The Bugle - Bugle 251 – Nailing the truth to the floor

Episode Date: November 15, 2013

A man in Russia has nailed his testicles to Russia, the British conservative party has hidden the internet, and The Bugle raids BBC Radio 1. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello, Bee Euglews, and welcome to issue 251 of the Bugle audio newspaper for a visual world, the week-beening Monday, the 18th of November 2013. We are now fully into our 7th year of certified satirico in phantomism with me and his ultimate knee renowned, um, biped, that's the battle I've got left. Still here in London 2012, never forget, and in New York City, tracky-automizing truth from the esophagus of events, with his well-sharp and scalpel of scourlessness, shocking the lies from the barely beating heart of politics, with his defibrillator of destiny. It's the satirical surgeon himself. John Oliver. Hello Andy, hello, Bughlers. Well, this has been a very weird week for

me, Andy, a little bit of background for Bughlers. My wife has been in the Philippines all week. As part of an emergency response unit since Sunday, she flew out. I like notice with an amazing group called Team Rubicon, and she's been doing triage out there ever since, operating under some truly horrific conditions, and in a monumental clash of what should be celebrated, rather than what is celebrated, on Monday, I myself was due to attend a dinner for GQ's men of the year issue, which apparently has

something in it about me hosting the daily show over the summer, so let's just pause to drink in that particular juxtaposition and the one person on the other side of the world Selflessly helping strangers and another person, you know, the GQ dinner thing and I couldn't go And I just couldn't go without feeling like a platinum asshole. So I Asked them if it would be okay not to come and they were both very understanding and also I think just to finally surprise that I've been invited in the first place.

I just didn't think it was gonna be physically possible to sit there making small talk about how tricky my job in the summer was, why my wife was away assisting in roadside amputations. So if bugles would like to help out, Team Rubicon is a truly incredible organisation. They're a veterans group, we specialize in disaster response, they drop everything in their lives, and they go to help wherever they're needed.

And in the seeming vacuum of a response from the Philippine government, they are doing amazing work. So, if you do get a moment today, maybe check out their website, or at least keep you in your thoughts, because they are objectively better people than most of us. So the website is teamrubiconusa.org and yeah, they're an amazing group and I'm very proud of all of them. So check it out. And ironically, John the platinum arsehole is in fact the trophy for GQ's Man of the Year, I believe. Okay.

Oh, God, I can't tell you how much I needed that last for this for the family. The FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN F and it's very hard to transition off something that is objectively important to something significantly less so. But I don't know if you've heard, I'm gonna be doing a weekly show on Sunday nights on HBO, starting sometime next year, which means I'm gonna be leaving the daily show at the end of this year, but the bugle will still pop. It will still toot.

It will not be signed as the bugle will be going on. So yeah, sorry for that information dump, but yeah, it's been a tricky week. Yes, well, I've also had some some big career news, John. I've bought a new paper recycling bin for my shed this week. Oh, that's great, Andy. That's great. We've all had things, you know, just nudging us up

to the next level. We've all had a lot to cope with. So that's the bugle for the beginning Monday, the 18th of November, which means it is 706 years to the day. Since, in 1307, the Swiss folk hero William Tell shot an apple off his kids head with a crossbow, those 14th century parenting manuals, that's a pretty weird shit in them. It's your child struggling to sleep at night. Then try putting them in a near death situation with a piece of fruit. It's your child still persistently wetting their bed.

Then strap them to the underside of a horse and ride it up break next speed into a swamp. Sunday the 17th will also be 40 years since Richard Nixon claimed I am not a crook. He later clarified this to say no, I said cook. I'm not a cook. I cannot even scramble an egg, ask the Mrs. and I wouldn't know a rat or two if it came when she had on my head.

