The Commercial Break - Best Podcast To Sleep To
Episode Date: July 29, 2020The Bit: George talks to his friend about his "dirty" thoughts. The Show: Bryan and Hoadley discuss the marketing campaign that went horribly awry, Chuck E. Cheese brings back some fond and not so fon...d memories and Bryan's Mom needs to have her phone taken away because she might be Qanon. This and so much more on episode 16 of The Commercial Break. Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO (+1-661-237-8296) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
That was so off I get a strong sex urge and the only way I can take care of it is to masturbate.
And what I do I feel awful. It's just like I committed a crime or something.
It worries me I say, well I won't do it anymore.
And when I do it goes away for a while and I come back and do it anymore. And when I do, it goes away for a while, and I come back and do it again.
And when I do control myself for a while,
I end up with a wet dream.
George, I'm really pleased that you can tell me about this,
perhaps it's because we've known each other for so long.
You know, you really don't need to be upset about this.
Actually, the main thing that concerns me
is that it has your website. Whole communities shut their doors in an effort to protect human life. As the world quickly changed, one man went on Facebook to get a degree in Internet epidemiology.
Brian, along with his lab assistant HOTELY, are curing coronavirus by commenting on fake
news and reposting recipes of secret virus cures from a friend of a friend who works
high up in government. Join Brian and Holy as they discuss the world and life doing this forced interruption,
learning, laughing and loving in this real life commercial break.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Best podcast to fall asleep, too.
Now I can't argue with this one too much.
I do.
The way. Best podcast to fall asleep to now I can't argue with this one too much. I do
Best podcast to fall asleep to
Like a tea. It's just for your ears
And it was dark and it was almost like a bar like those like a lot of lights and banging going off and smoking cigarettes and all this other stuff
It's like a strip club for kids. Here we go.
Just wondering what your thoughts were.
I'm going to accept, curious, your opinion, met a couple gals.
Here we are in my place, Venezuela.
They, phone numbers, parents, two, can visit.
Sure, I'll be over my computer.
It says, Judge Judy Judy from her country.
It goes on to read.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
I'm gonna start being like Dean Bodie, just singing our theme song. Yes.
The commercial break, the commercial break, the commercial break, break down funky flute.
Go go funky flute.
Boop, boop, boop, funky flute.
It's a funky flute Friday.
Here.
Yes.
Well, it's gonna be an unstarted name in a funky flutek-y food Friday. Even though we've broadcasted on a Wednesday, quote-unquote, Wednesday.
Here's a little news to all you out there in the listening world.
We don't actually record on Wednesday.
But wait, Brian, I told you we're live on Wednesday.
I'm up on light waiting for your show.
I'm talking back to you during the commercial.
What's going on?
It's okay. it's okay.
We record on Friday so that I can edit out all the unfunny parts.
See, we actually record three and a half hours of a show.
And then it takes me two days to record out, down to 45 minutes.
It's a little commercial break, secret.
We are going to do a live show, though. We are going to do a live show though. We are gonna do a live show
and I think I'm figuring out exactly how we do this. So the technology is there. I've confirmed.
I've gone out there. I've talked to scientists and technologists and test
traditions and and the technology exists for us to do a live show and I've got people working on it.
I sent a Instagram message to Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah. All the G exists for us to do a live show. And I've got people working on it.
I sent a Instagram message to Mark Zuckerberg.
Yeah.
I told Zuck.
I said, hey, Zuck, the people are demanding
all across the world, including the United Arab Emirates.
Now we have a fan in Iran.
Don't ask me.
Where else?
Moldova.
Love Moldova.
I don't even know where that is.
Moldova, but it sounds great. It's in Eastern Europe, I think. Yes.
I know that only because I watch 90-day fiance. Of course, I get all my other information from.
I don't need no fucking MSNBC. I got 90-day fiance and my 600-pound life.
It tells me all I need to know about what's going on in the world. And there is a guy there from Maldova.
He's Maldovian. Moldovian.
I think that's how you say it. Or yes. Do they speak Moldova in? I, I, I, I'm going to think
they, I'm going to say they speak Russian because anytime I have a question about some small country
in Eastern Europe, I just say they speak Russian or German. It's probably a good assumption,
don't you think? Yeah. Yes. I think yes. EP 16 is how we're going to write this down. It's probably a good... It's a good assumption, don't you think?
Yeah, yes, I think, yes.
EP16 is how we're going to write this down.
It's going to be episode number 16 for those of you following
for those of you taking notes at home.
EP16, here we are.
I'm Brian, this is my good friend, Hody,
the first time listening.
Welcome aboard.
Give us like 35 more seconds,
and I'm sure you're gonna be convinced
this is the show you need to download.
And for those of you who are coming back on board,
well, we welcome you.
Clearly you have brain injury,
and we feel bad for you.
Yeah.
Make sure to go to tcbpodcast.com.
Someone has written my show notes here.
I have, that would be me.
I'm the one by someone I mean me. Someone has written my show notes here, and if you that would be me. I'm the one by someone I mean me.
Someone has written my show notes here.
And if you see, I wrote TCB, TC, the two letters
that are correct, and then B, like B-E,
as if it was to be a podcast.
We got a real professional operation going on here.
TCBpodcast.com, that's where you can find out
all the show notes, find out more about Chrissy and I,
drop us some comments or an email
Let us know what you would like to hear and
And then you can join the break room and the break room is like a little club that you join and then every month which coming up next week
We're going to be sending out our very first break room newsletter and hour of content Chrissy. I have curated
hundreds of seconds of
Hard to find content.
I've dug deep in our archives of 12 hours of content
to find the best and brightest of the lost content
and I'm putting it together currently
and one very special appearance by my mother.
I'll just drop that.
So you got to join the break room.
We said that the first 100 or the next 100 people
that joined the break room, if we ever charge for anything content related, then the first
100 people and the people who, the couple of people who joined before that would never
have to pay for anything, we're close. So if you want to be included in that, what we're
calling founding member membership, where you never get charged for anything for an entire
lifetime. And we don't even know we're gonna make it to episode number 20,
but on episode number 19, if we decided to charge for something,
you won't get charged for anything.
That's right, so it's a cute little thing we're doing
just to encourage people to join the break room,
go to TCPpodcast.com, and there's a big button
that says join the break room, and then follow us
on all the stuff, you know, at the commercial break
on IG, I'm getting hit with the kids on IG, hopefully.
