The Bugle - The Rodents Are All Dead (4243)
Episode Date: October 17, 2022Andy is with Anuvab Pal, Felicity Ward and Nato Green to look at Trussonomics, controversial Bollywood movies and Nancy Pelosi's emergency snack habit, plus it's our birthday!Why not listen to our new... show, celebrating 15 years of Top Stories: https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/topstoriesThis episode was produced by Chris Skinner Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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From the dawn of time, the universe was enveloped in an inescapable darkness.
For somewhere between 6,013 billion years,
depending on which so-called expert you believe,
humankind fumbled around in the gloom,
hoping in vain for occasional shafts of light, none came, only an unending dance of joylessness,
as civilization plinked along aimlessly towards its inevitable end, until in October 2007.
15 years ago to this second give or take
The bugle audio newspaper for a visual world, please welcome to the stage Andy's on Welcome to this day, Janis Olsberg!
Hello, Bueblin!
Chris, Chris, you put the f***ing balloons in front of the mic. But says 51!
It's not 51!
It's not the start to the show that I want to.
This is not the start to the show that I want to. Hello, people!
Welcome to the 15th anniversary bugle.
Today is the actual birthday of the bugle.
The first ever episode was released on the 15th of October,
appropriately enough for this 15th
anniversary 2007 and if you just think of what's happened since the bugle started
puts it all in perspective almost all of the rodents that were alive in the
world when the bugle was first broadcast a dead! Why do you hate rodents so much? We are ridding the world of those snouty little seed nibbling whiskers, which is the
population of the world has gone up by more than a billion.
Why is that?
Because this show makes the global climate crisis.
You welcome, all be only because 15 years have passed in the end of the world as 15 years
higher than it was, so we're still looking at the most viable end point for the global
cooking crisis, but there you go.
As always, a section of the bugle is going, where?
In the bin!
I can't hear you! In the bin this week, our
section of the bin is the number 15 is going in the bin, the number 15 is the atomic number
of phosphorus. And to mark this, there is a free bucket of phosphorus on the way out for
the first person to translate the show into Egyptian hieroglyphs, paint it onto an ancient coffin and convince an archaeologist that the bugle was celebrity
Pharaoh Amin Ho-Tep the second's favourite podcast, and it insisted on being buried in a bugle
theme tomb, so I do enter that competition.
Fifteen is also a song composed by Taylor Swift on her 2008 album Fillus.
So Mark the bugleles 15th anniversary.
She saw the longevity of the show, even 14 years ago.
She's a visionary, Swift.
And Taylor is actually coming to play
a set at the end of the show.
Did you hear about that?
As she confirmed?
Just carry on.
Oh, no, Chris.
15 is also, well, what a number that is,
you don't need to be a rocket mathematician
to know that 15 is a deficient number a
Lucky number a pernicious number a bell number a pentatoke number and a smooth number
Isn't the internet fun?
So that section is
There we go right it's time to meet our guests for this special 15th anniversary show our guests need no introduction
We are guests for this special 15th anniversary show. Our guests need no introduction.
LAUGHTER
Maybe on a reflection they do need an introduction.
Please welcome joining us in this room,
in this very room, all the way from distant parts of the universe,
albeit on Earth, but still quite distant,
more distant than Stretten, we're off-going from.
Anuva Paal and Felicity Waa!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Anuva Pao and Felicity Waa! APPLAUSE
Hello!
For the listeners at home, Chris set the microphones to an
embarrassingly high level.
LAUGHTER
Where neither of us were almost able to reach it.
Welcome, both for Felicity. You, since your last appearance on the
people, what's your war going on? You have had a huge change in your life.
I have. You have been blessed by the magic of Britishness.
I have. I became a citizen in May. Thank you. Thank you so much.
And many of you will ask why.
And...
Why? Yes!
Sir, I'm asking the same question of myself.
Because I mean, since May,
I mean, things are pretty shit before that,
but they've gone absolutely off the f***ing walls,
since so, I mean, what's...
I'm a powerful lady, okay?