251. Also, Google 251, it's the number of times Neil Armstrong had to refilm the moment when he first stepped on the moon because he kept rifting his first line. Outtakes included, thank f***, I've got my spook suit on or I would be dead as a nut up here. Can I just say hello to everyone who knows me? If you're watching Janet, can you put gets some more petrol for the lawnmower if you have time? Holy shit, I've just seen JFK over there, just kidding folks, he is genuinely dead. And yay, first, suck it buzz, suck

it big time. And of course, one of nearly was broadcast, what he said, f***, there's nothing here, that there's literally nothing here all that fucking training and this is it just fucking rocks and shit this as always a section of Google is going straight in the bin this week the latest bugle audio part work series build your own personal anthem our countries all have their own catch a little national anthem, their little theme tunes to pet them up and boost their confidence. So why shouldn't you follow suit? Your bugle builds your own personal anthem kits will enable you to gradually construct a

simplistically worded and musically unadventurous, self-aggrandizing micro-hillment to make you feel better about yourself and gloss over all the things you've failed within your life. Part 1. The Opening Drum Roll yourself and gloss over all the things you've failed within your life. Part 1. The Opening Drum Roll. Next week, the first line of your anthem, probably something about how pretty your garden is. Top Story this week, clearly the aftermath of the typhoon in the Philippines, but I'm too emotionally strong out to talk about that in the moment. So top-story this week, Russian testicle update.

Best of this place, isn't it Andy? Best of this place when you're struggling to cope. Here's the story that I needed Andy this week. A performance artist has been detained in Moscow after stripping naked and nailing his scrotum to the cobblestones of red square in a protest. Oh, that's better. That's better. Yeah, that's I mean the world seems rising up. If his aim was to get people's attention and the then I can only presume that that worked. Mission accomplished. I mean balls nailed, sure, but mission accomplished. The report stated that Piotr Pavlensky, 29 years old, reportedly sat for an hour and a half on the square,

on Sunday afternoon with a nail, driven through his genitals into the ground. And I think saying that he sat was probably unnecessary in that report, I don't think anyone might have imagined that he was standing up unless he used the longest of nails or indeed possessed the longest of balls. Uh, he has, he can still do this. He had faced the custodial centres of 15 days but was freed on Monday, which I think I mean that probably makes sense. I'm sure his lawyers could have made a pretty good case

for him having suffered enough. He is an artist, I'll say, and he called this fixation, this physical installation piece, installing himself into the ground, and said that it was a metaphor for apathy in Russia. Fixation is definitely an enigmatic title, and he personally ought to have called it simply man vs. balls. And I would say that he might have intended it to be a metaphor for apathy, but that is probably the single least apathetic thing that's ever happened in human history. If you're nailing your own balls to the ground,

I think you're entitled to claim you are active in politics. Well, just goes to show you on how hard it is to find the perfect metaphor. And you have the creative mind search for the most apacit metaphor. For you have the creative mind search for the most opposite metaphor. For me, as a hunt for a leopard painted green and a supermarket coated with guacamole,

and I think that just proves the point. But when working out how to express the problem of political apathy in a nation which is essentially sleeping, sleep walking its way back to totalitarianism, if I was an artist, I'm just not sure that I would have the same thought processes as this man had. I'm not sure I would think to myself right, there's only one thing to this. I'm going to have to nail my bollocks to something. The only problem

is what? A voting booth, a scale model of the Russian Parliament, a Vodudolov Vladimir Putin. Oh no, I'll nail my bollocks to Red Square. Oh, watch the low wear. I hate choosing clothes. Best just go with nothing. And even if I did come to that conclusion, John, that that was the best way to express my artistic and political points.

I think I'd probably think there must be a plan, Keith. There must be an almost as good way of doing this that does not involve whacking a nail through my scrotum. He timed his act apparently deliberately to coincide with police day. And he said in a statement, when the authorities turn the country into one big prison, openly robbing the populace and channeling funds to increase and enrich the police and other security agencies, society accepts arbitrariness. And having forgotten its advantage in numbers brings the triumph of the police state closer through its inaction. Going on to say,

Ow, my balls. Ow, my balls really hurt. Does anyone have any ice for my balls? What the police are doing is wrong and flat a bit bald. it hurts slightly more than I know this seems crazy, it hurts more than I thought it would, it seems insane. But once the adrenaline wears off, the pain kicks in. Oh, I regret nothing. I regret nothing. There's all good points that he made in that speech, John, as he communed with his own personal testicular Jesus. But I just still don't see, you know, they're all artistically and all satirically and politically valid points, but I still don't see how he could say all that.

And then tag on the words, and therefore I've nailed my scrotum to a place of historical interest. I just don't see how it follows. And you've got to feel sorry for his mother, you know, is that, you know, it's always difficult, I guess, if you're a parent, if your child decides to become an artist, it's very precarious, profession, you obviously worry about them and won't wonder whether they'll be able

to make a go of it. And I guess when his mother, you know, when he said, do you want to come and see my latest work, Mom, and she turned up to find him with his nut sack, nailed to a gobble stone. She must have said to him, can't you just do nice paintings like that Claude Monet chap? He did such lovely flowers.

