The Commercial Break - Bigfoot or Skinny John Popper?
Episode Date: June 25, 2021Bryan does the right thing and tells the "other" Commercial Break about mixed up reviews, the gang reminisce about 976-party lines and talk about little reanimation happening in the Frozen Tundra. The...n they dig right into the new found reality T.V. fad of chasing Bigfoot. It's a hairy, scary, harmonica loving episode of The Commercial Break! LINKS: Win $500 from TCBtv-(minus) by following Instagram or subscribing on YouTube and leaving a comment on your favorite episode in the month of June. Watch this episode on Youtube TCBTV-minus Sponsor Magic Spoon Cereal Is INCREDIBLE! Try it with promo code TCB EarBuds Podcast Newsletter SquadCast Podcast Remote Audio / Video Recording Hello Fresh: Use Code TCB12 Apostrophe: Dinner Table Dermatology. $15 off your online appointment. Use The Code COMMERCIAL Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel Join The Comedy Podcasts Club on ClubHouse New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 (470) 584.8449 FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: info@tcbpodcast.com A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
And welcome back to WSHIT's Focus on Community Talent.
I am not often at a loss for words, but I am tonight.
As our hometown boys, the Slide L7 come back to make good on a promise they made just a
couple of years ago to this community.
We're going to go out, we're going to get famous, we're going to come back, we're going
to do a show right here live in the Krab Apple community center
Couldn't be more excited to have these boys back home as they drop their very first album saved by an angel
And here they are smacked dab in the middle of a 16 show dry state tour where of course they will be headlining the sunny
Balls youth baseball festival man. We couldn't be more excited
Let's get right to
the action down on the floor crab apple community center presents the slide
else I got a angel that I can't even see
Oh, Lord, I'm crazy
Everybody got an angel
Everybody needs an angel
Where will you go?
Because God has angels and bright set
Where you are sitting over
Somebody lying in the hospital
You have to go in your body
Lying in the hospital, tubes all in your body
That line gets me every time boys
Welcome back to Crab Apple
We'll be back after this
Come our shell break For this commercial break.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Send us a voice mail, standard text messaging rates do apply for those of you on the, you
know, outside of the continental United States.
I can't control how much your provider is gonna charge you to text us.
So, be careful. I don't want to be pissed off moms and dads calling me.
I got $45,000 for the charging!
To Zachemusha break!
We must destroy the TLC building!
This is certain destruction for us!
Did I hear ailing voice? Discovery Muscat!
Yes, it's my alien voice. It's like Mickey Mouse.
We're fucked.
We know from our eye witnesses that the Midnight Whistler's attracted to a harmonic complaint. John?
He's attracted to Blues Traveler.
We know for a fact we saw him at a Blues Traveler.
Over at the strip joint because you know Blues Traveler hasn't done so well.
They have an HD wheel.
Once he got skinny, he just wasn't the same. Poor John
Pover. We don't know if it's the the green-eyed bigfoot or the skinny John
Pover. We're not really sure. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Oh yeah!
It was the commercial beat!
Good afternoon everybody, I'm Brian, This is Chrissy and happy new year.
Best of you Chrissy. Best of you Brian.
The best of you out there in the listening audience. Thank you for tuning into another episode of the commercial break.
Yes. So this is what I did. I decided that I was going to be a good guy and I emailed to the best of my ability to the email that was given on the information portal.
I emailed the other commercial break.
Okay, I did.
You did.
I was nice of you.
Yeah, I haven't gotten a response yet,
but I basically said, hey man, what the fuck?
I said, hey, I go, listen, I think there's some confusion.
I clearly these reviews are not meant for me.
They're meant for you, or I think they're meant for you.
Yeah.
I kind of put two and two together with like the acronym,
the acronym that they put together. like the acronym, you know,
the acronym that they put together.
The D, D, S, H, H, H.
If case you're just tuning in for the first time,
we had a bunch of reviews come in
and those reviews, while wonderful,
were not for our program.
Clearly, it was like, yeah.
We could tell right away when they said,
we were concise.
Yeah, we were concise.
They always learn.
Never in my life have I ever been concise.
No one has ever accused me of being concise and that they learn something and so clearly
I mean this show is about as absurd as it gets. They're you're not learning a shit on this program
But so I but I didn't know what to do about it someone that I think because you Google
Commercial break and we're the first thing that comes up people are like, okay, let me go leave a review there
Right, but the reality is it's not our show and I feel bad about it
So I I emailed the guy
based on the information I was on the website,
and I said, hey, listen, dude.
Yeah, I understand these reviews are supposed to come to you,
so I'm gonna keep these because they're mine now,
but you might wanna tell your audience,
what am I gonna do?
I got a chance for them.
