The Commercial Break - A Literal Pain In The Butt!

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

Bryan and Krissy struggle through ANOTHER episode of sickness as Krissy has the "Summer ICK"!? Sweatin To Oldies saved lives! Lou Dobbs was a dude who died Richard Simmons just wanted to die in peace Where were you when Pres. Joe changed history?? Bryan was rubbing his ass Bryan's getting hip pain....will HE drop out of the race? The weed masseuse did it! Ass pain, Ass pain. It's a pain in the ass! Bryan is limber and loose?? Hardly Instagram ads always have the answer Have you done your throat dives today? Stryder is a new favorite Christina is becoming quite the hit at TCB! Will she have a new show?? IYKYK is still pissing Bryan off Krissy's laugh is tempered by the "Summer Ick" Does Jeff dod on Krissy? The Aquarium has Krissy very excited! Do YOU like to play with your kids? Bryan doesnt like family movie night! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us 212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail @TheCommercialBreak on Instagram Watch TCB on YouTube www.tcbpodcast.com Forr Live Show info, video, audio, stickers and all the other goods Hosts Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B. Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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BetMGM and GameSense remind you to please play responsibly. BetMGM.com for Ts and Cs, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. That MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I just want everybody to know I don't want a relationship with anybody that's a criminal

or that practices witchcraft, regardless of whether they're my relative or not, and regardless of their position, title, where they work, where they live. So if you're a criminal or you practice witchcraft, I don't want a relationship with you. On this episode of The Commercial Break. And I take my hand and I start pressing on that muscle that they were talking about, which they said is like five inches into your body, right? And I start pressing on it, pressing on it.

It hurts like a son of a bitch. It's so tender. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. And I keep pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing. I mean, I am digging deep in there. Give me the pain.

Give me the pain. I know. Ass pain. More ass pain. I need more ass pain. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. It's 30 in the morning! Oh yes it is, cats and kittens. Welcome back to The Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the cohost of the show, Kristen Joy. Holy best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Anything interesting happen this weekend? What'd you do?

Wow. I know, that's a lot going on. I mean, I said it's seven million other people, but wow. Okay. All right. So here we are, fresh off the weekend. I mean, fresh-ish off the weekend. It's Wednesday when you're listening to this, but fresh off the weekend and, mean, fresh-ish off the weekend. It's Wednesday when you're listening to this,

but fresh off the weekend and, you know, big news last week when we didn't have a chance to talk about it, Richard Simmons died. Yeah. Yeah. Richard. A lot of people passed. Bob Newhart passed. Bob Newhart, Shannon Doherty, Richard Simmons,

Shelly Duvall. Somebody else we're forgetting about. Richard Simmons, Shelley Duvall. Somebody else we're forgetting about. I know, and I just texted you that the other day. Somebody else we are forgetting about. But anyway, Richard Simmons passed away after like, remember there was that podcast? Yes. Finding Richard Simmons.

When I first started really listening to podcasts. Me too, that was like back in 2019 or something? Yeah. 1920, something like that? Yeah something like that and it was because the guy was on a mission to try and figure out what happened to Richard Simmons. In like 2018 he like dipped out of private life and public life, excuse me, to just go to be... Lou Dobbs. Oh Lou Dobbs. Okay. Yeah I didn't watch much of Lou Dobbs but I know him and I've seen him certainly on TV. Dr. Lou Dobbs. Okay. Yeah, I didn't watch much of Lou Dobbs, but I know him and I've seen him certainly on TV.

Dr. Ruth. Dr. Ruth. That's right, we talked about her last week. Anyways, go back to you. But Richard Simmons, like in 2000, I wanna say 17 or 18, he dipped out of public life, just all of a sudden, he just like went away. That guy was everywhere all the time. He was on talk shows.

He was obviously selling all of his videos. He was just part of the mainstream culture. The lexicon of American culture. And whatever you think of Richard Simmons, he did a lot of good for a lot of people. By all accounts, a very, very sweet man who helped a lot of people tackle weight, but then psychologically, I think he was.

Yeah, and confidence, we gained confidence and really, you know, yeah. I was reading a story about a woman in Oklahoma in the late eighties, excuse me, and she had, her weight had ballooned over 400 pounds. Didn't know what to do, stuck, almost bedridden, just basically had no will to live. And then that, whatever it was, rocking to the oldies, what was it?

Yeah, something like that, rocking to the oldies. Something like that, something about the oldies. It's like a dance exercise for people that don't know about it. You've got to, but. And just like, you know, lifting your arms or lifting your legs, like simple, simple movements that could help people who really had a weight problem start to lose some of that weight and get some cardio in. It's active. And so this lady was telling this story, this is after his death,

but this lady was telling this story how she bought the VHS. Tapes at the time, yeah. And then wrote a letter to Richard after a couple of months of using it, losing like 20, 30, 40 pounds, whatever. She saw some results. She wrote a letter to Richard after a couple of months of using it, losing like, you know, 20, 30, 40 pounds, whatever. She saw some results. She wrote a letter to Richard, explained to him how he was changing her life and how she

felt a connection through him with the TV when she had mainly, when she had basically no other connection to anyone in life. Her family had told her for a long time to lose weight. They didn't want to talk to her anymore. Her friends had long since abandoned her. She couldn't go out and meet new people, whatever it was, like her and her anymore. Her friends had long since abandoned her. She couldn't go out and meet new people, whatever it was, like her and her dog. And he, and she put her phone number in the letter, and he called her like a week later and never stopped calling her for like a decade, would call her on a regular basis to encourage her to get up, to live your life, to do things. You don't, you

know, maybe you're sweating to the oldies. That's what it was, to do things. You don't, you know, maybe you're sweating to the oldies. That's what it was. Maybe you're not going to be, you know, 110 pounds felt, but you can live your life and you can do this. And she basically credited him with like saving her life. Now married, has a couple of children, like, you know, just went on to have a great life. Went on to change her life, right? Yeah. And I'm sure there's a lot of struggles in between here and there. But I share that story, you know, not because I'm like some Richard Simmons sycophant or anything.

