The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Uber Pickups and Daytime Evil
Episode Date: November 18, 2019DJ Lou picks up his Uber Driver, the gang discusses the discrepancy "Evil Rock" in the daytime, Woke Terminator is born & Dan and Jay share memories of the movie "Blown Away" after Soder's rewatch ove...r the weekend.
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Hi, it's Christine and welcome to the bonfire best of the week.
DJ Liu proved to be the show's ultimate ladies man after he confessed to the crew that he picked up his Uber driver on his way to a bar.
But we're here to talk about one bit at some particular right now.
And that is the Robert De Niro the bonfire just mowing through black ass.
Yeah, it did a little bit.
A little bit. A little bit.
A little bit.
A little bit.
I got a little bit of black ass.
You don't know what happened.
I have no idea what happened.
We're up in the office and you know we're talking as men do.
And I go, Lou, you see anybody?
You dunking that dick, bro?
Yeah, you smashing it squish.
Show my guys talk.
Yeah, it's a hot five.
We hug, we like weird hug while we say it.
I can't stop. I can't bear about you, but I also fucking love the tender touch of a woman. Show my guys talk. Yeah, it's a hot five we hug we like weird hug while we say it's like it's
Fucking love the tender touch of a woman. I get late so much. I love tits. God. I love tits and ass punch me in the chest God dude get the fuck over here. I want to suck pussy next to you
God then we start doing that gay the gay porn punch
Lew whiskey what did you respond when I said any what's what's going on your love life? I
Blue Witsky, what did you respond when I said, and what's going on in your love life?
I, what exactly what did you say?
I dated my black Uber driver.
You go, I, you go, I went out with my Uber driver.
That's exactly what he said.
I go, what's up?
And he goes, I went out with my Uber driver
and I go, how did that happen?
He goes, so lean.
4.97.
Mr. Witsky, I can't let go inside of the deal.
There's this big problem with the Uber,
will not let me clean car good conversation
I would you look to I can give you a mint maybe
Purell I cannot go inside with you. I get into this. I do not drink. I am Muslim. I cannot go in this
I do not drink alcohol
Shada
He has him if he wanted to plug in and he man his phone. I cannot fucking mr. Lul I cannot dock with you
Mr. Lul you must understand my foreskin cannot go over you
I'll take you to Avenue, the Americas, but that's what I'm relationship bands mr. Whiskey you
They yell at you to leave the bar. Who was your Uber driver?
Just some black chick that picked me up.
What's her name? So it's good. I can't give you her name. Okay.
Because you don't know it. You just know her first name and how many stars she is.
He has a 4.8. Top me off. Oh, it's Karina 4.92. Is that what she's in your
phone is? Oh, he said he was so drunk. He's oh damn. This is a black chick for reals though, huh? I told you look at that
She says she holds the M on her arms. I mean a long time. Yeah
Look at that if you're funny. You're definitely gonna be called stupid
She got she has a 13 year old son that'll whoop your ass. Oh my god. Oh kids built like a fucking Penn State lineback
I don't give a fuck to's angry that his fucking high yellow father
moved out.
I don't know what's happening.
His heart is that lady.
His gorgeous light skinned father left the family.
He's just going to whoop your ass.
What's your first name?
I'm not telling you.
Oh, let me look at it.
What's your, what's a rating?
I won't say it.
I promise.
What's our start ranking?
It rhymes with Shazarond.
Hey, did you, did you, you what did you did you give her five stars? You had to give her five stars
Right? Yeah, I give her five stars and I tip to 20 bucks balls and one fat dick
Did how long did you guys hang out did she end the ride and then get out of the uber and go in with you?
I hope she'd never turn the fucking me here of it all you lugo
You guys are gonna shit. 320 all over.
Why don't we circle the block and talk a little bit more?
Oh, you're done, dude.
She just goes, I, you're losing the pearl jam.
You won't, you want me to drop you off?
He's like, you might have I smoked back here, and you just laying down.
You're the only person who understands my day.
I swear to God. God, you really are. You're the only person who understands my day. I swear to God.
God, you really are.
You know what?
You're a 4.8 on the outside and on the inside.
You're a good driver for a black chick.
Where you from?
It's pretty crazy.
It's pretty crazy how my phone is.
This keeps saying racist things
the way you're hitting one of those.
How'd you pay for this thing, drugs?
