The Commercial Break - Best To You, New Nana!

Episode Date: November 7, 2022

Kyle and Rodan write in for advice on a unique situation. The Nana next door is looking to kick her son out of the will and include them in the inheritance! Bryan and Krissy pull no punches and tell t...he boys to give TCB the money and settle the dispute once and for all. TCB is now produced for ONE listener...new Nana! Niko has passed and Bryan is grateful fro the support TCB hits 10 million downloads Bryan is told he is famous by someone who clearly doesn't know him Half Song Hoadley shows up after a few drinks and a Spotify playlist Ask TCB is back with more answers Todd is jerking a little too often Christy wants Dave to know she does not want those kittens! Kyle writes in to discuss a sensitive situation between his neighbor and her son LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for MEN too! Watch Us on YouTube Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! 1.855.TCB.8383  or 661.BEST.2.YO (1-661-237-8296) Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo Special Thanks To Our Commercial Breakers Roxanne Dave Sydney Ronald M Stu Carly Mia Jake DAS Amanda Julie Charlene Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What do you mean you were just being famous? How do you be famous? I guess just being like gorgeous beautiful amazing talented and just a celebrity. I was just being famous. On this episode of the commercial break, you can keep these two podcasts out of podcasts and buying champagne. We'll cut off their RSS speed. They won't know the difference. We'll replace the commercial break with smartness episodes. You'll be better for it.
Starting point is 00:00:34 They'll be better for it. Now I have a feeling that she was preempted by somebody, like somebody made a big deal. Oh, here comes like the guy that I kind of knew was like, There he comes! He's walking in the building right now. This dick is 10 million downloads big! That's the dick of a 10 million download guy. And now that you're here, we'll never let you go.
Starting point is 00:00:58 As a matter of fact, we're gonna check on you three times a week. The commercial break is now gonna open like this. Yes. Welcome to the commercial break. I'm Brian, this is Chrissy. Best of you, Chrissy. Best of you, Brian. Best of you, Nana. Hope you're doing great. Groceries are on the way. Extra depends and why Brian 3000?
Starting point is 00:01:19 The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, Kaz again, welcome back to the commercial break. I am Brian Green, this is my dear friend, Ann Kohov. Kristen Joy, hold me, invest in you, Chrissy. I invest in you, bro. I invest in you out there in the podcast universe. Hallelujah, thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this, the commercial break. It's not for everyone, but back news or fiction
Starting point is 00:01:47 is guaranteed in 15 seconds or less, or your money back, go to theTCBpodcast.com website, to collect your earnings. Well, we're back from just like a short break because I, it's some of you heard the episode, the last episode, then you heard that we had to put Nico down. Yeah. Which was a sad occasion.
Starting point is 00:02:07 Yes, Nico has been the subject of episodes, like whole episodes where we just talked about Nico, the smelly ghost dog. He was in the background barking a lot because he was seen highly, didn't know what was going on. Nico had lived a long and fruitful life, and he brought a lot of joy to everyone around him. He's a very sweet soul.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Very sweet. And if you didn't hear the intro to the last episode, then I will be happy to repeat the story. That Nico, we got Nico from a family member who was unable to care for the dog after her husband passed away. She just had a lot of things going on. And Nico, sometimes, it wasn't the prior ones She just had a lot of things going on and Nico,
Starting point is 00:02:45 you know, sometimes, you know, wasn't the prior one. There was a lot going on, right? She had a lot of important things she was dealing with and of dealing with the loss of her husband. Yeah. So this husband was my best friend's father, was the reason, part of the reason why Astrid and I got together.
Starting point is 00:03:02 It was like, serendipitous, how this all happened. And one of the ways that happened was and I got together. It was like serendipitous how this all happened and one of the ways that happened was. Shout out to Rafa. Shout out to Rafa, shout out to his father. It was like a father to me and then to Tia Medi, he who is the dog's owner when we got him. So anyway, so this dog slept at the foot of a dying cancer patient, which was...
Starting point is 00:03:24 Your best friend's father. My best friend's father, we call them Pinto, was Pinto. And he fought a valiant effort with stage four, I think, prostate cancer for like seven years. They gave him like seven months to live. He fought for seven years, valiant effort, and Niko laid at his foot for the entirety of this since he was a puppy until the time when we brought him home.
Starting point is 00:03:41 So he was like a true angel. He was just there and he was so gentle and he loved everybody. I mean, he was a little scared of some people, but he loved everybody and everybody loved him. As he had older, he just started to smell a little funky and things started to break down as they do when you get older. So, Kristine, I've been talking about this on the show for months, but he was all white too. And I'm picturing him two with like wings.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Yeah, little doggy wings. Line off into heaven. And I bet there's some puppy. Raise you up. And then I bet there's some puppy that has just been born that has... Has Nico's Spear. That's right. Or maybe a squirrel.
Starting point is 00:04:18 I can't see Nico being a squirrel. Yeah, like a real shy squirrel. Maybe the cat. Oh God, please no. So... Maybe a sweet cat. He could be a sweet cat Yeah, like a real shy squirrel. Maybe the cat. Oh God, please no. So. Maybe a sweet cat. He could be a sweet cat. Sweet cats could kill me.
Starting point is 00:04:29 No, no cats. Anyway, Nico passed away. We took a couple of days off just so, because it was hard. It was tough. That was a tough thing to go through. Of course it is. When you put a dog down, that's not,
Starting point is 00:04:38 if you've ever done it. And lots of people I'm sure have. It's very sad. It's very stressful. It's very sad. You wonder if you made the right decision. You feel a little bit of guilt because you literally have somebody's life, something's life in your hand. It's kind sad. It's very sad. It's very stressful. It's very sad. You wonder if you made the right decision. You feel a little bit of guilt because you literally have somebody's life, some things life in your hand.
Starting point is 00:04:48 It's kind of crazy. But we weighed the pros and cons for many months and just felt like a couple things happened a couple days beforehand and I was like, I don't want him to suffer. Yeah, it's time. So thank you to all the people who wrote in nice emails and sweet text messages about Niko and I really do appreciate it. It really lifted my spirits when I was not feeling great. Actually, Chrissy was in here recording the day after and we kind of had to can the episodes.
Starting point is 00:05:15 I was like, I'm just not in. I'm just not into it. Your energy was off. It was down, baby. Down. I just star man. Yeah. What is off?
