The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Tough Room (feat. Colin Quinn)
Episode Date: January 27, 2022The legend Colin Quinn joins The Bonfire and talks with the boys to talk about ridiculous Law & Order episodes!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM ...app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocerson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast.
You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM.
Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder.
It's the Bonfire everybody.
The faction talks SiriusXM one of three Big J. Ocerson Dan Soder, sitting in the studio
with us everybody.
It is the great Colin Quinn
There it is thank you. Thank you. You know, honestly, we picked the volume of audience some people just get some claps
You know, let me get arena. Let me just give you some some things are actually coming up from Colin Quinn
Instead of that old stuff why the last best hope coming up in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, Washington, DC, Wilmington, Delaware,
South Orange, New Jersey, for tickets
and all tour dates, of course, right?
Colin Quinn, that's right.
Any comic worth of salt hates when people are just
too reading the fucking credits.
If only the comics have ever seen that drinking in
are the shittiest ones we do in morning radio with them
and they're like, eh, it also bring out
a little bit of the show.
Guys, it's like you're intro and stage when they start
doing the intro.
If somebody doesn't understand, you're like, oh, no, they've
still looked at Wikipedia.
And by the time you come and say, you want to kill yourself.
Yeah, dude.
And that's always the funniest thing is when you find out in the UK that they just don't
do credits.
And they think it's like incredibly obnoxious when American comedians are go say you
could see me on this, this, and this.
Right.
Well, people ask what do you want us to say? I'm
like, if you're not saying, Hey, everyone you know, I'm from
Ace Ventura, it's Jim. What does the credit mean? Right?
The funniest one I saw was one time at the seller, they were
bringing up Nikki Glazer and they're going like, you guys
know her from train wreck from inside, Amy, shit.
And they're like, you watch them.
I'm like, you watch them, they're like, you know what I'm gonna start? They're like, you guys are, I'm like, huh?
Like, they're still a little wild,
but you can hear the build happening.
They're like, what was you gonna get, they go,
ah, ah,
cause it's so fun.
You know the shriek, you know,
the celebrity shriek, the seller,
where they go, ah, it's so cool to hear.
Yeah, it is, when you're in the hallway,
it's like, it's like here in Lightning Crack.
Can I say, what is being considered're in the hallway. It's like it's like here in lightning crack. Can I say
What is being considered gay news that's not just news anymore? This is what the radio is talking about is it is a gay news Ukraine and Russia?
This is pretty gay Russia is trying to invade Ukraine. It just doesn't need subjects one whales can't choke. I don't know why that's gay news. I mean, um, yeah, you got this right to self.
This is gay news for sure.
And is this possibly true?
You can't say gay in Florida now?
Of all things they would stop you from doing Florida.
It's saying gay.
I don't know if that's it.
Oh, maybe South Florida.
South Florida, my, Miami, I could see taking it, umbridge with it.
Central Florida, I think that's how they greet each other.
Yeah. They go, what's up, gay? What's up, gay, what's up? taking it umbridge with it central Florida I think that's how they greet each other yeah they go
what's up gay what's up gay wad um and the items on chick filet secret menu are finally revealed
that's gay news because they don't like by the way I love this song is fucking very
does it remind you of like uh when you hear this are you like do you go back to your drinking days
are there songs that activate the drinking day?
No, this song reminds me of like that was a bit this is a perfect disco like
70s. Well, this is the song right this would they play when Fez when Fez came out of the closet
Oh really on Ron of it. It's just dead silence. He goes I'm gay and then Ron says nothing and they go
Hey, he just goes
Yeah and they go yeah
so there is
abc news is reporting a florida bill that would limit classroom discussions
on sexual orientation and gender identity
and encourage parents to sue schools or teacher that engage in these topics
is feeding through the state
uh... house and spent
it's being called don't say gay bill
by lbgtq advocates who fear that if this bill is signed into law
It could act as a complete ban on the lessons of the LGBTQ oppression history and discussion about the identities
Well, you know what's funny does bring us to a subject then. I was just thinking about the law and order thing if you're on
If you're on the phone everybody hang in there. We might come
thing if you're on if you're on the phone everybody hang in there we might come
It's still got 50 minutes. Yeah, we got so much fun
Well, I was you watch law and order religiously
Yes, it is an engine one of my favorite Colin Quinn bits is about you never being on law and order
How about my one of my earliest jokes. I don't even know if anyone to get it
I used to one of my early jokes to come and I go I work out religiously only on
Christmas Eve in Easter. I mean yeah that's how into comedy was that was that year one
year two? Oh year one year one. Oh yeah. Do you ever think about your own jokes and you
just go. Most of it was horrible but I'm telling you some of the jokes I wish I could write
them today. I used to come out and say I got my, my girl has a face
like an angel, a health angel. Here you go, we've been getting a little bit of a 10 years
but only feels like 10 minutes under water. And the other one I used to go, danger is my middle
name, actually it's my confirmation name. This is you. It's you. It's this is 84.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Murdering.
