The Commercial Break - 12 Days Of TCB: Spirits, Enter Me!

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

 Episode #664:  Donate to St. Jude, The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, the ASPCA and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence The Bluey Movie Pokémon & Pastors Righteous Gemstones The spiral famously stands for male fertility Duck bill drama Hook 'em Satan horns Wizards of the coast Murderous rage A 10-12 year long DND game The ghoul! Spirits, enter me Pikachu’s devilish tail Ass Catchem Pokémon fanfic Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Shop now at Sephora and Sephora at Kohl's. Hey, Chrissy. Best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe and happy holidays. Sometimes podcasts like ours will take off a lot of time during the holidays, but not us. We're gluttons for punishment.

So we have the 12 days of TCB coming at you, December 13th through the 25th, brand new episodes every single day and live fresh episodes during the entire holiday season. As the great Clark Griswold once said, Holy shit, where's the Tylenol? Find it quick and join us this entire holiday season for brand new episodes of The Commercial Break. Hello, is this Jesus? No, this is Patrick.

The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. There was more than one monster present at the birth of Jesus. Oh yeah, Dancers and Prancers, welcome back to the 12 Days of TCB. I'm Brian Green. This is Kristen Joy Hoadley, also known as Mrs. Claus. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Mr. Claus is probably at home in his little Santa Claus apron with his ass cheeks hanging out, flipping some Yakkas for breakfast, some flapjacks. Indeed. Chrissy, there's great excitement around the Green Household, and I'll explain why. And any, by the way... Santa's coming! Santa is not coming. Well, Santa is coming. Oh, he's not coming. Santa's coming. Santa's coming.

No Christmas for you kids. I know. No, you little shits. Santa's coming for the kids Santa's coming I know no you little shit Santa's coming for the kids but not for blue no no no no no no no actually we don't we stopped getting blue treats for Christmas because it's very expensive and does the dog really fucking know the difference honestly no she'll get to run in the wrapping paper and bark at us while we're doing it there's a lot of excitement in the greenhouse old because, as we're recording this yesterday, Disney and BBC have announced they will in fact be making the seminal cartoon that is taking

the world by storm, Bluey, into a full-length feature film and everybody is on board. The guy who makes the music, which is wonderful, all of the character voices and the original creator is going to write the story. Two hours of Bluey and one contiguous sitting. I cannot fucking wait. Because for those of you who have never watched Bluey, and I'll explain something in one second about how this is one of the most talked about topics about TCB, at least locally here where I am. Bluey is really 12 minute episodes. They're so cute.

Yeah, they're 12 minute episodes and then they run two of them back to back with a commercial in between. So the episodes are really short and they, matter of fact, they have a few special episodes that are 30 minutes long, but some of these stories you know they could get more running room out of and make you cry even more than you already do at Fucking Bluey. Where I live, when people find out that we do the commercial breaks, obviously they want to go listen. They want to know more about it.

So some of the children that the kids go to school with, their parents have obviously found out through the Gravevine that the commercial break exists. That makes me highly embarrassed to go to any function where parents are. Yes, I get very anxious about going to functions, especially people that I don't know. I know they're looking at me, and most of them with a look of disdain,

how could they let that man and his children in my school? But you know what, it is what it is. It is, we have to embrace it after all this time. It took a while, but we have to. Yes, listen, I do embrace it. It's five years in, it's something that I do. I'm not as embarrassed as I used to be, but I do still get a red face when people ask.

Yeah, I do wanna crawl in a hole and die. Every time I go to a function, like a birthday party, and someone asks me what I do, I say I'm in advertising sales. And then they say, what does that mean? And then by like the fifth question, I'll go, well, we're content creators. And then they go, oh, so you're like, what? And I'm like, oh, it's a pod.

What's the name of the podcast? I'll look it up right now. Every time. Fuck you. Actually, most parents are really cool about it. Most of the people, most parents are really cool about it. Most of the people that we know are really cool about it. And one of the things I have heard most often from people who like the show

and then end up listening to it is this, especially if they have kids, I started watching Bluey because of you, Brian, and now I like it. I've heard this four or five times. And that makes me proud that the commercial break has done one fucking good deed in its entire life. Do it in your part.

Bluey is such a great cartoon. It is. For adults and for children. The lessons are not, they don't beat you up over the head with the lessons, but they're life lessons that everybody needs to learn. And the reason why Bluey- It's a fun show too. It's fun. It's not just about the lessons, but they make it fun.

The music is fantastic. Yeah, they dance around, the little family is so cute. It's really funny. The dad is wonderful, the mom is wonderful. They're dogs, they're Wheeler dogs from Australia. And the reason why I think the cartoon hits me in the soft spot is because the lessons are lessons you should learn as a child, but you need to relearn as an adult.

You need to remember. Yes, you need to remember as an adult. And they do it in a way that's so creative and so fantastic. If you're an adult, even without children, and you sit and watch a couple episodes of Bluey, and you don't end up at least saying, it's not a bad cartoon, then fuck you. Honestly, fuck you.

Okay, Bluey is fantastic. And I'm so excited they're going to make a two hour movie. By the time it comes out, my children will have long since grown out of Bluey. But you know what? What are we going to do? And I think we can all agree Bluey is generally wholesome, right? Yeah. It's generally wholesome. You know what's not wholesome, Chrissy? Pokemon cards. Pokemon cards are not wholesome.

Okay. And there are many people. You know what Pokemon stands for? Pokemonster. Isn't that what it stands for? Pokemonster? I'm looking at Christina like she should know about Pokemon. Isn't that what it stands for?