No, so I said you might wanna tell your audience
exactly where to go to leave you a review.
And so I just want everyone to know,
I did the right thing.
Did Brian, and that was sweet.
Conversely, if you're listening to this,
and you would like to leave a review for our show.
For our show.
Please feel free to do that.
You'll free, and if you really pissed off at us,
let me give you another website, address the go to,
www.thewthercomercialbreak.com.
I just think seriously that we all need to just drop
the commercial break thing and let Chrissy and I have it.
Just yeah.
I don't want you being, I don't want any confusion.
It's just a big mess.
There's a whole mess.
Reviews are important for who I don't know,
but they keep telling me it's important.
www.tcppodcast.com is where you go.
I mean all the show notes.
You can find out more about Chrissy and I.
Watch all the videos, listen to all the audio, audio,
audio, audio, audio. audio, audio, audio, audio, audio, audio,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
cabcala way, is that right?
Am I right about that?
That's cabcala.
From the Blues Brothers, that's right.
That's right.
In like episode number five, which we wish we could throw
in the trash, we'll talk about that in a different episode.
But go to www.tcbpodcast.com, all the audio and video
are there for your liking.
Just go ahead and watch it all, listen to it all from there.
Or your favorite podcast provider, 470-5848-449.
Leave us a text message.
Send us a voice mail, standard text messaging rates.
Do apply for those of you on the outside
of the continental United States.
I can't control how much your provider's going to charge.
You can text us.
So be careful. I don't want any much your provider is going to charge you to text us. So be careful.
I don't want any pissed off moms and dads calling me. I got $45,000 on the charges to Zakh
commercial break. That's like those old 900 numbers. Those parents used to get the bills for.
I one time racked up a bill that was like $380. Were you calling a psychic or a sex line?
I was calling a party line
is what I was calling a party line.
What a dog.
I wasn't stupid enough to call the sex line
because I was afraid it was gonna show up
on the AT&T bill, huge tits.976 huge tits.
But I felt like the sexualized nature of the party line.
Commercial. Yeah, it was.
I was going to find something there that I would.
Yeah, and this is what I heard.
Ready?
So, I was like 35 people talking over each other.
Some of them not even in the same language.
It was literally this insanity that was going on,
but I was trying to like pick up on a conversation.
And here's the thing, at one point I did pick up
on a conversation with what I in my mind thought was,
you know, some six foot tall, you know, blonde
with double C boobs, you know, I'm 16 years old here,
like, you're 15 years old. Ah, playboy model.
Yeah, right, but you can't talk to them,
because you talk to them
and there's 16 different conversations going on
at the same time.
It was the worst, and these companies made so much
fucking money back in the day.
Oh, well, there was the psychics.
Psychics, the sex lines, you could call.
I use a Dion Warwick.
Dion Warwick, and then you had,
who missed,
Miss Cleo. Miss Cle missed, Miss Cleo.
Miss Cleo.
Miss Cleo.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah, Miss Cleo, who also went to jail for that exact same thing.
She went to jail because I think she was like raising money for the company on the side
or something,
Yeah.
Securitizing bullshit.
Whatever.
Listen, okay, so I can't control how much you're, you're, you're going to get charged for
those text messages.
So be mindful.
The probably the easier way to do it
is infoattcbpodcast.com.
You can email us, listen, we have been getting people
that have been sending us show ideas.
They've been-
I love this.
Best to use, I just love it, so keep it coming.
And, you know, I gotta say a big thanks to William,
to Sarah, to Daniel, all three of my new good friends
here on the commercial break who are sending
and content ideas all the time. And I love it and we'll use them so keep them coming.
If you would like your chance to win $500 in gold dot gift cards on July 7th, this is
what you need to do.
You go to Instagram at the commercial break at the commercial break.
Look for the $500 giveaway post.
Send us a, you know, a line from your favorite episode or, you know, say something about
your favorite episode. Tag a friend. Make sure you're following us, you're entered into
win. Alternatively, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break and find your favorite
episode, leave a comment, you're entered into win. We've probably got, I don't know, a
couple hundred entries at this point. And so we're really going to have to go through
them when we get back from vacation. Yeah, I'm really excited to.
I'm super excited about this.
So.
I took a peek at some of them on Instagram,
and they look good.
Yeah, they look good.
Yeah, there's a lot of them.
I have a personal favorite already,
but I won't share that,
obviously I'm gonna share that right now,
because I want you to know there's still time
to beat that personal favorite.
I won't even tell you what episode it's about,
or what even the sex of the person who left the comment. But I will tell you there is a
great comment and she also did herself a big favor by tagging a shitload of
people in that post. So, so congratulations to her. It's so far. It feels to me
like the favorite, but we'll get together and make that decision together. Okay,
here. I want to get into it. I'm gonna have my wheel. Yeah.
