The Commercial Break - A Pampered Travel Princess

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

You ever zoomed so hard you hit someone with your car? No? Maybe you were just the travel princess of that situation. Cue: Storytime with Bryan! The zoomies! Bryan got hit by a car đŸ˜¯ Storytime w...ith Bryan! Travel Princess Overpacking Princess or pampered asshole Bryan & Astrid’s trip to paris A tiny hotel room in Paris LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 My life changing slogan for 2024 is, I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism at this time. Oh, you didn't put enough salt in this. I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism. That's a great line. You scratched my car. I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism. You just punched my wife. Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm not actually accepting criticism at this time. And I know there will be people listening to this going, that's quite toxic of you. And to you, I say, I'm sorry, I'm not accepting criticism at this time. On this episode of the Commercial Break. If you're the person who just shows up, maybe occasionally carries some luggage,
Starting point is 00:00:34 and then everything else is taken care of for you, you are the travel princess in that relationship. And enjoy it. And enjoy it. If it's working. Yeah, it's a privilege. It's an honor to be a travel princess. It is. I wear that badge with color. I love it. I think it's great
Starting point is 00:00:46 I am a travel princess as I will repeat as I am in much of my life I am an entitled human being and I'm entitled to have my trips planned for me The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Peace. Yeah, Kazza Kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this incredibly mediocre podcast, Kristin Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kris.
Starting point is 00:01:18 Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. I hope you had a nice Father's Day, all of you fathers out there. Yes. Happy Father's Day to you. Thank you. Father many times over. I know, did you get lots and lots of presents, like 30? Yeah, I don't know because we're recording this before,
Starting point is 00:01:36 Father's Day, but I would imagine that- I was going with it. Okay, thank you. I'm trying to pull back the sheet just a little bit. But it's close, we're very close to Father's Day, we're just a day or two away. Yeah, I imagine I'll get like, I'll probably sleep in. That's nothing strange.
Starting point is 00:01:50 I'll sleep in. That's nothing that doesn't happen almost on a daily basis. I don't sleep in really, really late, but you know, I'm a little bit later than Astrid and some of the kids. But you know, I always say, if I could get a massage and watch a little bit of golf on Father's Day,
Starting point is 00:02:06 I'll feel happy. That's a good day for me. That's a good day. And then I just wanna play with the kids. Like I honestly just wanna have fun. I do like playing with the kids. I really do. There's so much fun to play with.
Starting point is 00:02:15 They really are. Yeah, they're a nightmare. You know? Yeah, they're a nightmare. Okay. Don't worry, Des. I still want you to have kids. Dezbishop.net.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Thanks, Dez, for coming in. We certainly appreciate it. What did I want to say? I wanted to say that, you know, the people who have puppies will, who have had puppies, this will certainly resonate with them. There's something called the witching hour, sometimes called the crazy hour, sometimes called the like wizies or something, the whirlies, the wizies. The quantum hour? Yeah, it called the like whizzies or something, the whirlies, the whizzies. Like quantum hour?
Starting point is 00:02:45 Yeah, it's the quantum, quantum hour! Throw in a little barking and some twisting and turning, shitting on the floor right before bed. It's called puppy hour! Quantum witch has declared it puppy hour! Yeah, I call it, we call it crazy hour around here. And the kids do the exact same thing. And so here's what the scientists say about the legitimate thing called the crazy hour.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Let's just call it the crazy hour. It's when your dog right before bed, right before sunset usually goes crazy, just starts running around the house, jumping on things. The dog? The dog, the puppy. Okay, not the kids. Well, the kids too, but I'm saying the dog. Scientists believe that they're essentially fighting that, like it's like that last bit
Starting point is 00:03:24 of energy they're fighting going to sleep. I've had plenty of dogs in my lifetime and I don't think I've ever seen the crazy hour. You've never seen crazy hour? You've never had crazy hour? I think it's a blue thing. It's not a blue thing, that's for sure. Blue has crazy hour every hour of the day.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Well right, that's maybe, yeah. But you should Google it, it's a thing. People videotape it, they whiz around, they go back and forth and back and forth, they bite things, they bark, they twist and turn. And it's like a physiological response to not wanting to go to sleep. They don't know how to manage that last bit of energy,
Starting point is 00:03:54 so they just go crazy. Again, we're talking about the dog and not the kids. Talking about the dog or the kids. Yeah, I was gonna say the kids I can see. All apply, yes. But I was sharing with my friend. He says to me, hey man, let's go out, we'll go grab a beer.
Starting point is 00:04:06 Let's right during bedtime. And I'm like, listen, it's crazy hour around here because right before bed, that hour before bed, those kids get fucking nuts. I mean, they get nuts. That's what I was thinking, you're talking about the kids. Well, the kids at Kinn The Dogs. Yes, and Chrissy, I can't,
Starting point is 00:04:21 it's like the hour that my head just wants to explode because not only are they tired and just letting all that energy out, but I'm tired. But I'm a full ass grown man. And so for me, I know how to manage that. I just lay my head on the pillow and go to sleep. For them, it's like, you know, they fight it every inch, tooth and nail, everything is an argument,
Starting point is 00:04:40 everything is a fight, every parent will resonate with this. Toddlers, small children, fuck them. You know that book, Go the Fuck to Sleep? Yeah, Go the Fuck to Sleep, it's really funny. That was written by a parent who understands where I am at. Understands where I'm at. Because your patience and your tolerance for all of that is just thrown out the window.
Starting point is 00:04:57 You just had dinner, the baths are done. You just want them to go the fuck to sleep. But they won't do it. And I don't understand how I get them to go the fuck to sleep, but they won't do it. And I don't understand how I get them to go to sleep. So I'm going to call the doctor and ask for Xanax. Is that legal? Can I give the kids Xanax? I don't think so. No, it's not. Of course not.
Starting point is 00:05:18 But they have the kid melatonin stuff. Yeah, we emergency situations. I'll admit there have been occasions, mainly on flights or international travel, when we have like little, you know, whatever they call, kid melatonin, on standby in case of an emergency situation, especially when you travel international, when the schedules are all screwed up.
Starting point is 00:05:39 And they're, they, I think they do better with jet lag than adults do because their body adjusts really quickly and ours take a little bit of time. But I'm telling you what, it's, it is a nightmare to go to sleep. I hate that seven to eight o'clock hour because I just want them to go to sleep so I can get work done, watch a movie, have any piece of quiet whatsoever. And they go crazy. I want you to come over and you deal with it. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. I thought you were my best friend. I thought you were supposed to be with me through thick and
Starting point is 00:06:10 thin. You are my ride or die. I'll take a night. I will take a night. A night? I want you to take a month's worth of nights. That's what I want. My wife and I have some cuddle time alone without children jumping up in the bed because they're scared, they're tired, they're hungry. We'll start with a night. Okay, start with a night and then I'll lock you in that room. You can take care of it.