I share that story because I think that's always been the rumor about Richard Simmons, is he was a wonderfully caring, kind, empathetic person who put his money where his mouth is. He would help people, he'd send them free video tapes, he'd check in on them. Like, can you imagine Richard fucking Simmons in the 80s was like one of the most popular human beings on earth. And then he's calling your phone,

you're probably your rotary telephone. Right, he's on the wall. Yeah, and so I think he was responsible for a lot of good in this world. I think so too. Yeah. And then people just- He seemed genuine. He really did. And then people just couldn't leave it alone when he dropped out of public life. But you know, if you listen to that podcast, Where in the World is Richard Simmons or Finding Richard

Simmons or something, if you listen to that podcast, the guy who created the podcast, who went to great lengths to try and find out if Richard was alive or dead or here or there, wherever, he says that, you know, after you're in the world and you do so much, it'd be like, you know, Mother Teresa just like going away or Jesus Christ just like going away and with no information whatsoever. People who love you and who you've given your life to and they've given their life, you know, all this other stuff, like, then you just go away. They just want to know you're okay. They just want to hear from you one last time. It was like a really, at first I was like, this is really sycoph other stuff. Like, then you just go, wait, they just wanna know you're okay. They just wanna hear from you one last time.

It was like a really, at first I was like, this is really sycophantish. Like, why are they trying to find Richard? Why is the guy trying to find, and then as the podcast went on, and I got more involved in it, I was like, well, I get it. I kinda get it.

And so apparently maybe he was sick in some way, shape or form. And I haven't really heard anything. But anyway, Richard passed away. Spoiler alert, it didn't really, like they did find him, but it wasn't really like a satisfying, huge answer. It was more just like he didn't wanna. He didn't wanna say anything.

He didn't wanna be in the public. Yeah, he didn't wanna be in the podcast. Yeah, it wasn't gonna ruin it, but it's 10 years. It's like 10 years old at this point, so whatever, who cares? So anyway, that's Richard's image. So the Trail of Tears continues with people passing. He wasn't that old either. He was like 78 years old or something. I mean, he's not exactly, you know, he's not like us, spring chickens, but he wasn't exactly old either. And then, you know, my weekend was rather tame until 1.45 on Sunday afternoon when everybody started, when I saw, excuse

me, I was watching the news and I saw, and then everybody started texting like, oh my God, did you see that Biden dropped out of the race? No big surprise. Like I think I had pretty much figured that one out right after the debate. He couldn't go on. He just couldn't. There was no way that that wave of bad press was going to go away because unfortunately, and this will happen to all of us, unfortunately age is not something you can turn back. It's not a sickness you get better from. It's not a bad night you recover from. It will continue to beat you back. That's what age does. And so like them, don't like them, whatever you think about him, I think it's a stunning act of patriotism to step away from the race. And now we got a horse race. And now we got a horse race. So we will see what happens.

I can only imagine on both sides of the aisle, people are just freaking out. They're going crazy. Yeah. This will be one of those moments I think you're like, well, where was I when, and I was laying in my bed, stretching my, stretching my, I got this hip pain. Lauren Ruffin Speaking of getting old. Jared Sarkissian Yeah, speaking of getting old, I'm starting to get this hip pain. So listen to this. So I think I told you a couple weeks ago, I may have shared it on air. I had like a really bad back moment.

Lauren Ruffin And you went to the massage. Jared Sarkissian I went to the masseuse who stretched me like a dead horse. She was stretching my diesel. She was stretching my diesel diesel. She was stretching the rigor mortis right out of me. And it really worked. It really helped. Along with the weed smell that was permeating throughout the whole place. Oh my God, terrible, terrible, terrible. Even with all the oils and candles and all that other stuff, it was still smelled like diggity-dank in there. It smelled like happy pappy. Anyway,

go back and listen to the episode if you want to. So it worked. She did it. She got rid of that back pain, at least for a temporary period of time. And then it started winding up again toward the end of last week. And what it, I've had pain on my left side for a long time, my back left sciatic pain for a long time, but this is on my right side. And so, you know, I go to the doctor and you know, what do they say? Take some steroids and go to PT, which is fine. Okay, PT will do the same thing that the masseuse did, just kind of stretch me out and all that other stuff. But it's really starting to wind up and causing me pain in my hip and my butt, right? And I was like, God,

that's weird. I hope it's nothing more serious. You know, you start to think those things. You don't want butt pain. No, you don't want butt pain. Who wants ass pain? I'm a literal pain in my own ass. No one likes ass pain. So, I'm having all this ass pain. I like that, ass pain. What's going on? I got ass pain, doc. And so, I'm stretching it out. I'm doing yoga, stretching. I'm doing this for like hours a day just to try and keep loose and limber. And when I stretch it out, it does feel a little bit better. And then I get served, because of course I do, I get served this ad on Instagram one, one night and it's for this contraption where it basically you lay on it and it digs.

