it's in the movie, actually, but it's like in the background. There is a banner of the twin towers. It's a thing in the school like 90 minutes north and it's like, oh, that is a historical event for them. Yeah, that'd be like the way they show, like, Washington crossing the Delaware, like, an arm-to-patch. And you're like, look at that. That happened, they go, those used to be the twin towers
Starting point is 00:15:08 and you're like, oh man, I remember what my record was on Madden that year. I did a spot in the Boston Comedy Club the night before. Yeah, eighth grade, I'm trying to remember. Christine said it was a fantastic year for her. You had a good eighth grade year? I had a good year. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Well, I said you were straight South Ole after that. It was, but great South Ole after that. It was. It was great. I switched school. So I went to one school for grammar school till sixth grade where I got like bullied and it was just shitty. And then I went to this awesome school for seventh and eighth grade where it was just it was like an amazing school experience. Yeah. Small classes, the teachers gave a shit. It was like very community driven.
Starting point is 00:15:45 That's, yeah, that makes you feel better about yourself. Yeah. Found my first gay friends. It is incredible, too, to see how socially progressive the schools are, which I think actually, like colors the misery of the kids in just a horrible dose of irony, the fact that like you're walking by a poster that says, like, support trans rights,
Starting point is 00:16:03 and you feel like a piece of shit. You know what I mean? I, like, for the first time, like the administration and the faculty and your parents are constantly looking at you, hoping you're feeling good, and you still feel shitty. It's like, they would love to get a fucking swirly or have their head shoved in the locker. It actually ground their pain in something tangible.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Instead of being like, the world is coddling me and I feel empty inside me. Why the fuck? I've seen it. They have no structure, you know, they have no structure to. So everything to rage, you could know machine to fight against. No, no, no, it's like really bad. I think bullying was part of the fucking terrarium as part of the, I mean, I remember
Starting point is 00:16:39 the kids being like, the system of growing up, I think I was bullied. I was bullied and I eventually stood up to a bully and I like, not all of them, but you know, I have that kind of check off, I'm all de-fuelist. I've bullied and been got fucking hurt by the person. I mean, like they hit me first or I lost the fight. You know, I mean, like it was all part of like learning a thing and I didn't bully people after that.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Yeah, but it's like, the bullying exists. It's just completely abstract. Someone said of like, I got my head shoved in a locker. It's like, someone made a fake Instagram account of me and said I'm a neo-con. It's like, wait, what? You're in seventh grade. You shouldn't, that's not the way you should have to process this.
Starting point is 00:17:16 That's a grad school print. But we're really, and I was talking to kids about, because it's incredible how much these kids are thinking about politics and just have to, and they like lose friendships over their political legacies. In eighth grade? I mean, in eighth grade was I being like, you're a jucakis kid, like fuck off, like what are you talking about? I can't believe that. And I was like, I can't believe that.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Like, I was talking to a lot of mother fuckers. And I did like a little round table with the kids and talking to them. And like, there's like 12 year old kids going like, do you know what happened in Iran? And I'm like, no. Like, it's crazy. Is this kind of a symptom from all the information being leaked into phones where you can just read anything in a second where you used to have to hear someone from somebody and then that they were your source. I remember one time I follow enough adults, you're bound to just as you're thumbing up the thing and seeing like look at this burger
Starting point is 00:18:05 I just ate and I can bet to crush this steak There's eventually gonna be like a new story and you're gonna you see fire and troops do you click it and you read the thing? You know that but it yeah exactly and it's also just like the whatever like democratization of information all the shit Which is like we all thought was like super cool that everyone is a voice But now we have no way to discern discern which voice is important where the hierarchy is like we all thought was like super cool that everyone is a voice. But now we have no way to discern which voice is important where the hierarchy is like true. Value or meaning is, and it literally is like perfectly demonstrated in what a feed is.
Starting point is 00:18:32 You scroll through your feed as your kid, you will see in no particular order, your mother, your friends, the president of the United States, Chick-fil-A. I mean, it's just like, they're all being presented with the same amount of space. A lot of chicks in yoga pants taking a picture in front of a mirror.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Yeah. And it's a lot to process. And for kids at the end of the night, you have to choose between the back of your eyelids or everything in the history of the world. It's like, you go crazy. I couldn't imagine. I go crazy.