Yeah, killing.
It's killing.
Well, Jay is a religious viewer of Law and Order.
Do you have a scene up, Christine?
Yeah.
You do.
This.
I love the show.
I've been very vocal of my act.
They're very irresponsible with their rip from the headlines stuff remember they did the rapist comic
That's the one I always go to I because it was like such on a personal thing right right
It was when they were saying is people making rape jokes encouraging actual rape not only was it not only was it found in court to yes
In fact be liable of causing rape right but then also the comedian himself also a rapist
That's right who played the comedian john johnston silverman johnson and they feel that the memoirs and they did comic strip
life that's where yeah he did sets and the episode yeah Jay showed it to me and I was like this is
ridiculous you can't do comedy there anymore let alone rape comedy the comic strip live you can
do comedy I mean Lucian sure he passed you if you good rape Challenge, but that's what's was sad about comedy in a way is that all these famous could be all these people and
If one TV shows we were gonna film here like oh like it's 1975
Well, they want to film like we're in the middle of fucking Ohio
1970 hey a film was coming to town guys the location scout came by you're gonna put up a good
Diner's driving's and dives was here like I do want some shit
Yeah, seriously you can see Susan's surrounded on the subway
This is in a cable crime show. I was just fucking babe. We're filming the mentalist on my blog
The fact that you love Lauren order was infuriating,
by the way.
Why?
Well, first of all, I've watched,
you don't know who you're talking to.
I've watched many law and orders for various reasons.
And I'm only a few.
And it doesn't matter.
No.
No.
And yeah.
And according to, if I, if I just watch the law and order and then visit
in New York City I would keep as far as possible from the crime the only place
crimes are committed to the Dalton school
if you go to the Dalton school you're asking for 90% of the crimes are committed on the upper
the park avenue or the Dalton school there are private committed on the Upper East, either Park Avenue or the Dalton School. They were private school on the Upper East side.
Wasn't that the whole HBO thing with Nicole Kidman
and Hugh Grant?
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Private school kids and murder and intrigue against them.
Murder and intrigue.
Well, this, a bunch of the episodes,
they just do things where I'm like,
this is a bad, like you're taking it
such a weird stance on this, obviously. Well, this episode starts off with Benson has
a son. I don't know if you know that. I didn't know. Mariska Hargote has a son now who
was somehow against all odds. She was able to adopt because it was a baby that she was
watching this baby and a witness who was a junkie.
Right.
Junkie dies.
She takes the baby.
She's just allowed to have the baby, I guess.
Right.
It's law and order law.
Yeah.
It's pretty crazy.
So she's been, she's had this kid now since he was pretty young on the show and now like,
you know, every year they take off, he's just aging a bit.
So he's nine years old now.
Oh.
His character.
And they have this discussion, if you would win would win this is from the episode that just aired
It's and it's really I thought they I thought it was gonna be the dick wolf screen which when the show's over
It says dick wolf sure. I was waiting for dick wolf, but they gave you a little man
Maybe great if everyone people are like telling you stories in just regular conversation if you hit the guy the dick wolf at the end of their story
Where you know it was done?
Exactly your priest dick wolf and you end of their story where you know it was done. Yeah, exactly.
You're pretty sick.
Dick Wolf and you're like,
oh, that's a pretty good story.
Well, I thought it was gonna be a,
I think it's a very first scene of the episode
is her son's in like a big dog cage
and like some older kids like fucking with him.
Yeah, which is, listen,
if you've been around older kids,
you've been in a dog cage.
He was at a friend's house
and the older brother was just being like shitty to them. You've ate stuff for money in front of him or you've been in a dog cage. He was at a friend's house and the older brother was just being like shitty to them.
You've ate stuff for money in front of them or you have been in a dog cage.
That's part of having a friend with older brothers.
We used to put my brother in the closet until he would say the N word.
It makes no sense.
It didn't mean anything.
We just couldn't believe you would do it.
And that little brother grew up to be a grand wizard.
So you start young and you get them all the way to the top way to the top. And that little brother is making moves.
And I'm going to give you a little Phil Donahue action right now and tell you that little brother became one of the biggest racists in Eastern Pennsylvania.
I started in North Fork chapter of the Proudly.
He is Jewish and also a neo-nice. How they did it, I don't know.
Christ only knows. So I thought I was going to be about a bullying kind of like B story here.
But it's just this next thing, it's just this ending scene, which is crazy.
So Annie's mom called and wanted to have another play date.
And I said that it would be better if she came to our house.
She didn't tell her to us about Hudson, the dog cage.
Actually, I did.
Mom, I asked you not to.
Well, Hudson's just an idiot.
No one likes him anyway.
He bullies everyone.
It was just my turn to be his target.
Our kids pretty interesting.
I'm not interested in that.
Nine-year-old, that interest, nine-year-old,
understanding bullying on this level.