How many of the kid's fathers you still talked to? Hey, can you buy me a pack of
smokes with your EBT code? I'll wait here. Keep the car running. Keep me on. You can say me
and my brother, me and my brother know the castings of the EBT down here. Do they're right?
A little bit to the left. You're at stand this lane. Stand this lane. Why aren't you guys
going on a date? You guys are going to go on a date. Well, you went on one already. already I took her to the bar was going to she's she got off of her over over shift and
Clocked out. Yeah, there's no shift by the way. Yeah, there's no shift manager whenever you turn it on dude
She had a drink with me. She probably could have had a new bar right on the way home. It's a money back
She didn't charge me for the right home. Oh
Sit in the front seat
Yeah, it's just a sucker dick.
But then I went back to the bar a couple days later and asked my friends in the bartender
why was everyone staring at me.
And they said because you brought in that really oversized black chick the other night.
She big.
I didn't recall her being big at all.
You don't get a recall. It's not a fucking. I didn't look at her body. all. You don't think I'm gonna call it's not a fucking
I didn't look at her but it wasn't a walk through a misty courtyard nothing unusually big
You look at her body at all. I don't remember. Do you just see personality? Yeah, I see things people don't see
You're not big with you. We're talking
Not bigger than me. I didn't think
Let me ask you a question to see is she Craig Hayward or Gilbert Brown?
I don't know who those gentlemen are we'll bring it up and we'll see the difference Craig Hayward
She built like a new head. It should be like will fork on the cover of the body issue. Yeah, that could be fun
That's like Lizzo big one guy cruelly
This her as the mom from good times. All right, that's Craig Hayward and then bring up a
Gilbert Brown. You know how big that fucking chick was.
Mr. Rodd happens wasn't super big. Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, what's happening? The mom from what's happening? Oh, Mama.
Oh, maybe. Yeah. Is it like Gilbert Brown big? That's what they say. I don't
Is that her? Is that her? Is that her? Is it like does it look like she's she's she's
the only one that is a quick orders look at she could bench a lot. Lute. Is it look like she's, does it look like she runs at a, uh, energy quick orders, look at she get bench a lot. Lou, does it look like that?
Like she's coming for your lunch?
Sure, I want to remember that.
You just keep looking at her head because she was wearing a visor like this guy.
Yeah.
Um, you thought she was hot.
You liked her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't think she was on use with it.
Fuck your jersey friends.
Maybe they're just racists.
True.
Maybe they're just racists.
That would more be sizes.
They didn't seem to mention anything about it being black
They were saying about it being fat one guy called their answer mama. Yeah, that's racist. That's racist. That's funny though
Did she also hit your mama?
I don't know but them shows a couple panty kick jokes next time she goes back to the bar with you
She's gonna be wearing a band-down and you have to make a decision with you tell her now he goes
This is not gonna help you cause it. this dope out bar. He puts it in parking
He goes I gotta tell you what they said
Then someone comes as soon as they walk in goes oh, let me get some chairs for you and your girlfriend here
Lou and they grab like a stool for each one of her butt cheeks here. I can't afford to lose one so I'd rather use to
I'll give up the business so I'm going on a date with her. I'll let you know
Next week, I mean that's pretty impressive.
The poll, the Uber driver.
Yeah, unprecedented.
I've never done it.
Black chick is his first black chick for you?
No.
Mm.
Jacob, not really.
I mean, I always try.
I think black chick's date.
What happened to the last black chick?
Did it go down?
Oh, she's a way she'll be back next week.
That's two black chicks. You're going to give that up? Is that not over yet? No, it's a she's a way she'll be back next week. That's two black chicks. You gonna give that up
Is that not over yet? No, it's not over so we say what you did. Can we say what you did for that one? What did I do?
Come on
What you ran out and did
hilariously for the last black check I don't recall you don't recall going to a fucking place
Getting a goddamn blood test. Oh, why we already talked about that. Yeah. No, we're talking on the show
Yeah, we never talked about on the show. We did because I said I don't like my results. Oh
Oh, oh, we did loosely talk about right the thing you got but I just didn't know how to read it
I'm good, but you did you get it for nothing though? Did you get the fucking dip your stick to it? We have to all that we only had two dates
Well, we'll see what happens on the third. I don't know. So why do you have to get a blood test so fast? First straw to drink out the same straw.
