The Commercial Break - Are You Sitting Down?!

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

Bryan has a bird's nest on his front door and the resulting nursery of birds is scaring the whole family! As the baby birds are hatching his kids are learning the circle of life isn't very pretty. Bryan recalls a phone call where his friend asks those 4 little words no one wants to hear: Are you sitting down?! He learns that his ex-flame is the star of an orgasm tutorial website. What will he do?? Finally, The Vagina Queen is a public access persona in Atlanta. She has her finger on the pulse of men and their insatiable appetites for...well..sex! *** WARNING Extremely NSFW**** LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is Black Kainite. It's pretty special because of the metaphysical properties. Yeah, it helps align your chakras, like your heart chakra, like different stones resonate with your heart chakra, your root chakra, your crown chakra, throw chakras, and whatever chakra. On this episode of the commercial break. So I got the circle of life happening right here in my door. I think it's very sweet. Yeah, and I'm just waiting for where the hawk to come down to eat one of those little suckers. Aaaaah!

Aaaaah! And then that machi got daddy. What's going on? Circle of life, son. Circle of life. It's meant to be. It's meant to be. Sorry.

Sorry I didn't see that. This is the guy. Yeah. He was written a book called orgasmhelp.com or succeed orgasm.com or whatever. If you write a book, yeah, it's like Brian on the commercial break, being an expert of everything and knowing no facts. This guy is that guy. I am this guy, this guy is me only.

I didn't dedicate a whole website to my bullshit. I did TCP podcast. That's not good. A whole podcast? Whole podcast, a whole website to my bullshit. I did TCP podcast. That's not good. That's not good. Hold podcast. Hold 100 and 200 episodes. This is like a rowdy version of Dr. Sin. This is like the lady at the dinner party.

It makes everybody uncomfortable. I'm going to be like, I don't know. And then there's the other person at the table. Go, what does? Yeah, what does? What does drive somebody with a little too many drinks? It's like, interesting. What does drive a woman to use toys?

Meanwhile I'm like, passing the salmon? The next episode of the commercial break starts now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Thank you for joining us on yet another episode of this the commercial break the only one you're looking Only one the other knee guarantee 30-day 30-day money back guarantee not for our sponsors just for the people listening. Yeah, yes our sponsors your stuff You got a penny me so stuff shit Yeah, that reminds me Jeff owes me $499 For the mention of his company which we won't mention again

I don't want to just charge it up. What's the name of his company, which we won't mention again. I don't want to just charge it up. What's the name of his company? It's Arminus, records. Terminusrecords.com, Terminusrecords.com, Terminusrecords.com, make it in even 2000. We'll call it a day, Jeff. Right on it. I'm sure he will. I got baby birdies.

I got baby birdies in the nest. Oh, you do have baby birdies in the nest. What does he do? No, because I don't think I've said anything on the show. No, it's so cute. It is so cute. So, you know, I birds like everybody else has birds flying around the house.

And I got a lot of big trees around my house. And so every year a bird will make a nest somewhere around the house. I'll see it. I'll notice that there's a, usually it's in the trees. Sometimes it's in a soft fit. You know, we have a pool with a pool house.

Sometimes they get into the pool house and they'll make it, you know, because there's open. So they'll get in there and they'll make a little mess there. Messing around. Yeah, but, you know, I don't really notice, occasionally I'll see a dead baby bird on the ground and then I know that they, you know, put that happens. They try and fly a little bit too soon

and they get knocked around. So a couple of months, or about a month ago, I started noticing on our threshold, which is covered by by the way. Our entire front walkway is covered. Yes. I started noticing all this debris on the ground. Like, almost if someone was like, had it on their shoe and was shaking their shoe right before they walked in the door.

Yeah. And I would clean it up, I'd go sweep it up, and then the next day it was there again. And then again, and then again, and I was like, the kids must be picking up hands, falls a shit and throwing it. On our front door, we have a spring wreath like a wreath. It's beautiful. Yeah and it's got a G on it for green and I was. It's a wood. Yeah it's wood. Like a stick. Stick. Yeah. You better mix together like a professional wreath. Something you would buy in a like an arts and craft store.

Right. And so an asset put it together a couple years ago and we put it out there and so I thought that's weird that we keep on getting the shit in the front door, and then I look, I stand right up and look, and then I see that a bird is building a nest right in the reef, and I'm like, we also have hawks that fly around here too. Okay. So I'm like, oh, this bird is smart.

She has figured out that the hawk is unlikely to come this front door, because of how much commotion there is. Yeah. But now I have a fucking wreath, a fucking nest, on my front door. And every time I open it or close it, the wreath is moving back and forth. Because it's only hanging by one nail. So it's moving back and forth. And it's shuddering her nest. And that's where we're getting all the shillin' around.

So I take some tape and I put the tape on the bottom so it stays there. And then she just continues to build the nest. And then like two and a half weeks ago, there were eggs. We noticed there were eggs, little white eggs, four of them. Oh. And I was like, oh, this is so cool. Yes.

You know, let me tell the kids. The circle of life. Circle of life, happening right here in front of us. In our house, every time we open the door. And I'm sure, I'm like 100% sure at this point that bird's coming in this house. The bird's gonna get stuck in this fucking house at some point.

