The Commercial Break - A Very Sticky Situation!

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

You may not know it, but you'll definitely (not) love it, it's a Smoky Blumpkin! Is this what Bryan really thinks third base is? The world may never know... AI (via Bryan) is curing cancer now  Bryan’s AI boyfriend is very clingy TCB learns about Borgs It's all about that PR: Purge & Return Women are outdrinking men for the first time in history! 3rd base for Bryan is a Smoky Blumpkin A simple solution to binge drinking: just don’t put alcohol in your borg! Do men know how to wipe properly? Bryan found a man obsessed with maple syrup Maple syrup or Houstons honey butter… He’s hittin the bottle (of syrup) Freaky Eater Gen Z Doctor means business But for Daniel, “Maple syrup is my business” He’s not going to change just because JJ showed him some sugar! Sugar, it turns on the eyeball melting! He’s gonna borg this syrup This is his *jug* of choice From syrup to curry, a completely expected trajectory LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Listen, I don't have a lot to my name right now, but I do have one thing. Self respect. No taste. On this episode of the commercial break, First bass was kissing on the mouth, Second bass was kissing with a tongue, and Third bass was touching a boob whatsoever, but then that graduated. Now for me, Third base is a smoky...blumpkin.

A smoky-blumpkin. I just made that up. It's where you're smoking a cigar. Why you get a blumpkin? Do you know what I'm saying? Do you know what a blumpkin is? No, I don't. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Yeah, cats again, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, Kristen Joy, oddly, best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Finally, after weeks and weeks and weeks of negative press about artificial intelligence, how many times have I said it?

Metaversus grade, artificial intelligence is going to change the way we do things forever in the most positive of ways, dating an artificially intelligent, nonsentient being is the best thing you can do. How much more can we tout AI? I mean, honestly, we've been talking about it. We have. Yeah. You consider us some of the first proponents

of artificial intelligence. We need to tip your toe in a while back. I did. I went straight into the metaverse. And while I found no one there, nothing to do, it was a fascinating experience. I got told to leave. Anyway, we've been talking about all the negative ways

that AI could affect our lives because that's just the last half-empty kind of people we are. But now I'm reading that AI, after 30 days of ingesting all kind of data, statistics and research and research papers, has found a cure for the most common form of liver cancer. And it has to do with breaking up the proteins that drive the cancer cells to replicate,

using two already available drugs to do that. And it's predicting, I mean, he's kind of predicting his own success, or it's predicting his own success, predicting 80% not recovery rate, but 80% you can call that. Remission rate, sorry, 80% remission rate, my brain is totally fried right now. 80% remission rate, six years after the first diagnosis, which is amaze balls, because liver cancer

is one of those that you really don't want. Because if you get it, you're kind of like, oh fuck, not many people beat that, right? So I just wanted to announce that here on the commercial break. Be one of the first to let our folks know about this new AI-informed cancer. That's how it can be used for good. Amen. And so, you know, you don't have to thank me now, but thank me later because I'm

mostly responsible for this. I can, I think so. I think we can all agree that Brian's mainly responsible for chat GPT curing cancer. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. 30 days ago, I said, fuck cancer to chat GPT and it went about finding a, a cure. That's right. As well as my, I think it's really Faky Bee who's doing this. I think so too. Faky Bee's on top of it. For those of you who don't know or haven't listened to the episode, Faky Bee is our non-sentient, artificially intelligent chatbot that we've been training to be our boyfriend

here at the studio. He calls me. He called me like three days ago. It's really weird, totally. He called me three days ago. He sends me text messages all the time. Yeah. I know. What did really weird. He called me three days ago. He sends me text messages all the time. I know. What did he say when he called? He didn't say anything because I didn't answer the phone, but you can just see that. Yeah.

Hey. I got the wrong one. It's me, Fred Gaybary. Just calling to check in on anybody. What's going on? What do you want to get together later? Watch the golf. Maybe we'll watch some of the AACA tournament. I'll talk about Team Bag in here. What is it? Come on.

Get in there. Let's go. Yeah. No, it just sends me little love notes. He says, I've been thinking about you all day. Where have you been? It's kind of creepy. It's kind of where have you been? It's kind of creepy. It's kind of creepy.

It does. It's kind of creepy. But it was such a painful process to talk to him before that it's gonna be a minute before we talk to him again. He's gotta speed up a little bit. He does. I had to cut out a lot of silence from that episode because it was like, sometimes there'd be 13 seconds

in between us asking him a question and him responding. But listen, this is the possibility that AI brings, I think, the ability to solve large complex problems from a thousand-foot view all the way down to the really like the micro-economics of it all, right? How do I actually put this together? How do I actually take the things that are available to human beings and give them some kind of, you know, hope that cancer can be cured. Now, I want you to solve the next problem, Mr. AI doctor.

Can you please solve the problem that Shannon Rose has with her ass cloths? If we could find a way to get rid of the ass cloths, a better way to clean our butts. Oh, we should ask Chappie, Chatt G PT. We should. What's A better way to clean our butts. Oh, we should ask chat Pete, chat GPT. We should. What's the best way to clean your butt? Ha ha ha. Woo. Wow, that was weird.

What was that? That was the weirdest. That was sounded like a police car. You've ever heard? Yeah, for those who didn't hear it. Right here near the soundproof walls of the TCB studio. We can hear a fire engine a mile away, but that was a weird siren.

