The Bugle - Bugle 240 – Political Gooaaalllsss!!

Episode Date: June 28, 2013

Brazilian protesters find the top corner, Andy launches a new competition and The American returns. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This is a podcast from TheBuglePodcast.com. The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world. Hello, BUGLEOOZ! And welcome to issue 240 of the Bugle, the price turnip and the otherwise rotten vegetable box of life for the weeks of getting Monday the 1st of July 2013. That's another half year we won't have to do again. Few half year close to the merciful release of Armageddon. With me and his ultimate live in London's glamorous central London district and joining me by the commercialised witchcraft and his modern technology life from the big apple. It's

the big apple pip, the shea re of showbiz himself. John Oliver. Hello Andy, hello, Buuglers. It's been a frantic week here in the United States, Andy, with the Supreme Court throwing out decisions like it's their job, which it is. They struck down the Voting Rights Act and also the Defense of Marriage Act, simultaneously taking America 50 years backwards and hundreds of years into the present. It's been a crazy week at the Daily Show sending us into our two-week summer break, which is now upon us. We'll also be taking a couple of weeks off the bugle, as I need to lie down and try to navigate the blur of what the **** happened over the last month.

But there was a nice last night Tom Goldstein was the guest. He runs a Scoters blog, which is a fantastic blog about the Supreme Court. He's a lawyer who's argued cases before the Supreme Court numerous times. And there was a great moment when I went to see him in his dressing room before the show and he was with his daughters and they were playing on the floor. They're about six and seven. And he said to them, what's the most important thing that you're going to remember about tonight? And they looked up at him and they said to them, what's the most important thing that you're gonna remember about tonight? And they looked up at him and they said, don't repeat any of the words you hear on the show. That's a well-trained kid,

and he was right to prepare them because little did he or they know at that point that the first act ended on a chicken- a joke. No. There's a context for that joke, but it wouldn't actually make significantly more sense. And how was Maggie Gillinhall, John?

She was very charming, very beautiful, very, you know, she was very nice, Andy. Yep, you didn't tell her about the picture that you had pinned up, but that BBC job. Did I have a picture? I think I might have repressed that and this one could have a conversation. I definitely, I do remember in the past, finding her incredibly attractive. I mean, distractingly attractive. And then I do, I think I remember when she was booked on the show, I think I need to try and behave like a human being. Not like saying, Maggie, you might be the single most beautiful woman on the planet. That's not really a question, that's a statement. Tell me about the movie.

So this is Buegel 240, 240, of course, the number of pence in a pound until 1971. When we had decimalisation before that, we were all 240% better off under the old Pence unless we owned more than a pound in which case it started to balance out. 240 also the number of times Lyndon B. Johnson referred to his Dumbel Bar as little Mr President in cabinet meetings before going off of a toilet break. I've got some big anniversaries this week. Today as we record the 28th of June, 99 years since Archduke Franz Ferdinand had his clogs involuntarily popped, disappointing for the big lad. First of July, John, I'm surprised you're being allowed

weeks off the daily show, one of the most historic anniversaries in American history, 50 years of zip codes. I mean, where would America be as a nation without that? Well, just bumping into each other and it just, you know, postmen just slamming into each other, running mindlessly with envelopes with no destinations. And of course, Independence Day, the fourth of, fourth of July, but not just Independence Day, it's the 210th anniversary of the Louisiana purchase in 1803.

1.5. What a buy. Well, the USA bought 2 million square kilometers of real estate off the French containing not just Louisiana, but loads of other states thrown in free as well. Not all of them still exist, but some do. They include Oklahoma, Arkansas, Arkansas, Arkansas 2, Cana Borrius, Arkansas, Arkansas, New York, Arkansas, Nebraska, Iowa, we'll play it back then Wyoming and Montana. 15 million bucks for all that in today's

money, $230 million dollars. And you have to ask John, was it worth it? Because on today's values, that land is now worth around $231 million. Is that enough? Is that enough of a return? [♪ Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Bzerzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Buzzer, Bzer,zer, Buz thousands of people in Brazil have taken to the streets in protests. At least I think they're protests, Andy. It's a little hard to tell with the Brazilians what the difference is between a protest or a carnival. Especially when with them involved, a protest can so easily turn into a carnival anyway when people suddenly start elaborately celebrating how well their protest is going.