Because she's gonna be sitting there and she's not gonna wanna leave her nest. And I'm gonna open the. The bird's gonna get stuck in this fucking house at some point, because she's gonna be sitting there, she's not gonna wanna leave her nest, and I'm gonna open the door, she's gonna get scared and fly away. But she knows, every time we unlock the door, she flies away. And then she'll come back as soon as there's nobody there. So I tell the kids, I'm like, hey kids,

Matthias is like, whatever Mickey Mouse. And then Mia wants to eat the eggs, she's like, why have us? She wants to pick them out of there, and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, can't touch them. But then eventually they get excited about it. They keep asking, you know, the baby like, oh, he wants to pick them out of there. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can't touch him. But then eventually they get excited about it. They keep asking, you know, the baby birds, where are the baby birds?

I show them a video of baby birds hatching out like little little robins, like, you know, hatching, they're scared shitless. They were like, that is the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Those birds don't look like birds. They look like, you know, reptilian, you know, overlords. Like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, the little eyeballs all covered with film and shit. I'm like, this is a circle of life, you know, overlords. Like, blah, blah, blah. The little eyeballs all covered with film and shit.

I'm like, this is a circle of life, you know? So they're excited. Then last Thursday, I go to the store late at night and when I come home, I notice that the, like, I'll whistle as I'm walking down the walkway to let her know I'm coming and she can get out of the way. So we don't have some kind of incident, you know, where she's like packing at my eyeballs.

That's the awkwardness, yeah. Yeah, I don't know all in my head from the baby bird. So I whistle and she always leaves as soon as I whistle. Well, this time she doesn't leave. And I can see her in there, but I get closer. I whistle whistle whistle. She's not leaving. And then I get to the steps, which is about three feet away from the nest. And she finally, she moves away, but then she comes back and then she goes away again, she's like flying around me and I'm like, that's okay, that's okay,

I'll leave. But as I'm opening the door, I notice that one of the eggs, the little tiny bird is poking out of the egg, right? It's got like a little, like a little eyeball I can see and it's, it is kind of disturbing, but you know, circle of life and shit, whatever. So I'm like, oh, so I open, I close the door. But then on Friday, I open and I close the door and the tape comes loose and one of the eggs falls out

of the nest and it is a scrambled egg and that's exactly what it looked like and I was mortified. I was like, fuck Brian, fuck man, what did you do? You killed this little thing, you know? It didn't look He was cooked very much like maybe it was kind of a dead egg anyway, and she like put it on it yourself that yeah I can tell myself that I could sell myself

But now we have these three little baby birdies that are sitting there They've hatched and they are just weird as weird can be it is a weird thing a baby bird I know during the pandemic I started watching this eagle nest Yeah, that they have done in Florida Yeah, and I watched the whole thing happen The whole cat I'm hooked out of the egg and then they emerge and they do look so strange and wet Yeah, we're ever but then they fluff up. Yeah, they fluff up. Yeah, and they don't have ears

They have holes like so you can see the little holes on their head And now when I go in the mornings, they're like they're're like, they still don't have the film off their eyes, but they're like, ah, they're opening their little. Yeah, and I'm tempted to throw something in there. Like, you know, throw them a, I don't know, a cheerio or something. Now you can't touch them, because then their bird smells them and goes away.

Yeah, I know that. I just leave them. Yeah, they'll leave them. And if you touch the nest, they'll leave them. Like after the nest is like halfway built, if you touch the nest, she won't come back, because she's scared of whatever scent or whatever. She must be uncomfortable with us because she flies away

but that door is open all the time. It's opening and closing. Actually, I know. I know. I'm a little nervous about when they start to fly because you know how they fly, they get up on the nest. They're like hop on the nest and then they'll hop back down and then they'll hop on some other stuff.

You know, they're just kind of testing the water. And I hope I don't like, you know, throw one of those birts directly off the big. And if I do, I think I watched a video on how you can maybe nurse one into flying. So, but it's, you know, but then there's trouble because then it thinks it's your mom. You know, it'll identify with you. And maybe we'll just have like four little birds flying around the house. It's shitting everywhere. Why not?

Blue does it. Yeah, that gets a blue and me. And we just got a, just a soup? Blue does it. Yeah, that gets a blue and me, and we just got a, just a soup going on in here. Yeah. So I got the circle of life happening right here in my door. I think it's very sweet.

Yeah, and I'm just waiting for where the hawk to come down. I eat one of those little suckers. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, and then the matty go daddy. What's going on? Circle of life, son. Circle of life.

It's meant to be. It's meant to be. It's meant to be. Sorry, sorry I had to see that. I got back into my, settling comfortably after my little vacation, settling comfortably into my role as an internet troll out there, looking at everything in the world.

As you do. As I do. I have a story to tell. When I was, like my first real job, like my first office job was with a small internet marketing company. And I think I've told this story before, my best friend was the director of sales for this company, which had three people. I'm picturing you to run in that office. There was four of them. It was horrible. But there wasn't any office to run. It literally was four other people.

