The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - We Left Our Hearts In Texas (w/ Shane Gillis, Mike Vecchione & Justin Silver)

Episode Date: May 6, 2019

Dan & Jay catch up with the crew about their after show adventures in Austin. Justin Silver & Mike Vecchione come by and get into the documentary "One Of Us" about the Hasidic community in New York. Heel Jacob comes out for the Bonfire Dating Game from the live show at the Moontower Comedy Festival.

You're listening to Comedy Central. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire SXM. Hi Cambers, this is Black Blue. Back from the Bond Fire's Triumph at Weekend at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival, and a lot went down on stage and off. Listen as Big J and Dan grill Jacob on some extra curricular activities that went on after the show. The live Bond Fire, you know, without giving away what happens. It's just a fun fucking time

We didn't buy we didn't buy stuff this year. We didn't add to the costumes. There's nothing there. Well, I did Christine do all right. We get it boots She's really into those boots. Are you wearing them here? No, I'm wearing my sneakers today with my share No, but I'm saying are you wearing them in? Oh, yeah, I'll wear those at all. Absolutely wearing them in need. Oh yeah. I'll wear those at time. Absolutely. They're very like, they just looked like boots,

and they don't look like cowboy boots for Texas. Like they just look like boots that would own. I love them. I know, they were pretty expensive. I got them before. Oh, I don't know. I'm a great customer. Great customer.

Yeah. Dick's been driest since day I bought them. What? Dick's been driest since day I bought them. Let's change that to the double break. That's not even true. Christine, whack me off on this bridge Yeah, sure if you want her to

Christine you better whack me off on this break. Yeah, I made Jacob do it when I bought him that Bolo tie Did the show was absolutely amazing, but the most exciting The fellow I mean the most exciting development and looking at my gonna already see him slamming his pen down, scarting off into the corner there. DJ Loo and True, DJ Loo fashion first night, banishing the night. By the way, wouldn't get on the elevator, like a stubborn dog.

What are you talking about? We're trying to go up to J.S.R. and smoke weed and we're like, Lou, come on! And then there's like Lou in the door is closing, and we're like, Lou! And then you're just staring at us. Yeah You guys make it shit up now you vanish If yeah, you do vanish it listen

I want to do I want to both of your guys stand up shows which I never do which is awesome you guys are funny Wow, that hurts very proud of you That and then I after the bonfire I took all the campers piepiper them to a bar called handle bar Which is a roof top cafe or whatever bullshit on on Thursday? No Friday after the show Thursday. I was an hour ahead of time I was still in New York time I didn't and I just thought it was later than it was I fell asleep and I'm gonna stop You guys don't believe me anymore so I'm done

I kind of believe you, I kinda believe you on the Thursday thing. I think the Friday thing, I think you. No, they didn't go with the campers for sure. That's where this all went down, man. On Friday, I took too many cookies and I fucked up Falsik, really, too. Got it.

I'm feeling myself getting a stew land and I just took myself out. You know what? And I'm impressed by that, because you could have, I've seen you at those parties in previous years, stewed out and you were not, man, you really pulled yourself together. You're like, I'm not gonna be able to pull it together. I want to do spin kicks.

Yeah. I'm removing myself to a place where it's been kicked friendly. Hey, this bar spin kick friendly. Hey, you guys cool if I come in here while I roll with my spin kicks? I'm just gonna do like a little demo. I'll do it up on the DJ booth or. Do you want to put a cage or something? If you want to put a pint on a pretty lady's head. I'm just gonna do like a little demo. I'll do it up on the DJ booth. You want to put a cage or something?

