The Commercial Break - Alien Seed & Irish Steed (Best Of | Worst Of)
Episode Date: June 20, 2022A breakout of the virus has caused panic and sickness at the studio. So Bryan and Hoadley take a forced break! Bryan quickly foes through the archives to pull together an episode with material deemed ...to "awful" to air otherwise. Armed with content from a man who lost his virginity to an Alien and a few teens who get sent to Ireland to learn discipline. It's the best of the worst of The Commercial Break Podcast! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey y'all, I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you.
Chrissy and I are so grateful for all of you who have been listening over the last 200 episodes.
It's hard to believe any of you listen to this absurd podcast, and the fact that we've
made it to 200 episodes is just a testament to your enjoyment of and your dedication to
the commercial break.
We've had so many people that have sent us messages, a good will and cheer.
A lot of people have congratulated us on 200 episodes, and then there's a number of people who told us
to stop doing the podcast altogether.
And Chrissy and I figure we're going to give it another 200 episodes and see how this
all pans out.
Chrissy and I had a week of celebration planned for you.
We're going to do TCB games, we're going to go back and listen to some of the old, really
shitty episodes, and poke fun at ourselves as we do of others.
There's only one issue.
Three of the four human beings in this house currently have coronavirus, making the studio
a no-go zone for Chrissy and I to be together.
And rather than bring you lackluster audio through the magic of the inner webs, we've decided
to just take a break and let everyone feel better.
But fear not, I'm gonna do what I've done a couple times in the past when we run into
these situations.
Chrissy and I literally have about a hundred hours of material that's never been released
for one reason or the other. While most of it is just plain bad and that's why we didn't release it,
some of it is good and the baby went out with the bath water. So our archive department,
me, has taken time to comb through that material and bring you the best of the worst of the
commercial break. This is brand new material you've never heard before, cut up into digestible pieces and
smash together for one or two episodes.
Chrissy and I hope to be back together next week creating brand new episodes and celebrating
with you the listener.
In the meantime, feel free to reach out at tcbpodcast.com or 661-237-8296.
I'm stuck in a house with a bunch of sick people
and I've run out of old TLC episodes to watch,
so I really could use the company 661-Best2Yo.
First up on this Mishmash episode of the Commercial Break
our favorite British morning television show at ITV
talks to David, who lost his virginity to an alien.
I'll be back in a little while to introduce
the next segment of this, the best of the worst of the commercial break podcast. Enjoy. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪- if a yes, I think they're at one point are in the future or there has been life, but it could be like a tiny little microorganism.
Yeah, we just don't know what it looks like.
We don't know what it looks like.
It's a Carl Sagan said.
He said, do you think that if this advanced civilization
could travel, you know, eons and seconds
and have this propulsion system
and be out there in the galaxy and find us
a needle in a proverbial haystack,
do you think they would really show up
with a big flying saucer and announce themselves?
Maybe if they were wanted to take over the earth
for some reason or another.
But the truth is, they more likely could like morph into human
being able to just, or they might be amoeba
in collecting information from our computer.
Who fucking knows the whole thing?
We don't know.
I definitely believe we're not the only ones after.
I agree.
But I'm not so sure about some people who claim to have these kind of
experiences with alien like creatures. It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense
to me. Like, you know, the big bobble head bullshit.
And all of the other stuff. E.T. looking thing. Yeah. I mean,
E.T. was not a good looking creature. He was, he was a really bad puppet.
I mean, he seemed to not age well. And that's
why Steven Spielberg begged the studio to allow him to go back and touch that up because
and then it got worse. Like when he did the CGI, it was worse. It was a good, oh, it's
a whole area. Yeah, with his bad hand puppet just coming out of the side.
I saw a card the other day, the store that said, don't feel too bad about yourself.
The mom from ET had an alien living in her bedroom for three days and then now.
Story, you can actually see the light bulb in ET's finger if you look close enough.
You can see that it's like a child's toy like,
ET phone home light bulb, it's so weird. I do believe that there is life out there.
It's my personal belief,
but I'm not concerning myself too much with it
because we've got enough going on here on Earth, right?
So I'm not concerning myself with it.
I just haven't been one of those people that believe that the odds
are against us being the only life in the entirety
of this universe that we cannot even begin to fathom how big
it is. So how are we the only ones that happen to have even if they say like it's you know the
circumstances are one in a cajillion that life would evolve like earth has there's a cajillion
billion other other planets like. Yeah, milky the, yeah, we don't even know. We don't even know.
And it's finally small like my cock.
It's so inswy or so.
It's so hard to find my wee wee.
I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't know either.
So it's like this whole Demi Lovato thing got me thinking back to a article that I read
a couple of years ago about a man who claimed to have had sex with aliens.
He lost his virginity at age 12 to an alien.
Okay.
He has many, many alien babies and he's had many, many alien lovers.
He's a pretty famous guy who runs around telling this story a lot, right?
Is there a dating app for that?
I wish there was.
There should be.
Alien Tinder.
You have a rumble.
Rumble F.O.
Rumble.
I, so I found this guy and I have yet to hear him tell his side of the story.
Like, he, out of his own mouth.
Like, I've read the story.
He's just read the story.
I just read the story.
Would you like to take a listen to it?
Yes, please.
Because I think this is just, I mean, it's too good not to, not to.
If there's anything that's ever been a TCB material,
it's been the guy who had sex with many A. Lee.
Okay, youtube.com slash the commercial break
in case you'd like to follow along.
Here we go.
And oh, by the way, this is from our good friends at ITV,
which I just love these people at ITV.
Oh, okay, good.
Okay, here we go.
And. So you'll fast. Oh, you guys are amazing. here we go. And...
So you'll first be...
Oh, you guys are amazing.
You're amazing, you're going to...
These guys.
It's our morning show.
Oh my God, they're so amazing.
And it says on the bottom,
I lost my virginity to a busty alien named Crescent.
Crescent.
Of course she was named Crescent.
Or is it a heat?
This guy looks like...
This guy looks like the kind of guy that spends way too much time
thinking about what... If I had sex with an alien, what, what her name did.
Right.
He's a New York USA.
Yeah.
Well, I was living on a farm and I was behind our barn playing at the base of a tree.
I was whacking off on the tree when all the sudden an alien came by and said
May I help you?
And I heard someone say, David, behind you, and I turned around and there was this little
harriga coming out of the woods straight toward.
What?
How many... What?
How many-
Hey, David!
How are you?
It's me!
There we go!
They call me a bear!
Now, lean over and spread them out!
All right.
Stop whacking on that tree!
Let me help you out!
And his eyes were like glowing. And he sc he scared the hell out of me. I didn't know
what to think of him. So Scramble.
Are you sure? It was in one of the monster hunters of the cornfields.
I thought it was Uncle Steve after one of his mid-binges. But then I quickly realized, that's the guy I see at the gas station.
I think he's on Monster Hunter.
I found a Uncle Barry.
Back and I ran to the barn and I looked back and he had turned and was going back into the woods.