So it was like five people. And he had the senior vice president of sales or whatever for a company that got a sale at once every six months. It was like, it was a tiny little title. You can get yourself titles when you're in a show. Yeah, sure. Just change your title, whatever. Whatever you want to call yourself.

So he decided he was going to move to Costa Rica. And when he did, the guy who owned the place, it was two brothers that owned it. And the guy who owned the place, like the CEO, he's a real interesting character. And he was telling Raffa, he's like, you can't leave me without a sales director. That's, you know, that's pretty shitty.

Or whatever. And Raffa was like, no, no, no, I got a plan. I've got a silver-toned devil. It can come in and work your sales department. That's right. And meanwhile, I was like a drunk bartender. That's some hop-skippity-do bar and, you know, a treehouse bar where, you know, the old ladies hit on me.

And so, Raf was like, you know, put on a suit in the time and come down to, you know, 102, one ever. And I come down there and I have no fucking clue. And I'm talking, I didn't even know there was Google, let alone, one ever, and I come down there, and I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. I didn't even know there was Google, let alone, you know, that I could sell Google. I didn't know what that shit was all about. Yeah.

But I walk in and the guys, you know, it's me and Rafa and this guy, and the guy's like, so, what do you know about sales? And I'm like, well, I know to sell a drink. You know, I know, I'm a pork octail. Right. And he's like, he's got a, he's got this, like binder, you know, all CEOs

of running up start companies have a binder. And he's just like checking shit off. He's like, was it like a leather? Yeah, leather portfolio. He's got place for the pen inside. Yeah. And he always wore a calculator. He always wore a 3-piece suit.

Even though there was no one up to, I mean, it was like in a down, middle of downtown Atlanta, it's a warehouse, but he was like, okay, and tell me about your experience with the internet, and I'm like, I have an email address. Yeah, right, I'm trying to get on. I have an MSN, MSN Yahoo address. But I don't even think I had internet,

I swear to God, this is like so hard. Okay, we can teach it. I don't know guys, you know, and Rafa's like, the whole time is like, don't worry, I'll teach him. He's good, right? So, we can teach you. I don't know guys. You know, and Rafa's like, the whole time's like, don't worry, I'll teach him. He's good, right? So, I get this show. And I become the sales director. And I do, okay, I experience the growth curve

with the company. I would say, less had to do with my sales ability. And more had to do with the fact that the internet was taking off and any of these companies to some degree, if they had their shit together, we're going to be successful. Because everybody started to realize, I need to figure out how to work this internet thing.

Yes. So one day, Rafa's down in Costa Rica and he is still selling remotely for the company and I am in the brand new office space that they're in, beautiful office space that we have gotten. And I get a phone call from Rafa and he's like, dude, are you sitting down? And I'm like, well, now I'm standing up

because nothing ever good comes after are you sitting down? Because now I'm stressed out. Now I'm standing up. I'm literally pacing around the office. What are you fucking want? Yeah. And he says, I want you to go check out this website. And the website, I'm not gonna give the website away

because I don't wanna, I highly doubt anybody that would be relevant to the stories listening besides Rafa, but it's like, it's like orgasmhelp.com, right? orgasmhelp.com. And I'm like, what? And he's like, and he's like, type that in, just type that in. And he's like, I just hope you're sitting down. So I type orgasmhelp.com into the browser. And up comes a website from a guy who purports to be the orgasm specialist, right? He's a guy who, he's not a doctor. He's never studied anything medical in his life.

He's not a sex therapist. He's just a guy who's written a book called orgasmhelp.com or succeed orgasm.com or whatever. If you write a book, you know. If you write a book, yeah, it's like Brian on the commercial break, being an expert of everything and a knowing no facts. Right. This guy is that guy.

I am, I am this guy. This guy is me only. I didn't, I don't dedicate a whole website to my bullshit. I did TCB podcast. I got a whole podcast. A whole podcast. Whole podcast, a whole hundred and 200 episodes. See how long that lasts.

So I'm like, okay, and he's like, dig into the website a little bit. So I start digging in, and there are graphic colorful pictures of these techniques that he is showing. He is doing them on a model, right? And showing like very intimate parts of a woman's vagina and everything. I mean, it's not necessary.

It is porn, but it's not framed as porn. It was like clinical. Clinical, yeah, but it clinical in it. Like my dick's in this girl's vagina. Yeah, and I'm pressing her, you know, her, I'm pressing her A-B-A-B, remember the Nintendo? A-B-A-B of jump, jump, up, down, up, down, yeah, the orgasm. And I'm like, okay, and then I start flipping through the pictures and I'm like, oh my God, I know this person. Yeah.

And this person was a girl that I dated for a really long time. And I hadn't dated her in months, years, right? At that time I was with my ex-wife, but I- Yeah. Wow. She was there. Okay. And he's like, I don't know what you want me to do with this, but this guy called us.

He submitted a form and he wants us to do a full $50,000 per motion. We couldn't believe this because the girl was beautiful, not that she could, I mean, she was beautiful, gorgeous. She was a perfect person to do this kind of modeling, but none of us had thought that this girl would be that girl. She wasn't goody toot shoes, but she kind of was a little. And so I was like, wow, you know what I'm going to do.

