The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - What a Weirdo (feat. Justin Silver)
Episode Date: April 29, 2022DJ Lou thinks he's saving the day after a spill with unnecessary heroics!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM....com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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And now back to the bonfire with Big J. Ocarus in a dance odor. Black Lou? Black Lou? Yes, sir. Do you have any of you just happened in this room?
Do you have any clue what happened?
I have no clue what just happened.
I just want to take a show off.
First off, oh yeah, so you saw, you took some crazy...
Oh, hold on.
Yeah.
First off, welcome back to the bonfire.
Series XM, FactiTalk 103, I'm Dan Soder.
That's Big Joke, or some...
We got most of the crew in here.
Black Lou at home, in the studio.
A whole show Justin Silver, the Beast Master.
Thank you.
We're all like, we're all like, dumb of the phone.
I am Justin Silver on social media.
And it's left, my cheeks were hurting.
So, in between, Black Lou has inspired us to,
it's, I'd actually call it the Black Lou table.
He created a table for producers to sit at
that you can, you're right by us.
It was the same setup you had yesterday, black glue. So it's the laptop with the microphone
and the headphones. And there's a wire coming across because the headphones are plugged
in to the main console. Yeah. There is a plastic cup of or a paper cup of water.
Great. Whatever is about to be great.. Whatever it's about to be great.
Yeah, it's about to be able to get off our balls, right?
It's there is a glass of water on the table behind the laptop.
DJ Lou walks in and tries to go under the headphone jack, the wires, which is crazy.
You could have just picked it up.
Yeah, I'm practicing limbo for the swing of screws
I'm going on as we get.
And instead he does it,
well, when he does it, it rocks the table.
The glass goes over, water goes over the whole desk.
It did rock table, I think the cord actually just pushed
right in.
Just knocked it.
I probably clip my hat, I almost cleared it.
It wasn't your hat, cut your hood.
You're going to need it.
All right, I didn't make it.
So, the water goes all over the table.
It doesn't touch the laptop, but then Jacob pours most of it off.
But while everyone runs the go get paper towels.
Is it water?
Yeah.
Is it just water?
Yeah.
Which is what makes this better?
I thought it was coffee or something, which made the effect of its water.
It makes it so much more of a severe overreaction what
you did, Luke.
What did Luke do, Jay?
Luke, I didn't know what he was doing at first.
I assumed when he knocked this thing over, I'm seeing a little bit from a bit of a distance.
Sure.
I was like, oh, he probably got water on his shirt.
Yeah.
And so he starts very quickly, panic and a panic friendsy almost tearing
off his hoodie. I mean like someone is on fire and needs to be put out. I took a minute
to think about it and then I took a shim screaming don't that listen people have already dispersed
to go get gone. When now I know's simply some paper towels for a water spill.
Uh, I'm not enough for Lou. Lou, I look at him while he's peeing. I think he goes,
don't look at me. Don't look at me. I'm like, why are we going to any peels down to his
little tiny, tiny pink nippy body? If we got puff nips, Lou is the opposite of us.
The cameras did not have a condition to air that. You got to block out my body. If we got puff nips, Lewis is the opposite of us. The cameras did not have a commission to air that.
You got to block out my body.
They got damn do they.
They are airing that.
You got little, little, little German nippies.
That's the segment, Lewis.
I don't get permission to blur out my tits and asses.
You can blur it out, but you have to air it.
You're not the manager of this, Jacob.
Just the fucking thing.
I am the man.
He's a man.
He's a man. First off, there's nothing fake about our pet against run
is my going to do something to say you're on there you're good
cool
so I hold on black lose got to pause it what's up
I just wanted to remind DJ Lou of the signs that are on the outside of the
door
that they can use anything as soon as you walk in studio
oh
you fucking
point dude you got girls this how girls go wild got to wait with it for years As soon as you walk in studio
Dude you got Girl's gonna well got away with it for years. Yeah, talk to HR mother fuckers. You ain't airing that
You're gonna be on the cover such a pink pink and pink body
Talk to my agent you cock suckers
So cute
I'm actually tired of being goofed on for fucking five days straight
I try to be a year off your shirt off. So so he rips his shirt off. So you were a hero. It's like the kind of thing I
You guys are you guys all look so great except for Justin
Just looks fantastic. It's looks fuck you
Just looks fantastic
Not just know what you did I agree I would desperately beg to not have the footage of myself. I got put at all
I'm gonna say we did so he rips off
I don't know what it is
Peels down and the t-shirt to the thing. And he chucks it.
The t-shirt at the crash site.
And puts his hoodie back on.
He's still saying, don't look at me.
And then we're like, what if you do it?
And he goes, use that!
Use that to get this thing!
The dry thing, it's not necessary.
And we thought the shirt said, world's best uncle. But it turns, the dry thing, like, it's not necessary. And we thought the shirt said
world's best uncle, but it turns out the shirt says, I'm the favorite uncle. Because you're
willing to lay down, that was such shivo'rilo. I know, he made fun of me for it. Well, we are
making funny for because it was the most unnecessary move of heroics.
There is zero.
Sometimes when you save people, they're not really grateful.
They're a bunch of cocksuckers.
It was water!
It was safe.
It was even on the computer.
I saved the computer.
I saved the electronics.
You saved everybody.
Thank you.
We could have melted.
I didn't just solve.
I don't think you guys are being appreciative of the rules.
Justice get nervous because if Lugo's fucking post,
all justice is gonna be a last one out of here.
He's got a bad fucking boot.
He's got a bad wheel.
He's got to fight off a bear with a fucking leg.
I don't like this.
It's supposed to be a real sin.
I don't like to go fight on the wall.
Don't like the jacko.
There's a lot of water. no one was doing jack squats!