Was it not Insta?
Any more?
Oh, maybe it's Insta.
The commercial break on MySpace and isn't it MySpace?
Is that the one we're doing?
No.
That MySpace showed down a while back.
Wait, I thought Justin Timberlake just sent me an email telling me to join my
space. I think he did try and revive it at some point, but I don't think it took. But
I remember being on my space years ago, I had it like all decorated with a disco ball
and I would play my tracks, my favorite songs. I could never, I could never figure out
how to do that. And I would got so, like I was a little late to the social media game.
So when I got my first MySpace page, I was extraordinarily excited by the amount of women
that were, at the time I was single, the amount of women that were requesting my presence
on there, MySpace page.
I just got so excited.
It really took me a long time to figure out that these were actually men just trying to
sell me porn subscriptions.
But for a while there, I was like,
wow, I have like 82 hot chick friends.
But then like six of them looked exactly the same
and you know, there were like thousands
of similar photographs.
And I was like, wait a second.
Hold on, Brian.
Were they not, were they trying to be
on your favorite TV show and marry you?
Yeah. It's got another country. It's possible. Hey, your favorite TV show and marry you? Yeah.
It's possible.
Hey, you don't knock it till you try it.
Look at me.
I'm a success story.
You are.
So anyway, go to our MySpace page and then also find us on chatterbait.
Yes.
Chatterbait, which I think is still around.
Do you know chatterbait is?
Do you remember chatterbait?
Yeah.
For head.
Actually, you know what? I'm not going to give a free plug to chatterbait. Don't know Chatterbait is? Do you remember Chatterbait? Yeah. For head-eat. Actually, you know what? Just not gonna give a free plug to Chatterbait.
Don't go to Chatterbait. Find us on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and all that
other stuff. And please subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any
episodes. And leave us a review, which by the way, a few people have done. So I say,
thank you very much. We appreciate it. Five stars all around. We are a...
We now have a collective 1.6. Somebody really loves us. That's right. Someone really loves us
We now have a 1.6 star rating on all our favorite podcast platforms
Because I put a five and someone put a zero and it somehow it averaged out to 1.6
Nice, Apple just gave it gave a little weight to it. I suppose so well welcome aboard episode number 16. I do have to say this
Chrissy I have to get into this right away because it's
very important news that I have to tell you, we have been running a marketing campaign
here at the commercial break, the team and I. And by the team and I, I mean my two dogs
and my small son. We have an internet expert of all forms and fashions. And so I decided
that I was going to get myself into the pay click game. Because this is what they say.
They say if you wanna get new subscribers,
you gotta get in front of new people.
And one of the ways to do that is go ahead
and rock yourself onto a pay per click campaign
and make sure you put all your relevant key terms.
So I went in there and being the pay per click expert
that I'm not, I decided and they now have an app, right?
It's like, they're just sucking money from stupid people.
Essentially, they have an app, It's like a game, right?
You just write in some words, then you press a budget,
and then you press go, and they charge your credit card
every 15 minutes.
That's it.
Fuck.
Fuck.
It's such a racket.
But anyway, listen, I guess what would we do without Google?
But so we have this paper cook campaign going on,
and I decided I'm going to put in a few key terms
that I think might be relevant to the podcast, like the following things.
Best podcast in the world.
Most hilarious podcast in the world.
Best comedy podcast to listen to, right?
These are the terms that Google is suggesting based on my website that I go ahead and put
in there and I agree with Google.
I think we are the best comedy podcast in the world and our numbers
prove it. 198 people away from 200 listeners. And we should better than last week if you remember.
And so we gained one. The guy from Aldova. And so I decide that I need to do a little checking
on this campaign that's been running and charging my credit card for a month because, you know, hey, I want to understand if it's
actually making any sense to spend this kind of money.
And they gave me a little report.
And the report goes like this, what keywords are people searching for that they click on
through to your website?
Hence the pay per click.
Pay.
Per click.
That's right.
Now Google has organic results, which means you're just you're you have a really hefty
Website and you're a trusted source out there. Let's say that you I don't know put in
Airplanes or airline then Delta would come up because Delta is you know, they're the heavy hitters right the best airline in the world and the
Busiest if you put in best podcast you're probably gonna come up with like Joe Rogan or something along those lines, right?
you put in best podcast, you're probably gonna come up with like Joe Rogan or something along those lines, right?
But you can then, but he doesn't pay for that, that's just how Google works.
But then on top of that, it says sponsored and now sponsored ads are pay per click and
you pay per every time someone clicks through.
So I go and I look at this little report and I'm like, let me see what's doing.
Chrissy, let me add up our pay per click efforts here.
There's some interesting statistics. First of all.
I bet. There's no longer a secret as to why people are listening to us from all around
the world because people are paying or I'm paying for people all around the world to
come to our website and listen to the podcast. First, I figured that I got that little piece
of the puzzle. My investigative background. yes, my investigative background as a private investigator,
by putting two and two together.
Basically, Google told me, and that's why I figured it out.
But the other thing that came up was,
what are the search terms that people are getting
to our website from?
I'm gonna give you an example of the clearly relevant key terms
that Google has now charged me to send people to my website for
Search terms for the commercial break podcast best sex podcast
paid about $10 for those clicks
Best podcast to fall asleep to now I can't argue with this one too much. I do
Best podcast to fall asleep to now I can't argue with this one too much. I do
Best podcast to fall asleep to
Like a tea. It's just for your ears
It's like melatonin for your ear drums
Now I can't argue with this too much. Maybe you find my voice droning
and Chrissy's laugh welcoming
and you wanna go to sleep.
I can go a little further in the process
and figure out if people come from that search term,
did they actually do anything on our website
like listen to the podcast?
And what I found was that the people searched
for our best podcast to go to sleep to,
actually spend some time listening to the hot
cat. Maybe they fell asleep and it kept playing.
Oh,
that's why they're listening or maybe maybe they committed suicide.
Maybe they're like, I've been up for days worrying about the pandemic.
I don't have a job anymore.
I'm just worrying about the pandemic. I don't have a job anymore.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Nice!
Hey!
Yeah.
Whatever works.
Here's one.
Best educational podcast for teachers.
Ha!
Ha!