They saw I was here, they're like, okay, that's the queue, that's the queue, let's let them loose,
and they've gone absolutely batch it, so...
You, as I've known on the film Moana that I watch eight times a day,
because I have a toddler. You're welcome.
And if I've been over here for the last month or so? Yes. I mean, how have you, as an Indian
observer of Britain and all of the other countries have, you know, we've got a shared history. Not always voluntarily shared.
But shared, now that how have you, you know,
you've found that the chaos that has been
enveloping this country?
Yes, well, you know, I studied accounting,
and I never thought that accounting would ever be in the news.
Now, in accounting, there is a term for retail inventory management called Last
in First Out. I didn't realise you were applying down to British politics.
Also joining us for what I believe is the first three guest bugle all the way from San
Francisco if technology works and and very in mind,
you know, the change in technology in the 15 years
of the bugle, the first episode that we did on this day
in 2007, we needed two yoghurt pots
and a string across the Atlantic.
So John Oliver and I could communicate.
A lot of the early episodes were recorded on a typewriter as well.
So I mean, we've technology has moved on, so let's hope it works.
From San Francisco, the man who is a one-man criticism of the naivety of international military alliances, NATO greed!
He's hiding.
He's absolutely... Can you make him bigger, Chris?
In his opinion, but that's good. Chris, can you hear me? Yeah, that is.
Okay, I can't hear a f***ing thing anybody is saying.
So, I'm piped into a room and I can't see anybody and I can't hear anybody and it's going to be a podcast that comes out later.
This is a black mirror episode isn't it?
This whole thing feels like having a wet dream about masturbating.
So well our top story this week and there's only one place to start.
The Bugles 15th birthday! Well, the world has changed since 2007.
I don't, I don't, I'm going out on a limb on a safe.
About 50, and 2007 everyone was happy.
There was no war. Democracy was expressing the will of all people in its purest form.
And you could breathe pure oxygen wherever you went and drink quite literally liquid water
from puddles on the pavement. And it would all be fun.
But things have gone a bit downhill. Felicity, what were you doing in 2009?
Well, it may surprise you to know that this time,
exactly in 2007, I was a little polynod
as not I was a nerd of multiple persuasions,
but I was in politics.
We were experiencing a change, a labor change in government.
And if you've heard the phrase Kevin O'7,
a couple of one Australian and get a mate, how you going?
Kevin O'7 was the slogan of a challenging MP called Kevin Rudd,
and he was going to bring it back after 11 years of John Howard.
This yes, boo, yes, boo, that mono-browed little racist.
And it was just a decade of Islamophobia in the media.
And then Kevin Rudd, like, represented hope and change.
And this was a month before he got elected.
I had a Kevin O.7 T-shirt.
Nod! And on the night of the election, we all sat around. This was a month before he got elected. I had a Kevin O. Seventy shirt. No!
And on the night of the election, we all sat around
and it was amazing going from like this,
as I said, this is Lamaphobia for so long.
And then Kevin just turned and like his first great act
was to say sorry to the first Australians,
to Aboriginal people, and that was so symbolic.
And then not like three years later
he opened concentration camps and sent asylum seekers
so what I'm saying is Australia's really got a reputation and nothing's changed
and if I brought what were you doing 2007 October
I was two years old Andy so I don't know
I don't know what this discussion is about
but I did look up because you said 2007,
importantly, for the view goal, what happened.
And apparently, I think all the iPhone came out and forever ended this useless thing called
the printing press.
A useless invention by Johannes Gutenberg in 1440 has served no purpose and the iPhone
has ended that.
What a name.
Johannes Gutenberg.
I'm like, we're just going to skip over that.
I thought you were going to say iPhone is a correct.
What a name.
Well, we could come back to Johannes Gutenberg later in the show
in a special feature section in the week.
Who's a real dish?
But I have to say, Andy, being 2007, when this podcast started, I thought it was a true
crime podcast.
And I'm still hanging around to find out who did it.
Uh, Naito, can you hear us?
Uh, yes.
Oh, good.
What were you doing?
Chris, I didn't hear what anyone else said, but Chris texted me that you're talking about 07.