The wheel. If someone's got a lottery wheel, can you send it? We're looking for a lottery wheel, a sex doll,
and a t-shirt company.
Those three things, if you own a lottery wheel,
a sex doll that you'd like to get rid of,
please send it to us clean and sterilized,
or you own a t-shirt company,
like promotional t-shirt company,
or all three in this pack.
I have a feeling like Williams gonna call us on this one.
You're gonna say, I own all three.
I got you covered.
I know.
I know.
Please get in contact with us info at tcbpodcast.com because we would like that for future shows.
And now it's time for the commercial break.
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Okay, so I want wanna get right into it today
because I found, I was going through the internet
like I do.
You know, that's what I do basically,
is I simply, basically what I do is I edit this podcast
and spend lots of time on the internet
because you know, when you're rendering videos
and all this takes time, so I end up just,
you know, putsing around the internet
and finding stupid shit.
I have found that an amazing story
about how researchers, the permafrost in the Arctic Circle
is degrading at such a level
that they are finding like full woolly mammoths,
like saber tooth tigers,
but they're finding them now in decomposing states
because they were frozen and perfectly preserved,
and now they're getting eaten alive by gnats
and larvae and all this other stuff
because they're not frozen anymore.
So these researchers are up there running around,
trying to collect as much information
as they possibly can about these prehistoric creatures
in an effort to save some of our history.
Yes, that's exciting.
What they found, a couple of months ago was amazing,
and I wanna tell you about it.
They found a prehistoric, millions and millions of years old, like a precursor to humanity,
a precursor to animals, kind of microbe out there, right, and a bacteria that was frozen
in the tundra.
And when it was thawed, it came back to life.
It is a prehistoric antibody that came to life.
It's unbelievable.
Now, first of all, it's fucking scary as shit,
because there could be some like alien-type
microbiotic shit out there that we just,
our bodies have never experienced,
and it could wipe us all out in six months, right? Yeah, yeah
So but the other thing that's exciting or it could go really well
Or could go really well, and it could save the earth from destruction certain destruction
We could find there's a little alien man there I'm freezing me. I delivered you. Hahaha. Purple of course. I delivered you, Billions.
Mr. Pisa.
I'm now here to serve you from certain destruction.
First and foremost, we must destroy the TLC building.
The what?
We must destroy the TLC building.
This is certain destruction for us.
Is that your alien voice?
Discovery Moscow. TLC building. This is certain destruction for us. Is that your alien voice?
Discovery Muscat.
Yes, that's my alien voice.
Sounds like Mickey Mouse.
We're fucked.
It's really interesting, but it's also really scary, right?
It's like, wow, that's crazy.
There's a thing that hasn't existed on Earth
in 10 million years.
Life.
That all of a sudden is alive and well
and breeding up there in the tundra.
Wow.
So it's kind of like coming in,
when the guys went to the moon
and they had to come back home
and be deloused for 15 days
because they were afraid they might pick up a bacteria
that would come to Earth and destroy everybody
because we weren't used to it.
It's now happening for real, but with bacteria that's
but on Earth.
And so it got me thinking there's a lot of like,
there could be a lot of potentially scary creatures out there.
Like, you know, the Yeti or the, you know,
North Alaskan Bigfoot or the Firefoot or the Whisper Wolves
or whatever the fuck they're called.
So anyway, so I go trying to find information
about this particular story.
The whisper was, oh, don't even get me.
Started here we go.
You ready?
Yes.
So I go down this rabbit hole trying to find information
about this bacteria called the clavidil
or something.
So I'm like, I have to eat.
Catch it, I'm a massage parlor.
I got the clavidil.
I got the clavidil from Betty at the massage parlor.
But what I found when I started researching this was not anything about the Clavidil.
What I found was a bunch of fucking morons running around,
trying to prove that Bigfoot exists in multiple different
reality shows on TV networks.
I have never heard of.
I was scrolling through a TV the channels one day
and I came across,. Was it on national
gee, not that gee or it was it on Discover America or like destination America? Yeah, discover
something. Yeah. And it had these people that had a picture. But then the guy came out and
said that he really good dressed up as a friend. And he had actually been the one to dress up
to fool the other friend. Okay. So that's the very famous picture of Bigfoot
that everyone has seen.
It's in textbooks, right?
You know, fancy, crazy creatures, right?
But there, you gotta remember that in 2021,
there's a whole shitload of human beings
who actually believe in this shit
because their brains aren't working correctly.
Right.
Because they have shit clanking around in their head.
Right?
They believe anything that anybody says to them. Yes. And there are entire,
there are lots of television shows that are dedicated to finding big-foot and such type creatures.