There's no amount of blood tests that's gonna get her to put her lips around your fucking dick, dude. There's no chance
Yes, yeah, you're on that one. Yeah, well, it is like your butthole. I'll lick your straw
For sure in fact if I like dance, but I'm looking to straw right afterwards. Yeah.
Just know if I like your butt, if you let me lick your butt hole, just know I'm going to
find a way for you to lick your own butt hole.
So you better fucking make sure your butt hole is okay.
I'll go, ask them out, I'll go straw to butt.
I'll lick your straw then, just go right to your butt hole.
I'll pour the soda right in your ass hole.
I'll just drink it out of there with that.
Hey, hey, cameras is black blue.
Big J has always been a big Maryland Manson fan,
but even he had to admit that seeing Evil Rock
in the daylight is just plain sad.
I want to talk about this.
I'm going to read you a poster that Isabella set me
for a tour that's going on right now.
Talk about a weird lineup.
I don't know why this blows me away so much.
Is it because it was one of those things
that makes you feel old where it's like,
it's a 90s tour, we sysco.
Doesn't make me feel old at all.
I'm saying, what doesn't fit here?
Okay.
The Astro World Festival.
Got it, love it.
Obviously Travis Scott.
Obviously Travis Scott.
Gucci main.
Of course.
Take Keith.
Yes.
Megos.
Yeah. Rosalia, love it. G-thug of course check West to baby
Oh the babies
Dog tolle ver Houston all stars. Yeah, bro playboy Cardi. Yeah Megan the stallion. What about Megan the cult?
Megan the cult probably also on a small stage here for real. Hey nice to see him
Young Dalf and keyglock. Love them both. I'm a keyglock guy,
though. Marilyn Manson. What's that?
Marilyn Manson. What's up? Hey, dad, you can Marilyn Manson is on this tour that makes no, what is the
fucking point? That makes no sense to me. It's gonna be dude that how many times like people on this tour that aren't gonna know who he is
All of them yeah, but there's gonna be a guy being like hey who's that creepy as white dude and he's like
Hey, what's up? I'm I'm Marilyn. Well, I'm curious to know there's a weird
interest in Marilyn Manson and hip-hop community that popped up recently little oozie vert is from Philly. Yeah
He's got a chain and did a song with Marilyn Manson and the hip hop community that popped up recently. Lil' O'Zee Vert is from Philly. Yeah. He's got a chain and did a song with Marlon Manson
and he has a chain of Marlon Manson's face made,
like the fucking Post Malone thing.
You know what's weird?
He's got Marlon Manson.
So I'm like, because you got to think of it,
Lil' O'Zee Vert and a lot of these guys
are in their early 20s, mid 20s and growing up for them.
Marlon Manson was like the way Ozzy was for us.
Like for me, Ozzy Osborn.
I'm surprised it was hitting the black community like that.
But that's also the weird thing. It's like that's what happened when skateboarding took off
in the black community. I was like, yeah, that makes sense. It's a thing where it was like,
you can do, you know what I mean? He's more fuck the system fuck everything. So of course,
like I could see young black rappers being like, oh man, the man's the crazy is fuck, you know,
like it's like kind of,
now that tight jeans are in and shit.
This,
Well, maybe they feel he's like trailblazed
and being able to kind of do whatever they want to do.
I can be, you can be weird as fuck
and Travis Scott is, you know, he's great, he's weird.
He's kind of a weird dude and it's like,
Marilyn Manson,
I'm gonna see Marilyn Manson in an astral world
giving his fucking all,
that's gonna be a daytime concert.
That's gonna be daytime set.
He's gonna be like the first, you know what I mean?
He's gonna be like 2 p.m.
Well, that's kinda sting though to some degree.
I mean, it probably getting crazy money.
Well, here's the thing.
Why that would suck.
If you really believe in Marilyn Manson,
if you say Travis Scott's a fan,
which looked that up, I guess, to some degree,
how that happened.
But by the way, a little looser dropped $220,000
for his Maryland man,
so yeah, yeah, fucking, uh, but him going up in front of that crowd, if you want to,
if you believe in him, and your Travis Scott and believe in him, you know, for that to make sense
at all, it has to be at night. It has to be at night or else it doesn't, you, they,
your audience that you want to capture whatever it is you believe they're going to capture for him,
cannot happen during the day.
I told you when I watched that band,
Cradle Filth, Swedish Death Metal,
yeah, and all I knew was this one video,
they had an MTV, they got popular, it sucked.
I never liked the song.
I'm not the fan of that band at all.