Pokemonster? I don't know. I think that's what it stands for. What does Pokemon stand for? Stand for? Pocket, stand for? Pocket Monster. Poke- Poke Monster. You know what it stands for?

Poke Monster. Poke-you Monster. The little Poke Monster. Ring the bell. Yes. Ring the bell. Crawl up your ass and ring that bell. So for years, I have watched bits and pieces of a video. One of the things that

we love to talk about here on the commercial break are pastors, especially TV preachers, the guys who get up there, they take your money, they give you nothing in return except for bad advice and wisdom about 3,000-year-old texts. And it's just a scam that never stops coming. It's cult after cult, bullshit after bullshit, take your money after take your money. And listen, let me remind you, we are not anti-religion. Religion can do a lot of good. And there are a lot of, a lot of the tenants of most of the religions are good tenants to have. Do unto others as you want them to you. Treat others with kindness and respect. Don't murder people. Don't sleep

with your wife. You know, Ten Commandments has got some good news in there. But the truth is, is that most preachers bastardize these things for their own profit and your loss. That's how it works. They're going to get you every time. They get you coming and they get you going. And one of my favorite things to do is to watch these hypocritical sons of bitches tell us what's good and bad to do, to read, to look at, to any of it. I just, it's one of my- Praise Jesus. Praise Jesus indeed.

This video we're about to watch is pretty famous on the internet. It is a TV evangelist who took Pokemon cards and made them into a satanic ritual. He said that it's a satanic ritual and they are imported from Japan and kids are being taught about the devil through Pokemon cards, and he literally goes on a 30-minute diatribe about this. I want to get to as much of this video as I possibly can, so I want to do this. I know there's gonna be a quick flip around, but I'm gonna take a short break, and when we take that short break we're gonna come back and we'll do an extended couple of segments here on this

very famous internet video where the preacher will tell us how bad Pokemon is and all the reasons why. While we're at it, four of the five charities that we want to focus on during the 12 days of TCB have already been talked about and I want to remind you of those and then we'll get to the fifth charity on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The National Breast Cancer Coalition Fund, St. Jude Research Hospital, ASPCA and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation

Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation Foundation This work that they're doing is God's work. Research for breast cancer and help for people who can't pay for care. Getting women out of abusive situations and their children to safety and then teaching

them, giving them the tools and the resources to get out there in the world and live a life without abuse under the guise of controlling an abusive behavior. Saving animals from controlling an abusive behavior and when people give their dogs up because they decided I don't really need a dog You know as much as I complain about blue She's still fucking here getting a meal every month every day and every night every month Once a month I feed the dog and then st. Jude's research hospital, which I really think does honestly angels work Yes, they provide cancer care to children that otherwise could

not afford it, and they do not charge a dime. One of those four charities, we're going to put a link to all four of them today inside of the show notes. If you would be so kind as to give a dollar, $5, whatever you can afford, this is when they make the most money, this is when they raise the most money this time of year, and so we're just shining a light on these charities. They have no idea we're doing this, and the links go directly to their website, because if they did, they'd probably say no thanks. Those links go directly to those websites where you can donate, and we don't get in the middle of it. You just go there and you donate. And if you send a screenshot to us

of one of those donations or of you donating donating whatever it is, we will certainly be happy to send you some free TCB swag. Like a sticker I picked up from the Mempho ground. So many years ago. So awesome. All right. Let's take a short break. Quick flip here and then we'll be back with Pokemon and Satanism. Perfect. That's a weird transition. What do you mean you don't know our phone number?

I only tell it to you twice a day, four times a week. Fine. If you insist, I will tell it to you again. It's 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. And don't you forget it. Now, in case you can't remember, our Instagram handle is at the commercial break. A tough one, I know.

And our TikTok handle is at TCBpodcast. And don't forget to subscribe to our channel. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter. And don't forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Twitter. And don't forget to follow us Now, in case you can't remember, our Instagram handle is at the commercial break, a tough one, I know,

and our TikTok handle is at TCB Podcast, and that one is the same as our website, tcbpodcast.com. And one last thing, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for all of our video episodes. Got it? Good. Bet MGM is an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League Got it? Good. your favorite game, your favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite favorite game, your favorite

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until the end of 2025. Lower fees means you can keep more of your money where it belongs, in your account. Don't wait! Opening an account is quick and easy. Switch to Quest Wealth Portfolios today and keep more of your money. Conditions apply. All right, this preacher has a problem with Pokemon, Chrissy, because, you know, Pokemonsters, the little Poke Poke Monsters, pocket monsters have come from Japan. They are doing the devil's work. We'll let him explain all of this.

But this is a very famous video that's been going around the Internet for probably about 10 years. Let's hit screen record and then we'll, uh, you never seen this video? I don't think so. Well, Chrissy, there's, it doesn't say much. I love you, but that doesn't really say much. I don't go down dark rabbit holes. Oh, this isn't even a dark rabbit hole. It's a pretty wide open hole. For any of you out there, listeners that have watched the righteous gemstones on HBO, they had to have modeled the firstborn son, I can't remember his name on there, but after this guy. Listen, I have never seen, remember we talked about the two Jareds?

Remember the Jared Freigels or Freigels or whatever they were, Freibels? This guy and what's his name that plays the, I can't remember who plays the guy in the Righteous Genstands. Kenny Powers, yeah. I forget his actor name. He looks exactly like this guy. Exactly.