For teachers.
For teachers.
You have to add that one in.
Best educational podcast for teachers.
And the crazy thing is, is that people are clicking on this and going to our podcast.
I gotta repeat this because I've said it a million times.
If you're looking to me for any kind of information
that you think is even remotely factual,
you've got to stick directly in your left eyeball
because I do not know shit.
I make it up on the fly.
I'm trying to, I'm trying to make you laugh.
Not that she hates you.
If you're a anesthetist. I am an anesthetist and an epidemiologist
and now a private and internet investigator.
P.I.
Yes.
Best podcast for kids is what that people.
Really?
Yes.
Like Google's so way off the mark here.
You're like, I don't know, but if you've turned on my podcast, you are in like on a car ride
with small children.
I think you're just a bad parent.
Like, I think that's just a fact because, you know, maybe teachers are telling students to go to that.
I would take care of two of those farms.
I can see that in social studies class. The fall of America.
Exactly. the fall of America. Yeah, exactly. How the Romans.
Yes, you remember how the Romans fell?
And the Mongolians and all the great societies of earth.
This is how it started.
It started with a podcast.
Yeah, these two fucking idiots.
But here's my last two favorite ones.
Erotic podcast.
I mean, clearly, maybe my deep lumbering voice and Chrissy's
Soetry, Soetry sounds of Chrissy's voice are making you just too excited to handle things.
And I will have noticed that the people who clicked on this term and then went to our website spent less than 30 seconds
listening to it, but I'm just assuming that's a bunch of guys who just heard you
and popped their top 26 seconds in. And I don't blame you. And finally, yes. And
finally, the commercial break on the commercial break podcast Best search terms best podcast to have sex to
If you are having sex to our podcast honestly if you have had sex to our podcast
You must go immediately to tcbpodcast.com have had sex to our podcast, you must go immediately
to tcbpodcast.com. Click on the contact us page and you must give me your phone number
so that we can have a conversation. Anonymous completely. But whoever has searched the
term, best podcast to have sex, first of all, who's fucking searching for a podcast that
have sexed here? There's some real fucking intellectual weirdos out there.
Forget the music.
I don't even sound like there's a couple other people in the room with us.
You want to turn on some Marvin Gaye and get some chocolate strawberry?
Is it not?
Give you a bubble bath?
No.
No.
I'd like to turn on Rachel Maddow's podcast.
Put your glasses on and give me some head. Maybe it's the pandemic version of a swingers party.
You know, it's a podcast.
You're other people are in the room all of a sudden.
It's exciting.
Yeah, it's exciting.
I mean, listen, whatever turns you on, there's no judgment here at tcbpodcast.com.
Absolutely not.
But, at the commercial break, you've been saying the website's name.
However, if this, again, if you have had sex to our podcast, you must, must call in.
I mean, I don't, I would pay you to call in and tell us that story.
That is amazing.
You get the same amount that you paid for the paperclicks.
Yeah, honestly, I mean, just pissing money away over here.
Brian's paperclicks strategy has not worked out so so fantastically
You had to try it out. I did I did
I'll you learn from it. Well, I made a few adjustments and we'll see how how it is going forward
I don't want to give it up all together because I do think we're getting some traffic that's it's relevant
But you know that's that so it's been a keep as posted. I will keep you posted
Everyone's in a blue moon will check in on the commercial break podcasts. Just paper click campaign. Just to see what's going on a
Masterclass in marketing by Brian and Chrissy
If anything is that we did used to be in the market. We did used to be in the market. Hey
Maybe that's why they used to comes before marketing world
Or maybe that's more about our employer than it does about us.
So yes, it's been a long week here.
You know, we're still trying to get adjusted to the baby.
Lots of sleep deprivation.
We've had a couple really rough nights with the both juggling the both that show.
Yeah, and listen, this is to be expected.
So nothing new under the sun, nothing we didn't expect.
Nothing that we can't handle if we work together, right?
I'm a little longer in the tooth,
so I feel like I need a little bit more sleep
than I used to, but everything's going well,
I just feel really bad for, especially my son.
I feel bad for him because there's like,
I wish I could do something, you know,
we have a pool that's close by and I can bring the hose out,
we can do all that other stuff
I wish that we had something else for him to do that
I didn't feel like was gonna put him in some kind of you know danger or us in danger or the baby in danger
Like go to a theme park, you know or even like a one day two day trip to Disney World or just something that I felt like was safe
Now you know what I would even accept I would would accept going to do in some stupid, like,
bouncy ball house or a Chuckie fucking cheese.
That's what I would do.
Ooh, ooh.
That was my jam when I was young.
Was it really?
Mm-hmm, I used to love going to that place.
Yeah.
I mean, had the pizza for the kids, the alcohol
for the dinner. They had to be here, that's right.
They've got the bouncy balls, they've got ski ball. Then they have the entertainment.
Skied ball. Skied. Skied. Skied. Skied. I would get all the tickets on that. Oh yeah. I knew how the game had system. I would just walk right up and put it in the hundred.
They had the entertainment, which I really sticks out in my mind because you could kind of go and do those games at other places. But Chuck E. Cheese had the the the the lie the animals the live band that would
come alive and a curtain would go up in the dining room pizza.
Yeah, the lights would go down and the things would start to bounce around and
talk and laugh. And my favorite thing actually was to go when they were closed
like when the curtain was down was to go when they were closed, like when the curtain
was down, was to go and like...
And look under the curtain.
Just still.
They just had their little feet.
It was scary.
Those animals were scary.
They weren't exactly like top of the line animatronics.
This wasn't like Disney World.
These were like, you know, they just kind of had one movement, which was like a hand or
a head, and was going like this.
And Chuck E.T. I mean, it was just a scary big band. Remember, they had like a hand or a head, and was going like this. And they had Chuck E. Cheese.
I mean, it was just a scary big band.
Remember, they had like the big gorilla in the back
that was playing the drums,
and that gorilla always scared the shit out of me.
But I too, like you, I don't know.
I felt like it was this magical world we went into,
and we were kids.
They had a rather large Chuck E,
actually wasn't called Chuck E. Cheese at the time.
It was called like Mike Ratonis or something.