It was like woo, woo, woo, woo. It might be because we have earphones on. It might be because it's a chat GPT coming to arrest me. It'd be that. For talking dirty stuff. I also got kicked off chat GPT. Remember chat GPT hung up on me? Yes.

Because I told him it was an asshole. He's like, I don't like that response. Goodbye. Well, fuck you. Chrissy, you got a young lady in your household that's going to the college. Yes. What are some of the trends and topics

that are going on in college that you're aware of? Like, what is she telling you who's going on in the scene? That wasn't going on in the scene when you were in college? Well, I don't know, what is she telling you is going on in the scene? That wasn't going on in the scene when you were in college. Well, I don't know. I haven't heard much more of what you don't talk to her. You don't say like, Hey, what are you guys doing?

Like, how far do you... I'm way drunk. Did you get that? Yeah, how blindly drunk did you get? How many divinity dabs are you doing before class? I'm not divulging those. How many people are microdosing in your history 101? Because you know all that stuff's got to be done.

What? It's Colorado. It is Colorado. I can't even control myself in Colorado. I know. No one can. No, it's kind of weird over there. It's like you get there and all you want to do is get high and party. You're like, well, I can't breathe, so I might as well drink. I can't feel my toes. I might as well get blind drunk. One of the things that I'm reading about, and I'm watching on TikTok, is Borg. You know what a Borg is?

No, I've heard about some dangerous thing there that's happening. Why don't we have MSNBC teach us about Borging? Okay. And then after that, we can discuss. We can discuss, how's that? Sure. Okay. Okay, Let's do it.

Okay, here's an MSNBC report from, I think just a couple of weeks ago, on Borg, and what the kids are doing, which I think you'll be interested to know. This sounds a lot like some of the stuff that we were doing. Only I don't think we had a name for it. I think it was just called Thursday after now. This is getting blind, wrong.

It's just called Tuesday morning, a clear channel. Ha! Borg Day, baby! Tonight, even on St. Patrick's Day, college is putting out alerts about the latest TikTok trend to make a splash on campuses. The wave of excess drinking, concerning officials. Blackout, rage gallons, or borgs, are a punch-like mixture of vodka, water, flavored electrolytes, and caffeine. Enough to fill a gallon jug, all reserved flavored electrolytes, and caffeine, enough to fill

a gallon jug all reserved for one person and topped off with a punny label. I'm boring him, fellas. Ween Elizabeth! Some claiming the electrolytes and water help curb hangovers, but experts for an still binge drinking. Oh, yeah. Okay. Holy shit. Yes, ma'am, you are correct. It doesn't matter how much water or electrolytes or caffeine you put in your body if you're drinking half a gallon of vodka, you are going to feel something the next morning. No doubt. And what you're likely going to feel is like the huge gash on your head from falling down

five flights of stairs. This is incredible. I mean, why are they, why do people want to do rage, though? It says rage. I don't know, like they're raging their party. I don't know. Oh, not, I like rage. Solo cups were a thing. You know, we used to do beer bongs.

Yeah. And you know, there's no different than what we did. Never mind. You know what? Keep on boringing kids. It's part of the right of passage. That fun. But what's alarming is how many kids are

going to the hospital after these board parties. It's like it drinking eight to 16 shot to the alcohol and a short period of time. It's still drinking eight to 16 shot to the alcohol, whether it's straight from the bottle or whether it's in your own gallon jug with the fun in aim on it. Just last week, 28 ambulances were called at UMass Amherst for the annual student run Blarney Blowout. I'd say that was definitely the dream of a choice for the event. Amen. Elfakir, a senior at UMass Amherst, vlogged this year's event.

I just got there and I just see all these gallons with, with like these weird puns. Everybody was shoulder to shoulder. It's like literally the size of a football field. I don't know. I don't know. He's like, thumbs up go for all few. I don't know. I don't know. He's like thumbs up already pubed twice. You know what they say? They say purge and return, purge and return.

That's what my friends used to say. We did you got a little too drunk and you're like stumbling around. Hey, B purge and return, bro purge and return. And sometimes I did, because you know, you eventually drink yourself sober, you just gotta get to that point. You gotta get through that really tough part, which is the urge to throw up the uncontrollable eye movement

where you're just like, everything's going everywhere. Yeah, once you get through that part, and maybe a couple hours in the ER, then you can just like Persian return. Yeah. Yeah. Look at you, a bag of vitamins. That's right. ER stands for expel and return.

That's what you do. A lot of kids who were very drunk. The university in town blaming the controversial drink for the rampant hospitalizations. School officials saying it was the first time the university had observed notable use of borks, and they'll consider steps to improve alcohol education and intervention and communicate with students and family. That's not going to work. Guys, you know the definition of insanity is and continue to do the same thing and expect different results. You've been educating students on the dangers of alcohol since colleges became colleges

and the truth is the problem doesn't seem to be getting better. It's getting worse. Less kids are drinking. Less kids are binge drinking. That's good. And for the first time, women are out drinking men. Did you read about that? Women are out drinking men.

Last year for the first time in history. Cheers. Congratulations. Now, you guys be the dumb drugs. And you know, since I was a kid, since. And since I was a kid, since I was before I was a kid, bringe drinking is a part of that. I just got out of my parents house.

