The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz) - Day 220: Marriage in the New Covenant
Episode Date: August 8, 2023How is the meaning of marriage different in the New Covenant? The Catechism teaches us today that Christ elevates the gift of marriage to a sacrament and restores the original order of this powerful u...nion between man and woman. Fr. Mike explains why marriage looked different in the Old Covenant and how God was preparing his chosen people throughout time to accept Christ’s law of marriage. Today’s readings are Catechism paragraphs 1609-1617. For the complete reading plan, visit ascensionpress.com/ciy Please note: The Catechism of the Catholic Church contains adult themes that may not be suitable for children - parental discretion is advised.
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Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz and you're listening to the Catechism in a Year Podcast.
Where we encounter God's plan of sheer goodness for us, revealed in Scripture and passed
down to the tradition of the Catholic faith.
The Catechism in a Year is brought to you by Ascension.
In 365 days, we'll read through the Catechism of the Catholic Church discovering our identity
and God's family.
As we journey together toward our Heavenly Home this is day 220, we're reading paragraph 1609 to 1617. As always, I'm using the
ascension edition of the Catechism, which includes the foundations of faith approach, but you can follow
along with any recent version of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. You can also download your own
Catechism and your reading plan by visiting ascensionpress.com slash C-I-Y. Also, you can click follow or
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Thank you so much.
All of you who have supported the production of this podcast,
all of you keep pressing plan day 220.
Please know, I am truly praying for you.
It is day 220 reading paragraph 1609 to 1617.
Yesterday, we started talking about holy matrimony
and God's plan, marriage and
God's plan in the order of creation, this incredible gift of marriage in God's vision was harmony,
right?
And God's vision is life and God's vision is fruitful and God's vision is this mutual relationship
of love and respect and trust and honor and so good.
And then we also hit paragraph 1606 to 1608, and said,
okay, here's what, but what does marriage look like under the regime of sin? Like that's a vision
of marriage from Genesis chapter two. Now what is what is the experience of marriage after Genesis
chapter three? And 1606 said this, every man experiences evil around himself and within himself.
In this relationship makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman.
And that's so true, right?
Every, whether it has to do with marriage, has to do with family, has to do with friendship,
has to do with just business, anybody we encounter, we experience evil around ourselves and within
ourselves. And because of that, we have a new experience of marriage and yet at the same time,
marriage not only has a dignity, but in the Lord, marriage has been elevated to the place of a
sacrament. And that's why we're talking about the seven sacraments in this whole section.
And in Christ, this primordial gift from God to humanity, the gift of marriage, the gift of family,
even though broken has been elevated by Jesus to be a sacrament. Now, at the same time,
marriage existed in the Old Covenant, and yet there has been a development, a pedagogy,
right, on the Old Law, where from the very beginning, it's got me the male and female,
and yet we experience this brokenness.
And so there are times where we look in the Old Testament and we see polygamy.
We look in the Old Testament, we see divorce.
And what does God do about that?
What does Jesus do about that in the New Covenant?
And that's what we're going to talk about today.
So you guys, let's say a prayer to get our hearts and our minds ready for launching into these paragraphs.
We pray, Father in heaven.
We gather. We pray in the name of your Son Jesus Christ. We pray in the power of your Holy Spirit
that the gift you've given to us, the gift of life, the gift of love, because you are love,
you made us in your image and likeness, that these gifts, life and love, that we can embody them
and live them out in our lives
and our relationships.
Lord God, we know that you are everywhere.
You are in healthy relationships.
You are in broken relationships.
You are in healthy people.
You are in broken people.
We know this because you are in our hearts and we are both healthy and broken.
We are both free and bound.
The line of good and evil passes through our hearts and you love our hearts.
So help us, help us to see your plan for marriage in the Bible, to see your
plan for marriage and Christ, to see your plan for marriage in our lives and in
our world. We ask you this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ our Lord, amen.
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, amen.
It is day 220, we are reading paragraphs 16-09-1617.
Marriage under the pedagogy of the law.
In his mercy, God has not forsaken sinful man.
The punishment consqueant upon sin, pain in childbearing and toil in the sweat of your
brow, also in body remedies that and toil in the sweat of your brow,
also in body remedies that limit the damaging effects of sin.
After the fall, marriage helps to overcome a self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one's
own pleasure, and to open oneself to the other, to mutual aid and to self-giving.
Moral conscience concerning the unity and indesolubility of marriage developed under the pedagogy
of the Old Law.
In the Old Testament, the polygamy of patriarchs and kings is not yet explicitly rejected.