How are we ready to get paper towels?
Very slowly you were.
Damn, damn. You're going from here over the road.
I don't know how to answer this lunacy book.
Look, your reaction is...
Lou? Why don't you come by a bend again?
Have a dackery.
Have a dackery.
Listen, listen. Why don't you sit down up in our our legend section there's other firefighters there you guys could swap stories about
Firefighters eat 75% off all done again. Oh, you can tell stories. No, that's my friend Jay
That's a baseball batting got engraved in hilarious comedy club
Exactly they gave that to him because he did five shows
Lou I get where your upset because you in your mind it was such a heroic thing to do.
You sacrificed for us and now you're being sort of dumped on by it.
But I'm saying, like, I don't, I disagree with everybody here.
I think we do it was beautiful.
You're a fucking liar.
What?
And there's a reason that you're selling cocaine at all.
So that he would laugh in the hardest.
What do you think looks like a guy by Coke from you if you don't say he's a great thing. Can I say something? Heroes don't pay for coke. I just give it to him.
That's why he's gonna wind up. And at Bannigan's that counts for all of you.
Be a hero. And everybody's a hero at Bannigan's. Don't you want to just hug his pink body?
Yes. Yes. He's a shirt off. It was heroic. I want to put it on a swatham. I know. But I want to say this. Nice arms, thick arms.
Good buys. I was looking at your buys. I'm not a not superficial like that Jacob. I don't care
about bodies. You mean your buys look nice. About it's just about it. We've all got a body.
I think that you accept the fact that your train yard strong. Are you that jack from pulling like,
you know, people like Wells? Working on the railroad.
Pain coin.
Pain.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it.
I'm saying it. I'm saying it. I'm saying it. I'm saying it. I'm on it. Thank you
I finally got black Lou dev jam laughing
You know how long you know how long of a road we've gone down You guys can compliment each other's bodies on the air. That was great black
Lou
Black Lou, what do you think of loose body? Did you see it on the camera? No, I think you give us your perspective yet
No fucking idea what was happening you're like all of a sudden lose peeling down
He goes are they about to have a fucking gay or key? Oh, yeah, he's gonna like guys guys guys my camera's on I can see guys guys guys guys
Guys guys blackloon the room. That's always the funniest part of every like you see all those videos where it's like
Zoom conference where the teacher didn't know the kids were still on and she started getting fucked by her boyfriend
And there's always someone going like guys. Hey guys guys. There's oh God. Oh lord. Oh, they're going for it now guys
And they go oh daddy fuck it. Wait, they have those yeah
Zoom mistakes people getting fucked on zoom please. Oh, yeah, that exists for sure
Black Lou, what was your perspective of what you saw what you think when
you saw loop you'll down
honestly it didn't bother me at all and i was telling you this uh...
all the right i was a potential HR issue
couple weeks ago
uh... i've met his ex-girlfriend and i know his girlfriend now
uh... both are very aesthetically pretty and i was asking him like
you got something that you're not sharing with us
Man, like you got some swag tell us what's going on and I think I just saw it
Yeah, I stood I was built
He strips that shirt off and they go okay
Yeah, you really are you're giving yourself way too much
Beat up on your body your body was fine to me the action of you did, you ripped off a t-shirt to stop water
from being on the floor is the most bonkers thing
of the whole thing.
It was blood.
It would have been a tourniquet for you, Jay.
That would have made a lot of sense.
It's also a great lyric.
Also, don't.
If we're in here, use a wire.
We have a lot of wires.
But if that was coffee, and you were worried about,
I'm like, you're trying to stop him getting on the floor
and marking the floor and maybe,
to me, I'd be like, sorry, serious,
there's coffee on the floor.
But if you were willing to like dive down there
and throw a shirt underneath it, that makes sense.
It was water.
I didn't stop to think about the costs or the consequences.
You just acted.
Plus, that's what heroes do.
Jacob, I felt responsible, but also he didn't have a top on Plus, that's what heroes do. Jacob, I, I, I felt responsible,
but also he didn't have a top on it, and that's what's gonna happen. Yeah. Now a fucking nephew or
niece who gave you this shirt, you're like, thank you for that shirt. I was able to save a man's life.
Yeah. It was water. So I don't put the top also. Also, you made a chock wire. That was a trip wire.
Damn. Yeah, because Justin's sitting there, so I wanted to sit where.
It all falls back on Justin.
There you go.
The one guy who thought was backing you up, Lou.
I admit that.
I admit that.
But the lid is so I don't throw plastic into the ocean.
Damn.
But there was Earth at all times.
But it was water on electricity, Lou.
So you were kind of right about that
You have a answer tilted killed twin peaks are Benagans
twin peaks all day
All right God bless have phone
No, but we're doing this domestic first
Domestically, I'm on board with bed against. Okay. All right. Now you're singing the right song. Could we put cream cheese in our poppers?
Done.
And also, I would expect that.
Also, I know I think this is a friendly's rip,
but I would like on the not just kids menu,
but the regular dessert menu,
an ice cream sundae in and upside down baseball helmet.
Absolutely.
All 32 teams available.
Okay.
And the super red.
That's NFL.
We'll do the small NFL helmet and let's do it
NFL helmet son. It's better than the baseball hell. Yeah, and we'll do a little little insert so you know it can you can actually because it'll fall
out of the face mask. Yeah, oh, yeah, little plastic little plastic, little plastic for big ice cream flavor. So then again, dude bring it
Bring it. It's happening
Are you gonna start giving me why are you giving those down black? I'm gonna start giving me gluten free menu shit Jacob. We're not thinking that far ahead
Yeah, blackly wants a tilted kill black little black. What do you want? We're gonna have a great tilted kill every holiday?