I'm kidding. Ready. Yes. Now, there's a couple of things that I've noticed about these
television shows. And I'm focusing in on one. It's called, like, I can't even remember what it's
called, a crazy creatures or something, like, you know, creating creatures or whatever.
There's a couple of things that I've noticed about all these TV shows. They all have the same I can't even remember what it's called. Crazy creatures or something, like, you know, creating creatures, whatever.
There's a couple of things that I've noticed
about all these TV shows.
They all have the same M.O. going on.
It's a couple of, you know, hillbilly types, right?
Good old boys.
And I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
I love my name, it's some good old boys.
Yes.
But they're all good old boys.
They're all running around these incredibly, you know,
dense forests at night with night vision goggles.
And while they clearly see the creature
every single episode, the camera never seems to get up.
Right. The king culture.
Yeah, there's this one show that we're about to listen to.
This guy, the head guy here, he must wait 450 pounds.
He is huge.
He has a hard time walking at like, you know,
even a snail's pace.
He's a big boy.
He's like long-boring around, you know, even a snail's pace. He's a big boy. He's like lumbering around, right?
Every episode that I watched, he sees whatever creature
they're trying to catch, right?
It's like, you know.
Oh, it's different ones.
It's all kind of different ones.
I'm telling you, the Whisper Wolves, the red hot, you know,
fired bigfoot.
A lot of this mom.
Yeah.
And by the way, there's not just one type of bigfoot.
There's millions of bigfoot.
There's the thunder clappers and the, you know,
the rober rumors.
It's not Harry from Harry and the Hunter's.
No, it's not.
They're not that friendly.
They all look scary.
And by the way, destination America
spared no expense at making a 3D animation of Bigfoot
that my son draws make better drawings.
And they're like, oh, we saw the blue and her big foot.
They all look incredibly not scary.
I'm just telling you that.
So here's what happens, ready in the darkness.
Hey, Billy, over here, I think I see a path
where clearly he's going down toward the creek.
You know, they call it a creek.
It's not a creek, it's a creek.
Heading down toward the creek.
Oh, there he is. It's not a crick. It's a crick. Headin' down toward the crick. Oh, there he is!
It's the camera.
Is the camera runny?
Did it show the ground?
The camera's all shaky, yes.
But it's showing the ground the entire way.
Because God forbid the cameraman actually see anything.
God forbid the cameraman be any part of the action
whatsoever.
It always seems to be Billy, the 450 pound man.
But it needs a cart to get around it Kroger
But he manages to run fast as the wind in the in the woods
I'm not making fun of the guy cuz he's big. He's big. There's lots of people are big
I'm saying you get the premise here, right? Yes
Is that the cameraman is probably some twink carrying around you know 450 pounds where the camera gear
Yeah, and he can't manage to point his camera in the right direction
at any time during any episode in 26 fucking seasons.
It's unbelievable.
So I went down a total rabbit hole with this show
in every show on more unbelievable than the next,
and I'm not talking like the best kind of unbelievable.
I'm talking about holy shit.
Like these are paid actors clearly, right?
Okay, we wanna get started on this? Let's get started on this.
Where do we start as the question?
Let me pull them up on the Beep Boopop machine here.
Beep boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop.
Unfortunately, I can't play that noise
and look for the Beep Boopop at the same time,
so I'm limited.
My technology's limited.
We'll have to, let's amend our contract
and we'll get that one.
We're gonna, we just had a three hour business meeting.
That's a surprise, we're still awake.
Okay, I want to get into it here.
Here we're going to meet some of the principles of this particular show.
I think it's called the catching creatures or something like that, right?
Listen, this is on destination America.
No one is watching this television show.
Well, actually there are probably lots of people watching this television show, but it's
not subs.
I bet the podcast has more listeners than this does watchers, right?
Is that a channel?
You destination America is its own channel.
Basically, they talk about RVs, fishing, and Bigfoot.
Those are the three things they're into.
And I think occasionally they rerun Beverly Hillbillies or something like that.
It's a station you would never know about.
Any for any of the reason whatsoever.
But it's on my show.
It's on my TV, I've seen it.
Okay, so here we're gonna meet Ken
and Ken's gonna introduce us to some of the fellers.
Okay. prove the big foot exists in the Appalachia. He's marking it as it like, it's the night.
Tonight.
It's the record tree.
Yeah, it's the record tree.
It's the morning.
Let us, let us click, sorry about that.
Let us click on Brian's phone and turn it to silent.
I'm keeping that in because that was funny. Right here on the 29th night,
on the 37th night of June, 2020.
I hear by D. Mark this as the night we find Bigfoot.
Okay.
By the way, every episode they find Bigfoot.
