The Bugle - Barack Obama is coming to Europe!

Episode Date: July 20, 2008

The 37th ever Bugle podcast, from 2008. Written and presented by Andy Zaltzman and John OliverThis is a classic episode from The Bugle, to support us, and to keep the Bugle alive and free of ads, please visit http://thebuglepodcast.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound. We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard, a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven, and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com. If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen. Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader. A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- Audio News Paper for a Visual World. Hello, Bughlers and welcome to issue 37 of the Bughal, making it the world's longest running audio newspaper for a visual world in history. This is for the week beginning Monday 21 July 2008 with me and his ultimate in London

and in New York City, John Oliver. Hello, buglers. I'm back. I'm back in the greatest country in the world. You've changed. I'm Denyverly True. I've felt that way for two years since the start of my first visa and I'll fill that way for at least one more year to the end of this visa. I've filmed Andy this week at still piece in CNN and I filmed Andy this week at Stoepiece in CNN and walking to a large open-planed room containing people that you have mocked For the previous two years was pretty tense We got one of those scenes in the saloon bar when the music stops in the pool pool balls hover over the pocket I was I've expected to be thrown out of a window by a 10 gallon cap wearing Ludobs, you call it cap, and I was hat, isn't it? 10 gallon cap. I'd pay to see someone in a 10 gallon cap.

That's a hell of a look at 10 gallon cap. That is the next thing that Buster Rhymes needs to unleash upon the Sartorial world. He's not actually unleashed that much. He's really just unleashed the plain vest. He's a bad example, because he's got so much ink and by ink I mean taps and the, and by taps I mean tattoos.

I've got a tattoo. Really? What is that of? That's my own face and it's on my own face so you can't even notice it. I'm telling you it's a big mistake you'll get sick of it when you're older. As always, some sections of the vehicle go straight into bin this week. A home safety supplement, including advice on what to do if you fall off your sofa, one stay calm, two, deploy your parachute if your sofa was by the door of an airplane, three spend a minute or two assessing the situation before you make your next move, do not rush into action, and four call your local MP or government representative to ask him or her what they're planning to do about it. Also in the bin, a section on how to care for exotic pets. Including lions, if you have a lion, remember that lions like privacy.

So make sure your lion has its own bedroom. You may miss home, so make sure you set him up with a games console and a zebra hunting game. That should satisfy his blood less temporarily, but if he starts getting stroppy and demanding a kill, take him up to the local park to feed on the docks. Top story this week and Barack Obama! He has been capturing all of the headlines, including some headlines of the McCain campaign, complaining about how many headlines he's been getting.

It seems to be the only way the McCain campaign can get any media traction at the moment. They've accused the media of having a crush on the Obama campaign and the media responded by blushing, looking at their feet and saying, oh no, no way. No, we don't even like him. Why, what have you heard? Did he say anything about us? Because if we did, we definitely don't care. He's such a loser.

It did seem to cross the line at one point this week when there was obsessive speculation on his visiting the gym three times in one day. And the Associated Press said, sometimes it's hard to tell if Barack Obama is running for President of the United States or Mr. Universe. That's not Rep. Tarshi's borderline porn.

The Democratic candidate surveyed the room when approached the podium which thrust proudly up from the floor. His firm chest heaving beneath his cool charcoal suit, a single bead of sweat trickled down the back of his live neck as in a low, insistent voice. He began to talk about the importance of long-term fiscal responsibility. There needs to be a parental guidance system for some of this coverage, because children should not be seeing this. Reports are standing up in the middle of the room saying, I have a question for you, Senator Obama, and my question

is this, damn. Does this suggest that standards at the Mr. Universe competition are falling as well? Because it's quite skinny, isn't it? Yeah, my picture of Mr. Universe and certainly what I want from my Mr. Universe is someone who has clearly been Threatening their own lives with steroids for at least 10 years Did you showed that the ban on steroids has taken all the fun out of Mr Universe we're gonna have to completely change our perceptions of what a universe man should be There's only one way Andy to decide whether this relationship between a bomber and the media is real and that is by calculating How well matched they are.