Sanco to Mayo
St. Patrick's Day is gonna be pretty lick
You can just instil for it to be my one male waiter. You know how there's always that one male waiter
and a little girl staff. He's the coke guy. I don't think he's gonna be looking for that guy.
Black Lou, I don't think he's looking for it to be in on the floor for it. I don't want to.
Are you are you okay with a heavy amount of coke weight moving through this place?
In the domestic one? Yes. Yeah. In the domestic one.
Black Lou, listen, you can, I respect that you want to open until the
Kilton God bless you and your, your, your maximum tastes.
Your dream?
Maxim magazine tastes.
We're going to be over here building a franchise known as bed against.
All right, let's all jump in on the bed against and then, and then the,
you take your, you take your earnings and you go do what we do.
Here's what we do.
Lose, Black Lou and and white, little and DJ, little.
We need to take our earnings from our Benagans
that's gonna be kicking ass for sure,
for our hands on.
For thriving.
And then we don't dump into, let's not franchise anymore.
Let's think outside the box and make a combination
of twin peaks until to the kill.
Like our own version of the word.
Tilted peaks.
It's you have chicks with wonky tits.
How about I like the idea of a place
that's a little more that's just
minorly sexy during the daytime.
And then like the 11 to 2 o'clock hour,
where really maybe you see some asshole.
Oh, but also a fantastic fish menu.
I like that.
What kind of thing?
What would that be?
No, I think some broiled stuff too nice
I will look forward to hearing about how it goes at all of our Traci and drawn butter and butter are trade yeah our trade conferences
Like a blue to keep like a blue martini type of place
That's a fucking sexy my
Jay would get bummed out and start like fighting customers pretty quick
You started to know the girls
Yeah, they started her getting harassed about you dude. No, we have a bounce don't with a bounce. Yeah, I set up hands on
He starts talking out of the job. I'm not a fucking bouncer first of all. I'm a cooler. Do you guys even watch movies?
I mean as he loves the drop you love the draw come do that
You don't need to show your breasts.
Guys, I always need you to be nice.
Be nice.
Be nice.
Be respectful.
And then I'll be over here with zero conflict at Medagins
because everyone's having a good time.
So wake me up when September ends.
But whenever a guy points in my face,
so I'm gonna learn a wrist grab that's what pulls our back
and then hits his head in the table and I go, you wanna try that again?
I'll be like, sorry, sorry.
I'm gonna see that.
And then you guys just come to throw him out and I'll be like, no, no, no, let him stay.
I think he learned.
This is so like not me anymore, but I used to get, I worked at this 50's, Diner Rubies, and I used to get in trouble for stealing.
Screaming inward, it was the 50's.
No, for stapling my skirt up to short. Yeah. That's right. Damn, blackly. Oh, I'm gonna left my grade. No, I was
actually gonna try to riff on it and say she was doing what they got the
fire hose on the side. But they don't Christine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He tried, damn, but she just wouldn't shut up about the real thing. Wait, what
was it? I was really happy to get that N word joke out.
I say I get in trouble for stapling my skirt up too short.
Oh yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Why was you in trouble?
Because it had to be a certain length.
Like a fifties?
I had to like go down, I think, to your fingertips.
Sluts were beaten in the fifties.
Yeah.
Is it supposed to be here, came below your skirt?
Not like you guys is tilted, kill although they'll just be giving away nachos
and fucking gone.
You know, I don't know.
I don't think I've ever been to a tilted kill,
but I will tell you for sure that I've been the twin peaks
and I will probably be going in a couple of weeks again
as it is in the parking lot of San Antonio after the gig.
You're going over to fucking twin peaks,
but you ever gone for a lunch shift?
What a bummer.
No, I have not.
I went to the one off 225 in Denver.
The only one I've ever gone to was that one
in San Antonio, but I gotta say, yeah, I thought
it was so much better food-wise,
leaps and bounds better than fucking hooters.
Who does the worst?
How is that still, how is that,
how are they not coming under like chalk pressure?
Because the chicken wings it's just known they like they have pretty good chicken wings
So most people just go there for that and for some odd reason crab legs even if they're landlots Do you mean pressure for being like a creepy ass company? Yes, that's what I meant hooters because now they hire fats
That's why they have it on their
Those dove commercials that's why not even because of that just because because now you have to hire a fat
But I've seen a pregnant hooters girl before my
No, no, no, it's not different. Stay home. It's an odd job
Don't enter me in the dunk contest. I'm okay with that. You should have to be able to do
She goes, how are you guys doing today? You're good. How are you doing? She's like feed the bark and lower back
I'm late in this third trimester. It's crazy to hire fat chicks at What are you guys doing today? You're good, how are you doing? She's like feeding the bark and lowering back.
I'm late in this third trimester.
It's crazy to hire fat chicks at hooters.
Get the wink.
It's a crazy job to apply for.
I shouldn't even say fat.
There's some bigger girls at Rock of Hooters outfit.
You know what I mean?
It's like big old, some big old biggles?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.
But I'm saying someone who looks sloppy in the uniform. You know what I mean, it's like big old, some big old biggles. Yeah, I wouldn't mind that. But I'm saying someone who looks sloppy in the uniform.
Do you know what I mean?
Like baggy body or a 50 year old or something.
Oh, wait a minute, this party.
That's what I'm saying, Christine.
I agree with you.
There's a weight limit at this party.
Damn, Christine.
That's where you have to yell to him every morning
when you come in to do your weigh-ins.
God damn, do you think you guys are gonna have
a successful tilted guilt?
Oh yeah, for sure.
Oh, Christine Cracken down these bitches.
We're gonna hire fats who look good.
Yeah, you're gonna change their lives.
I like that.
Yeah, fats with BBLs.