But I'm not saying John, it wasn't a valid way of making the point about political actually. I'm just saying there were other options that, and also, he had to explain it, and I think this is a problem when an artist has to explain his work. To me, the artist should produce the work and then allow others to interpret it. But I'm not sure this would necessarily have worked with this particular piece of installation art. Because I'm going to, how do you interpret a man, no, he's not sacked, to a couple of in red square. I guess it could be a protest against the gender-based tyranny of DIY, but the artist feels emotionally emasculated

by the social expectation that he has the capability to use a hammer and nails to put a shelf up. So he physically emasculates his own emmasates by nailing them to the ground, where no shelves can be put up very much a physical poem of 21st century sexual identity and societal angst. Alternatively, it could be a rebellion against religion, where Michelangelo painted naked people's testicles on the ceiling of a chapel and an artistic hymn to the wonders of Almighty God. This man, Mr. Pavlenzki, in a world so broken as to render the existence of a benevolent God inconceivable,

nails his untistacles to the ground, which is of course the opposite of a ceiling, and not in a chapel. Perhaps, looking at where he did it was a call for Russia to modernize. You know, he's using old-fashioned equipment, a hammer, an enamel, the hammer, of course, redolent of communism, the nail, a bit like a sickle in some ways. And the cobblestone, very much an old road surface, you're saying,

Russia, you must modernise, or you will end up like me, with your economic testicles nailed to some old-fashioned road. Perhaps even, it's a savage attack on the irresponsibility of the anti-environment lobby. We are inescapably tied to this life-giving planet, says Plavolensky, which he expresses by inexplicably nailing his life-giving balls to that planet. Alternatively, it could just be a nutcase nailing a scrotum to some cobblestones. It's very open to interpretation, John, as an artwork. I guess, look, we're talking about it, Andy.

We probably wouldn't be talking about the, you know, creeping institutional abuses of Russia first this week if it wasn't for him nailing his ball into the ground and me being anxious to talk about anything other than what I'm thinking about in the moment. Now, his graphic act outside, would took place outside the Lenin-Morzaliyam and there were clips of it that made their way across the internet.

And Russian arts figures praised him in comments on the internet, one calling it a powerful gesture of absolute despair and another, a manifesto of powerlessness. And another said, that must have hurt. Ooh, I'll get sympathy pangs in my balls. With that probably, ooh, ooh, I hope it was a new nail. Oh, I'm trying, ooh. Ooh.

Ooh. Oh! Ooh! Right, it's just the latest in line of some very curious protests and art, performance art pieces in Russia. The performance art group, Vina, constructed what can only be described as an extremely post-Renaissance performance canvas in which a woman stole a chicken from a supermarket by inserting it up her, well, up her madame haven.

Oh, God. I mean, that is, I guess, a slightly more obvious artistic message than nailing you scrubs into red square. And that message, John, for me, shoving a chicken up where, arguably, it doesn't necessarily need to be shoved. That message is that if you are human being are going to eat eggs, then logically, you should be prepared to shove a chicken up your plinkster.

I think that's what the message from that is. Right, I mean, or maybe with the, yeah. There's a leap there, I think there was. Maybe it's just something to do with not wanting to be charged extra for shopping bags, like some shops do now, using more natural facilities. I don't know. That seems to fit better. All I know, John, is I'll never have this problem with Rembrandt's art.

He saw it, he painted it, he didn't make a big fuss. Of course, around the world, protesting has become very much the new tennis. Everyone dabbles in it now and again, but not everyone makes it to the top or nails their testicles to the court. But there's always an opportunity to profit from the increased global awareness of major geopolitical issues. And onto this bandwagon this week has jumped the celebrity American celebrity chef, Skluton Malvein. He is of course the culinary genius, beloved of the bugle, behind such a multiple Michelin Stard scofferies as London scobbly cook,