We are looking at the screen. They had to have modeled. I mean, it's a 100%. Full blown mullet. He was in Eastbound and Down. What was his name, Christina? God, when you say it, I'm gonna remember it. Sorry.

He's a- Danny McBride. Danny McBride, that's Sorry. Danny McBride. Danny McBride. Danny McBride. Danny McBride. Danny McBride. He's a great actor. Great actor. The comedic actor. Yeah. This guy looks exactly like Danny McBride. Mullet and all.

I mean, this is a likeness. All right. Let's listen to what he has to say. And some things have a big impact on us and some things don't. Wow, he even talks like Danny McBride. He does. They had to have modeled that character after him. I can't think of anything that come over from the Orient that actually had a big impact

or a phenomenon type craze other than Godzilla. Godzilla? Since when did Godzilla have a craze? Would anyone go crazy over Godzilla? No. Did you go crazy over Godzilla? No, but… There is something new that's come over to the United States and has actually captured the minds and the imagination of every single child.

As he pulls it out of a black briefcase. What is this guy, carrying drugs? And you know what? It's not new at all. Japanese kids have been watching this thing since 1995. It started out as a cartoon, went to a comic book. They made it into a video game. They made you into an HBO television show. The toys, collectible card game. Now, praise God, there's even a movie on it.

Jared Sussman Praise God. Pete Slauson And it was started in 1995. It's not new, but it's new to kids and they're eating it up. Jared Sussman Am I correct in saying that this guy is about to put pictures on a projector that your seventh grade science teacher used? Pete Slauson Oh, yes. Yes, I remember that projector. Jared Sussman We have technology now, bro. And it's called Pokemon.

Pokemon. And it stands for pocket monster. As we now know. Brian didn't even know that. And it even made the cover of Time Magazine. Now, the first thing I want you to notice is, do you notice any symbol up there that you've seen before? The swirly, whirly, twirly.

What? No, it's a, what is, I mean, it's a maze? They're showing a time. Yeah, they're showing a time cover with four or five Pokemon on the front of it, big letters Pokemon. And then one of the Pokemon has a spiral in the middle of it. And I don't think that's a- Like the googly eye, the letters, Pokemon. And then one of the Pokemon has a spiral in the middle of it.

And I don't think that's a- Like the googly eye, the hypnotic eyes. The spiral. And it stands for what? Male fertility. Snails? Male fertility? Since when does this spiral stand for male fertility?

Wow. Jeff and I should get matching spirals on our balls. I know, I can't believe we haven't heard about this at the 21 convention. Oh, there's an audience here. In all the years that I've seen clips of this, I never noticed there's an audience there. Wow. You actually got in your car and you drove to a TV studio where you watched this guy with his little projector and his prophecy club in the background and his four house plants sitting in front of him. I know. I was trying to figure out if that was the glare. Okay. Those are plants. projector and his prophecy club in the background and his four house plants sitting in front

of him. I know, I was trying to figure out if that was the glare. Okay. Those are plants. Those are plants. Okay. Now, this thing is actually called Polywhirl, but they actually had another name for it before they renamed it.

It was called Penis! Creature first came out, it was called Hypno, and they changed it to Polywhirl to make it a little more innocent. But you see what it actually does. As if Hypno wasn't innocent. Listen, just because you put a spiral on something doesn't mean kids are going to get hypnotized. It's supposed to be able to mesmerize. Do you think this guy is the most miserable son of a bitch at family gatherings or what?

Oh yeah, for sure. The turkey legs are spread open, showing it's turkey pussy everywhere. It's the devil's work. Hypnotize its enemies. And you can see how that would happen. That starts spinning around and it's just like one of those hypnotic wheels that they use to hypnotize. And you see up here in the top-

You know it's hypnotizing. Which no one uses to hypnotize. And you see up here in the top. You know it's hypnotizing. Which no one uses to hypnotize. Yeah, you know what's hypnotizing is the crimp in your hair. It really is. You had to actually do that. There's a spiral in there. Yeah, ooh.

Here's a creature, an alligator type creature over here, dragon, kind of a funny duck build thing down here. And this is an interesting character over here. Nothing tells kids to murder and rape like a duck-billed thingy over here. Character over here is called Mewtwo. And Mewtwo looks like an alien. If you look at him real carefully, he looks like an alien.

But you know, the first thing that I noticed about that thing is, He seems like an angel. He's Bono in Mewtwo. I looked at it, and I looked at those eyes. I said, you know what? That kind of looks like the things that we used to pray to inside that circle. What?

Oh, he used to be a Satanist, by the way. Oh, okay. Notice that he has a particular salute. I probably shouldn't have left that part out. His former Satanist turned prophet. …is given. And he's in this pose. Every time that you see Mewtwo, he's in this pose.

Now, he has three fingers. That's because it's a fucking card, you dumb shit. What do you think is going to change? Is it going to morph into something else? And those three fingers are always sticking out like that. Now, he doesn't have five fingers like we do. He has three. But if they were the three...

Which means he's two less, Chrissy. He can ring your bell with one slap of the hand. Bing bong! Make a jizz all over yourself. Mew two. On us. Should be called poo two. That's right up your bum. Be this. The devil's horns. Yeah, he's sticking the two devil's horns up. Or hook them horns. It doesn't mean hook them horns. Doesn't mean I love you. Doesn't mean one more. It means hail Satan. One more? How would that mean one more?, doesn't mean I love you, doesn't mean one more, it means hail Satan.