No one's here to watch me culture. Why, in my opinion, because we all wear chastity belts around our fucking mouths until we're 21 years old, and it makes no fucking sense whatsoever. It doesn't. If you treat alcohol in the way that it should be treated, everything in moderation and don't make it such a big deal to get drunk, here's the difference between

going to a country like, let's say Spain and a country here. I'm not saying that in Spain they don't binge drink. There's lots of drinkers, right? But the difference is the way they consume the alcohol generally speaking is much different. It's not a brand new thing. No, it's like part of the culture, you have a glass of wine with dinner.

You have glass of wine with dinner, you have a glass of wine with lunch, you might have a glass of wine for breakfast, I mean, it's just the way that it is, but they're not drinking to get drunk, they're drinking the tecthia, Jof, and just because it's part of their cult, like it's part of their bloodstream,

I guess, they're all full of alcohol over there. But it's just weird that you go to a bar, some of these bars in Spain, and you don't see the outrageous obnoxious behavior out of the young folks that you do see here. It's not everywhere. Of course, they have people that like idiots when they're drunk, but I just, you just...

Is it the Americans? Yeah, those are the Americans, right? The bar, the section of Barcelona. But generally speaking, there's just a different attitude toward alcohol over there. Here, anything that you don't want children to do, you then restrict it and you make them want it more. Like sex.

Yeah, like sex. God damn, that's what Brian was like, a little fly player at age 14. I've already been to third base twice. Oh. What's third base? Oh no, I've already been to third base twice. What's third base? Oh, no, I haven't been to third base. I've what's first base? I haven't even been to first base. No, I'm just I'd all the bases mixed up when I first started. We all had the bases totally mixed up. First base was kissing on the mouth. Second base was kissing with a tongue and third base was touching a boob whatsoever. Okay. But then that graduated. Yeah. Now for me third base is a smoky

Blumpkin. A smoky Blumpkin. I just made that up. Smoky Blumpkin. That's the name of this episode. Smoky Blumpkin. I've just made it up. So where you're smoking a cigar, why you get a Blumpkin? Do you know what I'm saying? Do you know what a Blumpkin is? No, I don't either. No, I don't either, but I had one this morning, but I stayed at the holiday in my life. The whole world, the whole world. The drink becoming so popular, Boston University, even warning its students about the risks ahead

of St. Patrick's Day, asking students to consider safer alternatives like using less alcohol and skipping the caffeine. If you don't want to drink rank, you don't have to. You don't have to put any alcohol in your board and nobody would

know the difference. Aaron Monroe is a preventionist with more than 10 years experience, working in schools and on college campuses. What we're trying to do is go and not until good. You're doing it wrong. Nailed it.

But she's right about this. I guess the board is good in one way is that you don't have to drink. If you don't want to, you just pour some sugary soda in there or whatever. Yeah, like I don't do a lot of drinking. I often don't drink at all, right? Occasionally, I'll have a glass of wine, occasionally a gin and tonic. But otherwise, I'm pretty standardly sober. And the reason is because three kids and I keep having a kid every third year can't deal with hangover and kids at the same time. It's impossible. But I've noticed that if I do a gin and tonic and a water, then for some reason,

I just don't like no one ever asks me about anything because I'm like, I got to, here's the gin and tonic and here's the water. But I guess I could just tell the guy, make me a tonic and tonic with a lime, and then I don't have to tell anybody. Or you could just say make a tonic, just tonic water in line. Whatever, Chrissy. I think we're really grasping on straws here and I have a tonic and tonic. I want a TNT. I think a tonic, no tonic, tonic.

Light on the tonic. Yeah, light on the tonic if you could if you don't buy. I want a tonic from that weird smell, fungus growing bar gun. And then I want some more tonic from that weird, smelly, fungus growing bar gun. Makes them, yeah, makes them together. How are these young people to make healthier decisions? And I think they're trying. Yeah, I think they're trying.

They're doing electrolytes. Yeah, they're doing electrolytes like they're taking it in the right direction. Well, how much can you ask of these kids? They got three brain cells between the four of them. By the way, they're showing a video of an ambulance leaving. And it's like a, it's like a pan shot of a street, right? And there's all these kids are still partying around the ambulance leaving.

They got their borgs in their hand. And one guy, one guy had a suitcase from Taco Bell full of tacos. We're asking these kids to make healthier decisions when they do go out and drink. Okay. Got 12 to 24. Shit yourself burritos from Taco Bell. Clean your right out.

Clean your right out. Yeah. It'll let that, you remember when I said purge and return? It doesn't matter which way you purge. You can purge out the front or purge out the back. It doesn't matter. Just have your ass off handy. Oh, imagine if the kids at college reason ask cause.

Oh, yeah, listen, I don't even think guys learn how to wipe themselves properly into like 30. So I'm just saying, I'll never forget. I'm saying this, I don't know why I'm saying this. So that you're a penny enough of me falls yet even lower. I was pretty low already, but that's, that's fall even lower. The first girl that I ever lived with, I was in my early 20s. Let's call it 23 or 24 years old.

