The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Vegas Baby (w/ Dan St. Germain, Kareem Green & Richelle Ryan)

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

 Jay and Dan are back from Vegas and talk about their dad bods, picking up girls poolside and more in Sin City. Guests Dan St. Germain and Kareem Green talk about awful movie bio pics with the bonfire hosts. Richelle Ryan talks about helping the youth movement in the porn industry.

You're listening to Comedy Central! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. O'Kristen. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio, SiriusXM95, or on demand on the SiriusXM app. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire at sex out there.

Hey Camberz is Blackloo and welcome to the bonfires best of the week. Jay and Dan were both in Vegas over the weekend. The bonfire hosts enjoyed a gathering of comic friends in Sin City. Listen in as they describe their eventful day at the pool, including dadbods, girls, and more. Here we spend some time, we did some pools. It was fun hanging out in a pool with a bunch of comedians because first off, we all got in the first day and we were in the pool and Jay just swam up and goes, we are the dad bod squad.

Yeah, dad bod squad for sure. I was like, what I was really doing, it's all my nightmare. Getting ready to go down to the pool, Dan's talking me off a ledge of going like, I'm like, do you vlog, I'm like, do you vlog? I'm like, do you vlog? You look good, I've seen Jay with his shirt off,

you're fine, you're gonna be great. That's what happened that was funny when everyone got down there and took off their shirts. I'm like, why am I being... Yeah, man. It's a bunch of comics. I was like, I go, I go, now I'm saying that they are wrong. I'm going, no guys, we should all be sitting in that cabana

ashamed of ourselves with shirts on. 100%. If you guys are gonna get in, then I'll go in. Like, I stack up and hear somewhere. My favorite, I'm definitely not the worst body in the group. My favorite. My favorite was Chris to Stefano had these waitresses meet us the second day. And for Korean girls from Canada. Which Canada. He just met four Korean girls from Canada the night before. So we show up. Day one, it's all dudes at the pool so it's like us just like sitting there being like this is hot and then we like leave second day christy christy d's like hey i got this group coming i got this group

uh the asian girls come the Korean girls come and hang out in the pool jacee's the funniest thing which he can't yell out for me he can't i'm talking to derosa in the pool and i didn't look over. If I were to say, I tell you what I really would do. I would say your name, it would have detracted him from doing what he was doing. Can I tell you a story in a story? Sure. Because you caught me later and I bet you don't remember this. But while you were trying to get my attention,

I was concentrating on peeing in the pool. Yeah. And then I couldn't because I was talking. So I swam over to the stairs. This is great. You see myself in the stairs? And so I swim over. I swim over to my go, hey buddy, I go, what's up?

And he's like, nothing, I'm cool. I go, I didn't think you weren't cool. I just stood over by yourself, but he stood for, he's like, I'm fine. And he goes, no, I hung out for a while. Yeah. And then he hung out for like a good five minutes ago. And then he goes, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go pee. Now I go, he's like, I'm fine, and he goes, No, I hung out for a while. Yeah, and then he hung out for like a good five minutes ago. And then he goes, I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go pee.

Now I go, where's the bathroom, and Jay goes, go in the pool, and I was like, I was trying to, No, that's not what happened, I figured it out. You, I promise you, you go, you should go in the pool, and I went, I was trying to, and you went, that's why you were over here. Oh, I had to think, I did, yeah, I was over here, and he was like, you sectioned off to go to, yeah, yeah, because you go, just go right here, I was like, yeah, it's trying to, open here. Oh, I had the thing. I had the thing. Yeah, I was super here. And he was like, you sectioned off to go to, yeah.

Cause he goes, just go right here. I was like, he has trying to. And he's like, oh, I swam over. So you try to pee and you just see your fat friend with a shirt off going this. And he's like, but not that Jay's locking up super cash to, like, hey bud. I'm like, just having a pool combo.