I think there are clearly some warning signs that can help you define between the two. Are people naked? Probably a carnival. Are they naked because they've had their shirts torn off while being dragged along the ground by police? Probably a protest. Are there people dancing?

Probably a carnival. Are there people fighting? Probably a football match. Are there police in right gear? Probably accountable. Are there people fighting? Probably a football match. Are there police in right gear? Probably a protest. Is that right gear actually body paint? Probably accountable. Is there tear gas in the air? Probably a protest. Is there glitter in the air? Probably accountable. Are there water canners being fired?

Shit, that's a grey area. That is a tricky one. It's complicated, Andy. They're complicated people. Even when they're angry they're joyful. Well I do certainly write with a lot more flair than our writers as we saw a couple of summers ago. Very tremendous to watch. And it's hard to know whether it's born technique or whether it's just the way that you brought up to express yourself better. Well also you have to ask, you know, with all that flashiness, John, is there enough end products? And I guess, you know, history will be the judge of that. Well, we'll get to that, but you know, the confederations cup is being played in the

Brazil at the moment all around the country, a tournament which is supposed to be a warm-up for Brazil hosting the World Cup next year and then the Olympics. And Brazil, King loves football and the Brazil loves bikinis Football women with feather wings football beach volleyball football beach football and football Those are in the countries that's right. Those are the countries main areas of interest But these rallies protest riots and violence and nothing to do with the particular games during the Confederations Cup. They were triggered by a 20 cent rise in public transport fairs, and it just goes to show Andy, everyone has their triggers. Now, it turns out that the Brazilian people will put up with a lot. They'll put up with

systemic corruption. They'll put up with poor policing. They'll put up with deforestation and vast wealth gaps, but you do not. I'll repeat, you do not f*** with their bus fare, is that it? You don't do it. Well that's how all revolutions began, just like this one with, yeah, it was 20 Brazilian cents, 10 US cents, about six pence rise in bus fare. I think that's what got Spartacus so cranky when he went rogue in the ancient Roman days, might also have been something to do with having been made to fight to the death of the sake of entertainment and everyone having sex all the time in slightly unrealistic ways.

I don't know, but it depends how much history was in the TV series. Turkey, recent Turkey protests, of course, began with a little tiff about town planning. The American Revolution, so I'm sure American bugles will know kicked off, because of a misunderstanding about whether you should brew tea in a cup or a pot or a harbour. And the Russian Revolution was triggered by Lenin losing beer of the year to Rasputin three years in a row. It was too much. It was too much. Because at that point, when you win it three years in a row, you keep the beard and you

just wouldn't have that. But Brazil, mine a bus fare rise. And that is understandable, I guess. When your bus is basically take about three hours to get anywhere and you have no money anyway. So that's, you know, an extra, maybe four to six hours a day in traffic. That is four to six hours less

that you can spend playing football on the beach with an alarming acreage of butter gone show. I mean, that's, that is gonna get right at the heart of the issue. The public transport issue was clearly just the trigger for Brazilians to express other frustrations that have been building up. There are big concerns in Brazil over healthcare,

security and rising inflation and the government overspending on the World Cup and the Olympics has become the focus of this frustration. And you know that if Brazilians are angry about money being spent on the World Cup, there must be a huge problem. Because they would be happy with the government setting fire to a pile of money if they were told that pile of money was a sacrifice for Pele. I was exacerbated as was the protest in Turkey by the police reacting to the initial

peaceful protests with the restraint and delicacy of a hippopotamus in the Lanzhary shop oh god don't try the bask don't try the bask oh it's not your size that was inevitable the protests have spread across the country and numerous people have died and the Brazilian media claimed the situation is out of control in In the capital, Brazil, campaigners against social inequality placed 594 footballs in front of Parliament to show that, and I quote, the ball is in the court of the Congress to pass the reforms demanded by those on the streets. See, Andy, Brazilians even deliberate complicated economic issues through footballs,

hypothetically and physically. They love football, Andy. I don't know how much clearer they need to make it. But there were, as you say, there was a lot of issues that have bubbled to the surface amongst the rather beef laden placards at these protests, include one saying schools not stadiums, which I mean that would, I mean if they do follow that, that will make it a very different world cup indeed. Massive crowd, a huge excitement now, here comes the teacher. Right, quiet and down please, can anyone tell me the name of the Polish-born astronomer

who formulated a hilly or centric view of the universe? T-t-t-t-t-t. Yes, Javi of Spain. It-the Galileo? Oh, no, no, it's not. Anyone else? Er, yeah. Kirchekoff, Russia.