Yeah, fat, well, they don't have to have the surgery
but they could have, yeah, those big old crazy butts.
We're some fucking wonked up titties.
Hell yeah.
For sure.
Fats allowed.
I'm calling it your sub your sub franchise after we make the
Benniggas money.
You're going to find out that we're going to be definitely
better.
We're going to be filtering some of these chicks in through the
Benniggas just so you know, and then I'll be your farm system.
When I see some real talent. I'll talk to him
about coming over to the moon. Yeah, I thought about moving to a demoling twin peaks. What are we
calling our place though? I thought you're franchising it. You got to call me. No, I think we got to start
our own ass in tits place. I will be calling mine Benagans for anyone that wants to know it will
be Benagans. You can just I'll see it. Benagans. Oh, let's call ours a little Bruce and Big Chris's wild ride.
Yes.
Too long.
What?
Too long of a name.
Look, eventually people just call it little Bruce's.
No, you should just call it little Bruce.
Little Bruce is a great name.
Just little Bruce's in general.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How does it sell that it's gonna be hot ass?
You think word catching on you think we understated?
A logo.
You just go ahead.
Yeah. It's like a strip clubly
game nicks. People like oh nicks like nicks. Cabaret. You see what I'm saying?
Yeah, then we do the logo. It's like a little like a little guy and he's like under a titty and then he's got like a
Trader drinks in the other hand. You do say like that. The scales adjust the way. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes.
Oh, one's got ass and one's got titties in it because the scales are unwitting. Why don't you just call it visual?
Yes, Dan. I'm open in the suggestion.
You are a partner in my bed against.
Why don't you call it pus in boots?
That's a name of something.
Sure, but you can show it.
Oh, you know what?
You can't, you can't copyright a name.
Have a pussy and shoes.
I love it.
Pussy and shoes?
Snatch and sandals.
That's all they have.
What is pussy and shoes?
Pussy and shoes.
It's like a store of hot version of it. P all they have what is pussy and shoes
Because the girls in pussy and shoes. Yes, I see pussy and shoes sure
Yes, what is that mean because I don't know it's for sneaker heads who want to see pussy like the girls come out in all different kind of
Posit to come out in the new J's
Easy That's a fucking sexy theme now. Girls and sneakers.
Yeah, like guys, again, I'm gonna be different.
I'll be vacationing with a family and assman.
We're gonna do that too.
We're gonna do that too.
Doing that too.
You guys have fun.
I like it.
I like it.
There are keenies, but they're all wearing, like,
fresh Jordans.
Yes.
And we call it Jordans. Yes, and we call it
Jordan and Zzzz. That's how That's not a horrific idea. You were doing so good
I don't like that. We could have taken a commercial break after that first part of the idea and then
God damn it. We let you keep going to Jordan's thing suck with the Zs. Who are we?
Why are we not doing pussy and shoes?
That was the whole idea. Puss and shoes so now we're back. Yes
Puss and shoes and also chicken and we'll also have very good chicken tender
Listen you guys can hire me and Jacob outside for a hundred K and just outside cash to come in and help you guys get your franchise up and running
Chicken tenders by way should be thigh meat. Well that I'm just saying. What about breast meat? Huh?
We're about breast meat? Huh? Yeah.
What about breast meat?
I think thiamy is a good name for the restaurant. Thiamy is great.
That's a great name for the restaurant.
Call thiamy.
Thiamy.
Thiamy.
And you spell it with THYMET.
ET.
So it's like, you know, it's like a sexy black girl's name.
Okay.
Hold on.
We don't need to make it racial.
I wasn't racial.
We'll call it.
We'll just look at Lou.
He's laughing.
I'm okay.
He's on the board. We got I'm okay. He's on the board
He's on the board he's gonna be on the
One rounds really good at thymies
I have my producer hat on right now, so I'm a little distracted can I just say it say to Adam the editor of today's show I
Know they're gonna blur it with the,
and that's fine, Lou.
But keep the pink.
Keep the pink.
I want to actually just see like a blur of pink.
I want them to see.
I want them to see the pink.
I'll send you some photos.
Keep your arms.
I can whack off too.
I want people to know.
Guys, you've got some good arms.
Before you guys work into a homo erotic tizzy.
Can I start buying you some cut
off shirts would that be cool please start rocking the guns you're under show
the buy is low I mean the worst shape of my life I just had to do it because that's
what the moment call can I feel your buy now now I'm sorry to pull the brakes
right now there's a moment did not call for that at all there were several things
besides that dude he's got guns yeah. Yeah, we call them guns in the neighborhood
Why don't you just fucking peel that thing off the rest of the show?
We'll worry it is gonna be a very pinky bluer
Justin I'll do it just take a short. That's different. Well, besides me and Justin
If you do it, I'll do it. Sorry dude besides us doesn't I'll do it sweatshirt law if you're wearing a sweatshirt
You can't take it to do it for the show if you I'll do it. Jacob you won't do it
No, I have to lose,
I'm too vain, I have to lose a little bit of stomach
that I have.
I can't believe you won't be able to do it.
I'm very awesome, fun with, but I can't.
I can't believe you won't throw down
with how much you enjoyed these shirt-ups.
I have to train when I know my shirt's coming off.
Tell me about it.
You get the DuPoys shops first?
Do some push-ups.
Go ahead and start it. Jacob get to do push-ups first? Do some push-ups. Go ahead and suck it.
Jacob, go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line.
Go down my line. Go down my line. Go down my line. Go down my line. Go down my line. Do you take off your clothes to throw them at the problem? Yeah, no, I don't.
Surprise you didn't take like a shoe off and give them a sock.
What? That's what it would have been way worse.
I was looking all around the room to stop it up with something and there was no locks.