Starting point is 00:05:23 I'm normally at a 30. I was at like a nine. down I just are man was I'm normally at a 30 I was like a nine Tell the sad. Yeah, I know these microphones go on and I'm mr. personality, but you know I just couldn't muster. I just could not muster and so I listen back to the episodes actually I just can't I'm like that's I don't even sound like I'm in the room. I'm just wasn't in the room I was the ghost Brian was the ghost Brian with the smelly good ghost dog known as Niko now officially a smelly ghost dog known as Niko. No more smell. I think he's free of the smell. He's free of the smell. So it was my house by the way. Yeah. It's amazing how that happened.
Starting point is 00:05:55 The first thing Astrid did was you brought his doggy bed and she's like, let's put that in the garbage. That's going out for sure. I mean, that'd be crazy about it. but we were like, yeah, let's not. And you know what the funny thing is that the vet told me while this process was going on, I was in the room and it took a while and so the vet was there comforting me and really they were just so wonderful over the vet's office, but he said, listen, now,
Starting point is 00:06:16 you know, we were talking about the kids and he's like, you know, just tell the kids, the dog died, right? You know, sometimes people get whatever. But then he says, you know, he's really gonna know this? Blue, blue is gonna know this and blue is gonna be upset for a while, so you gotta know, sometimes people get whatever. But then he says, you know, he's really gonna know this? Blue, Blue's gonna know this, and Blue's gonna be upset for a while, so you gotta really pay attention to Blue. And so Blue's been getting the five-star
Starting point is 00:06:30 fucking treatment around here for the first time in a long time, and she has actually calmed down quite a bit over the last week. I think she is a little bit sad, yeah. She didn't seem like it when I walked in. Oh, she didn't. No. Wait, you can't teach that old dog new tricks.
Starting point is 00:06:43 So anyway, I just wanted to put a can on it and say thank you to everybody. Well remember you forever, my little buddy, Nico. He'll always be remembered in TCB world. Yes, he will. He's immortalized on cellulose or digital cellulose. Literally, there are episodes about Nico. So there you go. He was good content while it lasted.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Like, yes, we gotta find something else to do. Back to Frankie B. Back to Frankie B. Less Nico more Frankie. Until he becomes a smelly ghost dog of his own. So, but I did want to mention some really just positive TCB news. And I cannot believe this.
Starting point is 00:07:20 And we usually, we don't, two-daw our own horns around here. We're actually pretty humble about this whole thing. It is, beep, beep, beep. But as my daughter goes, ooh, ooh, ooh. That's right, you guys get the horn going with the truckers. With the truckers. Yeah, I encourage my daughters.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Stay away from the truckers, actually. You know what the crazy thing is? Oh, while we're talking about truckers, there was a lady who wrote us and she is an over-the-road trucker. Like a long haul truck in over the road trucker. Like a long haul trucker? Long haul trucker, I believe I am. I, and she said.
Starting point is 00:07:50 Those truckers are amazing. We wouldn't have any of the stuff that we have that we're able to just go by wherever and do whatever without the truck. Without the truck and the truckers. And now this is like the, I have total respect for them. Me too.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Me too. This is like the 10th trucker who has wrote in that they like to listen to the commercial right now I don't know what the fuck we're doing I mean I can't believe truckers might be the way they are target audience but this young lady wrote and she just said how much you love the show and that it was good for her what time on the road and I think I think we kind of seem like we're part of the room yeah that's where we're having conversations I've always been known as the we're part of the room. Yeah, that's true. We're having conversations. I've always been known as the guy who's just part of the room.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Hahaha. Hey, did you see Ryan at the party? Yeah, I didn't. Where was he? I don't know. He was a little like the curtain over there at the corner. He just kind of fades into the background. You do not fade.
Starting point is 00:08:39 No, I do not. No, I'm not guy. I have a long must know. Oh, my God. Hahaha. It's not going there. I'm not guy. I see long must knows. Yeah. Oh my god. That's not go there. It's not even necessary. We know.
Starting point is 00:08:50 It's all going to hell in a hand basket. We're all fucking doomed. We all know it. God bless. Good luck to you, Elon on that Twitter whole Twitter thing. But so I wanted to tell you that on October 26th of 2021, the commercial break that started early in 2020 reached one million downloads, which is like an incredible feat for any milestone. I brought a bottle of champagne.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Yes, that's right. I remember that. So we're at a million downloads, we talked about it for weeks and weeks and weeks, and then, and, you know, we move on because we don't want to sit around here and make ourself sound so fantastic because we really are. But as of three days ago, now this was October 26th of 2021. We are nearly a year in just a couple of days since then. The commercial break has reached 10 million downloads. Does that mean 10 million dollars?
Starting point is 00:09:45 They're coming too. Good luck on that one. Let me do the math. I'm so excited. I dollar for every download. Thank you, it's yours. Thank you so much. Please go to tcvpodcast.com.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Hit the donate now button. These two stupid podcasters are yet to realize how dumb they really are. Are you going to let them suffer for the cost of a coffee a day? A day. You can keep these two podcasters out of podcasters. And buying champagne. We'll cut off their RSS feed. They won't know the difference.
Starting point is 00:10:24 We'll replace the commercial break with smartest episodes. You'll be better for it. They'll be better for it. 10 million downloads. Hey, thank you so much because that has everything to do with you and you're connecting with the show. We really appreciate it. We get so many nice people that have been writing in.
Starting point is 00:10:43 I just say a few of the names. Jack, Savannah, Charlene, Julie, Amanda, to Reese, Big Will, the Champ Tina. I mean, all these wonderful people, I could go on and on. There's like literally, I could list 150 people that have been writing in or texting in. And we do respond. I actually respond to these people.
Starting point is 00:10:58 It's kind of becoming a job, actually, just to respond. Well, involve me. No, I'm not gonna do that. You mean a couple glasses of wine, Chrissy? Ah, couple glasses. And some tax? That's exactly what I'm afraid of. We call our half song, Houdley, for a reason.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Yeah. I have a text to you, she'll be like, hey, thanks so much. On to the next one. Hey, I really appreciate you. On to the next one. We call our half song, HODEY, because when Chrissy and I were running around town, galloping around town, we was of different times. Forming our friendship. Forming our friendship.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Drinking 12 to 18 Bud lights at a time. At a sitting. Chrissy, we loved to listen to music. So Chrissy would pop up on the music. I have a big music person. And I have a lot of playlists and different things and I get so excited about this song. And then like I hear the first part of it. And then I was like, oh, hold on one second. I got another one.