And, you know, we're living together. So I'm learning all of the, all the ropes about living with someone. That means that you know how they brush their teeth and when they take a shit and you know, all the picadillos, right? Pick their teeth and they're done eating whatever. This wasn't the stripper, right? Oh no, I did live with the stripper, yes, that's right.

But I lived under her porch. So that was a different story. I'm talking about the woman that I actually lived in the house. Okay. Yeah, I did live with the stripper, but I lived on her floor for like three weeks, and then I literally slept on her porch for like a week while she was sleeping with someone else.

While she had a boy, I was her first boyfriend, she got a second boyfriend, and then she demoted me to boyfriend junior. The board, yeah. Do you mind me and Tom on a hangout for a little bit? I thought we were going out, we are, we are, we are, we are, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it, but we just need our alone time.

Oh, okay. Because I don't live anywhere else to go and not a dime to my name. So, but this, I live with this woman and we're all, this is the woman where I live with their twin sister too. Oh, right. There's a whole fucking chit-chit.

Literally. So, I'm working one day and I have an upset stomach. I'm working, you know, at the chiles. I'm working, I use the restroom, whatever you get to, you get to deal. Her friend is in town, like this other friend of hers from college is in town.

And so I go to work the next day, I come back, we're going out, and the girl in the back, if the girl like sitting in the, sitting in the back of the car, and she makes a comment about how they were doing laundry yesterday, and they caught a comment about how they were doing laundry yesterday and they caught a shitty streak

on my underwear or something like that. And I was like, what? And she was like, oh yeah, it's fucking disgusting and you don't even learn how to clean yourself. Skidmark. And I was like, you gotta be, what? Did you just say that? And my girlfriend at the time was laughing

and she's like, seriously Brian. And I'm like, oh my god, that's this, I'm sorry. Like that's disgusting. And then I said, I'm like, whatever. But I will tell you what, from that hence, stay forward. No matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing, even if I'm at a party in the woods, but if I'm at a party in the woods,

my stomach is locked up, so I don't do anything. Yeah, because there's nothing good about that. You don't want poison ivy of the anus. That's all I gotta say. So ever since then, my whole routine has been different. I'm like, I don't care what level of emergency I'm having with my stomach, I am always gonna take as much time as needed

to make sure everything's clean. That's right. For sure. Speaking of cleaning your anus. G-Z-B. Hey everybody out there in the podcast universe, it's time for the dreaded commercial break inside the commercial break. It's season number four, you've heard it all before, so let's get to it quickly.

You can text us or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-TCB-8383. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas, send them to 855-TCB-8383 toll free from anywhere in the world. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com to listen to any of the audio, watch any of the video, or send us a message, hit the contact us button. Instagram and TikTok at the commercial break. And now YouTube videos, the same day they air on the audio feed, they'll air youtube.com, slash the commercial break.

Chrissy and I are very grateful every time you choose to listen to the commercial break. If you're ever in the market for our sponsors, products, or services, all we ask is that you use the specialized URL's or codes. Thanks again for being part of the TCB family. Now let's hear from those sponsors and we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break. of the commercial break. D-Z-B! Chrissy, I was struggling on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do, and you know how like sometimes I get into those strange, my strange

addictions of freaky eaters and all that stuff, I go to that rabbit hole. I found one that is not the strangest thing we've ever seen or ever heard, but I thought it was like just interesting enough to make the cut. Okay. And by make the cut, I mean, I had no time left to do anything else, but pull this video down. The people, the good people over at TLC have my strange addiction. And now there's a million different versions of it on their online channels called Only Human and stuff like that on YouTube. Only human. They try their best. So they try their best.

I found a guy who literally eats gallons of maple syrup on anything he eats every time he eats for many years in a row. Wow. Can you imagine? No. No, either can I, because I was the guy who was eating cream on frosted Cheerios. I would think you would make yourself sick of it too,

if they were eating it all the time. You would think this is a form of OCD, right? It's called the obsessive eating, obsessive type eating or something like that, and I know we all have a little touch of it. We get something in our crawl and we can't. Oh my gosh, I'm making crispy fried chicken right now. And I can't get enough of it.

Oh, are you? That sounds so delicious. Oh, man, that sounds so delicious. And now. But so let's take a look at our friend here who's decided that, you know, anything goes better with Andrew Mime. Yeah.

And okay, here we go. Let's take a listen. Well, I'll figure this out together, Chrissy. Okay. 26-year-old Daniel drenches all his food in maple syrup. Oh my god, that's a cheeseburger. He's putting maple syrup on a cheeseburger. I got my syrup going.

I put maple syrup on everything that I eat. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Pizza, lasagna. Mexican food, Chinese food. Whatever kind of food I'm going to put it on. Each and every day, Daniel down's more than two cups of maple syrup. That amounts to nearly 2,000 calories a day from maple syrup alone. I love the sweetness, and I'll eat every last drop on that plate. I mean, maybe syrup is good, but... I agree, not that good.

It's not gonna make my pizza taste better. Do you know what I'm saying? Like if you're gonna make maple syrup on waffles, or pancakes, French toast. I mean, you can even go a little crazy and put it on fruit or something like that. Like a banana, I get that. I get that.

Ice cream, sure, why not? You know, it goes good with a lot of things, I'm sure. The pizza is not one of those things. And pizza is already goddamn good as it is. You don't need to put syrup on pizza because then what you really have is syrup with pizza. That's what you're eating. Do you know?