If you want to put a pint on a pretty lady's head. But Jacob, our young, sweet, adorable... Well, campers came out. Yeah, the campers came out. And the campers, we know. At this point. So, if I could tell where the bar is, because the pictures on the website

Did the place you went to? Well, yeah, there was a good there was a good an 80s party going on or something, right? Yeah A bachelor at parties happening too Oh my god, they were just dressed as like roller girls. Yeah, it was unbelievable. They're just like 80s fitness models Suspix Oh Jacob models, you went saw some picks. All right. She was. It was a lot of jokes. And then I think, oh, Jacob apparently I was who we start getting tech was a black Lou was who was who's the first report to news black Lou goes Jacob right now. Well, actually, when he left and he said he was going to go hang out

with those chicks. I was there. Two girls from the show. Yeah, I was like, oh, go get him. Jacob have fun. And he went off and And hung with him and then I started hearing from Lou Jacob Deep I didn't know he was giving you heavy make-out the whole night

What's have a night with the girl Amber right? Yeah, what the yeah, yeah, we're not gonna give her last name. We're gonna relax buddy. No one's gonna Listen three eleven things. She's excited Ember is the color of your red no gee unrelated unrelated We go like this. He's like I don't know. Yeah, sometimes I just get on that Get on that stage. Just get on that stage or something takes over over. You see how to blast that stage. You are fucking great. You are a people. People here what we're talking about. I don't want to give it away what it is, but you are fucking awesome, dude. Two of the young ladies who were on the running for our, while look at that. Two of the young ladies in the running for the dating show. We did,

ended up hanging out with Jacob and Jacob and Jacob and stuff, making out with the one I ended up hanging out with Jacob and Jacob and it's up making out with the one. Hot and heavy. All night long, but having a good conversation with her, right? Super cool, girls. Yeah, because we started to hear you when you were saying everything to her mouth. I start shooting guns and she's a, so she starts saying, yeah, I'm a hunter. A fish and she starts pulling out pictures of her pussy.

Oh no, all the animals She's been hunting since she was five or something. Yeah, you got to understand. This is his pussy picks No, but how you feel about pussy picks is her showing picture of game really? Yeah, we're starting her filet a flounder. Yeah, well, here goes. Wow. What the hell that's a sideways technique. Holy shit, bitch Give me a warning before I get a boner. Oh my god, I'm a jessimer in this bar roof. Hang on, Black Lose got something. Roof bar. Roof bar?

It's just an end. Jacob's underselling himself. Really? So far, yeah. I mean, you're basically the hitch of this situation. You're like the love, he's like the love guru Black Lose. You're having a good time. I mean, it's hilarious.

It's Black Lose. I'm saying, you come in, you always help Jacob coach. You're like, it's a low coach. Black Lose in a, and Reddable. Black L come in, you always help Jacob coach. You look like a low coach. Black, do, black, lose in a, and red, black, lose in a look, don't touch situation. Yeah. So these guys keep coming back to them, like, for words, like Roxanne.

Remember the Steve Martin movie? Yeah. Like, black, what do I say? She said, I look really good in this shirt. She said, black, what do I, he's like, say, thank you. Like, that's it? Just, I raise an eyebrow or something,

or I do it with my hands. We're shooting an ass-go. No, he has power, man. I'm telling you, you should have seen him, because he's, there's lots of wife, there's nothing in it for him. So, he's playing with house money. Yeah, there was nothing.

Thursday, Friday, we were after the show. He was hammered, I could say this right hammered hi I mean almost nodding off against the wall and this girl was like this with him blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah like couldn't stop talking to him he was barely conscious he just got a power and then said can I give you my number credible like do you have any other conversation She asked to give hit. Yeah. I'm saying she's like, can I give you my number?

It's never happened. Part that Jacob is under selling about himself in this is that when we were at that bar, there were actually two girls there to talk to him. Oh, yeah. And he was having a hard time dividing his attention between the two girls. Not at all. Who was the other one? Her friend?

No. He didn't want to say in front of Dan because he didn't want to piss Dan off. No, not at all. Who was the other one, her friend? No. He didn't want to stay in front of Dan because he didn't want to piss Dan off. The girl that wore off. No, I wasn't afraid of pissing off. Nevermind. Oh, you don't give away what happened. No, no, I can't give it away.