Nevertheless, the Law, given to Moses, aims at protecting the wife from arbitrary domination
by the husband, even though according to the Lord's words, it still carries traces of
man's hardness of heart, which was the reason Moses permitted men to divorce their wives.
Seeing God's covenant with Israel in the image of exclusive and faithful married love,
the prophets prepared the chosen people's conscience for a deepened understanding of the unity
and indesolubility of marriage.
The books of Ruth and Tobit bear moving witness to an elevated sense of marriage and to the fidelity and tenderness of spouses.
Tradition is always seen in the song of Solomon, a unique expression of human love. Insofar as it is a reflection of God's love, a love strong as death that many waters cannot quench.
Marriage in the Lord. The nubceral covenant between God and His people Israel had prepared the way for the
new and everlasting covenant in which the Son of God, by becoming incarnate and giving
his life, has united to himself in a certain way all mankind saved by him, thus preparing
for the wedding feast of the Lamb.
On the threshold of his public life, Jesus performs his first sign at his mother's request during
a wedding feast.
The church attaches great importance to Jesus' presence at the wedding at Cana.
She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of marriage and the proclamation that thence
forth marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ's presence.
In his preaching, Jesus unequivocally taught the original meaning
of the union of man and woman as the creator willed it from the beginning. Permission
given by Moses to divorce one's wife was a concession to the hardness of hearts. The
matrimonial union of man and woman is indesoluble. God himself has determined it. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put a sunder.
This unequivocal insistence on the indesolubility of the marriage bond
may have left some perplexed and could seem to be a demand impossible to realize.
However, Jesus has not placed on spouses a burden impossible to bear
or too heavy heavier than the law of Moses.
By coming to restore the original
order of creation, disturbed by sin, he himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the
new dimension of the reign of God. It is by following Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up
their crosses that spouses will be able to receive the original meaning of marriage and live it with
the help of Christ.
This grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ's cross, the source of all Christian
life.
This is what the Apostle Paul makes clear when he says,
Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that
he might sanctify her, adding it once for this reason.
Eman shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one.
This is a great mystery, and I meet it in reference to Christ and the Church.
The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church,
already baptism.
The entry into the people of God is a nub-sual mystery.
It is, so to speak, the nub nuptial bath which precedes the wedding feast,
the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the
covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between
baptized persons is a true sacrament of the new covenant. Okay, there we are, paragraph 1609 to 1617. There's so much to talk about
here today. And one of the first things we're going to talk about is marriage under the
pedagogy of law. Okay, we just had marriage under the regime of sin, right? Paragraphs
1606 to 1608, 1609 starts by saying, in yet, right? And yet in his mercy, God has not
forsaken sinful man. So we ended the last section yesterday,
talking about here are some of the consequences in paragraph 1605 and now here in 1609 of the fall.
And the consequences of the fall in relationship are here's pain and child bearing and here is
toil by the sweat of the brow. Now the catechism makes this so clear. I almost always want to point
this out whenever we read Genesis chapter 3, right, at the story of the fall.
These are not curses given by God to the woman.
You're going to have, you know, pain in childbirth or curses by God, given to the man.
You're going to toil by this word of your brow.
These are remedies because here is the man and the woman and they failed to love.
They chose themselves over choosing the other.
You know, here's Adam.
He's standing there as Eve is eating the fruit of the tree
that there are forbidden teeth.
Here's Adam who's standing there as the serpent
is essentially threatening his bride
and he's doing nothing.
He's choosing himself and here's Eve
who also chooses herself.
And so what happens?
God says, okay, from now on, as often as you love,
it's gonna cost something.
Love from now on is gonna involve sacrifice.
So yes, you will give birth to new life,
to new human beings with bodies and souls,
there'll be in God's image and likeness
and it will be painful.
And you're gonna love this child with everything you have.
And it will be a sacrifice because from now on,
love always involves sacrifice.
Same thing for the man,
you're gonna provide for your family,
you're gonna work hard, you're gonna care for them.
And in that love, it's gonna cost you something.
And that love, it will involve sacrifice.
And that is again, it's meant to not be a punishment,
it not meant to be a curse, it's meant to be a remedy.
What's the remedy?
It helps us overcome self-absorption, right?
Helps us overcome egoism.
How many of us look at our lives
as if we're the star of our own lives,
and then all of a sudden here's this spouse in your life.
Here's a child in your life, or children in your lives,
and you realize, oh, okay, I am not the star.
I am, I am a supporting character here.
Pursuit of one's own pleasure.