So last night, I went to the lovecalculator.com, where apparently a man called Dr. Love can analogue compatibility from just the input of the names involved. So I talked in Barack Obama and the media. And Dr. Love came back with these results. Apparently, they're only 57% suited to each other. Here is Dr. Love's back with these results. Apparently, they're only 57% suited to each other. Here is Dr. Love's in-depth analysis, he says, Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between the media and the Barack Obama has a reasonable chance of working out,

but on the other hand, it might not. Dr. Love hedging his bets there. Well, I think what we can draw from that, John, is that Ken and Ethel love, Dr. Love's parents, really regretting spending so much money putting him through six years of medical school. And in the interest of balance, I should also tell you, it turns out John McCain also has exactly 57% compatibility with the media. This could be the closest election yet.

It could once again all come down to Florida, with whom are also incidentally both exactly 72% matched. Obama of course says winning the fundraising contest at the moment he's currently raised something like $860 trillion of funding or something like that and it proves John that you can't win the election if you don't buy the most expensive possible tickets. I mean he's ahead in fundraising but he's actually behind in total money. He raised $52 million the last month, meaning that he and the DNC have 92 million in the back, but that's still not enough to make him the financial front,

rather. John McCain raised 22 million, but he and the Republicans now have 95 million in the bank. That is far too much money. Both of them, and yet that's still not enough money to buy the latest Donald Trump property, which he sold this week to a Russian oligarch in Palm Beach, Florida, for $95.6 million. Trump, the classiest cartoon tycoon in the world, has broken the record for the most expensive home in American history. And imagine living in a house, Andy, that costs more than running for president of the United States. That must be some house. I bet it's even got a garden. Could he

not buy the White House for that? Yeah, but the White House doesn't have a penis-shaped pool. Well, it does, but it's indoor. Yeah, it's modelled on Groza Tleven's Wang. Pr proud of himself? No, but I think what we can draw from that comment is that Mr. and Mrs. Zach and Alison's ultimate are probably wondering why they spend so much money putting their son Andy through expensive education. The Obama campaign has also got a stoppy with the New Yorker magazine for its front cover, which had a cartoon depicting him as a Muslim and his wife as a terrorist in their defense of the New Yorker saying no smoke without fire,

and also that it was just a joke. But of course some fundamentalist Obama supporters, John, believe that he should never be pictorially represented and certainly not in a cartoon and that we need to have more respect. In the interest of editorial balance, well, they should have done another front cover of John and Cindy McCain dressed as Druid sacrificing a child, which is a fact they do that every weekend. How do you think she looks so young? The New York defend themselves were saying they were trying to satirize some of the myths about Obama and sometimes it is hard to differentiate the myths from the reality with this man, John. So, here's an effort to clear up some of the confusion about Obama's background.

Barack Obama was born as one of the twin sons of a vessel virgin and Mars, the God of War, before being suckled and raised by wolves alongside his brother Nigel. He and Nigel later founded the city of Honolulu, before Barack slew Nigel with his own bare hands after he acted like a bit of a dick about who was in charge of the new city. Which would one day rule the entire known world, leaving Barrack as an undisputed ruler and founder of the United States of America. So I hope that clears it up, that is a fact. There are going to be right-wing press groups that are going to be picking up on your rumours about Barrack slew Nigel. That's going to be all over the blogs.

He's just eerily quiet about Nigel, isn't he? You never hear mention Nigel that's going to be all over the blogs. He's just eerily quiet about Nigel isn't he? You never hear mention Nigel Obama. Well how close we get into the Vice Presidential selection? John I'm literally on the edge of my seat. Is that to do with the Vice Presidential? Situation where are you just about to get up? No I've just got a cobra sitting behind me. Well there's been a bit of an infestation in love in the last couple of weeks. All right so it's an infestation it's not just for your posture. No it does help though. It does help. Very difficult choice choosing your vice-president. I guess there are a number of qualities that you're looking for if you ever find yourself trying to pick a vice-president. Ideally, your

vice-president should have no ambitions to actually be president. The last thing you need as leader of the free world is to go on a team bonding weekend and have your deputy goading you to swim across a crocodile infested swamp or to jump a burning motorcycle over a bus full of cows or to eat undercooked chicken. And I think maybe there's a bummer, should maybe look outside the traditional field of politics because then you tend to end up getting a politician to do it. I think there's a number of possible options that he should consider. One Derek Jeter, the opinions blitzings, New York Yankee shortstop.