Er, easy to niggle, that was a good one, of course. Yes, Russia into the quarter-finals. And after the Argentinians went out after completely failing to understand the principles of differential calculus and yesterday's maths off against Mexico. This draw is offening up. Oh, it's been a long week. It's like a glorious one, man's show. You took me there.

These protests have been the biggest that presents. Just say a word, John. I just have to be... I don't need to be a major smurf, just I need smurf. Ha ha ha. There is no major smurf, Andy. That's a fundamental misunderstanding that's smurf all this. Basically communism, it's blue communism.

All smurf's are equal. Some smurf's are more equal than others. Katie Perry smurf's is more equal. I can't talk about this, Andy. She'll give me the trouble. She's a smurf. I don't, about this, I think. She'll give me the trouble. She's a smurf. I think she's the lady smurf and I can't remember a name. Really?

And I should have more knowledge about the smurf movie. Because it says your smurf, buff her smurf. Is that one? I don't. Possibly. They made me make a lot of noises in there. They can use those noises however they want. Yes, you're just abdicating responsibility to your...

They said it won't always only fight with all the... I'd like you running. Those kind of noises are transferable. Anyway, let's... I cannot talk about this, Andy. The point is, the protests have been the biggest that Brazilians see in decades and definitely throw it to focus the questionable logic of spending billions on sports tournaments when millions of your citizens live in borderline 16th century squalor. But they're already showing signs of success these protests. President Dill

Marusef resorted last week to praising the peaceful demonstrations from making democracy stronger. And I wonder how grit at her teeth were when she made that statement, Andy. Did she have an emergency dentist at the side of the podium afterwards to prize her a jaw apart? And the results aren't just verbal. They're also practical in South Paulo and Rio de Janeiro. The proposed transport fair increases have been reversed. The government has also pledged to speed up the broader reforms and Congress voted to use all the royalties from some newly discovered oil fields for education and health so so again and sick they even they even protest like they play football with player technique and impressive results you can't argue with the results and they well I don't know John because when we look back to the last world, Brazil started very strongly in the group stages and then all that's been going well, those early results going from, they couldn't see

it through, could they jump? Couldn't see it through, they tanked it against the Dutch in the quarter final. So I mean, will we see this all over again? I'm just saying Andy, they've already achieved some very impressive goals! Competition time now and we have yet another exclusive bugle competition following on from last weeks. Do you want to know what's like to be a tennis ball competition? I forgot that Andy, but I really, really enjoyed that. Oh good. Good.

Glad to be a service job. Just trying to bring some light into you otherwise I'm remaining gloom stateside. Now it's been a big big story this week about what is going to happen to British banknotes because the Fiverr is undergoing a change in 19th century social reform celeb and humanitarian prison family Elizabeth Frye has been ditched from the Fiverr. Really? Yep. Due to her face being too distracting and aggravating the economic crisis, because a lot of reports people queuing up

in shops to buy stuff thinking, yeah, I'm keeping the economy moving, then looking down at Lizzie Fiver Fry on their bank note and thinking, hang on, those prisons have not been sufficiently reformed. You drop your full pound 99 Ming Vosier about to buy sprints out to the nearest prison and start shouting, reform, Cursor N so friday go and the talk on the streets is that the women's

central place there is none other than Winston Churchill the man and v sign pioneer certainly told Hitler were to stick himself with that also the forefront of developing other hands signals including the shaker sign that's the thumb and little finger out Hang Loose signal, which was adopted by Surfculti, but originally developed by Churchill during his briefed into his home secretary to signal when he wanted someone executed. Also, Pynid, the loser sign, he talked to the hand sign

and he time out to T signal, which I believe launched the Dunkirk rescue. But of course, a big problem is Churchill is not actually a woman, which will leave Britain with a dude only back at the banknote roster. And that's not good. Oh, that's not good. It's not ideal. There's quite a lot of understandable upset about this, but that's not our problem at

the Bugle, because we've reached an exclusive deal with the Treasury, Buckingham Palace and the Royal Mint, who are all big bugle fans, and we're looking ahead to the next change of banknotes, the £10 notes in a few years, and the bugle has been selected to choose whose face should be on the new £10 notes alongside, of course, the Queen herself, the banknote babe, the Qt on the currency, the Marilyn of the Mint, Britain's leading new cosmetic model for the last 61 years. And buglers, this is what this competition is about. It could be you. One lucky bugler will be the new face of the £10 notes, the new mush on the money.