Yes.
Here's what I was doing in 07.
I was doing stand-up comedy about how George W. Bush
was the worst president ever.
Ah.
Ah.
How naive I was.
Ah.
I was also talking about how Dick Cheney was the devil.
I did the following joke.
It's a stats joke.
You'll appreciate it.
A new poll is out. George Bush is approval rating among black voters is 2%.
That means that there are fewer black people in the United States that like George Bush,
than like Kenny G, Camping, or apartheid. The margin of error on that poll is plus or minus 3%.
That means that it's statistically possible that negative one percent of black people like George Bush
So out of an American black population of approximately 30 million
It means that there could be 200,000 black people who don't like George Bush who don't exist yet
Right, anyway, that's the world in 2007, but let's bring it up to date now with our actual top story
2022 And also But let's bring it up to date now with our actual top story 2022
Top story then Britain is fucking fucked
Yes, this was this graphic this was from the daily star, the ruthlessly journalistic political newspaper. They've had a webcam and you can bet on whether the lettuce will outlast
Liz Truss. This is British media and its investigative finest.
So this is Liz Trust, the interim prime minister
of the United Kingdom.
She's desperately attempted to you turn her way back out
of the political U-ben.
She's flushed herself in the entire fucking country,
damn, even as the turds of free market inevitability
have waved ironically at her on the way past.
It's been strange.
So she has a political compass that seems to point magnetically
to wrong move, Amigo, and has found herself at log ahead,
not only with the cold, hard, sausage of economic reality,
but also with her own policies rebounding in her face
and with the party, which elected her as their leader,
just, and this is now a technical term
of a university acknowledged time span in politics.
Six f***ing weeks ago!
LAUGHTER
Um...
I mean, as...
Yeah, a new Brit...
LAUGHTER
Stroke Australian, and an Indian and an American
who will be a Chris, you're giving NATO a full text.
I have just texted him. Yes.
Stand down.
First, he's about to go on a rant.
That's going to you first, for Listery.
This is your country now.
You are partly responsible for this mess.
What the f***'s been going on?
First, sorry.
Have to say that as a new British citizen.
Look, we've had something very similar in Australia.
We went through this where we were changing leaders
every couple of months or years.
It was an absolute mess.
And the thing is, democracy is at stake here.
More and more, PMs are being elected by the party
and not the people.
We need stability and leadership.
And I think the desperate times call for desperate measures.
And I think it's time to call on Paul the psychic octopus.
And I'm sure I've talked about him before,
but Paul is an octopus that in the 2010 football
World Cup would pick the lead out when you put two flags
at either end of his tank.
And I think we need someone who is bipartisan,
who can relate to every party.
And Paul is that thing.
Like he's got eight legs, so he's a hard worker.
So he relates to Labour.
He loves the ocean, so he relates to the Greens party.
And like the Tory party, he's completely spineless. So thank you. Thank
you for that groaning clap. You absolute f**k heads. Only in this country is a groan
accepted as a round of applause. You think you funny, do you? Because we kind of do, but we don't want to let you know.
So, I mean, is he still alive or has it been...
No, he did die, but...
Very, very ill-advised, holiday to Spain, I believe it was.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
I still think he'd make a better choice.
But has, then, have his psychic powers been passed down
to the next generation in the traditional...
Oh, sexual pines.
Yes, of passing... Are you enjoying having a king?
Isn't it a bit weird?
Like, the queen we've had for so long, you're like,
oh, yes, the queen.
And then we have a king, I'm like, hang on,
I'm reading fairy tales to my toddlers that have kings.
And I thought it was fantasy.
I'm like, oh, the King and the Princess,
and there's a frog.
And you know what I mean?
And now I'm a King.
I'm like, hang on, we're all grown-ups.
Are we, we're, we're paying them, we have a King.
Are you insane?
Are we insane?
I think we are insane.
What are you doing?
Well, I mean, that is not a question that we're allowed
to ask in this country.
No.
Because if we start asking that, we will never stop answering.
Ah.
