The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Walk Down The Hall (feat Andy Fiori)
Episode Date: July 13, 2022Our pal Andy Fiori plays the game "Would You Walk Down The Hall?" ...
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And now the bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Danzo.
I get the top of an M.I.F.O.S.1.
I get the top of an M.I.F.O.S.1.
Give me two.
It will be your same limited game.
I need two per episode.
I could get the top of an M.I.F.O.S.4.
My only hammerhead.
Yeah.
Slapdoodle.
You be Slapdoodle. That'd be Josh Adamire's name. Yeah. Slap doodle. You be slapped doodle.
That'd be Josh out of my eyes today.
That's snap doodle.
And I made that up.
What do you guys think?
And also I made up snap doodle.
Hey Andy Fury.
Hi buds.
It's what a fun family day.
It's family day at the bottom.
And Bob Feinstein's gone.
So we could,
because we could talk about S.
Yes.
Yes.
You guys might talk about S.E.X.
I wanted to build a fort for no girls. Oh, you want to have a no girls a lot of fortnight
Yeah, so we're gonna be more architecture take me back to those days bonfire serious XM faction talk 103
I'm Dan Soder. That's big J. O'Coursen joining us. He's returned home Andy Fury and then we have it's a dude crew day
It's a dude crew day dude crew dude crew Jacob DJ Lou and our blacking the black tiger Lewis
Christine here is she on the zoom maybe maybe not
What's the matter with her? She's waiting. She's in bed with the dog Oh, I'm a bit eating Christ knows what the hell is that look at look at Dawkins his face right on it make a move good job
Dawkins I'll just just went through. Good girl. Good girls.
What a good girl.
Go for this.
So big.
So big.
We've seen that filter making her look like a snack over there though, huh?
Damn.
Damn.
I'm telling you, I live with her.
I live with her last three days.
She does not look like it smells in there.
She's been living it sick.
It's like the the cask of death.
What are you doing? What are you doing? What you look fucking great on that screen?
Are you only fans in over there?
Hey guys, we're gonna take some medicine and take a nap top half-seating loose bread bottom halves only fans and as we speak
So we do we have the whole crew here. It's everybody, this is the bonfire family right, right here.
This is the definite invites to Thanksgiving.
I mean, not in real life, but you know what we're saying.
Big gym was just in here,
cause on Thursday's episode Terminator timeline,
you can hear us go through a,
take the Zoom off, Lou.
Equipment, mouth, auction, and-
Distracting.
Andie, a employee of series XM
The we were saying on Thursday's episode and you'll hear it. We go through a whole thing with Jay's headphone jacks and
Big Jim was just in here. Take it up too much showtime
Big Jim was just in here saying that the headphones sound blown out
Yes, yeah, you just came in here. We have photo evidence. The gym
Norton on Jim and Sam uses that headphone jack, which is working. Well, okay, not
even for I would wipe that down then. But that's the thing. This one over here is
absolutely blown. We called to say, yeah, it's this radio station. Yeah. People
probably this is the thing, right? The jacks go bad. It's the jack goes bad and like, you know,
we gotta put a new jack in our fix itters.
There's some way to do this.
They know something, probably a tool
that none of us have heard of that it's like,
oh, let me grab my whatever because that's
but fix this all the time.
We're all the sons of dams.
They can just come in here and man,
how man, man splints,
if you walked in holding a wrench,
I'd have more respect for what happened in here. Like, are you, are you, to say that on Thursday. Well, no, I mean, happens live on the show. No, we're gonna
Tell you all recapping it now and you could hear it happen live on the Thursday show. They came in and stared at it like it was an art installation.
They just
Look at it like my super when I can play with it. They can't fix any and tell me guys if this is an accurate impression came in anyway
You're switching some knobs flipping the knobs around the classic moves
Touching the actual and then just looking at Jay what yeah, it's good to go
The best part here's the best part. I'm not even off and on it
No plug and plug back in. Oh, he did he did did. He did. And plug plugged in, but that was over there. What's crazy?
The craziest part, Andy. The craziest part was they were using the headphones
that are right over here. If you could see there in front of me,
plugged into the console that's broken. Yeah, yeah.
And I gave them these headphones plugged in over here to show how bad it was.
They noodle around with these controls, nothing plugged into it.
You got that, I don't think.
And then they would noodle around it
and then he would look at me
and hand me the headphones back and go,
and you could hear this on Thursday's episode.
He goes, I go, they're fixed.
He's like, yeah, and I go,
three times with confidence.
Now, he's not even touching it.
He's just listening to this
and touching the obs that are unrelated to it.
Ghosts, ghosts of engineer pass.
We've had Doville.
Who gave us the right guy?
Oh, that's a puppy baby.
A puppy monkey baby.
A puppy monkey baby.
A puppy monkey baby.
And Doville.
Also, someone oil these fucking mic arms.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Oh, you know, although, Terce, got the job done, I feel it.
Absolutely.
Oh, it was a very frictions. He was all business. No, he was all business
But say what by the end he was digging the show when he came in he would enjoy
Yeah, yeah, we got him a couple times. Dove was the man dove
Dove rolls and he makes rules right. He rules so hard. He rules go away
I haven't seen him post-cove. He's still with us got
I don't know. Oh, man. I totally forgot the first thing we were to talk about, which is like Andy's
perfect because he's a perfect jam bands. Yeah, big music fan. Oh, you see you see the
axis on his wall when we did the fucking. Yeah, two good conversations going right here.
And it was who do you at this point? Like celebrities that you walk down the hall for and also wouldn't walk down the hall for because
Jay more fun to think of the who wouldn't you walk down the hall for who's like pretty famous, but you go I'm good to just sit here
You said Nelly. That's how this all start. Yeah, you go man. Nelly. There's a time in my life. I bought several Nelly albums. I bought three
Did you buy sweat and suit?