Yeah, and Hudson, of course course I guaranteed that private school name
Yeah, Hudson the playing of these if
If Hudson's your bully then someone's bullying Hudson
For sure, I'm gonna guess redhug the shooting
I love it now you just look for the location
These should the precinct on our street a lot.
On, uh, fifth?
Oh, yeah.
When you're on fifth and second.
Ninth Precinct.
Oh, that's awesome.
I'll take a good night's precinct story, by the way.
When I have to.
Oh, boy.
He's got enemies.
I'd say what I would have thrown a mall tough cocktail in the place
whenever I could.
He had enemies.
He had a guy on his street that had him.
When did the cops you mean?
Yeah.
They're dirty.
They're on the take, I think.
Oh.
All right. What's this finish the scene?
First you want to call me because Corey to everyone their pronouns are they then and
Hudson sir concoria fairy can I just tell you right now that Hudson sounds like Shane Gillis and sounds funny as well
Hudson's go like you're gay. you're getting this dog caged.
Tell them they're a fairy.
Tell them I'm going to put him in a German shepherds cage.
So did I say that I was bi?
And that there's no shame in being true to yourself.
That's right, Noah.
So you stood up and called me?
So you suck and fuck.
Yeah, that's my question.
Like yeah, surfing turf.
All right.
Cool.
You're going to find it.
That's why I said though when he's like, I'm buying.
She's like, that's very cool.
You told me that.
And even that like, like, I'd be like, my question would be, what
adult is touching you?
Noah, because these are words.
Right.
I told you also what did you do?
There's no shame in being who you are.
Like, what do you make jager in
seventy three is just fuck so much pussy you have to fuck a dude now i just
found that a year ago that it's all intense and purposes
i wouldn't talk like that when i was nine
no way
no way and why is there one is that the dice drop i don't understand these
bisexual
uh...
also cross the nose dice drop I don't understand these bisexual BOSS A CROSS THE NOSE
What are these guys flip a coin
Dude I love this nine year old is just got the grasp of bisexuality. I'm bullying when I was nine years old
I thought the undertaker was a dead man
There's legitimately like
That man's reanimated and he's fighting for the death of the left title?
Mom, sexuality is a vast spectrum.
Yeah, I don't, I think you need to look
at all political problems through the scope
of individual domestic and systematic.
These kids, the dialogue they get them,
do you think kids are actually this smart?
I think in nine years old, you're learning
what pronoun means, let on what someone's pronouns
Oh, you know, I mean you're fighting up the meaning of that. Yeah, it's insane
Do you think kids are getting smarter now because of smartphones like they understood like they actually talk like this?
Oh, I don't think they're talking like this, but I'm sure there's a few of them in a lot of so much smarter
Yeah, oh my god. Is it smarter? Are they being like just parrots?
We have to be more I think they're being advanced
First of all, I think I had about law in order and in fact,
that all the criminals from the Dalton School is the fact that all the cops
within the kept champion ones and while are liberal. Oh, yeah, liberal police
officer. He's like, that's good. I'm buying smack on the face. Why do you say?
I'm sorry. You have a second to ask you. You fuck women.
I want you to get a badge running. What did you do? I'm not gay. This is insane. This
is like child sexuality. Yeah, that is weird. Yeah, it's like, it's like, it's like
you're a sexualized child. Why would you put that on? That even give a shit. I just said,
I was bisexual because sometimes you want to roll with a man The tip of TV is weird
Propaganda we can read the writers you literally the problem used to be you'd read writers and you go oh
You're making all the characters sound like a kind of a half comedian that's trying to put jokes on
Yeah, and now you're just putting propaganda on to say leave us on the air. We're on the same where the right thing. Yeah, we're everyone's so bad
Everyone's cool. Don't worry. I think that you can have whatever you want
That it really is
They even said like the cops in Long-Oro that was one of the episodes two of the wrong sitting in a bar one night
And they go so hard out there, you know, cuz like black lives matter. It's like I want to be marching with them
But like we have to do our job
that's going on
god yeah do you i mean they honestly the police officer that they use on set
to probably read i don't i wonder if they gave up on that like when london
that it was a blanket advisor right here with a like bring the advisor in the
script is that cops don't talk like that and they're like oh dick wolf's like we
got rid of him right fifteen years ago right right right now they're just going
like
yet now it sounds more like a dance school, how instructors
that a dance school talk than it does like a precinct, where they're like, I really
just define your truth.
Oh my God, girl, that man was committing a crime and I said, what is a crime?
It's a crime of yourself.
I've said that there is a, also a disproportionate representation right now,
which I know is the other direction before,
but it's weird to see the disproportionate number of gay people
in a commercial, it's like three gay couples
and one in a racial conflict.
That's the representative of everyone
who's going to this restaurant.
Yeah, that's weird.