Starting point is 00:11:55 So over the years we started calling our half song, oh, thank you. That's of Chrissy's drunk it in the room. You're not getting through a full song. I'm on the next one. Do you still do that with Jeff? No, I've learned. Yeah, I did. He gave you the things. Did he ever like a talk with you? Was he like, okay, Chrissy, you got to let the song play with me. Well, between you, calling me have song, hopefully.
Starting point is 00:12:14 And then other people saying things, then maybe Jeff saying something, I just, now I let the song play. So we love you. It was. Unless. It's a special occasion. Unless it's play. We love you. Unless. Unless. Is a special occasion.
Starting point is 00:12:27 It's Friday. Have some only on Fridays. I love you. It's just a. Listen, we all have our quirks. I was. I'm sure I'm sure I just have so much good music. I want to let get down to the. What you do. That's for sure. There's no doubt about that. I'll give you that. You do have a pretty extensive knowledge base and list Playlist of songs. That's just amazing you and Jeff You're probably the most knowledgeable music people that I know everyone's got those friends You know those friends that are just like total audio files. Yeah, every song from everybody at every time I thought I was an audio file so I met Jeff and Chris and now they have
Starting point is 00:13:00 Tens of thousands of songs and records and tapes and all this other shit. And it's like, it's a little dizzying actually sometimes. And then we go. Music is the soundtrack of our lives. That's right. Music is the half soundtrack of our lives. Soundtrack of our half life of our half life. It's quicker we get through the song than where we live. So thank you to everybody who's been writing.
Starting point is 00:13:21 I want to say that we actually got Julie wrote in. And she was kind of given me the run down on the metaverse, right? She was trying to fill me in because of course, I've tried to go in the metaverse, but I must have a tag on my head that says, that white male desktop user plus my avatar is sure since sandals on. Somebody said, get away from me. They said get away from me.
Starting point is 00:13:41 And sent you to an island where there was a ferry that never came to pick you up. No, never. It just was always right off. I just couldn't get to it. Other people were going to the party and I was left on the island. Where's the party? If you have to ask where the party is, you're not getting to the party. Yeah, that's true. But Julie explained to me, so she sent me this video. Yeah, that's true. But Julie explained to me, so she sent me this video. We're talking about a part of World of Warcraft, right? Which is like a point of view game, like a, you know, whatever they call them.
Starting point is 00:14:14 A part of it. So, yeah, very famous game. I've never played it, but I've watched people play World of Warcraft. There's a section of World of Warcraft called Gold Shire, where people are trading virtual sex for real money. So they go into, it's a house, it's like a little area. And in this area, it's a brothel, essentially, it's like a virtual brothel. And you go into
Starting point is 00:14:38 this virtual brothel. And there are videos of this on the internet where like, you know, they're recording themselves going into the brothel, picking where like, you know, they're recording themselves going into the brothel picking somebody out, you know, You know having a whole exchange with them and the bunny ranch. It's kind of like the bunny ranch It's only it's in the metaverse and I don't understand this because there's no I don't think there's no real nudity in World of Warcraft I think it's just like you can position the characters so they kind of look like they're doing it to each other If you like taking to you know stuffed animals and animals and just pretending, there's nothing really in these in my opinion too sexual about it, but people are trading real supposedly, allegedly, trading real money for virtual sex.
Starting point is 00:15:18 So I told you this was happening. I told you this was happening. You're going to get like a half-hour half, and they have all these weird and wild avatars, right? They have these huge ogres, and they have these, you know, the little pointy ears. It's fantasy. Tails, it's all fantasy.
Starting point is 00:15:34 So you're gonna have a little ogre baby, that you're gonna have to pay for. I'm telling you, you gotta grow up and buy ogre diapers, and ogre food, what do ogres eat? Slop, I don't know what they eat, but it's gonna be expensive out there. You know, inflation hits the real world, and the metaverse too, Chrissy, I'm just going to let you know that. And so shout out to Julie for trying to educate me on the metaverse.
Starting point is 00:15:50 I feel less knowledgeable now than I did before you had some more confused about it. We need like a meta, truly like a metaverse tutorial, I think. I know. I told you my, my nephew, Henry, totally offered to come and be our correspondent on the Metaverse. We get Henry on the phone. Yes, we can. He is begging to come on here. He loves it. I like Henry. I trust Henry. Let's get him in the Metaverse and then I want to send him some conferences so that he can ask some questions on behalf of TCB. But while we were at it, so while we were just, you know, saying congratulations to ourselves
Starting point is 00:16:26 and talking about all the texts, congratulations to ourselves. We're sisters, but no one fucking cares. We get suddenly, they get cares. It's such an arbitrary thing. Is that in the metaverse or in the realverse? It's certainly not in the realverse. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:40 I don't see any of these people out there. I went to like a podcast, they look like a mini podcast, get together, you know, like a meetup type thing. So I go to the meetup and I know one or two people there. And I know the guy who's putting on the meetup. So I walk in the door, the guy who's putting on the meetup, Chris Krimitzos, who's like, he runs pod fast,
Starting point is 00:17:04 one of these big pod casting things, comes up and him and I are talking for him in it. And then we walk back inside, it's in a restaurant. We walk back inside the room where this is being held. And there are like- There have been the meetups. Yeah. You know, it's usually like odd, like you're just kind of standing there.
Starting point is 00:17:19 Yeah, I think I wrote you a go to a meetup or two with me. Oh my God, I think we went to like a Rra sys boom-bock conference about underwear or something What were you wrote in and fields or some shit? I think we did. And at the end I was like yeah! Let's do it! I'm in! I got so taken in, so dumb But wrote in and fields unlike some other stuff. I think it's actually real so no their skin care is great actually Yeah, okay So I walk in and I turn the corner and there's like four or five people standing around each
Starting point is 00:17:47 of this one guy that I kind of know. So he says, oh, hey Brian, come over here. I want you to introduce you to some people. And I start going around shaking everybody's hand and one of the women is like, oh, I know who you are. You're famous. And I was like, what? I go, no, I'm not.