Starting point is 00:06:28 They're hungry, they're tired. They need another glass of water. I mean, how many glasses of water do you need before you go to bed? Well, and then they're gonna have to pee, so. Oh, forget about it. One night, one of my kids is on this water kick. I need some water.
Starting point is 00:06:43 I need some more water. I need some more water. I need some more water. I need some more water. And so I keep giving the kid water because I think, well, part of your, part of your parenting is about what you think is right or wrong and guiding your child. And part of your parenting has to do with the guilt you feel if something should go wrong, should you not pay attention to what they're asking you to do. So it's just like those damn boo-boos. When my kid says they have a boo-boo, but there's clearly no boo-boo there, you put the boo-boo on because you don't want your kid to grow up and think, I had a bunch of
Starting point is 00:07:10 boo-boos and my daddy never took care of me. Right? And so I just keep giving the kid water, but I keep saying, like, hey, settle down. You're going to have to pee, you're going to have to pee, you're going to have to pee. No, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. Let's go to the bathroom before we go to bed. No, no, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. Two hours later, wake up and the entire bed, it's like we're swimming in pee. The entire bed, the entire king-size bed is just soaking wet. And I was like, holy shit, kid, you got a bladder, first of all. Second of all. And then, of course, Astrid wakes up and who does she blame first? Me, because I gave the kid water. And I'm like, what do you want me to do? Let the kid go dehydrated? And she's like, Brian, the kids live in an
Starting point is 00:07:48 air conditioned house. They drink water all day long. I'm giving them juice and snacks all day. They're not going to die if they don't have some water. And I said, but what if they do die because they didn't have water? Then I'm going to feel guilty. Fucking nightmare every time. Oh, well. You know, I got hit by a car today. I know. Isn't that insane? Holy shit, that's crazy. I mean, I walk in the door today. Like, I just got hit by a car today? I know. Isn't that insane? Holy shit, that's crazy.
Starting point is 00:08:05 I mean, I walk in the door today. You're like, I just got hit by a car. I just got hit by a car. I was taking a walk. Sometimes I go over to Starbucks and I'll walk there. It's like a two mile round trip. And so it's a nice way to get the day started. I'll listen to something on the headphones, no drama, no kids asking for water, no dogs
Starting point is 00:08:24 barking, none of the whizzies, none of the crazy hour. I just walk up to Starbucks and I walk back. And at one point you have to cross the street. It's not a particularly busy street, but it's also not like a side street. So they have a dead man's lane, a suicide lane in the middle, one of those turning lanes.
Starting point is 00:08:40 And so I'd look both ways, like any human who's ever been on earth looks both ways before you cross the street. I'd look both ways, like any human who's ever been on earth looks both ways before you cross the street. I'd look both ways, there's no cars coming either direction, and I start walking into the middle of the street to go to another street. And as I get into the dead man's lane, all of a sudden out of nowhere, some lady is pulling into the dead man's lane and she's coming at me quick.
Starting point is 00:09:01 Now I say quick, it's probably only five or 10 miles per hour, but when you have a car coming right at you at five or ten miles per hour, I mean, she came up on me quick. And I didn't know what to do. And so, my cat-like reflexes just went into action. I put my hands on the hood and I pushed myself off to the side. And so, I avoided any kind of, any kind of injury. I don't feel like I had any injury. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. And so, I jumped. She rolls down the window. She says, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, I'm assuming that she was Latina because she also was saying like, lo siento, lo siento. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And she kept on saying, sol, sol, sol, like the sun, like the sun was in her eyes. And, you know, part of driving during the day is the sun is going to be out. That's one of those things that you got to pay attention to.
Starting point is 00:09:46 But I was clearly in the middle of the street and she came out of nowhere. She just literally came up on me. Scary, scary shit. So then there's a couple cars that stop. One guy is telling me to call the police and I'm like, no, no harm, no foul. I don't know what this lady's situation is. I don't know where she lives, who she comes from, what her family is, but I don't want to ruin her life potentially over something that didn't hurt me, right?
Starting point is 00:10:08 I just told her to, I'm like, just, you got to be more careful. Like, watch where you're going. There's people walking all over these streets. In my mind, I was like in Grand Theft Auto, jumping over the hood of a car. I probably look like Biden doing the Juneteenth dance. I probably look like an old man falling off his walker side. Do you know what I'm saying? In my mind, it was the coolest thing that ever happened in everybody else's mind. That old man just got hit. Oh my God. It was, uh, thank God.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Yeah. Thank God. Glad you're okay. I could have died, Chrissy. I'm going to milk this for all it's worth. I could have died, Chrissy. I'm gonna milk this for all it's worth. I could have died. I'm gonna go tell Astrid. I could have not be here right now.
Starting point is 00:10:51 You should really give me a great Father's Day gift. Yeah. I want a two hour massage. Astrid was walking at the same time I was with the groceries and things and kids. You're telling me you almost got hit and she's like, aye, yeah. She's getting the groceries and things and kids and you're telling me you almost got hit and she's like I Yeah, she's getting the groceries out.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Why? Yeah, she's like well, I got a bag of potatoes from Costco What do you want for lunch? She's probably thinking to herself I was this close this close to getting rid of him. Olaf, Margarita, it's me, Astrid. You didn't finish the job. I'm not paying you. Okay, bye. That's right.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Oh, it was scary. Of course. No, I mean, you, you versus a car, a human versus a car doesn't win. No one's winning that one. No human is winning that one. A car coming at you at any speed is pretty scary. I mean, you know, people die all the time getting hit, I'm sure, on slower speeds. Because what happens is if you're not expecting it, I would imagine what...