Yeah, the over compensation where they go,
sorry, white people don't eat Cheerios
We will not show you in our commercials. What was the commercial for we saw that was like one of the that was like a old
Depala bit where he was like oh, yeah, that's the home security system
He goes at you's breaking in a guy that looks like a quarterback in the fucking in the big 10
There's a guy go or progressive commercial. She's gonna try to find it more of them.
That is-
Progressive.
Oh, it might be progressive.
That's so fun.
If it is progressive, you're like,
you can't do that.
You can't be doing that.
It is the progressive.
I almost respect it more now.
Like, ah, you know what, you know what I mean?
It's on brand.
Yeah.
And when they were pitching it,
someone went, that's genius.
It aligns perfectly with our corporate strategy.
It's an interracial gay couple
with their interracial adopted boy and girls kids.
They're just complaining about like the car,
like alarms going off and they have to get it fixed
or something.
And it's just like, they don't acknowledge you,
which is almost the best way they do that.
They don't acknowledge you anyway.
So they do normalize it, but we're wound.
I've were wound something that gets like to the part of the game.
I was watching or something and just saw it and I was like,
wait a second, is that like a family?
It's so weird looking.
But my favorite was the commercials
where they just try to get it past you,
like you're not gonna notice that a Coke commercial
has three women and one man, one man,
and they're all watching the game,
none of them are wearing sports a barrel.
Yeah.
When they're drinking Coca-Cola and they're like,
for the big game and they're like all on the edge of their seat.
Like, ah!
Like those people give a fuck about,
it's fat white dudes with, you know, sauce or it's like guys.
The purple team line.
It's like a black guy in an old Eddie George Titans jersey.
And he's just like, this thing, I fucking work at Walmart.
This is everything to me.
But you know, the Coke doesn't show that.
They show like four models that could be an Abercrombie.
Right.
It's fucking crazy.
They showed three chicks of one gay guy just watching like a Justin Timberlake
half-time show.
I go, yeah, exactly.
That makes sense.
Everybody else does smoking cigarettes and weed.
I feel like everyone's performing for everyone else.
Like the writing on this,
but the writing on law and order is performing for the writers on fucking.
Absolutely.
They're just everybody's like, wait, it's's just like look how cool I am just touching in like
Guys all things kids that are bisexual are cool
The problem is also this is particularly
The problem is nine year old smoking an unfiltered cigarette sorry going like yeah, I had a bed
Yeah, it really but bad. And I had a bad, a bad, a little bit of both. I don't mind. I'm sick. Crazy.
Yeah, it really, but it's also just like, no one can get past the underlying question that's
like, not the point of it at all.
So you say something like that.
It goes, that's a ridiculous lineup for that commercial.
You have a problem with gay people, like, no.
Like, but if you're selling me a problem, he is gay.
You're going to be, I guess, don't understand why you're like, this isn't what this would
look like. If you're selling me a commercial for all of them. don't understand why you're like this isn't what this would look like You're some of me a commercial
Listen to this in Andy Cohen studio. Yeah, you're right. You know what the ground's gonna start rumbling
You're gonna start hearing stuff break one of the lights is gonna fall off like Indiana Jones and that everything's collapsing
We've angered the cum volcano behind you well bring up those bring up that racist couple on the train that got fired
From their dealership.
I think they worked at a Long Island car dealership together.
Yeah.
It was a racist couple on the Long Island on the LIRR.
Oh, I think I saw this one.
Did you see this one?
Yeah.
They were like yelling at a family that looked like immigrants.
They ain't taking it over my country.
Yeah, dude.
It wasn't you.
They were like, I wish it was Philly.
It was like, what a better access. It was like semi-de-jail, bro
That's what I was it was like semi-de-jail
First was not a better accent for it. What are the Philly thing? Yeah, I mean Philly in Long Island
To be garbage races be garbage racists
That is really the pretty we like hard New York accent for this stuff
Yeah, but where's that where's that old uh yeah where's that old lower east side this guy long island of new york
accent yeah long island is the new york accent that's where you yourself a hot doll we can get
at oh yeah that mid-Atlantic though you go hot doll week yeah filly it's yeah filly's a great
thing it's one of my favorite weird accents that I never knew until I moved to the east coast yeah You got a hot dog week. Yeah, Philly. Yeah, Philly's a great day.
It's one of my favorite weird accents
that I never knew until I moved to the East Coast.
Yeah, it's a real specific one.
You don't even realize it.
You didn't know why or a lot.
The why or yeah?
No, not as much as you,
one of my big complaints in the why
was when they had a couple of those Baltimore guys
that I was like, oh, it is that Baltimore accent.
Yeah, yeah, but a lot of them don't.
I thought that was weird too.
Just to piss me over.
But it gets to the old men, the old men cops.
They were always had it.
Yes, but the same thing piss me over in Casino.
If you're gonna make the movie about Chicago,
every year, see the accent.
Peji did it.
Dineiro was just like,
yeah, but no one else has the,
no one else has the,
northerners Chicago.