Oh he's like, oh going back into the woods.
Oh, he's like, oh, I'm not interested.
Oh, here I thought you were a blowjob.
How about a hand shandy from the road?
I was just about to come and get all big quick.
Oh, you're so, You know, rebuffed.
You know, I've been there.
Yeah.
I've been there.
A lot.
I could write a book about all the times I've been like,
hey, what do you think of it?
It's time to go home.
Call me a new book.
Now later that day, I still remembered it
and I went back out to the barn and I was looking
at the edge of the trees and suddenly the little hairy guy stepped out from behind a tree.
Beekaboo!
Kroco!
Hey, hey remember me.
Hey you little bear!
Remember me, little hairy guy?
Want to play with each other's balls? Hey, remember me. Hey, you little bear. Remember me, little hairy guy?
Wanna play with each other's balls?
Are you as lonely as I am?
Let me peek tell that tree.
Why don't we say that he goes later on that day?
I remembered it.
Right.
I was thinking, yeah, I remembered.
Yeah, you live on a farm and a guy, the hairy guy
pokes out and you're like, I remember,
I remember seeing that weird, strange, hairy man
running through the woods with glowing eyes.
Could you forget?
Yeah, there's a lot to do on the farm.
Yeah.
You gotta feed the chickens and milk the,
whatever, the dogs on my shirt.
Now, Trongon ran.
Oh, I'm not surprised.
I mean, that's the,
that's one of the things that obviously
that most people would have done.
But this is the,
the beginning of many encounters
with many different kinds of aliens.
She's the,
she's the her face.
She's like,
trying to be serious. She's trying to be serious.
She's like, I've also had sex with the healing.
And meanwhile, the host is like,
okay, cuddle the barn crap out of.
Oh, we get to the sex part.
He didn't even let him finish the story.
He's trying to tell the story about we had sex with an alien.
We want all the details, not just some of them.
Yes, that's right.
And one of them, one of the aliens that came to see you,
but you became to have a relationship with.
This wasn't just a...
You lost your virginity.
You did?
Yes, I did.
Yeah.
Don't mind if I do.
Wait, I know we skipped a lot here.
It started with a Harry man blowing eyes.
Let me fill you a little bit.
It turned in. Was he like the pimp that was like, here it started with a hairy man blowing eyes. Let me feel you in a little bit. Yeah.
Was he like the pimp that was like,
hey, I got one for you, Cresson.
At 12, he was.
Cresson, get back.
Cresson, get back to this far.
We don't know because they don't,
they don't want to get the actual details.
They just want to know about the sex.
They're like, get to the gratuitous part.
We're trying to make a 15 minute segment interesting here.
This guy, what happened is he had an experience
when he was 12.
He started seeing aliens behind the barn
and all this other shit.
And that kind of grew into being visited by female,
look at like women aliens with female anatomy.
They happen to have big boobs and nice asses
according to him, right?
It's, I'm sure, but if an alien comes down,
they're probably gonna be Kim Kardashian ass.
Yes, exactly.
And he loses his virginity.
And then he can hear him.
He's proud of that.
He's like, don't mind him.
I did.
I said, I did.
I don't want to be bragged, oceans.
But I did lose my virginity to an alien with big tits.
Yes, sir.
That's correct. It's in my book called
Big Titted Alien, now available on Amazon. Number one in the alien's sex category.
And this is crescent, the alien crescent. Yes, it wasn't. Right. Little and hairy like the
guy that you've seen before. This was this was a different form of alien. What did you know? She
was gaping in bald, but I guess that's besides the point
Is it can I say that on television? Oh?
Who wasn't little in it
Kind of wish she was but no sir. She was not I could never get my hands around that little hairy man. I chased it
Look like man. That's interesting. He looks like. Well, she has, I think she wears a wig. I'm not
really sure, but she has black hair. Large black eyes, a very pale face. The human, the
body looks quite human. I think you might be having sex with a human. I think you might be having sex with
like the local school teacher or something. I think she wears a wig. Wouldn't you know that if
you had sex with somebody? Wouldn't you? Yeah, isn't that like run your hand to their hair or
something, especially when you're 17. It's hard to control yourself. You just got, you don't know
what you're doing. You're just kind of grab all over, right? I find this story it's hard to control yourself. You don't know what you're doing. You just kind of grab all over.
I find this story a little hard to believe.
Rather long fingernails.
What, why do you think an alien would wear a wig?
I think for aesthetic reasons.
You painted hundreds of pictures of your encounters
with aliens, some of them terribly graphic,
but you paint those.
They've shown you.
You say that you've far-fired hundreds of alien babies
and they've shown you them.
Yes.
And so, that's an image of them.
That's what you thought they were.
That's an image of me getting ready
to receive an alien cock.
Oh my God, this picture.
This is not looking like a woman.
No, that looks like a dog head.
Yeah, you got to go to youtube.com slash the commercial break and check it out because
they're showing some of his paintings.
And what he's in, he's in a room and on the back wall, there's like, I guess little
cupboards where they keep the whole thing.
He keeps the alien babies.
And then his mouth is open in a 360 circle. almost if is if he's been surprised about something.
I fathered those.
I was so blind.
All of them.
All in glass cases on top of each other.
Yes, they were stacked on top of each other.
And so, so why do you think they chose you as our representative to the universe?
A guy who works in the Delhi camp.
This guy's question is hilarious.
Sir, of all the human beings on earth, why would you sir?
He said that he worked because you were in a Delhi counter.
And a gas station.
You work at the subway at the Chevron in Decatur in the noise.
So why would the aliens pick you?
Dumb, ugly and bored.
What's in Hapokin in New Jersey?
What is it about you?
I don't know.
Maybe it was just because I was a little kid playing at the base of a tree.
And they sold it. A certain other kids that kid playing at the base of a tree. And they sold it.
There's still other kids that are playing at the base of it.
No, that's never happened.
That's an original thought.
I'm going to go play at the base of this tree.
Contact Aliens.
Hey, Mom, I'll be right back.
I'm going to go turn this tree into a space radar with my dick.
Maybe it's because I was having sex with the tree and they were like, well, he's gonna fuck that,
I guess he'll fuck this, just throw on a wig, get some big tits out.
Yeah.
You see that little kid down there, whacking on the tree?
Let's go, he looks dumb enough.
But don't worry, your sex with us will be the key to your forte.
Okay.
You'll help repopulate the universe.
You'll be revealed around your little space earth down there.
People will love you.
They'll see you as a god.
Meanwhile, he said, oh, he's like,
I'm not getting stuck working on this.
I had, I, I, I father. Don't you know do I get stuck working at us? I had I
Father don't you know I am I'm the guy who fathered 120 aliens I
Fuck a bunch of alien chicks. This is what I get
Subway at the Chevron. I'm dealing with daily meats. That should be an impairment somewhere
People should know my name. I should go in a pyramid somewhere. People should know my name, but I should go by one name. D'av.
Right.
Oh, poor David.
I have no idea.
And what do you, do they mind you telling everyone what they look like and that they come
and visit you?