Starting point is 00:18:01 And she goes, yeah, you're famous. You're like, you're on the commercial break. I know who you are. You're like, you're like a famous podcaster. And I'm like, lady, I am not and she goes, yeah, you're famous. You're like you're on the commercial break. I know who you are You're like you're like a famous podcaster and I'm like lady. I am not a famous fucking podcaster. It's exciting It's exciting, but it's I I think I had a reaction. It's surreal. It is surreal. It's like you're in the metaverse I'm totally in the metaverse. Emma is this a real reality? Yeah, I'm on a hologram Now board Now boarding famous people now boarding famous people I had a hard time like under like I had a hard time wrapping my head around
Starting point is 00:18:35 What she was saying, you know, you know, I didn't get it. I would what all else was she saying other than your famous Well, once she said it was famous. I became like a little bit standoff. I was like no like no no I'm not I'm a famous in my own picture. Don't take my picture. Yeah don't take my picture. No video. Did you sign the release when you walked in the door? Brian Green is coming. I know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. Anyways, can you sign this release? A gentin everybody attention everybody thanks for showing up to the podcast meetup. We will be having brine green from the the
Starting point is 00:19:07 we need an ambulance and ambulance please uh... we will be having brine green will be walking into the pizza place any moment now uh... so everybody could please take a step back we're gonna have security here draw a line no pictures don't look at me i uh... don't even look at them just don't look at them he has a glow they could burn your eyes like sour patch kids only give him those only sour past the
Starting point is 00:19:30 don't be brought in anything but so are that he's on the key to die it that the pizza anywhere near i just did know it to save within she i said how do you why do you think that that the way i said why do you why would you think that and she's like oh because you know everybody knows the commercial break it's a famous podcast now i think i have a feeling that she was preempted by somebody like somebody
Starting point is 00:19:51 made a big deal uh... here comes like the guy that i kind of knew was like very good that's a big he's walking in the building right now this dick is ten million downloads big that's the dick of a 10 million download guy. He's bogging it right now. He's walking in right now.
Starting point is 00:20:11 Here he is. Who is he? He's Brian Green from the commercial ring. He's famous. Yeah, what the fuck is that? Well, don't you know the commercial break? They're like one of the best comedy podcasts in the world. Yeah, I think it's that kind of thing, right?
Starting point is 00:20:20 And the lady was like, oh, then he must be famous. But I'm far from famous. No, no, no. We've talked about famous. Yeah. Maybe you're famous when someone identifies you as famous. Maybe that's when it happens. I think we do that security now. Well, thank you to all the down there. Yeah. We appreciate all the downloads. 10 million strong. Let's do another 30. So they, you know, for every 10 million downloads, Chrissy and I get $10. So if you could go ahead and download faster, we'd appreciate it. It's like Spotify, like if you're too sensitive.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Yeah, that's actually, this is too sensitive. That's right, Chrissy. It's actually who's paying. So I thought I put together a little Ask TCB because we had a number of questions and stuff that came through and I thought, well, let's do it. Why not? Let's put it together.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Let's do it. Hey everybody, in the podcast universe, it's time for a commercial break inside this commercial break. Chrissy and I want to thank everybody, all the loyal listeners who have been writing in at 855-TCB-8383 and tcbpodcast.com. Questions, comments, concerns or content ideas were taking it all at 855-TCB-8383 or tcbpodcast.com and hit the contact us button. At the commercial break on Instagram and do us a favor, go check out the brand new YouTube
Starting point is 00:21:31 channel, youtube.com slash the commercial break or go to the search box and type in the at symbol tcbpodcast and up will flow all of our videos out of YouTube thin air. It's like magic. Speaking of magic, our sponsors are magical because they keep us on the air free and frequently to you. If you're ever in the market for our sponsors, products or services, please do us a favor and use the specialized URL's and codes if we give them inside of the advertisement. Speaking of those wonderful sponsors, let's take just a few minutes to hear from them, and then we'll be back to this episode of
Starting point is 00:22:04 the commercial break. just a few minutes to hear from them, and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. Hey, everybody. I wanted to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by our good friends at Lululemon. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, and whatever you identify yourself with, listen up because Lululemon is not just for yoga pants. The holiday season is here. Halloween is officially over, and we need to start thinking about the gifts we're going to give each other and ourselves. And at Lululemon.com,
Starting point is 00:22:29 they have everybody covered. I just got some license to train jogger pants. And they are the most comfortable, the most cozy, the softest pants I have ever put on. That's no joke. There's a reason why millions of people across this country and the world have fallen in love with Lululemon. And at Lululemon.com, whether you're male or female or identifying some other way, you are going to find your style. And if you think it's all jogging pants and yoga gear, you are completely wrong, just like I was.
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Starting point is 00:23:23 Go on guys, get yourself a pair of Lululemon pants you're gonna love it all right okay so a couple questions from the audience so I was reading the internet reading on it's really be email as I like to do and we got some people asking us for advice hey be in K love the show. I know you're the right people to ask this quote unquote, loaded to question. Wow. I've been single for almost two years.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I'm in my late 20s and I date here and there, but nothing serious. When I was with my ex, we were together for five years. We had sex two or three times a day at first, but only a few times a month. At the end, not unusual. This happens to everybody. Since I've been single, my dick is an overdrive.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Mm-hmm. Bing. Why buy 3000? Exactly. Get your dick an overdrive. Why buy 3000? Yeah. We got five gears.
Starting point is 00:24:20 One, two, three, four, an overdrive. I am whacking the doodle about six, whacking the doodle, dude. Come on, that's a hort. Whacking the doodle about six to eight times a day. No lie. I do it in the AM and twice before bed. I do it in the office bathroom. It's a single toilet bathroom and yes, I clean up. I'm not a creep.
Starting point is 00:24:41 I do it whenever I'm alone, bored, buzzed, or at least, or the least bit aroused. I feel like this is an issue. I am addicted. Am I addicted to hand shandies? Should I stop? What's normal? Any advice would be great. I feel like this derailing my life a little bit. Best of you, you make my day a bit better. Todd. Okay. I don't know where to begin with this one. Todd. Find a hobby first. Find a hobby.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Yeah, you gotta find something to do with your hands. I know hands are the devil's playpen. This they say. Take up sculpting, painting, whatever. Gardening. Yeah, massage. I don't know. Anything where you can.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Actually, stay away from the massage. I think you might have to get your problem under control before you start giving people the massages. I don't think it's an issue. Listen, you feel like masturbating five to eight times a day. Do it, dude. Who cares? If it's interrupting your life,
Starting point is 00:25:36 if you don't go out because you have to go whack off, if you're not showering because you have to whack off, if you're not paying bills because you have to whack off. If it's interrupting any of the normal activities, you might have a problem. I would suspect, and I don't know this for sure. Stop taking Y Brian 3000. Y Brian 3000 will keep your dick hard 24 hours a day. Stop.