And he's like, I don't know. Maybe you should call her and tell her. And I'm like, well, I'm sure she knows that she do has a camera in the room. Like, it's, there's well lit. There's a old man's wrinkly dick in her. Like, I mean, you know, this is like, she's got to know. So he says, well, I don't know what you want to do with the information, but I'm going to tell this guy, we can't do this because of conflict of interest, but you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I ended up calling the girl, and I'm like, hey, listen, I got some, I don't know if you know this,

but just to type that, are you a boat love? I'm giving up too. What are you gonna do? I know we haven't talked to you. You know, a guy named Bob, the orgasm specialist from orgasmhelp.com. The orgasm tutor.com, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. The orgasm nurse or whatever it is.

And so she says, so she's like, I don't know what you're talking about. And I'm like, okay, um, go to this website when you have a chance and just call me back. Because she wasn't in a place. 15 fucking minutes later, she calls me back. And she's like, and by the way, I haven't talked to this girl in like a year. And she says, Oh, oh my God. Oh my God. Well, how do you know about this? And where did these pictures? She's like, I wanted to go to Europe with my friend and we needed some money and this guy

that I know that had come to a restaurant I was working at offered to pay me to do these pictures that he said were just for his personal collection and they would never get out there. And I'm like, girl, they're out there. And they ain't never gonna yeah girl Hey girl figures me orgasm nurse calm Just want to let you know all those pictures you took yep, I had they're on a website

Hey girl, it's me orgasm nurse calm. Just want to let you know that Remember those personal pictures. I've been keep from my collection. How about a billboard? I got I got a Super Bowl at. Tell your parents to show off the Super Bowl. You're coming up in 30 seconds. So I'm like, holy fuck. Oh wow. Wow, this, and I said, I don't know,

I don't know what I can tell you. And she's like, what do I do? How do I get these pictures down? And I'm like, honey, you got to call that guy directly. Yeah. Like, I don't know what your deal is, but how sick do you have to be? I know. Some old guy at the bar offered,

and she's like, he paid me like $1,000, and I'm like, it's not enough. That's not enough. That's not enough. That is not enough, right? This is the early days of the internet. There aren't all, there aren't as many websites as there are now.

Somebody's gonna find this, right? And she's like, okay, so it turns out she calls the guy, and he decides that he's not gonna find this right and she's like okay so it turns out she calls the guy and he decides that he's not going to do this promotional campaign that's the agreement that I'm going to keep the website up and drive all my friends to it but don't worry don't worry you won't be you know you won't be at the top of the search results for orgasm yeah so there is this place that I have now going to to see the public access videos is called the internet archive. The internet archive takes a picture every couple of months of every website ever that is called the way way back machine or the way back machine.

So almost every website that's ever been has some kind of history on the way back machine. You can go back, you can take a look at it. So the other night I was like, I was thinking about this story and I'm like, I wonder if this guy ever took the pictures down. Well, here's the pictures are because the website is so old because it's like 15 years old. The pictures, the the website is gone now. Right. It's a different website altogether. Same URL, different website owned by a different person. That means the root file is gone. So the pictures that were there are not there, but the website still shows up with all the words and everything.

But it turns out this guy, then he went from website to book. He made a book about this. Oh my God. Cells that aren't on Amazon. Now, I can't see any of the pictures. But I can see the reviews. And the reviews are like, who's the model? Super hot, you know?

It's like, and one lady put, I'm trying to give this a serious review. But when half the book is literally pictures of the author boning some young girl, I have a hard time doing that. And I was like oh shit. She's like, call her again. No, no, not gonna do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's just a lesson to all you kids out there. If you want to take new photographs, get more in a thousand dollars because it's probably more than a thousand dollars. When I did my photo shoot for my trip to Europe, I'm now on Fat Old Guy.com. I'm on anti-orgasim nurse.com. If you want to. My website is called the orgasm antidote.

It's a joke on it. All you need to do is take one look at my model, photographs, and you'll see what's going on. So the internet archive continues to produce incredible material for this show, as I dig and I dig and I find. But this one, well, I got this from the internet archive. This one actually comes from a good friend of ours, good friend of the show.

You've heard him here before, Will, the champ. Will the champ. I gave him a history. He comes up with a lot of ideas for the show. you've heard him here before, Will, the champ. Will, the champ. I gave him a history. He comes up with a lot of ideas for the show. And yeah, thanks Will, I really appreciate it. Because that's the hardest part about doing three days a week is coming up with material every single day that you think will be funny.

Because sometimes you think it's funny, and then you start really rooting around, and you're like, either it's not funny, it's like it's kind of sad, or it's disturbing, and we've done a couple of those that you'll never see. Or it's just not as funny as I thought it was going to be. So I gave like will, I gave him a line into the show like on our project management board. I'm like, here dude, you have your own little board, like,

you know, you write to something. This is one of the things that he sent me. I think I've seen this video before. I don't think it's new to my eyes, but after I really started, if I got to the internet archive and I started digging around, I figured out exactly who this lady was and what's going on. So, so I get the facts right here. Let me tell you who this is. Why are you doing that now? Well, listen, because every review mentions my lack of facts.