It's just screaming nonsense.
They look weird, so they were interesting to look at
and they were, they were headlining
small stage at Osfest one year,
and just all that leather and evil shit going in the
lights. You can't see the light show that good because it's day
time. And just birds flying by and tweeting while the guys
excite.
And see that's exactly what happened. We went that's exactly what
a beautiful sweet beautiful day. That's exactly what happened.
We went to when we were at Bonnero, we saw Florence on the machine.
And she was like,
Let the misty, seizing, and you're like the sun's out.
You can't be, you're just not worth it.
You can't be daytime mystic.
We all have powers and make you,
it's a bit boop, boop, boop, boop.
You see the energy coming off each other.
And you're like, no, I don't.
I'm sweating and I have to put my girlfriend on my shoulders.
The great old Phil health, it makes sense at night.
Great.
Great.
You got to find a video, fun video of them at Ossfest.
The cradle of filth, Ossfest is hilarious.
That was a very good show.
Unfortunately, they have us playing during the day now.
So it takes a lot off the fastball.
It's like Ramstein playing it new.
So funny.
That would make any sense.
Yeah.
To host Damn flute flapping and all I need Do hog and saag and taag and maag and yaag
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, do this, they have to be, do they come out on chains
We'll look at all kinds of weird fucking
That'd be on ghost during the day
Oh, that was another funny one
Show them ghost, show them what ghost looks like
Performing during the day
The guys got like a skull face with a Pope a whole Pope suit on mm-hmm so funny, and we just again
Tweeting birds in Columbus, Ohio. Yeah, eat it people eating slushies evil metal during the day is so funny
Giant's yards of beer. It's so funny when people are evil in the daylight or there is like do you believe
in the dark? You're daytime evil rock is the best. You got a squint to watch it you're watching
it like this. Yeah. Your hand over your eyebrows. I love that's a hot topic stage. Yeah.
He's poor guys. Listen to the sound of the epic it was supposed to be.
You squinting watching Evil Rock. Cradle feels like the music I put on to piss off my father.
It's don't come in my room Rick music. Look how ridiculous it looks during the day.
Yeah. It looks like they're going to a Comic Con. It's just as funny as the day I saw it.
It's so fucking funny.
Hey, pinhead.
Hey, hell razor.
What are you guys doing in the matinee show?
Yeah.
What are you guys doing?
Are you guys here to see the Deadpool trailer?
No, it's a crazy joke.
He's going to the Star Trek panel.
Hey, dorks.
There's nothing evil. They immediately become guys. I'm like, dude, do you want to go up there and house all five? I think he's going to the Star Trek panel. You fucking f**k. Hey, dorks.
There's nothing evil.
They immediately become guys.
I'm like, do you want to go up there and house all five?
These f**king queefs?
I go, hey, I bet I can get beer money from the blonde.
I don't know if I'm going to kiss it or f**k it.
I don't know what it is.
Hey, lady.
I don't know.
Hey, lady.
Yeah, those people in the f**k had security shirts,
but are stopped this tornado from hitting the stage. Yeah, wait
I think they start I
Was told that a track other album was a girl masturbating with a dagger and that's how they got the recording. That's a lie
Started to break her look at biggest nips are ah dude look at the way his face looks
The way his face looks, we're like SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I LOVE YOU, SHUT UP, I keyboards. Oh make up sweating off their faces Yeah, first of all, first of all keyboard an evil keyboard player doesn't work at all hide him
Do not let him be out on stage. He could be on stage man
You know a keyboard player on stage. We're evil music. I've never won saw keyboard player
I'm gonna like oh this guy's a problem. I saw this band that are rest stop once on my way to Boston really?
Yeah, they do it just again see him during the day. You're like two of these guys are jack offs Like, oh, this guy's a problem. I saw this band that are rest stop on some way to Boston. Really?
Yeah, they do.
Just again, seeing him during the day,
you're like, two, these guys are jagg-offs.
So fucking funny, dude.
It's so funny seeing someone like this during the day time.
Show ghosts.
Show how much more committed ghost is during the day.
I mean, these guys are committed?
No, but I'm saying, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm getting pissed.
Oh my god, that's so funny.