Starting point is 00:18:58 I started pissing, sitting down so I could be in my phone like 18 months ago and I was like, some's wrong. Yeah. And then I just,, some's wrong. Yeah. You know, like this is, and then I just, then it was just more comfortable. Do you think cell phones are gonna be, do you think cell phones are gonna be kind of like the new cigarettes where like 20 years from now
Starting point is 00:19:12 people would be like, you gotta stay off cell phones, you're gonna get killed. Well yeah, and I always said like it's going to be, yeah, it's gonna be like smoking and we're gonna, the equivalent of my doctor used to smoke will be like, my shrink at a Twitter. Yeah. Like it'll be so great. Even you'll go, your shrink at a Twitter Yeah, it'll be so cool. You'll go your shrink at a Twitter No, you think the information intake is affected the curriculum for kids
Starting point is 00:19:35 I think is it is it harder is a little deeper to move faster you think school. Yeah, that's interesting Well, the teachers decided like they can't ban phones. They just can't because it's just not 10. Remember that started. They have to dancing and cans. Yeah, that's your on-lit go. If you had a beeper and your mom had come get it. They would take it and when I went on, they'd isolate it. I mean, just can't. Yeah, I got a cell phone when I was 18.
Starting point is 00:19:56 It was my mom's workflow. She's like, you're driving. Like, here you go. And it's funny and punishment to take my daughter's cell phone away at 16 years old, one of the big things, you know, also with the, they scare the shitty in the world that's living terrible can happen that you need her to have her phone. You know, she has to be kind of tethered to it.
Starting point is 00:20:13 Yeah. So we can get a hold of her. You know, I mean, I get blown away. Like I get nervous. I can get a hold of her. The idea of that that if this was, you know, 25 years ago, she'd have to get to a landline. You'd have a number to call.
Starting point is 00:20:28 I mean, I would, that's the way they've sold the parents though. It's like so fun. It's like in case your child is anywhere they need to get in contact with you in emergency. And by the way, we'll have no privacy and all of the information will be for everyone to see and they're performing their lives
Starting point is 00:20:40 every month. Okay, and it's like, wait, what? Like, the goal Okay, and it's like, wait, what? Like, these- What was that finger part? But the gulf between that and it, we fell down the rabbit hole so quickly. It's so insane. I went from being in seventh grade with my chunky Motorola phone, impressing girls by throwing my phone over my shoulder
Starting point is 00:20:57 and showing that it wouldn't shatter. You're like, that was my move. That's a good move by the way. That's a lot of faith in T-Mobile. See, it was gotta strong phone. Oh my god, he creamed a good move by the way. That's a lot of faith in T-Mobile. That was kinda strong, fun. Oh my god, he creamed Skyhooks it into the ground. It doesn't break. But yeah, it's wild.
Starting point is 00:21:13 And the crazy thing is, is that like there are like, what fucks me up looking at it, which is just so weird is that there are like, I've been to these places, you know what I mean? There are places in Silicon Valley like with 300 employees, that they're like,
Starting point is 00:21:26 the purpose of their company is to cater to the base wants of children. Like, like, what they actually program is what kids want. Like, I don't know, a photo service where photos disappear after 24 hours. What would a kid want that for? And what is maybe, like, that's sort of legalized child pornography distribution. They can't be liable for it because it's
Starting point is 00:21:47 disappearing after 24 you know and there's no mechanism to ask like is this good what what what do they maybe want are we making like because it's it's it's so it's so in front of it's so ahead of us right now that we're like you said we're fine down the rabbit hole with no fucking direction so fast and like the decisions about kids like neural chemistry are being made literally by like programmers. Yeah. I'm just saying that and they're not social geniuses.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Like you've met these fucking people. Yeah. They come out to the punchy now. Sometimes the services go. They're rough. You know, years and years ago, if your kid was like a head of you on technology, worry about him starting war games or something. Whereas like now it's just flat out that's like,
Starting point is 00:22:24 are they giving their privacy away? Are your kids sending child pornography basically to each other? And that's, and they're ahead of it because where I think I know, where I go, I would have to check my daughter's thing. See, I know there's the secret apps that are photo apps. I know how to find those things, you know whatever.