One more? How would that mean one more? It doesn't mean hail Satan. How does this mean one more? This means two. It doesn't mean one plus one. It doesn't mean two fingers. I'll have one more. Yeah, one more. Hey, waiter, one more. Did you mean two? No, one more! It's the universal sign for one more. No, this is the universal sign for one more. One finger, not this. This means two more. … that all Satanists identify themselves with. And it says here…

Wow, they got a stadium full of Satanists every Saturday afternoon in Texas. College station. Here, it says, for many kids, it's now an addiction. Very much so. Cards, video games, toys, a new movie. Very much so. Is it bad for them? What we need to look at is whether or not that particular statement holds true.

What we need to look at is which editor at time decided they would waste an entire cover on Pokemon and is it good for our children? Is it bad for them? Here's one of the characters. Dude, we had She-Ra when we were a kid. Yeah. Is anybody taking a look at She-Ra? Yeah, She-Ra was wearing a thong with her boobs sticking out, running around murdering people.

Cute little one. Everybody, okay, everybody go, oh, come on. I know, I know you wanted to do that, see? That's why I did that. He's cute. Kirsten You're going to hell! Pete Slauson Yeah, he's cute, but he will set your children on fire! Kirsten laughs Pete Slauson This little tail back here is the secret symbol,

you know what this means? It doesn't mean ziggy-zaggy. It means drink Satan's juice and have sex unprotected. Noticed about him right off. This is Pikachu. One thing I noticed about him right off was his tail. What? I told you. It's a lightning bolt.

Oh, yeah. And it's a satanic Z. It even comes down here to a point. To say, Tannic Z? It doesn't even look like a Z, let alone to say, Tannic Z. Just by looking at him enough, alone, is not enough to really be able to say, okay, yeah, that's bad, or that's Satanic. What we first need to do is we need to look at… What we first need to do is go fucking crazy, and then we can look at him and determine

he's Satan. The actual production of these things. And the first thing we need to do is we need to look at who actually produced the trading card game that has captured the minds and the imaginations of our children. Now, it doesn't make any difference what I say. It's what their own material says, because their own material will give them away Okay, so I'm gonna read to you. Okay. Here we go. Here we go conspiracy theories abound Here's the direct quote from the web pages of the producer of this game Listen to this the Pokemon trading card game is a new collectible card game that is made and distributed by wizards of the coast

What is a wizard? Wizards of the Coast. Male practitioner of black magic. Wizards of the Coast. Wizards of the Coast, the same company that made the best selling game, Magic the Gathering. Oh God, the Magic the Gathering and Pokemon, that's a double satanic strike right there. Magic the Gathering is a heavily- But I don't know, Wizards of the Coast, they sound like they're kind of cool. They do.

They did. You want to go down and burn some goats or something? Coastal wizards. That's right. Hey, brother, what's up? I'm going to roll a fatty and then I'm going to go down and murder some chickens. One more, bro. One more.

Holt Lace trading card game, which has been very popular in the 90s. And I should also tell you that Witches of the Coast also owns an subsidiary company named TSR. And TSR is the company that puts out all Dungeons and Dragons material. Dun dun dun dun! Boom. I feel like this guy should have a board. Like that Always Sunny in Philadelphia guy where he's connecting the dots. So let's look at... Yeah, you want to know why? Because you have to sell 1,000,007 Dungeon & Dragons sets to make a fucking dollar.

So they have to get all the, you know, they conglomerate like this. Magic, the gathering, because... There's one of my children running down the hallway chasing Pokemon, Pokemonsters. This is the same company that puts out Pokemon. Poke-Tuna Monsters, that's what she's running down there. It's like evidence number one. So, let's see where they're coming from. Exhibit A.

Now, from seeing the symbols, your actual discernment should now begin to be sharpened. How many see a circle? That's an oval, my brother. How many see a pentagram? They're showing a Magic the Trading cards or Magic the Game. They're showing the actual logo, the box that you would get. If you look, there it is. See that?

See that? It's a circle. You see that? You see that circle, Chrissy? He could at least have a pointer. Yes. Now this doesn't mean circle or circle or circle. This means kill your mother and father. That's what that means. Obviously. Jared Sussman When I used to pray to the devil back in the

day before I had this haircut, I'm telling you right now, at the time I saw a circle, murderous rage, murderous rage. Pete Slauson Magic the Gathering. This is a role playing game. Now, parents, in case you don't know what that is, that means- It means you play a role. Oh, the parents know what role-playing means. That's right, that's right.

It doesn't mean you roll a doobie. It doesn't mean we're rolling down a hill. It means murder your parents. That your child actually becomes a character in the game, actually becomes a part of the game. And that's what makes it exciting is there's not many games out there that they can actually become a part of. How do I have a, like, I just have a sneaking suspicion that our friend here, not only was

he a former Satanist, but he played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons and Magic the Gathering. They can play it, but they don't actually become a part of it. In this particular game, they actually do become a character in the game. And remember it said that it's an occult game. One of the dangers of this thing is being a role playing game. When did it say it's an occult game? No, they did not say that. I never read that in the…

In the instructions. Yeah, then again, I never owned a Magic the Gathering card deck. I was too busy watching Oprah and Love Connect. Yes. Is that it's played with the mind. How many know that the mind is a very fragile thing? I think your mind is fragile. He's like a Dr. Phil.

And what happens is, in these role playing games, I'm going to use the example of Dungeons and Dragons because TSR is the one that puts out all their material. The danger of Dungeons and Dragons or any kind of role-playing game like this is that it's played with the mind and when played with the mind, the mind begins to lose that fine line with what's real and what's fantasy. And the more you get into the fantasy world, the more it seems real.