No, I didn't do that. I stopped stopped at a point I did a country grammar
okay and then the second one and then the one that Nellyville I always remember
Nelly lighting it up on like a jock jams yeah Nelly would fuck shit up I think
MTV sporting stuff you know it's funny I think I had country grammar
Nellyville I may also had suit. You didn't buy sweat.
I didn't have sweat.
You didn't get the whole fucking set, dude.
No.
Sweats.
But I don't know.
I actually made my own, he just had this first two.
You know what?
I had the first two.
But he was huge.
And having two albums by an artist when you were a kid,
you know, a new artist is like, pretty, you're following them.
And man, I would not walk down the hallway. You wouldn't know. No, would you?
For Nelly. I know. Okay, you are but to change your tune you already said no
You think maybe he's gonna be in here one day and you got to face him
I mean I'm sure now I just remember how goose stuff we got for Jim Jones to maybe come by
Come by here. I'm definitely used for Nelly to come by. Yeah, but you're saying I'm saying it simple
It goes I won want to introduce you
and he will be nice to you for a minute down the hall.
That's the most you're guaranteed.
He's, they're gonna introduce you and he'll be nice.
Let's assume he'll just perturbed.
Sure, that's why I wouldn't.
Right?
Yeah.
Who do you walk down the hall for?
You said ludicrous.
Ludicrous, I walk down the hall. Absolutely. Did youicrous. Ludicrous I walk down the hall.
Absolutely.
Did you just get a peek?
Steven Tyler walked in.
Steven Tyler walked in the hall.
Joe Perry at home.
You see what I'm doing here?
I would almost go Joe Perry and not Steven Tyler.
Wow.
I like to just look.
I like to just get a glimpse and go,
I'm good.
I don't need to meet.
Yeah.
I'm with you also, but let's even say that.
But let's say it's for the meat.
You're going to get the pleasantry of a meat.
Okay.
Listen, it's not gonna be an awkward meat,
but it's gonna be just like a meat.
But you gotta go out of here, what you get to go with it.
There's been a few for me.
I did one in Atlanta that I went out of my way,
which is Vander Holyfield.
Oh, that's a great one.
I was like, I would love to meet the real deal.
Absolutely.
Peewee Herman here.
Great.
One out of my way.
I go out of it to take a pick.
I'd go out of my way to find Peewee Herman. No, Mel Great. I go out of it. I take a pick.
I'd go out of my way to find P.E. Herman.
No, Mel Brooks.
Absolutely.
100%.
Easy.
Conan was here.
I was pissed I missed him.
Conan, I would do it.
Totally.
With the shroyer?
Yeah.
Conan, the shroyer.
One of the later ones.
Trey from fish.
I got a picture of this.
Where?
Yeah, you don't all think.
But here's the whole point.
You got to go me.
You got to go me. Here's what we're saying. Now now I'll tell you this and I mean this from the gut if he didn't hate us
And we just happen to have never brought him up as a subject
I get on the hall for Corey felt I would do 100% yeah, yeah 100% I got on the call for I think it's obvious
Talk about him so much cuz we like it. I know
Yeah, yeah, he almost blew up your spot. He goes, you're not going to give us those bonfire guys in
black lit a big damn crack ass bullshit motherfuckers. Oh man,
one of them piece sitting down. Big one. Two boys. Then two
lady boys. Who else would I, what about um, I mean, Billy
Joel's in obvious. Yes. Yeah, I go meet Billy Joel James
Taylor. Oh, no, there's one you might not think I was his nope.
I would.
No, I would.
I would.
I go for bad.
I go bet for Babs you would.
For Babs, maybe.
Oh, Barbara strives as an all day long, dude.
I'll go to I got a random order.
I'll stack our commercials right now.
I'm going to go tell her what she means to me.
I know it's probably going to be a no.
I know it's probably going to be a no, but Amy smart.
You give a little young Jewish boy hope who'd say Amy smart what a random
They do some of beat off the crankle eat recently shut up dude when he fucks her in the street because he has to keep his heart rate up
What a hot theme the actress fucking dude outside?
Providence I'll tell you what though Amy smart. She fucking she aged like fucking fruit. Can we get a visual?
Well, I'll just tell you like she
was like the hot chick and she's eight she's not bad look at all it gets to see your top
list road trips the one she looks good she's talking about and she's on the show
of the baby I married tomorrow now what about Ryan Reynolds? What about the guy on the road? Do I go on this the hallway form? Oh
They were together. Yes
Yes, right after that movie after that movie just friends probably Ryan Gosling
Yep, she aged like a hot young actress is what you're telling me now. She's a little ratty now get the hell out of here
I got a fun one dude first of all fucking lot of felt between those fucking eye pockets
J's always good it felt J's always good at calling out the smallest thing you really think about
It really is the nape of her neck is shaped a lot of a little bit of a five head hair's thin
That's not gonna age well either. I'm telling you that hair, she's one of those old ladies
where you can see head.
Stringy, yeah, you can see head.
The grandma's 94, you started able to see some head.
Yeah, she'll throw on a wig, which will make it even
weirder, because you'll know underneath the hot
to the world, she is, she's just a bald pig.
Damn, dude.
You could have seen.
Well, a lot of real estate between those fucking
peepers.