Alexis Tyler is from here in Atlanta. She's a singer and a daughter of the great Jackie Wilson, who sang the song, I love, is lifting me higher, higher, and I've never been before, whatever how it is, right? By the way, I saw, I was listening to that old Jackie Wilson song. It's great in the first place But then the girl from Alabama shakes. Oh, yeah, Britney Howard. Yeah, Britney Howard did a live version of that with Jules Holland on the BBC for New Year's Eve That lady has got soul in her ball. Yeah, her cup fill it over with incredible vocals

Yeah, her cup filleth over with incredible vocals. Yeah, she's so good. If you can listen to that lady, sing that song or many others, and it doesn't give you a chill up your spine, you're just not a human being. You're just not a human being. And those people that are like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, just holes. Okay, she's been on a bunch of stuff. Listen, this is not, she started doing a public access show here

and she calls it the vagina power show. She talks about Dix, she talks about vagina. This is incredibly explicit. So please, if you have young children in the car, you're an idiot in the first place, but for listening to the show, that's right. Hey, all you TCB fans, super excited to let you know that the commercial break is now available on video on Spotify.

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Woo! Ah! Alright, look at that. listen to vagina power. Woo! Ah! All right, look at that. The people TV. People TV, they're right here. They're right here. Oh, look at that. Okay, here she is. Miss Alexis herself doing her bet.

Oh, some of the things I'm talking about because if you really want to earn your man, you need to learn your man. And a lot of times we get caught up with the wrong man, a call up and a man's penis power because it's good. I mean, if a man has been around and he's a hoe, especially like the ones I'm talking about that happen from here, here and there, they have a lot of practice and they know a woman's body, they know the power,

they're penis and they know how to soothe her body and to soothe her vagina. So he's, whoa. Wow. This is why public access TV is the best. It's the best. body into soot of a china so it uh... this is why public access to be is the best because you can say whatever the fuck you want on there

you can literally have nude women on your public access television show and no one can say a fucking thing because public access public airwaves and some of you don't know this but there's actually something called a safe harbor law did i talk about this before thank you have the safe harbor law basically the f something called a safe harbor law. Did I talk about this before? I think you have. The safe harbor law, basically, the FCC is a safe harbor law. And it basically says that after 11 p.m., like it's 11 p.m. to 5 a.m., I think is what it is, is safe harbor. You could be on ABC and you could show, I don't think a porn video, but you could show

a nudity, you could say fuck it, you fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah, and you told the story with the guy that was living in the bottom of the house that was somebody's boy. Oh, yeah. He had a TV. Yeah. You told this story with the guy that was living in the bottom of the house that was somebody's boy. He had a TV. Yeah. And he was living in the bottom of my house. He had a TV and a gun.

And he would point to that being frequently. And then he was watching E-Bor City that he was watching. I came over the name of the strip club, but a famous strip club in Tampa would, I think I said New York, but it's actually Tampa would just put girls on dancing on a pole for like hours on end And they put their name up there and they'd be like come see crystal crystal at you know whichever location or whatever This girl's all about the penis power and by the way orgasm nurse calm Really easy to be called up with that dog kind of man like that one girl asked me why

She thought something was wrong her because she liked the flesh she guys with the jury. And so there's nothing wrong with liking a flashy man. You just have to know what type of spirit and energy he's carrying, because there are some good men, all they still like to flesh, they're not hoars. They don't give their penis to everybody. You have to be able to recognize him

because the man that is living to ejaculate, he's in a predator mode. Yeah, girl. Hey, girl. is living to ejaculate, he's in a predator mode. Yeah, girl. Hey, girl. Did you say, did you call me? I think it says something about a man who likes to ejaculate all the time.

It's flashy, wears clothes, and likes to have sex with whoever. He knows how to sit down with you. Get the V. Yeah. Get the V. He's got the victory V. That vocalist over and over and over and over. I went to school victory, the vocation, all the more and all the more. I went to school for that.

I went to pass the school and learn how to get those two little lines on your tummy. It's a point, right? You're about to your happy place. Right? You're ping-ponging Dingle. Now, listen, girl, just because I just, because I like to have a lot of sex and I'm frequently ejaculating, does not make me a manhole. It's the fact that I like to do it with my parishioners that makes me a manhole, okay?

Just throwing it out there, Alexis, straighten you out. Mm. And when a man is in a predator mode, he's gonna look for the weaknesses of a woman, a woman that's lonely. Her vagina is cold. She's laying the bed at night, playing with her toys. Or she's got a man-

The lady is one of her kind, too. Wow. I love this. Call me if's got a man. The lady is the one of a kind. I love this. Call me if you have a Johnny's call. You know I'm talking about the sweet car. It's me, the little car, a big car, I'm just talking. If you have a Johnny's call, I happen to have a, a Johnny blanket. It's called my penis. I got a space here in my...

Remember how these have the red light special that came out? I got a point and I got two little lines pointing to my game. I'm special. I'm a gentleman. Call me up. It's me. Oh, my legs.

She's speaking with authority. She knows. Yeah. She knows. By the way, I don't think she's. She might not be wrong. She's not. She's not. She's speaking with authority. She knows. Yeah. She knows. By the way, I don't think she might not be wrong.