So, you know, I don't know why he's saying.
That's good to know.
Yeah, it's good to, if you watch the show,
it's not going to disappoint. You're going to find Bookfoot, you won't see Bigfoot, but they'll findfoot. So, you know, I don't know why he's saying. That's good to know. Yeah, it's good to, if you watch a show, it's not gonna disappoint.
You're gonna find,
you won't see Bigfoot,
but they'll find him.
Okay, if he just slips away.
By the way,
if you think if you saw fucking Bigfoot,
14 out of 22 shows
that you would be the most famous
rich person in history,
if you could actually just get your camera
to point the right direction,
I'm gonna get more than one camera.
How about the first time you see him deciding
that you're gonna get multiple cameras?
No, no, don't let that spoil a fun.
We're right up on the ridge line above the cabin
where our first eyewitnesses have heard
this midnight whistler for the last three weeks.
And let me ask you a question.
Have your eyewitnesses been cooking crystal meth out of a mountain
duke?
Where our first eyewitnesses have heard it. Unfortunately our first eyewitnesses are missing all of their teeth and their favorite beverage is crystal meth mountain dew.
They're not here with us any longer.
They're somewhere in the creek.
So we're in the perfect place to start this night investigation.
We don't even have a rookie on the team now.
Bucks been around with us for a long time.
We have men.
I love how these shows, like the producers change the music like, yeah.
Right now and right here, we are about to solve a million year old mystery. Where
is Bigfoot? He's down there near the creek under the cavern up on top of the bridge below
the cabin where the old eyewitnesses saw him. And it's like there's some crazy. And then Do do do do do do and then Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Yeah, he's like, we're gonna see Bigfoot. For the many years of outdoorsmen here.
If I'm not the rookie anymore, what am I?
Well, you'd be bucked private.
Okay, now back to getting serious.
Let's quickly, let's have bucked private.
Okay, now that we got the joke out of the way,
let's go get murdered by some 17 foot tall strong man.
Yeah, the other thing is they have no regard for safety. If they're really gonna go see Bigfoot, they're in overall.
Like, they all have guns, but they're clearly toy guns. They got them from the prop department at Disney.
They got it from the prop department at Disney. And I don't mean Disney, the actual production company.
I mean Disney world.
I think we'll speak up a couple of hair to toy guns
and the pirates of the curve even.
Well, you see on our television show
for destination America got paid $32.67 per episode.
I'm a Hollywood actor.
Let's leave my privateates out of it.
I'll talk about the rules.
Fuck is funny.
He deserves that, he deserves that promotion he's getting from, you know, whatever, rookie
to private.
By the way, there's a team of three.
Like, I did good promoted.
About hunting, about tracking, that I didn't know. He's really came from being a rookie status
up to one of the 14 number.
You guys, we really need to pay attention tonight
because this truly is the only big foot
as full nocturnal.
He can say it's good as tonight,
as we can see at high noon.
Who says who uses the word high noon anymore?
Does high noon mean noon?
Yeah, high noon means three o'clock.
No, it means when the sun is at the top of the peak.
So in the summertime, that's about three o'clock.
It can't be noon during the winter.
You can be noon.
But when it's at its highest peak,
it's right above your head.
They call that high noon.
High five.
High five.
This guy can see, this guy can see
as good as any man in a mass that I bought at the dollars dark and see
It's a big careful
Old Billy and the costume doesn't have great eyesight
But careful you don't be careful camera men. You don't accidentally catch him
Okay, cameraman point the other direction. We're gonna go this way you point that way
You ever look through a night vision scope and broad daylight?
You can.
I said exactly why he can't turn your eyes in the daylight hours.
Absolutely. Yeah.
I think that's a little bit of an exaggeration.
I don't think they'd burn your eyes out.
Hey guys, you ready?
Boy, lock it loose.
Easy guys. As long as there's been man in Central Kentucky, there's been sightings of Bigfoot.
Right here.
Grass is pretty beaten out of the third year.
Right here will be the starting place to prove that Bigfoot is fact, not fiction.
Tonight we're going to be looking for anything out of the normal.
We're also going to be looking for those glowing green eyes.
Those glowing green eyes that I bought on eBay.
Oh, I'm just saying
is there a radioactive plant nearby?
No, you're just,
they're just those glowing the dark eyes about on eBay.
I've posted them up on a tree about 40 yard yonder.
As long as there's been man in South Central's North East Kentucky. As long as there's been cameraman out in these woods tonight.
As long as there has been, as long as there's been craft services table over there to the lab.
We've been looking for bigfoot of yonder and these air hills.
There's actually a Walmart about 300 yards to the left.
I'm gonna go to QT real quick, I'll be back.
That high pitched whistle.
Wee wee wee wee.