Starting point is 00:11:58 I mean, luckily, out of the corner of my eye, I caught it, I stared right into it, and then I just put my hands down and just kind of jumped to the side. But you know, you get hit and then you smack your head on the ground or something like that. Like, bad things happen all the time, just like that. And I understand a little bit when they say like, your life flashed before your eyes. My life flashed before my eyes. And I said to myself, well, you did the best you could. It wasn't so great, but you did the best you could. I thought to myself, is the commercial break all is going to be left of me in the world? Your legacy. My legacy is 600 hours of bad comedy. I tried though. It really was. It was very scary. I know. Very scary. Very happy you're okay.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Well, thank you, Chrissy. At least someone gives a shit about me. I do. You know, I hit someone with my car one time. I think I've told this story. Here. It was a late night. It was the 23rd of December. Actually, it was the 24th of December, so it's overnight. It's probably like one o'clock in the morning. I had worked a shift at the restaurant. This is many years ago. Worked a shift at the restaurant. I came home and I was sharing a car with my roommate. Actually, it was her car. She let me drive it. Let me be clear about that. It wasn't my car. It was her car. Let me drive it. We lived downtown. We didn't, you know, there wasn't like a ton of stuff that
Starting point is 00:13:15 we needed to do with the car. So there was, we had this Saturn that sat out front that we could, you know, whoever used it, used it, right? You just grabbed the keys and you went. sat out front that we could, you know, whoever used it, used it, right? You just grab the keys and you went. So, I went to sleep probably about midnight. I had left the TV on. I wake up sometime in the past one o'clock in the morning and there is a McDonald's commercial that's on right as I wake up. And they're like showing a milkshake and fries, right? The whatever they got, the candy cane milkshake and fries. I forget what it was. But I was hungry. I had to have it. I was hungry. And I knew that the McDonald's down the street was open 24 hours a day. How did I know that? Because I probably ate there twice a day. I mean, you know, I was a kid living on, on, you know, pittance basically
Starting point is 00:13:56 in the restaurant industry, because I wasn't a very good waiter. And so I jump in the car and I ride down the street and there's a stoplight where I have to take a left to get to the McDonald's. So I ride down this residential street, I stop at the stoplight, this is downtown Atlanta. And when I say downtown Atlanta, it's not the nicest part of downtown Atlanta at the time, right? It's over right near Ponce. So before the Ponce City Market and all of that. Right, with the revitalization. Yeah. This is like right next door to the police station in Atlanta was the worst possible place in Atlanta.
Starting point is 00:14:28 You would think that they would like take care of the backyard, right? But it just, there was a lot of drama going on in that part of town, especially late at night. And so as I took the left-hand turn, someone ran out in front of me, like into the blind spot and I hit them with my mirror, with the side of the mirror, and the mirror actually cracked. It came off, right? So I hit them hard enough that the mirror cracked. But as I pulled out and took a left, and then I saw them, and I tried to swerve, the mirror got cracked, I turned all the way around, busted
Starting point is 00:15:01 a U-We, and went up on the curb, went up on the sidewalk, stopped the car, jumped out and no one was there. She had run away, right? He had run away, I'm not really sure. And within two seconds, there were like five police officers right up on me. And what had happened was one of the police officers, two of the police officers actually had been sitting in the gas station parking lot across the street and they had seen me take the U-turn and go up on the curb, but they had not seen me hit the person. So as soon as they get up on me, I got my hands up in the air, you know, everyone's getting out all,
Starting point is 00:15:36 you know, crazed and, you know, get in the car, hands out, hands up, hands up, screaming, yelling, you know, and I'm like, oh my God, hands on guns, and I'm like, holy shit, holy shit. I was just going to see if she was okay. I was just going to see if she was okay. And the officer comes up and he puts me in handcuffs and he's like, what are you saying? And I said, I was just going to see if she was okay. And he goes, who?
Starting point is 00:15:56 And I go, the lady that I hit. And he goes, what, you hit a lady? And I was like, wow, I should have kept my mouth shut on that one. Well, they looked and they looked and they looked and they never found, they have kept my mouth shut on that one. Well they looked and they looked and they looked and they never found, they didn't find any blood on the street. There was no one that they ever found. I was sitting in a parking lot for probably two hours while they tried to find this person
Starting point is 00:16:15 that I had hit and they never found them. So I know damn fucking McDonald's. I swear on all that's holy. And that was a scary thing like it really was very scary to hear that noise like of someone hitting the car right it was it was scary but you know I'm assuming everything is okay because I probably would have heard about it had not everything been okay but you know you got to be careful when you're driving that's the bottom line Chrissy. Now you've messed up too the mirror on the shared car.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Oh, yeah. That was not a good day in roommate history. You really were, Chrissy McDonald. That was not a good day in roommate history. She had to bail me out of jail. It was like a whole fucking thing. It really was. So anyway, to the lady who hit me, God bless you, child. May you pay attention and may you get a pair of sunglasses. Yeah, maybe that's what she needed to like, you know, jog herself into really paying attention. Yeah. She had one of those, when she rolled down the window, she had one of those sun visors
Starting point is 00:17:16 on the side of her window, the kind that you stick on the window. She had it on her driver's side window, so she had to rip it down to roll her window down. Her window. Her down to roll her window down. Her window. Roll that window down. Roll that window down right now young lady. You done hit me. At my advanced age I could have broken a hip. I think I did break a hip. Call your insurance company. I should have milked up for him some insurance money, but, you know, I should have fallen on the ground like a soccer player, like just flopped around on the ground.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Oh, my hip, my kidneys, I'm feeling pretty shitty. Take me to one of those chiropractors you see on TV. Have you been injured in a car accident? Call 111. Jay and Associates or whatever it was. Yeah. Yeah, but, you know, I'm not an ambulance chaser. No, no harm, no fault. At the end of the day, like, why am I going to ruin somebody's life? Insurance premiums go up, who knows what their personal situation is. You know, maybe they don't, maybe they're not supposed to be driving. Maybe they are supposed to be driving. You know, whatever. I just didn't feel like I wanted to.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Maybe she'll take that sun visor off the window. Well, after I render. Well, you know what I'm thinking about it? Since she didn't see you. Yeah. Now that I'm thinking about it, she Dombkowski Since she didn't see you. Jared Sussman Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, she was taking a left, she probably didn't see me. Beth Dombkowski Yeah, because of the visor. Jared Sussman I should have called the police. I probably could
Starting point is 00:18:32 have gotten at least $1,000 for my troubles, right? Don't you think? Beth Dombkowski You could try and do this again tomorrow and then see. Jared Sussman Same bad time, same bad channel. I'm just going to stand there and wait until she comes there. Beth Dombkowski Yeah, and see if she can see her again. Jared Sussman And then I'm going to run out on the left-hand side of the car so she can't see me because of her sun visor. Yeah, now that I'm just gonna stand there and wait until she comes out. And then I'm gonna run out on the left-hand side of the car so she can't see me because of her sun visor.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, like this all just happened by the way, within the last hour. So now that I'm thinking about it, yeah, I guess you should not have a sun visor on blocking your ability to see out your actual window. That is correct. Yeah, huh, well, okay. What are you gonna do? It's all over the window. Yes, that is correct. Yeah. Huh. Well, okay.
Starting point is 00:19:05 What are you going to do? It's all over and done with now. What am I going to do? I'm just glad you're okay. All right. Thank you very much. I'm glad I'm okay, too. So if I seem a little frazzled today, maybe not on top of my game.
Starting point is 00:19:15 That's why I'm having... Also, you need to show me how to work everything here in the studio now. Oh, yeah. You know, I thought about that the other day for some weird reason. I'm like, what if I just like, something happens to me? Who's gonna actually figure out how to get to all of this stuff? I mean, Christina knows a lot of stuff,
Starting point is 00:19:32 but just everything, no, she doesn't. And part of me, like why bother telling anybody, what is the value in any of this stuff anyway? Just grab the server and take it to the local, I don't know who those guys, the geek squad, take it to the geek squad. Tell them please don't arrest anybody, there's some bad episodes on there.