And I'm talking like five inches digs into your pelvis where your hip, where that like right, like right on your belt line. Okay. And then you're supposed to put it. Where the victory V is? Yeah, where the victory V is, but up toward the left or right side. You can't pray on a full dick. Carl.

Carl, good old Carl. Maybe we'll talk to Carl. Where your hip bone is, now move over an inch. There's a muscle right there, okay, on your belt line. And so this contraption, you stick it in there, you lay on it and let it release the muscle, essentially. Get the knot out of the muscle. Okay. Right? And I see this and I'm like- On Instagram? Yeah, on Instagram. Yeah, I've been slightly disappointed on a few things I've gotten from Instagram.

Me too, me three. Yeah. They make it look great. I've gotten a couple good things. Okay. And then I've gotten a couple things that weren't so good. Yeah. I got like a t-shirt company

that would send you a new t-shirt every month, loved it. I've gotten some shoes, loved them. And then I got like pants and they ended up being pleated pants from the 80s, like pleated dockers or something. It didn't look like that in the picture. I was like, no fucking way am I wearing that? And then I tried to return it. And of course the companies no longer exists or whatever anyway. Yeah. You know, five easy payments of $199.99 plus $79.99 shipping and handling or whatever it is. So I'm not gonna buy it,

because it's 200 fucking dollars. I'm like, that's too much for a piece of plastic. I'm not doing that. But why are they telling me that I can get rid of my sciatic nerve pain by pressing on this muscle on my, in front of my body, not in the back of my body, where I, and I know that it's all interconnected. Everything's all connected, yeah.

So I'm thinking to myself, ah, whatever, I'm not gonna fucking do that. And then I'm laying in, yeah. So I'm thinking to myself, ah, whatever, I'm not gonna fucking do that. And then I'm laying in bed last night, and I think to myself, well, maybe, my hips starting to hurt. I'm like, well, maybe this could work, I don't know. And so I go and I take my hand, and I start pressing on that muscle

that they were talking about, which they said is like five inches into your body, right? And I start pressing on it, pressing on it. It hurts like a son of a bitch. It's so tender. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. And I keep pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing. I mean, I am digging deep in there. Give me the pain. Give me the pain. I know. Ass pain. More ass pain. I need more ass pain. More victory V pain. More penis pain. I need more penis pain. And I keep digging and digging, rubbing and rubbing, digging and digging, rubbing and rubbing. And I can feel all these knots and weird things in there.

And I'm thinking to myself, I'm blowing up a gland or something. Like, I probably just busted a carotid artery down there. I don't know. Your intestines. Yeah. But it hurts so bad that I know this is not right. It shouldn't hurt this bad. It's like when you get a knot in your shoulder or something and someone starts massaging it and it hurts so fucking bad, but you know that at the end of that hurt, there's going to be some kind of relief. Chrissy, I woke up this morning, almost fell the fuck out of bed because that muscle was so released that I had this weird sensation and I was like, uh, I was like tripped out of bed.

And then the pain is gone. All right. The fucking pain is gone. Now that's amazing. Well, there's like a band that goes around your. The IT band. Yeah. Well, that goes down your leg,

but it does come up to your hip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's something that goes around your front and back. Yeah. That's, that's your PT band. Okay. That's your PP band. PP band.

Your PP band, your ass band. And I've had people massage that IT band when it's tight too, and man, I'll tell you what, that fucking hurts too. Anyway, it sounds like a geriatric podcast where we talk about solutions for your back pain, but I am just sharing with you that it fucking worked. Well, when you find something that works, it's exciting. Yes, it is. And I went to great lengths last week

to try and get rid of this pain. So far, in fact, I started listening to like crazy yoga people, you know, like doing the ohms and all, to release your back pain, release the energy. Ohm. I mean, I was trying it all. And I stumbled upon this dude. This is like coming to a conclusion here, guys. Don't worry. I'm just, it's just isn't about my fucking hip band or whatever it is. I stumbled upon this guy, Strider Sphere. Look at Strider. Oh, Strider.

Strider's a good old hippie dippy. He looks like he's probably 19, 20 years old. He's got a big floppy hat on and a scarf. Scarf. He looks like something straight out of Led Zeppelin. But like the hippie version. He does, he looks like Robert Plant. Carry on, back around, ram it on. He looks like that band, who's that band

who goes around pretending they're Led Zeppelin? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. I can't remember the name. But I mean, listen, they're fine. They're talented, obviously, but they're like brothers and they dress in those one piece, like penis pouches. You know what I'm talking about? I think so.

And like one guy does all the moves that Robert Plant did. Anyway, so I find this guy's Strider or Strider appears. Strider. Strider. That's a name that only appeared in the last 10 years, 20 years of the world. Yes. Yeah. I've never met a man named Strider until I saw Strider. That's his real name. Anyway, so he's not telling me about back pain, but he's saying this is the way to get the good energy going,

is by doing your throat dives. You want to hear a throat dive? Yeah, let's listen. I just want to share this with you. Here we go. Oh, why are you strider? Oh, here it is. Ha.