Hold up, second back.
Is that a trail right here?
The car.
Looks like we're right up there.
Let's hit that trail. Hit it. Hit it. Hold up, second back. Is that a trail right here? It's a great up there and right out there.
Let's hit that trail.
Hit it.
Hit it.
It doesn't look like it's a trail that he used consistently,
Trapper.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh my god.
Right up in there.
I can't see nothing.
It's too thick in here.
Why don't you get your night fish?
Hey, God God.
It's too thick in here.
Where do they go? I can't see anything with the Kmart parking lot lights in my eyes.
I'm having a hard time seeing.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did I see a sail sign in the colds window over there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Is that that chevron with them good hot dogs?
Hurry up, get that way.
Run that way.
It's too thick.
It's way too thick.
It's just so much trees.
We can only fit seven camera men and some sound guys in here.
It's too thick. I can't get through.
Looks like he doesn't use this path very much.
Let's get in here.
Could someone give me my script?
I forgot what to say after her. Doesn't that look like he uses that much bear?
after her. Doesn't that look like he misses that much fair? Here.
Here.
Look over here, you're going to be a monk that you used to do.
Can you give him a high note on that harmonica?
Okay, so at this point he breaks out a harmonica.
That's a high note.
Yeah, he said high note.
Again, but he's breaking out a harmonica,
trying to call Boogfoot with a harmonica.
Look at a harmonica.
Yes.
Well, it's like a little fig, like a little jig.
Shh, hold these. Hahahaha. Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
There he is!
This big foot!
Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
Shh.
Can you hear him?
Oh, they're in the distance.
It's John Popper, the big foot.
Hahahaha.
Oh, Johnny!
Johnny is a you.
He breaks out of Carmona. The fucking around the show is almost,
it's almost daring you to not believe it.
It's just almost the best set tire I've ever seen in my time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, don't bust out that tune.
Yeah, I mean,'t bust out that that tune
You got it You got to put down the fortnight you get out of your mom's basement if you believe this bullshit
We know from our eye witnesses that the midnight whistler's attracted to a harmonica play
He's attracted to blues traveler
We know for effect. We saw him at a Blues Traveler truck over at the strip joint because you know Blues Traveler hasn't done so well. They
have an HD wheel. Once he got skinny it just wasn't the same. Poor John popper. We don't know if it's the green odd bigfoot or the skinny John popper
We're not really sure
That's a John popper
Oh
Funny thing is a John popper really did get in trouble while back with like guns. I know you
Are
We don't know if it's Bigfoot or if it's blues traveler
practicing for their next album out here in these hills and Kentucky. We heard Bigfoot like
We heard Bigfoot lags meatloaf. No, not the food. The bad end. I brought one.
He's reading back up.
He said answer. We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer.
We didn't answer. We didn't answer. We didn't answer. We didn't answer. We didn't answer. I'm really calm, I'm perfect. Check this out, man, it's like a runway here. A runway, what is he flying now?
Check it out, he got his driver's license.
He got his pilot's license.
This is the gym of his time.
I know, Paul.
He really did run up into it.
Listen, we're only one of seven clips in.
It was.
We're some fresh brook limbs out here in the creek too.
It just looks like I made a path.
The creek, is it?
Let's get down there and take a look at that. We just found a path leading right down to a creek too. It looks like you made a path. The creek. Let's get down there and take a look at that.
We just found a path leading right down to a creek.
Bigfoot's knowing to use these water...
Knowing.
Knowing!
He put an A in knowing.
He's knowing.
All the in Kentucky.
Waterways as travel routes.
We need to investigate.
What on?
Here.
You know what that is right there
then? That's Papa leaves. That's Papa leaves. Papa leaves? Papa leaves?
Yeah. That leaves my Papa. I used it. That leaves my Papa. I used it. You keep John
Pover away from the food. When Mama used to put a big pie out in the good windows sealed a cool off John popper was known to sneak up
There it comes John Bobber get the pop on these
Here John
Here the ghost of a blues traveler I call him a blues traveler
He's been known to travel around these parts, playing harmonica.
He never bought his food.
I'm crying.
Using the trick to travel up and down,
stealing pies from mom-mouse window with pop-all leaves.
Oh, Lord.
That's fresh, break too.
That's fresh.
The pop-alls are very sweet fruit this time of year.
What he's doing, he's carrying this fruit,
he's arms, and he's eating as he goes along.
Of course, they've been going up all day.
That's making a big assumption, because you saw some leaves.