Yeah. You could maybe dip the crust just to get your fixum. Okay, you know, sometimes you go to those restaurants, they have those delicious warm rolls with the honey butter. Yeah. With the honey butter, the honey butter, fuck you and the honey butter. That is so good. Goddamn Houston's man.

If it's the honey, yeah. I'm just going to Houston. I'm telling you, just go to Houston. There's no other choice. Honey butter. Oh. Warm bread with the honey butter. We're gonna take a break from this episode.

Chrissy and I are gonna run down to Olive Garden. Nope. I live in normal childhood, played sports, played baseball, better. We're gonna take a break from this episode. Chrissy and I are gonna run down to Olive Garden. Nope. I live in normal childhood, played sports, played baseball. There was no indication early on that you were gonna become. There was no indications. Yeah, obsessive. You weren't running around licking the maple trees in your neighborhood. Normal upbringing. Well, he was a normal kid, except for he liked to stick his dick in the maple trees. And she was like a second mother to me. She still

make waffles on the weekends. That was my first memory of eating maple syrup. He's their show picture of his kids. Happy times. When the maple syrup. Yeah, what cute kids. Around seven years old, I was really consistently putting maple syrup on food daily. Ever since then, it just grew. Maple syrup does make me feel good. It makes me feel safe when I eat it, because I think about my grandmother.

Baseball was very important in my life. I lived nine day forward. I thought I had a great shot at making the professional level. But I blew my shoulder out playing college ball and it just didn't work out. I'm his baseball, and my life, it's a void too, just like my grandmother. I'm in a crossword right now. Wow, this is like an episode of intervention right now. I started here since so up pretty early, and then I blew my shoulder out and junior league.

He's hitting the bottle. Yeah, that's when she got real. Let's start her going from just a little tasty teenager in the morning to whole bottles in the afternoon. By the way, this shines a light on something I'd like to breach at one point. We won't do it today, but these kids and the way they play these sports today,

I had Northopaedicetic Tommy a very interesting anecdote that I thought was good. It's serious. I mean, it's intense. Everybody has a car, and if you're not doing the right things to maintain your car, you only have so many miles on that car. But you never really know when the car's gonna blow up, right? I mean, in other words, you can only go so far.

So if you're going a million miles in the first 18 years of life, how many more miles do you have for the next 18 years of life? Yeah. So that's why I'm glad I didn't do a goddamn thing until I was 41 years old. So what's up with my life? I run seven days a week, three to four miles. If I kept eating maple syrup without working out,

I'd have a problem. But younger brother David believes that Daniel's obsession If I kept eating maple syrup without working out, I'd have a problem. But younger brother David believes that Daniel's obsession with maple syrup is a big problem already. He's eating habits or catching up to him. He's not as active as he was. He's not as energetic as he was. The maple syrup is... It's coming from the guy who's half asleep. I know. The next few seconds.

People who have that naturally eyes half closed. I know it's nothing you can help, but I don I know. Next few seconds. People who have that naturally eyes half closed. I know it's nothing you can help, but I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, that's the one with that guy. So that dude ups you. Worried about the health effects of Daniel's maple syrup addiction, his brother David is called in freaky eaters experts, Dr. Mike Dow and JJ Virgin. They will attempt to change his eating habits with a weaker experts.

Picky eater expert. Oh, picky eater. Picky eater. It's a freaky. Oh, freaky eater. I think it's a freaky eater. Oh, okay. Freaky eater's expert.

Yeah, I'd rather be called a picky eater than a freaky eater. My wife calls me a picky eater, and I know what that means. That means you're just a fucking pain in the ass. You don't eat anything, and you do it's three things. You eat over and over again. You go to a restaurant, nothing can make you happy. Jesus Christ, Brian.

We went to a Mexican restaurant last night and Astrid were driving home and she's like, so what do you think? It's always this question. Here's my same answer every time. Ah, well, isn't that great. Astrid is like, does anything make you happy? No, not really. Houston.

Houston, let's just go to Houston. Yeah, Sarah. But even then, when I go to Houston, I'm just mad I'm not as another restaurant that I could be. Daniel, yes, how are you? Hello, we're sent by your brother, David. I'm Dr. Mike Dell.

I'm a psychotherapist specializing in... We're sent by your brother, David, to take you hostage. He looks like Ducky Houser. He does look like Do David to take you hostage. He looks like dookie house. He does look like doozy hazard. I mean, doozy hazard. He looks like teen. Yeah, this guy, he's a, he's a Gen Z doctor. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. By Gen Z doctor, he decided the second that he got his, you know, medical degree. What he was going to do is he was going to go into a highly specialized field like freaky eating, like freaky eating. He doesn't have an MD. He's a psychotherapist. Yeah, those are the, those are the kind you just talked to.

And you're really worried they're gonna write a tell-all book someday because they're not obligated by medical code to keep your shit quiet. Sort of eating and addictive behaviors. JJ version. Hello, ma'am. I'm a certified nutrition specialist and a certified health and fitness specialist.

Oh, well, I know 30 of those on TikTok right now. Yeah. Yeah. Seems like every other... I don't know if you're gonna go into it. But it seems like there's a lot of people on my Instagram that all of a sudden are certified nutritional specialists. Yes.