["Straighter"] Okay. Listen. ["Straighter"] Oh my God, I'm laughing. I still have a cough so it's hard to laugh. Oh my god. Oh my god. Wow wow.

That sounds like it hurts. I could not stop fucking laughing. I love Strider, I love you brother. Wow, wow Love strata, I love you brother I uh, I did try let me get a monster voice here. I did try it. Actually, I thought to myself, why not? Why not? My throat dies. Wow. Your throat dives. Yeah. I think that's what he calls it. A throat dive or something like that. I don't know what he calls it. Anyway, I called a throat dive. Let's call it that. All I managed to do was scare the dog in the chair. I bet. One of my kids is like, what are you doing? And I said, I'm doing my throat dives.

And they said, oh, like in the pool? And I go, no, not quite like that. This is practicing for dick sucking later on down the road on OnlyFans when I need to make a couple extra books. Oh man, Chrissy. Wow, Strider. People are wild. Strider.

Anyway, that's the... Instagram takes you through, you know, doctor telling you how to do it to chiropractor telling you how to do it to kooky dooky telling you how to do it to... Strider. Guy that one time had back pain that now is sure that he knows how to fix everyone's back pain. I mean, it takes you down the rabbit hole and then you get to Str too. DeStrider. Guy that one time had back pain that now is sure that he knows how to fix everyone's back pain. I mean, it takes you down the rabbit hole and then you get DeStrider. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

I mean, hey, listen, if it works, I don't knock it to DeStrider. How many followers does DeStrider have? Oh, I think he's got quite a few. Way more than we do. Let's put it that way. Oh no, he's only got 232. Okay. But this one particular post has like 10,000 likes on it.

Which is, I think we've gotten that accomplishment, but not by much. All right, so let's do this. Let's take a break and we got lots more to talk about. It's an exciting week here at the commercial break. Yeah! Wow! We'll be back.

What's up haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces We'll be back. should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast, unless you wanna fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website,

tcbpodcast.com. Bye. Hey, I'm Rhett. And I'm Link. Maybe you know us from our daily YouTube show, Good Mythical Morning. But this is a little trailer for our podcast, Ear Biscuits, where two lifelong friends talk about life for a long time.

And nothing is off limits. We talk about our sex lives, our mental health journeys, but we try to never take ourselves too seriously. So we invite you to not do the same or to do the same. We invite you to listen. Follow and listen to Ear Biscuits. Now for free on the Odyssey app and everywhere you get your podcasts.

Ah, yes, Christina. Christina's out of town this week. I'd love Christina to stay unless you wanna fight me. Yeah, you're also gonna fight me. In that case, don't. You don't wanna fight Christina. No unless you want to fight me. Yeah, you don't want to fight Christina. I'm telling you. I mean, I don't know, but she doesn't look like the kind of person you want to have a fisticuffs with. She looks like she can handle her own. But she's out of town this week.

Here's the weird thing that's going on on the messages right now. It used to be... On our messages? On our messages. Okay. It used to be for the longest time, no one contacted us. But then people started contacting us sporadically, right? And I would answer directly.

I would just say, hey, it's Brian or whatever. Sometimes I wouldn't even say, I just respond. And then as the messages, a year and a half ago, two years ago, as the messages started to get a little bit more frequent, other people would answer the messages, but they would always be like, I love TCB, Chrissy and Brian, mainly about Chrissy, Brian's an idiot, you know, all this other stuff. Brian doesn't know what he's talking about. Brian. Which thank you for the, thank you for the love. Thank you for the love and for contacting.

Yes, no, thank you for sure. And, but I mean, here's the point I'm trying to make. It's always about how much people love Chrissy. And I mean, there are people who certainly have said nice things about me too, but I'm kind of the punching bag of the show, which is fine. That's the character. That's the, you know, character that I am. All your filling. Yeah, it's just like life. In real life, I'm the punching bag of my real life too. But now all of a sudden, we're starting to get like Christina fans, people who like what Christina says in the liners and they think that that's funny and they,

sometimes people just respond to a Christina liner, they'll be like, I don't want to fight you, I love you. And I'll get, it's like a random text message in the middle of the night. It's like, I don't want to fight you, I love you. What does that mean? And then you respond to that. I love Christina. Oh, okay. All right all right, now this is making more sense because she did a liner that said that. But Christina now is getting some traction here at the show. She's getting a little fandom, I love it.

Yes, I was thinking about doing like a- She's a big part of the show too. She is a big part of the show. Behind the scenes. Oh God, yes. She keeps us running. She keeps my marriage intact is what she really does. Not because she gets involved in our marriage, but because she keeps me out of the studio

till two in the morning every fucking night, which was going on for years. And if you've got a loved one, they usually want to see you at some point during the day, they want to say hello. Well, you were able to make 30 kids though. I was. I just made it count. When it happened, I made it count. I was like, all right, get to it. And yeah, so Christina getting her own traction here at the show, which I love,

by the way, keep it coming, whoever you like. And what I was going to- The heart wants what the heart wants! What the heart wants! What do you want me to do? I love what I love and I can't love anything else. It's me Irving. I don't know why I love your mother. I love her. Please, when you bury me, do it in a plastic box, in recycled cardboard and make sure you bury me deep with lots of shovels of dirt. The heart wants what the heart wants. It is what it is. If you know, you know. If you know, you know. Oh my God, did I get backlash about that one? I did. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. I see seven people's points. They're like- What was the point? I don't know what the point is, but I see