Starting point is 00:19:54 We'll talk about that. Yeah, we'll talk about that. All right, I wanna take a break and when we get back, I got a great topic to talk for you that I think is blowing up the internet right now and I'd be interested to hear your opinion on this. And it has nothing to do with incest sex, so there you go. Oh, that's good. Okay, has nothing to do with incest sex. So there you go.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Oh, that's good. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. We'll be right back. I know you're already on your phone. So pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB? Or, if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB.
Starting point is 00:20:38 And don't forget to check out tcbpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break. This episode is sponsored in part by Quince. All right, we are getting ready for a few trips here at the Green Household. We're going to go down to the beach. We're going to go up north to visit some relatives. And now we're getting ready for live appearances here at the commercial break. And if you're anything like me,
Starting point is 00:21:07 you start thinking about vacation, you start thinking about what you're gonna wear, you need new clothes, you need new threads. To impress all those people who have no idea who you are and will never see you again, it's baked into my brain. I want new clothes when I go somewhere new. Well, over the last couple of weeks, I've found out about and shopped at quince.com.
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Starting point is 00:22:22 with the clothes you were wearing four years ago. Go to quince.com and treat yourself. And we want to thank Quince for being a sponsor Don't go to the beach or that family reunion with the clothes you were wearing four years ago. Go to quince.com and treat yourself. And we want to thank Quince for being a sponsor of the commercial break. It's the most anticipated WNBA season in history. So you know what that means. Court is back in session with Queens of the Court, a WNBA podcast. I'm your girl, Sheryl Swoop.
Starting point is 00:22:42 And I'm Jordan Robinson. All WNBA season long, we'll bring you interviews with star athletes, analysis on your favorite teams, and lots of hot takes. Order in the court. Follow and listen to Queens of the Court, free on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Travel Princess. Have you heard the term? No. Okay. Travel princess is going around the talk and the gram and all that stuff right
Starting point is 00:23:13 now. The term travel princess. I can guess what it means. You guess. But the very princessy travel. You have to be pampered along the way. I don't know. It sounds, you know, Christy, you're amazing. Well, when you call somebody a princess, you know, No, you almost got it. You're getting onto the, you're sniffing up the right, you're sniffing up the right light pole there. Travel princess in this regard refers to the person in the relationship who does nothing
Starting point is 00:23:48 but show up at the airport and get on the plane and the other person plans everything down to the T. And Astrid sent me, I've seen this, this has been going around for a month or two or maybe even longer, but- I think Jeff may be the Travel Princess. Oh, I'm the Travel Princess. Guilty. Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it, I want the travel princess. Guilty. Guilty as charged. I want to be the travel princess though. But you're not. No, because I like to plan it all. Yes, that's it. See, there you go. Astrid and I had this big debate yesterday because
Starting point is 00:24:13 she sent me one of the reels and she says, you are definitely the travel princess in this relationship. And I argued for about five seconds before I realized, yes, I am the travel princess. But I explained to her, listen, before you came along, I did plenty of travel and I did fine on my own, right? I knew how to pack a bag. I mean, poorly, but I knew how to pack a bag. I knew how to get on a plane. I knew how to show up at the airport on time. I could plan my own trips, you know, the hotel, the cab, the whatever, rent a car, whatever needed to be done. And I've been on plenty of business trips where I do my own, well, some business trips I do on my own. Not all of them. But I said to Astrid, you like to plan this stuff.
Starting point is 00:24:48 That's your thing. That's your lane. You love it. You love the ability to get in there, dig in, find the details and plan something out. Research, yeah. Yes. Compare notes. I think there's a fundamental way, there's a fundamental difference between Astrid and I,
Starting point is 00:25:02 and that is I am okay just showing up somewhere and figuring out what we do next. I don't need to necessarily have every bit of it planned out. Astrid doesn't need to have every minute planned out, but if she could have a general sense of what we're going to do on a daily basis, she feels better about it, right? Yeah, that's the way I feel too, get the bones there.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Yeah, so you're the person who plans everything in the relationship. And when did that start? Early on, did Jeff cede control of the travel planning to you? I think so. Now that I think about it. Yeah. See? See? But I would bet if I talked to Jeff about this, Jeff would say, I would be okay doing this kind of stuff, but I just like to give the control to Chrissy because I know she likes to plan that stuff.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Well, we just, I mean, it's very apropos that we're talking about this because we just had this discussion yesterday because I've been the one planning all the trips and things and whatever. And I, I like it because I want to find cool things and have Jeff be like, this is the best. That's so fun. And yes, and we found something off the beaten path. Cause I like to really research and look at different blogs and reviews and things about hotels and what to do in the different cities. However, this one trip that we're taking upcoming to Vancouver and the Pacific Northwest is there's so many puzzle pieces here. Planes, trains, ferries.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Oh really? Automobiles, hotels, different things. And it's really kind of stressed me out. So I know I told Jeff, I said, look, because we try and take a trip in the winter, like January, February, or then also June, July, because of his work schedule with the festivals and all of that. Those are the two times of the year that he can get away and feel OK about it.
Starting point is 00:26:42 So I said, for our winter one, it's you. Here you go. This is the place, I think, that we want to go and you go for it. You play. Oh, really? So I'm going to, this is a test. Uh-huh. Will Jeff pass or fail the test? What grade is Jeff going to get? I want an honest answer. Once all of the, all of the travel is concluded, I want to hear what the honest answer was. Do you pack Jeff's bag? Partially, yes.
Starting point is 00:27:07 See, this is, Jeff and I are married to the same woman. I'm sure of it. I'm sure of it. Yeah, he just doesn't do the shirts right with the roll and the whole thing. I know, I don't do the shirts right and I pack too many t-shirts and you know, why do you have to have-
Starting point is 00:27:21 I help him whittle down the stuff too. It's a whole fucking drama every time. So now I have reshaped my entire packing persona based on whether or not Astra's gonna yell at me, right? That I have too much shit. And you know what? To be fair to her, 99% of the time, I'm an overpacker. I've always been an overpacker.