Kind of like religion. And all of a sudden now, you don't know what's real and what's not. In Dungeons and Dragons, this is a game played by three or four people. And what you do is you have- Who is moving all over the place here. What happened to the Pokemons?

Yeah, I don't know. One particular person, this is a dungeon master, and he sets all the rules up for this thing. And then in your mind, you actually fight battles. You go through mazes, you go through dungeons, and you actually fight wars with evil wizards, dragons, demons, power- And then you end up in some stranger's basement, chained to the wall, urinating on yourself

while asking for another. That's right. Poor, satanic beings. It's all in the mind. And I mean, if you've got a vivid imagination, you can have one heck of a game. And what happens is, is that you can play this game. Bob, can you bring up footage of my 1988 three-day long game with Teddy, Todd, and Chad? For 10 to 12 years. Because the object is, as long as your character is alive.

10 to 12 years? One game? One game? One game? Now, I have never been into Dungeons & Dragons. Don't know how to play it, don't know the first thing about it. I have had a few, a few friends who have been into it. I don't remember them playing for years.

I remember a game lasting like a day or something, you know, like an afternoon. It can last for months. Can it really? Yeah, it can last for months. Do you have friends that play this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I know it can last for months. I've played something similar, but it was what they call a a one shot, which is like you do it in one night.

Oh, sounds like something digestible. I've done that, but no, it can go on and on for a really long time, but 10 to 12 years feels a little excessive. Yeah, this is, I think this guy is exaggerating. Just a smidge. Five, you're in the game. Once your character dies or gets killed in that particular game, you're out. So you can imagine that if a person loses touch with reality and now they've actually become that character, guess what?

Anything that happens to that character now happens to them. And there's overwhelming- Why did you become the character? I've been frozen by three ice spells. People aren't able to separate? Sorry, Chrissy, I can't talk right now. I'm frozen by an ice spell. A number three ice spells. People aren't able to separate? Sorry, Chrissy, I can't talk right now. I'm frozen by an ice spell. A number three ice spell.

Evidence, psychiatrists and psychologists both tell us there's overwhelming evidence showing that a lot of teenage suicides that are caused by Dungeons and Dragons are caused because the player has finally lost touch with reality. Wait a second, hold on. There is a study that has been done out there?

This guy is quoting a study of psychiatrists and psychologists that did a study on suicides that happened because of Dungeons and Dragons. Wow, okay, all right. Well listen, I can understand that, but the mind is fragile in so many different ways. Like it could be Dungeons and Dragons, Some say it was heavy metal music. Other people say it's video games. A third person might say it's movies. Is this true that there is an actual study done? It is not. So, it says, multiple studies have found no link between Dungeons and Dragons and suicide,

including research by the American Association of Suicidology. I didn't know that word. Suicidology. Didn't know that word. The US Center for Disease Control and Prevention, CDC, and Health and Welfare Canada. But in the 1980s, there was a widespread conspiracy theory that Dungeons and Dragons was linked to murder and suicide. Of course there was. But this guy's clearly part of it. Well, this guy carried satanic panic on into the 2000s,

apparently, with his projector and his black on black on black suit, by the way. Not a great rip for anybody. Horrible tie. I know. And what's happened to them now, they actually feel a psychic bond with that character. And so the character gets killed off

and no longer in the game. You have no purpose, because all your purpose was for the last 10 to 12 years was playing Dungeons and Dragons. So your character gets knocked off. Guess what? So do you. So let's go back to Magic the Gathering. Here's one of the cards.

Yeah, isn't he cute? This is Kabal Ghul. It's a skeleton. Guy, come on. Ghul, Kabal Gool. It's a skeleton guy. Come on. Gool Kabal Gool. Yeah, listen, I mean, back in Satanic panic days, back in the 80s, there really was Satanic panic.

Everybody was murdering, you know, goats and kids and, you know, kids were getting, because of Twisted Sister. People thought Twisted Sister was Satanic. It was a bunch of guys running around with makeup on. How was that satanic? Yeah. Now, like when you get into Metallica and stuff like that, some of their earlier albums, all of this imagery has been used wisely to market the music, to make the music, and to

shed light on the tone of the music that you're listening to. I was into Metallica for a long time. They certainly deal with dark themes, no doubt about it, but it didn't make me go fucking crazy. I like the music. I like the way they played. Now, you notice that there's... I like when they told me to go in the backyard and sacrifice small animals. Right, what was that? That was the Metallica thing, right? What's that? That was the Metallica thing, right? Yes, it was. It was Metallica Master. Master! Master! Stands for two points. And it says, cabal ghoul. Now, in case you don't know what a ghoul is,

it's a dead, rotting, decaying thing that's been in the ground. In case you don't know what a ghoul is. Who are these people he's talking to? From a different universe. I know. And magically summoned back to life. So you have a walking dead thing and that's what a ghoul is. Merry Christmas everybody. In this particular thing it says at the end of each turn.

Oh my God, only on TCB. Santa, otherwise known as Satan. Yes, otherwise known as Satan. Yes, otherwise known as Satan. Put a one plus one counter on the ball and you get a creature that died during the turn and was not regenerated. In other words, you have cards that'll actually keep your character alive for a certain amount of time. And the ghoul kills them.