Starting point is 00:22:43 But she definitely knows 12 more things than I'm on a way. It's always a step ahead. I don't know if it had a check if she has more than one Twitter or Instagram. You can't even use it. You don't even know what the names of the things are. You have to be literate in this whole thing
Starting point is 00:22:58 to even understand the dangers, though, just so strange. Like, it's a... Let's go antler, dude. It shuts all down. I know, and it's so funny, because that's what people say, like people say, like, people always say to me, like, there's gonna be a generation that unplugged, and I'm like, yeah, some things are cyclical, like for sure,
Starting point is 00:23:11 but sometimes like, a car shows up, and there's fucking no more horses. Like that, and that's just what happens. Yeah. So, things just change, and they, and especially, like, you wanna think this is cyclical, and like a generational unplug, watch a fucking three-year-old with an iPad.
Starting point is 00:23:24 It's crazy. You'll see that like, these things are designed You want to think this is cyclical and a generational unplug. Watch a fucking three-year-old with an iPad. You'll see that these things are designed to appeal to us before we can fucking think. This is the image that, and multiple people have said this to me, I know other people with young kids who have done the exact same thing. My nephew watches videos, there's videos of, which is so demanded that these people make these videos of parents that film their kids
Starting point is 00:23:47 playing with toys. It's all about like Jeff's toys. And like, unwrapping boxes. Yeah, yeah, so what happens is like, so now my sister will be like, you know, with her kid and he'll start playing with toys and be like, mom, mom, tell them about the thinking there's an audience there to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:24:04 We're going tell them about the, tell them to subscribe or tell them and multiple people, I've said that their kids watch these videos and then, and like, they think they're in the Truman show. Exactly. And that is a real sort of like, like, de-personalization or whatever, like that's like a real thing that can happen to people.
Starting point is 00:24:22 Sure. And like, but like, that's, it sounds like a goofy thing. Yeah. But that's like a weird meta-strange prison type of living, which I think is what kids suffer from now, which is they don't just live their life. They also hover over themselves and watch themselves live their life. They don't just approach moments. They, before they even have a moment, they're wondering what that moment will be, how it'll
Starting point is 00:24:46 be, looked back on, how people react to how they look back. Like, you know, it's the most on the nose example that is every concert. Exactly. It's a parody of itself and it's like, no, we're not supposed to become shitty New Yorker cartoons. I mean, like, the problem with like the country becoming the movie, idiocracy is like, idiocracy is not a great movie. Like that's what no one's actually saying is that it's like like it's kind of an on-the-nose shitty satire
Starting point is 00:25:08 Yeah, that movie that it's insane how much that movie comes up just in Conversation people on a daily bay everything. We thought would be a better movie than this You know you're right. I want to make a tender profile so I could say things like I think EDM's a bunch of noise Just like old man crotchety things in your profile dude. I told you what I wanted I don't like a lot of lights. I like the I like my music loud and classic who sleeping sleeping in is a real treat The one that I told Vecchio and I think I've said that what I wanted to put on my profile originally was I'm here for conflict emotional physical That was gonna be one of my or my other one was gonna be Dan
Starting point is 00:25:50 35 if cornered I will attack. I have impossible standards of cleanliness. Yeah Real real broken toy over here I cry just as much as I scream I cry just as much as I scream. Uh, Damn, welcome to Chaos. Like it's a, it's a my space profile. Welcome to Chaos. A woman who wants to be with me is going to have to learn how to walk between the
Starting point is 00:26:15 raindrops of my fury. Oh, dude, I want to ulti- I have a lot of unsorted issues. I want to start to deal with that. I want to start uncapitalized, but then alternate between Lowercase and capitalize and just haven't say welcome to the chaos Honest dating profile. Oh my god. Everybody actually just has to lay all their shit in it I'll never hit you, but you're gonna think I'm going to a lot Welcome to welcome the flinch town. Welcome to flinch city bitch
Starting point is 00:26:47 Better get ready duck and jazz. Are you gonna hit me like, nobody I want to? Prepare to have an offensive voice mocking you. Be shot back in your face. If you want to keep all of your prize possessions, don't tell me how much they mean to you or I will break them. Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM East on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95 or on demand on the Series XM app.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire at SXM. podcast.

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