If you would have grown up gay
You would be the top fashion designer. Oh, no way. You just cut through people red carpet talk with me
I'll be the new Joan Rivers. Why don't you do that now fucking great. I love it
That's the best coming those go. What do you do? You're fat and ugly. I go. That's why this is so funny
I dude yeah, yeah, if I was awesome looking I'd just be a fucking cut right but right now
I'm just like here's why I don't want to fuck you. We should beautiful bitch add the big Jim productions
We should do a thing where Jay does scared straight but with hot chicks
BJ bring in just like mean hot girls and then Jay out hot girls them
And just like caddy he's like why do your knees knock together? And she's like, who the fuck are you?
And Jay's like, yeah, I'd be a
I'd be a millionaire if I knew how to navigate or any kind of like social media stuff and became a guy who like
Goes on like you know, like goes on goes like hot chicks thing and just yeah, I'd be like yuck
That me dude, I go. Here's a problem with this. This girl's shaking her ass. She doesn't have one too much thaw gap
Why don't you do it better? Why don't you go do that? Just fucking
Who are worse?
Who were who are worse?
I'm not good at that. It's just a pretty girl with confidence. Just tear them down. Good to find a thing
Had as their thing to add it to the channel lineup and it's a yeah Jacob I'll do it if you agree to do the odd
Thruple oh
Just fucking do the show already you can't go hang out with your friends for a week in a cabin
I have to go play a gay on television now
Do you know I've played that should really could you come to play more when I get homophobic shit?
I'm like you know I played a gay character with two seasons on a show
Yeah, I was a gay character. Yeah, I almost forget that it was a gay character.
He's making that's what's kind of was funny about it. It wasn't like all the time thing. Yeah,
he just was into the lead singer. But yeah, so funny. But I forgot that was your hero. I am a hero.
You're a goddamned hero here you're an icon and the
second start taking down these chicks on the red carpet um the great
leveler with the run to the who do you run to down the hall I'd say the waste of
time to say like the great spichino to the year of course you do it's got to be
something more I think you kind of a bummer to meet old pichino do you go down
for Axel Rose you don't needuccino. I tell you that now.
That didn't mean that much to me.
But I do for Axel Rose.
James Hempfield idea.
Any of those night, yeah.
But not real.
I don't go for Axel.
I go for Slash.
I'd go for anybody in Def Leopard except to lead singer.
I'm fine.
I'm fine in the studio.
I don't know any others.
I'd go for Brett Michaels or CC DeVille. I'm going through the concert that we weren't at today. Um, the Joe and the
jet weren't even allowed in the parking lot. Joe and jet, I probably go shake a hand with Joe and jet.
Sir, the crew you do every member. Who wouldn't? Um, yeah, well,
Mick Mars, I want to see if I can break his hand off with my hand.
Don't get to it's like touching old painting. I'm always afraid. He doesn't shake hands, dude. I bet if he does
He gives you a fucking like the throws. I was not far off two fingers out at you man. They are just creepy
Boris carloves. He has bone problems, right? He's got can he walk around or would he bring like at the end?
They have they have them like on one of those like stands like when you put an action figure
Yeah, yeah, like holds him around his waist so he doesn't fall and he just plays guitar there. I said my mic Mars
Do touch him. I
What's the name at the end? Lemmy looked in better health
And I watched them walk him to the stage and he didn't know where it's direction he was walking
Little inside baseball guys hung out with Lemmy towards the end
direction he was walking. Little inside baseball guys hung out with Lemmy towards the end. It's backstage there's celebrate in 40th anniversary a motorhead on the boat.
No big deal. It didn't matter though. I mean putting him on a boat.
You guys do stuff too. It was rude. It was awful putting him on a boat.
It's pretty mean. Oh.
There was a Medevac somebody out of there and fucking this is Lemmy. He was leaving him
this fucking like sort of Nazi hat. He's like,
you know, there were things called Nazi cowboys. I'm a Nazi cowboys. There's got to be some
diaries of Lemmy, dude. That guy was way into like Hitler memorabilia, right? He was
like Nazi memorabilia. I don't know where his whole apartment was just filled with it.
Nazi memorabilia. Yeah. Second only to Jacob in amount of swastikas in his house. I mean, it does get department is littered with it.
Jacob's apartment nonstop.
Dagger's.
Despite the he's got the arm band.
The swastik of all the soldiers he's killed.
Yes, special ones.
This one's my favorite over here.
Do you go down the hall for any of the Avengers?
Thor go through him.
Him's work for every one of them. Nah. I got to go see and I think I have in the hallways here before.
I think I saw some more him's worth once, but I want to know,
here's the thing.
I'd rather just look, but I would go shake the hand of Chris
Hemensworth to be like, dude, this guy took a perfect person.
I mean, the guy's stunning.
You got to see that. Same thing. I mean, the guy's stunning. You gotta see that.
Same thing, it's like I go to see Brad Pitt
for the same reason.
I think that'll bump me out because Brad Pitt,
while still very handsome, is showing age now,
but there was a time when you were like, dude, you're pretty.
Downey Jr. be cool.
Absolutely.
I go for Robert Downey Jr.
I'm so perfect, I gotta check out.
Oh, Sammy L.
Yeah.
Sam Jackson for sure.
Jeremy Renner, yeah, I have to say yes.
He likes my comedy.
That's awesome.
Chris Evans.
Don't give a fuck.
Ruffalo, I don't care.
What?
What?
Chris Evans?
I don't care about meeting Chris Evans.
You don't want to meet Captain America.
But you want to meet that guy?
Is that a guy?
That's it.
He's a fan of my comedy.
Yeah, so what?
Ruffalo for sure. I'm actually agributing. I go, I'm spritin' down the hallway for Stellen's car's guard
I'll tell you what
Guys been in a lot of shit isn't a guy cool shit. Isn't he goodwill hunting the yeah, yeah, and
Girl dragon tattoo dude heavy Harry baton. He could blow me how true I go down the hall for yeah
I don't even know what a Kobe smolders is
She's she's on a what do you call it how about your mother? Yeah, she's boo. She's gorgeous sure you go to get a look
Middleston Hiddleston
Nah keep it
Stanley probably he's dead. He's dead. He's called Anthony. Didn't Harry Dean stand died too?