Starting point is 00:27:40 If I go somewhere... I am too, when it comes to clothes. Yeah. Cause you don't know. No, you never know, that's the thing. You don't know exactly where you're gonna go. You don't know the weather and the situation and what you're gonna need. When... You have to be prepared. Yes. That's what I agree with you on this. It's worth the extra drama to lug a couple extra pounds around so that I have that thing that I need to wear because there's nothing like, there's nothing quite as, I guess, disappointing as showing up, unpacking all your stuff. Then you get an invite to go somewhere and you do something and you're like, well, shit, I don't have the right clothes for that. I don't have a nice tie to wear to dinner or I don't have a, you know, a jacket
Starting point is 00:28:19 so that we can go up in the mountains. I mean, I can't tell you how frustrating that is for me. So I like to just pack just in case. in the mountains. I mean, I can't tell you how frustrating that is for me. It is. So I like to just pack just in case. And I pack three underwears per day. And I know that's way too much. Like, we went to Spain for a month last year. I knew that I was going to have the access to a washer and dryer in some of the places that we went. There would be places throughout the month where I would be able to stop and wash clothing. Sure, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:43 So that made me a little less nervous. I knew that I would be able to at least clean the clothes so I could recycle them a little bit. I figured if I put a week's worth of clothing in there, then that would be good. But a week's worth of clothing for all situations, hot, cold, swinger's resort, I wanted to make sure it was all there. Raining. You know what I'm saying? Yes, raining. I had to bring my Volkswagen-sized pocket pussy just in case. You know, I had to do a whole thing. I had to make sure.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Well, this is a swagger's resort, you don't need clothes. That was light packing on that. I am telling you what, I am telling you what, I would love to go experience that just for one weekend. Not that I wanted to get involved necessarily, but I would just like to be there. That's the one regret that I have about being married.
Starting point is 00:29:27 And I have no regrets about being married, but I have one regret that I didn't do when I wasn't married, and that is go to one of those like hedonism or something like that, just to check it out, just to see what it's all about. Cause I have friends who have gone. They were down in Jamaica where we just were,
Starting point is 00:29:42 and they had those boats that would come by. The hedonism? Yeah. And all the Jamaican staff that we were talking to and made friends with while we were there, they said, oh yeah, the naked boat. The naked boat comes by, everybody loves to look. Chrissy, I have had friends who have gone there and they're like, twice as wild as you think it would be.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Oh yeah, I've heard. Twice as wild as you think it would be. I was like, it's named hedonism. I have a pretty clear thought in my mind about what it is. There's a bunch of dicks and vaginas out there just going at it. Yeah, everybody just partying. Oh, the jacuzzi at midnight, you know, go to the, I don't know, where the palm bushes and fuck behind them. And one of my friends said it was literally a fuckfest the entire
Starting point is 00:30:24 time. Was it Marlin? Well, Marlin went. Yeah, Marlin went, but he went with his then girlfriend, I think. I wish I had a Marlin update for us. I really do. Maybe I'll see if I can dig one up. But I think that part of his problem in that relationship was the commercial break. Or you're talking about it. Yeah. Because you remember, I think she caught on. Yeah. But yeah, so I packed for a week when we're going to Spain.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Well, plenty of people I think that go to those too are married. Tahitianism and stuff like that? Well, I mean, swingers, isn't that really kind of, you're swinging, you've got a partner, you're going to switch partners. Yes. I think there are swingers. You need to work on Astrid is what I'm saying. I know, because, no, no, she's my forever girl.
Starting point is 00:31:12 You don't take your forever girl to go get fucked by somebody else. You know what I'm saying? You take your girlfriend who's a little wild on the side in your late 30s, that's what you do. That's what you do. You go there when you have that partner who's just willing to try anything. And because they are willing to try anything, they're certainly not your
Starting point is 00:31:30 forever, but you're okay for right now. And you go, well, if I'm going to do this with anybody, I'm going to do it with this one because she's crazy. But I don't think, no, that's just not answering style. No. All right. Well, you've missed the boat. The naked boat, if you will. Get on the naked bus, get on the naked bus. You know, you kind of got a taste of things at the party in the woods. That is definitely as close as I've ever come, yes.
Starting point is 00:31:59 It was skirting the edges. I did have a 10 person golf cart one night riding around and everyone was completely naked. I mean, it was insane. You had a brush. I had a brush with hedonism. But back to my travel princess, I'm a travel princess, no doubt about it. Astrid plans everything.
Starting point is 00:32:22 She plans everything and she does it really well. So why bother? I think you have to kind of give up control because I mean, if two of you are trying to do it at the same time and the same thing. Too many cooks in the kitchen. One person just has to kind of take the reins. So I do in some sense, the tail is wagging the dog in some sense, because I just, she comes to me and she says, okay, on the third, we're going to do this. And then on the fifth, we're going over here. And then on the 10th, we're staying at this hotel. What do you think? Yeah, I do the same thing with Jeff. I'm like, do you like this? Here's pictures and things of the hotel. What do you like this one or that one? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:00 I'll get his input. But for the most part, I'll get his input, but for the most part. One of the things that I think has been a real plus in my relationship with Astrid, and I'm sure Jeff would agree with this, and probably a lot of men and women understand this feeling, is that when you get to a certain point in your life, when you've had a few long-term relationships and you've seen the foils and the foibles and the problems that occur during relationships, you learn that there are lanes that you stay in and there are hills that you die on and some you just don't die on. There's no reason to start a fight over this. There's no reason to argue where, so when it
Starting point is 00:33:42 comes to travel Astrid is good at it. She's really good at planning all of those details and making sure everybody has their passports and that everything's up to date and that the paperwork is there and that we, you know, that we have the hotel reservation and the car is ready for us when we get to this airport. She's really good at that. Why would I die on that hill? Why in the world would I get in the middle of that? You don't need to. I don't. I could be a travel princess. That's okay. I'm a princess in so many other parts of my life, why not just extend it to traveling? I literally am a pampered asshole.
Starting point is 00:34:10 That's what I am. I'm a pampered asshole. I take the late shift, I get to sleep in an extra hour or two every single day. Sometimes my kids even bring my coffee right to my bed so that I don't even have to go anywhere. Yeah, if I tell my kids, if I say, hey, son, run and grab me my coffee, it's in the refrigerator, he will do it and he'll bring it back to me lickety-split. They love it.
Starting point is 00:34:30 It's the most, they love it. It's a chore. They did a task for daddy. And then I say, now leave me alone while I go to the bathroom. Can you skip the morning press conference? Of course that never happens. But okay, whatever. So I'm pampered in so many other parts of my life. Travel is just
Starting point is 00:34:46 yet another place where I'm really lucky. I'm just a lucky bastard that I have someone that can do all of that for me. Yeah, mine as well. Now I'm hoping what I'm trying to not do with Jeff taking the reins on this other trip next year is be like, have you done this? Have you found a hotel? Have you looked at it? Have you called your friend that lives there? Have you done that? Have you done it? I caught myself yesterday doing it and I was like, okay, stop.
Starting point is 00:35:14 Yeah. Okay. Okay. Give up control. Let this serve as a celluloid reminder, a reminder that you can go back and listen to all the time. And I'll say this to Jeff while I'm at it. If you're going to give him the reins, let him take the reins. I'm going to have to do it.