Starting point is 00:25:58 You'll have to whack off six to eight times a day. Just to keep from going to the hospital. Y Brian 3000. Y Brian 3000? Ha ha ha ha. Uh... Why Brian 3000? Oh, no! You'll be like a bull. Fucking you're really good-sung. Why Brian 3000?
Starting point is 00:26:12 You're not taking 4,000, if you're under the age of 55 years old. You're not taking 5,000, if you have a problem with masturbation. You're not taking 5,000, if you have any of the following conditions. And a card, a car, a car, a car,
Starting point is 00:26:23 a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car, a car firm. That's all I'm saying. There's no need for any things I've been for all of the FDA. If you have an issue, getting normal things done because of all the whacking, then you have an issue. But if you're just interspersing in amongst your life, you know, you got 10 minutes here. Who cares?
Starting point is 00:26:41 You're in your 20s, dude. This is the time to whack off six to eight times a day. I'm telling you right now, when you get kids and you get married, if you ever do that, or you're in a long-term relationship, or you got a job that is demanding and stressful, as you move along in life, and things start to pile up, responsibilities
Starting point is 00:26:56 and the stresses of life, you're gonna find that you're gonna wanna whack a lot less. It's just gonna be one of those things. It's just the nature of things. So I say, while you're feeling good about yourself and you're feeling yourself, literally, I say, don't worry about it. Who cares? If it's not interrupting your life, then. But here's what I suspect. I suspect Todd might be one of these younger folks who has gotten so addicted to watching porn online that he feels a compulsion to watch it and to whack off.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Now that I think is an issue because that does not present. Listen, there's lots of porn movies where the guys flipping and throwing the girl around, and he's like a huge hot body, and he's sticking her up on the dick, and he's walking around the room, and he's got her upside down, and he's throwing one leg across her shoulder.
Starting point is 00:27:43 That kind of stuff, it doesn't really happen. At least not in my sex life. We like to keep it pretty tame. I like to say that, Astrid, let's just do it vanilla tonight. And maybe we'll get into some freaky stuff later. I've been saying that for five years. And that's Brian. That's, oh, and then Chrissy has been wearing tape bikinis
Starting point is 00:28:02 around the house. Her and Jizzy Jazz Jeff have a sex swing hanging from the ceiling. What's wrong with her? Well, I mean, the unfortunate part is that Chrissy gets in the sex swing and then as soon as stuff gets started, she has to go turn the song off to another one. Now I've got to remote that thing. Oh, you do? Okay. Skip it. Skip.
Starting point is 00:28:25 You would have sex with like pressing, skip, skip, skip. Now this one's the best. Now this one's the best. You'll like this song. I'm kidding. We're both adventurous and we're sex positive. And so you know what? Do whatever you, but don't rely on the porn movies
Starting point is 00:28:43 to give you all of your titillation. Well, I mean, if there's not porn movies going on, sometimes you just might be kind of a little bit of an obsession where you just, you know, you get a little bit obsessed with it. So again, find a hobby. Find a hobby. It's like when Brian eats cream and cereal for months on end, right? I just, it just becomes a part of my daily routine.
Starting point is 00:29:02 It's just something. I don't even know why I'm doing it. I'm gonna start to think about it. Like, like, it's funny to do it. You know, the funny thing even know why I'm doing it. They just start to think about it, and it's like, it's funny to do it. You know, the funny thing is, is I stopped eating the cream in cereal about four, five, six weeks ago, to go on a little bit of a diet,
Starting point is 00:29:12 since we haven't, you gotta get another website, and yet more pictures done, and my wife's like, okay, I don't wanna hear any complaining about how you look, but they're getting shaped. Reality is, it just kind of becomes, like, it's a habit, you're addicted to it, right? It's a habit. It's a thing that you do. It's part of your day. I would advise
Starting point is 00:29:29 you to just ask yourself the question, is this a problem? Do I? Is it interfering? Is it interfering with any relationships? Is it interfering with your ability to go out there and date? Like would you rather just sit home and whack it, then actually find a real person to help you whack it, then I think it's a problem. Otherwise my friend Todd whack away buddy. My friend's a-sarred! And I don't think it's an issue.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Okay, thank you. All right, hey guys, my name is Christie. I'm 31 years old. I have a husband, two dogs, a cockatoo, four fighting fish and a lizard. It is a fucking zoo in our apartment. Yes, it is, you have already, wait, use the way you said in an apartment,
Starting point is 00:30:11 you have all these things in an apartment. Well wait, let's go back to what it is. Cockatoo, I heard the two dogs. Two dogs. A cockatoo. Cockatoo. Four fighting fish and a lizard. Well, the fish are in a tank. Yeah, but still don't you think like two dogs
Starting point is 00:30:22 and a cockatoo is a dog. And a lizard is in a tank too, I think. Yeah. We hope it doesn't like a tank. Yeah, but still don't you think like two dogs and a carcassoon is a dog? And a lizard is in a tank too, I think. Yeah. We hope that's in a tank. Yeah. I knew a guy once had that lizard walking around the house. He was like, I didn't know what a lizard is.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I slept in a house one time where they had like a lizard, like a big fucking lizard, right? One of those big, big, commune ants. And the thing just walked around the house. Yeah. And so I had to spend the night on the floor. It was like a drunken night, right? And I had to spend the night on the floor It was like a drunken night, right? And I just spend the night on the floor and I woke up and that fucking lizard was laying next to my leg because it was looking for body heat Oh, yeah, I almost killed it because I kicked my leg and the thing went you know Boom, it went across the room. The guy was mad at me. I'm like dude. You shouldn't have your lizard fucking walking around everywhere
Starting point is 00:31:02 Okay, my husband recently had a friend who found a litter of kittens. No. He wants to bring two of the cats home, but I'm totally against it. We don't need another animal in this 900-foot, fifth-story rented place. I need some advice.