Anuva, the chaos has been, and what would
have been the highlights for you?
Well, it's, I mean, when you mentioned this topic, Andy,
it's been very confusing for me because I think I missed what's going on
because I googled shortest British prime ministers.
Yeah.
It was William Pitt, the tiny. He's got to be run over, isn't it?
He's up there, but I got Spencer Percival, 18 or 9 to 18 12, 5 foot 4 inches.
That's actually quite an acceptable height, actually, so I don't know.
And I don't know why you're so caught up about
Prime Ministerial tenures because it's really quality that matters
I mean, but we we in India had a Prime Minister called Ike Gujaral. He was only Prime Minister for 11 months
He was caretaker Prime Minister for four of those 11 months and was abroad for the remaining freedom
But he was an incredible Prime Minister. He did only one thing.
He changed the colour of the passports and increased the number of pictures in a passport.
More than any other Prime Minister has ever done.
Give us the American analysis of, because you've had your fair share of political glitches in
America, I think it's fair to say. In recent times, have you been enjoying watching
your old rulers go through it?
Yeah, I'm trying to keep up with it.
And because I can't hear what anyone else said,
maybe you already covered it and answered this question.
So I gather, so quasi-quarting was sacked.
He was the second shortest serving chancellor of the
exchequer. Of course, I'd look him up. The shortest serving chancellor was Ian McLeod in 1970,
who was in office for a month and then died of a heart attack, or to use the language of the day,
McLeod, you turned on having a pulse. Quarting was in the United States and
then came home in order to get fired. It seems like Trust should have just called him and
been like, you know what, stay there. And then my favorite thing was what what Quasic Quarting said when they scrapped the plan. He said the
reason that they scrapped their plan and and change course was quote, we just talk to people,
we listen to people, I get it, which raises the question, if he just talked to people and
listen to people, what were they doing before? How did they make economic plans without either
talking or listening? So, and then I watched the Liz Trust press conference and she said
that her goal is a high growth low tax economy. It just that she wants high growth more prosperity. It just sounds like I want more
good and less bad. It's like it feels like all high growth low tax economy. It my based
on my limited understanding of British history works great if you are a already rich and
be actively plundering the third world at the same time. Those are the keys to the success of a high-growth
low-tax economy. But I'm no economist. And then my favorite thing, what I'm having
trouble following, what the like are the, so I gather that Tories are mad at
trust now. And maybe you could explain this to me, Tories are mad at trust. And are
they mad because the economic plan was shit because the economic plan was shit?
Because the economic plan was shit, but a shit that they liked because it's screwed poor people and made rich people richer, or that she had a shit
economic plan and they want it and she didn't commit to it fully.
That she should have seen the shit plan through to the end.
You do need to. Which is it?
Yeah, I mean, it's hard to know what the answer to that is,
because I mean, essentially, she's trying to row back
on all previous commitments, regardless of what waterfalls
she is rowing back towards.
Her favorability rating is now at minus 56%.
It was 9% of people in this country have a favorable view,
which I think is quite impressive.
Yeah.
Still, 65% unfavorable.
Seriously, we are heading towards
and the results,
when at the Manchester Comedy Store in December 2002 level.
So we're not that far away.
She's now has a lower favorability
than either Boris Johnson or Jeremy Corbyn at their least popular.
Minus 56.
That's also Jacob Reesmog's blood temperature in Fahrenheit.
It's the exchange rate of the pound
against the Ruritanian schnitzel now.
And it's also the conservative's
predicted vote share of the next election
if their poll rating continues sinking at their current rate.
So let's put this in perspective.
I grew up in Tombridge Wells and I was a poll in Tombridge Wells just yesterday, after
all the things that have happened.
And fewer than 93% of Tombridge Wells had now vote Tory.
That is down, that is down about 80% on the average general election.
So you're quite quote, quote. And if I may, I saw one story,
I'm trying to follow the logic of all the U-turns.
Yes.
Because there was a, I saw a story that said,
Ms. Truss already U-turned on her plan
to scrap the top rate of income tax.
And a further U-turn is likely to be seen as a blow
to her political authority.