the Los Angeles's the urinating Octopid power snout in Berlin, and the Parisian all you can eat shellfish, seducto, brasserie, mouleuvou boufayavec, moassaswa. And the New York City, he's just opened the world's first protestorant, a protest themed restaurant where you can go and stick it to the government whilst enjoying high end cuisine. On arriving at the new protestor on called Laddemonstritory, diners are forcibly kettled into their seats by riot-shield wielding waiters, starters then include an ethical crusade of Crudertais, rioting re-ets of ducked issue, a real grouse, and plack-odds of Icelandic elk-ham vitrioled with squid-ink slogans, and brand-eached on a Soviet-influenced sausage-stick. Main courses then include beefs from around the world, served either overdone or under-reported, force fed opinions of

sheep driveled in an even-gelified source of resentment and a half-baked tomato. Pan-speared spleen of conviction-driven guineafowl served hot-hounder a collar of repressive perstatos, picketed by striking workabines, or the restaurant-signature dish, Octupai, a pastry-fenced occupations of octopus, riot-pleased with carrot-batons and swayed by a propaganda of lefty letters. Then for desserts you can have an awareness of overstated strawberries rallied in a passion fruitedly-chanted promulgation of concerned rhubarb accompanied by banana banners or plum grumble or you can go for the cheese option which is Bredemo.

Bredemo. Oh, come on man. Or you can just have the issue of the day. Meals are served with an accompanying campaign of campaigns blasted into the diners faces from a high pressure water cannon. Whilst a satirical sommelier will talk you through the wine list, that's with an H, of all the days leading if issues made with vintage gripes. Waiters take the customs orders by churning through a megaphone, what do you want? Then when the diner has announced his or her choice of titch, when do you want it? Malvaden claims that he hopes to open branches of the new protest drunken Cairo Bahrain and Damascus by the end of the 21st century. The 33 times Michelin starred food aided every

single successful protest movement in history has been driven by people who ate food. This restaurant will either save or destroy the planet. That's a world exclusive on the bugle. You know, you said before we started recording, you had a lot of bullshit today. Yep. That was it. He's running checks, he can comfortably cash. Step right up for the reduction jamboree! The conservative party in the UK has taken the bold sweeping and slightly creepy decision to delete any speeches and press releases published on this website between 2000 and 2010

General Election in Britain. Now, you might think, can they do that? Both legally and physically. And it turns out the answer is a slightly surprising yes to both of those. The archive has also been hidden from all search engines. In a moment of delicious, if nauseating irony, the deep fried snickers of irony, if you will, one of the speeches removed was delivered by Prime Minister David Cameron, addressing the Google Zite Guys Conference in 2006, in which you made the argument that you've begun the process

of democratizing the world's information, by making more information available to more people, you are giving them more power. That's right, that speech Andy, that speech about the importance of internet transparency has been deleted from the Tory party website and archive. They literally might have created an irony wormhole in doing that, sucking all meaning and logic around it deep into its ridiculous nothing.

Well, I think, you know, he's saying that, you know, they need to make more information available to more people. I guess by removing all these Tory speeches and press releases from the internet, he's just freeing up more time, John, for British people who would otherwise waste their days reading political speeches from the likes of Ian Duncan Smith, the self-styled prep grinder general, rather than getting on with more important things

in their lives. If Albert Einstein had spent all day, John, reading press releases from Oliver the Human human gerk in Letwin, which was his old wrestling name, I think. And would he have discovered physics? I don't believe he would. He'd probably ended up with a tattoo of Lenin on his face, but that's neither here nor there.

We would all be, thanks to this kind of thinking, we would otherwise all be floating through space, wondering what the hell to do, I think. I'm not, I haven't entirely thought that through. The irony involved in deleting things from the internet when you account for transferancy is, it's almost installation art again. Maybe if they're equivalent of the Russian guy nailing his balls into the ground. They've, they've, they've said that they're, their explanation for this is that it this keeps their revamped website and I quote up to date.

That's like Stalin saying he was just trying to keep Russian photos up to date when he started removing Trotsky from them. They're much more timely now because that guy, of course, tragically tripped and fell upwards onto an ice pit. Computer weekly, the group who discovered what had happened, said the effect of the changes were, and again, I quote, as alarming as sending men in black to strip history books from a public library and burn them in the car park. What?

Doesn't make any sense, Andy. That is a fundamental misreading of the men in black franchise. I will not stand idly by as people misreferenced blockbuster science fiction movie. The Man in Black wouldn't need to strip history books and burn them, and they could simply erase everyone's memory with their weird pen-like things. If you were intent on stealing a burning book, you don't need the incredible technology that the Man in Black provide. You don't need the Man in Black at all, you could just as well use a group of common street thugs.