Chris, have we definitely cleared this? I mean, the ink is still drying. Okay. So you will have your face adored in Britain's favorite back nose as it definitely being signed Yes, it's okay, right following in the footsteps of such luminaries as flow night in gal The toastiest of all hotties from history the Nicki Minaj of nursing no less Do you understand what you just said? Do you understand what you just said? Or did you just realise you needed some alliteration?

You needed a singer with a starter with an N and you thought a Nicki Minaj song. Did she do walking back to happiness? Was that Helen Shapiro? I get them confused. Will meet again. Was that no? Was that... That was Stainbury Rillin. She did the... She did the EADF-PF songs. Did you do an album of EADF-PF songs?

No, a simple novel would have done. Simple novel. Also, on the 10 pound note, previously Charles Dickens, the original Chuck D, hip hop pioneer and novelist. Um, is this definitely happening, Chris? Yeah, yeah. Because I think I don't wanna raise people's hope. And of course, currently on the 10 pounds note, Charles Darwin, the original Chuck D, the hip hop pioneer, turtle fancier

and inventor of evolution. If I haven't been to him, we'd all still be dinosaurs, and I do not mean that as a compliment. So, you would be joining in. The current roster, Chris, can you just give the guy at the Bank of England a call just to check this is? Sure. You'll be joining on the current roster of banknote bonds is not only when he church, he'll be four years from the five of it, but also on the 20 pounds is Adam Smith, 18th century economic star

and long alongside him. There's a picture of the illustration of the division of labour and pin manufacturing, which was a key phase in Britain pinning the tail on the economic donkey in the 19th century, I believe. Also the smash hit author of the blockbuster The Wealth of Nations, which he explicitly linked the wealth of a nation with a quality of its motorway service stations. And on the £50 notes, currently you've got your Matty Boltons and your Jimmy Watts, the literally steamy industrial revolution hunks who did so much terrific work with steam engines, really kick-starting industrial manufacturing and making it possible, for example, such things as the George Foreman Grill, the Oreo cookie and the Bugle T-shirt.

So to win this honour, to earn your place in British currency history, all you have to do Bugleers is promise to do something of similar, cultural, scientific and industrial importance and impact of the kind of shit that people like Dickens, Churchill, Watley and Darwin did. So email us and tell us how you would revolutionise art, life, international politics or nurses uniforms. tell us how you would revolutionize art, life, international politics or nurses uniform. So when you're a place, on the new £10 note, it's definitely... Definitely. Because I just read this article in the paper saying it's probably going to be ginostin. So, I mean, it's definitely going to be a bugler.

Right. And they're not just going to be on the f***ing watermark or something, it's actually going to be there. It's fine, it's sorted. Right. Properly on the note. Gu something, it's actually gonna be there. It's fine, it's sorted, right? Properly on the note, guaranteed. Right, you're not, I mean, you're not just gonna get a tenor and stick a fucking passport photo on it.

No, okay. Good, you're really sure of me. Email your entries to infoatthabucalpodcast.com and mark your subject, subject box, my face, your money. Mhmm. Mhmm. Your emails now, we have an email here from Canada saying Andy John and Chris in order of least likely to be hiding from the US government in Moscow. I've been listening a long time and I really don't have anything worth

while to say to you guys but then again I'm sure sometimes you guys start the show feeling the same way. Wow that's a very point that's very difficult to argue with. I'm a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Yes, the cops on horses with funny hats on your grandmother's Canadian souvenir coffee mug. And I was born in Newfoundland. A very funny place. So my grandmother's shoulder blade is a tattoo.

I was born in Newfoundland, a very funny place you must visit. I was driving an unmarked police car, surely an unmarked police horse. I was driving an unmarked police car, ghost car, in Surrey, British Columbia near Vancouver one day, listening to a particularly bullshit-ish episode of The Bugle, when a guy started changing lanes very aggressively while holding an iPhone in his hand, he was so focused on the iPhone that he didn't even seem to care about human life around him. That's what the design does, isn't it? Yeah, just directs.