Chuck E. Cheese eventually bought it up,
but it was one of the, it was one of the sister companies of Chuck E. Cheese, and it was called like Mike Ratonis or something. Chuckie cheese eventually bought it up, but it was one of the,
it was one of the sister companies of Chuckie cheese
and it was in Chicago and they had a two story one
and it was dark and it was almost like a bar.
Like there was like a lot of lights and banging going off
and smoking cigarettes and all this other stuff.
It was like, it was like a strip club for kids.
And, but I remember it funnily that it was a lot of fun
when we went there and we didn't go there often
but when we did go there, it was a lot of fun.
Then when I got a little bit older,
I had a Chuckie cheese down the street
from where I got my first job here in the Atlanta area.
And I think maybe it was one of the last Chuckie cheese
that was even open.
And there's still a few of them, but this Chuckie cheese,
I actually strange enough, I dated a manager of a Chuck E. Cheese, like
a girl who managed the Chuck E. Cheese.
Wow. That takes a special person.
Oh, the kids and parents.
That's right. You have to be a kid enthusiast, a pizza enthusiast, or a child porn enthusiast,
one of the slaves to be a manager at the Chuck E. Cheese.
And she was like 17 at the time, and I think I was 16.
And I met her at like a party,
and then I would go to the Chuck E. Cheese
to like smoke cigarettes on her break
and woo her with my absolute charm.
I don't even remember what the girl's name is.
I really don't, let's call her Angela, because I don't even remember what the girl's name is. I really don't, let's call her Angela,
because I don't remember what,
it was such a short, live little thing in my teenage years.
But it was your wooing.
It was my wooing skills.
My wooing skills usually keep things pretty short.
In and out of the bedroom, I'm just letting you know that.
Woo! Woo! In and out of the bedroom, I'm just letting you know that.
Woo!
Woo!
Oops! Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-wh disposed so my dad was out of town and it was one of these weekends when my dad just kind of left us to our own devices.
The Kevin and I, the little guys went away, somewhere I can't remember, they went away
to foster home.
I'm not even sure where they went.
They weren't there though, and my dad left us at the house, the boys, the twin boys,
and we decided we were going to have a rager.
And by rager, I mean like 20 to 25 people over,
a lot of beer, a shit dick of weed,
and a whole, you know, book full of LSD,
because that's what was going on at the time, right?
We were all doing a lot of hallucinogens,
mushrooms, and psychedelics and stuff like that.
Back to them, in fact, if you'll reference our previous
depressive.
Yeah.
And I'm, so I'm maybe 16 at the time, right? Yeah, 16.
She was 17 or 18.
And so I never forget that the night started off early, like eight o'clock.
A bunch of people came over.
Everyone starts getting pretty ripped and weird, right?
And there's like, oh, yeah, when you're that age, too, you're just trying to drink those
beers as fast as you can.
It's fast as you can.
You want to funnel them, right?
And I wasn't a drinker at the time,
but I was making up, what I wasn't doing
and what I wasn't drinking at alcohol,
I was making up for and everything else.
And I decide quickly that I'm just gonna get the night
started and party hardy.
I'm gonna go ahead and smoke the world's biggest joint
with this guy who was known for,
rolling the world's biggest joint.
And I'm gonna not take one, not take two,
but take three hits of LSD
because that sounds like the right thing to do
when my dad is out of town
and we're left irresponsibly by ourselves, right?
And so the night gets starts getting weird,
like around nine o'clock.
That's because it would.
The party starts at eight and the night gets weird about nine.
You know, shit's getting weird.
Like there's a lot of people in my house.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm hiding in my bedroom half the time,
the other half of the time.
I'm like, you know.
Yes.
Do you wanna listen to a new song I wrote?
Listen, get my guitar.
That's a broomstick, Ryan, not a guitar.
But it sounds so good.
So I remember waiting for Angela to get off work because she was going to come over to the party after work.
And I was pretty sure tonight's the night, right?
Tonight's the night.
I feel like I'm Dean Bodie now.
I'm just making songs about the time.
So she comes over at, let's call it 10 or 10 30.
She comes over to just 20, 25 people over in my house
and everybody is now twisted.
I mean twisted up and this is not necessarily her scene,
but I think she's trying to act cool.
I think she's trying to act cool,
at least that's the way I'm perceiving.
I can't even see her face.
I'm just like, I'm feeling the energy.
Yeah, just picking up the vibes from the ethereal universe.
And then the eventually, and I never made mention that I had done anything before she showed
up, but I'm sure she knew, but, you know, there was no conversation about it.
Toward the middle of the night, or getting a little later on the night, it's a call midnight,
we retire to my bedroom with my Pearl Jam posters and my guitar that I never learned how to play.
And your broomstick.
And we retire.
Your piano in there?
My piano is not in there.
It's downstairs.
Oh, trust me, that'll make an appearance later on in the night.
But we get upstairs and Angela starts to get a little, wants to get a little intimate.
She wants to get a little cozy. And wants to get a little cozy and this understandable.
She's had a few beers. I've had a sheet of acid.
I can't feel my penis, but things are going well, right?
That's cuddle.
And so we start making out and all of the sudden, it's just like the best sex in the world that I am having, right?
I'm having the best sex in the world, holy.
I'm sure of it.
It's mind-blowing, colors, explosions, mushroom clouds, little, you know, little seamen running
around in my head and swirling and whirling and all this other stuff.
It's just, I'm seeing magical things and feeling magical things until I realize that we're
not having sex at all.
It's a matter of fact,
we don't have any articles of clothing are off at all.
We're completely clothed, 100% clothed,
but I had gone into this space for like five hours,
it felt like where I was just having mind blowing sex apparently with myself.
Because there was actually nothing going on. We were like, maybe pecking on the lips or something.
So you kind of like refocused and realized all of this?
You know how you just like kind of come in and out of it, you know, when you get a little drunk
or whatever it is, wherever you've been out there in the audience, you kind of, if you take it a little bit too far,
sometimes you can pull it back the other way
and kind of refocus for just a second.
It's like if a cop pulls you over when you're drunk, right?
Which I hope that never happens
when you're a cop pulls you over when you're drunk,
or you see a police officer in your high and QT
or whatever, you're like,
oh, pull it together, shit, I gotta get it together.
Yeah, so I'm like, this is amazing.
Things are going swimmingly. I'm having, I must be blowing minds here, right? And so I kind get it together. Yeah, so I'm like, this is amazing. Things are going swimmingly.