your point, whatever your point is. No, what some people's point was. Listen, first of all, Brian, you sound, what do they call it? I can't remember the name of it, but there's a name for sounding old and out of touch. Okay. You, oh, chuggy. You sound chuggy. All right, I get it. I sound chuggy. But I just don't like when people put that, I've already shared my opinion on it. I don't want to repeat it here, but what people said was sometimes, you know, when you have social media accounts, you're talking to an audience of people that you've usually curated or they're at your place for some reason. And they will understand generally what, like if they're watching you, they'll understand generally what you're talking about. And when you say, if you know, you know, or IKNYDYKNY,

whatever it is, that there are usually more people than not that are in on whatever those people are talking about, because they tend to have similar spheres of influence. They're listening to similar things. They're eating certain things. They're going to certain restaurants. They're doing certain things. And it's really just a nod.

It's like a funny nod. If you know, you know. Okay, sure, why not? restaurants, they're doing certain things. And it's really just a nod. It's like a funny nod. If you know, you know. Okay. Sure. Why not? I mean, I'm not going to back off my stance here that I think if you know, you know, is kind of silly. Do you agree with me on this? Yes, I do. Okay. Thank you. And I don't think I'm sounding old. I think I'm sounding like a human being who just doesn't want to not know what you're talking about. I just like to generally be in-

It does sound condescending. Condescending. Is that the right word for this? Yes, clickish. Clickish, yeah. Kind of like, and I, first of all, I do get the other side of it and it's kind of a trend right now to say it and it's- It's been a trend for years.

Yeah. You know, so I get it. I do get it. And I guess we could be saying that on our stuff, like if you know, you know. Well, like Astrid did, the day we recorded that episode on one of our Instagram posts. Yeah, I mean, I guess in relation to social media,

maybe I don't know, but I still, I kind of agree with the whole, like, it does make you feel like, well, what if you, well, if you don't know, then what do you do about that? Well, I feel like I've just wasted 10 seconds watching you reel for no reason, because I don't know. And if you would let me in on the joke then, or the thing, then I would be more informed.

But anyway, I took a beating about that. I mean, a beating on text message everywhere. I just took a beating about it. There was even a voice message that I'm not gonna play because I think they were just being mean to me. But I know, but there's, there's identifying anyway. I just want to, haters gonna hate. That's the way it is.

I was going back to Christina. She has, I think such a little following going on right now. I was thinking about starting like after the commercial break, commercial break podcast, like after the commercial break and let her podcast, like after the commercial break. Yeah. And let her tell all the juicy gossips and she seems to be in the know, if you know, you know, kind of know, you know, why not? Like a behind the scenes kind of, you know.

I love it. What do you think? Let's direct people to Patreon. Oh yeah, let's direct people to pay for it. Ha ha. Oh wow, you really are still not feeling great, huh? I know, sorry. Geez, Chrissy. No. You got the ick, ick, sick, wow. You really are still not feeling great, huh? I know. Sorry. Oh.

Geez, Chrissy. No. You got the ick sick sick. No, that cough, it got down low. Oh. Get low. Is that the only thing that got down low over the weekend? And Jeff come back in town?

What's going on? Yeah. Did he love up on you? Yes. Does he, when he loves up on you, like when you're sick, I'm not talking about sexual things, we can talk about that in the next segment, but when he loves up on you, when you're sick, does he get like, pop a bear? Nicole Soule-Northman Pop a bear? Jared Slauson Yeah, like, hey, honey, go lay down, I'm going to make you some soup,

we're going to get some ca- throw out lozenges, I'm going to go to the store. Nicole Soule-Northman Oh, when he's loving up on me if I'm sick. Yeah, absolutely. He takes care of me. Jared Slauson Yeah, does he, does he like a caretaker? Does he become a caretaker? Nicole Soule-Northman He does, yeah. Jared Slauson Yeah. Nicole Soule-Northman He's not overly Yeah, does he like a caretaker? Does he become a caretaker? He does, yeah. Yeah. He's not overly one, because he's working. Yeah, no, no, I get it. But yeah, no, he's definitely like just helps me

and gets me whatever I need. Yeah, I think I tend- Also we can order whatever we need. Oh, that's true. Direct to the door. Yeah, I guess caretakers are called the Uber Eats now. Yeah, yes, exactly. Oh, Instacart or whatever it is. What did you

do? What did you do for this icky situation you got going on? I mean, I took everything. I did the mucinex. What did you do so I can know when I get it next week? Right. I mean, it's, yeah, nothing seems to really work. So I went to the doctor. They gave me some steroids and a cough suppressant and like an inhaler. Oh, really? Yeah. And none of it's really seem to make it go away. So now I'm on the Z-Pak.

You think you have like some not yet known version of COVID? I think so. Do you? But I've been tested three times. What doesn't the test like, I don't know. Anyway, I don't know anything about those tests, but okay. So what is it, what did your sick day look like? Cause I want to know, cause you had to take off work.

So I think I have a right to know, to understand. Did you, you like, First of all, you're making me laugh too hard. I know, but your laugh being gone from the show is like such a big part of the show. I know, I know, I know, I know. I'm trying to keep it a little bit like not so silly so you don't laugh so hard.