The ability helps us, hopefully,
to open ourselves
up to the other. To mutual aid and self-giving. That's at the heart of this. And so, again,
keeping in mind, God's original plan was just this gift of love. Because of the fall,
here is the way we experience this. But also, even in that, what happens, even in the
brokenness of our hearts and brokenness
of our relationships, the point is, the hope is, that we'll still learn how to love. But we
can never forget this. We can never forget that from now on in our broken world, in this world
after original sin, love always demands sacrifice. It always involves sacrifice. This little
note on this before we move forward. I share this with some of our students
over the course of the last number of years.
And one student at one point,
I think a lot of students challenged me
on a lot of the things I say.
And one student at one point challenged me on that
and said, oh yeah, but you know,
it just love having to involve sacrifice
and try to give some reasons.
Like, no, I want to.
Like, I want to, you know, love my boyfriend.
I want to love my fiance.
I want to do all these things.
And the aspect is like, okay, I'm not saying love
is always drudgery.
That's the most big, that clear.
I'm not saying that love isn't also amazing.
That love isn't still an incredible gift
and a sign of God's goodness.
That's still there.
But it always has to still involve sacrifice, for example,
talking to this young woman about her fiance.
Okay, so you love your fiance,
you love spending time with him,
but spending time with him means
that you are sacrificing time you could be doing anything else.
And so that's a sacrifice.
Even if it's a sacrifice you're happy to make,
it's still a sacrifice.
And even the fact of choosing one person
means you're sacrificing everyone else for that role.
Choosing one person to date or one person to marry means everyone else has been sacrificed
in the sense that they're no longer an option.
And so we realize this, the love always involves sacrifice.
Now with that in mind, that when you choose one person, you're excluding everyone else.
Perigraphs 16, 10, 16, 11 highlight the fact that while God's original plan was union
between one man and one woman that lasted
through life in mutual love and support. After the fall, there is this pedagogy that God has to raise
up people and make clearer and clearer that this is marriage between one man and one woman because
you have stories. You guys, you read the Bible, you know that there are kings and patriarchs, even like
some of the great people, the fathers of the faith who had practiced polygamy, and you're saying, wait a second, I thought
I thought you said from the beginning, it was one man, one woman, absolutely it is, but
remember, pedagogy, pedagogy is like the teaching, right?
I always like to think of it in like this, whenever we look at the Old Testament, there's
this thing I remember years ago I studied to get my minor in secondary education.
So I got to take a lot of education courses.
One theory was called the plus one theory of education.
The idea behind this was that a student, if they're at level four, they can understand levels
one, two, three, and four, and you can challenge them, introduce them to level five, just
plus one.
So understand four and below, and then when you're teaching them, they can be invited to level
five.
But someone who's at level four, to all of a sudden talk about level eight, they'd be lost.
So God being a really good teacher, here's this people, these people who are, they're used
to polygamy, right?
The people that they are, they're used to multiple wives, they're used to dominating
each other, they're used to using each other, they're used to just getting by and not seeing
into the other the image and likeness of God. And so what does God do in His pedagogy?
He's reminding them that originally one man and one woman, and they're lives. Now,
they're getting more and more to the place of it still is in this world, one man and one woman.
In fact, the law of Moses talked about this.
The law of Moses would say that essentially, again, plus one theory of education, where
okay, you're at level four.
Level four would say, okay, marriage is maybe a commitment.
It's for your whole life.
But also they'd say, oh, but it involves many women and one guy, like kind of a situation.
Or this one guy married to many individual women. Okay, the plus one theory of education
then would say, okay, but here's the thing. Each woman you're married to is not your property.
Each one you're married to is not subject to your arbitrary domination. She's not your property.
You don't own her. This still has to be at the heart of it has to be this
relationship that is one of trust, one of love, one of respect, one that actually acknowledges the dignity of the spouses, right?
And we look at that and now I'm like, that's ridiculous. And like I get it,
but God was taking a rough people because no one saw human beings as having a dignity on their own.
People easily saw others as simply being property.
And so here's God's plus one theory of education
where he's tolerating polygamy.
He's even tolerating divorce.
Until he can teach that, okay,
but that's not what it was in the beginning
and that's not what it will be from now on.
And that's what brings us to marriage in the Lord.
And this is remarkable.
I don't know if you noticed how many times we use the word either unequivocally or indistulubility.
And Jesus unequivocally taught the original meaning of the union of man and woman as a
creator wielded from the beginning.
That in the beginning, one man, one woman, not anything else.
That's what it's going to be
from here on out. And that's just so clear that Jesus makes that abundantly clear with no compromise.
Again, the unequivocal teaching of this. And Jesus even says, because they challenge Jesus and say,
wait, but Moses permitted a man to give his wife a bill of divorce and dismiss her. And Jesus says,
yeah, he did. Why? Because of the hardness of your
hearts, Moses permitted divorce. But in the beginning, it was not so. And Jesus makes it so clear.
paragraph 1615, it says, this unequivocal insistence on the indosolability of the marriage bond
may have left some perplexed and could seem to be a demand impossible to realize. In fact,
the disciples respond, they say, wait, if that's the truth, then it's better not to marry.