Isn't a U-turn after a U-turn just turning around completely?
Well, it's actually rotating slowly in a circle, isn't that what she's doing?
I mean, essentially, obviously Margaret Thatcher is her hero.
The Margaret Thatcher famously said,
U-turn if you want to, the ladies not for turning and Liz Truss has taken that,
picked up the ball and changed it to U-turn if you want to, the ladies not for turning and Liz Truss has taken that, picked up the ball and changed it to you turn if you want to, I will also turn.
And keep turning, oh no, I've lost my balance, I've hit my head on a shelf. I'm dizzy now. So that's essentially where we are.
And the problem for Truss is that all they've offered so far in this plan, it's not so much a plan for sustainable growth, as a kick me sign plastered to Britain's national economic backside, allied to a classic modern
rightward leaning political salad of quarter-baked sloganettes, infected enemies and uncosted
vagueness.
As a result, the international markets have been spooked, I believe, as the technical economic
time.
I mean, there's a bit of a concern, isn't it?
Why would you look at me when you say those words? I mean, you've caused a few stock market crashes in your time, haven't you?
Are you flirting with me?
International markets are very easily spooked. Loud noises, bright lights.
Or in this case, the Prime Minister and the Chancellor sitting in our National Economic Camp
of Ann, pointing at a brick wall, flooring the accelerator and shouting,
strapping everyone, we're going to fucking try something!
Well, shoving a copy of Milton Friedman's,
Milton Friedman's, the free market libertarians,
guide to road safety down their trousers to absorb the impact.
That is the situation.
We are in.
I'm just curious, Andy, rather than incrementally
ruling back things and saying, we're doing an about a,
could someone just come out, probably quasi-quite and see
We said some things in the mini budget forget about it
Is that an easier thing to do? Well, I think we're not far away from them just pumping
Mind-arrasing drugs into the water supply like they do with fluoride for tell people I would welcome that with sweet relief
I could bring our nation together after the divisions of Brexit.
If we all just had our fucking minds wiped,
which of course 52% already had that before the vote.
But I mean, the point is, when bring the country together,
would it not?
Would it not?
Too soon?
Ow.
I didn't say which 52% could have been split
between both sides.
Ah!
What I did like, though, is that I mean,
obviously, you know, all breakups are difficult. And and Liz Truss having sex quasi-quarting said she was sorry to lose
quasi-quarting. I'm really angry the eight saying such a shame about Anne lovely
girl. Also the word lose it's like if you left him in America go oh no we lost
in America it's like no no no back here, look me in the eye.
So I can say, get the fuck out of this office.
You are our scapegoat.
And also I have a question.
Apparently, there's a lot of things being said
about a anti-growth group of people.
Yes.
The people who are against growth.
And then we've got to just check now.
It's kind of our McCarthy's.
Now is anyone here in the anti-growth coalition? Yeah!
Right, what about me?
Anti-strong coalition. Strong coalition.
And I think one of the Conservative members said that they're pro-penury.
So they've clearly tried stand-up comedy.
Yes, sorry to interrupt you.
Oh, I wish I knew what penury meant.
Since the 2015 election,
when the Conservative Party won promising strong and stable government,
as compared with the chaos of Edmila Band and the Labour Party, we have had four Prime Ministers
and seven Chancellors of the Exchequer.
We could be set for a fourth change in Prime Minister since 2015, as many as there were,
and when that took over in 1979 up to the 2015 election, seven chancellors including five new ones since July 2019, three of them since July,
this four chancellors in the last five months, as many as they were from 1993
to 2015. So in summary, as I said, we're fucked.
As I said, we're fucked. Um...
...movey onto other completely unrelated British stories.
The entire country is on strike, basically.
Possibly, there is a correlation between years and years of unbelievably shit government,
and everyone going on strike.
Nate, I'm going to come to you on this because you are, you work for, you are a union rep.
You are generally, when you record the bugle, chucking Molotov cocktails at the police of
San Francisco, metaphorically.
I mean, what have you made of the wave of industrial action over here?