Starting point is 00:31:18 How do I stop this from happening? Can you talk to him? He's a huge fan. I actually started listening because he turned you on in the car. He has no idea I'm contacting you. His name is Dave. Please tell him this is a really dumb f**king thing to him. He's a huge fan. I actually started listening because he turned you on in the car. He has no idea I'm contacting you. His name is Dave. Please tell him this is a really dumb fuck thing to do. Best of you love the show. Okay. Dave, it's a real dumb fuck thing to do. Dude, you can't put another animal in that 900 foot square foot apartment. It's
Starting point is 00:31:37 just, I realize there are people who do it, but you're like, I think after the 12th pet, you start running the risk of becoming like crazy pet person. And you know, it's hard for me, because I grew up, my mom was a huge animal over, we had fish, cats, dogs, that it was a rotating cast of animals. Yeah, I remember I don't know when you were a pop-up house
Starting point is 00:31:55 when your mom was over there, and it was like 52 animals running around the house. Yeah, and she just was a huge animal lover. So I'm used to it, and I get where it comes from. Okay. I know that like, oh, you really like that, and you wanna have it, but maybe think about moving to a bigger space.
Starting point is 00:32:09 Yeah, yeah. That's what I say. I imagine you're living in a big city, if you're on the fifth floor somewhere, right? And a 900 square feet. Why does that have to be a big city? Well, I mean, do you really see a lot of small cities with six stories?
Starting point is 00:32:22 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's like, Chrissy, let me tell you how it goes. If you're a small city, you can only have buildings a lot of small cities with six stories. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,'s the name of the commercial break, right? Okay, I'm just imagining it to be a big city. I don't know that it is. I'm imagining it to be a big city. Okay, so you're in the big city, you're 900 square feet, you really. Get a farm. Yeah, get a farm, dude.
Starting point is 00:32:55 If you want to pursue this venture of having as many animals as possible, living with you in your space and you love them, get a place that's appropriately positioned to handle it. Yeah, maybe further out. Follow Frankie B and go as far as you can to put your salon sweet. Right, the mill, no.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Yeah, go get a farm. This is a dumb fuck thing to do. And I'll tell you why it's a dumb fuck thing to do for sure without any doubt. Unquestionably, your wife doesn't want you to do it. That's why it's a dumb fuck idea. Don't do it. Your poor girl, Christy here,
Starting point is 00:33:29 just wants to have some sanity sometimes. Not she's not saying she doesn't love the animals that are already there. She's saying, please don't include anymore because I need space and I don't want more animals in this 900-foot apartment. So either do one or two things. Get space or get your wife to
Starting point is 00:33:45 agree on its own merits. But right now she wants nothing to do with it. So Dave and you know who you are, do not do this. Happy wife, happy life, it absolutely is true. Oh, it's very true. And don't go fucking with the equilibrium of the universe by doing what your wife doesn't want you to do. So how do you think I ended up in this studio? Is my wife told me to get away from her? And now I have to spend all my time with her. This day of commercial break. Okay, last one here.
Starting point is 00:34:15 We got one more here. Okay. Hey Brian, I love the capital. Your show the other day when you spoke about finding the man attractive. I see so many beefed up trouser toddlers run from their feelings and not touch with their true emotions. We think you're one of the good guys.
Starting point is 00:34:34 As a lifelong card carrying gay man, I can tell you this, nothing is more sexy than a man who is emotionally available. And there is no one more emotionally available than Brian Green, I'm gonna tell you that right now. That's very true. It's the 35 years of therapy. Well, maybe a man with a perfectly curved thick seven-inch penis, but that's not the point getting a little spicy on me, though, my friend. My guy and I listened to that episode and we laughed so hard. We know that feeling when a good man, when a good-looking man holds the door open for you. It gives you a sassy sizzle in the pizzle. I like it. Good reference.
Starting point is 00:35:06 And who doesn't like to admire good looking people? Anyway, need a little help. Since you're a grown-ask man, I want to ask you. This is coming right to me. I understand. Okay. Who says he's a grown-ask man? He's. Who says brightening? I am far from a grown-ask man.
Starting point is 00:35:22 But thank you for the compliment. I'm also famous in case you didn't hear. Yeah, one lady at the Mellow Mushroom in East Cal, thinks I'm famous, because she heard someone else say that. I'm famous at the Mellow Mushroom in the Cal County. It was a nice compliment, but no one should believe it. We have a neighbor who's 6,000 years old. During the pandemic, we looked out for, we brought food, supplies, and COVID tests.
Starting point is 00:35:50 We made sure she was alive during the lockdown. And we even did some light cleaning in her house. Her son, who lives far away, would call and ask us to check in on her. He would also send a little money to cover the groceries and some other things. Nothing big, just a few dollars, to make sure that everything was fair and square. The other day, our neighbor came over to thank us for helping her through COVID. She explained that her son had not helped one bit, and she was very upset with him
Starting point is 00:36:12 for not coming to check on her. She told us that she was reducing his inheritance and putting us in the will. Listen, it's not unusual for a rich widow to leave a game in things in the will. How do you's not unusual for a rich widow to leave a game and things in the will. How do you think half of these old queens got the brown stones down? That's true. That's awesome. Working spare me the drama. Anyway, my husband and I really don't want to take the money. We want her son to have it. He's a nice man and he did call
Starting point is 00:36:42 often to check in on her. Maybe just not as much as she had liked. He had a life of his own and we think she's being a bit hysterical as she has been prone to do. What would you all do? Best of you, too, by the way, Chrissy, you're a stag-hag for sure. The boys love you. We used to use another word, but it's not in vote anymore. I got it. I got what you said. Love Kyle and Rodan. Oh, love you, Kyle and Rodan. I think you should write words. Very kind, very kind words. I think you should do this.