Alright, I'm num num num num num, no, no, no, no, Holy
Holy It's a nest
It's a nest
Whoa, whoa, it's cute
It's the size of a no-no-word
This place is huge, he said this place is huge
He said this place is huge
They come up on this thing, like I mean you can't see it
But it comes up on what looks like a woven together nest, right the size of a human being
It's a nest for all of lose traveler
It's blue travelers new touring man made out of pop-all leaves
made out of pop-all leaves. This is the most ridiculous show I have ever seen in my entire life.
It's just the brass balls on these people.
But listen, people believe this shit.
They believe this shit.
You want to hear more?
I mean, you have to hear more.
Like, how can we just stop right there?
No, that's a suspenseful music too.
Oh my God.
And then one more
next. Hey,
private Ben come over here.
Like the music changes in our if you found a human size net in the middle of
the woods, you would call the sheriff immediately at night with someone playing
You would call the sheriff immediately at night with someone playing
Someone playing harmonica in it
You wouldn't go toward it. You'd call the FBI
You'd say I found the silence of the lambs guy for real in real life. He's there
He's killing people. I'm sure of it. I don't want to go there. I followed the cricketer the nest where I heard the harmonica and the pop-all leaves.
I think John Puffer's killing people in the nest in my backyard.
Excuse me, sir. You haven't watched Destination America.
What is that, sir? It's television station.
Most popular television station here in Central East Kentucky.
Here and here and here in Central East Kentucky. Here in here in here in East West Kentucky.
Okay, here.
Something has been haunting one of the team members for a long time. He needs to get it off his chest.
What happened with the nest?
I don't know.
I mean, it was in the next episode.
I just couldn't really do it.
And then I put to the next episode and this was it.
Okay.
I don't know.
I mean, that's the thing.
Is it never really ends, right? There's always a mystery and then they talk about, I'm gonna do it. I'll okay. And then I put to the next episode and this was it. Okay. I don't know. I mean, that's the thing.
Is that never really ends, right?
There's always a mystery and then they talk about,
we found that nest and handed it over
to our investigation team for more to follow up.
Follow up.
This is like the biggest story that's ever happened.
If you found big puts nest for real,
you would be on the cover of every magazine in the world.
But no, you go, I'm gonna follow,
I'm gonna let my investigations team follow over this.
Send it over to the team.
Send it over to the team.
Now the scientist among us.
What I'm gonna tell you guys is bothering me for 46 years.
It's hard to talk about.
I've got a bad case.
That's good could go anywhere.
I have athletes, footballs, and it's really been bothered for me.
I've been attracted to private bands since he became a pro.
Yeah, I have a feeling that I would not be surprised by anything he said.
No, I'm one of the two people sitting at that table.
I'm like, oh, Lord, here's your contract for destination America.
Don't say it, Billy Bob.
I'm telling you guys because we're friends, we're family.
And lovers occasionally.
We've sweated together, we've bled together.
Yeah.
We sweated together.
I don't think sweated together.
I think sweated is a word, but I sweated it out. It started 46 years ago in 1969. We have a garden
back around top of the hill. We drive out here. We plant some weed. Summer of love. Summer of love.
I was back here playing grateful dead. Smoking gun. when granny came out and she said,
bill above, take down your trousers.
And let me show you what a real man does.
Let me show you what grandma's working with.
It's been bothering me for 46.
Grandma used to be pretty hot.
You remember she was 19 when I was 16.
I don't know if you remember.
Mom was three when I was 16. I don't know if you remember. I, I, I,
Maul was three when she had me.
Couple of times a week,
helped grandpa hoe, pick weed.
Me and my brother, my mom,
and my grandpa was back there.
This time we went back here on the hill of the garden.
We were gonna pick beans.
We picked our mutual bean,
asking for a day to day thing out.
They said, now I go ahead and run around for a while. We both have the tomato. I'll remember that because we're eating
tomatoes.
It was eating tomatoes.
We're just hanging out.
It's weird to say that.
It's weird to say that.
It's weird to say that.
Yeah, summer is 69. I have a grab tomato.
Because you just run through the field eating a meter.
How's your meter? It's pretty good, how's your?
Delicious.
Oh, quick, hit back for the house. Here comes Puffa and Puffa.
Here comes the Puffa and Blue's Traveler.
Here comes Puffa and Blue's Traveler and Bigfoot.
They got that nest. They're coming to get our maiders.
Oh no!
Quick, throw your maiter on the ground. Distract him. Oh no, he's a bonus!
It's okay, don't worry about it. Summer of love!
It was 46 years ago when I got a hand job from Bigfoot.
I was lonely. It was the summer of love. I was
eating a mater and all the sudden Bigster Hook was stroking my little cock.
Thing big. We worked our way out around this old horse trail. You get out there so far,
sort of drops off, had shablins about 10 foot tall.
And my brother saw the rock with a hill.
And it came right back at him.
My brother was rocked over the other,
came right back hit him in the head.