I guess on the minus side, he might cost a barmer the votes of Metz and Red Sox fans. But on the plus side, he has Mr. October, John. Now, he's Mr. October. And that could prove really useful in the run up to the poll in early November. And he should also use that name, rather than Derek Teter,

you be vice president October. Another alternative is Hugo Chavez, the Bayuela from Venezuela. It might not be popular with many in the US, but he loves the cameras and getting him on side and in the team might be the best way to shut him up. Another option, Janice Joplin, the late 60s sold evil with a nuclear powered vocals, may have died in 1970, but she is a woman, and that's good. And would be something genuinely different in the stuff he corridors of Washington. On the plus side, she could belt out controversial policies

and incredible in distracting volume, but still with feeling and soul. On the minus side, she's dead. Well, she also be the first dead woman vice president in American history. Yep, since Lyndon Johnson. MUSIC President in American history? Yep, since Lyndon Johnson. So we in Europe, John, and I speak on behalf of this entire continent. We are all a flutter with excitement at the prospect of Obama coming to see our humble

little continent. We're really excited by this. Of course, in America, it can be dangerous for a presidential candidate to be associated with Europe. John Kerry lost after being described as looking a bit French, which I think probably tells you everything you need to know about America and the American political system. It's a horrible thing to say about someone that I'm thinking. Yeah, and they didn't mean that he plays spontaneously flamboyant rugby with a hidden edge of violence.

The popularity in Europe is not necessarily a good thing over in America, Andy. It doesn't really translate. In fact, it translates into the opposite of votes in many parts of middle America. They don't like us, Andy. The Europeans. They think we're teedrinking, fey elitist snobs. McCain aides, quiptered. I don't know what the people in Missouri are going to think, seeing tens of thousands of

Europeans screaming for the one. He later called him the foreigner's choice. Is that what got bushy in the second time, Andy? That's the only way it could make sense, perhaps we should have tried the bluff in Europe saying, oh please, yes, more of him. Can it be only be two terms? Are you sure?

We are actually hoping that a bum will be able to join us live on next week's bugle. Although when I spoke to him this morning, he did say it was a bit busy because he's supposed to be promoting himself to the continent as a viable, incredible world leader and might not be able to fit us in. Obama is indeed beginning his European tour and the back of his tour t-shirt will feature dates in Britain, France, Germany, Israel, Jordan, Afghanistan and Iraq, all flanked by two tigers on motorbikes.

His appearance in London though, and he's expected to be fleeting. Unpritish sources said Mr Obama's advanced team had made it plain that he wants to get in and out of the city as expeditiously as possible. Well, hold on, that isn't going to make us feel very good about ourselves, is it? What an unpleasant response from an invitation. Yes, I'd love to come to your party, though I will be attempting to leave it as expeditiously as possible. Other news now, and well, what kind of continent is Obama going to find when he gets here? Well, he's going to find a continent's torn apart by badgers.

Problem is that sounds like a terrorist group. You need to explain the concept of a badger, aren't you? Yeah, well, badger is basically a large vermin, a man-eating vermin. The size of about a horse and a half, they live behind bus shelters and they outnumber humans by 10 to 1 in some parts of Britain. Yeah, I mean, when I said describe a badger, Andy, I was really looking for an accurate description, not to make it even more confusing. Because absolutely nothing you've said there relates to what a badger, and I was really looking for an accurate description, not to make it even more confusing. Because absolutely nothing you've said there relates to what a badger actually is.

They are vermin. Anyway, so they're about to have a size of a kind of middling to small dog. mainland european fact, very angry with us again, barely had their anger subsided from what they thought was us trying to kill them with infected mad cow beef in 96. Then they started thinking we were attempting to slip them to burky looses. After 12 calves delivered to the Netherlands tested positive for the disease recently. And you can see why Europe is so angry. We've been here before. It's like the Trojan horse all over again, except instead of a horse, it's a cow. And instead of being made of wood, it's made of cow. You can see their

point though the similarities are eerie. Of course badges do spread both on tuberculosis to moo cows so I've been spending too much time in my little daughter. But the badger actually poses a greater threat to British national security than the BASC separatist group ETA. But the problem, John, with this badger cult that has been proposed is that the badger is a protected species and has been ever since Queen Victoria accidentally snogged one when Drunk On Her Hen Night. Also, in Europe, a bum will find a continent on the very brink of war following the resignation of the Belgian Prime Minister. This could easily spill out from political bickering within

Belgium into a pan-continental conflict. Let's not rule that out, it happened before. That meant it hasn't, but it could easily happen. He's resigned three months after taking office. And if a country as silly as Belgium can't sort its democracy out, what hope for the rest of us? And particularly, you've got to feel sorry for this, so coming so soon off the trauma of Justin and Anna retiring from tennis. What have I got left? It gets worse, because this is actually his third resignation in the last 12 months. And apparently the options now include asking Mr. Letaume to stay on, calling an early election, or asking somebody else to, and I quote,

have a go. If you're using phrases like have a go, you are in serious trouble. That is what you say to children on a group tour of the zoo when it's feeding time at the Penguin enclosure. That is not how you describe running your country. I can't believe I'm going to say this, Andy, but Belgium needs a brutal dictatorship. The king needs to take over and start riding around on his horse, shooting cannons at people. Get some control.