Yeah, Harry Dean stand for sure.
I go meet.
He's awesome.
For sure.
And no, no.
Betany yes.
Nope, for you.
Well, for you, young out with Johnny Depp.
Oh, that is true.
He does have a lot of information.
Actually, who?
I'd walked down the hall for Ashley Johnson, I think.
The waitress. Yeah. She just plays a waitress.
That meets Captain America. Huh?
That met Captain America. She is. Yeah.
She's in the Avengers movie. She's the waitress he saves.
Oh, really?
bizarre that she's there with the Avengers. I don't get that.
She's got top billing and you're telling me that's the only scene she's that's crazy.
She's like thanks for saving me Captain America.
Power's booth is the fucking man.
Power's booth I move for for sure.
Power's so much.
How you can be red Dawn, bro?
Red Dawn alone and then you got Tombstone on top of that.
Yeah.
Also, then we've got frailty I enjoyed and deadwood.
And deadwood. Hell yeah. are you can get out of the
Avengers now now we're getting to fucking bullshit
part.
Kind of tie guard.
I think you make a good point.
Who's who are you going to go down to the hall for is a
movement of outside the studio.
I want to show effort.
Mm-hmm.
Can you guys guess which something about people I like and
it's like it's not about if you like it's about if
you're willing to fucking walk down the hallway do the knock
This is Chris Hemsworth and like yeah, you're doing the whole
Code movie you right might remember the Jay of whole coke and I move for
Absolutely, I go can I tell you which actor slash musician
Every girl absolutely slid out of their's chair for right now are yes rick springfield
move on
and you guess jack wagner first go from t.a. java hospital
not one of our own or all i need
cloney
actor musician
uh... actor singer
jack rady
charred
charred little
little fucking
yes so the don't say let it isn't saying
don't say that doesn't sing don't say that Wait, what?
Guys that kill that's a fucking that's a two person what do the kill rules by
Now what is it?
Yeah, do you think you'll rip Timberlake? Oh Timberlake yeah, you couldn't find a female working
What 10 minutes he was around of course and I by the way
I also moved on the hall for Justin Timberlake. I skipped him. Oh, I do mean just like really Chris kill Patrick. No
Nope Lance Bass even sorry buddy JC Shaw say yes to get something signed for Katie. I went over Lance Bass's house in L.A.
Did you realize my homey no shit? That was the first show I ever worked on here. Oh yeah, associate producer on the Lance's show no shit
Did you like?
Did you get you like the fucking dance nighter from Nickelodeon? Did you have you start swimming around with your shirt off?
No, you know who's out you know is that his house that day? He's like hey these are six guys from the LA gay men's choir. Yeah
Let's go in the pool. Yeah, let's go shock this pool
Let's go in the pool. Yeah, let's go shock this pool.
You know what I mean?
And that was boring.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, Lance, you brought us a real bear.
Sweetest guy.
We were drinking moonshine.
He's like, I got moonshine.
He's a southern boy.
It was a fun day, Dan.
He goes, we were having so much fun.
I was fucking unconscious of sleep
by like 6 p.m. I was so tired.
His husband's guy went, I brought my ex, Ali there.
And we were just like never thought life would turn out
this way. Yeah, hanging pool side of land side LB in the LA gay men's
LA gay men's choir
Hell yeah, because the sopranos available if you try to sing with them too
A lot of altos in this group
Just pool day with a men's choir.
It was so fun.
How many great bodies were there?
I don't think I was going to win in with my T-shirts.
Did you really?
No, but I was fucking in there.
I was swimming this far, so I was.
It is nice.
You can see above my nose below my neck.
But I crab walked through an entire pool.
However deep the pool is, depends how much my knees are better not totally
It was one of those when I got out. I just kept my towel on just being like yeah you guys are
I'm a camp you guy though and wrap your towel run under your tit on armpits and tits you looking at ass
You can ask if you have wrapped up your body like that like I'm trying to run to get the phone
A jerk off
No, you gotta let your titties out and just put it on your waist like everybody else.
No, you just, you do the over like a cape, but you just kind of
now's weird too.
No, it's better than the fucking.
No, I don't have my wet fucking, my little wet fan of coverage.
He's company tell.
No, he's getting out and doing like, dude.
Talking it.
Dude standing like that that I use a
bath sheet
I wrapped my head too horrific did you get drunk? Yeah dude it was moonshine it was
like flavored it was like watermelon flavored moonshine. Oh my god. I bet I bet it did so it was like yeah, it was so fun
It's what you remember
Smoking weed
I think I so much fun. I have hemorrhoids after that
I think I party too hard his wakes up with that one of those
Only bow ties around the sweaters. Everyone he wakes up in a earth and you passed out last night and the things you were doing
your own asshole I think you put a cake mixer in there at one point and then as you
locked eyes with me it's had stop fucking yourself stop fucking yourself
any who things bind me to anything any home glad you woke up okay today but just be careful
you really put some stuff in there you're're wearing us. Hey, dude. That's a nap dream
We're like I was at Lance Bass's house with a Christian all-male choir
And we were drinking movies. They can't be Christian and all gay male. Yeah pick one not allowed dude
Sorry, I'm progressive. Sorry. I believe in a world where someone can actually live Christ like and accept everybody
I know it is funny when they say they reformed things like that and you hear like certain churches
They're like yeah, it goes bar preacher is actually yeah our pastor's actually a gay man
He goes then it's just not he's not a pastor like I don't care be a gay man, but none of that holds up
You think I think God was just like now gay stuff's cool now
Because now he's God's not cool with it or he is it's one or the other
He's God's not cool with it or he is. It's one or the other or
Option C there's no God none of it matters go be gay who cares? We should run it. We should run it's probably that it's the answer We should run a song with this being the secret meaning. I know right we got to get to the darker side of this
We go through it girl. Let's do women because that's a big to go down the hall to meet a little salon. Oh, yes, no
No That's a big to go down the hall to meet a little little no yes no no no dude a listen Milano is on a
a listen Milano would have me beheaded if she could
I just look she's super fucks better alone then we she's
she's been here so full of woke dude she is I mean
cutest who did she get man she got mad at somebody she's the header comment on somebody else saying like if you can't talk about things in comedy like I forget
What it was I don't want to say ti
But I don't think it was some lot of comedy on ti's comedy. Oh, you know who I
And Jacob did a backflip down the hallway for was I don't know her real name, but she was mother of dragons
I don't know her real name, but she was mother of dragons. Kaleesi.