Yeah. Well, no, I just felt kind of crappy. Well, I just had the cough. That's what I worked. I did work two days last weekend. I had the cough and then that Wednesday, I was just like, oh, I feel worse. Then it was kind of body aches and nasal congestion.

So I wish there was something I could tell you. Did you really have a fever? I did have a low fever. You did? Low grade fever, yeah. Oh, that's definitely a virus. Yeah. Yeah. So I know it's like, I had already taken two tests,

COVID negative, but those I looked and they were expired when I looked at the tests. Wow. So then I went to the doctor, they gave me an official test. Which is the worst? Negative. Negative. Yeah.

So... Did they get that swab way up there? They got it up there. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, it seems like it's some kind of weird variant. Yeah. Who knows what's happening.

There's been mutations. Yeah, I know. It's all over the place. It really is. We've had a lot of people... We actually ran into Rachel at the public. Oh, Rachel McGrath, yeah, yeah. Yes. Oh, you did? Who was also not feeling well and going to get a COVID test.

Really? Yeah, so I think something's kind of going around. Maybe it's like midtown madness. Maybe you have the midtown mucus syndrome. Midtown mucus would be about right. Listen, all those things going on down in midtown. You never know. It wouldn't surprise me

if there was a midtown mucus syndrome going on around there. Who knows what those crazy kids are up to? I don't know what they're doing in there. Well, I thought too that I had missed being sick because I'd been traveling so much and I thought for sure, yeah. Planes, trains, automobiles, all that stuff, different environment.

Another friend of mine, actually, because I had to cancel going out to dinner with a friend of mine that was in town. I said, I can't, I'm just too, I don't want to give you something and I'm not feeling good. So, and he mentioned that it could be allergies from going to a whole other environment, you know, up in the Pacific Northwest, then coming back to Georgia. So I thought, yeah, that's what it is.

I'll just say it's allergies. But I don't know, who knows? I'm still not 100%. Okay, so back to, let's take Thursday or Friday, for an example. Thursday and Friday, you had to take off. You wake up in the morning, you text me, you say, hey listen, maybe I can make it to work,

maybe I can't, you know, and I say, hey listen, let's just call the whole thing off because I don't want you to be sick in the studio, nor do I want you to miss any more work than you need to. So let's just call it a day. When you work using your voice, if your voice doesn't feel good, or if you're coughing the entire time,

it's just completely, it's not a, you can't do it. So do you like lay in bed? Yes. Yeah? Yeah, that's basically what I did. Did you sleep a lot? Like sleep, well, that was the problem too, was that I wasn't sleeping a lot? I didn't sleep. That was the problem too, was that I wasn't sleeping a lot throughout the week because

I was coughing so much and I was waking myself up at night and then waking up early and just, I just wanted it to be done. Did you see any good television shows or anything? Do you have something good to digest at least? Yeah, yeah. I caught up on a bunch of stuff. Yeah, I hope I don't get this. I do too.

I hope I don't get this, but I have a feeling I will because I get everything that comes within 50 miles. I don't know, you've got all the kids. So I think that keeps you exposed. It does to all kinds of drama. Yeah. So I think with me not having that exposure all the time, I was vulnerable. I really feel bad for you. I do. And I hope this doesn't last much longer.

You know, I have, there's people and this, this is something. You were just scared I was going to have a roid rage like you had. Well, I hope. I was pretty bad off. That was an ugly week. That was an ugly week. It was an ugly week, but it's like unavoidable and it worked. So that's it.

Something about those steroids really does make you feel a whole fucking shit ton better. Well, they did not make me feel better. But you're on the Z pack now, right? Yeah, well they gave me the Z pack and they said if this doesn't, if the steroids don't work, because this was Wednesday and they said steroids don't work and if you know you're not feeling better in a few days then take the Z pack. You're not supposed to take the Z pack with a with a cough, because a cough is virus and- And it could just like blow up the virus and get worse. Well, no, it just doesn't really help the virus when you're taking antibiotics for nothing.

So, yeah. So then I started the Z-Pak. I was like, bucket, I'm taking the Z-Pak on Saturday. Started that third day now today. So I, you know, we'll see. I'm better, but not, that cough is still there. Ugh. This, whatever this is, this ick,

has been going around this summer. And I do know other people who have literally had a cough. I do, a few, they're mainly children, but I do know a few other people in our orbit. And two of them that I'm thinking of in my head right now, two of them have had a cough for months. For months. That sounds awful.

I know. For months and it's annoying and it's dry, it's not productive, and they're miserable. Like they've been miserable and the doctor can't do anything for them. Says, I don't know. One of them tested positive for that RSV. But the RSV went away and they're still coughing, tired, feeling kind of miserable. I mean, you know, I don't know. It's just one of those things, I guess you're going to have to... Do we have a life insurance policy on you? The commercial? Oh, we hate flying. Yes. Who's our life insurer? What if you have to drop out of the race? What are we going to do, Chrissy?

No, I'm staying in. Yeah, you got to stay in. You're too old I'm staying in. Yeah, you got to stay in. You're too old, you're too sick, but you got to keep going. Full steam ahead. Just kidding. All right. Okay. So let's do this.