I'm not in. Do you take her? No. Do you take her from me? No. No. I was having a great conversation with Amber. She's just a very cool. Oh no, I know, but I'm saying it doesn't really there's no

Spoiler alert to it doesn't matter, but that's just the the person the bachelor from the yeah the person Who competed in the contest afterwards when they won? I was like so they're gonna go hang out this person and then I thought jeez Well can vanish to the world. No one knew where she was. I didn't know where she was But yeah, yeah, yeah, so pretty funny also. I know just talking about big red flag on an after they had to develop Well that person whose name that person Did vanish you're saying didn't we can do it we can give an update because there was no There was no official date ever made. Yeah's just cool hanging out she's uh... yeah

and jake and we thought you had some uh... some smash possibility her but she just uh... i was texting where there is a little so you're texting with one and fucking making out the other but you don't know you text us out of the picture oh my god all the contestants were you handling them all The other Betty Dulley You text us outlaw You slick bitch I was handling all the contestants

Were you handling them all? Oh yeah, you were I bet you were Oh, so they came out after the bonfire show Yes, yes, yes Interesting They came for the black loop but they stayed for the Jacob Jacob knows

Hey, Jacob, make sure it's not her checker molars How was it, dude? Cahot chick, real hot chick. It's bone up. Why was the, there she is. It's your bone up. That's not a good picture. That's not a good picture.

They were sneaked into a black loo with what's like, it was texting in your stale picture. By the way, they're both good pictures. Just funny, everything we put up, it's why it's not a good picture over. Oh, that's not, that's not a bad picture though. Look at that. No, no, wait, there's not a good picture. You're there right there. No, she's hot. Yeah hold hands hold Hands grab boob over the shirt. I was

No, come on Not even on the side. There was one One dress gets a muff on the address me day. No, it's a different question Somebody by the way Jacob you were running around doing that like a camper took a picture of you making out on the street So I don't know You know, it's a picture of Jacob making out You're just out about down sucking face in this in Austin Texas making on the streets super fun. Yeah Sure if you're obnoxious

Jacob it's nice. It is a fun thing to tell me if you're taking me out I'll tell you one funny thing because I was trying to, it's not laughing. Go ahead, tell us. Amber is a hunter, so she will go, she said she goes out to hunt by herself in the woods at like four in the morning, and she goes into a blind.

And I thought, man, you don't know the sissy you're talking to because I would never do that. Nobody in the room would do that. Would you just walk into the woods in the morning? For the morning? Yeah, by yourself. She goes by yourself?

Yeah, I thought that was bad at. She's her and her gun. Yeah, Amber. All right. But two things I've been doing. She's still your heart. I would do it because I'm thinking I'm either going to get mauled by a bear or a crazy guy's going to, you know, like do butt stuff to me and cut me

in the pieces. Probably shouldn't. You said that. No, I was thinking. I was like, I have a lot of respect for you because I would never do that. Well, I think she listened. So, you know, I also hope we got a crazy guy doing butt stuff. Clean.

She went hunting. Cuties can be Austin days. Drift in a way, but uh holding hands in a bar. Oh well. Oh well. Oh well. Oh Do you more tell me more did you make out in the street tell me more tell me more did you finger her butt? Oh, man, that's awesome, Jacob. I know we always give you shit for your love life, but it's cool that you made out with a camper and a street like a bad boy. On Tuesday's show, Big J was out shooting a movie and the big dog Shane Gillis sat in as a guest host.

Shane ran down his top five Game of Thrones characters and Dan Soder thought it spoke volumes about who Shane is. Our guest from the Philly contingency, Bull of Bulls, Dog of Dogs, Matt and Shane's secret podcast. Shane Gillis. Wow. Shane Gillis. You got to fucking get it, dude.