Starting point is 00:35:28 And Jeff, if she starts getting up your skirt, you say, hey, my turn. Yeah, my turn. I get to do it my way and you're going to follow along and we're going to have a good time. You won't go without a roof over your head. I promise we'll get there on time and we'll have fun things to do when we get there. That's it. That's all you need to know. You just pack. I guarantee you one thing. He's going to let you pack. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's going to let you pack. No, no. I don't expect him to pack for me. And I'll probably still pack half of his suitcase.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Of course you will. But everything else with the trip, with the whole planning, I just have to give it up. Do you share a suitcase? No. No. Oh, so you each do two suitcases on your own? Yes. Okay. So that's where we differ. Where we differ is the suitcases.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Astrid puts together one large suitcase for the both of us. If the trip is longer than four or five days, there's one large suitcase. That's amazing. I need to ask Astrid how she does it. Well, first of all, look at the size of the suitcase. It's like the size of a small house. Well, no, I have a big one too.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Oh, you do? Like one of those big old rolly ones? Yes. That fit like 80 pounds in there? My dad was like, that should be illegal. They are, I think. You have to pay extra for them. I can't tell you how many times we have had to pay that extra, whatever, $20 because- Oh, for the over limit.
Starting point is 00:36:40 Over limit, because it's like five pounds over limit or two pounds. But there's just, at some point you just go, okay, whatever, we're gonna pay the $20. But she does manage to get both of our shouldn't have. That's amazing. Now a lot of times we'll have an extra smaller bag with just shoes in it. It's like the just shoes. But the difference between your travel and my travel
Starting point is 00:36:56 is that I also have to carry seven other suitcases around. Well, I was gonna say, yeah, that's why. That's right. Because there is a bag limit, you know. There is, one per, two per, whatever it is. And with all the 30 kids, it's a lot. Everyone gets their own suitcase. They have their own little suitcase.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Yeah, the little suitcases are so cute. And they get so excited about packing them too. They do, I know. It's like 10 days before. We're going to my dad's for like one night and they're already packing. I know, but I know your son came in here and he had the suitcase.
Starting point is 00:37:26 He said, daddy, I packed my underwear. Yeah, okay. We're going in August, but okay. All right. It's really cute. Fine, no problem. Yeah, listen, Travel Princess is a thing. You can go on Instagram or TikTok.
Starting point is 00:37:42 You can just put that in, Travel Princess, and you'll see a lot of examples of people talking about why they are travel princesses. And it just basically boils down to this. If you're the person who just shows up, maybe occasionally carries some luggage and then everything else is taken care of for you, you are the travel princess in that relationship. And enjoy it. And enjoy it. If it's working. Yeah. It's a privilege. It's an honor to be a travel princess.
Starting point is 00:38:04 I wear that badge with color. I love it. I think it's working. Yeah, it's a privilege. It's an honor to be a travel princess. I wear that badge with color. I love it. I think it's great. I am a travel princess, as I will repeat, as I am in much of my life. I am an entitled human being, and I'm entitled to have my trips planned for me. I think it's something too about wanting to know
Starting point is 00:38:22 that it's done right. Like that actually everything's gonna be taken care of. Okay, okay. And in time. Okay, all right. Are you saying that Jeff or me might not get that done? Should it be in our hands? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Okay. Well, that's to be seen. We will, Jeff will be. Has Jeff never planned a trip in your entire relationship? No, I mean, he's planned, but you know, like a trip to the mountains or something, but in the cabin. Yeah, mostly. Yeah, it hasn't been me.
Starting point is 00:38:53 Will call the hotel on the way up there. I was watching some show and the girl was pregnant and they had like a baby, like one of these reality shows, maybe it was seven little Johnsons or something, but they were having a baby shower. And after the baby shower, after everything settled, it's just the couple, the girl who's pregnant and her boyfriend, and he says, hey, I got a special surprise for you. And she's like, oh, what's that? And he goes, I want to take you on a baby moon. And she goes, oh my God, that's so sweet. Where are we going? He goes, well, wherever you want to, really. And I was like, Oh my God, I would get punched in the face. Wherever you want to, you plan it and then we're going to go.
Starting point is 00:39:33 We're going. No problem. I'm taking you on a trip. Wherever you want to go, get my credit card out and just start typing away. Wherever you plan the trip for, that'll be great. typing away, wherever you plan the trip for, that'll be great. I can at least do that. I can at least find the hotels. I can figure that part out. But then when it comes to a certain level of detail, I agree that Astrid should be doing that stuff for us on behalf of the family. Jared Larson Right. Jared Larson Because there are bigger stakes. I mean, not that,
Starting point is 00:40:00 not that anyone is more or less important than anyone else, but there are larger things at stake when you have children. Like, you can't be standing in front of a hotel for Not that anyone is more or less important than anyone else, but there are larger things at stake when you have children. You can't be standing in front of a hotel for seven hours trying to figure out exactly when they're going to have the room ready and or is this actually the hotel that we booked. Yes. And I'll tell you a funny story about the first time that Astrid booked a trip for us.
Starting point is 00:40:23 I'll tell you a funny story, but let's do this. Let's take a break and we'll be back. No, wait, hold on one second. Not yet. Not yet. Oh, and then I have some exciting news at the end of the episode, so stay tuned. Okay, I will.
Starting point is 00:40:37 I'll stay right here. It's gonna be the first time Christy finds out about it too. So we're all gonna find out about it together. All right, I'll be back. We'll be back. You and me, together. Okay, sounds good. You plan it and I'll tell you. You plan when we're coming back and just let me know. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB. And you can
Starting point is 00:41:03 text us anytime you want. Or you can call or leave us a voicemail, and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on TCBPodcast.com. Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G, more time that we have sponsors, so thank G and here they are.
Starting point is 00:41:33 All right, so it is, I don't know, maybe Esther and I have been dating for like six months and she is off in Switzerland getting her master's degree. So we're really missing each other, and probably a month into her being over in Switzerland, I say, okay, I'm coming over. Right? I'm on my way.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Yeah. And meet me in Geneva, and then we're gonna just kind of travel around. One of the places we're gonna go is we're gonna go to Paris. We're gonna take a train down to Paris, we're gonna be there for a number of days. So romantic. I know, it really was.
Starting point is 00:42:06 Unbelievably, I pulled that one right out of my ass. Yes, I did. I watched a couple movies and I figured out how to do it. So Astrid says, oh, this is wonderful. I love it. I'll plan it. Step to Stern. Don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:42:20 You just put your credit card down and we'll figure out how we get this done. And I'm like, okay, great, wonderful. This is the first like trip, trip that we're taking together. We had taken some other trips to like, I think we went to Disney World, we went to Aruba, but those trips were kind of pre-planned. Like we just, it kind of came together organically. It wasn't like one or the other planned it, but this one, she's going to plan. So we get to Geneva. And this is before you were married.
Starting point is 00:42:43 This is before we were married. So hmm. So, it's October. I'll remember that it's in October near Halloween time. And so, I fly over to Geneva. She's got the hotel set up. I land. I meet her somewhere in Geneva. We take a train to the hotel. It's all very perfect.