Yeah, is this guy giving a Satan net, talking about Satan, or is he telling people how to play Magic the Gathering? Because I'm not sure what he's doing. Here's another interesting card. You were making fun of me earlier for not watching. There's a very good reason I've never seen this. Well, there's probably a very good reason why I've never watched the whole thing either.

This guy is totally confusing me. I have no idea what he's saying. We started with Pokemon, we went backwards to Dungeons and Dragons, now we're on to Magic the Gathering. And the ghoul. And the ghoul, the Kabul ghoul. Because it's called- The Kabul ghoul. All Halloween's Eve. The All Hallows Eve card. Again, this is all in magic.

Magic the Gathering. By the way, there was a news clip that I read about two weeks ago that spoke of a young boy in Maine. I don't remember what the town was, but it was in Maine. And he came home one day and asked his mother about Magic the Gathering and said that the teacher had decided to use Magic the Gathering, this card game, as a new and exciting way to teach mathematics in school, in their class. Mommy, we're drinking rooster blood. Having one more.

The teacher said, one more cup of rooster blood. Do you know about Magic the Gathering? And they even formed what was called a magic club and that all the kids were part of this magic club. Well, the mother said, well, you're not going to be part of that. You're not going to be in that. But one of the kids had given him one of the cards and that card he showed to his mother and that card was called Necromancer. Jared Necromancer! Pete Okay.

Jared Is that true? There's a necrophiliac in Magic the Gathering? Because if that's true, then maybe that's taking it a smidge too far for the young kids. I mean, I'm not against Magic the Gathering, but if you're dealing with terms like, you know, necrophiliac? Necromancer? Yeah, necromancer, not necrophiliac. Very different. Necromancer.

I think that person can… Like a vampire, right? So when necromancy enters, if it's on the battlefield, it becomes an aura with enchant creature put onto the battlefield with necromancy. Oh, listen, a little necromancy doesn't hurt anybody. Necromancing does hurt people that are currently dead and being screwed by somebody else. That's necromancing. Okay, let's take a break.

We're going to get back to lots of Pokemon Satanism magic to gather. I'm not sure where we're going with this, but you know what? I don't know. Yeah. I'm having fun watching it nonetheless. Stay along for the ride. Stay along for the ride. Stay along for the ride. Merry Christmas.

Put on another log on the fire. As you run up to wrapping Santa's gifts for your kids, just remember they're probably going to murder you in a rage if you give them Pokemon cards. All right, donate to our charities. We'll be back. Hi. You know what time it is, so let's get to it.

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Choose one of five eligible charities, up to $500,000 in total contributions. All right, and we're back with our preachy pastor buddy here from the Prophecy Club, telling us all about the satanic panic that happened around, apparently around him with Pokemon, Magic the Gathering, and what was the other one? Dungeons and Dragons, that's right. And on that card, it showed spiritual beings actually being risen up out of the ground, out of their grave. And then he asked his mother, what does summon mean? And she said, why do you ask that?

And she said, he told me, he told me, daddy told me he got a summons from you to be in court tomorrow. He said, because all the kids on recess go outside on the school grounds, pick up huge sticks, wave them in the air and say, spirits, enter me. Spirits enter me? Sticks. That is a Tuesday night at the Hoadley house. They also go outside, pick up sticks and say, spirits, enter me. And then they do.

With a little Sprite, maybe some Coca-Cola. Chrissy, what is that? and say, spirits, enter me. And then they do. With a little Sprite, maybe some Coca-Cola. Chrissy, what is that? And you say, spirits, enter me. And all of a sudden, the margarita's going down your throat. True. True. This is all Howls Eve. Again, two points symbolized by two skulls.

Here's your Damani. Are you teaching us how to play or telling us to stay away from it, dude. Black cat. I guess it's a black cat. I've never seen anything look like that. It's a bear, you're joking. There's your demon in the middle, jack-o-lantern, full moon. Mount monster is the thing. And it says, this card is called sorcery. Sorcery comes from the Greek word pharmakeia.

It's where we get the word pharmaceutical. In occultism, it's witchcraft through drugs. Sorcery. Ed says, wait a second, that smells like horse shit to me. That really smells like, pharmacia? I think he's reaching. Yeah, I think he's reaching. I think that's a newspaper article he just made up. Listen, this is before the internet when you could actually fact check anything, so people probably just believed it.

They want to believe it. Put two counters on this card. Remove a counter during your upkeep, and when you remove the last counter from All Hallows Eve, all players take all creatures from their graveyards and put them directly into play. Treat these creatures as though they were just summoned. You choose what order they come into play.

So you know, the mind is a very terrible thing. It's very fragile. So what I've read an article, Chrissy, about, I don't know, must have been about four weeks ago. Can't remember the name of the newspaper, but it said that a young man came home with half decomposed bodies in his hand and said, mommy, did you know I got these from the graveyard? It all came from this card. And again, this is a role playing game. Remember. I mean, those people that are in the audience, they're.

Yeah. Well, first of all, they look like they're sleeping. I would be, I would be. I think they probably, this is probably a paid public access audience. I should not wonder why. Here you see that is a little, uh, he's showing another card. And it's a guy in a jean shorts, it looks like, praying over a fire with demons on the side of him. Man kneeling and look, he's forming with his hands the triangle,

right there. He's kneeling in front of a flame. There are the crescent moons behind him. Over here can only be demons. Hellfire all around here is called the magician. And these are collectible cards. He knows a lot about all of it. Well, because he's played it, you know that this is a reformed magic to gathering addict right here. That one day your child may come home with

or may know of a student that has given him some of these cards, now you will know what they are. I'm empowering you to take those away from your children because nothing says do it like taking it away from them. Right. Back to Pokemon because now we've already established that the same company that puts out that game and puts out Dungeons and Dragons puts out cute little Pokemon. Isn't that interesting? Cute little innocent Pokemon. Chrissy, I read an article, must have been about three weeks ago, where a young man took a Pokemon card and sliced up his dog and ate him for dinner.