I mean, why don't they just show themselves to everybody?
You know, that's something I would like to know.
Is that you?
Why don't you ask them, David?
If you're having sex with them.
Yeah, that's a good time.
I assume you can communicate with them.
Right.
If you want.
Well, bedroom chatter.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, more, more.
What's so special about me, baby?
Hey, you know, you want to work into it.
Yeah. You don't want to just, you can't go into an alien cold.
They're cold, buddy.
You got a warm a month a little bit.
I'm assuming they're cold.
You know, you got to get there.
You got a tickle their webbed feet,
their creepy little hands,
their creepy, clovey Kardashian hands,
whisper sweet nothings into the, the hole and the side of their head. Hey,
why me? Because you're stupid enough not to tell anybody in a convincing way. They want
to do it on a very gradual level. That's all I can say.
Haven't you asked them? I think if they, I'm sorry. Have you asked them?
There you go.
No, I have it.
It's like I was always there for a reason.
A sex slave.
I was always there for a reason.
One head, one leg up behind my left ear,
then my right ear.
They were playing with me all kind of way.
It twisted me up like a Plexul,
poking and prodding.
Pegging, I came up with Pegging.
I literally had an alien peg.
Now, you're asking a good question
that I don't have a real great answer to.
I never thought to talk to him.
I just set up.
Use me.
Yeah, meanwhile, this is probably like his aunt Bert or something like late at night walking into the room with a salient mascot.
Don't ask questions. Just eat me out to completion.
Oh my God. And he's like, why me don't talk?
Shh, you're ruining the mood.
I would do whatever they asked me to do.
And do you still see Crescent?
I saw her about four or five months ago.
Oh my God.
I got a text message from her a couple days ago.
It's a people pop, poop, poop, poop, poop.
I didn't know what to say.
Here is a butt dial.
I got ghosted by an alien.
It was a butt dial.
It was a tentacle dial.
Look at this.
The person has no arms.
I mean, is she holding up her arms?
Yeah, she's holding up her tits.
I've seen the actual, yeah.
Okay.
She's muscular.
Yeah, this is a human being with a mask on.
It really is.
I think it's actually a guy with a mask on.
I think poor David here is a trauma that's not worked out.
Oh, wow.
We just shouldn't have let her out.
We have to think about taking a photo of her instead of drawing her,
because you paint lots of pictures of them.
Why not take a photo and then it's proof?
I don't think about that.
I think a light bulb literally just went off in my head.
Thank you very much, Miss British lady.
I'm gonna bring my blackberry next.
Next.
I'll go.
Oh, that's her text now.
Be poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, gotta go.
Look at him.
He's struggling to answer this question.
He's like, yeah, I was overwhelmed with the experience.
All the interviews I've ever done, no one's ever asked me that question.
I don't know. I just never have.
Would you do that for us next time you see one?
She's like, okay.
On behalf of all Earthlings.
Please snap a pic.
On behalf of the CIA.
Would you please go ahead and snap that photograph, send it on over to it.
Info at IJV.com.
Thanks so much.
I don't know.
You're asking tough questions this morning.
If I can, yes, if I have a camera, and if they tell me about it beforehand,
yeah, I would do it.
Well, that's not fair.
Because you're 74 now, you first had to encounter
at the age of eight.
And so they, you know, they know you're especially
crescent, you know, you're totally going to know each other.
Yeah, I mean, he has 66 years to get this right.
Literally.
66 years to get this right. Literally.
You've been fucking aliens longer than I've been alive.
You didn't think to get a flashball camera, Polaroid.
Or ask any kind of questions.
No way, ask any questions whatsoever.
No, no, he was really thinking to have sex slaves.
If there are aliens and they wanted to sex slave, they got the perfect foil.
He just doesn't have. I'm just happy to be getting off if I'm being real honest with you. If there are aliens and they wanted to say slave they got the perfect foil
Just doesn't that I'm just happy to be getting off if I'm being real honest with you. I don't care if it is my uncle Dave he's saving up for those that college with all those
There were a lot of the in colleges. It's 44 million yorks
Got himself in this sort of relationship. You might like a little sort of keepsake,
like a little picture by your back. This is my girl crush. I never thought about that.
He's gonna fly like a wall. This is my chick, Cresson. That's a dude with a mask on. No, it's not it's crazy.
Goddamn it.
I knew I shouldn't have taken a big shirt.
It just ruined everything.
Those fucking British television talk show hosts with all their questions.
They're fancy big-sidded questions.
This is a present.
Yeah.
Well, I will if they let me know ahead of time what are they going to do?
Shout for the photo shoot.
Stand by for a message from the storm. Stand by for a message from the storm.
We are coming to your neighborhood.
We'd like to know if you'd like to get extra insurance on your car warranty. Are you having trouble with the IRS?
Zonk and Associates help you.
Oh my god.
This is a message from a dead collector.
Please press one to be taken off the list.
We are here to collect your seamen.
We need more zonk children.
Yeah, I'm a little confused as to his.
Like if you didn't even know they were coming,
he's just, you know, working at the subway
and then all of a sudden boom bam boom in the back room
That's right the door
When Kresset wants it. Yeah, it's a big big did it. Zork walks in and it just starts sucking them off
Crescent yeah, can you hold on on your bacon ranch BLC? I'm getting blown by a Zork
Oh
I got a zork finger in my ass can you what can you repeat your order?
Welcome to subway can I help you hold on one second. I got a zork take it on my balls
That's the one oh
All right, yes Oh Yes I did I saw that his dentures just fell out. Okay, we got to go back to the tape on this one
It did I should move them down
Yeah, I should make fun my dentures are gonna fall out soon, too. Okay, let's go back just
Okay, here we go back just okay here we go. Are you bed?
Oh, right. That's crazy. He's the alien. I think he is. Yeah. He's got indentures. Yeah.
Oh, thank you very much for joining us today, David. It's lovely to me. You're
it's fascinating. Very much for joining us.'s we're gonna allow you to go back a bit deep back in.
He's four guy.
Yeah.
We wait for the photo to arrive.
If you ever managed to get one.
You could tell us.
Oh my God, dude.
If you ever managed to get one.
How do we get this guy on our show?
Because I think this would be a ton of fun.
If you, if you were so lucky, I mean, I don't know if it's lucky,
but if you were the chosen one,
the one who actually had a real encounter
that could be proven, like having sex with a zork.
Like if you had a sexual encounter with a zork,
you go get, you take cotton swabs and you rub your dick
and you put it in a little container
and you send it off to the CIA, right?
You would think.
Something more than what he did.
Yeah.
I mean, he didn't do anything.
He didn't even ask why he and me.
He didn't ask where he is from.
He didn't ask who is going to happen to all my Zorke kids.
Yeah, yeah.
Anything.
Yeah.
Nothing.
Hey, Dad.
This is Billy.
This is David Zorke, Jr.
