The Bugle - Bugle 270 – Fruitcakes and Loonies
Episode Date: May 30, 2014Farage and Le Pen lead the charge to bring Europe back to the good old days, assuming bloody and broken is considered good. Plus, wasp news, and the outcome of the Zaltzman v Oliver Pool Championships... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound.
We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard,
a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven,
and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com.
If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen.
Thebugelpodcast.com to a real thing that's going to happen.
TheBuglePodcast.com to support the Danciler Guard Reader.
This is a podcast from TheBuglePodcast.com. The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.
Hello Bugleers and welcome to issue 270 of the Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.
For the week ending Friday the 30th of May 2014 with me and his ultimate in London, I
recently picked up my 5th consecutive second place finish in the annual British Silver Metal Winning Championships.
The result I was absolutely delighted with.
And in New York City, USA, it's the Frank Sinatra of Funny Stuff, the Judy Garland of Great
Jokes, the big bird of Bob Phil Banta.
It's Sergeant Showbiz, John Oliver.
Hello Andy, hello viewers, we are back.
I was in the UK last week shooting a couple of interviews for the HBO show more on those in the next few weeks
It was great to be back Andy and I managed to watch the Champions League final together
Athletic over Dreads against Ray Alma Dread
It's often said that football is like life and that was definitely true in in the case of this game Andy because the richer club won
money wins
Every time it was a happy inevitable ending. It was especially
good to be back in the run up to the World Cup to basically remind myself how fucking
excited I am about it. It was great to be in a country where there was an actual story
on the news, a story that was not short about a player at England's training camp stretching.
It was amazing to see adults talking to microphone saying Gerard looks
loose, look at him stretching there. How do you think that hamstring looks from
70 yards away outside his body? I think it looks good. Also on my way back I had
myself a sweet little eight hour delay for the flight and it is never ideal when
your delay is longer than the flight itself.
But it did afford me the chance to witness a truly unnatural wonder of the world, Andy.
And that was the sight of two visibly wealthy teenagers unironically reading yacht magazines.
It's one of the single worst things I've ever seen anywhere at any time.
That's the future, John.
Yots is where it's at.
That is the, who said they're rich, John?
They are just preparing for a Kevin Costner
water world style future.
They're just concerned citizens, John.
It's like, it's like John Steinbeck said,
Americans are just temporarily embarrassed yacht owners.
Yeah.
Don't do not judge a book by the magazine cover it is reading.
Yeah, the old saying goes.
This is bugle 270, 270s.
Of course, one of the legitimate criticisms about the birth years involved in this podcast,
bit 270s.
270, of course, the number of decoy great-grandchildren of Winston Churchill currently alive in the UK.
Now in World War II there were several decoy Churchill's to try and hoodwink the Germans into
assassinating an actor instead of the real Churchill. I think it was a pro-Churchel thing more than
an anti-actor thing, but I guess it worked on two levels. They didn't manage to keep Churchill safe
through the war, but afterwards they started all breeding with the decoy misses Churchill's, which
I guess
you know that's understandable they would fance each other. And as the generations passed these
have increased exponentially the Churchill attendance. Now 270 bogus Churchill, great-grand
children, even the family don't really know who's who anymore. And if this continues by the year
2843, 99% of the UK population will be decoyed descendants of Winston Churchill and then maybe UKIP will
finally be happy. This is the week ending Friday, 30th of May 2014. 17 years to the day from
30th of May, 2031, which is when computer predictions predicts will be the first day that the tabloid
press run a negative story about Prince George after he flies on a rocket pack into the
one of the massive greenhouses and cue gardens at the Duke of Nantelges 18th birthday party
whilst dressed as his great-grandmother, the Queen and shouting, I could have you all killed
with one phone call. That's 17 years from today.
Top story this week. Europe goes to the polls, polls suggest that Europe hates itself.
Europe Andy has a complicated relationship with itself, it's a fiery relationship, like
Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, will have explosive fights dragging the whole world
in, and then we'll follow those up with a marathon sessions of makeup bureaucracy.