So we didn't doubt, take to the streets, shut them down.
I've given advice about strikes before on the bugle and it was striketober in Urigo in
America.
It's striketober now in England.
They won of the strike.
People mostly excited to be on strike.
They want to march around and they're excited.
Day two, you need to pump up the energy, so get, like, have a big mass march.
Day three, people start getting tired of the strike, and so you want to start occupying offices.
Maybe you lock your head to the boss's desk, things of that nature.
Day four, people get hungry, things of that nature.
Day four, people get hungry and so send snacks. That's the key thing.
And then day five is when you begin giving each other
hand jobs on the picket lines.
So I think everyone should get fisted
during the strike, is my advice.
I think that makes it better.
I also, as you can see, from my background,
I have a handy strike ready zoom background.
If anybody wants it, tweet it, me, I'll send it to you.
I also think some people complain
that strikes inconvenience them.
And to those people, I would like to say, fuck you.
That's the point of the strike is to a convenience people.
So if you are a convenience, then what the universe is telling you is that it's time for you to go on strike, too.
Andy, I just have a couple of, you know, I know lots of strikes have been going on successfully.
And I think the basic thing that people have been doing is not showing up to work.
Now, when I come from, we've seen a range of pretty good strikes.
And I just want to just discuss some creative ideas around strikes.
I just want to go back to, as the young people say, the OG of strikes, Mahatma Gandhi.
And he was big. He was big in the strikes.
And wicked-caping, just two things.
And he was big into, and his main one, the one no one was expecting,
which I think he's, he nick from someone, was the understrike.
He just stopped eating. Churchill didn't expect that.
He had a full meal ready and he said, I'm not going to eat till you free India.
And I was very confusing for everyone in power.
Right. And is that why Churchill stole all the food from all the other Indians? So I'm just gonna go in and
I'm just gonna quickly move on
Is that an edgey topic?
Now we're still like come on get some time
But the comedy show without a late-hearted Bengal famine reference
Give the people what they want
reference. Give the people what they want. Swatmine Macintosh is successful and we're on that same bus. That is the name of my band by the way, Light Hearted Bengal Family
reference. So we have been touring all around eastern India. But the one that I found brilliant
and very confusing was the non-cooperation movement. Where he said, you know, obviously
he wasn't up for violence.
He said, this is India 1930, you're working with British people,
work with British people, but don't cooperate with them,
which makes the workplace very difficult.
Because you'll be like, Simon,
something that's supposed to say, can you plus the pen?
And the Indian person goes, no.
So pesky protests.
But lately, we've been really upping the ante.
One of my favorite protests was in an exam in Eastern India
in the state of Behar, where the students were protesting
the ridiculous exam schedule and rigor required.
So they showed up at the exam completely naked,
throwing the entire examination schedule into a bit of disarray.
And yet some people had mentally prepared for everyone else to be naked in the room,
so they just iced the test, actually.
Just some breaking news on strikes.
British ghosts are going on strike.
The British Union of Specters has just released a statement saying most people are now so haunted by reality.
But they see us as just someone to unload their worries to.
As a result, in a decline in jobs satisfaction amongst our members, there's never been a tougher time to be a ghost.
Well, appropriately enough, that brings us on to America News now. NATO brings up to date with Donald Trump has been subpoenaed.
What else has been in catcher in your attention in America this week? Yeah, hey Andy. So America is stupid and I think it's safe to say.
So a couple of highlights. We have the midterms coming up.
There are a bunch of contested Senate races. The Republican Party have decided that the key to
that the key to having a competent and sober hand on the wheel of government is to run both a TV personality for Senate and also a author of named JD Vance. JD Vance is running for Senate in Ohio. JD Vance is a tech venture capitalist who moved to San Francisco to build this fortune and then moved home to Ohio to return to his true love of
transphobia. He came to San Francisco to gate half of America. It made him
rich and now he's mad about liberals. So that always makes sense. He has never
had public office but he wrote a book about hillbillies and you know how since
Trump has been elected,
there were all these commentaries
about the plight of the American heartland
and the misunderstood and maligned white people
who were so tired of being disrespected by coastal elites
like me that they've decided it's time for fascism
because there's a black mermaid.