Me and my friends want to go to the third
Tulasiope universe of the Milky Way for Spring Break. Can I borrow 2020? Can I borrow
260 doing dunks? Who's this? You're 175th youngest son young that it's crazy has nothing
nothing about the get the kids
the sex where they were for i would have so many questions so many
in so many questions you did if you were a man and i would definitely ask for
a selfie yeah i'd want to i'd want to set i'd want a picture
of every one of my alien children so i can put it on the wall exactly yeah
this is number and isn't david number one hundred sixty two is his david jitter number one of the sixty three that I could put it on the wall. Exactly. Yeah, this is David No. 162.
Is this David Jr. No. 163?
Yeah, that's the least the aliens could do for him.
But here's what I'm wondering also is that I think something about his, I think a lot
of stuff about his story doesn't hold much water, probably why he's not more famous
than he is.
Yeah.
But the question remains, how is a man having sex with an alien woman creating alien
children? I don't know. Unless part of their DNA is indeed human. And maybe now things can
start to make a little bit more sense. Maybe that's why the women have breasts and vaginas
is because they are in fact part human. Give birth. Give birth to David Saragit.
Wait, you have one more in there.
I just want to get another one.
I got another one.
Hey podcast fans, it's time for the commercial break inside of the commercial break.
And we want you to know this summer, Chrissy and I are bringing in the world's foremost
relationship expert to give relationship advice.
And we need your questions to ask.
So dial us up 661-237-8296.
That's 661, the word best, the number 2YO-Yo.
Text us or leave us a voicemail at 661-237-8296.
Or you can drop us a line at tcbpodcast.com.
Hit the contact us button and email us your questions. We won't use
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right there at tcbpodcast.com or go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for our entire
video library. Chrissy and I love doing the show for you. We just ask two simple favors in
return.
Number one, if you have an extra minute, go to your favorite podcast player in Levis, a
review, and a rating.
It really does help grow the show, and more people need to know about this ridiculous podcast.
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We'll be back to this episode of THE commercial break.
After we hear from the sponsors, thanks again.
Okay, next up on this extremely sloppy episode of the commercial break, Chrissy and I
earlier this year took a look at a new TV series I had found online named World's Worst Teenagers, as inferred by the title, two terrible children
are kicked out of their house by the real parents to spend some time with their fake parents
over in Ireland. These two teens, a boy and a girl, get television adopted by two extremely
strict Irish Catholic parents. And while it's all shits and giggles with a real mom and dad over in Australia,
they're finding it hard to adjust without sex drugs and alcohol to life under the New Testament.
So without any more aduse, let's get into it.
Here's Chrissy and I having a giggle at yet another lost episode of The Commercial Break.
The world's worst kids and the world's strictest parents. episode of the commercial break.
The world's worst kids and the worst strictest parents. I'm so excited about this.
Yes.
Okay.
The Irish countryside is so beautiful.
It's so beautiful.
So beautiful.
You know, I went to Dublin, but I went to Dublin in the midst
of the worst snowstorms that they had had in 48 years.
Of course.
We landed and then as soon as our plane landed,
they shot.
All white.
I'll say the story real quick.
So, Asher and I go on a honey, on a baby moon
for the first baby.
We go all around Europe and then at the end of the trip
we're going to go to Dublin,
which I'd never been to Ireland.
I'm super excited.
And her good friends live in Dublin.
So we'll see that.
So we booked this hotel room, single room, king, whatever, nice hotel room in downtown
Dublin.
We, as we are kind of getting closer to the trip, it looks like this snow storm is going
to drop a few inches on Dublin.
And the morning that we were to take that flight to Dublin, out of Barcelona to Dublin.
It looked like the storm was gonna get a little hairy.
So I just on a whim decided to call the hotel
and see if I could change it to a junior suite,
to rooms, you know, to bathrooms.
You know, one of the rooms had a couch and a TV
and a little kitchenette and this whole nine yards
and then there was a nice huge bedroom.
And Astrid's all upset.
She's like, why'd she do that?
We don't need to do that.
We're not even gonna be in the hotel room.
And I was like, well, just on the off chance
we get, you know, we get stuck in there.
We land in Dublin and they shut the airport down
as soon as we landed.
Oh, God.
As soon as we landed Dublin, they shut the airport down.
They already have four inches.
It's no, yeah, that's it.
No, you're gonna fall on the last one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and four inches is no, yeah, that's it. No, you're gonna have to go to the last one.
That's the last.
We waited two and a half hours for a cab.
We were in this huge line.
Caps were coming by like every 30 minutes a cab would show up.
And as soon as we'd like driving out of the airport,
the cab slides off the road.
See.
And I'm like, don't you guys know how to drive?
It's Dublin.
Like don't you know how to drive in the snow?
And he's like, we don't see snow. And I was like, you don't get snow. you guys know how to drive? It's Dublin. Don't you know how to drive in the snow? And he's like, we don't see snow.
And I was like, you don't get snow.
And he's like, no, it's Dublin.
And I'm like, I think of Dublin.
I think of snow, don't you?
No.
OK, anyway.
So we ended up getting stuck in this hotel room
for four days.
Oh, wow.
They couldn't check the people out who were in the hotel
already because there was nowhere to go. The whole town was shut down. So people were sleeping in the hotel already because there was nowhere to go.
The whole town was shut down.
So people were like sleeping in the lobby.
They were running out of food.
It was this whole crazy thing.
And then for once in a my marriage,
Brian looked like he did a smart thing.
I'm just letting you know.
Yeah, she did.
When we went through Judy free in the airport airport Harry bought some Irish cream so we could get
into the spirit of things.
Nothing like an hammer on the famous Irish cream.
You get drunk on, I used to drink Bud Light.
I like it in the coffee and coffee drinks but not just banging it.
I would have Bud Light and Bailey's on ice.
That's what I would do. Not together but I would drink them. I didn't put them together but I would have bloodlite and bailies on ice. That's what I would do.
I would, and not together, but I would drink them,
you know, I didn't put them together,
but I would drink them together.
Secret.
But let me tell you something.
Getting drunk on bailies is a bad idea.
Yeah, it's a really bad idea.
Yeah, you're looking to shit yourself
for the next few days.
Are I going for this family to try and change me?
They're going to have to try.
I don't know what he said, because they bleeped it out, but I'm sure he's a...
Oh, is that really fucking hard or something?
Fuck me or something?
I said, please, good luck.
Good luck.
Yup, this pair plan on pushing the boundaries every chance they get.
Yep.
Yep, this pair has no idea what's coming to them because we've legalized corporal punishments
I'm gonna hide my smokes again cuz I got an out of a smoothing ball
I've got tiny payments. Yeah, they're not gonna frisk you
No, Emily, they're not gonna frisk you not unless you break the house rules
Put him near your balls.
They're not going to touch that.
That's right, Jim.
They won't touch that unless they want to.
I'd hate votes living in the same family.
They're both living in the same family.
Oh, that family took something on.
Yeah, that makes them more interesting.
I guarantee she's pregnant by the end of this.
Hi, Emily.