Let me just put it this way.
When there's a sock hanging on the front door of the EU building in Brussels,
you do not want to open that door,
because they will be bulls deep in the middle of a 12-hour constitutional drafting orgy.
It's not so much a love-hate relationship in Europe,
as it is a tolerate-hate relationship.
The European Union was supposed to be a way of taking our differences and turning them
into a positive, rather than taking our
differences and using them as a springboard for blood baths on an unprecedented
scale. And in general sense, it's been a success. But last week, there were
elections to the European Parliament across the country, and there was
something of a lurch to the right. And historically, Andy, when Europe lurches
to the right, terrible things, Andy, when Europe lurches to the right,
terrible things inevitably happen afterwards.
The European political spectrum is something
of a batshit barometer.
It is the canary in the crazy mind.
And when that thing starts squawking too loudly,
it's probably time to start digging
some fucking trenches in Belgium.
Yes, well, as you suggest, you don't need
to be a rocket historian to think that if there's one single continent in the world one
Continent that should know the dangers of swinging politically to the right Europe would be pretty
Fucking high up that list. I would say top four or five and Antarctica
You can probably excuse if it sings into sinks into retrograde extremism
But really Europe should have picked up on those hints from history and by hints
I mean cautionary
cricket bats to the face. And it's been concerning, John, as it's been a huge,
basically extended middle finger to the European political establishment, a Pandora's Jera
Berm of resentment has been uncorked and basically a full and in fact a full double bird flip to the entire
EU.
And another factor in this drift to the right is I mean, I think, well, how is Europe
allowed this to happen?
And one of the factors in it is the importance of the European elections to the voters across
the continent.
And that importance is basically roughly as important as wondering what the difference
between table tennis and ping pong is. Or trying to remember all the words the bony m classic of historical gangster pop,
Mar Baker. In the Czech Republic and Slovakia, two countries released from the yolk of communism
and embraced into the bosom of the EU tent. They were 19 and 13% turnouts, and in Britain,
we, yeah, that was worth the wait, wasn't it? In Britain,
34% of people could be asked to struggle all the way to their local polling station, which
is about standard for a European election. So basically, this is Europe just basically pressing
the snooze alarm button and saying, oh, it's probably not going to be as bad as last time we swang
hard to the right. And it's been a lot of debate over what the causes of this have been. And I think a lot of it
comes down to the perception amongst the people around Europe that the EU political elite basically
sit around eating scrambled, fabled eggs for breakfast and not really doing what they're supposed to do.
It's hard to draw significant conclusions from any single set of election results, but the European parliamentary elections
make a pretty strong case for the argument
that Europeans are complete ourselves.
Because in a worrying waltz, as old as the continent itself,
Euroskeptic and far-right parties
see significant ground in what's the French Prime Minister
called a political earthquake.
And I don't know if it was truly a political earthquake,
Andy, as much as it was a shame inducing shitstorm.
Some very depressing parties around Europe made gains,
although to even call them parties is slightly misleading.
They're not a party-like expression of joy in any form.
They're more like parties in the sense that a wake is a party.
They're essentially funerals for humanity.
The UK Independence Party, or UKIP, or KISS for short,
made big gains in the British election,
and the French National Front,
led by the abomination of decency in a pantsoot form,
Marine Le Pen, also made big gains,
and the truly terrifying Greek neo-Nazi group, Golden Dawn,
also won seats.
They are misleadingly named, of course, after a sunrise,
but it would only be the kind of sunrise you mistook for a sunrise when the world, in fact,
was actually on fire. The French national front, 125% of the vote in France
and were described as fascist by Germany's finance minister.