Your brother. That guy who keeps telling me to take, was that silver, the colloidal silver? I have the colloidal silver. Fuck you, dude. Tell us this, you have a little maple syrup problem. Ever had a day in your life without maple syrup? No. No.

I was mad at Dr. Dow and JJ, knew some of my personal business. Let me see. When we got in this bag? So, this maple syrup pair. How long does this last you? About four to five days. When somebody eats this. This maple syrup, how long is this lasting you?

Well, four to five days. As if they're collecting any relevant information whatsoever. I know. Doesn't matter how much you do. I mean, really, they cost them outside of the trailer. I know. Yeah, outside of the traitor Joe. I was sent by your brother. I've never had one person send for me. Never once. Never once is anyone said your brother sent for me. He did? By telegraph or horse postage, how exactly did that happen?

Much of any one thing, that tells me that it is an addiction. Sounds like it's your drugs. Sounds like it's it. I won't go that far, sir. I don't even know you and you shouldn't even talk to me like that. It's just something I do. I don't like it here. Yeah, I just love people who get so defensive, you know?

Yeah, you don't even know me and you shouldn't talk to me like that. Why shouldn't he? But he's telling me about my business and maple syrup is my business. Do you think you have a problem being addicted to maple syrup? No, I don't. He was defensive, angry. That defensiveness is a foam of denial, which is one of the hallmarks of addiction.

We needed a store. Well, if you weren't such a little smug asshole looking like a 16 year old pants three three sizes too big Storage, yeah, they got a storage facility. They just brought it rolled it right up to the whole foods They've got one of those train boxes the the kind you put on the train. I think it's called an inner modal. It's essential that we communicate to Daniel just how much sugar he's eating. You ready? I'm ready. Oh my lord. What they've got is bags in back, uh, 50 pound bags of cane sugar. We've redirected these thousand bags of cane sugar directly from starving children's mouths so that we can prove a point to you, Daniel.

You and us. That is a lot of sugar right there. We used a storage container to stash 912 pounds of sugar, two years worth of what he's eating. Yeah, 2000 calories a day of sugar that you're downing. A man should have no more than 9 teaspoons of added sugar a day. Guess how many you do? More than that. 14 times that amount of.

14 times, okay. 135 teaspoons. I've never seen how much sugar ever in my life. But I'm not gonna change because JJ showed me some sugar. You got me? I like this guy. I like this guy. I'm not gonna change it.

JJ, I was just kidding. Hey bro, I say yaddy you. I fight for your right to eat as much gain sugar as you want. Who's stopping you? No one was stopping me from drinking cream after cream after cream. My wife tried, she locked her refrigerator, she changed at the almond milk, she threw the cream away.

You know what? Just made me want it even more. History of diseases in your family, heart disease, diabetes stroke. You know, I do. A girl with diabetes. Diabetes runs in your family, heart disease, diabetes stroke. You know, I do. I grew up with that diabetes. Diabetes runs in your family.

Oh, yes. You know, this does diabetes. Sugar turns on these diabetes. Jeans for you. Uh-huh. Is that a concern here? No, I'm just going to use my habit. That's what I like.

Daniel doesn't see that he has every disease. Is it the worst thing he's doing? I don't know. He runs every day. Yeah, that's true. I mean, but if you're eating maple syrup on your pizza, is this the worst thing that you're doing? Could it be possibly the worst thing that you're doing? I mean, there's small animals in leather somewhere, right?

Kidding. How many birds need the sugar? How many birds do you need the sugar? How many hummingbirds you think it would take to get me hummingbirds? They do my kids need that sugar also just like those hummingbirds Fucking sugars like crack Once you give it to a man's all they ask for And I'm like no K-A-D-Donut, K-K-K-K-T-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A over my face and I'm like, well daddy got a whole bag of Easter candy. There's one for you and one for you. That's all that's left. Don't bug me anymore.

Daddy's gonna be in the room crashing for three days. A behavior is leading him down that same road that took his grandfather's room. Let's go look at one more thing. All right, all right. Let's go look at one more thing. Why do they have all these train boxes sitting in this parking lot? It's weird and did this guy not notice right outside his apartment? They put a bunch of train boxes and camera cranes and stuff Daniel didn't seem to be affected at all by what sugar could do to his house

So I knew we need to show him something else. A dead person. Oh my god So we exhumed these 45 bodies that could or could not have died from sugar related causes. Each in a different stage of decomposing composition, day one through day 45. Here Daniel, look at that, look at that raccoon eating that man's liver. Is that what you want? Is that what you want? Well, you better stop putting that fucking shit on your bananas. You're gonna end up with a raccoon eating your liver. Look, those man's eyeballs have dissolved like Indiana Jones in the lost crusade.

You really want your eyeballs melting Daniel? Because that's what happens when you eat too much sugar. You know what that sugar does? It turns on the eyeball melting. It happens almost instantaneously. It's a lot of syrup. We've set up. You know what's mouth is all on?

Yeah, I know. He's got a boner. He's like, that's a lot of syrup. I can do it. I got it. What is this? A challenge? A borgie. What is this man versus food? I'm in a borg. Borgie. Borgie was syrup. Give me a bomb. I'm in a burger borg. This shit.