Kaleesi.
Oh, that's what's her real name.
Olivia, no, Amelia Clark.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was nice.
You slept overnight.
He had like camp out tickets.
Dude, especially there was an article about she walked by.
She's so adorable.
That's what it was.
I should listen a lot of says Dave Sapel.
She paled those hate speech and you're like, nah.
I don't care if Samantha from who's the boss doesn't like my jokes, man.
Shut up. You're not even the boss.
That goes to tone it.
But she is a coach, I'm sorry.
Yeah, the two women I would have to say, I pretended I had to get something just to see
you walked by that interview room 14 times
I think you want by the front we want by the lobbying goes like this guy's gonna shit a lot, huh?
Sorry, I don't know tacos last night. I
DS it's a condition false alarm nothing came out
Well hang on think I gotta go in again just air shoots smell my duty
Smell for dog
Well, there was article new car remember she was like was like yeah kind of just like I don't like celebrity
I like like chubby the funny guys. Oh
I remember the article
Andy as she loves dudes that are in the jam bands. Yeah, new guys you can shred
The other one.
Sorry guys, my mic arms made out of tin man.
The only other one that's...
Your mic arm, I'll always remember you the most.
If you only had a heart, huh?
Just go.
If you only had some IT, it didn't just stare at our equipment when we said something's wrong.
But did you jet-eye fix this with your mind?
How did that fix?
That guy looked at me.
Bewitch styled.
He looked at me.
The other guy, he would hand the headphones
to the Indian guy and the Indian guy would just like,
yes, and the Indian guy would just like,
look at the Indian guy,
we just look at him, he would do this.
It was like watching like,
chimp discovered wheel or something.
It was like, it was insane.
It's this my intern.
And then the Asian guy would put it back on his head
and then give him a go.
And then Jacob to add insult to injury
wouldn't try on the headphones
after they're dirty, foreign ears were on it.
I'll just put it on.
Jacob put his hand up and went,
I just put him on because I don't see race or color like that.
But Jacob was like, I'm not sharing it
with you. It's got the freaking weirdos.
Oh, after a goddamn global pandemic.
An Asian at that.
In a double Asian.
Oh yeah.
Where the reason we're here in the first place.
Yeah, this guy's brought up there listening
to a Russell Peter's album.
And then they had to leave,
because Jacob started getting into his anti-facts.
They do seem, they do seem miffed when they have to
come back to this.
I would describe like we broke it.
I know.
I would describe him as miffed. I would describe them like we broke it. I know. I would describe it as MIFT.
I would describe them as puzzled at their,
what their job was to do.
I can only describe it as puzzled.
They didn't seem to understand what they were like.
They were like, they're like, head phone,
like they fit on your ears.
Like what's the problem you're having?
Damn, that was crazy.
Pam Anderson right now, today I walked down the hall for I just got to see it.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, I guess.
Harmony Electra all day long.
The one that Andy gives me will give me a tip off from this is the only one I like.
I feel like I get to excite Zoe Deutsch.
We had her on my show.
Yeah, she was great.
She's cool.
She's awesome. Leah Thompson's daughter. Yeah, she was great. She was cool too. She was awesome.
Leah Thompson's daughter.
Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell.
I can't tell. I can't tell. I can't tell. I can't tell. Yeah, noice. We at Thompson. I still would too. I go now. I'm talking
about. Again. There you creep. I'm talking about walking down the hole. I get hurt.
Power's booth. We get a whole red on the union.
Andi, who's the girl that always comes on the raw report in Flurts with you? Blond hair.
Spencer. Spencer Grammar. She's the greatest. Oh, love of my life. Yeah. It's from Rick
and Morty. Yeah, from which she's Summers, Summersmith. Yeah, it's from Rick and Morty. Yeah from which she's summer summer Smith
Yeah, or she's comes on show and forth to do well
We have a good banter. I think Ralph run a date with her what yeah, pretty sure I'm big leg Ralph
You don't know if you're big leg Ralph
Well, now that was a penis, but if you want a big dude you want during the break
I could find enough you're as big as Ralph. I got no. Oh, you feel you feel wider.
Kelsey's kid. Kelsey. Kelsey. Grammar's daughter. Yeah.
Is who that girl? Spencer grammar summer from more working
Morty. Yeah. That's wait. Frazier cranes. Uh-huh. Own flesh and blood.
Yeah, right there. Yes. His real name is Kelsey. Grammar. Oh, it's not.
He's a Seattle psychiatrist on the radio.. Don't say that. So when his brother Niles, yeah, yeah, so Ralph took a shot.