And when a German leader describes you as fascist Andy, the label sticks. Good luck peeling
that thing off. German Chancellor Angela Merkel described the far right victory as a remarkable
and regrettable, and said that the best response was to boost economic growth and jobs. Although
again, she really has to say that, Andy. There is no world in which a German Chancellor can say, I actually understand
the frustrations that people have and will work to restore the pride, so Mr. Phil, it's
a country, you can't say that. That's not an option without people starting to kick the
tyres on their Spitfires. Mr. Le Pen, rather jamless, as you um, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, a country which has 246 varieties of cheese. So, Marine Le Pen said that she will now use her mandate to defend France and fight crazy
measures like votes for immigrants. Although to be historically clear, France's idea of
defending itself is usually completely rolling over and waiting for someone else to come and defend
them for them. So, maybe that's the kind of national defense
she was referring to.
UK Prime Minister David Cameron said
the British public was disillusioned with the EU
and that their message was received and understood.
Francois-Alauged asked Europe to pay attention to France
after describing his parties' defeat
to the National Front as painful.
And the week was split between political leaders
saying they had heard
the dissatisfaction and the right-wing groups claiming a seismic victory that would propel
them even further. But as you say, Andy, let's get all this in perspective. The election
turnout in general was 43.1% according to European Parliament figures. So this is still an
overwhelming landslide victory for people absolutely not giving a shit at all.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con.
We've always got that as a con. We've always got that as a con. We've always got that as a con. We've always got that as a con. We've always got that as a con. Wow Andy, they've taught Europe to dream again.
We have started lifting our testicles out of the electoral food processor. That is a good sign.
Murray in the pen also said this, tonight is a massive rejection of the EU.
What is happening in France prefigures, what will happen in all European countries,
the return of the nation.
Now, I think nationalism has a pretty checkered record as we've suggested on this continent. And also, I would argue, there is a time and a place for nations, John.
And that time and place is in Brazil starting in two weeks time with footballs.
That is the only time that you rig that this kind of thing is acceptable. Football, sport,
the saviour John. In the United Kingdom, as I saw, UKIP purple posters were everywhere on the streets
like a stick on siren-cooled, a self-destruction.
And much has been written and bloviated
about UKIP's leader, Nigel Farage,
who was like a one-man echo
from a time Britain should be desperately trying to forget.
He is constantly photographed with either a point of beer
or a cigarette in his hand,
and his supporters claim that he's a man of the people
and every man.
And to that, Andy, I say this,
if Nigel Farage is every man,
then I hate everybody. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha part of Farage's current popularity that he's viewed as the kind of man you could have a chat within the pub
Orbit of that chat would probably end up with you calling him a f***ing nut job him calling you a
C*** and you then telling him to stop ruining the quizz night by shouting out brossles as every answer
He suggested that the election had put the you-kip fox in the Westminster henhouse
Which I'm not sure I mean do you really want to be aligning yourself with a fox as a political party, a large
permanent renowned, principally for thieving stuff from people's bins, people's British bins, murdering
defenseless British poultry with low levels of personal hygiene and a high volume sexual intercourse.
Is that something for a political party to aspire to? Even this nation's once favourite Sunnabry Fox, Basil Brush, the former TV star,
currently is embroiled in lengthy legal battles over unpaid tax and a noise abatement order.
I should state the Mr Brush real name Basil, the Fox, insists the tax schemes he was
investing in were technically legal and that he was supporting grassroots banking in the
Cayman Islands. And regarding the noise abatement order, he said, our two Foxes not allowed to
fall enough anymore. What the f*** has this country become?
One of Farazhi's supporters said,
when Nigel Speaks,
he doesn't sound like he swallowed a book of soundpights.
And, you know, that is true, Andy,
because when he speaks,
it sounds like he swallowed an English history book
from the 1920s, a bag of marbles,
three bottles of red wine,
and he's vomiting them all back up simultaneously
into a microphone. That is what he sounds like. of marbles, three bottles of red wine, and is vomiting them all back up simultaneously
into a microphone. That is what he sounds like. There is justifiable concern in Britain
about what UKIP's electoral victories mean for the future. Ed Miliband, the opposition
leader, argued that UKIP had won votes by touting simple solutions to serious problems
that had built up over generations, then saying, but there isn't a simple answer. And that's clearly ridiculous, Andy,
because as the UKIP manifesto perfectly simply testifies,
what could be simplifyingly simpler than pledging
to build a simple time machine to go back
to the late 1800s and, impermanently and selectively,
in Britain's glorious past, God save the Queen, Andy,
not Elizabeth, Victoria, the real one oh yeah oh yeah she was
all queen and also ex prime minister Tony Blair said that you keep his view on what was that God
rest his soul John I mean he's still alive but his soul is long dead. That's true. It said that UKIPs use on immigration were regressive
and that under that facade, there is something unpleasant and nasty.