So I caught up to him with the next traffic light, planning to pull him over and ripping him in new one, using my ticket book, and telling him he was an idiot for driving like that. While sitting at the light beside him, what did I hear from his window? The bugle rooster! How can I stay mad?

I did pull him over and discuss roadside, the awesome f***ing evilogy, as well as his driving. If you read this on the podcast, he knows who he is, and should make a significant contribution to the bugle. As you guys saved him a very big ticket and a pissed off new fee cop yelling at him. Love the show, keep it up, don't he show his no smurf, John,

keep your eyes on the prize. And he says, PS, I'm a mountain, so I'm too polite to say, fuck you Chris, fuck you Christopher, very, thank you. We kept his name out of that for the cycle. We kept his name out of that because. I'm job-wise. But that is fantastic. We kept his name out of that for the sake of his own. It kept his name out of that because...

Well that is fantastic. We're buglers coming together in the best possible way. It's like the football match on Christmas Day in 1914 across the Netherlands. But more so. Thanks again for your emails. We're off for the next couple of weeks. But do keep me coming in and further suggestions for how John should end his run as the Daily Show host in a ball of blaze of

career ruining glory. Don't say ball of fire. That's what you're doing. That's a metaphorical ball of fire. I'm really, I'm, yeah, I'll be unmissable tellers and you can't deny that. It's, it's true. It's true. No one's going to forget that. It's not, it's not going to be like the sopranos ending or cheers You know what you feel or you're gonna know where you stand. So do keep the emails coming into info at the bugle podcast.com Check out our soundcloud based soundcloud.com slash the hyphen Bugle and don't forget to come to my political animal show at the other belly on the 11th of July and the recordings of the greatest test on the third and 17th of July with me and Chris.

And now, over to you, John. Well, I've been looking for a couple of questions. It's been a while, but like any volcano, it must erupt. He has walked into the studio with a hot dog in one hand, a hot dog in the other hand, and a hamburger in his heart. Please welcome from America, the America! Hey, what's up, how are you guys doing, huh? Hey, big build up there, big build up. Well, that's how you like him, and then build up.

Yeah, it's going to be clear, one of my left hands in a town, like a sausage. That's a hot dog, there's a difference. That's good to know to be clear to one of my left hands in a town in Sousage. Not a hot dog. There's a difference. That's good to know. Now, you actually came into the studio bursting through a paper American flag. And there was a... Well, another whole wall wall wall wall.

Tisha can't. Never destroyed American flag. Let's go back. Let's go back. Take two steps back. Either we're gonna edit that out or we're gonna get it right. There's a couple of choices here. So what was it?

So what was it? That was a what I would call a patriotically themed paper display. That's what that was. That was absolutely not an American flag. There were a lot less than 50 stars on it. There was a couple of stars, a little red, white and blue. Well, maybe you know, an uncle sand face, you know, things you can rip through, but you know, you get the spirit. But you never destroyed American flag. And I'm gonna say that, too, while we're on this topic, yeah, July 4th is coming up. It is.

A lot of people think, hey, you know, maybe I'll put my American flag t-shirt on, yeah, do you put that in the laundry? Then don't wear it, okay, because it's disrespect. So you say don't wear it, or don't wash it. Look, if you love the flag, it's a flag, all right, you don't turn it in on the wear. You don't need your dirty balls rubbing against red and white and blue, you know what I mean? You don't need old saggy rubbing against old glory I mean that makes some guy got that kind of that makes sense that makes sense that makes sense now Would now where do you stand on an American theme to let the jackets? Well, you know, it depends is it American cow hide?

You know, I mean look if it American cow hide? You know what I mean? If you, look, if it's made out of kangaroo leather, don't wear it. You know, you gotta know where it's made. If it's made by China, burn it. That's that, by the way, if a flag is made in China and you burn it, that's not disrespecting the flag. That is absolutely, that is awful advice.

It is respecting Chinese crap. What they make in that country is garbage. It's some kind of an Asian effusion. I don't know what it is. It's not anything of quality. It's garbage. They work their workers till they die. They're not right, they don't respect them.

There's no unions. Okay. Low wages. Don't even get me started. I didn't get you. I didn't get you started. I literally, I made one comment about how you walked into the studio and now we're here. That's how life works.