If it worked out, well, she used to be married to a mayor of city, the
rival, but they may have fooled around a little bit. What are you doing to me? Oh,
baby, I hear the blues. It's a call he does sell it in his cramble, Nate.
Good call, Lewis.
She's great.
You walked down the hall for her.
I like her.
She's smart and funny.
He goes, she has the best stories.
You guys.
And they're long and direct.
You know what it is?
But I don't know what, man.
I'm captivated.
It's hard disassociating her voice,
because you just hear some, right?
Pretty much her voice.
Yeah.
So it's really kind of fun damn hate's working more well disgusting no
no bad taste it disgusts him it's disgusting it's stupid it's not even well
written beneath me black glue I know you got a list of who your walked down the hall for downtown. She works here.
She's LA though.
I'd probably would have to say like any of the girls from Friday night lights.
The TV show.
The TV show.
Yeah.
The mom. Yeah. Connie Britton. Absolutely. Oh TV show TV show yeah, the mom
Yep Connie Britain absolutely
You run down the hall for Connie Britain. Oh, yeah, and what's the girl that?
Jeeter dated I'd have to look up. Oh, yeah, make a Kelly in a fucking heart. I'd have to look at her
Her old nude scenes first Connie Britain
We've got some young stuff that it make me go. Oh, yeah, go go check it out again. Oh, you know who I used to love and I would
Give everything up for but I think she became a Nazi was the red headed chick from the office
Aaron human knots Jenna. I don't know. No, no, no, I don't know who I walked out the hallway for the second receptionist
Shannon tweed. Yeah, you gotta take a peek. I guess you
Yes House Shannon tweed. Yeah, you got to take a peek. I get you. Yes.
I watched a lot of her films as a young lad. Everybody did. That's when you could pound before you. Not married, I think still still got shot.
So it ain't over. Um, try to think of my. Just rewatched runaway.
God, was that a bad movie? I rewatched Runaway. Uh-huh.
God, was that a bad movie?
I mean, I loved it when it came out.
Ooh.
Here's a good one.
Kathy Ireland.
I don't expect much, but I go take a peek.
Yes.
Martha Stewart.
I bet you say that.
Yes, do you?
I don't care.
Tyra Banks.
Nope.
Sorry, Nadelli, about 15 years ago. Pretty awesome. Tyra Banks.
Yeah, in person. Pretty fucking awesome. I know. I don't walk down.
Keep that bug hit over there. Ricky Lake. Huh?
Ricky Lake. I got questions for Ricky Lake. So yeah, for sure.
Mori Povish. That's what we've been informed.
Ricky Lake, are we talking about a fatter thing? That you don't know.
You don't know until you walk in the room. There's a couple of
King of Kings. I'm going to be like
That I'm gonna see if she's fatter thin Rachel Ray
Fatter thin you don't know till you walk in. Oh, man. These are tough ones
Yeah, better thin
Winona rider I don't run down the hall for really yeah Are they. I don't know. I have to do that.
Are they telling her stranger things is not really a comedy?
She's acting like it's a fucking doof ball comedy show.
Yeah, she's, she's my own rider.
They're excited to have her.
There's heavy, she's not stealing stuff in the set.
What did she get caught stealing?
Like retail clothes, right?
Shit, yeah.
It was kleptomania.
It's like kleptomania that, because of her fucking wacky, I'm sure, upbringing, Yeah, it was Clepto, man. It's like Clepto, mania that
Because of her fucking wacky. I'm sure upbringing is what it was because it was there's no reason she didn't need to fucking do that at all
Not like the girl from different strokes who needed to at gunpoint rob a laundromat or whatever she robbed
Dina Dina Playdo then she came back and started trying to do a sexy thing
For Sega CD she was in was in like the first game
That was like a girl slumber party and it wasn't like dirty or anything
But it was like supposed to be sexy and then everyone's like you can't be and I apologize
Sexy with that many freckles. I'm sorry Dana Playdo. You were never gonna pull off sexy. Didn't she do Foxy boxing?
She did all kinds. She got naked a couple of times.
She ended up getting a Kimberly. It was a mess. That whole cast, but she died sadder than
Gary Coleman. Oh, she got freckles. Well, it's that's a trouble. You know, that whole show
is cursed. Mr. Drummond did not take care of those kids. Mr. D was like, I said, I'd raise
him the 18. Then they're going to make their own decisions. Ghost ride the whip.
Sam was molested that old fucking chaos in that family.
There really was a lot of bad things in that family.
They shouldn't have filmed it on that ancient burial ground.
His wife died and he started dating Sam's mom.
Yeah, Dudley got molested.
Dudley got molested.
I think we almost got molested.
We almost got molested and he left his fucking friends behind to get food.
Yeah good friend. I will got my eyes and he left his fucking friends behind to get. Yeah, good friend. New food.
Yeah, I will kill your parents, Sam.
Yeah.
To Matt's care.
Matt's gonna use to have the story about a kid who like to play it.
I wish I hadn't tell, but I do sort of remember it.
The kid who had the cool toys in the house, where like he was just like a dick kid and
his dad was a cop and like to play with the toys
He would make him do all this like weird shit first and then he said goes into his dad's closet and gets
his
Like cop outfit. I don't think it's gone. I don't think it was that dark
Really club maybe with something like that
He's anyone he goes all right to the other like three other kids there in Kurt
They just wanted to play with his cool toys. Yeah.
And he was like, all right, we're going to like cop now, because so it's a bend over,
I got to check your butt for drugs.
And he said the kid was like, oh man, they were like, if you want to do, if you want to stay.
Oh.
And so the kid bends down, I guess.
And when Kurt would tell the story, he goes, now look, I'll excuse the kids name,
to be like, I don't know if he found drugs in Jimmy's ass,
but it wasn't for lack of looking.