You lose my boxes.
You say, hey, take my pants off.
I hate my dangling. Hey, sound like that, I'm a hero.
Yeah, you're right.
This looks like you sound like that.
This looks exactly like I sounded.
Hey everybody, look out.
Use my shirt.
Why it looks like a solution, furf taking off my shirt.
Oh, my dear weak friend Jacobs in trouble.
I need help by throwing my shirt.
I want to say that all in shirt. I thought he was...
I want to see him all in a day's work, young Jacob.
Finally, your computer is safe from harm's way.
Now, excuse me while I go rip a butt.
First of all, you thought those nipples were tight
when he showed them before.
Now that he's not layered, going home,
those things are going to be fucking ripping through glass.
Better put some tape over those, buddy.
I hope he doesn't walk into a fucking glass store cuz he's gonna crack it. Yeah, dude
You're gonna have fucking marathon nipples diamond cutter
You know what band-aids over them some bitches so you don't get hurt on the way home chafed up
Yeah, Terry right to that sweatshirt. I don't know what it's made up
I'm gonna throw some band-aids over them some bitches
You have better nipples than J and I
And me rate nipples than J and I. Dan man.
Right nipples.
I don't have any mirrors in my house.
You mean Dan and I.
You meant Dan and I.
You said J and I.
Right, right.
My nipples may be the best thing on my body.
You got good nipples.
I got a decent nips.
You got terrible nips.
You got terrible nips.
You got terrible nips.
You blow them away.
You hate the bottle?
It's totally my nips.
Got it.
No one you perk them up. When I perk them up, I don't want to say anything. Give yourself the bottle you story man. Oops got it. No, when you perk him up
When I perk him up, I don't want to say give yourself a little belly tickle. That's the funniest in the world
Yeah, look at what a weird scene
You're molly to do you
What's up? You're taking the shirt off?
No, but see, right now, this is shrunk and nice and tight,
and this one's still tough.
Yeah, well, too late.
My mouth's nipped, because I only...
I can't believe they're not connected.
I only pinched this one.
Wait, you can make one hard at the second.
You can like wink.
That's crazy to me.
I think my nips just are both good at a hard,
or if they're soft, they're like both soft.
You know, I can get one going.
Like I'm ticked.
One right now. I'm tickling this one
I do see it. This one's all puff
It's all this is tight. Oh wow
What is there a little birdie through the fucking sweatshirt and then this one's all puffy. I'm gonna give you a job
It uh thime me dude. I told you right now. I'm gonna be on vacation with my lovely wife and dog and assband
We're running betting it
So let me tell the story before I forget it.
Please.
So years ago, I brought Tim Dylan with me to quality meet,
to quality attack, because they're open in Denver.
He took Trish and I out.
Going to eat with Tim Dylan is so, you know, it's so fun.
Yeah.
He just calls out orders, he knows what he wants,
he like asks the right questions.
His uncle worked there, his uncle knew we were going,
so they were kind of expecting it. And we go to eat at this lunch. My mom has two fucking vodka martinis. I mean,
with a steel kick or whatever they say, I don't know, she made it fucking extra.
So she was getting fucking half in the bag. Tim orders all this food that he had to chicken parm.
Pizza. It's for two chicken parm pizza comes out like a pizza.
You have a cut, you put honey on it. Wow. Delicious. Bully Samo. Last night, I
take Katie to quality Italian because I haven't gone since that and I was like,
we haven't gone on a date since COVID. Like a proper date. So let's fucking go
up. We meet up there. We go to dinner. We order the chicken parm. We're sitting there
eating it. And this guy that looks exactly like John C. We go to dinner. We order the chicken parm. We're sitting there eating it and this guy that looks exactly like John
C. Riley in winning time
Playing Jerry bus. So he's got the hair kind of push this guy's chest nest rats nest
He's got his chest hair out and he comes up and he stands in between our tables. We're at two top and he goes
How is it? It's a lot right and Katie's like what the fuck like oh
Yeah, it's a lot like it's good. It's really good, but it's a lot but she's like being nice
But we're like all right guy, and I'm like yeah, it's real good and he just looks at me like they're right
He goes back to Katie and he's like talks good right? Yeah, they just totally that. I was hitting on I don't know
He's being creepy. He was just like yeah, and then he walked away. Katie's like that guys if he doesn't work here
Which I don't think he does he's definitely
An agent of some sort it was like his creepy energy. I'm trying to think if anyone's ever hit on Christina from before
Well, it doesn't end so we're eating nice. We're laying the dinner. It's guys committed
There's another two top that gets sat next to us. Young couple,
21 maybe. Hot. Not really. The girls like kind of cute. They look like kids. Like we're
just like god damn these kids next to us are young. Rich fucks. They get the chicken
parm. Fucking the leprechaun of chick parms shows up. And he's like comes over to that girl
and he goes it's a lot isn't it. and Katie and I are like what the fuck is this guys
Deal come to the side of weirdo. I don't know he had to
He worked I don't know I don't think he's the Rocky Bob oh walks right
When I go didn't know good. Oh chicken bomb. That's a lot
It's a rip but he feels like it's a whole chicken am I right Do you remember the young man was smart and didn't speak to him like I did.
I thought he wanted to be friends with both of us.
Do you remember the fresh ground pepper guys?
Yes.
A little more first mouth pepper.
Yeah, yeah.
A little more.
Who was it?
Christi Alley?
They did it a couple times.
Yeah, they did a couple times.
Christi Alley was the main one.
They didn't lick their face a bunch.
Sandler came out in the thong.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, he's sick to rust.
He's
him.
This guy was more like, Hey, how you doing?
And then then when I was like, Oh, this is the other guy tried to talk to me at the same
thing.
So I said, the other man was smart.