Let's not make it an overly long episode since I know you're not feeling well. Let's take a break. We'll do one more segment and then I'll get you home to more television, call Floss and Jizz, and soup. I thought you'd be for sure by now. Showgun is a great series, by the way. Oh, that's what everyone is saying is that Showgun is a show, is a must watch television program. I wish I had any free time to myself and I'd be happy to do that. But now I just tell everybody I got to go stretch and then the kids can come and they can jump on me while I'm stretching. I know when I ask her, she gets so pissed at me

because I'm like, you know, throwing the kids through the air and running around with them and jumping and doing flips and helping my daughter with gymnastics. And then she's like, that's why your back is hurting. I know and I'm like, honey, I can't stop being a dad just because I have a little pain in my back. Well, you get in the mode.

I mean, I do have to say, I did this. I don't know if we have time for this on this segment. But so Friday I did muster up the energy. The thing is once you get up and you're up and about, it's okay. You just have this cough. So anyways, my nephews were coming in town. We've been dying to go to the aquarium in Atlanta for so long. And it's such a great aquarium.

It really is. It's huge. It really, really is. It's like the largest one in the Western Hemisphere or something. I thought it was the largest in the world. It's huge. It really, really is. It's like the largest one in the Western Hemisphere. I thought it was the largest in the world. It's crazy. Wow. Yeah, it's so big and it's got so much stuff going on.

So I did make it to that, but there was a point to my story about that. Well, the point was, I don't know what the point was. Oh. I did go to that. Chrissy went to the aquarium, still sick. There was something there. There's a wrap up of the segment. There was something.

I'll think of it. I'll think of it during the commercial. We'll think of it during the commercial break. Here on the commercial break, we'll be back. Let's give your voice a rest for now. What's up, haters? Now, let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces.

And by that, I mean, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at tcbpodcast, unless you want to fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com. Bye. All right, back here on the show.

Well, with one hand tied behind our back because Christy's not feeling... Did you remember what we were talking about? Yeah, well, I was going to say something about the aquarium, but now I can't remember. Well, let's talk about the aquarium for a second. How long has it been since you've been there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so Jeff and I went right after we'd first gotten engaged and we had such a fun

time there. That was about eight years ago. Then they have these monthly things where they do like Sips Under the Sea or something like that where it's an adults evening out and there was a big disco night that they were doing. Oh yeah, in the big ballroom. Yeah, so a big group of friends and we all did that, but that was about five years, it was pre-pandemic. Yeah. So going back now, it just, it was so much fun.

Yeah, we've been to the aquarium a few times, and I've been to a couple of private events at the aquarium. And let me tell you right now, when you get into that ballroom, what girl that I dated was like a event photographer, wedding photographer, and for a time period. And she invited me to come along because her assistant had backed out and, you know, just like hold stuff and carry stuff. And I thought, and we went to like this private fundraiser for, I don't know, some political action committee or something, but, and she was taking pictures of this. And it's amazing because you have this ballroom where there are floor to ceiling glass windows. They're probably 30 feet, 40 feet tall. And when they pull back the, I don't even know what you call them, stanchions or whatever they are, the big drapes.

When they pull them back at night and they turn on the aquarium lights, what you are looking at behind that glass are the whales that are inside of the aquarium, the whale tank. And it is on the- The beluga whales? The beluga whales the beluga whale Well, that's that's one and then I think they have another one where it's just the ocean tank

Yeah, the ocean that ocean tank is crazy Shark whale sharks whale whale sharks. Yeah Anything you any fish that kids were so cute. They were like, we want to see a sea otter. Do they have this? Do they have manatees? Did they have, we saw literally everything. Yes. They wanted to see a polar bear, but that was not the thing.

No, I'm not going to see a polar bear. I think polar bears are rather dangerous, actually. But that was the only thing. Everything else is there. It's unbelievable how big it is, how beautiful it is, how well done it is, and how many animals they have in this very large space. But it's, and it looks large when you get in there. It certainly does look large, but it doesn't look overwhelming. Lauren Ruffin They've got these sections, yeah.

They've got like a main center area where you can branch off and then go this way for rivers. Jared Sussman Arctic, river, ocean, cold water, warm water, salt water, freshwater. It's… Lauren Ruffin water, warm water, salt water, fresh water. Oh, I remember what I was going to say. So you were talking about how you throw the kids around and you're acting like a kid with the kids. So we went to the aquarium and I did the same thing when I was there.

There's like this tunnel that you can go through where you go pop up and like you're amongst the piglins. I jumped right in that tunnel, crawling around. Like- Picking up more disease as you go along. Yes, exactly. They do have hand sanitizer all around that place. But I did the same thing where I was crawling on the floor,

just yeah, being a kid. Gracie, it's really difficult. And Astor gets mad at me, but you know, for, I mean, we've had kids for a while now and, and you know, every once in a while my back will get fussy or I'll be sick or something like that. But I never, I always push it, right? I'm always better than I actually am.

And I go play with the kids and I run around. It's especially difficult for me to not play with the children because that is my love language and it's been proven that fathers share their love and their intimacy with children through play. That's how it is. And thank God that I do love to play with those kids. I love it. I love to get in there and get my hands dirty and throw them around and wrestle and do all that stuff. But Astrid complains, she almost fusses at me every time that I get sick or back pain. She will tell those kids, don't, your dad's back hurts, stop it. And I always get a little upset. I'm like, Astrid, I can't stop being a dad because

my back is a little bit fussy. And she's like, finally, a couple months ago, she said something to me that really made it clear. And I think I agree. She's like, if you don't take care of your back, they'll have less dad for less period of time, because you're just going to put yourself in like a surgery room or say you're going to put yourself in a surgical situation, a situation you can't recover from quickly. And that will be the worst thing for them. So if everyone's in a blue moon, you know, every couple of months or whatever for a day or two, they can't jump on your back and ride down the hallway. Is it really that big of a deal? And I'm like, well, it feels like a big deal in the moment to tell your children.