Oh my God.
And then he goes,
and then I just came in and a thing where it was like,
he was like, Kurt, he goes, come on, you gotta do it.
He's like, you know, he was like, Jimmy did it.
And Jimmy said he's, he looks over,
Jimmy's still has his pants around his ankles,
but there's like belly over the back of the the catch He goes, yeah, I did it
And then he goes all right, then you've not got to do that you got to show us your penis and then he goes
I don't want to do that. He was like well then you have to leave and he said the three of them started chanting penis butter leave
He said he left he tells the story goes he left
He missed butterleave. Pugh.
And he said he left.
He tells the story goes he left.
But as he left, he also felt like down.
Like he was like kicked out of the group.
Like for not doing, he's like, I don't know.
It just seemed weird.
And like, he was bummed that they left.
Didn't go on.
Imagine leaving a room like, you know I'm gonna show it
when a door closes and you're still gonna be like,
pain is butterleave.
Pain is butterleave.
Also those kids saying, yeah, I did it.
This ass is still out.
It's a little wet ass from getting fingered by his friend.
But when that door shut's in the,
it's just the three of them without Kurt,
and they're like, what an asshole.
Because what a dick.
By the way, there was a third kid
who hadn't gone yet either.
So I guess he stayed,
so it's like, it's not,
even if I have Kurt,
it was outside five minutes,
he goes, yeah, they wanted me to do it too.
I said, no, worry if he's Jimmy's dumb as shit though.
Huh?
Or if he's with it in the second currently,
he goes, should we get back to it?
Yeah, he goes, all right.
So where were we in this party?
I think I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go penis.
He went butt.
Just to get the toys you sticking around
and going through that for though.
I Joe, my, my, my bear craft carrier,
aircraft carrier, hovercraft,
he's a big one.
Castle Grayscale was not expensive.
It was pretty, it was a fucking dollhouse.
You can look at my Grayscale homes.
You can look at my,
God damn dollhouse, no, a tall cab one.
I'll tell you what, push to the top of the car,
a talking night rider car.
Adam Ron had that one, dude, that was a goodie.
I liked Adam Ron though,
but he did, he was the Jewish kid with the good toys.
The T-Toy friends like that, Michael.
This kid Andy in my neighborhood,
he had all the good toys.
He just goes to his house and be like,
do you wanna play race, you know, the cars on the track?
Yeah, I'm a little triggered.
He had those.
He'd spend an hour building that fucking track
and those things worked never.
His track worked.
That's why you wanted to go old.
It was a 75.
You could put other cars for it to
really yeah it it that's pretty big is I've never pulled a trigger I've never
held a trigger on a race car track and had the car go one rotation
successfully around the track that's what I was gonna say is that I have to put
a record needle back into a thing with it's insanely delicate for what they're trying to make happen
He would have a car race. It's run by a kitten hair
Good god
Dan, I'm sorry. I didn't make fun of racetrack. Why did you check out on me?
Usually looking obviously
Whatever dude, the racetrack rules it was one of the ones with a jump Oh, I never even believe that never know anybody who own one didn't even believe it was a thing
That but that not one time Hollywood magic. There's no way it lands show commercial with a jumping race car
That makes a leap
The loop the loop he had the one believe that if you pulled the trigger too much it would just shoot off the side of the track
That was always one too much power if you do it would just shoot off the side of the track. That was always one of the much power.
If you do it, it's always one with the jolt of electricity.
Man, Colorado.
I was one kid just had that track.
Oh, that one kid and color bullet.
Dan, why are you going into a show?
Did you do gays to have to play with this thing?
I sucked in, he's thick.
No, I was trying to get the sentence.
I lost the where I was going with the story and then I was trying to remember where this
is because he was like the only kid that that track worked
and then you like try to go over there and hang out
and then the second you start playing with him,
they'd be like, let's go play something else.
And you're like, you realize you're the only kid
that has this track that works.
Yeah, thanks Joe Rogan.
Yeah, it would have been.
He played with it and he'd be like,
do you want to go, you know, through his trampoline
with the bumpers?
Dude, when a kid had like the Nintendo first
and when you came over, he didn't want to play Nintendo
And you were like it's the only thing I'm here for kid you do not carry a conversation
I mean could you imagine a is like no, let's go do something else. Let's go draw
You want to go shoot baskets at the school and you're like not with you dude. You're the Nintendo guy
I figured I'd call Brian and Scott if I wanted to do that
Did you how much did you get to play Nintendo before you owned it?
Not that much
I was young when I got an Nintendo my dad pulled it off as a divorced dad move
Yeah, it wasn't that those ones those ones are fucking sick
It was the ones where you put it on the track. This is oh, yeah, you're talking the same ones
I'm saying with this with the needle orange
Yeah, I think all it was just all orange they would go around if you fucking gave it to which gas it was just
No one to lay off the throttle
Man oh man when that kid would be like do you want to play risk cars?
Did you ever get trouble for keeping like borrowing you trade you'd swap toys sometimes right?
No, that's what you do. I'd be like I get your he-man and you can have my whatever and
Maybe trading guys in the same but in the same world
Maybe trading some GI Joe's for the night. So in the same We're gonna make a new party. I definitely trade Nintendo games and I NBA jam
I wanted to play so bad and I kept it for like three weeks longer than the agreed upon.
He was, wait, from your friend, Bobby Dupuis and his mom had to call my mom and be like,
bring him, have him bring the game tomorrow.
I have a friend do that to me, S N E S though, you're talking to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, NBA Jam.
I did it with Techno Super Bowl, my buddy had it and I was like, you so happy.
He's like, I wasn't letting go.