I'm delighted to meet you. Glad to see you. Glad to meet you. I'm going to kick the hellish shit out of this. Hi, I'm Emily. Delay to meet you. Delay to meet you.
I'm going to kick the hellish shit out of you.
Children, this is Evelyn.
Hello.
This is Harry.
And Barry.
Yeah.
And Rihanna.
Rihanna.
And Thiervine.
Rihanna.
She's there in Ireland.
Yeah.
So let me get this straight.
Two shitty kids from Australia get flown to the same household
and ran them in, you know, in nowhere Ireland.
Yeah.
To live with this strict Irish Catholic family.
That's huge.
And there's four other families.
And there's four other families.
And there's four other families.
That's what they're known for.
Yeah, there's four other kids.
My mom was one of eight.
I mean, so there's four other children all around
looks like in the similar age.
Yeah, very close.
Like teenagers.
Oh, this is going to be a ton of fun here.
I hope they're all smoking dope by the end of this,
like the whole family.
Like the dads.
The kids changed them.
Yeah, the dads streaking around the backyard.
I would have started 20 years ago, had I known.
How is, thank you.
Come on, it is.
We're going to treat you to very, very same as our own children. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm college. Oh, that's right, yes.
So the mother, the Irish mother who is taking on these two,
you know, derelict children is basically a psychiatrist.
A mind Jedi.
Mind Jedi for teenagers.
For teenagers.
Well, I have a feeling she's gonna have a hard time
cracking this girl.
Yes.
The guy, you notice when she said hide the smokes in your pants,
he got nervous.
He was like, should I really do that?
She's like, of course, I'm not gonna touch your balls.
And did no problem with it.
We don't drink, we don't smoke.
We don't curse or swear, use bad language.
We're fairly strict about that.
No going out during the week, socially.
I like it the other way.
Oh wait, one of the children of the parents, you know,
the household there is like, poppin' candy in her house.
She's like, this is gonna be interesting.
She's like, I'm poppin' candy,
because I can't smoke right now.
Oh, this is gonna be funny.
Yeah, good morning.
So, on those rules, I think, go grand.
What's the porn music in the band?
Oh my god.
And that's when shit got weird.
Turns out we may not curse a drink, but we're swingers.
Put your keys in the bowl, kids. It's about to get wild.
Right now, outtain ages see those rules as a challenge.
In the Harry house, more alcohol needs me. right now, out 10 ages, see those rules as a challenge. She's got a bottle of wine under the bed already.
It's already half drank.
I think she's in her alcohol.
I think she needs rehab.
That's a fucking Irish.
Well, I guess this might be rehab.
I don't see there very much.
My hair.
My hair.
My hair.
My hair.
My hair.
But then again, John.
I don't think there's an hour.
That's right.
And they haven't done any, they haven't really experienced family life yet. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. following the rules, that's why you're here. She's terrible, actually, not incredibly smart.
Each of us would be claimed at a higher standard
as being complete by 8 p.m.
Five-year-old reduction from allowance
were not up to the mark per mum and dad.
So they would actually take five-year-olds here.
Yeah, socks.
Five-year-olds.
That sucks.
Five-year-olds buys our hand-full of condoms.
Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha.
I, so the two teenage girls, the Emily, the girl, the Darrel,
and then one of the family teenage girls
are sitting there reading the family rule.
On the refrigerator, post it.
Fifteen pages long, yeah.
Yeah, it's got everything.
It's like, you know, do this, do that.
And I can already tell she's going to be
about influence on this poor girl.
Yeah. Because like 10 Australian dollars. I don't know. And I can already tell she's gonna be a bad influence on this poor girl
Because like 10 Australian dollars. I don't know, but if my own trust take 10 bucks of me, I'd be like
Bish I hope the Australian teenagers know what they're in for. I think they'll get a bit of a shock at the start
But hopefully by the end of the week they'll adapt
Hopefully by the end of the week we've'll adapt. Hopefully by the end of the week, we've all broken the coop and go down to the club.
We're going to Berlin for a bit of Dixho.
We're gonna go look at some Pizzle paintings.
Thanks, pretty god. This raid has nearly stopped.
Oh, thanks for the god.
So this week, the horses will play a big part
in Emily and Harry's routine.
Oh animal therapy.
I agree with that.
Yeah, getting animals out there.
Yeah.
Okay, now kids stand behind the horse.
You're really loud.
Two, three.
Since Evelyn has been six years of age, she has come out harsh riding with me on a regular
basis.
And it always has to have a one-to-one chat with them,
you know, and you really get to understand your child
and know more about them and understand
what issues they're having.
Sounds like you're the world's most approachable father.
Right.
Like that conversation goes down,
like you're really learning about your child.
Your child's scared shitless of you.
Now, listen, I'm not yet a father of a teenager,
so I don't know, this might be exactly how I parent parent my kids but I don't know this sounds a little bit beautiful
yeah looks beautiful wow let's go to Ireland yeah we know our friend Rachel went for a month
yeah I know she went for a month yeah we have other friends who like they went on like
the Guinness sentiment of oh right oh galvan and apparently it was a total shitsho. I mean, Dublin is even a little of a snowstorm.
Dublin was packed full of drunk people.
Right.
I mean, and God bless.
It was such a beautiful town.
And I loved it.
And everyone was very lovely there.
But there was a lot of people.
Between Genneth and Irish whiskey.
Yeah.
What are you gonna do?
So up straight now, we need to put your shoulders back.
I thought we were gonna
actually ride today but you know we're just going around and cycling some of the little
horse. What are you expecting? You're expecting to go
galloping down to that field. You're expecting to ride like the old spice guy around the mountains
like around the rolling hills of Ireland. You're a shitty little 15 year old from Australia.
Rolling hills of Ireland? You're a shitty little 15 year old from Australia.
It's your hands out of your pockets.
I already don't like this kid.
Yeah, yeah.
What am I?
Don't talk about.
Horseman, you look like an idiot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That horseman, you look like an idiot.
I'm so pissed.
What did the horse do?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know because they just
showed it walking around yeah
I'm like
He's a little shit. Yeah, yeah, you already look like a video, but then you got on that horse and all the fun
You really look like a dumbass
You got them mate. Okay fine
I think he is a horse right?
Oh well, but he... Oh! Get for you!
That's a years of horse riding.
I'm basically David Hasselhoff on the back of the horse.
Fuck off!
Dancing with the horse.
I know.
I'm getting closer.
Riding through the open field.
The golden oaks of Mid-America.
Yeah.
Like literally dark't keep you.
No, we don't sit in more discerning what's in online.
The cursing started to become an issue.
And what I really find most worrying about is that it's just so deeply ingrained into
her everyday language.
Sorry.
Go was an accident.
I didn't mean to.
And I did literally mean that I accidentally said it.
Ah!
Ah!
Listen, first of all, cursing is the sign of a fucking intelligent person.
Maybe not in these two cases, but, you know, in general.
Yeah, using the right thing.
I need to understand why people get so upset.
Now, my son runs around the house and he repeats everything that's said to him.
So if I say shit, he says shit, right?