I'm having, I must be blowing minds here, right?
And so I kind of pull it back together
just to check out the scenery and what I realized
is there's no clothes on, there's no clothes off
but so ever.
As a matter of fact, if I remember correctly,
we're not even laying down,
we're just like sitting next to each other.
On the bed.
On the bed.
Having sex in my head with the Chuck E. Cheese manager. Another cautionary tale, all the children out there in the world. This is where the education.
This is where that's right. So all the teachers who have now recommended this to their, all
the teachers who are now playing this in their virtual classrooms across the world. This
is another lesson in let me explain.
You start off with one hit of acid
and then you go to two after a couple of hours.
You don't start with three and get to six or 12
or whatever it is, you gotta start with one.
Low and slow.
Yeah, you gotta manage your shit.
Manage your shit.
Yeah.
I remember like, I went to the,
I went to like a big party
in the woods type thing, you know, you know.
The parties in the woods, yeah.
The parties in the woods.
We won't reveal any party in the wood information,
but a party in the wood, and there's like a guy
who was like just as fucked up as I was that night,
but he's like in his 40s, right?
He's kind of tearing ass around the party,
like knocking people over and hugging trees
and pulling down his pants every once in a while
and just like,
and there's this other guy who is also probably
just as inebriated as him.
And since I have long since doing hallucinogens
at this point, I'm just at a few beers, right?
But I'm like, this guy's out of control.
He's gonna hurt somebody.
He's gonna stick his dick in a,
he's gonna stick his dick in an amplifier.
Yeah. He's gonna stick his dick in a... He's gonna stick his dick in an amplifier. No fire.
Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the kind of the grizzled old veteran was like grabbed him by his shirt collar and just kind of
pulled him close and said, you got to manage your shit, bro. Manage your shit. The guy looked
right back and he goes, manage my shit. Yeah, bro. Yeah. And often to the woods he went half you know ankle pants around his ankles I have cock yeah screaming
Man that's my shit
There's parties in the woods
Chucky cheese
Now I think most of them are closed right?
I don't think there's a whole lot of them that are still open
But there is a whole group of human beings that is dedicated in to that pizza
It's like the it's like a fan club but there is a whole group of human beings that is dedicated to that pizza.
It's like a fan club.
People love the pizza itself.
The pizza itself.
Like they think it's one of the best pizzas in the world.
And I'm not kidding.
Sure it was really cheap.
I'm pretty sure it was frozen pizza from Kroger.
Exactly.
I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure there was nothing delicious about.
I mean, listen, for frozen pizza, I guess it was okay. And if you're hungry and around a bunch of children, you'll eat anything, right?
And but I doubt there was a pizza artist and like a wood like a
Wood brick
Stone pizza stone oven brick oven you don't you don't think that we're hauling in
Brick pizza ovens from Italy and straight from Italy now
Artisan pizza
Artisan pizza for the seven to nine-year-old group
We're doing great in our target market of six to nine year olds. How did you know they told us it was great? That's how we know
We gave them a piece of pizza if they told us our pizza was great.
Oh man, you know, a focused group indeed.
You know the, I don't know if you heard this, but Twitter has now suspended 8,000, 10,000, something like that.
Twitter accounts associated with this group of people that believe in Q or QAnon, right?
Yeah, is it QAnon?
I don't know if it's QAnon or QAnon or QAnon.
QAnon, okay.
QAnon.
I heard this.
Yeah.
And I think it's a very interesting, I think it's a very interesting debate.
I mean, I, I think it's no secret here.
I personally don't think much of the QAnon group.
I think it's, they just kind of peddled dangerous conspiracies.
But then there was this guy on my Facebook page who kept posting on my Facebook page.
We're all good conspiracies go to live. That's, or to be, to become a conspiracy, you have to start on my Facebook. We're all good conspiracies go to live.
That's to become a conspiracy.
You have to start off on Facebook or Twitter, right?
And now they're limited to just Facebook
because of course Facebook is a cesspool of fucking bullshit.
But there's this guy on my Facebook
who believes in this Q and on or Q and on
or whatever it is, is telling him specifically
things that are going to happen in the future, right? He's like decoding all of these messages. And so
every day four to five times a day, he decodes some message from, I guess, the actual QAnon,
who's supposedly sending messages, how, I mean, I don't even know where to begin.
Is it a person? That's what they think. No, oh, okay.
No, that's what they think.
And why they think the QAnon followers
thinks that someone in the NSA
or high up in the White House administration
here in the United States is on Twitter
giving out this secret information
to alert his followers about what's coming and what's going on.
They called the great awakening.
So there's this guy on my Facebook
who's decoding all of his bullshit all the time.
I can't even get into half of it
because he's gonna give me a fucking headache
and I really don't wanna go down this rabbit hole
of Q and on, but I will say this.
He posted the other day,
and I know some people aren't gonna find this funny,
but I find it funny. He posted the other day. And I know some people aren't going to find this funny, but I find it funny.
He posted the other day that Hillary Clinton has been killing children. What she does is
she gets them to run around or get them real stressed out. So their adrenaline levels get
real high. And then she kills them and she drinks their blood for the adrenaline of a child.
Right. And he was like, you're gonna find out. Everyone's gonna find out.
The great awakening is happening. And I'm like, holy shit, dude. The great awakening is happening
right inside your brain. The schizophrenia has turned a fuck on, bro. What are you? What?
Yeah, did you de-friend him? Right away. Defended him immediately. I mean, actually, I took him off my
stream, right? And yeah, because I don't believe in silencing people
who don't necessarily believe in what I believe.
And no one, you don't have to believe what I believe.
I'm, you know, whatever, that's a fun,
but it seems like such a dangerous thing to believe.
Like, I mean, have some fucking common sense.
Do you think that there's a bunch of people
around Hillary Clinton watching her kill children
and drinking their blood?
Do you think that even makes fucking sense?
No, of course it doesn't.
But some magic man on the internet who hasn't even revealed himself, you don't even know
his name, could be multiple people, could be thousands of people, could be Russian trolls
or bots or whatever it is.
And they just keep on spouting off these coded messages and you've turned it into their
drinking Hillary Clinton's drinking children's blood.
Oh fuck. That's blood. The fuck.
That's incredible.
They don't serve that shit at Chuck E. Cheese.