Yes, the third time this year that Eve let term has resigned, which suggests that he really wants a holiday. The problem is to took up obvious in March, a whole nine months after the general election results came in. And Belgium was criticized for this, but they responded by saying that we're just following the human reproductive system model. The election results had to be given time to just state before nine months later a screaming bundled of nerves was delivered into their arms. And the Belgians could take time to celebrate with a cigar before gradually realizing that they were stuck with this now and have ruined their lives.

I'm guessing you're not planning a family action. Prime Minister Evelyn Tellmay said, it is only the king, a love of beers, and the football team that unites Belgians. To fill us through of England as well without the king part, they're now behaving like a country who are attempting to sell the film rights of their government to Hollywood. Because this is starting to closely resemble

the plot of a bad Rob Schneider movie. He's the crazy Belgian Prime Minister who knows he can't do his job. She's the crazy Belgian lady who thinks he can. Rob Schneider is Prime Minister Iblatelm. Leanne Rhymes is crazy Belgian lady Michelle Woffel coming next spring. Those crazy Belgians rated M for Messi. Bughal happy birthday now and last week was the 90th anniversary of the assassination of the Russian czar and his family in 17th of July 1918. Now John of course the next day the 18th of July 1918 Nelson Mandela was born. Coincidence? No. So is Nelson Mandela,

the real Grand Duchess Anastasia of Russia? Of course, many people have claimed to be Anastasia. Mandela's kept almost eerie silence on the matter. She disappeared on the 17th of July, coincidentally, the same day the rest of her family were gunned down in a non-drive by shooting. And Nelson appeared the next day unable to remember anything about his dramatic history as a despots daughter and the pinned down girl of the Russian Revolution. Nelson then said almost nothing coherent for almost the next two years fueling media speculation that he is in fact the missing princess. And throughout most of the following 90 years, members of the Russian royal family have strenuously denied that Mandela is the Duchess, claiming that he looks

nothing like her and is a man. But Mandela is somehow managed to keep himself in the public whole in ever the less. DNA tests have proved inconclusive, but Mandela was once overheard singing Boney M's Russian Revolutionary Classic, Roll Roll Rasputin, whilst waking for a bacon sandwich in a murder-way service station outside Blumfantine. Russia does seem pretty confused at the moment for most of the last century. Zanikovsky's second was officially revolved as a tyrant. To Russia's Soviet regime, he personified all they tried to destroy in the revolution of 1917. And yet now, a Russian TV program is counting votes, public votes, for the greatest ever

Russian. And the Zar is currently tied for the lead with Stalin. And that is a country which does not know what it is. Lo-john is a country that drinks too much. Peter the great that's a clear choice for you there. The clues in the name. Well Peter the great used to hide dwarves and cakes so no one of them vote for him. That's a reason too vote for him. Emberstein News Now, and in a major development news came out this week that the US would be establishing a diplomatic presence in Iran for the first time in 30 years. And this is quite a turnaround for President Bush who had Iran in his catchy little axis of unpleasantness,

for almost a whole of his time in office. And it isn't a full embassy, it's kind of a halfway house to becoming one. It's a kind of embe. It's a facial name is in fact a US interest center, which sounds like it's a kind of modern museum showing what Americans are interested in. Rose and Rose have glass present presentational cases containing baseballs,

bibles, burgers, guns and hardcore pornographer. A special interest center carries out all the functions of an embassy, apart from the most important one, which is being called an embassy. So it's not actually so much a halfway house as a just fractionally short of a whole way house. Britain, we've had an embassy there since 1997 when the new Labour government so much a half way house as a just fractionally short of a whole way house. Britain, we've had an embassy there since 1997 when the new Labour government instigated a policy of reaching out to rogue states. Oh, Andy.

Rogue states. Do you remember them? They were such innocent days. Before the days of calling a no-terrorist state, you simply went with rogue or even scoundrel. Really? A scoundrel state or just a simple naughty state. Well, I think rogueish would be better than rogue.