Yes.
You get it, can't like,
I'm saying Dineiro was doing this.
I'm not doing it, I'm not doing it, I'm saying.
Yeah. Dineiro was like, don't, then. And then you can't like I'm saying to me. Oh, I'm not doing it. I said yeah
You can't make anybody else do
Bobby please yeah
I'm gonna forget it after a little bit. I show me this movie from like early on in his quay right after raising Bullock did a movie it was a good movie the mission or something
But anyway, it was like setting like 1800 or 1700. And it was your New York accent.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
He's like, ah, a little bit, a little bit.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, that is great.
Well, my lady.
Does a flip side that I coin?
Yeah, yeah.
I always love that thought of like people
that should be doing certain accents
and they're just like, fuck you.
Yeah, we're in a big enough to get away with it.
I mean, Pesci did it perfectly.
Yeah, because Pesci has the to get away with it. I mean, Pesci did it perfectly. Yeah, he cuz
Pesci has the perfect New York or the Tristan area. Yeah, the big time Frankie. Yeah. Yeah, that was a great line
I was gonna go
Delivery even when he goes
Charlie Charlie am yeah, Charlie am you made me pop your eye out of your socket for that fucking brick hilarious
Do them a favor. Yeah, the do them the favor the favor. By the way, Casino, not a great movie.
Really?
I love it.
Let me tell you something.
Casino, better than the other overrated movie
that won the best picture I was forget what it's called
from Boston.
Oh, departed.
The departed.
You like the parts?
Yeah.
These movies are shit compared to like the streamline of good fellas and mean streets and
taxi driver and even raising, but but Cassina, the reason I, I mean, I love Sharon Stone.
She was, she was great.
Yeah.
She's the greatest.
Yeah, she's amazing.
But the truth is, and it's heresy to say, James Woods should have played Deneeros
part.
Yeah.
And James Woods's part should have been played by somebody. I don't know who but somebody somebody's come here
Somebody we what a
Sexual tip. Yeah, cuz you didn't believe why how you would turn her. He should be denied deniro is not great in that movie
Yeah, I know that's it. That's a bold call, but I can tell
I just said that I was like I'm trying to give any of my favorite things in that movie or him
It's not you know what's another You talk about the departed though. That was something where Jack Nicholson was like I ain't doing the accent
No, like we need you to do it once or twice and he goes I'll do it twice you just you just nailed the whole poem with the party
Jack Nicholson with the greatest act of all time so miss cast for that part not why I mean
I'm a soldier. Yes, you supposed to be whitey bul He's bolder. And you're supposed to be Irish. You start out with a white, wild sex scene.
Yeah, that's something I really put the cocaine.
And he's like, eh, he was too much for that.
Did you like black mass?
Is that the one you're saying?
No, but I liked his tooth.
Yeah, that was nice.
He should have the dead tooth and the contacts.
It was great.
Yeah, that was good.
He was good.
Black mass was a black mass was a letdown.
Yeah, it was a letdown. Because you're supposed. He was good. His black mask was a let down.
Yeah, it was a let down.
Cause he's supposed to be like,
even if you reading the books about the Winter Hill gang,
you're like, they did a lot of crazy shit.
And the Dan's a big fan of the
John Travolta vehicle, Goddy.
I saw it.
I saw it in this theater,
and I swore to God calling.
He was one of the best movie going experiences
have ever seen in my life.
Because for the entire time,
an audience of strangers
got together to laugh at this attempt at a bio.
There's a scene in the beginning of the Goddy thing
where they're under the Queensborough bridge.
They're under the 59th street bridge
and it's just looking at Manhattan
and it's just a guy in a coat and it's Tervolta's Goddy
and he turns around and he goes,
New York City, my city.
And when he said that, everyone in the theater
collectively laughed except one guy
that I think might have been made in the Gaudi family.
It was there to, because the whole time
it weird start laughing, you like look back,
you guys are fucking up this great.
Right.
New York is so weird.
Wow, it's my city.
New York City.
New York City.
I watched 20 minutes.
I mean, I couldn't believe I had to turn it.
I didn't turn it. So it's always, it was one of those movies. It's one of the goddies one of those movies where you watch it where it's just clear
Who from the goddy family wrote the movie and it's his son?
It's clearly right
Because there's like even the stuff that goddy junior caught in real life
I think for being a snitch or something he caught some shit
They were like in the movie like no that was all misunderstood sure
It's like they did that with the NWA movie with Dr. Dre right all the stuff about him tossing around women
Conveniently wasn't in the movie right. He was he was a lot of probably the real people
But then they look I'm gonna put that shit in here. Yeah, the big the biggy movie
It was clearly written by puff daddy because puff daddy's like you should call yourself B.I.G
It was clearly written by puff daddy because puff daddy's like you call yourself B.I.G And he's like, oh, that's a real good old.
It's always my example was at the end of it.