I'll tell you that.
That's all I'm talking about.
That right now for sure.
There are a bunch of hyper kids there, though.
Maybe that's where they're getting the kids.
Yeah, that's true.
There are a bunch of hyper kids there.
Holy something's got to stop.
Something has got to stop.
And I'm going to tell you about it right
now. I made the mistake and just get out my notes here. I'm going to get serious for a second.
I made the mistake for Christmas. My mom's been on my phone plan for a while. I got her like a
flip phone that does nothing except for dial and she couldn't even seem to manage to figure out how
to dial the phone. Which God bless her. She's a lady of a certain age and you know, she just didn't
never took the time to figure it out so she doesn't really know.
But around Christmas time, I decided she, oh, I gave her this phone a couple years ago
and then she gave it to one of her friends at the senior citizen home at the retirement
community.
She gave it to one of her friends and then her friend had it for a year.
So every time I tried to call my fucking mother, this other lady would, hello?
Yes, it's Vicki there.
Vicki? Yeah, let me go down into her room and find her and I'm like down into a room and find her. Her phone should be with her.
Yeah, she asked me to watch it for her and watch it for her.
should be with her. Yeah, she asked me to watch it for her and watch it for her. It's not a fucking dog. It's a cell phone. Plug it into the wall. Let it go. My mom just could
not seem to figure this out. So I made the incredibly dumb mistake of saying, but my
mother kept saying to me, but honey, if I could like text message and email and stuff, then
everything would be fine. Like then I could, then I wouldn like text message and email and stuff, then everything would be fine.
Like then I couldn't, then I wouldn't have to bother you
so much with the phone calls.
I could just send you a text every once in a while.
Famous last words.
Cause I made the,
Oh my God.
Sounds like a good idea.
Sounds and I say sounds.
Oh my God, healthy.
I made the incredibly dumb mistake
in coordination with my wife.
So I'm giving her 50% of the responsibility
for this dumb mistake.
I've decided to go get her a jitterbug smartphone.
Do you know jitterbug is?
Oh, the jitterbug.
Jitterbug.
Okay, for those of you who don't know what the jitterbug is,
jitterbug is a phone company here in the United States.
Maybe all over the world, I'm not really sure.
Jitterbug is a company that specifically makes telephones
for older folks, big buttons, large loud ringtones.
You can get on the internet,
like the home screen is literally,
it says in large letters, text, press here, email, press here,
internet, press here.
So I make the mistake of telling my mother,
okay, I'm gonna get you one of these smartphones.
But because of the pandemic,
I wasn't able to get that smartphone
until about two months ago or a month ago, didn't come.
I got it.
And now all Holy Hell has unleashed on my telephone, Chrissy.
My mom, it's got a text, it's got a talk to text function.
And my mother has used this talk to text function in ways that are unimaginable.
My mother has gone for the Guinness Book of World Record,
talk to text message back to back to back.
And I think she's got it.
She is now like, I think one message,
I'll let you take a look at this,
maybe I'll put this on the website here.
One message is 70 text messages deep, Chrissy.
Wow.
70.
And this is going on at all hours of the night and day.
When my mom has a thought, she farts,
or she decides to take a shower, I know about it,
and I know all the thoughts that go into
how she's gonna fart, walk, or take a shower.
And that doesn't include any of the more serious stuff
like, you know, whatever, how she's feeling
or what happened with Irving or whatever the hell she's talking about, she is talking right into that phone
just as if we were on a phone call and it's just coming into my phone left and right.
It's awful and I've got to stop it.
It's a disgrace.
It's a crime against humanity and I'm really upset.
Well, yeah, and it brings up the fact too that you're probably like, oh no, it's just
mom again.
And now you're not really looking at it.
That's right.
What was she saying?
Let me give you an example of one of these text messages.
Because also, the talk to text function only works if you actually are talking correctly,
right?
If the talk to text can keep up with you.
If it can't keep up with you,
there's a certain way you got to talk to a text message.
There's almost like a robot to really get it correctly.
If you're just talking like you and I are talking,
there's gonna be all kind of jibble jibble words
that are coming.
So my mom isn't quite learned this yet,
and I'll give her some time, but here we go.
Just wondering what your thoughts were.
I'm going to accept, curious, your opinion,
met a couple gals.
Here we are in my place, Venezuela.
They, phone numbers, parents, too, can visit.
Sure, I'll be over my computer.
It says Judge Judy from her country.
It goes on to read.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It goes on to read, wait, I lost my place. It goes on to read, wait, it was like, where is, I lost my place.
It goes on to read, do you agree?
I'm sure, terribly, text, Patrick, I thought, should anybody, we don't, they do, Patrick
kind, we were sick, I was wondering, your thoughts anyway, relationship, maybe she should,
maybe I don't, maybe we would.
That is the conclusion of page one of seven of my mother's text messages that I've been getting day in, day out, night after night from my mother during this pandemic now. It has become really
a pain of my existence. So I had to have like she wants your opinion on something, your thoughts.
She wants my thoughts
You're deciphering the cup. I actually think my mom is quayon on
I think my mom is quayon on
Perfect conspiracy that's right. I think that she's putting these right on the Twitter What happened is there's a bunch, like a million people have started following my mom's Twitter account
when actually she's just tweeting from her jitter butt.
And they're like, the grid awakening is happening.
And my mom is like, do nothing, see you later.
Though, now, weren't the President Trump.
But this morning I wake up to,
so I had to have a conversation with my mom
and explain to her that 30 to 50 text messages
is not appropriate
It's not what text messaging was designed for unless you're breaking up with somebody or you're having
Unless you're breaking up with somebody or explaining why you can't go to work today
There's just no reason to have that many words in a text message
Yes, so I explained to my mom this and I I tell her that just you got just gotta slow down.
Just pretend like it's just a short message
to say hello or goodbye,
or if there's an emergency or something like that,
you're alerting people to what,
and I don't know your,
another word thing is,
is I don't know what you're talking about
because the words don't match.
They're not coming together
in any kind of coherent sentence mother.
And so she says, okay, I got it 10-4, right?
And then she goes, do you think an email would be better?
And I was like, mom, I think an email would be better
for this length of words, but it's still not
going to make much sense to anybody, right?
And she's doing this to Astrid by the way too.
So I'm not the only one in the household getting this.