So I buried him right there with his meter.
I said, well, it's probably dead.
He's still breathing, but he won't be flown.
That's what we did back then.
Yeah, it's a mother in a mever sense. Someone got hit hit and head by a rock. He just pretty much called it today.
Well, Billy Joe died of another rock incident.
Don't throw a rock over that hill. That's a six out of the 12 cousins
of a mole side that's dimmed dead from throwing a rock over that hill. Come right back at you.
We call it boomerang rockin.
We call it boomerang rockin'. And all of a sudden, something would take
a knee sapling, like it was really pissed off,
and it would just beat a knee sapling back and forth.
You could see the tops of them just being
fray-laid from one side to the other.
But we're watching this.
All of a sudden, it's a great big, huge hand.
Before I come up out of the tops of them brush and how to hold this one tree right there.
The forearm on this thing was that big round. Wow, awesome. If this thing got a hold of your head,
there is no doubt in my mind. It is, of course, you like a tomato.
Ah!
I don't get it as back in the screen.
I don't get it as back in the tomato.
That's a good segue there.
Great writing.
Give me some of these guys an Emmy.
Let's see, how do I, we call that a callback.
How do it, where's the callback there?
Well, what if I tell them and do it?
You could just push your? I got a tomato
Excellent riding you mean
You've been promoted do I get executive producer credits on this episode? I
Don't know we're gonna ask executive producer Paul
My god, this is coldly this show is the crazy. I've got a see-it. You have it you have to see it simply it's simply one of the best
fake television
It's simply one of the best fake television shows. I have ever seen my entire life
You're gonna
Oh
Pup-pup-pup are coming around the corner quick grown and had under the saplings
Yes, I love all the nomenclature honestly like I'm a big fan of the nomenclature of southern southern men Yes, especially or in some of the southern women too ever since I was married to my ex-wife in her mom
And say let's say some there there's like high brow Southern accents
and then there's low brow Southern accents.
So you got the high brow Southern accent like,
well, we would never do anything like that.
That's just completely inappropriate.
Right.
And then there's like,
may it pop all down in the river?
Master baiting against the saplings.
Someone threw a rock down at us.
So we threw it back up,
came around and joked.
This is about, before he's experienced. So- It's about every 46 years.
So now when I'm down near the wagon tree,
I just throw it back up.
You throw it, I had to made a, I had to made her
over the hill, just forget luck.
Whatever someone throws a made her down,
I throw it right back up.
I say, leave me alone, I'm at the wagon tree.
That's a tree where everyone goes to whack it. You know, when you're near the wagon tree, I say leave me alone about the wackin tree
That's a tree where everyone goes to wackin you know you when you're near the wackin tree you pretty much get left alone
We respect each other privacy around here. I
Made a whole nest around my wackin tree
I like to play our mile like it turns me on
It's the wackin tree.
Oh my God, I feel like we could dedicate all the other episodes of this.
Yes.
It's gonna be a good dedicate
all the other episodes of this.
Okay, this is what we're gonna do.
Because there's lots more.
I got like six more clips here.
I don't even get through two.
Oh, that's gold.
Yeah, that's just gold.
Okay, so what we're gonna do is, let do this let's wrap up this episode a Friday edition of
the commercial break and what we're gonna do is we're gonna come back on Tuesday
we'll give you some more of the creatures yes whatever it's called the creature
feature on destination America this is gold this is really really good you can't
get me better than this.
Oh, God.
And just wait until you have the Whisper Wolves.
But the Whisper Wolves come up.
That's just like, yeah, oh, crazy.
These are different versions of Yeti.
They're different versions of Forrest creatures, right?
The big, quick, Forrest creatures.
What other kind of Forrest creatures are there?
Whisper Wolves, Firewalkers, Thunderfooters.
I know those are pretty scary. Oh, yeah, but creatures are there. Whisper wolves? Uh, fire walkers? Suns are footers.
I know it was in Lunar Moss.
Those are pretty scary.
Oh yeah, but those are real.
Oh, what if it was a giant Lunar Moth?
Well, okay, maybe extra giant Lunar Moth?
All right, now I'm in like this.
I've come from the planet Zee Noo.
Stop playing the harmonica.
It's me from the planet's lunar,
but playing our mannequin, you're first!
Near your wacking tree!
I was deer and deer down there in the wagon, SEP!
Wacken SEP!
Oh my god!
Down there in the wagon, SEP!
Someone do a rocket miss!
Author it right back!
I think I killed Uncle Jimmy!
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Thanks for listening and until next time,
all I gotta say is,
I love you.
I love you best to you.
Best to you, man.
And best to you.
Bye.
Bye.
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Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green,
co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with a digital content provided by Tina Kano. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.
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