I'm not sure she's wrong. I haven't listened to her enough to know, but she's, she's, when people talk like this, other people think they know what they're talking about. She's got experience. Yeah, that's right. And so I talk like this. Why don't you guys believe what I know what they're talking about. She's got experience. Yeah, that's right. And so I talk like this. Why don't you guys believe what I know and I'm talking about it.

Still pissed off if you fenced hers or whatever you call yourself. I do love you though. I do love you. They give us a fair shout at the end of it. They were like, whatever. Those two guys are just being goofy. One guy said it's the funniest fenced treasure video he's ever seen. And I appreciated that.

I appreciated his good sense of humor. But he's not hitting the walls and working the middle like the dog that she had in his sex wheel. What drives a woman to toys? Your drives a woman to toy. A car. That's what drives a woman to toy. Come on.

First of all, here you got the elderly coming in and trying to make this a legitimate show. What drives a woman to the toys? Let's get into it. The orgasm nurse.com drives a woman to toys. A crinkly old white man trying to tell you have an orgasm. That's what drives you to toys. Because, like I said, she needs the vagina penetration.

A lot of women are hooked on having clitoral stimulation. You have a outer orgasm with your clitoris, but also you have inner or gasem inside the intra vagina. This is like a rowdy version of Dr. Sin. This is like the lady at the dinner party. It makes everybody uncomfortable. You're like, I don't know. And then there's the other person at the table going,

what does? What does drive somebody with a little team with a few too many drinks? It's like, interesting. What does drive a woman to use toys? Meanwhile, I'm like, pass to the salmon? Great pasta sauce, Betty. Inside the vagina walls, hidden G spots.

And every woman's G spot may be similar, or some women may have more than one G spot. So some women are actually hooked on coming. And I mean, it's women that can be at work and they just, they got the jack, grab it on with. Yeah. Yeah. I'm working your desk.

Yeah. They're hooked on it. They're hooked. I'm hooked. I can't. Oh, wow. I'm going to have it. I'm going to have it. Yeah, girls, let me call.

It's one of the things you know that you got that internship. And I need to fill out your HR paperwork. You know, your health insurance forms, your I4, your W4. What size jackbrame you need for your interest? Here's where the fins are. Health insurance forms your eye for you w4 what size jack gravity Just here's where the pins are Yeah, it depends on here's the remote control you jack gravity

Which is it? Which is it? Keep the remote control it's just don't bring it to meeting Even on silent Yeah Keep it on silent, keep it on vibrate Oh, Alexis, I already in love with you on silent. Yeah. Keep it on silent. Keep it on vibrate. Oh, Alexis, I already in love with you. Okay.

Well, you can buy hook it onto your clitoris off throughout the day. And you can be having an origin. Yeah, grab it. That one of my notes. Yeah, grab it. Where do I get one of those? What?

You know, like your briefcase. Yeah, I know. And what's that's on a laptop? I have like a book pretending to be a laptop Go to youtube.com slash like a version of the host of this show. I'm assuming it's the host The host or is the other one who's the host but Alexis gets her own show Yeah, Jack rabbit. What's the you are able to that so my so I can look it up for future research That's funny I

New some girls that was a favorite partner that was a favorite best buddy to keep in the pocket book Let's see I go back to when I was a little girl being raised in the country Does your vagina jump from here to there? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I'm gonna real read it jump but a rabbit in nature jump from here

There is constantly moves. Yes, and they say that they have taken the same concept of the rabbit jumping from here to there and Heart is the energy Hello, it's me and then terms Mr. Jackrabbit. You got it all wrong. I Did not invent it to jump from here to there. It's supposed to stay in one place So wait, you're telling me this Jagrave moves from one vagina to the other vagina Just jumping all around the office and other people's Pants pass it around in their pocket books all around the office and other people's jetties. Passing it around in their pocket

books. Passing out their pocket books. You get a jackrabbit I can borrow. I'm addicted. I'm sorry. I'm all out. Sorry. I got mine in right now. Give me five minutes. I get it. You can use it. We just jump out of control and make the one I have an incredible orgasm. That's what it called the 21st century. That's the destiny. My forever. We are limited to 21st century. Yes, host whatever your name is we are.

We are living in the 16th 16th century. Back when I was living on the country. Most Trinom is predicted. I think it was Joan of Arc that said, now she'll have Jack rabbits all in your ho-ho-ho. Oh man. Jack rabbit for the clip. Some men, they have so much heat and intensity and they pain us.

That you can, pain us. This stuff sounds like someone I used to know. The Choukin. Paynals. This set. Sounds like someone I used to know. This is like, she's got a very old Southern draw. Like, for those of you that don't live in the South, there are two kinds of Southern accents. There's like, hey, buddy, what you doing?

It's me, Bob. That's kind of, that's the kind of guy who drives Chuck all day and, you know, works doing hard work and gets it done. And then there is old Southern money. And that's a different kind of guy who drives truck all day and you know works doing hard work and gets it done. And then there is old Southern money and that's a different kind of draw. That's when you have lots of money in your pocket. And this lady is an old Southern draw. So when she says penis, she says penis.