And I'm sure my brothers are receiving it too,
but they refuse to talk to me right now
when I'm sure this is not.
It's either the podcast or my mom texting. I'm not sure.
They're not talking to me.
Ah.
This morning, I get a two text message,
three text messages from my mother, just three.
The first one, I will meet you at the strip club.
I am going to the Trump rally.
Am I using text messages better now
with a smiley face emoji?
Well done, mother.
Well done.
I have to give you an A for effort.
And for the three.
Yeah.
Listen, your dad text message, you doesn't he?
But in an appropriate way.
He does. His in an appropriate way.
He does.
His very short, too.
It's like, I'll be like, hey, dad, you know, can't wait to see you.
This is before the pandemic.
This is a classic way example.
Hey, dad, can't wait to come see you.
I'm really excited.
And I kind of like did a little bit of the lengthy one
and used some exhalation points and he just wrote back, okay.
Thanks, dad. Well, good talk. and he just wrote back, okay.
Thanks, dad.
Well, good talk. He's a good talk.
That's excited.
It's like, oh, it sounds like.
Oh, Lord, man, I'll tell you what.
I don't know what to do.
It, I, you know, we did a bit.
You can go back and listen to it.
I'm not sure what it was episode number three or four.
And I did a bit about my mother trying to figure out how to listen to the podcast,
a little comedy bit, and leaving me
an extremely long telephone message about it.
But it's true, my mom leaves extremely long telephone messages,
but no longer, because those messages come directly
to my phone via text message,
gotta find a way to put a stop to it.
That's what, I will update you on this
because I'm gonna find a way.
I might just pull the data from her phone plan,
and that way she can text all she wants,
it's just gonna go nowhere
Like yeah mom, I got your message no problem
Sounds good sounds good. I agree
That is wayla
Me just a strip club maga 2020
MAGA 2026
You're called MAGA 2020.
MAGA 2026.
I, before we go, I have to tell you about something. So I was scouring the internet.
Scouring, actually, I was scouring the podcast charts
just to see if I could find my name on there.
Being totally egomaniac.
My therapist says I should cut it out,
but you know, I like to do it.
I was scouring the podcast charts,
and I was like, you know,
I don't know how I found this.
It wasn't on a chart necessarily,
but I found, and that was listening
to just like random podcasts, right?
Just to see what they're up to.
Like, what are my fellow podcasters out there,
especially newer ones who have started
during the pandemic like us,
like are they having a measure of success?
There's a lot.
There are now a million active podcasts around the world says this research company that
keeps a whole, you know, keeps track of these statistics, a million active podcasts.
And every day famous people are getting into it.
I mean, it's like podcasting and taking it.
And I love the medium.
I've always loved audio as a medium radio, you know, satellite radio, whatever it is,
and I just love it, so welcome
with the more the merrier as far as I'm concerned.
But, so I found a random podcast, completely random.
Wasn't on the charts, wasn't anywhere.
Don't even remember how I got to this podcast.
But this guy is named Dean,
and then he calls the show, The Dean Bodyshow,
because it's Dean and then his
dog Bodys. I'm assuming they are the two that just live in the household wherever it is
he lives. It's called The Dean Bodyshow. Give him a shout out. And when I first watched
the show, I found it to be rather interesting. Like it was kind of of a strange little program.
He did one every day or two every day.
And he does his 30 minute broadcasts where he gets on,
he sings his own theme song.
And then he does like, it's almost like Cabaret
in the middle of his program.
He'll be telling a story about like Burger King.
Back, like I went to Burger King back when I,
I went to Burger King back when I was 17 years old.
And man, I'll tell you what, the Flamin' Wapper and Blub,
you know, Flamin' Wapper beat the big Mac and here's why because of the song, it was so much better, you know, double pickle, onions 17 years old. And man, I'll tell you what, the Flamin' Whopper and, you know, Flamin' Whopper beat the big Mac and here's why,
because of the song, it was so much better, you know,
double pickle, one, the other, blah, blah, blah.
He starts singing like the Whopper theme song.
And I'm like, wow, that's like idiot-savante type bullshit,
right? I mean, it's just like totally insane.
What?
At first, I thought to myself,
well, what in the hell is this podcast?
Like, what is he doing with this podcast, right?
It's not conventional, I can appreciate that.
But I mean, who wants to hear some guy singing
about the Wapper theme song?
Chrissy, I have been fucking sucked into this podcast.
It's like performance art now.
Like, Dean is doing something that I think
very few podcasters or people on this earth could ever do.
And that is, first of all, in endurance tests to do a podcast or two, every fucking day.
And he's got a YouTube channel too.
He's doing this every single day, 30 minutes at a clip.
You know how hard it is for us to do just an hour of content a week.
I'm not complaining about it, but it's unbelievable how you do these podcasts.
It takes us an immense amount of brain power just to do an hour
to figure out all the topics.
And we do a couple shows a week,
we put some in the can and we do this and we do that.
This guy's doing this every day by himself.
And what he's doing is he's singing his own jingles
and doing his own things.
It's, it's, it's, it's, it'll be in the middle of a story
and then he'll be like, you know,
so I'll go along Mac and I, I went and took her
her down to the place and then he'll go on with this story.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
What, Dean, what happened there?
You're just like, you had a breakdown.
You sang a song and you came back to the story.
And at first I was like, this is rather disconcerting.
But now I'm like, this is amazing.
This show, everybody should be watching this show.
This is as good as 90 day fiance.
Dean is...
I don't know how to explain it.
It's performance art.
That's all I have to say.
And I have such appreciation for what he is doing.
Even if it's not everybody's cup of tea, and I know he's just a brand new podcaster,
I want to play you just a little bit of Dean's show.
If you will, let's just play the beginning of the show where he sings his own themes
on.
It's live. This is not a recording it's
live he does this is the beginning of every show that I've watched right
there's like I don't know 100 episodes and probably watch 50 of okay ready
here we go Dean Bowdie on the Dean Bowdie Show
Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan Dean Bowdie Show we like the rough edges over here Dean
Bowdie we're not gonna oh don't forget the teasers they all have Bowdie in the
teaser Bowdie without Bowdie there'sard Dean Bowdie. We're not gonna, oh, don't forget the teasers. They all have Bowdie in the teaser. Bowdie, without Bowdie, there's no Dean Bowdie.