And the problem with that statement is that the employees at UKIPs facade
is pleasant and unnasty in the first place.
They are a disgusting book wrapped in a revolting cover.
But they've managed to pick up, I think, around about 29% of the votes.
And clearly not everyone who votes for them is in the image of their opinion splitting leader.
And I think part of the problem is there's just this massive dissatisfaction and disconnection
with mainstream politics. And this is proved by the fact, John, that the number of tattoos
of politicians that people in Britain have has fallen dramatically over the fact, John, that the number of tattoos of politicians that people in Britain
have has fallen dramatically over the years, even as the overall number of tattoos has
rocketed up.
I mean, back when we were growing up, a solid 60% to 70% of this nation's ink was the likes
of Clement Attlee, Winston Churchill, little Stanny Baldwin and Nye Bevan.
Now you go to the beach, you're lucky if you can see a single Chris Grayling tattoo in
an entire afternoon. And that shows what British politics has become.
And Ed Milliband is sort of in the forefront of this. He was possibly the least appropriate
party leader in this nation's history. I mean, it's hard to think of anyone less suited
to leading a political but other than me, because he has no relevant experience, he comes from a privileged background and he
is unnecessarily young for the job.
The very least he could do is look and sound authentic.
If you're going to have slick media managed politicians, at least make them a slick and
b, look like they've paid attention during their media management classes.
The British electorate is about as convinced by Ed Miliband as a vegan would be, if a pig
walked up to him in a salad bar and said,
you can eat me, I'm a lettuce, go on, tuck in.
And he got, he was picked up in one of these completely irrelevant political micro storms
for getting the price of an average family food shop wrong. I think he said it was 70 pounds and the actual figures are 100 pounds a week. But frankly, if you're leader of a political party,
you should not have time to even contemplate
going to the shops.
You should just be living on takeaways, frankly.
And also, I mean, to be fair,
he does spend 70 pounds on his weekly shop,
but he spends it all on watermelons,
which he then paints faces on,
lines them up around his dinner table at home
and pretends to be holding a cabinet meeting.
And that is the closest thing he will have to relevant experience should he become Prime Minister at next year's general election.
So are there any grounds for optimism? Well, you know, I'm not a godfiring man, John, and that feeling is entirely mutual.
But if I assume, if I thought praying was worthwhile, I'll be asking a big man to pull out some of his old magic for one of his finest ever
Contents because Europe needs it now John. The European Union, flawed as it is, one of the greatest political ideas in history
It would be a real shame if it wastes itself up the wall in a morass of needless legislation and bloat in this and I've
For one, you know, it's one of the the founding missions of it was to stop Europe from killing itself. It began in 1951 with a formation of the European colon steel community and in the Schumann Declaration
of 1950, the French Foreign Minister Robert Schumann, the Bobby Schumann popping up there
in the box with a terrific little proposal for a Super National community.
He said this, Europe will be born of this, a Europe which is solidly united and constructed
around a strong framework.
And he said that one of his intentions was to make war not only unthinkable, but materially
impossible.
And the nation's involved, France, West Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg.
Why not Luxembourg?
Why not join in for fun?
Bear again mind, twice in the previous 35 years, most of those countries had been killing
the living shit out of each other.
And that much of the European history prior to that had also been spent killing the living shit out of each other. And that much of the European history brighter that had also been spent killing the living shit out of each other. And when you're
on board of that, we sailed around the world and killed the shit out of whoever we found
elsewhere in the world. Sometimes we've got them to do it, sometimes to do it ourselves.