If I say fuck, he'll say fuck.
And I have to explain to him that while it's like a dance you do,
you know, you're like, don't say that now, right?
Let's say that later, don't say that at school,
you can say that at the house.
It's a house word.
Yeah, like it's just a fucking word.
Words are not dangerous necessarily. Yeah
What did she say she said she said she's
A
And one about Aussie teens is heading for a showdown with her new strict parents
As ours is really like we're excited. I see this those horses are like, we're excited to see this.
Those horses are standing right in the gate, staring at the ass.
Woohoo!
Hurry, mom!
I, as you show, throw them that girl in,
but like, right off.
Woohoo!
I'm going for the redhead!
Woohoo!
Move that pier, those two piercings.
Yeah, would you do that, so please?
Oh, he wants her to take out the piercings.
She's got to lift piercings.
It's my piercings.
She'll have to take them old before she goes to school.
Otherwise, there will be problems.
I'm not taking them out.
Yeah, but you also said that you'd
try it airway for the week.
So if I was in that position, I would just take them out.
Yes, that's what it is. I mean, a lot easier. Yeah, don't understand how hard
my dad's hand is. Yeah, you don't want to meet the back of
a paddle. If I were you, I'd just take a please take
something about everybody's life easier. You're like the
fourth stranger we've had here. And two haven't returned.
Right.
My dad said they went to the airport.
We don't think so.
We need to do.
I don't like her anymore.
So, if we believe what you are, how are you going to school?
So now they're going to school with these kids.
They're actually going to school.
I guess so.
Yeah.
You want to rest your name as well at least.
I need to make my bed at home.
I hate making my bed.
There's no point.
I'm also not going to wear the black shoes.
I'm just going to wear the black shoes.
If there's one thing that I wish I had done
since the beginning of my life, it's make my bed.
Oh yeah, it makes everything just better.
Yes.
I cannot go past 10 in the morning in this house
with an unmade bed. Yeah. It just does it. I wanted to be like a hotel better. Yes. I cannot go past 10 in the morning in this house with an unmade bed.
Yeah.
It just does it.
I want it to be like a hotel room.
Yes.
I want it to be smooth.
Yes.
I'm ready for the evening.
Ready for the night.
That's right.
And if I lay down for an app, I lay down on top of the covers
with a blankie.
Yes.
I don't wear dirty pants or no shoes out in the bed.
No.
No shoes out in the house, really.
It's probably just the best policy.
But I like the room to smell good,
which is a challenge because blue shit is everywhere.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, update on blue shit.
The other night I was working in the studio,
and I had the baby gate to separate blue and Niko
at nighttime because Niko coughs and, you know,
the rat chases them around and stuff like that.
So I tell blue explicitly, I say, go to your business on your pad or outside.
Don't shit.
She looks at me and she knows what I'm talking about.
And then she goes and yeah, right.
No problem at all.
So I think she's laying down right here next to me with
in the editing room and then I can start to smell shit.
And I'm like, motherfucker, so I walk out the door
and there she shit right outside the door.
So now, but two minutes earlier, I said,
go, it was your little present.
Oh my God.
So then I'm cleaning up that shit.
And she's down the hallway, shitting again
and the other side of the shit.
I'm like, you fucking little chasing her around.
Like, boom, stop it.
Now my daughter is like, this is my daughter goes around and she's like
Because all I say to that dog is dear business on your bad
I think how we just stop laughing all together
Well, that wasn't funny. Let's try something else
all together. Well, that wasn't funny. Let's try something else. Let's go back to the show.
Ollie, win some, you lose.
I want to talk to you, please.
No, no, it doesn't all talk to the principal.
The principal in distance.
Emily, what do you do? What do you don't like?
Okay, please take a moment. No, because I must go to work as well.
I'm going to wrap up and read about your lip. What do you do? You do you don't like? Okay, please take them out. No, because I must go to work as well I'm gonna rather than read about your lip
What do you do you don't like?
Got to smack your head onto the granite of this countertop because you are
I want to talk to the principal I want to talk to the principal she's saying that she's saying that like she's gonna
Get away with it like the principal is gonna go. Oh you know what you you're right. You're right.
Lip piercings for all. You're going to an Irish Catholic school. They're not
gonna let you have a lip piercing. You gotta have two cents in your head. I didn't
say anything. I didn't agree to anything. Emily for you, when I get on you need
to understand a small and thinkable discipline. Okay. Is it what we say goes. I
need you to slip out to buddy
But I'm just thinking of the her mother
While she's
Like having a ranger
I know she's like drinking with the 80 year old 40 year old neighbor and the neighbors like I'm gonna do your daughter
And the mom's like I can't control anything
And the mom's like, I can't control anything. I'm glad the mom's really popping popcorn much.
Let's see how the dad handles this.
Meanwhile, back in Australia, there's a three-way going on with mom and the neighbor.
She's decided to change her name and move to Jamaica.
He's got British.
Yeah.
She's legally signed Castanille guardians ship over to the Irish Catholic family.
I can't remember the name.
Who cares?
I mean, if you just knew how hideous it looks.
Okay.
I know.
She put a piece of tape over her lip ring.
She put a piece of tape.
So she didn't take it out.
She didn't take it out.
She put it tape.
I guess she's afraid maybe it would close up.
It's not going to close up in a day, is it? No. I guess it's what she just got to tape it. I guess she's afraid maybe it would close up, but she's not going to close up in a day, isn't?
No, I guess it's because she just got it.
Yeah, I've never had one.
Because I don't want to take it out.
Not acceptable.
You're not leaving here with a body piercing.
Clearly, Emily is not used to being told what to do and when to do it.
And these are little issues that she needs to get over.
That looks horrendous. It's disgusting. Take out the whole at once. I'm not telling you that. Emily, these are little issues that she needs to get over. That looks horrendous, it's disgusting.
Take out the whole at ease.
I'm not telling you that.
How many days are not your decisions?
Yeah, they are my decisions.
I have to wear them in my face.
None of the people from our house
will wear things like that going to school.
It hurts us to have you
who represent our family wearing something like that going to school.
It's staying in.
Take it out, okay?
And this is like, you know the cameras weren't here.
That dad would be like,
because this, I don't, I do not hit my children.
I don't spank them, I don't smack them.
But that's not to say I might never, right?
I mean, I'm reserving the right to figure that one out
later on down the road. Like when this shit happens, I would never, right? I mean, I'm reserving the right to figure that one out later on down the road. Right.
Like, when this shit happens, I would just,
I mean, this is, yeah.
This is what teenage shit headness is all about.
It's like, I will not do it.
Yes, you will.
I will not do it.
Yes.
What do you do?
It's a standoff.
Yeah, it is a standoff.
What do you, and how do you discipline in this way?
I already start, yeah.
And mom, the psychiatrist here.
Yeah, I guess she's just.
Yeah, I don't know where she went to school, like Phoenix University or something, because
she's not handling it.
Yeah, she's not handling it.
It hurts me to have you represent, oh, it's like Lee Samily.