Yeah. Let's fucking go. Let's fucking get it. Jay is out killing vampires. Fuck Jay. No. No. God no. Shane's so combat of all the time. Killing vampires fuck Jay no

Shane's so combat of all the time Shane is a constant He's I think Shane on the insides constantly the hugging scene from step brothers That's Shane in his head come on Shane. He's like fucking good. You try to break me down last night Dude we're talking thrones game of thrones? I was telling you who I genuinely like. You're top five. My top five. It's pure villains. My top five.

Name them. Name your top five. Game of thrones. Number one, undoubtedly, Joffrey. Joffrey's your guy. King Joffrey was the best. He's like the way he worked. I just like to just fucking inbred, dude,

trying to get through life. He's not trying to get through life. He's trying to dominate, dude. He was hurt and people. Fuck yeah. You like a guy that puts a hurt on someone? Yeah. He's not trying to get through life. He's trying to dominate, dude. He was hurt and people. Fuck yeah. You like a guy that puts a hurt on someone? Yeah. He like found a crossbow at one point.

Yeah, that was like, dude, that's the scene where he was like, no! No, when you saw Jofrey in Game of Thrones with your crossbow, Jofrey carried the first couple of seasons. So, yeah. I mean, yeah, he did push it along. He's like, as a guy who loves that.

So you, Jofrey's your number one. Jofrey's number one. Who's your number two? Number hard number two is, uh. This is, I think, I know it's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York.

It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York.

It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. It's a New York. That's the guy that also feeds his sons to the living. He gives birth to his future prospects, sick, and then if it's a boy, he just feeds it to zombies. Are you saying you respect Craster because he uses a renewable resource?

Exactly. He's a renewable fuel. That's the green energy we needed. That's the green new deal. Inbreeding. That's the green new deal. The green deal is here to tell you. Inbreeding will leave a lower carbon footprint. Yeah. Yeah. Number three, Hound, like his attitude. I could have told you from the get-go before we even had this conversation if you're like, who's top five Shane's characters? I would have said Mountain.

Because I think you like a dead guy that comes back to dominate. I like the dead guy that is now just a giant moron. That's pretty funny. It's ready to watch him operate. Mountain? Mountain, yeah.

So you're taking Hound over Mountain. True, you're right about this. On paper, I just go with the mountain more. If I was the Hound's attitude. If I was Mel Kiper in your fucking Game of Thrones draft, I'd be like, Shane Gillis, really high up on the mountain. Love's a guy that's just mean that crushes heads, that's been dead a little bit.

He's got a good strength, he's a fighter, he's loyalty, his loyalty lies in evil, he burned his own son, I mean his brother, what? Banging a nun. He's banged a nun? Not against him. Oh yeah, it's her will. Remember that, you know, the name Cersei do the walk.

That's Shane Cersei. Oh yeah, he fucking fed her ass to the fucking mountain So are you moving the hound and putting in the mountain? I'm keeping man. Jofrey just looks like such a little bitch Jofrey is the man's his little fucking cheekbones. Wow. You like him too, Jacob? I love them I can retire he retired after a fact. He's not reacting anymore. That's a walkoff. That's why yeah Or also it's you getting threatened at Ralph's. It's like 11th, 13th, 11th, 11th, you're all getting shit talking about your back then. Like, fuck you, he's like- I'm a British dude.

Yeah, oh, who it is, Uncle Fri- It is, Uncle Fri. I, Uncle Fri, you're going down the produce, I'll ride out. He's like, hey guys, I'm actually from last time, it's just a joke, it's a story. I got cast on it. Please mister Yeah, quit your light. It is he's bullocks. This is for the stocks bending over the North doesn't forget Oh also I didn't think about it the giant the giant's a great character You got a giant actually to your top five right now are jaffery jaffery crafter hound

I'm going to Giant. The Giant, the one that got dropped by the loser. Wildling, but then he was the man when he was a wildling. Yeah, and like was fighting with snow in them, but then after death, he came back to squeeze that dumb little girl character. Come on. Yeah.