I'm like, I'm all right. I'm like, maybe a, maybe a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a'm like I'm alright. Maybe a maybe a daquery in my hand. Hey dad. What's going on? I'm just trying to hang in a leak. You having a whiz in the pool are you? It awesome. You know they got that stuff to turn everything all green around you. That would have been even better. I wish I had to. I wish I had to. I'm waiting to get inked. I can't wait to get inked. When they fucking make me look like a squid. Dan's pissing in the pool. I love it. I'm like, I'm full of swim away so fast. It's funny, kind of like you're farting a thing. I find it so funny that you were trying to actively piss in a pool

two feet away from just like smoking hot Asian girls. Yeah, the other way, the other way, just went there. And Asian girls were pretty far away. No, right behind you, because that's what happened happened that's when Chris came in true right behind you well it's all warm and they're on raft you're welcome you're welcome ladies they weren't all on a raft they weren't refugee there's one raft remember we pulled up beside them and pulled them on some one of them was laying stomach down on the float and her butt was so nice that it just you just like it was like a

Lighthouse like you just watched everyone look at it everyone's like whoa What the fuck cuz it was one of those Asian girl with a with a roundie fat butt Yeah, and set fact someone we were with I believe was like all right if you lay on the raft you have to lay on your stomach But so there was four of these really cute Canadian Korean girls and I had my back to them I was trying to piss. I couldn't do it but Jay saw it and he couldn't get my attention. So Chris the Stefano we then said and they should be said that Chris the Stefano is a coxman.

Oh yeah. He is a ladies man like I've never seen it. It's impressive to the point that you're like, wow. All this said by the way. All this said. Yeah. All this said by the way. Dad bod. Well, yeah. Yeah. That shows you how much charisma. It's not like a terrible. No, no, he's not a terrible body or anything. I'm just saying like for some reason, Chris is faces so handsome that I thought he was gonna have, I thought he was gonna be a little bit of a...

We thought he looked like he was gonna Ronnie from Drizzy Shore. No, not like that, but like... Look at him. He's not heavy at all, so it's not like he looks great and close. Dress is great. I'm just saying, I'm surprised, I thought he was gonna be like possibly like like a tight stomach You know, I mean like like right. I was just surprised that it was but he's also like he's not a kid anymore either Sure, I mean 30 and it's about oh, listen, I'd be I'd pray to have his body

I'm just saying I thought he was gonna be like more jet He didn't give a shit either. He just fucking all charisma and that fucking his giggly And I'm saying their boy're like just look at my killing it. So he has healing it for beautiful Korean girls from Canada in the pool. And he's got these other two waitresses that are bottle waitresses that are one of them shows

up and I'm like, oh, you're like you're a dream girl in a movie. You're dream girl in a movie hot. You're like a throw in a wall. If she turned to me and been like, hey, leave this all behind. I'd probably be like, yeah, yeah, where do you want to live? Where do you want to live? Jacob and I'll show you how to make this show.

I'll tell you there was a thong. I'll tell you I wanted to fucking fight everybody. I'll tell you this. She was hot. I don't know if it's throwing your life away. Dude, she had, but I mean, she's from Louisiana. So she had a little bit of a southern accent her butt was unbelievable and Christy was on it like Stank all of the ride back to the hotel that night in the car me and Dan were definitely doing the fucking yeah thing

We did with a parasol in here. Yeah, we're both Chris is probably back in the back seat fingering her She's like my cheeks are hurting guys is me and they're just fuckers do clowning in the front Is this funny, is pretty lady? Is this funny? Is this funny? She's like, you guys are so funny. Oh, Chris too many fingers. Oh, God. He's clown boys are home. Yeah, completely we're doing that.

So they, you know, this is like all going on in the pool, but I have my back to the Korean girls. And J.C.'s, this is great. Anytime, and it's just something, it just made a broader acknowledgement of something. When you catch somebody, like eyes with somebody who's coming to you, way far away, just happen to me upstairs

when the guy held the door for you guys. Yeah, I had to, you have to, watching the actions of someone, if you get out there, people like film this when you see it happening, if you have seen happening, it's gonna become a viral sensation. Things people do when you catch eyes way too early

and when Chris was coming back with four drinks for the Asian girls, only I saw this, but he was like slowly sinking down into the pool with the drinks. He's coming down the steps with four waters for four girls. And they just, and they see him, and they see him, but it's like too far away to talk necessarily yet.

So just watching Chris go by and be like the Like shaking your shoulders like it's like a little like dance that means nothing As he walked as he walked in he was like We just kept doing different ones Boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-boop-bo for four beautiful ladies. Yeah, and we were just doing every time you see somebody far away and say, go, there's always like some weird dance you got to do. Oh, you got the boys over there. I did the, the boys. I did today upstairs. I did the wide receiver to the run to the huddle.