And Emily's like, I don't know the fuck.
I don't know what the fuck you are.
I don't care on represent.
My mom needed an extra $1,000, so she signed me up for the show.
She's boning Mr. Graves and Jamaica right now.
What do I care?
Sister's a beautician, okay, and if
If it needs to be repears, I'll make you a present hopper, okay?
A compromise gets Emily I've the lawn
Looks west with just the hole that's okay. No, that's okay. That's okay. Don't give a shit, Emily.
You don't understand.
I don't give a shit.
He said her sister, meaning the mom's sister,
the aunt is a beautician,
and she will repure she'll live if it closes up.
Yeah.
He went from being a disciplinarian
to being a negotiator,
which apparently is what you're not supposed to do,
or children.
You're not supposed to negotiate with them.
But she's not happy.
So meanwhile, what's it made?
I don't have a cliff.
Bob Jam.
From her.
He's smarty.
He is.
He is. He is. He Jam. From her. Okay, that's not from her. Yeah. He's murky.
He's murky.
He's murky.
He's like, they're both riding in the back of the car.
They got one camera pans to her, and she's like, basically crying because she had to take
out her fucking lip piercing.
They didn't look good in the first place.
Yeah.
And then they pan over to him, and he's like, that's for the horse joke asshole.
I'm definitely going to be more of a, now because I'm trying to be really nervous. That's for the horse joke asshole.
I'm definitely gonna be more of a now because I'm gonna be really nice.
More of a shit, huh?
Yeah.
That would just be so.
I was trying to be really nice.
I was trying to be really nice.
It's made me realize what I had to explain to me.
No one likes girls.
I mean, I'm sorry, but Emily, you're not on your own.
You're not, when you do, when you get a job,
you're doing your own thing.
And you have your own house.
Yeah, you can do what you want,
but this is not.
Realize how 1992 lip piercing is,
especially a lip piercing that's up near your nose.
It's like, you didn't even get it done correctly.
You're gonna, you're gonna realize,
I wish I just had a little bit of common sense.
You know, there's a lot of stuff going on in my house
when I was a teenager.
A lot of stuff.
But I wish for a second that this Brian, my Brian,
like, you know, this,
the version.
The version.
And maybe he is.
Maybe I am talking to the, you know,
in some universe I'm talking to the younger version of myself.
So maybe I could have ended up a lot worse,
but I wish that I would have had a little bit of foresight
or the ability to have hindsight
because I don't think I would have been such a shithead.
Because how many times I could have been killed
or murdered or just dumb shit that could have gotten me
in way more trouble than it did.
And Emily has no clue.
Well, yeah, you just don't.
But when she's a single mom,
and she has her own little shithead daughter,
I guarantee her turns to change.
I bet.
I bet.
Hey there, Mr. Herne.
This is Emily.
Hi, Emily, how are you?
Thanks, Emily.
And that means more rules. Hi, Emily. Hi Emily, how are you? Thanks, and that means more rules. Hi Emily, please sign this document here
so as I can chain you to the basement floor
should you disobey any of my rules.
Thanks, have a nice day.
It's school.
Bye-bye now.
LAUGHTER
Full attention and cooperation to each teacher during class.
To refrain from anything which interrupts the teacher
or disrupts the class in any way, to refrain from leaving to college premises during
school hours without the express permission of the college authorities.
What's your role about mobile phones?
Basically, we left people, have their mobile phones hurry, but you put it into your bag
and you turn it off.
What's your role about mobile phones Harry, but you push it into your bag and you turn it off. And we're signing.
Yeah, what's your rule about mobile phones?
In which school is it okay to just have a mobile phone out?
I guess some public schools are just like, you know, they have no control over it.
Yeah, but I mean, I think you're not supposed to have it during class.
Now, no, that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, it does.
And kids are on their cell phones, scrolling through Instagram,
and smack them across the head.
I think you're a contract that says they will abide the rules
Whether they break that contract
Falls again, Lee, man
Well, I'll clean up Oh
Man he's got to change his shoes. He was wearing like white like sneakers first of all I can smell those sneakers through the fucking Oh my god, it looks like like my dog Martin's from 1992 right? Yeah, they were right. Yeah, the first shirt. Okay, so we're two vice-thirds pushing the calls.
And then we're going to...
He's listening to headphones in class.
All right, take the windows.
Come and join one.
Nope.
So put it in your pocket, switch it off and put it in your pocket.
Oh, Harry.
So there's some questions here.
Harry, if you put your feet on the floor.
Man.
Yeah.
Can't do anything.
Man.
School sucks.
I can't whack off in class.
I can't murder anybody.
This is my man.
Can't smoke pot.
This is a school's shitty man.
We should take my fun away if I use it again.
I really wanted to say why I would get why was at this new school.
I do that at every school I've been to.
How many schools have you been to?
I tried.
I've done that at all.
26 schools I've been to.
I'm actually an undercover police officer.
27 schools. 21 schools. 21. 21 dumb street.
Just string me tomorrow if he does one thing,
how should we just give me a ring and I'd be in here
from straight away. Sorry again about that.
I'm going to find out. Oh, I was really disappointed
that he couldn't keep his word for a few hours.
Oh, he got kicked out of class.
Everybody has to be kind of condescending and annoying people around him.
He's peers and he's teachers.
Harry, could you come here a minute?
He doesn't give a shit.
Don't you know this?
Yeah.
Firstly, you had a mobile phone in school in use.
You took off your black school shoes
and put on a pair of runners in school,
and then you got a load.
And thirdly, you were cheeky and insolent to the teachers.
Shaky.
Which is not.
Thirdly.
Here's what you said thirdly.
Thirdly. Love the Irish accent. Thirdly. The rest you said thirdly.
Thirdly.
I love the Irish accent.
Thirdly you are cheeky, insolent.
You think Harry knows what that means.
Load?
Did you read the code of behavior?
Look up at me now and then.
What I can't understand is,
when you would deliberately disrespect me.
They're having a major conversation with them.
Meanwhile, Harry is tuned to fuck out.
Oh yeah, he's like, I don't care.
Harry is wondering when the mass casualty event
is gonna start.
I mean, this kid looks like he's about to explode.
Yeah.
Within hours of the court of behavior,
being read in front of you.
We want your runners, and I want your phone.
Okay, but above all, I want your absolute word and your absolute trust.
As a young man face to face with another man.
Why do you use that degree?
What an educator work.
Face to face with another man.
Totally. I want, I want you words face he's gonna get it. He's gonna get it. He's gonna get it. What does he care?
He doesn't care.
No, he does not.
Yeah, I guarantee Harry breaks the rules.
Yes.
Harry wouldn't be shoveling a lot of hot soup before he sees it.
I don't think it's fast.
He's gonna be shivering.
He's gonna be shivering.
He's gonna be shivering.
He's gonna be shivering.
He's gonna be shivering.
He's gonna be shivering.
He's gonna be shivering.