Okay. It's a big series of questions. Well, it's, it's, that is unexpectedly profound American. Now, we have a lot of questions for you. For all of us. I heard the ratings have been down. You know, you guys need a little boost. I get it. First, first, first, Simon, Simon County has treated the question,

where the f*** have you been and why? It's a good question. So I'm first of all, I appreciate the way it's worded. It's straight forward. There's a you're not being around a bush there. You're literally asking me where the f*** have I been. Yeah. And the answer is this, I've been trying to do some special. I've actually been attempting or I was attempting To be the first man to circumnavigate the globe on a jet ski Yeah, hold on how to me obviously that is not possible. Well, that's what they said

But that's because that's what the designers of jet ski said. Oh, that's what everybody said the scientific community Yeah, even a religious community chanada religious my priest was like you should not do this But I you know, I didn't listen and I was gone now You know what they taught out to Amelia. Hey, how to look how great she ended up, you know Yeah, and they told that to a guy you know Lindy what's his name Lindy the guy who's baby? They took it. Yeah, they told it to him the point is this yeah, I I almost did it. Did you yeah? Really how far did he get? Yeah, I got a Yeah. I got off the long island sound out of the Atlantic. And what happened was this, I ran out of gas. But I knew that I had to pack a little bit of extra gas.

And then I had it. That sounds very dangerous. Well, no, hold on a minute. Now, what I did was I put a sail on my jet ski. So look, it got a little bit, the truth that matters, I didn't make it that far, but there was some, the initial design flaws with my team on the jetsky. We're trying to make, kind of a long range jetsky. We're working on it right now.

The boys down at the shop are working on it. Okay, well that's good to know. Andy, have you got any questions from Bueger? Well, this one actually, this one came in from Otto, who says, dear American, you and Edward Snowden on your jet skis, how long would you be able to outrun the authorities? Well, first of all, if I was next to Snowden on my jet ski, I'd turn around and handcuff him.

Because he's a criminal. Really? So that's interesting. We've had a lot of other questions from Beagle is saying, no, is he an American hero or is he an American villain? Oh, it's a very simple answer. I don't even know why it's still up for grabs here.

He was initially an American hero because he ran it out the Obama nanny state for spine on us. And I said, this guy deserves a medal. Don't know of a sudden he's got to open his big mouth about how a spine on other countries. Yeah. Of course, we're spine on other countries. You know what I mean? I mean, what do you got to tell everybody now and make it awkward for us? big mouth about how we're spying on other countries. Yeah, of course we're spying on other countries. You know what I mean? I mean, what do you got to tell everybody now and make it awkward for us?

So then he became, we went right there from here, Ro, that Benedict Arnold. Right. All right. Wow. Okay. He's a Benedict Arnold. You feel that strongly about it. Yeah. Yeah. He was a traded Benedict. So you that's that is good that is correct So so are you are you you okay then with with the US governments? Spying through your your emails and no, of course not, but I'm okay with them spying through your emails You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I want to know what's going on over in England I want to what's going on in Russia. I don't ever trust the Russians this whole BS Alaska Beers with friends. We've never been friends with the Russians Yeah, this Poutine character. I don't trust them one bit. Any man who doesn't wear a shirt on a horse, I don't trust.

Not one shirt fine, but not on a live animal. Okay. Any live animal. Yeah, any live animal, you're around the animal, you put a shirt on. It's not a wrist pack. Yeah. Out of, I just had a laws of nature.

You don't want bad skin touching a pig or something. Well, on the subject of geography, we have Mr. Graham P.S. says, can you point to Syria on a map of the world? In fact, can you identify any country apart from those in North America? I mean, look, there's a whole country's over there. Very punk. With, you know, like around that, Israel over there. It's, yeah, what's the difference, Syria?

Yeah, well, it wasn't a big Syria in Israel. Well, no, no, historically, I know where Israel is, but then there's a whole group that surrounds it, you know, like Iran, Syria, you know, Liberia, you know, hysteria, I don't know what he's, it doesn't make a difference. All I know is they're all bad, they're all bad. They're all bad.