And then he said, Mommy, have you heard of slice him up? It's a cute little animal on Pokemon where you slice up your dog and you eat him. True, it's true, it's all true. Now before we go any further, I want to see that if we as a group can agree on something. So I need a little audience participation here to say yes or no. Okay? Are you into that? Yes. Oh, I'm into audience participation, to say yes or no. Okay? Are you into that? Yes.

Oh, I'm into audience participation, big boy. Listen to me carefully. If we examine the characters of this particular program, and they are the kind of role models that we want... They're showing a Pokemon. I mean, the most innocent Pokemon like card you've ever seen in your entire life. We want our kids to be watching. In other words, if this whole game, the characters of this game, the monsters, this whole premise

of this thing actually goes to establish the kind of values, the kind of standards, and the kind of morals that we want our kids to have when they reach adulthood, that it's okay. In other words, if they actually help to establish the kind of morals, values, and standards that we want our children or our grandchildren to have when they get to be an adult, that it must be all right. Can we agree on that?

Okay. Yes, tell me more, doctor. What we need to do is we need to examine and see what kind of role models we have in this game. Now, what we need to do then... Listen, I don't have time for all this bullshit. Could you just come to my house and smack my kids around for me? I'm gonna go O again. Oh, I know, he's cute, isn't he?

Little satanic tail. Little satanic tail? He's adorable, isn't he? Murderous little fucknut. Can I just pay you to come to my house and make my kids' life miserable? Is that possible? Here is the Pokemon ball. That's this thing here. And inside of that, you catch the Pokemon.

Let the camera get a view of that. That's the Pokemon ball, and you actually catch the monster. I bought this on eBay for $675. No one touch it. They can't get finger finger. What he was preaching here really worked because today, Pokemon has been eradicated. Yeah, Pokemon, no more.

No one plays it. No one plays it. No one plays Pokemon. Inside of that thing and harness the power in there. And then you can call on that power to regenerate itself outside of that ball. And praise God, it turns into a bigger and better monster. Praise Jesus. I summon you, spirits, enter my Pokemon balls

and grow bigger! Now we're told that there are 150 species of these particular creatures on the face of the earth. And we're also told in the material that these pocket monsters are creatures that inhabit the world with humans. And… We're also told to stone to death men who lay with men in the Bible, you jackhole. We don't run around doing that.

That they can evolve and grow in bigger and better creatures. Now, the object of this game is gotta catch them all. And they tell you that if you catch them all you become a Pokemon master Listen parents that word master will appeal to any child Because they can become a somebody they can become a master and you know what if you're the master of something Oh, there's one master that really got me as a child, but it just started with the word master. And I'm telling you what, every young boy will get there eventually.

You don't need mom. You don't need dad. You don't need grandparents. No, I actually like to stay on the other side of the house. If you don't mind. Aye, aye, aye. You don't need aunts and uncles. You don't need an aunt and uncles. You don't need school, and you probably don't even need a church.

Well, in Brian's case, the church was a great place for masters. No, that's right. Because you're a master. You can become a god. That's the premise of what this has been teaching. Yeah, that's exactly what Pokemon's teaching be your own God You become the Pokemon master or it's just a fun game that kids like to play That's the whole premise and the whole goal of this game now. This is the main character right here

He's called ash Ketchum Not how catch him That's right Master Ash Ketchum Not how catch him. Yes, that's right Master ass catch him. That's Master ass catch him. Ash catch him. Okay, and I'm again listen master ass catch up over here. Oh Pokemon destroyed my technology Oh Pokemon why you do this to me? What I say is what their own material says. I'm going to tell you what they describe him

as. Listen to this. Let me read it here. Master Ass Ketchup. Oh, God, we're getting slap happy on the 44th day of GCV. Yes. An energetic and determined 10-year-old who's a little too competitive and he's obsessed with catching all Pokemon and driven to become the world's foremost Pokemon master. And you know, every time that your children watch this program, whether it's a video, whether it's a cartoon, whether it's a comic book, no matter what it is, they hear this mantra, this rap song that's played over again. And it says,

I will travel across the land searching far and wide, each Pokemon to understand the power that's inside. And then it's enchanted to them. Got to catch them all over and over and over and over again. You know what it does? It fuels your child's craving for more cards, more books, more videos, more movies. It's designed to do that. So are you. It's designed to sell. So is religion. It's the same thing. It's marketing. We've been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years. We're going to continue to do it. I don't think Master Ass Ketchup is going to really, I don't think that's going to destroy anybody's life. If you really, I mean, listen, when the Pokemon game came

out on iPhone, I think it was a little much. I saw people trying to catch Pokemons in places and I was like, did you have friends that were playing this? Yeah, of course. Well, it was during the pandemic. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was a little much, but I didn't think there was any harm being done there. No, it must have been running into each other. Yeah, it was just annoying when people were trying to catch their Pokemons walking in front of you. That's what we call enchanting.

Here's the next character. This is Misty. Look at this. Now this is off of a comic book. This is actually a page of a comic book. But if this was clear- Look at her breasts hanging everywhere. Misty...