Feel it, radiate through the clothes, just to touch the penis. It's on five. Feel like it's fire underneath the skin. So. Radiate through that clothe of just to touch the penis is on fire That's the eternal flame The eternal flame of our Lord Jesus God Let's me co-girl. Hey, you were talking about the eternal flame of my penis Of a tronis blamed to the congregation all time. I didn't mean to harm. It's just the eternal flame It was so hot. Yeah, he had the where no shirt I haven't mean to harm. It's the eternal flame. It was so hot. You know, you had to wear no shirt. It's like, you know, have the V.

I have a let it breathe. It's all fired down there. Did you see the smoke coming up from my abs? That's my pee. It's all fired. I call that my five finger fire. It's all going to rub it real hard. It's all too single. Loudly, fire. I'm talking about rubber real hard. Talk to you single.

Loud women start going crazy. They actually think because all penises are not created equal and they don't hold the same level of intensity. So if it's one hot like that, he has the energy. He knows how to work his hips, work his buttocks, and really twist time. Bend hard like she's a pretzel and give other gratification she needs.

She's going to be hooked and think that that's love or a deeper root level. She's become, going to become sexually, mentally and emotionally attached, although he ain't no good. And it's over man she with. She is. She is. Oh. This girl has picked this apart seven ways to Sunday.

Yeah. She's really, she had this happen. She had this happen for sure. And by the way, you know she's a freak in the sheets. Yeah. This girl, because you know when talks like penis is like this. Unless they have a lot of experience with penis. We're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex.

Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex.

Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. Yeah, we're gonna have a lot of sex. It's got the veiny, veiny stuff and his balls are right close to his shaft. Just ready to ejaculate all over you. I don't know if experience with that, but I have heard some women do. They're addicted. They're addicted.

That's my heart, take care of children that ain't even heels. That woman will still sneak and get that penis power from him, but what she doesn't realize is, we have to deal with our attachments and separate the love, the orgasm, and the penis. They are separate issues, because if we're in a lower level lover, then we hooked on the penis power,

and this man won't even buy you some shrimp from Long John Silver's and what that's like with... What? See, it's not getting out. What the fuck is that? That's a shrimp from Long John's Silver. I thought she was at least gonna go shrimp from Long John's Silver. Diamond ring, yeah.

Not diamond ring. I was thinking about like a Chanel scarf or something. Hey girls, me Carl. You want me to get some shrimp from L.J. I was gonna I went back after these It was waffle fries I got some tart sauce for that. I got you girl. I got you There's a wait for my Vainey frobby cacti come over

Like literally could feel the heat from my penis right now. By the way, I've never felt the heat from my own penis. So I don't think I've followed this category. I think I have that low energy. The cat ended. You know, it's there. It shows up. It's not sitting off any fire alarms, but maybe a carbon monoxide alarm,

or two, you know what I'm saying? Maybe it's got a fever, 103, I don't know. So 99, well you can give you a mouthful of sperm and a wrecking full of sperm and he's going to get in a library. It's like we have to see what our issue is because a man like that doesn't respect a woman. Yeah, he'll hit her, but if a man is having sex with you and he had the opportunity to be with you or he's an ex. So that means he had you before the other man that's providing for you could get to you.

And all he's offering you is a side of penis when he can sneak in and out your man bed, not your man house, the man ain't got no respect for you could get to you and all he's offering you is a side of penis when he can sneak in and not your man Bid not your man house that man ain't got no respect for you Can you get inside of penis with the shrimp? Yes, I'd like to let me get two orders of host, but I'd like to get one side of awful first, one side of awful first. Which I could do with that. Yeah, I'll take some ketchup. And then I want a very, a ferroving, veiny cock side of peanuts. Can you hold the I'm going to call her a ruffian or a ruffian. I'll pull her out. Pull her out.

No, I'm for yourself, but because you're so hooked on him and you hooked on the penis, you will sacrifice and sell yourself out to let him come in the back door or let him come at lunch or come in the dark when you're a real man that don't have the same penis power is hellling all the expenses. So a woman thinks she's getting over and thinking, oh that's the best sex, but she really playing herself and he playing her. Cause it ain't about her. It's about his ego and about his penis and his testicles and how many notches he can get up on his belt to brag about. What does she say? I'm dying to see that. Oh, here comes those.

She's going to drop some brilliant wisdom. Like, it is sunny out today. Back when I was a young lady, we had bottle T-Fords. He members. That's why I was saying I can get a word in the bottom of your vagina the Rudy of vagina They don't know about the bottom. They don't know about the bottom. Yeah, that bottom when it's but see it I'm trying to pretend like I know what I'm talking about here. I'm trying to keep up

I don't know about that. I haven't seen a penis since 1952. I Haven't seen a penis since my mom had pregnant with my dad. I don't know what's going on. Oh, yeah. She is totally out of it. Yeah, she's laying back. She's like, they don't know about the bottom. They don't know about the bottom.

What is the bottom? By the way, I don't even know what the bottom is. I hate the bottom. The bottom of the vagina. Is that a particularly sensitive place? I don't know. We need doctors. We need doctors, We need doctors.