It's Israel good, it's good, and then bad. It's not that complicated. There's a little bit of strip of good in a big sea of bad With that is what I need to know with borders which which way I don't know that is actually a pretty good way to articulate American foreign policy You know like what that's the thing we always over complicate things Yeah, there's a red ring around a blue ring, you know, I mean this good and this bad black You know black white yin and yang. This, this question came in from Johnny Ingram, you know,

right? Do you think John's hosting of the Daily Show is destroying everything that makes America great? We had a number of questions, basically, on the same lines, so just not a lot of people would, would definitely, definitely answer that. Yes, well, what's your view on it, American? Well, look, I'll be quite honest with you,

I'm more of a bent Glen Beck guy than a John Stuart guy Yeah, I mean, I just think if you're gonna get you know somebody who gets it you want the truth Yeah, you want you want that you want that you want someone who's not afraid to give you the truth exactly Yeah, okay, you know, so look you know to me John One guy John one other guy John hosting the show. I don't know It's just another thing that you're not John hosting a show. I don't know. It's just another thing that you're not gonna watch.

Yeah, I mean, there's only so much room on my TV when Doug Dynastie's got a lot of rewrites going on right now. Doug Dynastie, I mean, he makes a... Certainly, Andy, in terms of like the US TV ratings, that is definitely that checks out. Well, that's because it's a good show. Doug Dynastie is... He did.

Viewers might not know. It's about a group of men who make duck calls so go and shoot, shoot ducks. Yeah, but in other words, you think it's popular on an inexplicable scale. It's not inexplicable. I mean, they're people who work hard. It's a family business.

It's not some big, yeah, it's not some big, you know, Monsanto or whatever you call it over there. These guys, they sit around, they're father and son, they are beards, like gentlemen big you know mon santa whatever you call it over there. Yeah, these guys they sit around the father and son They are beads like gentlemen, you know what I mean? Yeah, they sit there. They call duck whistles out of wood. They do you know Jesus was a carp and you know Yeah, yeah, I don't know. It's about real people, you know what I mean? It's about real things Okay, so yeah duck done. I see yeah, I'm glad it's a reality show I did she start by the way. I think they should start making reality movies. You know movies that aren't you know movies that are like about real things

You know reality movies. Yeah That's the love guru was basically kind of pollinating or nothing. Let's not let's not let's not By the way, love that movie love that movie Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and asks what kind of political system do you have when a woman talking nonstop for 11 hours as seen as a hero? What's the status? If you don't know that's a senator Wendy, her state senator is Wendy Davies in Texas. She she filibustered an abortion bill down in the Texas Senate this week Eventually successfully, but she spoke on the feet for 11 hours. That's the background to that. What do you what do you think of it? I don't know. You know what I call a woman speaking for 11 hours? Marriage!

Right guys! Huh? How come you won't give me a high five of you? I don't understand. I don't know. That's a good joke. I just can't. That's a good joke.

I have five of that. It's awful. That's awful. That's awful. I'll tell you one thing I will say about Texas. Good for them. If you're gonna make someone filibuster or at least make them do it.

Well that's a fair point stand up and do it This nonsense and Washington a I'm filibuster and yeah, hey, hey gray hair old man Why don't you stand up see how your prostate could stand if you're in 13 hours? Mr. Flowmax see what you could do that's maybe make the system work a little bit if you couldn't you say I'm filibuster But you actually have to fill a buster, you know what he's a This the terrifying thing is Andy, he's actually right there. That is objectively right. That is how crazy things have got.

He is right about that. Yeah, I'm right about most things. You guys just shout out that one thing. Being scared of the truth doesn't make me now right. That makes you fearful. Okay, I was not a question on Philip Busseren from Love Rhino or leverignio, I'm not sure. Possibly on foot. It's probably love ring yay. Who are creative names out there right now?

The, if the, about this blue, how about this blue, right? Blue. Of a sudden, that's a name north west. That's true. That's what we're talking about. That's kind of a north west. Like, because I'm north west, is that like we're going north. Where, where, where, come on?

What are we doing? If the American were to filibuster a bill, what bill would be worthy and what tricks would he employ? Well, you know, somebody asked, it is on the Twitters yesterday. It's a good, you know, I was trying to think of like a movie I'd liked and then I, and then like, you know, a lot of times when most of the time they'll make a movie

and it's a novel, you know, it's a good way to read a book if you know, if you, if you, yeah. And there was a novelization of one of my favorite movies that came out when I was younger, called, with Corey Hayme, a core film called License to Drive. And this is an interesting movie. Deepcom. Yeah, it's an interesting movie because, you know, not everyone's, you know, able to get a driver's license.