Give me that. I was like, yeah,. He's like, oh, I wasn't letting go.
Give me that.
I was like, yeah, fucking bad.
The parents got involved.
Where the parents get involved, that's bringing in a lawyer.
My mom was like, bring it to school tomorrow.
That's the child version of bringing in a lawyer.
Yeah, I really like, I'm gonna bring in my council.
Yeah.
And you know for a second, I got a mad dog.
Listen, counselor.
Yeah, I was the kid who had a responsible.
Can you kid me back, my guys?
Before my second boss.'s like a hostage negotiation.
I've been forgetting that before my stepfather came,
because I was so girly before that,
in so many ways of like,
I should be mortified.
I would definitely go.
I wouldn't, when I was younger,
I wouldn't have told somebody of someone did the like,
you know, if my mom bought me like a football,
or something that I could use,
and I went out and like someone did the old
I get it. Let me see it real quick. They just walk away with it
I would always get mortified if my mom was gonna like I'm gonna get involved. Oh, yeah
Thread ever my mom was gonna call and get the tattoo parlor the tattooed everyone underage shut down
Oh, yeah, not the the first six months we moved to town. That was the nuclear threat.
We're talking about like lawyers, but with dad's nuclear, nuclear, nuclear, nuclear, nuclear, nuclear.
Nuclear. There he is. You're fine. I believe in you. Then he trips me up. I don't think
he, that was nuclear on record. Nuclear? I've said like that. You started off, you started off
nuclear. Nuclear. It's not. It's not. It's not. self corrected and by the way nuclear who gives a far right I love you nuclear
yeah yeah tell us the potted radio show
uh
romance
romance freaky word
but when that's all his parents get involved was dad the dad's I was last string
And this is what I mean is like you had an old dad. I did we didn't have one
You couldn't pull that missile out you'd be like my dad and you're like
Beat up my mom that was done for it
My mom will bitch at your mom probably although my mom would fight your mom
My mom would fight your mom. Yeah, no my mom would scream and yell
But if my dad that was the last line of defense,
because his voice would drop deep. Oh my god. It was terrifying. Yeah. Do you ever? I got the three
go, don't make me get physical. I never did. Physical. Never did. But that was a threat. That's what I
would say. I have to be smurched his name now to these past stars. He never did though. He never
did. But he would be like, I'm going to put a hot hanger on your back. He didn't though. Warmo, torture techniques.
And then we see Andy change when he's got like,
fucking Rambo scars on his back.
Oh my God, what happened, dude?
And then a girl who really is attracted to you,
touches them before you have sex the first time.
Saa!
She goes, the voice of Sour.
And he goes, don't, she goes, no.
It's okay.
I like them.
And he goes, they're who you are.
It's the LA Gay Men's Quar. What? It was the LA men's K-quar at the old time. So I like them who you are
The only men's cake wire the whole time they've been hot hangering me up back until I sex with them Christian choir
Lance bass evil minion
Did I love that he just goes on to Lou Perlman other boys get in the pool? They did don't you dare dude Lou Perlman never stops until he stopped
You know, I mean like he just he just, he just turned over.
Has that ever been a thing?
Dude, that guy, that whole documentary
is a guy from O-town crying about getting pounded out
by Luke Roman and not, and then I had to hold his gun
up with two hands while I sucked his little Peter.
So they really did, they called him O-town.
Where there are mouth shapes like an O-town.
O-town.
But what a sick joke.
That's like the pool.
That's like the foot being the logo in Nickelodeon.
These are all men's like your O-town.
You know, say O.
O-town.
Now everyone get on your knees and say one at a time.
Oh, you're not too like O.
Boomker.
Boomker.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, yeah, you're gonna be the front guy.
Oh, you're the bad boy.
Or you're a little too see. Oh, you're the bad boy. Or you little toothy little bad boy.
Someone's a stinker, huh?
Daddy Fury's hanging out.
Do you walk down the hall for Harry Styles?
Yeah, what?
Oh, yeah, right.
I couldn't even tell you what he looks like.
No, yeah, he could.
I don't think I could.
Harry Styles?
I walked down for Harry Styles.
I gotta see again, the face of a man who makes it.
It's a thing, we watched that one, that's the best, for sure,
but there's so many videos of people going,
like I'm listening to the new Harry style song
for the first time and falling the pieces.
It's one of the funniest things.
That one girl's the best.
You know the one I've showed you that a bunch of times, right?
The girl's just like,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
eyes go crossed, it's the funniest one ever.
There's a guy losing it.
Now, it's, we'll take a break, we'll come back
with it, we'll play it when we come back.
You want to take a break?
Yeah, it's take a break, it's 46.
Yeah.
Good to have.
And if you're going to be a wisecrackers,
Wilkes, how do you say this?
Wilkes Barry.
I don't know.
Wilkes Barry.
I'm from there.
Wilkes Barry. Wilkes Barry. Wilkes Barry. I'm from that. It's Wilkes Barry.
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It's just a gay boy. Oh, yeah, this is my boys
It's not even them it's these guys behind
Oh Andy My swimming buddies wink wink all you want you did so you tried something with these guys
Yeah, we played chicken in the pool. Oh, yeah, wink all you want. You did something with these guys. Yeah, we played chicken in the pool.
Oh yeah, I bet you did.
Chicken fights.
Yeah, panceless.
You had nuts and dick on the back of your head all day.
Dan Stutter is gonna be in Tacoma, Washington,
Tacoma Comedy Club, everybody.
That's July 21st through the 23rd.
After that, Oklahoma, Phoenix, all on deck,
as well as many other cities.
He's all over the place check him out
Check out for tour dates near you at dansoder.com
We'll be right back
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