It was like, hey, big, we're going to leave and go in this car procession down the street.
He's like, hang on, let me call everybody I love and say something really important about
the future.
Mom, I'm going to change things as soon as I get home tomorrow.
I'm going to take care of my kids better. I promise. Dude, I am. I'm gonna change things as soon as I get home tomorrow. Oh, let me tell you.
I'm gonna take care of my kids better, I promise.
Dude, I am.
I'm sorry about everything.
So I gotta go to this party now.
I'm trying to think of all the,
because we love to make fun of biop lines,
because in biops, they always do the,
that's it, that's the song.
When they like, say it in a line,
where they go, oh no, no, just can't get no satisfaction.
And they're like, that's it.
Which is fun to think of the Colin Biop
where he just gets off stage at the cell and he's like,
tough crowd and someone's like, that's it.
That's the show.
Well, you know, it's funny.
We did that.
That was how the moment happened.
It's really, it's been, we spent two, not that moment.
You guys had a Biop moment?
We had a Biop moment, I swear to God.
It's for like a week.
I'm asking everybody, give me a name.
Give me a name. Give me a name for the show,
and we're coming up with all these names, like...
The CYBUNCH.
Yeah, like the society of crumbums.
What?
Everyone's throwing out a million names.
And then this one kid that worked on the show
that I actually knew from MTV,
which is our, it's all a lot of stories.
Hank, he came in and he goes,
he gave a suggestion and it's like eight at night,
well it's so tight, and he just looks at me and goes,
oh, tough room.
And I go, that's it, tough room.
Yeah.
And I go tough room, tough crowd.
And he's like, we like tough crowd,
but I like tough room better.
Tough room, I was gonna call it tough room.
Should've been called tough room.
But every time tough crowd is better,
cause it's more commercial, you know, and I wanted to call it tough room. And that's so funny it a tough room. Should've been called tough room. Whatever's like tough crowd is better because it's more commercial.
You know, I wanted to call it a tough room.
Yeah.
That's so funny it was a buy-out.
It was when it was moments like, I said, I go, that's it.
What a tough crowd.
He was giving his suggestion.
It was bad.
And it was tough room.
Me and Dan had to think of a name that was not just our names for this show.
Yeah.
And evergreen.
Initially, they want to never green name.
So we were thinking about it. Dan came over to my house.
I was dealing with a medical problem
that seemed like an impossibility.
I couldn't hear out of one ear.
Oh.
It was completely shut down.
And I was way early stages freaking out about it.
Yeah.
And we just came up with one part.
It was like, bonfire is like a campfire.
It goes, yeah, we sit around and tell stories on the fire.
He's like, I like bonfire.
I like bonfire.
All right, let me get back to moping
Just so he can have a break from his hyperconjury
Yeah, you just came out of his hyperconjury is like you need that's fine. It's submitted to Communist
I think I bring kid bonfire is good
There wasn't like that's it that's the moment. He was just like I don't know. I'm afraid I'm dying I'd like it. We're around the fire. We're having it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I do like that
I feel like you guys leave me out. I was doing laundry and I walked out and I went I love bonfire
She was there she really feel like they live Joe. Oh, they literally left it. They totally left me out at that moment
You know, there's last time she ever did laundry for God. Yeah
The the patriarchy wrote her out of the history. I know I know I'm headed with a laundry joke right?
out of the history. I know. I know. I'm headed with a laundry joke right. You guys are on the pitch. Fire fire. My show. Yeah. I'm fire. Yeah. She got put it on a lot. Yeah. She came out in
the Northern Chicago accent. She goes, that's it. If you guys are going to be sitting around,
and Mays will be at a band for air. Oh my God. That's it. Um, Lou, what time can we go to if we
never come back from commercial break? Whoa. Well, you that are we have to go on a break now and come back for six minutes.
What do you say, Bam Margera?
I would say you do the Bam Margera now.
He doesn't like Bam Margera currently.
God damn dude, Collins is fucking knocked it out of the park and one look at Lou.
When you say Pam Martin.
I say we got to pay the bills at 46 after the hour.
So we have 11 minutes.
I agree.
We're good.
We enjoyed the 11 minutes.
Okay.
Bound down down down down down down down down down down down down down.
I just heard Johnny Knoxville in Sternius today.
I had no idea that's a minute man's song.
Did you know that?
No.
It's actually a full song.
Oh, the jackass theme?
Yeah, he says they do very well
just off being the jackass theme.
Yeah, I can't do that.
If you have a song, it gets turned into a theme song
for a major show that's going on.
I wonder about that though.
Take that song from, you know, from friends.
Oh, the Rembrandt.
Like those guys, not that they were probably gonna last,
but I think they would have been total failures if that for that song
Yeah, that's probably true and but you know what the question is is you wonder what kind of deal they signed to use it because they weren't
Shit the show wasn't sure and so they're like yeah 500 bucks take the song and then it's just now it's that's a good question
Well, that's a good show you guys should do a few episodes what happened to the Rembrandt?