Starting point is 00:37:12 I think you should go over to that old lady. You should explain to her that the reason why you've been taking such good care of her is you've been listening to a podcast called The Commercial Break. And while you'd love to take the money, the truth is, the commercial break needs it a lot more. And it will take her brownstone also, if that's if she's a girl.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Put us in the will. Put us in the will. Yes. It's not Kyle and Rodan, it's Brian and Chrissy who did all the good work. They were just filtering all that right up to you. I can appreciate that you don't want to get in the middle of this. No, this is very awkward. Very awkward.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Very awkward. Very awkward. At the same time again, maybe she doesn't understand how much the sun was carrying and checking in because she was carrying and checking in or because he was carrying and checking in with Kyle and Rodan. Yes. Rodan? Rodan.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Yeah, Rodan. And so she doesn't know. No, maybe talk to her. Now if she doesn't quite get it, take the money. Take the money and give it back to the sun. That's right. She's gonna be dead anyway. What do you fucking care? I mean, listen, if she's 6,000 you're happy. Make her happy. You take a cut. You take a small cut of it. Yeah, you know, take a, take a brokerage fee. My mom says the same thing. Hi,
Starting point is 00:38:27 man. Hi, mom. Hi, baby. It's your mom. Hi, mom. How are you? I'm good. I'm just really lonely. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Your brothers never call me anymore. Okay. You know how they're doing? I feel no mom. I don't. Oh, how's Danny? I just told you I don't know how Danny is. Don't stop asking me. Okay. Well, if you think I can come over for a visit, I never get to see you anymore. Mom, you come over once a week. Oh, do I? know? Well, it feels like it's a long time. It feels like months. I want to see your grandkids. Old people are prone to hystericals. They really are. No, I just had this conversation with my dad. Okay. And my sister. So Papa Joe, who's 90, is called me in hysterics the other day and he said,
Starting point is 00:39:12 have you heard from Kelly? I haven't heard from her. She's not called me in three or four days. Oh, jeez. And I had just had the conversation with Kelly the night before we found a zoom cooking thing, which was a love everything from the pandemic But we love doing it anyway. That's a gap. They just got to pick half a song and they went back and force the other We cooked with Drake wine. That's cool. We talked and so I was confused Papa Joe what do you mean I said no, I talked to Kelly last night. I guess she might be a little hungover today I don't know we have wine last night. He goes
Starting point is 00:39:45 That happens done it Yeah, okay, and so he was like I'm glad that she's okay. Okay, okay, great I thought to tell you later. She's like I just spoke to him yesterday. Oh my god. See that's what happened My dad my dad said the same thing with his mother who's 90 who said I know whenever comes to see me No, I never ever talked to anybody. He's like, mom, so we talked to the sisters. It's like, I was just there yesterday. Yeah. And, you know, like, I understand.
Starting point is 00:40:11 It just happens. In certain cultures, like, at, Astrid is Venezuelans, no secret, right? Yeah. She's Venezuelan. And the Venezuelan culture, your older folks, they don't go somewhere. They come back home.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Asian, Asian cultures are very much. But it's, we ever call a culture, except Every culture except ours. Yeah, we just ship people off I'm Irish and the quicker we can get people out of our fucking houses the better right? Yeah, let me go at 70 You didn't give a shit. Yeah, it's all in everybody in the house Yeah, that's the way it is like you go somewhere. Ashrin. I've had this this conversation so many times We go down to Florida someone wants us to stay at their house. It's rude to go to a hotel room. In my culture, it's rude to think about anything but going to a hotel room.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Now come to my fucking house. Come into my house. That's my space. No, dude, you can come for dinner and please leave quickly. So I don't feel uncomfortable. I don't want you there that long. I put a timer on. I start pacing when people are in my house too long.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Meanwhile. I'm like cleaning the dishes, giving the stink out. The fuck are you still doing here? Dinner's over. What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for it to come out the other end? You can't use my shitter to shit. Don't shit in my house.
Starting point is 00:41:19 Meanwhile, Astrid's family comes for six months. And I'm like, oh, he's shit. But I actually like Astrid's family. I don't mind it. They're amazing. But in my culture and the Irish culture, at least in my Irish American culture here, we never did that.
Starting point is 00:41:33 We barely spent the night over at my grandma and grandpa's house. We talked about that. That's crazy. It's nuts. It's nuts. So you stayed at my grandparents' house. You do stay at family, you know? No, we did, we did stay.
Starting point is 00:41:44 I'm not saying we never stayed. We did stay, but like, often times. It was our half a night, like half song night. That's a half song night, that's right. It was a Christmas Eve, right, until four in the morning and then we all drove back home. Because my dad was uncomfortable with her, so I'm shit, you know,
Starting point is 00:41:57 you didn't want to be with my mom's mom or something, I don't even know what the fuck the fuck the fuck. Well, I don't know, like, in laws, so there's... And we never, we drove half a, across half a fucking country to see my uncle in Phoenix, Arizona, in the middle of the summer. And we got there, the guy lived in Sun City West. You know Sun City?
Starting point is 00:42:15 Yeah, yeah. He's got his own grocery stores, it's got his own brand. We talked about that, like a couple of years ago. Hey, well, we go, my dad hasn't seen this, it's his uncle. He hasn't seen this guy in a decade. And where he's meeting the kids for the first time
Starting point is 00:42:25 And my uncle's out there in a sweater and fucking jacket and it's 112 degrees outside The grill is on but it's not even on fire like you're literally cooking burgers with no fire and my uncle's out there Flip great uncle's out there flipping burgers It's a dry heat We always say that it's a dry heat it's a dry heat i'll be going to get a good job i don't care how dry it is it's too hot at hundred twelve and so we're there in this guy's got a uh... uh... uh... uh... uh... a seventy two bedroom house i don't know if it's a guy to million bedrooms in it
Starting point is 00:42:53 and we i think about this now i think about how strained this was we never stayed with the guys a first-time he's ever met the key we didn't stay with the guy my dad insisted on going to a hotel room and that's how i was taught so so the cultures are different. And when people get older, I think that, especially in the United States of America, because of the way that we treat our parents,
Starting point is 00:43:11 we let them on their own and do their own thing and then we shove them off into a facility, I think sometimes they're prone to historians. They get scared and nervous that they're being cut out. That's why Kyle and Rote and we're checking all the way. That's why they were checking. They were known. They knew the they were checking. They were knowing. Very sweet.
Starting point is 00:43:25 They knew the lady was old. They had to make sure that she was okay. And they did the best that they could. And the sun was prodding them along the entire time. And even though they told her this, she still is cutting him out of the well. So here's what you do. You call the sun and you say, listen,
Starting point is 00:43:41 you want your inheritance, you better get on a plane, you better get up here. Yeah. Right, let's all have a chitter chatter and we'll explain to your mom that you did in fact call and you were in fact concerned and you checked in frequently. You just checked in with them because they were the ones doing the work, right? And then you say, uh, mom, please don't cut me out of the end And then you say mom, this is all possible because of a small podcast called the commercial brand.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Turn her on to us. Turn her on to us. And I'll say whatever your name is, we'll call her, Nana. Yeah, Nana, Nana, I know your son was kind of a shithead during COVID. Wait, everybody was in lockdown. Chris and I were here the whole time waiting for you. And now that you're here, we'll never let you go. As a is a matter of fact we're gonna check on you three times a week the commercial break is now gonna open like this Welcome to the commercial break on Brian. This is Chrissy
Starting point is 00:44:33 Best of you Chrissy. Best of you Brian best of you Nana Hope you're doing great Groceries are on the way Extra depends and why price 3000? For you and that lovely man you've been dating. That Gardner. That Gardner. We'll see you soon Nana.