The... Oh, my God. With her short shorts and her suspenders holding her breasts back. If this was actually clear, you'd see that that's a halter top. It stops right there. Halter top.

And she's got short shorts on. And you know she's got to be about the same age as what Ash is. And let me tell you something. Master Ass Ketchup and Misty have a relationship that's secret and sexy and I have a whole book written about it. I do some fanfic on the side. Okay, and she's described as Ash's companion and listen to what it says about her. She's headstrong and stubborn, constantly arguing with Ash.

Typical woman. No, just- Whoa! Whoa! Now we're getting the root of things here. Well, did you think anybody with a haircut like that was going to be like the kind of guy you'd want to go on a date with? No.

No. Just kidding. God forgive me. All right. God forgive me. God forgive me. Let's get back to Misty in a tits. Frivolous spirit, that's what it was.

And here's Brock over here in the corner, and Brock is by far the most hormonal because... Brock! Now we get to it. Now here it comes. He's about to go unhinged. His fascination with the opposite sex many times gets him or the group in trouble. Well, then there's Pokemon trainer Gary. And Gary's up.

So what, I don't know this game, so I don't know. How does it get them in trouble? I don't know, I think it gets Brock in trouble. Yeah, I guess Brock's boner gets in the way of us catching all those Pokemon. ... in here. But Gary is a real self-centered jerk. He's vindictive and he's obnoxious.

Is that how he's described in the game? I guess. And do they really describe Brock as a hormonal Pokemon catcher? Two characters, and one's called Jesse, and the other one's called James. Oh. And listen to what it says about them. There we go.

It says, prepare for trouble, make it double. Jesse and James are an evil gang looking to steal rare Pokemon. Jesse and James are stuck up, fashion conscious, and you know what? In the program, they're also prone to cross dressing. Oh! Now, if you don't know what that means, that means that if you feel like you're a woman

in a man's body, you wear women's clothing. You dress like one. Which is what I do on Tuesday nights, but that is not a Prophecy Club films on Thursdays. Yeah, it's okay. One day a week. Tuesday nights, but that is not a prophecy club films on Thursday If you're a woman who feels manly you wear man's under clothing and dress like one under man's under clothing First of all, it's super sexy when a woman wears a man's boxer. So let's just go there. Okay cross-dressing Who what kind of role model would that be? Yeah, okay. Now remember it the, I think that's enough right here.

Yeah. Because I think- The role model is that goatee. You've got a pretty good establishment on this thing. Remember that I said that if the characters were the kind of role models that established the kind of values, standards, and morals that we wanted our kids to have when they got to be an adult, that this game or this particular thing is okay. Remember we said that? Okay, so let's examine what we got. Remember? Remember? Remember five minutes ago when I told you something?

Yes. Yes. I'm sorry, I'm busy looking at Misty and Brock, imagining their relationship, steamy and sexy. A headstrong, stubborn, quibbling, self-centered, vindictive, obnoxious, hormonal, sexually preoccupied, evil, thieving, cross-dressing jerks. No. I don't know about you, but I mean, even if I wasn't a Christian parent, I wouldn't want my kids to grow up with those kind of traits.

Then we have to actually say that the characters of this game don't… You know what I've learned about this video? You know I've learned this entire video? I've learned that our boy here has not only made Pokemon, Magic the Gathering, and Dungeons and Dragons extraordinarily boring, but second of all, he has proven nothing except his ignorance about the world in general. And I think that's all we need to know about this video. Wanted to break it down for a long time, but you know what? Sometimes you get exactly what you deserve. Jokes on us!

Sometimes it happens. Yeah, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not. Listen, it's funny and sometimes it's not. Listen, it's funny, but he's not that interesting. No. Yeah, he's kind of boring. God bless the woman who sleeps with this guy. Does he have a wife?

Let's see. I just want to see if there's a ring on his finger. I think there is. Hold on one second. Oh, there is a ring on his finger. God bless America. Well, the sucker born every minute. What can I say?

I want to play Pokemon now though. I've never played. I've never ever played. Never played. Don't know the first thing about it. I think it was like a little after my time. Excuse me. I think Pokemon became real hot in like the late 90s, early 2000s.

And yeah, I was already a grown man but I read about Brock and nowhere doesn't say his hormones get him in trouble that never says anything but listen is that not every boy ever their hormones get them in trouble I mean that's just I think that's most adolescents actually their hormones get them in trouble. Yes. Well, don't be a cross-dressing son of a bitch. That's the moral of this story. Pokemon chasing hormonal cross-dressing son of a bitch. Unless you're dressing like Santa. Santa's not cross-dressing really. That's playing. That's role-playing, Chrissy. You're role-playing Mrs. Claus today. I am.

And you look hot doing it. Alright, TCBpodcast.com. That's where you go to find out more information about the show. All the audio, all the video right there from one location. And now every single episode of The Commercial Break moving forward will be available on video either on the website, Spotify just a day or two after it releases, and youtube.com slash The commercial bride. Go to YouTube, follow us there, like, subscribe, comment on your favorite video, we would just adore you if you did.

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tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say goodbye. This episode is brought to you by Dyson on Track. Dyson on Track headphones offer best in class noise cancellation and an enhanced sound range, making them perfect for enjoying music and podcasts. Get up to 55 hours of listening with active noise cancelling enabled, soft microfiber cushions engineered for comfort, and a range of colors and finishes. Dyson On Track headphones remastered by from DysonCanada.ca. With ANC on, performance may vary based on

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