No one wants to tell their children no, but you know, okay, I get it. I get it. But I still do it. I still do it. Yeah, I know. It's hard not to do. We have a friend, Allison, this brings up a point. We have a friend, Allison Hare, who's a longtime friend, supporter, fan of the show.

One of the reasons why I think the podcast even exists quite frankly. We love Alison. And she's been podcasting for a long time, maybe a year and a half longer, say a long time, year and a half long, long time in podcast years. And she had this episode one time,

and she called me before she put it out there. And she explained, I'm about to put out a really controversial episode. I'm a little bit nervous about it. I said, well, I've heard your show. Well, how controversial can it be? And she said, I'm going to talk about how I don't like playing with my children, how it feels like a task to me and I don't like it. And she had on like a therapist and the therapist said, this is not an uncommon phenomenon. Lots of parents don't like to play

with their children. They do feel like it's a task. So maybe the thing to do is to get involved with their lives in a different way, right? And play when you can. Of course, you've got to play with their children. They do feel like it's a task. So maybe the thing to do is to get involved with their lives in a different way, right? And play when you can. Of course, you've got to play with them at some point, but she had a really good explanation for what to do. I am the exact opposite. I love to play with my children. What I don't want to do, what I, like, what is not interesting to me as a parent is I'm not like a, like I'm not a huge fan of sitting there and watching some video that they're interested in. You know what I'm saying? I'd much rather be like, Interactive.

Interacting. Doing some kind of like being around them, hanging out with them because that feels interesting to me. But I love to play with them. You know, I think I'm a kid at heart. It's hard not to be a kid at heart when you have those damn kids. And I got so fucking many of them, man.

Tell you what. And now we've got to buy new car seats for some of them. So we're all paying them. They're really fucking expensive. Yes, they are. If anybody's like works at a Mercedes dealership or a nice van dealership, can you send over like a 10 person van customized

with televisions and a cooler and a toilet and all that other stuff? If you could just donate that to me, I would appreciate, I would be forever in your grace. So then let's go to the list of things that the commercial break needs. We need a private plane, private plane rides to and from all of our live shows and we will be going ever, Majorca is where we're going to be going next month for two months. Everett, Majorca is where we're going to be going next month for two months. Yes. So there's a pilot or a guy, somebody, guy, girl who's got a private plane, somebody out there who's has access to a private plane. Could you donate that plane for rides to and from our private

shows? We need a van. We definitely need a van and we just need money. Like if you just want to cash a check, like cut a check to us, we'll be totally okay with that. A driver. A driver. A driver and a chef. Yeah, driver and a chef. That's what Chrissy needs. Somebody once wrote us and said,

how do I financially support the show? That was like the- One. One person wrote one time. Bank account details, yeah. One, Zelle. I know, you know, I was like, honestly, I'll give you our Zelle account information

right now. You feel free to support us however financially you want. However financial you want to get, get there with that Zelle. They never responded to me. It was a nice thought. It was a nice thought. This is also like the end of the first season of the commercial break. And I am positive that no one gave a shit. I think we barely did. Yeah. No, we haven't. Oh my gosh. What a day. What a weekend. What a couple of weeks. Yeah. Unbelievable. It's just been the news is fast and furious while I'm laying in bed. I know. Well, it's good.

I mean, I guess in some sense, it's nice that you have at least some interesting stuff to watch. I know you don't love watching news, but at least it's something interesting to watch, right? Yeah, I didn't really watch the news. You had the RNC convention with Hull Cogan, which was- Did he show up?

He literally introduced the president. Oh, okay. The former president, I think. I don? He literally introduced the president. Oh, okay. The former president, I think. I don't like to watch the news. Oh my gosh, Chrissy. I was like, is that actually Hulk Hogan up there ripping his shirt? Ripping his shirt. I didn't see this headline.

Yeah. Then they had pictures of him at some bar afterwards and people were swarming him. Wow. Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah. That's all right. I wish you just had stayed ambiguous. I liked Hulk Hogan when I was a kid. Who didn't like Hulk Hogan when they were a kid, but whatever. Anyway, everyone's got it. Everyone's got an opinion these days, everyone. And now it's wall to wall coverage of Kamala. There you go. I guess as it should be, as it's going to be.

All right. TCB podcast.com. That's where you go to find out more information about the show. You can get your free sticker there. Also go to the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address and a way it will go. You can also watch. Yeah! You can also watch all the video, listen to all the audio, all right there, one location, tcbpodcast.com. Follow us on our Instagram for all the up-to-date information, the comings and goings, funny clips, all that stuff. If you would please follow us on Instagram, tcbpodcast, at tcbpodcast, oh, I'm sorry, at the commercial break, I'm sorry,

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And youtube.com slash the commercial right. All right, Chrissy, I know that's enough. I know that's all you can do today. I think so. But I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say, goodbye. Check your patties!