Starting point is 00:44:54 And that's how I'm going to open the show from now on. So Nana, welcome aboard. It's not for everyone but it's for Nana. It's not for everyone. It's just for Nana. Because Nana's rich. She's got a lovely home in Manhattan. And we need a new place to live. We're getting sick and tired of this studio. We want to live in downtown Manhattan with you.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Next, we want to live next to Colin Rodan. It's the perfect one. It's just for Nana. It's just for Nana. Nana that we don't know. And Colin Rodan, they're really nice guys, but they don't need the money really they're doing fine on their own Look they live next door to you. They got a brownstone too They already have a rich white lady that's giving the money we need one now
Starting point is 00:45:42 Did you hear me talk about how attracted I am the other men? I'm not threatening What did you need to watch? Did you hear me talk about how attracted I am to other men? Ha ha ha. I'm not threatening. In the good gay kind of way. So come on, Nana. Send that to send that will on over here and Chrissy and I'll make a wish. Oh, one wish right away.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Yeah. No, what do you need? Do you need a notary? I'm a notary. You should become an artery, didn't you? No, my aunt. I was looking for notaries every five minutes. I should become an artery. You should become an artery, didn't you? No, my aunt had. I was looking for notaries every five minutes. I should become a notary. You should become a notary.
Starting point is 00:46:09 I think that's what I'm going to do. But here's the problem. When you become a notary, if you only make five bucks per notary ization, it's not a notary. Well, I'm only going to use it for a notary. For Nana. Look, Nana, I can notorize it. Sign that deed over over the commercial.
Starting point is 00:46:26 I don't use it to make money. Yeah, not that kind of money. I'm going to use it to make real money. Real money. That's right. Curse he's going to go around notarizing everybody's will after teniold Nana's out there that are feeling all that changing his will right now. I can not arise without.
Starting point is 00:46:44 I can't see. I'm on my way. Uh, Jenny old Nana's out there that aren't doing so hot and your sons and daughters just aren't paying attention to you. Chrissy and I got you covered three times a week. This show is now called the very quiet commercial break. Hi Nana. So good to see you again. Hi Nana. you hear, did you, were you watching Fox News last night? Did you hear what that Tucker had to say? So interesting, wasn't it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:10 Can't go outside anymore, everyone's killing everyone else. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right, Dan. Yeah, stay inside. Don't worry about the newspaper, Nana. We'll send it to you.
Starting point is 00:47:20 Well, so Kyle and Rodan, get that son over here. Tell him, you know, you got to have a powwow and it is not. And if not, that doesn't work. Just give it, give him the money. Yeah. Take a fee. I think there's a, there's a, there's a brokerage fee on that. Absolutely. You name it. Can't stop you from doing whatever you want to do with the money. If it makes her happy to give it to you to, to Kyle and Rodan. Yeah. Then don't, don't deny it. I know. I only got to say, I hope there's a Kyle and Rodan, then don't deny it. I know. I only got to say, I hope there's a Kyle and Rodan
Starting point is 00:47:49 with my mom somewhere. I was like, even though we see her once a week, it doesn't fill up her cup. She needs more and more and more. And the truth is, I don't have any more fucking time on my hands doing this stupid show and the 15 children I have and the two dog,
Starting point is 00:48:02 well, not one dog. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah, there's a couple of kittens you could get. I have in the two dogs. Well, not one dog. Oh, man, there's a couple of kittens you could get. Yeah, I know. Last time email Todd, don't be a dumb dumb. Don't go. Don't be a dumb dumb. Don't get those fucking kittens. Todd, stop. I love kittens. Yeah. Send Chrissy the kittens. Take your hands off yourself for a few minutes. So you can listen to the end of the show and then get back to the wacky.
Starting point is 00:48:27 And Nana, we're here for you, every three days a week. We're going to visit you way more than you. Todd, stop whacking. Todd, stop whacking. Todd, to the office, please, Todd, to the office. Please put your penis down. Todd, stop whacking. Todd, stop whacking.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Todd, stop whacking. Anytime you need a little encouragement, you can just cut this little part out and make it like a little sound bite. Todd stop whacking. Todd stop whacking. Anytime you need a little encouragement, you can just cut this little part out and make it like a little sound bite. You play to yourself. It should be your ring tone. You're a alarm ring tone. It's set your alarm for every hour.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Todd stop whacking. Todd stop whacking. Todd stop whacking. You're going to run out of juice there, buddy. Run out of the bag! All right, tcbpodcast.com is where you go. That's where you find out more about Chrissy and I, all the audio, all the video right there, one location.
Starting point is 00:49:09 The old tcbpodcast.com waiting for the new one to come up in early 2023. It's gonna be great. I promise you. That's why I'm on this ridiculous diet. So all my pictures look fantastic. I haven't had a carbon weeks. It's driving me crazy crazy driving me crazy Hey hard. Yeah, it is 855 TCB 8383 855 TCB 8383 toll free from anywhere around the world
Starting point is 00:49:33 You can text us or leave us a voicemail. We will respond. I promise ask anybody who's texted that if you've said something Remotely nice. It's usually me who responds. I will loop you into that though Actually, I'll put your number on there so you can respond to. Or go to the website and hit the contact us form. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. We love them. Please send it on over and I will give you credit if I use your idea. Thanks to all those who have been writing in. And yeah, more of you do it. Please subscribe on your favorite podcast platform.
Starting point is 00:50:07 And if you have a moment, could you please review the show, give it five stars, or four stars, or two stars, whatever you think we're worthy of. I'll take any stars. Now we'll take any stars. Yeah. And thank you. But I love reading the reviews.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Now they're awesome. They're really fun. You guys are doing great. Thank you so much. You guys are really funny out there. But I do want to say a heartfelt. Chrissy so much. You guys are really funny out there. But I do want to say a heartfelt, Chrissy and I both want to say a heartfelt thank you. We're very grateful.
Starting point is 00:50:30 10 million downloads later. And we're still going strong. We're here for it. Buckle up for the next 10 million. Cheers. Cheers to you, my friend. Alright, well I guess that's all we should do today. I think so, Brian.
Starting point is 00:50:41 I love you. I love you. And best to you. Best to you. Best to you. Out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Kristiana, we always say a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, a man, man, a man, a man, man a seaI'm a sea you

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