He didn't speak.
He just laid low.
He's like, that's fine.
Just get the fucking to start the thing with the honey.
It's so good.
Yeah.
I know.
I know.
No, this guy didn't be like, hey, I'm a manager.
I want to combine Sam.
He just was like, how good is the G?
The whole it was weird.
I don't even know where he was sitting.
We tried to follow him after that.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him.
You were seeing him. You were seeing him. You were seeing him. You were seeing him. You were seeing him. but the honey makes it go down a little smooth. Why don't we go get a nice drink at Roo 56 after this?
Maybe a nightcap back at my loaf.
It shows you how dumb I am, and I'm like,
it's pretty good.
And he's like, I don't know what he is good.
He's like, fuck off.
It's 100% how he held handle that he was.
Is there so many?
Can we get a hot honey from her side of the table
You guys always you guys always put so much oregano with it. Huh?
What why do you have been that guys?
My friends only that oregano is really good on anything. It doesn't dominate anything
One time I went to a party when I was like 26 I went with this like 35-year-old lady who brought me to a party and every time I talk they'd be like,
okay.
Well, I was like, I'm actually from Denver.
Like, that was the same energy that this guy had.
Sure.
Okay, fucking idiot.
I did you know a 35 year old lady?
Drinking?
That's a lady.
Drinking hard.
Oh, hanging out with like kicking with adults when you're a teenager
because they're alcoholics. It's gotta be a fucking hilarious thing.
I'm telling you right now, I was women at Arizona, when I went to the University of Arizona,
women did not, girls did not give a shit about me. They're being like, the women did.
The women of Tucson embraced me into their soft bos soft bosoms because your boyish and tall. Yeah, I can drink
I could go for shot for shop and you have that voice. I go guys. Can you be quiet if we fuck with my kids at home?
I go absolutely know I can you want me to
Jackhammer you
Yeah, dude, I for some reason I mean I know when I start working at KfMA all these older women are like, what's your deal?
I was like
Spinn in the scorpion's greatest hits later on the night
I was at KLPX as a KfMA so respect as Beastie boys. No, but don't for two song these KLPX lady
A lady would come suck you off for warrants
You wouldn't come to me. I would go to her and she come out in her Terry cloth robe
Anytime she got blowjob rolling the back of her road. No, no
No, uh, no, dude. Yeah, shut up. Uh, dude, she didn't even try to be sexy. Because sorry, I'm wearing my period panties. You don't mind, right? My just fucking to do it real quick.
Swing through.
I told you, she called the recrossage.
You want me to get the wrinkles out.
That was a code?
That was a code?
She was asked, I do.
We're about to get the lead out with three continuous hours of lead
Zeppelin. No, I'd be like hold on hold on hold on hold on
40 minutes now stop new rock 92.1 and 101.3 KfMA. A.F.I. Gonna be playing fallball
Make sure to go find out listen to the Frank show in the morning to find out you can get tickets Kfma.com
Find out you can get tickets gave me that calm
Pick up my all right top I'm done on like an hour. I can pick you up and we'll go to the auto zone
Did you guys ever fucker? Did she exclusively blow you?
Really? Fuck your crazy
You never went down on her no happen like toll happen like three times three times
No, no, happen like toll, happen like three times three times. Have a three times. That's serial dude. This lady was
Cute
She ruled god bless our hopes is okay. She said her mom. She said
Which is a kid a ghost trafter in a closet. Yeah, for sure That was a stepfather, fucking her mom. I don't know, dude, but whatever it was,
he was in the dark.
There was a feeling of like, yeah, lady.
I am, I'd have to be so horned up.
I'm talking about like a woman.
Oh, if you blow someone's comfortably wearing a robe.
It was, then you're like, yeah, you're fucking,
you're a rape baby or something.
I don't know what it was, dude,
but it was a dark moment in my life and she was a bright moment. She's a bright spot
That kind of energy your second sunshine out of your fucking
Smoked yeah, yeah, yeah, the wrinkles on her smoke a joint on the I mean it's smoke a cigarette on the way back
She a little bit of a jowls
Yeah, big girl
Very big girl, but you know,
we're talking to two two two five.
No, two even two even.
How tall is she?
I don't know.
Seven and a half feet.
What's our sit down?
Yeah.
Because I don't know.
I'm saying she wore a medium robe.
I can't tell you what she wore.
She wore a darker robe.
Scallywag then.
I was two fucking twenty.
Yeah, you were. That's twenty one twenty two. We all made was to fucking twenty. Yeah, you were that's twenty one twenty
We all made mistakes. I love I don't think it's a mistake. I don't think it's a mistake
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I was a mistake who I was shaped to I wanted to fuck you. She could get her own fucking Tesla
CDs was a mistake what you did earlier was a mistake. I just remember one time we were driving back
And she's like see what you're ripping off his clothes to throw it out
Water at a carpet at work mistake is a mistake
You got it could have gotten electrocuted fuck you
Electrific you didn't know I'm gonna
Electrified
No, we were electrified by your behavior and action. I'll tell you Jake. I was by your body
Frozen by your gun. I'm elective. I was fucking damn you didn didn't finish your story. I know. Okay. Let's take a break.
It finished. Jacob's gonna,
Jacob's gonna tell 75 people in the next week
about how excited that just was for him
to watch Lou Peel Down.
I don't know what was happening.
I thought he was overheating.
Look, why?
Didn't you think it happened to be something?
Get off me.
Get this.
Get off me.
I'm burning. I'm burning up! I'm burning up!
I'm burning up!
He's asking to...
You guys are at high?
I'm famished!
I don't think anyone said a word.
We just watched the spectacle.
The four of us, like, what's happening?
No one said what do you want to watch?
Spectators watching somebody do good.