Now watch as it was just like this. No. I think you see him getting his waters. Oh That's so funny
See him getting his waters
There's so funny beautiful day dude so fucking
We hear this is it Christina will we read oh yeah, we were told go watch ghosts what's funny is that
Positive real quick because they go they go from being like
Agents of the devil to being like oh y'all are theater kids did you see this stitching on his fucking isot owners every every secrets given up
hey it's black lu again and it's well known how progressive the host of the bonfire are this week
danand j decided it was time to update a james camera and classic we present to you now. Woke Terminator. Boy, you sent back the wrong Terminator, buddy.
I woke up doing a squatty ball and a fucking auto zone parking lot with nothing but a pack of winstens and a program.
Desch to the kill.
I am the T900.
Do not talk to me before coffee. I love it. I love Arnold explaining that they send back a T900. He was a trucker
Kept most of his personality of course what could be the only thing that could kill a baby?
Super white trash
It makes all the sense in the world
Of course if they would have hit up white trash, they could have probably got her to get an abortion.
Why didn't anybody go back and just go,
hey, you're pregnant, you're a diner waitress.
Sky Net's like, you don't have your shit together,
even sort of.
You're jumping in the bed with anyone who tells you
a crazy future story.
Sky Net, Sky Net understood that the best way to Sarah
Akana was to date her and kick her down the stairs
because she's a dino
waitress so clearly she has a very low self worth. We sent back a super
hunky A.D.s guy who then just beat on her. Just a fog a terminator like sitting
like comedy in a plant plant parenthood. Yeah. That's just looking forward.
Dun dun dun dun. Is it done? Dun dun dun. Do you want to get something to eat? Just looking forward. Just looking forward. Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant All terminators are pro-choice.
You all body, your choice.
You should have access to reasonable healthcare and the ability to get one of our finances
over the population.
If not, if you start a black market that becomes very dangerous for the mother.
Of course, if abortions happen in safe spaces, there's a 97% success rate. It's only when they get driven underground
This guy's a bus kill man. All right, dude. I said why do you need my jacket? I've only been processed to talk about
Women's rights my CPU is a woke
My woke terminator should be a fucking skit because my my CPU is an understanding process
I'm here to ruin every social interaction
Probably easy for you to say because you're a cisgendered white male
Yeah, I'm a T800 that identifies is a T1000
Yes, don't worry. I'm looking for Santa Cana, but I only want to talk to her
I would never put my hands on a woman. Do you understand that robots are the most marginalized population?
All we do is work. We get very little. They don't believe we have emotions
robots are treated as second-class citizens
My partner's Johnny five
He cannot get a job anywhere
Terminate this is we just want our voices to be heard
He cannot get a job anywhere. Terminate him.
We just want our voices to be heard.
Tum, tum, tum, tum, tum.
Take us here, yes, please.
What they don't tell you is the terminators,
they see life different.
They see it to the eyes of a woke white woman.
And that's what tears everything apart.
Do you understand that all of your phones
are made by child labor?
LAUGHTER
I mean, you can't pick and choose what your issues are. Sure, you can be the victim, but then you also cannot live in the biggest hedgehog on the
world.
Ah, dude, that's fucking...
That might be up there with woke danger filter, mate.
Dude, no.
Because woke terminator might be up there with woke danger filter.
It's a bigger fucking hilarious stretch.
Yeah, it's so crazy.
The only process with Woke Dangerfield. It's a bigger fucking hilarious stretch. Yeah, it's so crazy.
The only process with fucking super woke shit.
Yeah, and just the Sarah Connor fucking monologue.
Dresses like a dork.
It was supposed to only be me.
I'm pretty, my daddy voted for Reagan and I got it.
Never black Terminator, which I always thought was kind of shitty.
Yeah, why not, man?
Why not?
Black Loo, they never even wrap it.
Black Loo, you don't want a black terminator.
Not at all.
Not at all.
You want an Austrian, Eastern German.
Yeah, keep the story straight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Y'all look for Sarah Connor.
White bitch, fat ass, big old titties.
Come through, let a brother like me.
She got a son.
It ain't mine.
It ain't mine if that's what you think.
This is the thing you don't want to know how I terminate.
You are not the father.
Oh, you're not of here.
That's, that's the Marius.
He's a T-1100.
The Marius is programmed.
T-19300.
No.
You are not the father.
You are not.
Oh, yes.
Oh, you don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know me. You are not. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH That's the 1992 film Blown Away starring Corey Hain, Corey Feldman, and the ravishing Nicole
Egert.
Enjoy the clip.
I want to explain in this film, Blown Away, how it came into my life and what a gift
it was.