He's gonna be shivering. He's gonna be shivering. He's gonna be shivering. He's gonna be shivering. He's gonna be shivering. Harry will be shoveling a lot of horse poo before he sees it. I don't think it's fast.
He's gonna be shoveling a horse poo.
That's exactly what Harry needs to be doing.
He does need to do that.
I'm just gonna grab my hand.
I'm gonna grab my hand.
I'm gonna grab my hand.
Harry dies. BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
BAM!
BAM!
BAM!
I think you can find it over.
Walk a bit quicker, okay?
Come on, I'll be here after that.
You'd think that'd be enough to teach any teenager a lesson.
There's no such luck.
There's more bad behaviour to come.
Disgusting. There's such luck, there's more bad behaviour to come. It's disgusting. Early morning in Ireland, and 16-year-old Emily's already been up before school, to go horse
riding with Evelyn.
Wow, that's nice.
There you go.
It's amazing, I've never met anybody.
Who's there to pick it up so quick?
Yeah.
Not bad for a teenager who dropped out of school
and normally sleeps till lunchtime.
Oh, she dropped out of school at 15 years old.
Wow, that's young.
We have to teach her to tell you, Taga.
I can master a horse, but I'm yet to master the tide.
I can see with Emily that her priorities are changing,
body piercings.
I didn't hear about body piercings.
These have gone down in Emily's priority list.
And she's really nice.
And because, because this poor single mother has lived with Emily all her life. Emily got a taste
of the wild life back in home. This is not to say this isn't going to change. It's a second
that she gets home. But she got a taste of the wild life. And she found some comfort there
because she thinks that those people, first of all, goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes,
she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, she goes, little bit of support and discipline. They want it. They might. Just like I do with blue. Yeah, that's work.
Just like blue.
They turn the corner and they're on the straight edge.
Yeah.
Right.
That's what they need.
That's what she wants.
That's what she's crazy.
Well, she's part of a family too.
Yeah.
Brothers and sisters, two parents.
Correct.
She got horses, eyes, eyes, country side.
That's beautiful.
Yeah, I think they're gonna have to adopt this kid
if they give him her any chance.
Yeah.
She's gonna go back to it.
She doesn't want to go back, I don't think.
She's gonna go back to that shitty looking junkyard it's the boy is gonna be harder to break
Yeah, well the boys angry and anger is a different thing writing
Being involved actively and with the horses has come so much up
As for Harry you I've been changing
Ha ha! This is cool. It's gonna be a best chance to get your wag. I will.
First time you get a wag?
I'm not prepared to trust.
I made a move!
I can't find barrels.
I can't wait to see what's going on there.
A thousand mission here to find the missing clues.
A, the tain age, a just yet.
Maybe you're planning of an absent person.
Smuggling drugs.
She's gonna her bag check.
Wow.
You're okay.
You're okay.
She has nothing.
Check it.
Harry.
What's her day showing in here?
What?
Please.
Oh.
Oh my shoes.
I forgot.
I forgot they'm in there.
Why, why does he love those shoes so much?
I don't know, they're disgusting.
And they're from Kmart.
We're gonna have her like, she's like, ah.
I know, Emily is now,
Emily's like, I don't know how to play this game.
It was Harry that was smirking before,
and now Emily's like, you're the shit head down.
Mm-hmm.
So ridiculous.
It was just going to, today,
today you're going to school to let you go into school.
And not check your bag because I was building up trust in you again.
Screw that up here.
Yeah.
How short is that tie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really learned to tie a tie to the second button.
He looks like...
Halfway down.
It's Ronald Trump.
Yeah.
The most important thing you're going to do this morning. That's my little Trump.
Turns out that promised didn't mean much.
The Harry barely makes it to morning tea.
And he's out the school gates already. Oh, he's just leaving school.
Oh, why did he miss this morning tea?
Morning tea!
In this town.
Who, what teenager in the right mind? This morning tea! Morning tea! In this town. Who, what teenager in the right mind?
This is morning tea!
I'll probably do whatever.
I really can. I was on this out of school.
That school.
It is left.
Now he's changing.
Now he's changing in a park. Where's he gonna go?
He's 15. He doesn't have any park.
I know. Oh he't have any money. I don't know. He's foreign country.
I know.
Oh, he takes off the shoe.
Oh, he had a change of clothes out underneath.
He had a whole outfit out underneath.
And he leaves the school grounds.
He goes to the local park and he sheds his clothes.
And now he's ready to go to the German Dildo club.
I mean, where are you going, Harry?
I mean, the bar.
That does seem like they drink.
I don't think I think there's no drinking age actually.
Right.
Did he suck?
Oh my god.
That's blue!
There's blue!
Where's blue sitting in the window watching Harry fuck off.
I hate it.
This is like, go Harry!
Get him, Harry!
Run!
They can so angry. Oh, wow.
So mad.
God, see.
She's the mother having to drive her
and look for him.
Yeah, well, I mean, it can't be that big of a town.
I mean, they're in the middle of nowhere, Ireland.
Yeah.
And I guess the school alerted.
He's gone.
I would think you didn't even take his money.
I would think you probably have a way to figure out
if your children are still there or not.
You take attendance or whatever it is.
God, how many times I skipped school?
We've seen that Harry left the school building.
He's my responsibility.
And I don't know.
How do I can find him at all?
Oh, he's smoking cigarettes.
It's ridiculous.
He's like, he's showing like an alleyway.
Like one foot up against the wall, smoking a cigarette.
By the way, how hard could a kid be to find?
He's got a camera crew with him.
Right.
How hard is a camera crew in a tiny little town in Ireland? How hard could he
be to find? I'm looking for a 15-year-old boy, blonde,
air-green, new farms, indeed. She was a bank camera. Oh yeah? And he went up that
bridge. He's been spotted. Oh, he's been. The whole town's on to him.
He's been a fine lecturer when he comes back. I'll give him a fine lecture when he comes back.
Go to Hyves and Teen.
Then he has this out of a coffee and crumpets.
Ha, ha.
Oh.
What's the rest I can do?
I don't know.
He could be smoking or drinking or doing something totally leading.
Yeah, you don't know what he's doing.
Oh.
Oh, he's putting his clothes back on.
Put the pants back on.
Yeah. It wasn't me. It wasn't on. Put the pants back on.
It wasn't me.
It wasn't me, but it didn't do it.
Stop, Harry.
Where were you?
Where were you?
I'm sick, worried.
Looking for you driving up and down the streets.
Looking for you around here.
I don't want to be there.
Oh no, she's it.
I'm horrified and disgusted with you.
Getting to the Jeep and we go home and I'd have to give you a good talk into.
Nothing like threatening a kid with a good talking to.
Of course when you're a kid maybe that's a big deal.
When you have a good talking to you coming to you?
Yeah I don't know.
Yeah I don't know because it's been 30 years since anyone's given me a good talk.
Now I get a good talking to you but I'm like why?
Anytime she's mad at me, I see it on the,
she's like, I think we need a talk.
Yeah.
What did I do?
The Daning Bed again?
You know.
Okay, there you go.
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you