The best part is how under control it was at the time this
Dan had the pad all I had made was several P jokes
We were talking about the water hidden the floor and they were taking it very lightly
This was not a big major issue a lot of water guy. I know with a late reaction
Your heart your heart was in the right place. It was the best plot
And your nipples are in a fucking even better place if I may say so
Yeah, they were very they were a symmetric
Damn those guns
You do have good you know, it's always better to have little nipples than big old dumb nips on a guy particularly
I had a friend you're just a friend growing up either friend growing up who was like he was in pretty good shape and he had these
Little party hat nips
It's a nightmare. That's big ones you're saying we call him pepperoni nips. Yeah, we know about that
I'm not a pepperoni nips seems like big ariose these were not just big ariose. They were little
Cones like the peg at the peg part. Oh God. Yeah, like like fucking
Yeah, like a like a racer
fucking yeah like a like a racer
No, no, no, there's a line in a rap song. He says forget it that your nipples look like a cable it's and that's what I always think I was nipples that like stick out like a bullet to love song. I have no problem with that on a girl on a guy
I don't know if problem was on the a nipple on a girl really
But like worth that no nipples. I do have nipple preferences on a man
but like- Where if I have no nipples?
I do have nipple preferences on a man.
I like my man to have-
Well, I have no sexual attraction to them.
I have a preference on nipple for a man.
I get that.
Okay.
If you were like, I'll tell you what,
there's a bad enough nipple on a man
that if you were like, would you trade bodies with this guy?
You know what I mean?
Like, it's got a way better body than me.
There's a nipple like,
no, I'll stay with me.
What if you could do the- What if you could do the tickle hide hmm tickle your ribs and I
Know I'm saying once you can't make right. I want to see and we should bring some up the little party hats
I'm talking about
There's no the hardening would just make them look like fucking little drill bits
I think let's take a break okay come back. We'll look at more the party
We'll look at men. The party hats.
A little party hats. Don't forget to go to bigjcomedy.com. If you're on
Los Angeles, he will be. Both shows are sold out for the Netflix is a Joe
comedy festival, but he is on Doug, Doug loves movies on Sunday. So you can get
tickets to that. And then if you live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, he's going to
be up there at the comic strip, followed
by a little trip to a place called San Antonio.
Oh, you're gonna be going to Twin Peaks.
I am gonna be going to Twin Peaks for sure.
And Phoenix, where you can go to Tilted Kilt.
Can you?
BigJcomedy.com.
Do some research.
Yeah, dude.
Dan Soto is gonna be in Winnipeg at rumors this weekend.
That's the 28th through the 30 of Thursday through Saturday after that.
Philadelphia. What the fuck?
Philadelphia. What the fuck is what happened when those nips tightened up and push the thing?
After that's going to be in Philadelphia,
helium and side splitters in Tampa,
flow ride for tickets and all tour dates.
Of course, go to dansoda.com.
Let's not forget the Moon Tower show is going to be airing tomorrow.
Yes. Very fun. Very fun show. Very very fun show
I hope you guys get to enjoy that at I am Justin Silver for all his social media language of dogs
You can see him limping around town
I've been limping around
This town on the corner is just an adjustment working with me in Albany this summer
We'll be right back everybody. It's the bonfire
Tomorrow night will be airing the Moon Tower live show so fucking check that shit out. It was a blast
Justin Silver joining us for the whole show at you at I am Justin Silver
Say it like that. I am just I am justice look around any Rossum
All right, I'm going to get started by me. Rossum my soul that bum's chicken
We are not really from 29 to 2010
Great fuck their for a year, dude.
She's got heavy tits.
Oh, scroll down.
I mean, Rossim does.
Doesn't she?
Doesn't she have like a big, oddly big titties?
Doesn't look that way.
I don't like that.
They're very nice.
I don't want to say, I wouldn't say overly big, but they're
not overly big, but they're like, they got nice hang on them,
right?
Yeah.
Get out of her house.
Wait, see? They're the ball yeah yeah that's not
her in the it is that one yes that's two
different people dude that's from
shameless yeah it's from the show
shameless saying it's got big titty
buddy look at the size difference
between the one that's what I'm saying
that's what I'm saying that's what I'm
saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying that's what I'm saying. No, no, no, no, no What a weird choice. Oh do Trishel from the real world
Nice. I know it is now. Oh my yeah, all right. Let me see look her up nude Christine. I've been hanging around
Hot girls for a long time look at my stupid musty-ass. She goes I can't come up here. Yeah, yeah
time. We'll get my stupid musty-ass. She goes and I'm confident. Yeah, yeah, gotta be that. So confident.
Oh, no. Yeah.
Well, he did the real world girls nude. Also from the challenge on MTV,
a little respect for the sport. Yeah. Oh, Treshell. Yeah, she was a
slough on the show.
Brought my friend, Tana mom thought it was the funniest thing in the
world to call my mom, Treshell.
Really? That's when real old Vegas came out and he was like, dude, what's
over there? Mom's slotting it up in Vegas. That's a trophy that I get blowjob from women
in the world. I got to get blowjob from old barhags. How's it going? Oh, the math is
shut up. Billions. I'm for sure. She's on billions. I didn't know she did it out
of draw. It's old aster about it. And younger when she was younger too, right? When was
it? Oh, yeah, she was going pump
Great
Yeah, you got good later Christina apple Kelly Bundy when when was that late 90s? Oh, he dated in the late 90s
Oh, you fuck good for him man Mary't know. It's the worst one yet.
Wait, no, I mean, would you just slap your forehead?
Jacob's having a time with this.
I didn't remember the slushed it for really getting to me.
It's bothering you.
Courtney Cox, ob the way.
Do you want to talk about your feelings on me?