Great piece on my top. She's like her. She loves to. Oh, and by the way, that makes you a pervert. I should want, man. We spun out in a Game of Thrones talk, but this is just such a, this is, you see Shane for, you know, the bowl that he is.

Your draft picks are very indicative of, Geez, who's number five? Ho-door, Ho-door is a great number five for me. Ho-door is a good, he's like a good swing forward. It's literally, it's like draft in a center. Yeah, he's just there on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on. Hold on, hold on. God had to give him the gift of a human skin. We talk about that. What? I was just talking about the, oh, with Matt on the Secret Podcast. I was talking about how. Download Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast. You have a tiny teeness. Yeah, you can take on the world, dude. If you have a tiny dick.

If you have a teeness, just a small, tiny teeness. What's it? Why is a teeness, though? Just because of a tiny penis? Yeah, you're gonna have to fucking take on everything. So a teeness is the fuel to fucking. You got a big dong, you're just hanging out. You're a litigate. Yeah, do you get into fucking take on everything? So a teeness is the fuel to fucking. You got a big dong, you're just hanging out. You're a lady. Yeah, you're like EOR.

Yeah, you're just swinging around. You got a teeness, you're out fucking attacking people. Why do you like that little girl? You love little girls. You loved the little girl? Lady Mormont. Yeah. She's a badass, come on.

You like her. I genuinely don't like her. Really? Yeah, we were talking about last night. Yeah Shannon, Shannon, Vecchion were saying that they don't like that a little girl stood up at a war council meeting and started barking orders. Obviously It's a fantasy show, but it's like come on. We're gonna we're gonna pretend that that she's just standing up and punking a bunch of the order I mean, that's the whole she's like fucking ten Like Pumpkin a bunch of the order. I mean that's the whole she's like fucking 10 I don't want to eat if you had a kid controlling your house or just duck behind her. Yeah, just some fucking general like please Please don't fucking say that about vegetables. I thought you're I thought we got it actually tell them we're not fighting for them

I fought with your father and released your house from the tyranny. Please do not say you want stickers. It makes us look weak. We gotta stop going into these meetings, asking for stickers. Please stop asking for stickers. You're a 10 year old girl and I respect that. Please, come please, you're making us look very weak. I don't like to wait smells and hear it.

It doesn't smell like bubble gum and candy. Jesus fucking crap. Fucking it. I fucking eat in the lividies. God damn debates. I've killed 40 Fucking I fucking eatin' a livin' these goddamn debates. I've killed 40 men that I know of with a blade, close personal. She fires them. He's like, you know what?

I hope a fucking giant breaks in here and fucking squeezes you to death. Oh bitch, I hope you get crushed one day. You're gonna get crushed your little bitch. I got you. I should feel it and someone's gonna squeeze you to death. Wait, you're a little bitch. Well you're fired. I'm the queen. I, you don't fall out.

I'm the queen. I'm the head of my house. Yeah, dude. That's your favorite character. No, no, I think Jopper is my favorite. Hell yeah. All right, so we gotta agree with my top five. What a swing.

It's by the way of Jacobs, I don't know if you can tell it's both pics children. Jopper, he's a monster. Yeah, he's a monster. He's a monster. He's so much better as a bad guy than the new bad guy that's with Cersei. Yeah, that's like a... That guy stinks. Yeah, he looks like I call him bad leave shriver.