With a guy held the door and I went, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a little bit of a show. Just a little, look, you crank your arms. You're not only running, but you cranking your arms like your jogging. I'm showing you, I'm moving. I'm doing my best, ma'am, just trying to get over arms, you're not only running, but you cranking your arms like your jogging. I'm showing you, I'm moving. I'm doing my best, ma'am, just trying to get over there, you know. Dude, yeah, we were fucking laughing about that,

like a bunch of idiots in the pool for, for, I mean, they had to have known when we were talking about them. It was great. It's, it's, it's, it's, oh yeah. Hey ladies, here we are, and it's just, God damn, that's such a funny moment. Everybody does it.

Everybody, everyone. I mean, it's just goddamn that's such a funny moment. We everybody does it everybody everyone I mean it's awkward spatial interaction. Yeah, just we can't talk but you acknowledge me So you have to have like a nonverbal conversation where like oh, I'm coming over. Oh, you know You are heavily heavily mouth. Thank you Yeah, but the best one is Chris coming into the water down the stairs. It's kind of cold water. So it's like Hey, it's black luigan and on Tuesday's show comedians dance in Germain and Karim green stop by and had a lively discussion about Ridiculous bio pick motifs with Dan and Jay. I'm gonna make a quick side note.

Can I jump into the TV shows? Yeah. I'm just gonna, on TV shows, I'm watching, I'm three episodes in, the only that are available of the Wu-Tang series. Is it good? Oh, yeah. It's good, but it is a completely fictitious story, I think. What's, you would know all these things.

So far in this tv show rayquan has tried to kill ghost face killer twice i think they would have come up in a documentary or two at some point if that was a real thing like it's crazy it's crazy how off track they're doing with every way to we do the entire they escaped a burning how cuz rayquan uh through a mile tough cocktail of burns down a house on purpose that rizza and ghost Fates are in. It's just ridiculous, but I am watching it and enjoying it. Dude, biopix, man.

My still, my favorite moment at a biopick is straight out of Compton when he's riding Friday. And he goes, this is hilarious. I'm sitting back there riding. Really? Actually, the best part of that, to me, was the best part of that same movie was when he is, that's so funny. When Snoop Dogg walks in the room and Dr. Dre is like Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do three and to the full like this just how to get together really notorious where he's like where

where Biggie calls is he's like I'm sick of being a guy so I will be a dad everybody I'm coming back I'm a different man that's my favorite thing in the movie Biggie called everyone for some reason before he got shot he called everyone he loved and said he was gonna turn his life around to be better yeah before he gets in the car with mom I love you I'm gonna be better son I'm gonna be better son. I'm gonna be better than my soul. He's gonna be a diggin' and macy too.

He's like, we changed our life to girls. He even did small calls. He goes, remember how I borrowed $20 from you in 1991? I got you what I call this. Baby, baby, I'm paying you back. I'm bringing it back with interest. And then the queen one was, they stopped. Queen was like,

they stopped them from arguing by going like hey guys stop Hey guy stop really People fighting they were fighting they go We're weving on that You guys gotta see the VH1 meatloaf bad at a hell true story. I did The guy from deadwood and it's like it's the guy who played that don't touch his ears and something about Yeah, the whole movie is just him flipping pianos over it record executive offices him flipping pianos over record executive offices. They don't get me.

Ah! And then almost gets stabbed by his dad. Can you bring up crazy? Can you look for Meatloaf VH1? Because you know it's VH1 and what means that the quality is just like a little shit here. Oh yeah. I was so poppy a bit.

Yeah. You know that Ray with Jamie Foxx was supposed to be like a VH1 movie someone was telling me that. Really? And there you say it was too good. The movie Ray was supposed to be like a VH1 movie someone was telling me that really like a really it was too good movie Ray was supposed to be like for a cable movie but Jamie Fox did such a good job that they're like we got to fuck up with this thing out wide release I don't know if that was a bar I don't know if that's a bar rumor or a real thing someone told me that weird like it sounds more like a

bar room it sounds totally like a bar room that's like that a bar because it was real because Jamie was in movies already I know go to a VH1 yeah I don't know because sometimes big stars take those cable movies for the money That was that we're what was it remember like every VH movie bomb Antonio Maderas is the story of I On Wednesday show exotic dancer Rischelle Ryan was our. And she talked about her role in helping the youth movement in the porn industry. Is there any one athlete that you would still like to bang? Yes. Who is it? Nick Boza. Hey, go Niners. Yeah. I was going to be bloody diva.

I love floppy diva. Oh, and grunk, but he has a girlfriend. Yeah, grunk. She's been on the show too. Grunk. Oh, it's girlfriend. Camille Costick. Oh, and grunk, but he has a girlfriend. Yeah, grunk. She's been on the show too. Crunk, oh, it's girlfriend? Camille Costick. Oh, it's awesome. Yeah, you like Nick Bozer? Just asked to go out in the back field. He's just beautiful.