I do the Courtney.
Janoffer and Cindy Neon.
He got both friends really?
Yeah, I hope he fucked all the dudes too.
Yeah, Matthew Perry and yeah
Blow off his boner. Yeah David Schwimmer was like weapon the swim in a threesome You're sweating in here. We're gonna get for some
What how far apart were Jennifer and I said in court he cocks?
hours and that was 97
Perfect land man her flight lands at nine my game just rewinds
I don't know if you know out of Durllets dude. Literally he's supposed to represent. He's not only a client
He's the player president. I was gonna
I swear to you I was gonna make a joke about Winona Ryder not Winona Ryder and also Winona Ryder
Sound of a bitch. That's a good one too. And when years were this, hot years, right?
94.
Perfect.
That's Mr. Jones.
Perfect.
Just take them all.
Man, it's just Jones.
Damn me.
Just take them all.
Just take them all.
He's taking the fuck all along here.
Keep going with this list.
What's that?
Oh, I thought.
I think she was so hot.
She was a.
The white from Conair.
Was she? Yes, she wasn't't also I always have her as the
She was gonna remake a last house on the left no way, but she was in
Like a part patch Adams and I thought she was so cute in that movie particularly and it crushed me on her character got killed
Particularly and it crushed me when her character got killed. Oh, wow spoiler alert
If you didn't see patch atoms yet, you're not watching it now. Don't give it away. Come on And you can really enjoy the last house on the left Christine that would tell me that's probably time to look up Monica Potter naked
Why is there a lot of nudity in that movie last? That's left like a rape porn like a rape porn horror
Ray porn her yeah, what a fucking subgen torture porn what do you call a romantic road?
Yeah, it's all fakes
Deep fakes
Never mind forget the whole thing everything sucks. She must have been the not raped person in last house and left
Larra flimboil wow, I gotta tell you
Larra flimboil's got a freckle thing that's gonna make me not feel jealous about that one
No, you're a far merrily least Parker and Lair flimboil you could take take a hike
That's it though that rounds out his list what a list. That's like up there with Derek cheater. That's a pretty great list
Wow damn dude take a beer right?
Would you take that list over? It's whatever what?
I don't listen not whatever so defeated. When she lose tits the craziest fucking thing is that
Davidson could be tall. Oh my god. Be Davidson in the running in his 20s. He can be right on this list
He is his list. Yeah, the Eskimos sisters are strong damn dude. What a tribe yeah
And now that he's so in with Kim Kardashian it was like him supporting his girl out for I wonder if
She's left his management
I'll tell you what I found out yesterday watching that girls come wild documentary you should watch this weekend
Do you think the girl's gonna be bad the girls come wild documentary you should watch this weekend. The girls are the girls gonna wild documentary
The girls gonna wild documentary that I watch yet you should watch this one. What's it on?
I can talk about a TNT
Probably I get in Canada
No, they don't know who wrong Canada so no
You watch this Sunday night though. I guess well, I'm the show's It's pretty uh it's not fun talking about the shits. But it was uh that guy Joe Francis for what a scuzz that dude is he was friends with
everybody including the Kardashians at one point she was wearing a shirt Kim Kardashian
wore a shirt that would say like free Joe with a picture of him. He dated Courtney. He
dated Courtney. Yeah. Yeah. And he's just such a scuzz dude.
And he's like, show your tits.
Is that the whole thing about how he got him to do it?
Well, then they were getting to go way further off camera.
Like and just these girls were like,
and they were mostly underage and it was like pretty crazy.
When they would say that afterwards,
they didn't want to be a part of it.
He would make them more a part of it.
They were like, hey, I don't want to be in this.
Like, I'm going to sue you.
And he's like, yeah, be already signed the thing.
So I don't want to sue you.
He'd make that girl, the cover girl,
to be real in my life.
You've been all this to be out.
If you're a piece of shit, you can buy an island.
Damn, it's a moral history.
He's running from a misdemeanor crime
that he would be in jail, I think, for less than a year.
If he came back to America,
but he just decided to buy a resort and live in Mexico.
So he is, they want extra items.
It's only a minor.
That's where we put the Benagons.
So do for real joke.
For instance, if you're listening, I swear to you, I will put all that aside and open
a Benagons at your resort.
Is he, does he still live there?
Yeah.
Does he have a lot of money?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sure.
You have family money.
No, he protected.
No, he rents out his Mexican resort for 35,000 at night.
And it's like where Kim and Kanye had their honeymoon.
It's where like a lot of people rent out his little
uh,
it's so pretty.
All built off the sweet tits, uh,
co-edged across this country.
He paid, that he paid in a tshirt. Like the one that got the biggest settlement
was like 10 grand.
And it was just like a settlement like,
take 10 grand.
I mean, you're probably not gonna win in court.
You wanna go to court for the next whatever years
and be like, okay.
Watching girls gonna,
you think it's rough watching porn stars age?
Watch girls gonna wild girls age
because they're so of the time.
So they're so nine, did you watch the documentary, Lowe?
Could we do that now?
They're so nineties hot.
So these girls are like hot
They're now just like
40 and just looking way different. It's like they don't even have like that like their eyebrows are totally different
They have like the 90s eyebrow. You also really see how like
White hot was like all the girls are like really skin flat skinny flat asses like they I don't know
It's just like a very particular type of like 90s blonde
partners.
And he would just have him come in
and just like you'd lower him to the back of the bus,
get him black out drunk.
But this is his resort.
Nice.
We got one minute.
No one said the guy doesn't taste.
Show's not long enough.
At I am.
We didn't get to men's nipples.
Now we can't, this shows not long enough.
You've been listening to Sirius X-Hem's man's nipples. Now we can't, this show's not long. you