He really does. He looks exactly like Wario leave shriver. Yeah, that guy sucks. Dude, Game of Thrones, you know, people are like, I saw a tweet about billions, they're like, is it a fucked up, they're a compliment, a creator of billions, and he's like, what are you talking about? He's like, Game of Thrones is a phenomenon. He's like, people will watch billions. It's like, we're not, it's not the ratings anymore, it's not the fucking 80s, because everyone

I know watched Game of Thrones, and like, people, he's streaming. You don't, I mean, Game of Thrones, you watch live, because you're excited for it to come out. But that's why he's just watching this But that's also the last fucking four episodes. Yeah Hey, it's black glue on Wednesday's bonfire big J with silhouette shooting is Hollywood movie and this time Justin silver and Mike Vecchio and sat in with Dan Justin defended his aggressive food ordering technique and then Everyone discussed the dark side of the Hasidic community in Brooklyn, New York Justin is this friend if you need something at a something at a restaurant that they didn't bring you, Justin is the best person to have with you.

Totally great. When we were at Sam's Superlatives, which is a sandwich place, I think it's called Sam's Superlatives, it's something superlatives. It's a great sandwich place in Providence, Rhode Island. And we were there just to just go and talk to the guy. It's like super busy in just this. Yeah. Hey, can you do this? goes and talk to the guy. It's like super busy in justice like hey, can you do this So excited to do it. He wasn't so excited

But let me just say the thing let me say the thing this is true The joke of it is is like oh Justin so push it up nox and drives everybody crazy that is it wait wait Just let me say but that's the joke like Jay always makes it like that because he's got a fucking hazy me on everything like you know I'm saying because he loves you. I know he loves you But the point is the real truth is I am charming about the way I go about it I do have a I do have a pushy voice however make people smile make people and still get the shit done They're not spitting in the food because I'm obnoxious, but I was like hey, buddy Is it possible to make this into a rap? He couldn't have been more excited. Let me tell you to make it into a rap He was bored of two pieces of bread all day. Justin, look at me.

You need to bring it down a little bit, but I agree, you move it along. I know, it's speedier rate. He does. Sometimes, some of us don't like how fast you go. Right. Because the winds whipping around and we're afraid that you're pissing off the people that are touching our food.

Let me say something. I'm the opener and my guy, the headliner here needs extra ketchup. You think I'm waiting for some fucking guy at Sam's apartment to get his hat I was asked to get my poor Danny Soder ketchup a guy to get the Providence after this one All of a night only on the Sunday. I'm sure hoping Shane Gillis is listening to this because it's gonna open up more opening Opportunities if he takes this kind of attitude forward. Oh Shane Gillis. Yeah, is that a threat to my friend? No, no Threaten them. No, no, no, but this is why I'm saying this is what this is what an opener

This is the ideal opener. Oh, oh you threaten in shame. Yeah, I like that. I like I like about Mike You just he just barked at me for walking up to the door. He didn't know I was there. Yeah, he did I just said he's like I'm sorry. I live with this fuck. Well you guys lost me at the sandwich because that means you both are eating bread Which lied to me about. You didn't eat bread. I don't even know. That's why you did that rap. You think that body eats bread?

No. This body eats bread. That body. This old loaf of bread is eating bread. That's good. Even when you go way off, you don't really put on weight. I'll tell you exactly what you're sure of.

I have a strong guy in 1925 body. You really do. Longshoreman. Yeah, I just look like the Miley Tan pants. Like a little bit of a belly, but I can see it in the shoulder, so I can lift it up. Can you grow a full beard?

Yeah, buddy. He's like a thick big beard. Yeah, I can see it coming in. Jewish. Okay, is that a thing? Can all Jews grow facial hair? Yeah, the swardy ones can. Okay, sorry.

Have you seen them like dress like Marilyn Manson up in fucking dress like Marilyn Manson up and fucking... Just like Marilyn Manson? Yeah, like the Hasidics. The beautiful people, the Jewish people, the Jewish people. The Jewish people. The Jewish people. Oh, ho, ho.