Get your references right! Man, Hollywood has really got into your soldier. That's very dangerous. The problem is what has been deleted, including a bunch of stuff dating back to when Cameron was trying to detoxify the Tory brand after they deliberately spent most of the previous three decades being as toxic as humanly possible. They appeared to have decided, however, that as Aristotle said, a leopard will never change the way that it shits, and that as long as a significant minority enjoy watching leopard shift on other people's picnics, and they might as well stick with it and try and sneak into office by the back door. And also, John, let's give him credit, we all go back on things that we say we'll do as evidence by the fact

that I did not put my son in a rocket and fire him into space when he didn't eat his broccoli the other day. As so often what seems like a sensible thing to say at the time ends up getting caught up in logistical red tape and legal restrictions. You know, let us not be too judgmental. Computer weekly then went on to say, Prime Minister David Cameron and Chancellor George Osborne campaigned on a promise to democratise information held by those in power so people could hold them to account.

But did they, did that, good luck finding any reference of that promise from start? I mean, I know they did make that promise through their mouths, but the proof seems to have been deleted off the face of the fucking earth. And now, we very much find ourselves in a they said, they said situation. And the way in which they were able to do this

is perhaps the creepiest of all, because they used a file, apparently called robots.txt And very mind that I do not understand anything that's about to come out of my face, but using robots.txt Means that website owners can apparently, and I quote, tell computers that automatically scan the internet called crawlers Which parts of their sites to access at the same, as the speeches were removed from the Tory Party site, the Conservatives' robots-txt file was updated to prevent crawlers visiting the pages the speeches have been stored on, and the internet archive, which maintains the world's largest archive of old and defund web pages, deletes its records of any site blocked by robots.txt.

So, I mean, is that clear? No, doesn't even make sense? Of course not. But does it sound slightly unsettling? Yes, absolutely. I can't get the image out of my head of like, tron like robots zooming around inside people's computers, grabbing files and crushing them between their robot hands, the nightly bleep, blopping the whole way. I mean, I just bring back memories, John, of, you know, back in our days at the times, when they decided to change the way that they did their website. And to me, this smacks of the Tories, putting the whole of conservative politics behind a paywall.

And, you know, well, will people be prepared to fork out for their access to the, I mean, a few probably wealthy individuals will be, and maybe that is their target audience. There's an interesting, interesting choice of words there, not everyone would agree that they are necessarily clearing up Labour's economic mess or even taking the right difficult decisions or a tall standing up for hard-working people. So basically what they're doing here is justifying an act of propaganda with another piece of propaganda.

Classic politics, John. Absolutely classic. Stalin was pretty good at helping people quickly and easily access the most important information he provided, usually in the form of a massive picture of himself and possibly a postal death threat. But at least he knew how to get his message across to the voters, John. A Conservative spokesman said, we're making sure our website keeps the Conservative party

the forefront of political campaigning. These challenges allow people to quickly and easily access the most important information we provide, how we are cleaning up our Labour's economic mess, taking the difficult decisions and standing up for hard-working people. Going on to say, read this statement quickly because it's going to get deleted. Oh god, it's happening! Oh, the robots are coming! They're bleep-blopping!

Oh god! And this one came in from Ross. Who writes, Hi folks, I've heard in several places that to become expert at something takes 10,000 hours with a landmark of 250 Bugles. I thought I'd have a look and see how you guys were getting on. Tolling up my complete Bugle collection, a collection that must surely be worth something in its completeness,

just like my school friends all assumed up, a nearly football sticker albums would be. It came to 181.5 hours. Oh no. First of all, well done for filling, well over a week of continuous bugle. I think that's eight days now. If you listen to the whole output, back to back. Yeah, we had to a lot, but not when you're looking up at 10,000 hours before, you000 before you can claim that you're doing it properly. Oh, Ross continues. Well done for filling over a week of continuous bugling. And secondly, well done for being nearly 2% of the way

towards being expert at presenting the bugle. At this rate, the magic 10,000 hour mark will be reached somewhere around bugle 12,500 in about 300 years time. So that's got put it in perspective, you know, 10,000 hours. I always found that I didn't generally need more than about 15 minutes to completely master something, but it's just the kind of guy I am. There's another email here from Theo who says, dear Andy John and Chris,