They were so disheartened by this, right?
Like, oh my gosh, if that's the call,
that there's no divorce in the marriage,
because Jesus has says, it makes it very clear.
He says, if you divorce your wife and marry another,
you're committing adultery, because you're already married.
That relationship cannot be dissolved.
Like that marriage is permanent.
It is life long, even if you walk away
or even if the other person walks away.
So what happens is that teaching may have left some perplexed
and could seem to be a demand impossible to realize.
However, and this is so powerful
in the middle of paragraph 1615, it says,
however, Jesus has not placed on spouses
a burden impossible to bear or too heavy.
It's not heavier than the law of Moses.
Why?
Because by coming to restore the original order of creation that Stin is distorted, right?
Jesus Himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the
reign of God.
What's that mean?
One of the many things it means is Jesus did not come to just give us new rules because
that we all know this.
And Christopher West will say this again and again when he quotes the theology of the
body or teaches the theology of the body is that we all know this.
We all know that rules in and of themselves do not change hearts.
Just if there's a rule and Jesus says, oh, here's the new law, here's the new rule,
no divorce. Like, okay, that doesn't change my heart all of a sudden. If Jesus says, you're hurting the old covenant, you should not give me adultery, but I'm saying those of you who
commit adultery in your heart are still guilty. Like, okay, that new rule doesn't change the heart,
but Jesus will change the heart. He doesn't just give new rules. He gives new hearts. And how do we
get those new hearts? Well, it says, it is by following Christ, renouncing ourselves, and taking up our crosses.
That everyone, but in this case, spouses will be able to receive the original meaning of
marriage and live it with the help of Christ.
So it's not just a matter of, okay, I'm going to think holy thoughts.
I'll read my Bible.
I'm going to let Jesus do it for me.
Yes, there's grace.
That grace changes our hearts, but it means we have to cooperate with that grace and
it's very clear what cooperation with grace, part of what cooperation with grace looks
like by following Christ, renouncing ourselves and taking up our crosses.
That gives us the kind of hearts that can love the unlovable.
That gives us the kind of hearts that can love the unlovable. That gives us the kind of hearts that can do the undoable.
That gives us the kind of hearts that can forgive the unforgivable.
And I know that so many people who are listening to this,
this is the situation you're in,
you're in a situation where it's,
how do I even do this?
How do I keep loving my spouse? How do I keep loving my spouse when they're this? How do I keep loving my spouse?
How do I keep loving my spouse when they're here?
How do I keep loving my spouse when they've walked away?
Or maybe as you're listening,
you're like, I'm the one who walked away.
What do I do now?
And the short answer is I don't know.
I'm sorry about that.
The long answer is, well, I do know what to do.
At least in this case, I need to follow Christ.
I need to announce myself.
I need to take up my cross.
And I need to love in whatever way I can.
Listen, I understand this is a high call, especially in a world under the regime of sin,
relationships and hearts that have been broken under the regime of sin.
This is such a high call. And so you can say, Father, you have no idea in you be right. You have no idea what I'm going
through and or what I went through and you would be right. And yet at the same time, I know a couple things. One is, your story isn't over yet. The second thing is, God loves you and
wants to give you the grace to take whatever the next best next step is. What is the good
next step that God's calling you to take? He loves you and he's going to give you that
grace, take that hard step to follow him, to renounce yourself, to stick up your cross.
And I also know that we're united.
Go all the way back to baptism.
Remember, in baptism, we were made in not only God's sons and daughters,
we were made into a family with each other as well.
And in this family, we're all broken.
In this family, we are all in need,
in this family, we all need each other.
And so I would say that it doesn't solve any problems, but it does matter.
Just to say that, hey, I'm here with you, I'm praying for you.
It doesn't necessarily solve any problems, but I think it does matter.
Because per matters and you matter.
And as we continue to talk tomorrow, we're talking about the virginity for the sake of the
kingdom.
It's a whole nother.
We're going to kind of take a left turn for a little bit, but we're also going to realize
that we're the body of Christ, we're the family of God and God loves you.
Whatever your story is, it's not over yet.
God loves you as you are. He loves me as I am, but
He loves us too much to let us stay where we are and stay as we are. And you matter.
And you're part of this family because of that. I know it doesn't fix everything, but
it does matter. I am praying for you. Please pray for me. My name is Father Mike. I cannot
wait to see you tomorrow. God bless.