Starting point is 00:42:59 Like, I was just wonderful. We get to this hotel. It's lovely. It's a lovely hotel, downtown Geneva. I'm just really happy. Let's go hotel, it's lovely. It's a lovely hotel, downtown Geneva. I'm just really happy. Let's go get a cup of coffee, okay. Hey, in a couple of days, we're going to go to Paris. We're going to stay in Geneva and then we're going to go to Paris. And this is the exciting, this is like the meat and potatoes of the trip. We're excited to go to Paris,
Starting point is 00:43:15 because neither of us had ever been. And so, you know, we're going to see all the sites and do all the things. So I said, hey, where are we staying in Paris? And she says, we're going to stay at the Hilton, the Hilton Les Congrès, the Hilton at the Congress. And I was like, wow, that's incredible. That's great. Wow. Wow. I don't even know what you're talking about, but Les Congrès sounds fancy, right? And it was a Hyatt, excuse me. And I was like, and it's a Hyatt. You can't go wrong with a Hyatt. No way. And she goes, and it's got a view of the Eiffel Tower. And I was like, and it's a Hyatt. You can't go wrong with a Hyatt. No way. And she goes, and it's got a view of the Eiffel Tower.
Starting point is 00:43:47 And I'm like, this is delicious. You have really outdone yourself here, Astrid. Fantastic. Make sure you get a nice room. Because the secret is I was intending to propose. I know. So I got really excited about this. So now everything's lining up.
Starting point is 00:44:02 We got a view of the Eiffel Tower, not sure where I'm going to do it, not sure how I'm going to do it, not sure when I'm gonna do it, not sure how I'm gonna do it, not sure when I'm going to do it, but I'm going to do it in Paris. It's gotta be in Paris. Yeah, gotta be. So we take a train to Paris.
Starting point is 00:44:14 We ride first class on a bullet train, on a high speed train. How fun. That was lovely. We had a great time. What a great thing. Astrid wanted us to go and coach because she was like, listen, it's a nice train
Starting point is 00:44:25 and any seat in there is gonna be nice. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, only the best for you. Get the first class tickets. With the Chianti Classico. Yeah, Chianti Classico. By the way, a meal on one of those trains in that first class cabin is akin to like a four course meal at any restaurant in the United States.
Starting point is 00:44:45 It was unbelievable. And it's just like the normal, I mean, it's first class, but it's like the service they give you. It was a wonderful ride. And we got to see the countryside. And so we get there, I don't know, it's four or five hours, something like that. We get there, we take a cab,
Starting point is 00:44:58 take us to the Hyatt Lake on Gray. And Astrid speaks a little French. And the guy kind of turns around and he looks at us and he goes, hi-yit, and yeah, yeah, the hi-yit. He goes, huh, okay, all right, I'll take you to the hi-yit. By the way, it just sounded like a Mexican cab driver there. Yeah, that was a bad accent. That's a bad accent. So, we get to the hi-yit. It is this huge hotel. I mean, it is huge. And we walk in the front, it's a little bit older,
Starting point is 00:45:26 but it is right there at the Le Congrès of the Congress, right? And we walk in and the lobby is incredible. It's huge. It's got a hundred foot ceilings or something. I mean, it's just beautiful. It's grand. It's big. You're like, this is the jam. And it's like a circular hotel, right? So it's one big circle. Yeah, that sounds beautiful. Yeah. So I'm just so excited. So we get there and we check in and they, oh, you know, are you celebrating anything? No, we're just here, you know, it's our first time in Paris. Fantastic,
Starting point is 00:45:57 we have a lovely room for you. Oh, that's great. Lovely, you know, views of the Eiffel Tower. Oh my God, this is amazing. And then they just say, okay, well, you know, views of the Eiffel Tower. Oh my God, this is amazing. And then they just say, okay, well, you know, whatever, Philippe is going to take you over to your room, right? And so the bellboy grabs our bags, we go up to the room, he opens the door to show us the room. When we get upstairs, like into the hallway area, it's like a circular hallway, right? So he starts walking around this circular hallway, and the doors are very close to each other and the ceilings are very low. And so, I'm already understanding this is like an older hotel and the lady mentioned to us that the hotel was under renovations. So, I was like, oh great, we got, you know, newly renovated rooms and all this stuff. This guy opens up the door
Starting point is 00:46:41 and Chrissy, the room is no bigger than this table that we're sitting at right now. I mean, it is tiny, tiny, tiny, which is not uncommon in Europe, by the way. It's just not uncommon. Everything is very compact there. It's all very dense cities spread out amongst large farmland or whatever it is, whatever part of Europe that you're in. Farming land. Well, they have farms there, don't they? I know, but how? The countryside, the countryside. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Sheeps and farms and wheels of Parmesan cheese. I'm not sure. How do we go to farmland from the center of Paris? Fondue farms. They have fondue farms out there in Paris. I think that's what they do. Wine, I don't know, grapevries. What do they call them, grapevries? have Fondue farms out there in Paris. I think that's what they do. Okay. And wine, I don't know, grapevries.
Starting point is 00:47:28 What do they call them? Grapevries? I don't even know what's called. Vineyards. There you go. Grapevries. Grapevries. Nice. So we opened up the door and the room is tiny.
Starting point is 00:47:38 I mean, it is just really small. And, but it's my first time in Paris. I'm in the middle of downtown Paris. I'm not too far off from the Eiffel Tower I'm definitely in the district. I'm like, okay, maybe this just is what it is I am NOT gonna complain because I'm here with the girl that I love and I'm excited about the trip I'm not gonna complain not yet anyway So we get into this this room and they have two beds, right? Two tiny little beds Oh that they have now pushed together,
Starting point is 00:48:07 which is also not uncommon in Europe. You know, I don't know why they do that. They just, maybe it's, they can't get them up the elevators or something, I don't know. But they don't usually have king size beds. So push these beds together and then you can, sure. You can see the Eiffel Tower. If you crane your neck around like this, you can see like one half of the Eiffel Tower
Starting point is 00:48:28 and it's not very close. It's probably a mile off in the distance, two miles off in the distance. It's not the best view of the Eiffel Tower you've seen. You've got to love the hotel for marketing it though as view of the Eiffel Tower. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, of course, that's what they're going to do. Yeah. And then we noticed that there's like a blood stain on the carpet.