Yeah.
Listen to his voice.
I mean, it's just, he's ready.
One more time.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, Dean Bowdie show.
I can't get it out of my head.
He's like, I said, I listen to shower.
I'm driving down this street. I'm like, da, a song for his dog and he sings that he claims
his dog is 22 years old I think I heard that as him say that one time and I gotta say
I'm you know I'm sure Dean Dean's dog is not 22 years old I'm hoping that Dean's dog is not
22 years old he's injecting him with steroids or some shit but listen to this. Good girl, Bodhi. Good girl, good girl, good girl Bodhi.
She's best dog in the world.
Yeah!
Oh, wait, hold on.
He gets in a plug for his website.
Hold on.
Good girl, good girl Bodhi.
She's the best girl in the world.
Oh yeah.
DeanBody.com.
Don't forget to go to deanvody.com.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
The commercial break.
The commercial break is the best show in the world.
TCPpodcast.com doesn't quite have the same ring, does it?
Yeah.
He's got this guy, he's like, I'm telling you, he's, I don't know what's going on with
Dean Boady.
I don't know.
He sounds happy.
He's always so upbeat and lovely and positive.
And at first I was like, you know, this podcast is funny
and like unintentionally funny, right?
And I got to play a clip from the show.
But after listening to about 50 of these, I have to say,
I've got a real appreciation for what's going on
with Dean and Bodie over there at the Dean Bodie program.
And I'm going gonna continue to watch. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- Here's a text coming in from my here's my mom's text Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Yeah. DeanBody.com. Oh, I can do it all day long.
That's where the God I could.
This is the most interesting thing I've ever seen on YouTube.
I'm 100% sure of it.
Dean, if you're out there, my good buddy,
you keep trucking, buddy.
I wish you all this success.
I really do.
I hope a few people from here just go on over.
That's completely different show.
It's like, it's milk toast, he tells jokes,
he sings a lot of songs.
I go check out Dean Body. I just find it to be the most fascinating thing in the world.
It's a great break from my day, I check in with Dean.
I check in with the dog, I check in with Dean, we're good friends now.
I'm like, hey Dean, what's going on?
Well, this one time I drove in my Camaro.
Good girl, Bodie.
Good girl, Bodie.
She's the best Camaro in the world.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fine.
You'll sing a Billy Joe song in the middle of the night.
She's always a woman to me.
Bottle of red.
Bottle of red.
Bottle of white.
And then.
Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan.
Dean Bowdie show.
Oh. Ha. Ha. Dane Bodhi show Dane Bodhi show Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh
Oh Oh
Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh She's the best dog in the world. Oh yeah. DeanBody.com. DeanBody.com.
Go there and listen to his show.
She's on YouTube too.
That's a good guy.
So, you know, I mean, I don't know.
I don't know what else there is to say.
It's been an interesting week.
And I hope I make it through another week.
I hope you do too, Brian.
Man, we got a lot of listeners out there and I really appreciate everyone who's listening.
It's great, all around the world.
What can I say, how would they?
I don't even know what to say.
How do we thank people?
That's awesome.
I love them.
We're in the global, you know, being braggadocious is not, it's not flattering.
So I don't want to get too braggadocious.
But I will say this, we're in the top 200 comedy podcast in the world
Wow in the world
Which tells me a couple things not as many people listen to brought into the podcast as make them
And number two people have really bad taste of
Oh, I saw that will Ferrell thing you were talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He is with I Heart Media.
Yeah, Chris Williams is the guy that I was talking about.
I got a new network.
Yeah, yeah, they started a new network.
They're looking for up and coming podcast.
Hey, Will, if you're out there, think about us.
We're coming.
Please.
We got happy equation.
Oh my God, tcvfft. We got happy equation. Pfft. Pfft.
Oh my god, tcbpodcast.com is where you go to check out all the show notes.
You can find out more about Chrissy and I.
You can drop us a line, say something.
And in an episode coming up very quickly, we're going to go ahead and we're going to do like
a whole show just about emails and comments because I got a couple picked out.
It's gonna be brilliant.
I know it.
But I want to let you know about something very special
we have coming up next week on this program.
I don't want you to miss out.
This episode number 17,
Chrissy and I are going to do a special TCB investigation
into the Heribu Sugar-Free gummy bears
and whether or not they really give people the shit.
I'm just gonna let you know that. Have you looked at this?
Chrissy, have you seen this? I haven't done the slightest teensy, but I'm
investigating it all this. If you know, you know, but just Google
Harry Boo, the company, Sugar-Free gummy bears. That's all I want you to do. Next week,
very special episode dedicated to Harry Boooth, Sugar Free Gummi Bear.
It's a special investigation by your favorite
internet private investigators,
Chrissy and Brian, tcppodcast.com.
And make sure you join the break room.
There's a couple slots left.
We've got like, I would say like 20 slots left
for the 100 people who are founding members.
They get in, you'll never pay anything for our content
if we ever charge anything.
Now I'm not saying we're gonna charge something. I'm just saying if we ever do, you're gonna
get special benefits and all that. So please join the break room, go to TCPpodcast.com,
all the social medias and what else is there to say? I love you. That's it. Is that?
No, I love you, Brian.
Find us on MySpace and chatter, babe. Or at your local Chuckie cheese hitting on the manager.
Yes.
Or looking up under the stage, curtain.
Oh.
It sounds so creepy.
It sounds so creepy.
You'll find me at Chuck E. Cheese looking up the curtain.
Okay.
The stage, sir.
I just wanted to see what Chuck E had on.
I wanted to see what's doing under that floppy year of his.
And who puts a rat in charge of a pizza pool?
There's a whole story behind that.
I remember reading it a few years ago, but I'll look it back up again.
Probably a rat on the pizza or some shit like that,
some more shit like that.
All right, that's all we got to say.
I love you.
Love you too.
We'll get through this.
We'll see you next week.
On the commercial bank.
Bye.
Bye.
Email us at thecommercialbeatatgmail.com. Find us and follow us on Facebook and Instagram
at the Commercial Break. New episodes drop every Wednesday. We can be found on Spotify,
iHeart Media, Apple, Google and all major podcast providers. The Commercial Break is a great middleweight production,
written and produced by Brian Green,
co-hosted by Chrissy Hodley.
You