I'll tell you another one if you get a few episodes what happened to the Rembrandt I'll tell you another one if you get
Yeah, let's go to the Rembrandt, but then somebody who was big like
John Sebastian, I think his name is John Sebastian. He was with the loving spoonful. Okay, and you might say what's on the right?
Welcome back
Well, there's always the rumor that Alan thick wrote the song for growing pains, right?
What do we do?
So then you wonder did he sang it? Did he say I think Robin thick must have sang it
Well, yeah, I mean
But there's also there's a good business and if you can make a not just be a one hit wonder but be a one hit wonder written for
And if you can make a not just be a one hit wonder but be a one hit wonder written for romcom
You'll get used I mean that one each tree will live forever look around y'all pretty baby
Yes, that's it. Yeah, that is the only thing that is and that guy is in every romcom. You're absolutely right who is it? It's his name's what's that a me tree?
I don't know me tree. Wow, but if you hear the song, you'd be like, oh, this isn't every single one.
No, I know this song.
But yeah, but even like, aim is Lee.
Yeah.
Just people like that, he knows him.
Philly.
He knows every musical band that I've ever heard.
You do?
I mentioned the flying barito brothers one time.
And they were.
Which is such an inside Denver.
I only know that because they played. It's that inside Denver. I only know that because they play that
It's a Denver. I mean, they were big, but I'm saying like, but when you grow up in Denver
Right, you get hit over the head with it constantly. Yeah, it's like being in San Francisco
And they nonstop bring up journey in Metallica where they're like
Well, San Francisco's like a legendary music place. I don't think journey in Metallica where they the alcoholics in my dad hung out with
Okay, yeah, you like to let you city rollers like it was stocked in
Only we have these two bands
It's basically Fresno, Colin yeah
Where's the part of California where it's all like Fleetwood Mac and everybody?
Laurel Canyon, yeah. Laurel Canyon.
Oh yeah, Laurel Canyon thing, that wasn't bad.
But I mean, it was kind of interesting
because the mamas and the poppers,
who were like, even as a little kid,
we used to listen, I was like seven,
but I was like, these are squares.
Like, my parents like this kind of music.
And because they were like squares,
but even they were like, yeah, we were part of the scene.
Yeah.
And then you find out that I was banging his own daughter.
I mean, yeah, those are some wild stories
that came out of the mom and his and the poppers.
But you know what's great about that is that she was around,
which you revealed that.
It was shocking to the public,
but if it was nowadays, there'd be an army of people therapy.
She would probably have cracked up and said,
she's like, yeah, it was a fucked up time.
I was like, yeah, and just basically was like moved on from there.
Sure. Well, that's what's going on with the Hugh Hefner documentary right?
What?
A&E. Have you seen this? No 10 parts. It's only two is coming out every Monday
It looks like but they what do they say oh Colin it gets bad. What do you mean? They're saying that he
Fuck the dog at one point well, they're getting him for grooming and having these young girl and also behind the scenes being much more like
Like
Viciously kind of manipulative and controlling of them stuff grooming was his whole that was this I think
Yeah, kind of where it is chest. Yeah, he's like I'm gonna get this girl with blonde hair and big boobs to be one of my
I think he's gone now. He's gonna be complex. Just playboy. Oh father's to read it. It's like a deep-second I think he just knows that he's stirring people up. I think he's going now. He's going to be complex because playboy of father's to read it. It's like a deep secular thing.
I think he just knows that he's stirring people up.
Oh, God yeah.
I think this is just a case of everyone thought this
probably 35 years ago.
Yeah.
At least.
And then he dies.
And now they're just kind of doing the thing like,
oh yeah, I didn't like it.
In this.
In this.
And the girls are like, well you guys,
well you were having fun. He goes, yeah, but you know, then we had to like go play
with this guy's old balls and.
Oh, yeah, well, I'm sure once I tell the other
and shit, it's like if you got, if it's like if you got
molested by the guy that owns a water park, you know, yeah,
it was a lot of fun.
I got to write a lot of slides, but also I had to get
fucked in the snack chat by a guy.
Well, there is something that too.
It's like they, uh, again, like someone saying,
is this a bit of like regret revenge?
And I'm like, I think it's completely that.
I don't think he held anybody down the do anything.
That's always gonna be the hard part.
It's gonna be like, it's gonna be a big win.
And they were like, I get what it seems like most of them are going.
Like, I thought I was gonna become famous.
Everyone keeps pointing out.
Why?