That's JD Vance.
He's that guy.
And JD Vance is right.
I am a coastal elite and I do look down on him. He created that guy. And JD Vance is right. I am a coastal lead,
and I do look down on him. He created a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's not because he's from Ohio, it's just because he's a c**t.
And like a lot of Republicans,
they are very wound up about pronouns.
They're outraged by the idea,
Vance is outraged by the idea that people should get to tell you
what they want to be called instead of you telling them
that's why jade vance goes around ohio calling married women by their maiden
names
uh...
oh mister and miss jameson bullshit lib tart it will always be mister jameson
and miss everly
don't bring me into your bedroom
no i will not send a look lecroset Higine from the wedding registry.
Republicans don't believe in nicknames either.
I refuse to call him Maverick.
He's only Pete Mitchell.
So Vance, this is my favorite thing.
Vance went on a podcast and told you
about children using their preferred pronouns in school.
He also said that he thought that if children became furries,
their parents had a right to know
He said if my son identifies as a chipmunk. I want to know about it
Aside from the fact that this is not a thing that occurs if your son identifies as a chipmunk and you can't tell then you're the asshole
Do mind if I say word about the January 6th Committee?
Oh, no, it's all nice.
Far away.
So, I don't know if you are aware, but in the shithole country that is United States,
the Republicans tried to overthrow the government on January 6th of 2021.
There's been a January 6th Committee investigating it.
They finally subpoena Donald Trump to come.
He won't come.
If he did come, it would be fucking amazing.
It would be Trump having to answer questions
under oath from Democrats on National TV
would be bigger than Game of Thrones.
It would also be shorter because he would start shouting
and have a stroke in about three minutes.
It's not clear if it would, I don't know, it would change anything.
Like every week since he first announced his candidacy
for president in 2015, people have been saying,
well, now they can't ignore this, and then they do.
But the real highlight of the committee
that I want to bring your attention to is Nancy Pelosi,
my congresswoman, House Speaker.
She's, I'm not the biggest fan of Nancy Pelosi.
She's a leader of the House Democrats
and the best thing that I can say about her
is that she's not Chuck Schumer.
Chuck Schumer is the leader of the Senate Democrats.
He's a Jew, but he's the kind of Jew
that makes other Jews like me yell at the television.
Get it together, man, you'll get us all killed.
I'm not saying Chuck Schumer is weak,
but if Nazis came to put him on a train to Auschwitz,
he'd offer them a cheese platter.
So the committee released two videos of Nancy Pelosi from January 6th, and one of them,
a staffer tells her that Trump is leading him up to the Capitol, and she says, quote,
I hope he comes, I will punch him out and go to jail, and I'm going to be happy.
And hearing those
words from an 80 year old Italian woman is the most terrifying thing I've ever heard
in my life. There is more menacing than any line from any mafia movie ever. I'm like,
I'm going to make him an offer. He can't refuse nothing on this. Then later that day, there's
another video of her on the phone with Mike P, and she's like, starts out like kindly
Grammily where she says, oh god bless you and Mike goodness, where are you?
I hope you're okay. And then while she's telling Pence not to let anyone know where he's hiding, she pulls down her mask,
opens the wrapper of a package of slim gyms with her f***ing teeth like it's the pinnacle grenade, and proceeds to munch on it while
telling Pence, Pence, how they're going to clean this human shit out of the capital, Ritanda. teeth like it's the pinnacle grenade and proceeds to munch on it while telling pants pants how
they're going to clean this human shit out of the capital retunda.
So her move here is highly familiar to me as a San Francisco people of the UK if you
don't know the Slim Jim is a beef jerky snack and it's sold individually wrapped as an
impulse buy at the counter of the neighborhood corner store.
It tastes bad even within the genre of the neighborhood corner store, it tastes bad.
Even within the genre of dried beef snacks, it's not a good one.
And yet there are 560 million sold in the United States every year.
One does not go out to buy a slim gem.