Other times we outsourced it to our key strategic allies like smallpox or forced starvation.
So it's been a step forward. and I don't like massive continental wars
jump because A, I'm a coward and B, as a consumer. I don't think they represent good value for money.
So I think this European idea is something that the continent should be clinging to. There
are some shafts of hope. It was not all the right word drift. There was also a swing to the left
in some areas in Spain. There's a brand new political party called the Podemos party and it was only formed way
way back in 2014 and it registered 1.2 million votes, 8% of the Spanish vote and now has
5 seats in the European Parliament and amongst its aims are poverty reduction, social dignity,
strict controls on lobbying and trying to stamp out tax evasion, which I'm sure are lefty affectations that they will simply
have to grow out of when the harsh realities of government come calling.
A quick bit of animal news now and footage captured by scientists has revealed a parasitic wasp
that appears to have evolved a zinc-tipped drill on its snout to bore into fruit.
Now this is very exciting development.
John, I imagine it's been huge news in the States.
I think Marvel have already bought the rights for that.
The new superhero, the zinc-tipped wasp.
Well, I think it's the first side of the animal kingdom finally fighting back in its age old battle with the top dogs
Humans and when you've not dogs out of the top dog slot, you know you're a pretty fucking special species
I'm gonna option Andy
That is gonna re kickstart my movie career. I'm gonna be this ink tipped wasp
Buzz it around stinging people but not dying from it. Don't I think when people are kicking your movie career they're not trying to make it start again
I'm gonna defeat the pewter tip to be
but it's very interesting there's this zinc tip drilled wasp
appears to have concentrated on developing industrial machinery rather than transport or military hardware
and it's not the first time it's happened. Of course, the 19th century naturalist,
Don Elias Polkoun, came back from an eight-year expedition
in Africa with sketches of gorillas
with rotating sores for arms and giraffes
with TV aerials in their heads.
There are also rumors that an armoured dillow
with a machine gun snout somewhere in Madagascar
is at large.
Those rumors are as yet made up.
But we cannot rest on our bipedal laurels anymore.
These animals are out to knock us off our evolutionary
perschion, and we have to respond as we've all
responded to any threat from the animal kingdom
by hunting it to extinction and beyond.
Oh!
Oh!
Your emails now this one comes in from Robin.
Right, as a newcomer to the bugle,
I've been catching up.
I downloaded the bugle back catalog and it's taken me six months of listening
to wave through all the bullshit to get to the present in May 2014.
As a consequence of what could be called a punishment or self-flagulation,
I've learnt one, penises are always funny,
but particularly if on a roof belonging to a congressman,
nails to red square, that was particularly funny penis
or wangled from Napoleon's corpse. Oh yeah I forgot about that, that was the most reason one.
I did a gig in Paris recently and I did some of those Napoleon penis jokes that we did on the
Beagle the previous week and I don't know I think France still holds a can if not further a hole in Napoleon then certainly for his penis
Two wearing my orange bugle socks and orange bugle scarf and drinking from my
Eulogy mug makes life better. Well that never has a true word been spoken and you can buy all that much
at the buglepodcast.com and three I know more about cricket now than I ever wanted to know well
I might be more than you ever wanted to know Robin, but I's not all that you need to know. You need to know more. You need to devote
yourself to it. Cricket will save you from the harsh realities of reality. And he concludes,
I want to give Andy special praise for his 12-1-joke in Griggle 127. The best joke I've heard in ages.
It was a great joke. Well, I was just about that. We were just a world class joke.
Well, for those of you who didn't hear it at the time,
we were talking about this last weekend,
while you were here by coincidence.
Here is that joke.
It came a little while into a particularly
cos-heavy bugle.
It's things a little bit, John, to be honest,
as a citizen of the United Kingdom,
as I still am, do you still have the paper saw?
Yeah, yes, I do, Andy.
We're all really, the f***ing news I'm every now and again, mate.
But, it's been awfully swearing at Buegel recently.
Yeah.