He is beautiful and he was getting sacks. Well, he almost got it. He did, he got sacks. So you want a bang, Nick Bozer? Yes. A little gingerie from my taste. Well, dude. He's like, he's young too.

He's like a, I like him young. Well, I know for a teen's off soggy in a a show. You like young dudes. Yes, you do give to me young like what like what's your ideal age? Like 23 24. I'm sorry black lose 63 years old. Yeah, it looks fantastic But DJ Lou 24 I'm a jerk. He's a jerk. He's a Jersey 24 He's a little old. He's been smoking since he was nine. Yeah, he's from right outside of T-neck.

Yeah, so that's how he got his respect. He's been in a meth lab since he was 15 years old. So your ideal age is 23 years old? Yeah, 23, 24. What about what have you ever had sex with like a 19 year old? Yes. I had sex with a kid and the adult film. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Goddamn it, 17, nine, and like, where were you this morning?

He's like, I was not. Just nuts deep in the fucking hottest chick ever. Filming a scene for Mill for Big Tits, love Big Tits. Yeah, pretty much. So he's 18. He was 18, still in high school. That was pretty crazy.

What was his thing? Big Tits. We ain't out wake up in the morning and I'm bangin' up. He looked super young. Like he looked like he was about 14 years old. Oh, were you doing like the, it was your son's friend kind of seeing? My adopted son.

Ah, a top legal? Yeah. That's fine. Yeah, you're just like an AAU coach. He raised him up. Yeah, you're not gonna make any fuckers. You gotta replace your game. Who better to fuck than a person you raised a fuck right Yeah, you're probably getting a re-bought job contract. God. There's handing about those

You were on your team here. I believe we still talking about hey you should fuck off your job a fuck off your adopted children world They're yours There's yours, but there's no blood relation Do you go through the uncomfortable amount of paperwork? Yeah, you spend all that might take care of a kid It's not even didn't come out of your body. Fuck it. Come on. You best fuck it. Game on, dude.

Game on. We're a young species. Game on. I don't have this fucking crazy marble horse. I was trying to get by a date of date. What is whipping around? You know, I didn't know how to play the songs. That's a scene, right there.

Jay. Jordan Rock? Yeah. If they're in the band, they know how to play the songs this is the kid you bang Yes, doesn't he looks super young? Yeah, it looks like Ergo. Why he really does look young. Was it weird? It was will the whole set up of it? Obviously if you watch the trailer I think I get pick it up. I'm starting to realize that my acting roles really are dads and horns who lives bang their adopted kids. Damn, why are you not fucking a dad and stepmom porn? I go, this is this can't alope delicious, right, daughter?

I'm not gonna lie to you. I don't want to call bullshit on the storyline here, but the family's gonna know what you're doing. You're not hiding it well. Also, you making that black-candy watermelon? What the fuck? I didn't. That was the other thing. Yeah, I didn't realize how crazy that shit was. Yeah, they had me. It's got a menstrual shit.

Did you pull on this? Oh, Mr. Shale, I don't know about one of my pick-a-sup-a-lot. I did right here. Oh, dude, that is crazy. I was completely against this whole set up. It was way too, yeah, I was loved too much. What are the actors do when you're... Christine, are you gonna stop me from seeing this kid's fucking huge dick?

I've been waiting for this all time long? Don't you dare. Don't you dare. It's fair, it's that big. Well, now you're really gonna hurt my feelings when he pulls it out. It's not that big. Yeah, I bet. Also, do you...

I'm sorry, is that like a spoiler alert? When the other actors just pantomimes? Oh yeah, I'm gonna... I'm gonna have shrimp. It's just because... Come on! That time. It's just because he looks super, super young. No, if you pull my adult dick out, I don't know shrimp. It's just because it's, come on, that time.

It's just because he looks super, super young. No, if you put my adult dick out, I don't know if it makes a pass my butt and flies. Also, I love this, I love this, I also be nervous. Other family members in these kind of scenes, just have that cluelessness. My wife was sucking my adopted son's dick. I thought she just dropped forks all the time.

Oh my God, I thought her big tits made her drop forks. I'm a porn dad. I think you want you to get down there to pick up the forks, you can take you while to get up with those big little tits. I'm a porn dad. I don't know what's going on. Hey, it's Big J. Eaukerson, and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 p.m. Eastern

on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on Demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bonfire at SexM.