Pan Anderson, Anna Colesmith, and I forget the other one was they say,
but it's like three people that like
Shot out of it and got really big so they're like well, I wasn't that and I just had to suck this guy's old
Dude dick, yeah sucks. I'm gonna fuck other guys at the parties. Yeah, just like his buddies that you're like
It's got this guy. I don't pay you finger my butt in a grotto
But it was the kind of guy they like yeah, that's the kind of cool and they don't want the guy from shell oil
That fucking smells
Smells like ham
Hey, hey, miss November you got to suck off this VP
But I mean, but and also remember when I was the right fucking Cosby was there all
the time. So you say that we watched it yesterday we had Roy went on the show and we showed
him the beginning of the documentary because Jay's been watching it. Cosby prominently
featured in the title. It shows it in the title car. It shows him playing tennis there and
then their interview him and he looks at the ladies interview him and he goes, have you
ever gotten anything for free? And's gonna just does the eyebrow like
wiggle thing, it's a cosy wiggle thing. Now, it just looks awful because like we know now.
Did you ever see him in that fucking with what's a face from mine and family?
With no. So fear of aghara? Oh no. Oh my god.
Bring up Cosby and so because he does that one of my favorite Sophia Vaghara impression.
Oh really?
I
Yes, Colin. Thank you.
It's on
10
When you see this it's insane. Cosby and Sophia for gara.
And you know, I was on
I did this 9-11 benefit by the way. Yeah, and
So Cosby was upstairs. So he went at the meet me after my said he sure my girlfriend was with me at the time
And I said do you want to go up and she goes? Yeah, yeah, it was me Cosby
We go up to meet him. He's in this room by himself upstairs. She's wearing sweats. He's out doing on yet
So I'm gonna cigar sees me sees her spends the whole 10 minutes
Jokingly, but it's serious like this. He's me his she is like so I wanted to
Just looking at her I wanted to say your set was very interest
For 10 minutes where even she was not like some uptight thing was like that was a little much
Well watch this so if you have a guy, did you tell him that does he?
Did you meet him when
you did the show the cause we
show no I mean I'm bad but he
doesn't remember that right
was on it for two minutes guys
just watch this I know God
God damn it no it's not it's
more than two minutes you lie
I'm not you're lying we go a
little bit further up
yeah see he got out of the chair
and moved to try to next to the heart.
He got out of his desk.
Time for me to go to sleep.
Where he was guest hosting?
He was guest hosting and he got out of his desk and moved to his desk.
I was inside, eh?
Then I go to sleep faster.
I knew I should have brought the other outfit.
No, the other fellow.
LAUGHTER What outfit do you have for?
I had like two minutes ago, I had a more subtle outfit.
And when I was putting it on, my lips went all over it,
and I had to change to minutes.
You mean when you pulled it over your head?
Yes, I pulled over your lips.
But that would be inside.
No, no, no, no, because it wasn't feeling...
Let me ask you.
You know, we latins like our things tight.
I know, but...
But...
Dude, he is...
You can just see him being...
I mean, you can see the creep coming off.
He really moved from the desk.
The joke was a chair, so he had to move over.
But it was like a real...
Him being creepy with the way he talks to,
he was like,
Well, let's look at the rubber rubber. That's just fucking weird. But it was like a real him being creepy with the way he talks to her is like
That's just fucking weird
So the creep vibes before the 9-11 benefit was there ever any like
Yeah, but I mean everybody was said he was always hitting on girls But nobody said he was putting the sleep buddy. Everybody was doing was trying to fuck everybody but
But nothing was put us
Yeah, they just knew that the you know, he came off creepy
You just that at the end there like you just realized he goes I kind of fell asleep in that dressing room
Son of a bitch that wasn't 10 minutes at all that was an hour and 30
But a lot of people loved it, but I was always like his comedy. It was not my style
I'll be honest. Yeah, I just was all of that. Yeah, it's too cute. See, but plus I hate
We're stuck in a lot of I like to help when anybody
Act positions themselves in comedy like I'm the normal one my family's fucking crazy
Tom just directly guy just a little bit corny and date yourself is that so much I ask
I like the dabble around some sleep bus
On top of a dead body
Can be very erotic if you hold it correct
Colin thank you very much for coming back
Very much
Colin Quinn dot com go check out his new hour the last best hope. I've seen it. It's fucking hilarious
Look Frank. It's changed a lot. Don't worry. I'm gonna come see it again. Good is a new 20 really 25
I loved it. I went and saw it the first time and I loved it
So I'm gonna come check it out again Colin Quinn dot com for where he'll be in Bethlehem PA Washington DC Wilmington
South Orange New Jersey. That's big
The oranges. Yeah dude. They have the same accent as Philly
Yeah, don't forget Milwaukee big J's gonna be at the Milwaukee improv this Thursday through Saturday
Then he will be in Dallas, New York City, BigJayCombiny.com for tickets.
Dang it.
So it's going to be a Rochester comedy to Carl Sincere through the fifth Acme Comedy Club
miniapolis 17 through the 19th and Good Nights after that tickets and all 28 Dan Soder.com.
Colin, we love you.
Thank you very much.
We love you guys.
We love you, Camperes.
Enjoy the pre-tap.
We'll see you on Monday.
You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings
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