Starting point is 00:48:43 There are multiple stains on the carpet, actually. The furniture is from the 70s. The sink is like formaldehyde or Formica or something. It's like weird, you know, everything is old and decrepit and weird. Now, just to give credit where credit is due to the Hyatt, I know they have renovated this place since we've been there. You guys need to go back. Yeah, we were not on the renovated floor. That's what was going on, right? They hadn't reached that floor yet. So, even though we were high up in the building, and yes, you could see the Eiffel Tower if you managed to catch it in the right light, you know, occasionally. Chrissy, it didn't take me but half an hour to tell Astrid, I'll be
Starting point is 00:49:20 right back. And at the time I smoked cigarettes, I told her I was going to smoke a cigarette. And I go downstairs, and I think I've told this story, I begged to get a bigger room and they'd say, of course, no problem, we're so sorry about the trouble. And I don't complain. You get much more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. That is true. And so, it's all about how you say it. And I just said, listen, it's an important weekend for me. You know, I think I'm going to propose, I had anticipated the room would be a little bit bigger. Maybe we'd be able to see the Eiffel Tower a little bit clearer, you know,
Starting point is 00:49:48 whatever we need to do, happy to pay for it, may I please have a larger room with a little bit better view of the Eiffel Tower, to which they accommodate. But what they did was they sent us up to a room that had two of the exact same rooms connected by one of those doors in the middle. It was the exact same thing. They just put them together. They just put two, they just opened the door. Yes, it was so weird. And they're like, this is a suite. And I'm like, a suite? This is a suite. It's two rooms is what it is. Anyway, it turned out that I had to make some adjustments, some calls on the fly, and we ended up at a very nice hotel over by the Arc. And we did this in the middle of the night,
Starting point is 00:50:27 we like did it under the radar. And I think I told this story that Astrid dyed her hair. Yes, that's right. Because when Astrid did all this planning, one of the things she didn't tell me until I got there, until we got into, until we got to Paris, was that she had planned a photo shoot for us in Paris. A photo shoot. If you know me, had planned a photo shoot for us in Paris. A photo shoot.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Yeah. If you know me, you know that photo shoot is on the very last rung of any priority for me. I don't like to have my picture taken. It's not my favorite thing in the world, but I'm with this beautiful young lady who I am falling in love with and I'm like, okay, we'll roll with it. Um, you were kind of excited because, Hey, this could be the, the proposal. Well, uh, photos.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Yes. It just gave me the thought that I had to do it before the photo shoot. Like it gave me a deadline. Now I have to do it before the photo shoot. And I think I did it the night before the photo shoot, but we ended up at this beautiful hotel, hotel where I, or we ended up getting engaged, but I'm telling you right now is that that didn't leave the best taste in my mouth for Astrid's planning abilities.
Starting point is 00:51:29 So I was like, listen, I might have to take this over from now on. Planning in another country can be tricky. She redeemed herself a million times. She was so apologetic and so embarrassed about it. And I was like, how would you fucking honestly, how would you fucking know? Like you wouldn't, you're planning something. You know, anything can look good with a little touch up on the photo, right? No, it's kind of, and it's tricky
Starting point is 00:51:50 in planning for other countries. It's very tricky to plan for other countries. Just listen back to the episode where I explain our experience in Spain with all the Airbnbs. It's very tricky to get it right. And that is no fault of the person planning. That's the fault
Starting point is 00:52:05 of the people saying that they, you know, you have a five-star luxury house and what you get is a chicken coop in the back of the yard where the chickens just chase you around all night long with no internet, phone or television. Unbelievable. In the middle of this tiny little village in the middle of the north of Spain, you know, mile from city center, mile from city center. How? With a high speed train? I mean, how do you get there? Maybe a mile, maybe if you fly, but I don't happen to have wings. It was 25 minutes to get to and from the city center. Listen, I don't mean to be a bitch about this and to rehash, you know, the old grievances I had with this particular house, but I'm telling you what. We're coming up on a year.
Starting point is 00:52:49 We're coming up on a year and I feel like I'm having PTSD from those chickens chasing me all night long as I'm outside trying to find any phone signal whatsoever. That was terrible. But when Astrid planned this trip, the first big planning trip in the first hotel, the second hotel that we stay at is like, you know, it's kind of, and I was like, well, maybe I should take over from here. But I'm telling you what, there's no doubt in my mind that not only am I a travel princess, but that I am ceding control to the person who is best suited to do this hands down. So now whenever Ast now, whenever Astrid looks at a hotel or looks at a place to stay, she's always like,
Starting point is 00:53:27 is this okay with you? Yes, that's what you do. Yes. Is this okay with you? That's what I've done with Jeff too. And I'm like, listen, I trust you now. 10 years later, I trust you now. But maybe it wasn't so great, that first hotel in Paris.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Oh, it all turned out well. I'm just being an entitled bitch. it all turned out well. I'm just being an entitled bitch. It all turned out well. Turned out the best for everybody, I think. Dwight Franklin. I do too. Look at us now. We're doing great.
Starting point is 00:53:54 We survived the shitty hotel in Paris. And I survived the car accident. Yes, thank goodness. Yes. My back's feeling a little sore actually. Oh God, well you had to twist. Cat-like, cat-like reflexes. It was, it was like I jumped sideways.
Starting point is 00:54:12 I twisted my body over the corner of the car. And it was a Honda Accord, which is kind of weird. When you said that. I know. I was like, ah. It's kind of weird, yeah. The old Honda Accord. It's kind of strange. Coming back to ya. Karma, it's kind of strange. The old hundo board coming back to ya.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Karma, it's a bitch. Old Wander. It's a bitch with a plastic fender. Ha ha ha. But I am okay. Hey listen, we're gonna be in Florida in September. Wee! Tampa and Orlando.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Those are the first two shows we have to announce. Tampa and Orlando. We're gonna dip our toe. We're gonna dip our toe in the water here. We'll see how that goes. Chrissy's gonna plan it. It looks like the 25th and the 26th, Orlando in the 25th, Tampa on the 26th.
Starting point is 00:54:57 I'll announce where you can buy tickets soon and shortly, but I just wanted to throw the dates out there in case you're interested in coming. We would love to see you. If you come, or if you intend to come let us know text us 1 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 TCB that's 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 8 2 2 text us let us know you'd love to come to one of those shows 25th in Orlando 26th on in Tampa
Starting point is 00:55:22 Yeah, we'd love to see you. We're doing it. We'll bring some stickers, some swag or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Also merch drop coming soon. Astrid will give more information about that. We'll tell you when and where you can get that merchandise. If you are so interested, I think we have some great swag that you can pick up. So those are two big announcements. We'll keep reminding you. Let us know if you're going to be there. TCB podcast.com. That's where you go. More information about the show, all the audio, all the video, all the links to our guests and our sponsors, all their special discount codes and all that stuff is available on the show notes. We want to thank Des Bishop, Des
Starting point is 00:55:56 Bishop.net. If you want to see him live, go check out his YouTube special of all people TCB podcast on tick, The Commercial Break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all of our guest interviews and selected episodes. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you.
Starting point is 00:56:18 I'll say best to you. Best to you. And best to you in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. ["Goodbye"] Check your panties!

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