I don't know why that is.
Chris, any suggestions?
Well, maybe you just need to listen to the words of the Pope.
All right.
What at least they don't f***ing swear.
Right, that's now 12 fucks one.
Fuck, today.
Oh, god.
Yeah, why have you said that?
That's 13, too.
That's 13, too.
I was going to say 12 fucks one.
That's pretty much the Jewish have to do to the new testament,
isn't it?
Oh, Andy.
I'm going to burn in hell for that. I'm going to burn in hell for that joke.
That's a way to make the absolutely foul, truly sublime.
Well, I hope you enjoy that joke, Budalus, because I'm going to suffer eternal pain for
your laughter.
So there you go, that's, I mean in many ways, John, that is not only the highlight of my professional career,
but arguably it's in the top four moments in my life.
And I only say that because I have one wife and two children
who might have some stage listened to this.
So I have to say top four, not top one.
two children who might have some stage listened to this. So I have to say top four, not top one.
Okay.
Today's count is 10 f**ks and three f**ks.
Now we go excluding the clip of the last one.
All right, well that gets into, you know,
how philosophical areas of what counts as a f**k
and a f**k.
Do keep your emails coming into info at thebouglebodcast.com.
Don't forget to check out our soundtowepadesanclad.com slash the hyphen bugle.
Don't forget to also buy your tickets for my Ed and Richo at the stand.
Also, there's a charity gig on Wednesday, the 4th of June at the Hyderway in Stretem,
right by Stretem station in South London. Starts at 830 doors from 630,
tickets 15 pounds, raising money
for the Stretem Youth and Community Trust charity that my wife works for featuring me, Russell
Howard and Tiffany Stephenson. You can get tickets at hideawaylive.co.uk. It's your unquestionably,
these show is events of the millennium. Now, just time for a quick sports section. And a quick report now from the Bugle Pool Championships held last week in Gypsy Hill,
South London.
And, well, John, as I'm sure you remember, the Bugle Pool Championships resulted in a convincing
win for a very deserving champion and exultzmanly 39-year-old father of two who actually demolished
the well-beaten former British number 8.3 million
Frank's John Oliver in one of the finest displays of tactical pool and human ship that the game has
ever seen many fans had expected close contest but
so Zoltzman won frame after frame as Oliver's potting and break building. Well frankly it collapsed
like a hippos hammock and Zoltzman's masterful safety play allowed to clinical potting of the pool balls
in the pool pockets.
Well, the laps due ran away with it.
The laps due and bacon, a fishing auto.
Claim the title in considerable style.
I'm delighted to say that we're joined now
by the Buglepool champion Andy Zoltzman.
Andy, hello, thanks for taking some time off
from this recording to talk to us.
And that's fine.
I absolutely no problem, I was in the studio anyway.
Now, you must be absolutely delighted
with your form on the day. it was a truly magnificent performance,
you knew one by, frankly, an almost embarrassing margin in the end. Yeah, well I just got
out there and concentrated on my pool shots and let all the hype get to me and while I was
delighted with an absolutely thumping victory over John, my thoroughly and rightfully demoralized
opponent. Where next few Andy off, they're surely going to have to seek tougher challenges
than the challenge John Oliver was able to provide on the pool table.
Yes, well, with all due respect to John, these are the kind of matches that I expect myself
to win and I did win by an absolutely colossal distance.
Thank you very much for speaking to us, Andy.
And now, Johnny is from New York. He's defeated.
Bugal pool championship finalists.
John Oliver.
John.
So what went wrong?
What went wrong, John?
I mean, that was an absolute showing.
Absolutely.
A one-off aberration, Andy.
Just look at the scoreboard for the series.
That's all I've said.
This proves nothing.
You couldn't do it on the big occasion, John.
That's what it shows.
That's what it shows.
We'll be back next week with the official Bugle Football World Cup preview.
And that tournament cannot start soon enough
from a point of view of ignoring all world news.
Thanks for listening, bugleers.
We will speak to you again next week.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Bye.
you