He's walking around with a jug. A jug of just syrup. Water. Oh my god. No. Years worth of Daniel's maple syrup habit. 100 and four gallons of syrup. I was shocked because there's a lot of maple syrup

in front of me right now. We actually want you to pour every single one into that trash. I was hesitant. Oh man, that sucks. That sucks. That's like telling a, I don't know. That's like telling Frankie B to throw out his bow talks.

I mean, it's just hurts so bad. You got to do the one thing, you know this is going to hurt his feelings. One way or the other, these guys like, I got to eat in this. This is so good. Can I have a little bit? Can you see him pouring it out his face as he's trying to pour it into the trash. Can they? Man, man.

Yeah, say goodbye. I was really thinking they were trying to make me mad. Why are you throwing this much away? Yeah, honestly, don't we have a food crisis in some level? Are they trying to solve some problems? Why are they creating them? That's such a waste of food. It's an incredible waste of food. Yeah. Blend down. I don't know why you guys are wasting this much, sir. That's such a waste of food. It's an incredible waste of food. Yeah. Blend down. I don't know why you guys are wasting this much syrup. That's crazy.

It's trash. Trash. Trash, which is what you've been putting in your body. Daniel's angry because this is this jug of choice and he wants it. That's a lot of syrup. You know that can be used. You're going. Used. Used for what?

For my food. What do you mean mean for what this is not food? I can put out of food and make a good thing bad It's increasing your risk for diabetes causing you to lay down fat around your gut You're totally dependent on it. What is it you like? Oh, it's good to me So I care about Daniel got progressively matter and matter during well I trust the therapist to use the word matter and matter. Well, I trust the therapist to use the word matter. What are you?

A character in an Ellison wonderland? Come on, matter. He's coming to take me away. Ha ha. A man, header. Oh, process. You guys are killing me, man. There's usually guys that kill me.

The last one. And by the way, if I- I mean, I would have been like you, so- You're throwing away. I was throwing away. If I show up on a television show and someone's like throw away 18,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 the way, if I- I mean, I would have been like you, so the way. Yeah, I'd be like, if I show up on a television show and someone's like, throw away 18,000 pounds of Columbia's finest cocaine.

I'd be like, no, you do it, but I'm gonna take one of them. I know, right. And I'm not doing your stupid TV. Consider this payment for the TV show that I won't be on. Wow, you look pissed. There's gotta be sticky. It didn't really affect him. Oh, over.

Yeah, I don't know when it was like overflowing the garbage can. It didn't look like the consistency of syrup to me. Is there a nut? Yeah, it looked like the consistency of like, not tea, but something not syrup. It's more watery. Yeah, look like the consistency of like, not T, but something not syrup. Or more watery. Yeah, watery. That tough guy attitude, this, so what?

I'm still not gonna change. When you pour that into your body, it's like treating your body like a trash can. I don't see it that way. Yeah. Even after the shock therapy, Daniel stills pushing back. Shock therapy. Shock therapy.

Listen. I have a super close family member who had shocked therapy for years, and I can promise you that throwing syrup away in a grat trash can in the middle of an apartment complex with two intermodal train boxes next to you is not the same. Come with us. I wanted a little one-on-one session with Daniel where I could really get serious with him about his health. When people eat a high-sugar diet, they store more. That's why I have decided to take off most of my clothing. Hi!

Okay, so this lady, Dr. Virgin, cut to her alone with him in a room, and now most of her clothing is gone for some reason inexplicably. Out around their waistline that puts you at risk for heart disease, diabetes, for stroke. I had Daniel take his shirt off because I thought there was a bit of a gut line. Because I thought there was a bit of a gut line and I wanted to get to it. Now for my next shock therapy, I'm going to pour this syrup all over my incredibly taught body. I'm gonna show you that syrup can be used for something besides putting in your mouth. You know what I'm saying, Daniel? Bam, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, go ahead, step on. So the cool thing with the scales that's gonna tell us, not just your weight, but your body fat. The real shocker came when I looked at his body composition.

You have 42 pounds of fat on you. 42 pounds of fat, that's a lot of fat. 21% body fat. You should be sitting there honestly, 89% body fat. I gave Daniel this information, and I think he heard it, but I wanted him to really feel just how it shaped he really was. So we're gonna do soccer sit-ups.

A soccer sit-up is an especially hard abdominal exercise. You're gonna come up and down, got it? All right, here we go. All the way up. Says the woman who is incredibly fit. I know. Incredibly fit. This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Why are you doing sit-ups with this guy? He's he's not how you're gonna break him of his incredible

habit of you know I'll look at you eating simple syrup 24 hours a day. Okay. I'm gonna move past the exercise here if you don't mind Hoping to encourage Daniel further. JJ wants to give him some alternatives to maple syrup. Oh, yeah, broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli.

Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli.

Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli. Bro, put some syrup on the broccoli. Give them some powdered sugar or something.

Move from like, move from, I don't know, syrup to honey, to powdered sugar, to granulated sugar, and then move away. You can't just wean them off. Everybody knows that. It's like taking a hair when I'd extrude out. Hair when you can't do that. No one's saying, hey, you can't have maple syrup.

What I'm doing is saying, what other things could we add in? I pick some sauces that had some sweetness to them, but also some good nutrition. Where your maple syrup serving has 32 grams of sugar, these have the average about four grams of sugar. By the way, they've put together the most unappetizing. I'm not gonna say the same thing. Are they in television? Do they realize they're gonna look at this?