And I think this movie really, it's worth watching. I put it on your cue. Put it on your cue under Love Guru. But I would probably read a book. I would probably read a book. And then, but Bill, I don't know anything that my guess is, you know, anything Obama proposed. I guess it's really, it's a matter which one it is.

President Obama. Let's go on President Obama. Well, he know, anything Obama proposed, I guess. It's really, it's a matter which one it is. President Obama. Let's, let's, let's. You call him President Obama. Well, he's no, he's President Obama. President Obama, President Obama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you don't mean anything. Again, again, when the birth certificate comes in,

Oh, come on. Has that not been settled? Have we not settled that? I know we've stopped talking. There's a difference between getting distracted and the truth. Well, you know, well, you had an awakening out there. Well, American, we got eights and eights.

Look, a man finds out about himself when he's stuck on a jet ski 30 miles off the Long Island. Yeah, you're a great person. For over four or five hours in the hard sun, you start to think. You start to think, American, I cannot thank you enough for being here. I think you might have good coherent points in the middle of all of that. I think it might have been accidental. You know, you guys like to,

like, do those little jabs to me, you know what I mean? You like to undercut sometimes. And I don't mind. I get it. There's a little rivalry here, you know what I mean? I get it. You know where it best.

You used to be the best. I understand. But I will say this. It's always a pleasure to see you guys. And this and this close to July 4th, I think it's important to really be friendly and sweet if you see a British person because it's a very tough holiday for them. Don't forget. Don't forget. You know what I mean? It's like it's like it's like a it's like celebrating day around a German. You know what I mean? You's like it's like a you know, it's like celebrating D day around a German You know what I mean? You just want to be let's not you want to be friendly You want to be friendly, but at the same time remind them remind them they were wrong All right, so how do you go wrong? Means how are you gonna be celebrating it this year?

Way ahead do ever you blowing stuff up. Yeah, what I mean, you know, I tell you this here I think what we're gonna do is, I have a lot of my friends I sent out a man's email, which people love by the way, group and this BCC nonsense, unnecessary. That's the way how you get people to get in touch. Anyway, I told them all, I said, go around your house, look on an ether

if it says made in China, put it in a box. Oh no. We're gonna put a barge out on the sound and we're gonna we're gonna blow it up Not even fireworks. We're gonna stuff it with fireworks, but mainly with Chinese items and just sink it and blow it up I'm a hundred percent sure that is against the law and the API are gonna come down on you hard. Oh, yeah the EPA Oh, okay, nanny's nanny's nanny's they don't run it after me. Yeah, the environment. Let me tell you about the environment You know who's ruining it? The Chinese. By sinking their stuff, we're saving the environment

on the long, long time. Look it out of smug, over the country. Okay, okay. Well, happy July the fourth, it does hurt to say that little. Yeah, USA, USA, USA. Okay, okay, okay, okay, there it is. And yeah, we'll look forward to hearing from you next time. Yeah, hey, you guys got my number, right?

Yeah. You know, feel free to dial it, you know. Okay. Feel free to dial it. We will. Look, I'll lower my rate if that's the issue. Ha, ha, ha. The American ladies in gentlemen.

Yeah, nice to be. BELL RINGS BELL RINGS So that's it for this week. I think we promised you a British Lions rugby update, but we've run out of time because of our special guest this week. So we have to leave the studio. So we will have the exclusive result of the British Lions test series in the next full bugle in three weeks time. So otherwise you you're just not gonna know unless you're actually at the ground. We are the exclusive rights holders to that series. We will probably put out some half-ast bullshit sub-bugles

to us wage your grief and storm your tears of devastation due to the lack of a full bugle over the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, again, check out the SoundCloud page, shanklod.com slash the bugle, and the buglepodcast.com where you also find links to the greatest test cricket show. And a couple of weeks off, you won't be able to see John on my daily show for the next two weeks.

So it's going to be a tough, tough fortnight for everyone, John, to win the world. It's going to seem an empty place. Until we will talk at you next week of the week after. We'll be back with Beagle 2-4-1 in three weeks' time until the Elm Dugal is goodbye. Bye! you