They're not dressed like, why don't you say Marilyn Manson? They look like, because it's like the middle of Sumpur, and they've got like black trench coats on for, they look like they look to me like Gothrock. They look chosen. it's like the middle of summer and they've got like black trench coats on for they look like they look to me like goth Rock they look chosen like the chosen ones Listen, I'm gonna let you attack The Jewish people are you all I'm attacked the Jewish people Sittocks you see that documentary one of us. I was just think about how they take when they take their clothes off at night

Like in the summer it has to feel so good to hit that breeze But smell great in that car. Yeah On a Friday no electricity so forget the air condition. Let me just take these layers of fur off late July Human July Don't worry. I've got cheese right here. I bet the room smell changes almost instantaneous With a gay guy that was he was like an overweight gay guy that would give naked massages when he first moved to the city and a lot of his clients were his seducing Jewish men. Yeah, with a like, let me down you big,

fuck, fuck, fuck, I want you to make me pop. Wait, to make me pop? Yeah. Do you mean Shane called, Shane called coming, Shane called coming pulsing yesterday? And I can't stop saying that. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

Pulse it, yeah. Pulse it, hell yeah. Fuckin' pulse. You've got a pulse? Oh hell yeah. Fuckin' pulse on. Justin gets tribal. Yeah. Yeah, I really fucking draw the line in the sand.

Don't you make me go to my fucking pool. Why is it got to be about sand? You want me to go to the fucking big pink skins? We burn and we sail My people are a fucking problem with a thin river Mike. I won't bring up the italians even though you're women are excellent lovers They know He says it it's funny, but it does make me a little bit Shot once or twice without my getting actually hurt when I go again though, phenomenal in the sack.

Crackle Crackle. This is DJ Liu. And Thursday's Lost Taves was the premiere of our live show from the Moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas. Here's a little bit from our Bonfire dating game. As a contestant, I was answering in Pearl Jam lyrics. Jay Dan and Christine were giving funny answers and good old big dick patot was killing it

as the host of the game. Enjoy. Yes, sir, yes. Yeah. Fabulous, fabulous. Right this way, right this way. I love confident game host Jacob. Yeah How sexy is this ladies

He's taken control time to meet our bachelor at now. She's originally from Nashville Her favorite activity is watching comedy gay Watching comedy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys ready to meet this clam? It's Katie.

Katie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, here is your Bachelor at! Let's start the BOMFIRE dating game!

Katie, please ask them. Question number one. Okay, for Bachelor number three, if you were a dessert, what would you be? Froyo. Froyo? Do you have a good reason for it? I really like Froyo. You want to beat it?

I think I think I said the box more than that. Can I answer for us? A frozen banana skin on so it doesn't break in your butt. What about that slew number two? I would be Twinkie. I would be somewhat hard and then leak cream before I wanted to. Okay, and Bachelor number one. Freezing. Rest his head on a pillow made of concrete. Again. Yay!

Yay! Yay! Yay! I'm tired to follow. Fabulous, fabulous. Hey, this town has so many beautiful women and so few blacks. So who's fucking your fat chicks? Katie, next question, please. For Bachelor number two, for Bachelor number two, are you more a fell dog or hamster?

Please explain. Oh. I would say that I'm a hamster in the streets in a fell dog in the sheets. I'm not going to just randomly boof you in a trailer, but I will brainwash you and adjoining my family band. What about that's your number one? Clearly, I remember picking on the boy. It seemed to harm this little fuck.

Wonderful. You really are a broken man. Katie, let's move on to question number three. Okay, bachelor number three. If you could do one ad read for me that would be sweep me off my feet, what would it be? You think pulling branch sheets? Soft sheets. Are you implying like fucking on them?

Yeah, okay. I had my Christine's conference to think that we're going to fuck Katie on pulling branch sheets at some point. I was going to say more like put a blink cam in a toilet bowl, but that's why I wear a mug, you know, I wore a little different. Uh, uh. Uh.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Can I ask the other bachelors? Fantastic. Please. Okay. How about Bachelor number one?

I'm scared. Is that the question? And if so, who answers? Who answers? I can't. Fantastic. One more time for Black Lou by the way, a guy is 90% cock.

Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday 90% cock. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.