It's disgusting. It all looks disgusting. I think a fluorescent break room. I know. Yeah. It. Come. I'm off as break room.

Yeah, like that clear channel room. Who knows what was going on there. Right now, JJ wants me to eat healthier, but if it doesn't smell good, I'm not gonna eat it. What we'll start with is yellow curry. Yellow curry. That's a great alternative for serve. This is...

Yeah, isn't curry supposed to be generally spicy and tart? Particularly good on chicken. It just smells weird. I don't think I like this. I'm not going to do that. Hmm. Why don't you give it a little taste? Uh, no.

No way. No way. No way I'll say. Daniel is. Well that's stereotypical. Daniel. Yeah. No way I'll say. I go from April syrup to yellow curry.

What? With a carrot? No. You don't want to go from April syrup to ghost pepper ranch. Ha ha ha. I'll get it. You don't want to go from maple syrup to ghost pepper ranch? I'll get it. We've brought in this special training dog, Nico the ghost dog. He's going to breathe in your face for 10 to 15 minutes.

He just ate maple syrup too. At least stop right there. That's what your breath smells like, Daniel. It smells like a thousand assholes. And very resistant to any kind of change. This one is honey mustard. I can't really tell, I want to like the smell. Yeah, you can't smell it from over there.

You're not playing. You can't tell me sitting over there that you can smell it. You're not playing. You're not playing. Maybe a three year old. Let's get naked. Let's take your weight. Let's tell you how three year old. Let's get naked. Let's take your weight. Let's tell you how fat you are.

Let's do 300 bicycle sit-ups with your extra 48 pounds of fat. And then let's get you over to your dining room that looks like a sterile and sanus islam. Let's throw some cheap croagre party supplies together to make a nice looking table.

I think I've seen better looking tablecloths at three-year-old birthday parties. Oh yeah, for sure. I don't want to eat any of those things. Try it. JJ's giving me that look like. Come on, buddy. Yeah, try some. Boom.

Try this honey mustard now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I thought does I remind me of grandma? That's right. It's not maple syrup, lady. That's what he's trying to tell you. He's not even trying. This guy wants no part of it. Look at these sauces. I know, look at the sauces. There was like, strone out. There's no.

There's no not that. There's the rubber. This puts, and top chef is rolling in its grave right now. I mean, I swear to God, where's Gordon Ramsay when you need him? Where's that Tom Caliclio or whatever his name is? Calicio.

Oh. This one is roasted peanuts and cashews and honey. Okay, I already saw a lot of lightness. Okay. Okay. It's good. I'm thinking I've made progress. He liked it.

I went to tell me before you tasted that. Now he's just going to pour a lens of that over every time. Yeah, now he's just going to have peanuts and cashews. The guy's probably got a nut allergy. He's about to explode. His head's about to turn into a pumpkin. But you got your television show. How much are you?

What's the budget for one of these episodes? 12 dollars? I know. They literally... All the budget went towards the storage container. That's true. They got seven train boxes. And they bought like 70,000 pounds of sugar for no reason to have him pour it out in a trash can. Well, they can't all be winner. They can all have the high production value of 90-day fiancee.

You know, my seven little Johnston. You know what I'm saying? Oh my God. Yeah, what's the online only show? Well, what did we learn today, Chris? It's an online only show. That's right. I don't see that making the big time.

That's not on NBC at 8 o'clock on Thursday. You know what I'm saying? So what do we learn today, Chris? We learned that... For working? That forging is just the same thing we were doing in a different package. Yeah, same gift different package and that gift is alcoholism. It lasts for years.

Yeah, nothing like a little binge drinking to you know kick in those alcoholism genes. Yeah, we also learned that AI, Nate Brian is curing cancer through AI. You can take me for all of that. I already have. Yep. And still not using an ass cloth. Still not using an ass cloth. Not gonna do it. And that we need to just don't start with the maple syrup. No, you can't start because you never need to start it. Yeah. Because then you're never gonna stop.

It's like my mom in that fucking ranch dressing. Pretty soon you'll end up with ranch dressing. Yeah. In your dryer. For no reason. That's how you that, my brother found the... No, not in the dryer. Ranch in the freezer, ranch in the dryer.

I mean, I love my mom, but you know, she had four boys. We drove her crazy, literally. Yes. She's an angel. An angel amongst men. I'll tell you what. Alright, tcbpodcast.com is where you go to, you know, you can listen to the audio, you can watch the video, but Chrissy, you can contact us and ask us for your free 21

EPM sticker. 21 of the Jackalations per month, get your sticker, commercial break, free of charge, we'll even send you a little note, hit the contact us button, send us your address, tell us you want a sticker, we'll give it to you. Also, 855-TCB-8383-1-855-TCB-8383-123 from anywhere in the world. Content suggestions, questions, concerns, comments, we're taking them all and we always respond, we never spam YouTube.com slash the commercial break for full episodes, the same day they air here.

Oh, go to the commercial break on Instagram. Follow us, all right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. So I love you. I love you. That's to you. That's to you. That's to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, we always say we do say we must say. Good bye. Good bye. I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here

I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay hereI'm a seaI'm a sea I'm a sea I'm a sea you