Sin back. Yes, we do. For man, I know because he might not have a penis to really know how to hit that bottom or how to lift to hit that bottom and work that middle with a woman. She spread her legs wide and she started screaming saying, yeah, daddy, that said, or she might start cursing or screaming at all times. How many times have you yelled, yeah, daddy, that's it. It's someone said that to me. I did it out.

That was a girl who used to just talk. That was a girl. I think I know I've told this story. I met her in Charleston. We were like out of Kings of Leon concert. Oh, yeah. And we were all playing in a hotel room. I remember this girl in this story. And my friend. Did she were all thingin in a hotel room. I remember this girl

in the story. And my friend. Did she come back with you for a little? Oh yeah. She came back. You remember this. She came back with me. And I had to live. And then we went down to the island. And I literally had to leave in the middle of the night and never come back because she

was throwing the TV out the window or something. To go went crazy. She was like, you don't love me. And I'm like, I don't know you. What do you mean? I don't love me. But she used to talk dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. And she used to say shit like that. It bothered the fuck out of it. Yeah. Get it daddy, hit it daddy. And I'm like, I'll be. I don't talk about that. Can we get a little softer? Go a little softer. I think I remember having a conversation with

her. I was like a little lighter on that. Yeah, a little lighter on it. And then she'd be like, Get it brother, get it cousin. I get it uncle Don. The bottom. And now her mind, she insane, her mind ain't good because the penis don't ejaculate it all in a brain.

She's gone crazy. Wow. That guy's got, whatever, you're talking about the hell of a cock. Yeah. The jack lad with a brain. It went going crazy. Wow. That guy's got whatever you're talking about. Hell of a cock. Yeah. Jack Lee. He went all the way up there. Hit your bottom and your body remembers it. Just like a man to put a woman over doggy style or maybe get a mirror or something. Then they start hitting that woman from the back or on the back. They hit them. Then they start talking.

They start saying all kind of stuff to a while they hit them and see that woman is being seduced. She being seduced He breaking a down man. He is screwing her into some mission He's screwing her into slavery by using the penis as a weapon to break her ass That's crazy. What kind of dick did this girl have? I don't know. I don't know But I wish anybody would talk to it. It got her brain. I wish anybody would talk about my cock

the way that she's talking about her cock. I mean, I'm probably sure they're like, well, you know, this girl sitting at lunch with one of her friends, she's like, he just beat me down, he kept hitting it, he put a mirror down, and that penis power girl orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, and that penis power, or guys, I'm after, or guys, I'm after, or guys, and the girls dating me and they're like,

yeah. Huh. Huh. Huh. I've watched the end of Bridgerton. Huh. While he wasn't looking, he put a mirror down and I put the iPhone down.

And I was like, well, might as well catch up on Bridgerton while he's back there. He was screaming, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, down and I was like well might as well catch up on Bridgeton while he's back there. He was he was screaming daddy daddy daddy daddy gonna hit your daddy gonna get it daddy. Oh yeah. Yeah Brian was uh yeah he sounded like yeah he sounded like he was out of breath a lot yeah I think he was drooling and spinning. I think he was drooling and spinning. Ow. And how the fences, I mean, she wide open. When the penis all up in your vagina,

man, you don't have no defenses. Unless you just really are thinking, and this is not about the love experience. This is about a money experience or she's a prostitute. Then she's working at just her benefit. But when a woman really has a lie on the tender, she's like, yeah, her benefit but when I want to lie on tender she's yeah oh Lexus you are a sexed up girl I like it what he's doing especially she's sneaking around with him he has nothing to give but her man is treating her better than he is he has already gotten her defenses down but she's

very weak and that's the worst thing that can happen is a man to get you and why he's thrust in the penis and now who is vagina is and who it belonged to. Who is this? Who are you? Excuse me? Who's vagina is this? I know, that's like. Remember we talked about the Ford movie,

so sometimes the guys will take the cock and like slap it on the girls Pagina or head like or mouth. It's like it's like a door knocker. I like that Pagina's oh my gosh, I was like okay, you know what? I think there's only I think there's only we have a whole Another clip of this. Oh my gosh. She is rowed up. She's rowed up. It gets better Oh, so we'll have to finish Alexis Tyler. I mean she's blowing a host mind. Yeah, this host has this host is never Yeah, I'm from the country. I'm not even a head sex the bottom the bottom checkers There's Jack went in the country. We used to Oh my gosh god bless America. All right orgasm no

21st century orgasm no stock comment case you want to learn how to have that kind of power over a woman Well, by the way, I have a lot of female friends. I've never heard them talk about any Buddy's penis like Alexis Tyler just talked about a penis. She had a good. She had a good. I wonder if she still has it. Only someone who's experienced that kind of sex can speak with that kind of authority. That's right.

Or they just been reading way too many sex fantasy novels. That's for sure. Alright, here's what you do. You go to tcbpodcast.com. You can read all the show notes. Find out more about Chrissy and I. Listen to all the audio.

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Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast audience. Remember, TCB, we're always right here until next time. We always say, we do say, and we must say, bye. Bye. do say and we must say bye!I'm a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, you