One is at the store late at night to buy booze.
And it's like, I haven't eaten and I'm to throw up.
I need some fat and protein in my belly.
I just got a case of the beer and a bottle of tequila.
I want to keep drinking.
I could use a slim gem right now.
That's what this product is.
So if I were the slim gem CEO,
I would change the slogan from what the current slogan is,
which is snap into the beefy juicy taste of a slim gem
into slim gem for when you need to stop a motherf***er cool. Nito Green!
And I just want to say, every time I listen to NATO, it's very hard to figure out what
its political beliefs are. Explain what R R R is.
Yes, well, basically something that Prince Charles says when someone walks into a room.
R R R R. He'd an extraordinary thing he said to it. Did you see the amazing bit of Freudian
monarchy he did when Liz Truss came into me to me and he says, back again, dear Odeer.
For once the monarch is genuinely speaking
on behalf of the people of this country.
But what is RRR?
Well, before I explain it, actually,
inspired by the movies like How It's End and Merchant Ivory,
this is in that vein.
It's very subtle, very quiet, very English-candy film.
RRR is a film.
It's an anti-British Empire film.
What do we do wrong?
Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
That's where all the confusion comes from.
And the scene we've just seen, this is the final scene of the movie
where two people fighting the British Empire invade a garden party hosted
by the local governor with an entire zoo.
And which of us haven't done that?
Now there's been a lot of talk about how a gentleman in the spectator wrote an article
saying that it wasn't an accurate portrayal of the British Empire.
There's nothing wrong with that.
We've had inaccurate portrayals of the British Empire for our entire history.
That, they were upset.
I mean, first of all, most of these animals were shot, so they got around to be brought
to a garden party.
So his claim was that the whole point of the film is that there's a governor who was cruel
and sadistic and doing terrible things.
And his point was that you can't have this kind of a thing because it didn't happen,
there were laws, there were systems in place. Now he's trying to find logic in a film where a
man has unleashed an entire zoo. And in a later scene another man is punching a
tiger in the face. We've all done it. So you know there's a debate going on
or whether RRR is and it's in, it might be a nominee for the Oscars
on whether this is an accurate portrayal of Britain in India.
Now, if this is an accurate portrayal of Britain in India,
then my favorite body would film Disco Dancer.
Two Disco Dancers in the audience,
which ends with a disco dancing face-off till death.
It's an accurate portrayal of India in post-Soviet 1980s.
But this debate is raging on, we don't have a winner, but an article was written in the
spectator saying, Governor Scott, who is a bad man who's kidnapping people,
good not have done these things because, you know,
the system of fair play would have come into practice.
And we answered by unleashing a zoo.
I absolutely adore British incredulity
about their own history.
Or you come to the right country.
I, my favorite thing. I've heard
multiple English people say this go, go do you watch all these American films and all the bad guys
have got these English accents. I'm like have you read all books? Have you opened Wikipedia? You Open Wikipedia, you f**ked everyone repeatedly for ages.
Yes, but cricket.
You make an excellent point, sir.
I'll say that.
I agree.
I think the British Empire hasn't gotten the benefit of the doubt.
I've only talked about it on our podcast but I cannot believe in a country
that invented cricket, you can't watch it on free to air TV. Why are we not taking to
the streets? Why are we not angry anymore? Ticket prices for trains are the most expensive
in all of Europe. What the f*** are we doing? Sitting in a theater, going, ah, aren't we, tell? We need to ride it. This is insane. It's insane. Our country is crumbling. We can't
just go, it's really bad, isn't it? Actually, yeah, no, I went and saw a satirical show and yeah, pretty bad. I feel like I've contributed now.
Sorry, but you can't kick me out now.
Sorry.
So.
That brings us to the end of this 15th anniversary
bubble.
Yeah.
Huge thanks from San Francisco, NATO,
Green, and a tiny little box.
And of our pal, Felicity Ward, the wonderful producer Chris, who keeps this thing going.
Thank you for all your support over the years. See you in 15 years time.
Come on!
And he's Osvin! Andy Susman!