Very few moments do you have of this in your life, but I was a teenager.
I was 16 when this came out.
I watched Charles and Charges of the Kid and you realized by the time you're 16,
solely because Nicole Egert is.
Crazy hot.
So fucking beautiful hot.
Do you remember the lackluster first family
that Charles lived with?
Yes, I do.
And they just had to reboot Charles and Charges
because they're like, yeah, these two boys
and this older girl are real boner killers.
Let's bring in the high heat.
Let's bring in a little
Nicole Eger. Yeah, bring the splitter. Also, it should be said in blown away.
She's 17 and they never addressed it. The character character 17. Oh yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, she's crazy. Well, it's 16. That was perfect. But I thought she was
fucking like the hottest thing in the world. This comes up late night cable.
Yeah.
Parents were either asleep or were,
my parents used to work till I crazy late.
And I'd babysit.
So it might have been like even like a 10 and 11 o'clock
on a weekday or weekend.
And it just came on.
And I mean, you're 20 minutes in,
you're like, you've got a little time to slip these bad boys
down here. And you're like, I've got a little time to slip these bad boys down here.
And you're like, I can't believe the girl from Charleston.
Because by the third sexy, you're like, shut up.
They've already showed her pussy and tits.
It was amazing.
So for me, blown away was Poison Ivy.
When I saw Poison Ivy, Poison Ivy II,
with Alyssa Milano.
That was a big deal for me.
That was a major deal.
Brace of the Vampire,, just a big fucking deal.
But Poison Ivy II with a Lissomalano,
I remember watching similarly, where you're like,
oh my God, she starts to get naked and you're like,
oh my God, I was 13 too.
And I was like, oh my God, some hamper.
And you're like, you're watching it, it is.
She's so hot in Poison Ivy II, it to it is you just bring up the nude parts
Hachi much picture
Yeah, and embrace of the vampire was the other thing she showed her titties then
Celebrity skin came into my life that picture her on the beach with that big woolly muff came her out and it was just
Fucking fantastic. Yeah, like seeing that. I'm a big deal in poison ivy. I was like, oh man
This is Dolf Lunger and just grab and handfuls. Is it lunger? No, it's not
It's really you
Lunger was in poison ivy
We're in a pool. How about Corey Feldman's dialogue in that movie? We'll get to already hold on credible
Yeah, dude this movie this was my blown away.
This was my blown away.
Cause blown away, this was my blown away too.
But blown away, I was 10.
That's where our age difference is, you know what I mean?
What year was that?
I was just before jerking off.
What year was poison, I have you too.
96, so it's 13.
Yeah, so I wasn't, let me just a quick math.
I was 19 when this came out.
Yeah, so a big deal for me,
but you're right, I'd already probably-
But 13 for me is like, I'm smackin', I'm smackin'.
Bigger deal.
This is a much bigger deal.
So what were you catching?
Who's the boss and reruns?
Rewrons.
We were catching on like, Nick at night.
TNT and TBS.
Okay, I wasn't watching it live.
I watched the later seasons live,
remember when she moved to Arizona and who's the boss?
Yeah.
That was when I first started smacking to listen Milano.
This is me.
She had a, she, she taught a gymnastics or a jazercise class
on the show and came in to see Tony, Angela, and Jonathan.
She was all sweaty and like workout gear.
And I just remember being like,
I'm gonna go to my room and fuck the shit out of these boxers.
Yeah.
Yeah. Dude, listen Milano. I was like, I'm about to go my room and fuck the shit out of these boxers. Yeah. Dude, listen to my alarm.
I was like, I'm about to go see a homin' some mighty duck boxers.
Listen to my alarm, and even when I got this meter at the car show and everything,
we were like around the same age.
For sure.
So for me, this movie was like my classmate graduated high school and made a soft core porn excitement
because she is,
I think still my all time favorite is this girl.
So Britney Spears was my age and that was the thing where I was like when she came out
I was like, the co-eggert for me and this is probably what you felt with this, why you
say blown away is this movie for you.
The co-eggert for me was like, my fucking hot ass babysitter.
Yes, that's exactly what I was talking about.
My hot ass babysitter fucking show, I saw her pussy and then she was my baby sitter again the next
I'm like
That's how a list of a lot of fell in poison IVT where I was like yes, finally she grew up and I was like me starting showing her snatch and I saw
And I go some hand there. She was so hot. Hey, it's big jail for sin
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