Raffish, maybe. Certainly not one you'd want to leave alone with your daughter or your oil interests. This decision has split the Bush administration and some have called it the end of the Cheney era, which I think in future may be a very useful language euphemism for a disastrous period in someone's life. How has worked today, dear? It was a non-stop cheney era. That's how it was. I see my divorce as the end of my cheney era. Can the Chicago Cubs win the World Series and hope they're a hundred year cheney era?

A cheney was unsurprisingly favouring military strikes and the State Department favoured diplomacy. And military strikes are now Chinese-answered to absolutely anything. He locked his keys in his car last week and ordered three F-16 bombers to fire missiles at it. Yes, he completely destroyed the car, but to be fair, he got his keys back. The recent Iranian missile testing

and aggressive rhetoric with Israel had concerned some that Iran was about to become a second Iraq, whereas the US State Department and Europe now was about to become a second Iraq, whereas the US State Department in Europe now prefer it to become a second North Korea. And just that's not the end of the day, Andy, just how badly Iraq has gone. That a country becoming a second North Korea is now potentially a positive move. We really have reset those yardsticks. Because only a couple of minutes ago it seems Bush was prepared to personally ride a

tungsten carbide coated donkey across the border from America into Iran and challenge Armadinad to a bare-bombed headbutt of the death. But now it's all lovely dovey and we've seen this before and I think there's a bit of a trojan horse thing going on here as well. I think it'll turn out so, you know, it appears to be a nice parting gesture on the part of Bush and he'll probably say suddenly he'll offer to give Armadinadjad a nice giant wooden replica of Tom Brady. And then Armadine a Jedi will parade the giant Brady around the streets of Tehran and then all of a sudden at the dead of night

outpops the entire US Army and lays waste of the entire of Iran. Whilst bush stands on the top of Armadine a Jedi's house, grabbing his nuts and saying, how'd you like that, eh? How'd you like it? This diplomacy follows Bush's recent statement that he didn't want to be remembered as a war monger, which is like someone leaving a fancy dress party saying they didn't want to be remembered as a cowboy when they'd come dressed as a cowboy and spent the entire evening on a mechanical bull and had only uttered the two syllables ye and har. Your emails now and this one comes in from Esther English Arkel. Good night, well done. And it's the subject is Jewish Superhero, Sheerite, Dear Andy and John. I was recently listening to episode 35 of The Bugle and were somewhat dismayed to hear Andy described as the first

Jewish superhero. My dismay mounted when Andy then said that Batman was Jewish, Batman has been shown celebrating Christmas, albeit celebrating it somewhat gloomily on several occasions. It's doubtful that he is Jewish, right Sester. However, Andy claimed very close to the truth with his announcement. One of the newest superheroes to hit the comic shops, Batman, is Jewish. Kate Kane is a stunningly beautiful aeros who move from being a stunt cyclist and trapeze artist to kick in the crap out of petty thugs, murderous cultists and the occasional rampaging guerrilla.

In the winter however she sets aside her red high heels and batterangs to light the candles on a menorah and cut latkes for her on again off again girlfriend, René Montoya. I'm not a Jewish, nor a religious scholar, but I do know that children need heroes and who better for all little ones to look up to than a heart-hitting, high-kicking, red-headed lesbian Jew in a basute. That's basically how Jesus started. We have an email here from Christina Hatsimanuel who says, dear the bugle, I've recently introduced a new feature into my mental the bugle. It's called historical shhhhhh is when great people said shhhhhh and here is a sample of quite so far. These are good Andy shhhhhh that's Harriet Tubman shhhhhh

that's Anne Frank and shhhhhh. That was George Washington crossing the Delaware. Perhaps you can see where I'm going with this, right to Christina, I certainly can't. I like that. If anyone else has any historical, historical, historical, historical shushes, please email them into the bugle. Hotties from history now.

And thanks for continuing to send in your nominations to this global phenomenon of lust and history. And this one comes from Brock Denton in France who writes, I bring you today a nominee from the icy cold reaches of Scandinavia. My candidate today embodies the war-starting abilities of Helen of Troy and three times the incandescence of Joan of Arc. HOT! Although to be fair with Joan, her incandescent wasn't natural and was very much aided by big bails of hay. I give you Galveg the Norse giantess who began the war between the two tribes of Norse gods, the Isir and the Venir.