I spent a few minutes trying to formulate the funny intro to this story, something about the artist listening to one of Andy's pun runs before driven to the act. They're not realized that man nails his own scrotum to red square doesn't need a funny intro. We did it Theo. I mean, I appreciate you sending that along,

but if you didn't, if there wasn't part of you that thought we were already gonna lead with that anyway, then I'll take that as a personal answer. Well, it's good that you know us and our listeners are in, in such intellectual harmony on such issues. Yes, they're just providing a safety net. So just in case maybe your internet was down all week, just want to make sure that you don't look this gift horse in the scrotum. Yes. Well, we did have a lot of people emailing in

about the iron shake calling out Toronto Mayor Rob Ford as well, which unfortunately, because we were off last week, we didn't get to cover, but I think that is a story that we'll, that I don't believe we've covered that adequately on the bugle, the Toronto Mayor's story. I think maybe that'll be next time. This email comes in from, right, stay Chris John and Andy. I'm a producer at the internationally famous BBC Radio I think maybe that'll be next time. The email comes in from WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH So there are a lot of mugs in Radio 1, probably about 200, most of them are plain white with the occasional children in need mug.

But now there is one that stands out from the rest. I brought a bugle f***ing hula g mug and served to see smuggled it in amongst the bland BVC. Oh, that's correct. Oh, that's a standard issue mugs at Radio 1. It's safe to say from your actions so far. That there aren't many bugle listeners at Radio 1. That's even better. It makes even less sense. That's right. I think jutting by how they treated our radio series in the past and the BBC that you probably get fired

if you express any positive emotions towards us. I'm now making my mission to get at least one people mugging to every BBC radio station. The ones with numbers anyway, no one cares about a BBC London. I might miss out five live too because Manchester is quite far away from me. Plus, the people mugged a £6 each, he complains, how much do you think the BBC pays me? Not much is the answer. It gave all the money to Peter Farz and Rich people.

Anyway, I thought he'd let the people in the BBC know your name. They just don't know why they know your name. Yours. Okay. Ever-love-a-glie. W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w. Please don't read out my name. Nobody would be... A radio one. No, so I'd put the mugs there. Ha, ha, ha.

Name redacted. Redacted like a conservative website. Redacted name. That's the way we do things in this country, John. You're welcome. Whack, whack, whopps. Oh, I'm not subject to that. Of the subjects of... Of the merch, there will be, I think I might mention this lot of it, on the subject of... Of the merch, I think I might mention this last week

or the week before, there, I've seen the new tranche of merch, Buglers. We're hoping it will be ready in time for Christmas in great bugle tradition. We're cutting it pretty fine, and I imagine that we'll probably miss the Christmas shipping dates, but hopefully in the next bugle

we'll have full details of some outstanding new products, some of the great, great objects that are purchasable in the international marketplace, including bugle socks. Yeah. Bugle socks. Yeah. That's it for this week's beagle, we may or may not be back with the full bugle next week, that very much depends on John's filming schedule because he is now predominantly

an actor. No, don't say that. After having been rudely fired from the daily show this week. No, don't say that, don't say that. No. I've got this genuine pain in your voice, Edson. This pain, I feel good. I feel good. I feel good. Yeah, I feel too soon. Too soon. Too soon.

Yeah. Well, hopefully we'll be back. We'll have a bit of a broken schedule of late, but hopefully we'll be back more regularly come December. Thanks for listening. This week, don't forget to check out our SoundCloud paid SoundCloud.com slash the hyphen bugle and keep your We back more regularly come December. Thanks for listening this week. Don't forget to check out our sandcloudpaidsandcloud.com slash the hyphen bugle

and keep your emails coming into info at thebuglepodcast.com. And enjoy the ashes, which start to start this week. John, I imagine the tension is building in the state side. Yeah, I guess it's going to build. They like last minute tension. They like to ignore it until it starts and maybe finishes. The problem, John, is that you know We know team look for a psychological edge now this is the ass is England against Australia the oldest rivalry in

International cricket and you have basically given the Australian something to pin on their dressing room wall Before they go out to face England with your broadside against their nation and its comfortable racism. So if we lose the ashes, John, it's your fault. Your fault. Thanks for listening, Buegelus. Until next time, goodbye. Bye!