If you think that a woman who is hot enough to start an interdirty battle is not hot enough already, consider that she was burned alive three times in front of Odin only to be reborn. Sources are unclear as to whether this third burning dispatched her, but we do know that Loki then proceeded to eat her heart. She was so unbelievably hot that her delicious heart then managed to get Loki pregnant. And he spawned a tribe of murderous troll women. The woman not only broke down the impossible barrier of getting a man pregnant without using a sex organ, she also broke down the unbreakable glass ceiling of poached mortem impregnation.

What a survivor! What a woman! My only wish is that I had the chance to be impregnated by her sport of psychotic witch trolls. Oh yeah. So hot! So, do keep your nominations for Hotteaks from History, Flooding in, and all your other emails. To theBugle at timesonline.co.uk

Sport now and the NFL are studying athletes touch-down celebrations after rumors that some players are flashing gang signals at the NFL have hired experts to identify the gestures it's like hiring a sign language expert, but one who specialises in urban declarations of war. This has come to light after pull peace with the Boston Celtics was caught and fined for flashing gang signs at the Atlanta Hawkes Bench. Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Dennis Northcott said, guys come from all over the country and who knows what they're really doing. He added that he cannot remember

seeing a gang gesture in nine NFL seasons. He said, people have got signs for their kids, signs for their fraternities. How do you differentiate who's really throwing up gang signs? And that he gave an example, saying, this is a gang sign. He said touching his index finger to his thumb to form a squished okay sign. But at the same time, it's a sign for a personnel group. Well, and that is the fault of the personnel group. They're just asking for trouble. Surely a gang is just a personnel group. Yeah, with very strict border limitations. But the truth is Andy, celebrations have always been

controversial. Winston Churchill's famous photograph, flashing the V sign at the camera, was widely misinterpreted as being V for victory, whereas it actually stood for the Sussex Vultures. A gang that Churchill had been affiliated to since he was 12. He had the tattoo famously of a circling vulture spread across his chest and that sign signaled to the rest of his gang to launch full war against the Hampshire Kestrels. By that evening 13 people were dead on the streets of Hampshire. Yes Churchill was a great

wartime Prime Minister but he had a dark side. But there have been some very controversial celebrations in sports. Ian Boatham, when he won the ashes in 1981, was celebrated by getting on a horse and dragging the body of Australian captain Kim Hughes seven times around the boundary at the Oval. That's how he knackered his back. We're going to have quite the same player again. When footballer Gary Linnaker scored his first goal for Barcelona, John, he put on a medical smock, got out a sick dog from inside

his shorts, and performed an appendectomy on it. It was in tribute to a friend of his who was a vet, who had had a really disappointing meal out the previous week. Just might even feel better at a difficult time. And also when Steve Redgrave won his first Olympic gold in 1984, he actually did a black power salute, but he did it wrong. He just wore black panties underneath his shorts. No one really ever knew about it. But if you look at, close to it, the photos,

you can, he's got a bit of VPL there. You can tell, oh, don't say that. And in other sports, as we record now, there are still currently more riders in the Tour de France who haven't tested positive the drugs than those who have. But that may well have changed by this time next week. We will keep you updated. Actually, I was watching a bit of the Tour de France coverage yesterday, John, and the peloton while I was riding through a French town was pretty much. There was a few cyclists at the front and then they'll kind of More in a group behind them as they headed for the line and it was basically from overhead

It looked like the outline of a giant syringe So the Bugle forecast now and John the forecast this week is Will Barrake Barma like Europe so much that he will just decide to move here and If so which country would he live in. What I think he'd become president of all Europe. Right Andy. But he's think his soaring rhetoric will be popular for about six months before we all turn on him. I'd suggest that he lives in Barcelona because I'm the food there is phenomenal.

Then at all the places I've been, it's got the highest concentration of quality food. And just so that Bugles know, Andy's not being paid to say that by the city of Barcelona. So I think Obama will love Europe. It's better than America, John, as you well know. No, it is, it's good. No, it is, it's gonna stay.

He's gonna stay. He's gonna love it. He's gonna be swept off his feet by the European charm. What really? Well, as someone who's just reminded himself of what that European charm is for a couple of weeks. I would say that I'm not sure he will be swept away by that appalling customer service in general, certainlyness. Well John, maybe that was more to do with you than Europe. Well John maybe that was more to do with you than Europe. Anyway that's all from this week's Beogul, thank you very much for listening, we'll be back next week, unless the world ends in the interim.

Bye, Beoguls, have a phenomenal week. you