The Commercial Break - Blame It On The A-A-A-ALIENS!!

Episode Date: May 6, 2022

An Alabama Corrections Officer had a 2 year relationship with an inmate convicted of murder and attempted murder. After selling her home and resigning from her job she assisted the inmate as he escaped. Now her and the 6 foot 9 inch tall inmate are on the run. Bryan and Krissy bet he will be caught! Short men are taking to breaking their legs to gain 2-3 inches in height...short men everywhere are cheering! Finally, a woman in NJ is claiming to be a surrogate for Aliens. That is the least strange part of the story. Bryan and Krissy review and discuss. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The box was a gift from someone I can't say that I carried cocaine in it. No, you can't say that you carried cocaine in a box? No, but it looks like you would fit some cocaine. On this episode of the commercial break KC white stands six foot nine inches tall and weighs about 260 pounds Six she does put nine no Casey white the guy okay, I thought that was her the sheriff's offer officer has Six nine six foot fucking nine. Yeah, that's basketball level. That's crazy. How tall that guy? How do you hide us six? Put nine human being Which is awesome.

I'm like, yeah, fucking cares into short. Whatever, you know? There's a couple of them. I've seen a couple of these shows where I think the girls are really attractive. I'm like, oh, those are attractive women, right? We're going to sell their size. But for men.

The first personality in their mind. Yeah, that too. Ah. That's the first explanation I always go to the doctor who drank the rest of the milk God damn it Where my keys Fucking aliens Eeeeee! Sucking aliens!

Ha ha ha! What? What? The next episode of the commercial break starts now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Hopefully, best of you, Chrissy. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this The Commercial Bragg, when you live in the guaranteed. We're just talking about this insane,

I guess it's not so insane because it happens all the time, but this story about this Alabama prison guard who helped this apparently. Let's see, this is our way. Yep, I mean, all evidence points to this lady, you know, helped this guy get on. She hasn't turned up dead somewhere, so yeah. Okay, so let me read a little bit about the story.

Is he a kid? He killed some people. He's wanted a capital murder. Yeah. Okay, so ready? On Thursday, the sheriff told local news station, Vicky White stayed in contact with Casey White over the course of two years while he was in prison and serving time. He said the two also communicated over the phone. Authorities issued an arrest warrant Monday for the officer saying she participated in the escape. She faces charges including permitting or facilitating the escape of an inmate. She was also fired from her position.

Well, good job. Great job, HR. Yeah. Of course. She currently... Red flag. Yeah, she has currently wanted to ask the key. She's been flagged.

Hi, Vicki, do you mind stepping in HR first? Okay, we heard about that. You helping the inmate escape and everything. And unfortunately, we're gonna have to put a note in your HR file. That's a first offense to offenses and you're going to be docked one hour a pay. Currently, she's in accomplice. Singleton told CNN is obvious from the evidence that we have gathered. He didn't kidnap her or force her to do anything as far as getting the cars concerned once they less left the facility. Vicki White is an assistant corrections officer

at the Lauderdale County Sheriff's Officer where she used work for 16 years. An exemplary employee admired and respected by her co-workers, some people close to her said. What were their standards, this particular place? I mean, we're talking about the Lauderdale Sheriff's Office. I'm not making fun of Lauderdale Sheriff's Office, I'm sure they're wonderful, but I mean.

The Lauderdale Alabama. Lauderdale Alabama. Not for Lauderdale Sharves office, I'm sure they're wonderful, but I mean. The Lauderdale Alabama. Lauderdale Alabama. That's for Lauderdale Florida. Yeah, Casey White, who is Casey White? Casey White is a 38 year old serving a 75 year prison sentence for kidnapping an attempted murder after he was convicted of trying to kill his ex girlfriend and kidnapping her two roommates.

He also faces capital murder charges. Capital murder charges in the 2015 murder for hire slaying of Connie Ridgeway after he confessed to killing her while in custody. He was said to go on trial next month. He's considered extremely, you don't fucking say, extremely, I love this one, you know.

He's considered armed and dangerous. You don't say don't approach him in public. What am I gonna do? Ask him out for coffee. I'm asking the guy what is fucking, you, hey, you want to exchange Gmail cards? I mean what the fuck am I gonna do? I'm gonna run screaming in here Hit me up on tinder And the commercial break on Instagram, but yeah, this is not the guy like we're not cheering this guy on you're not getting

Yeah, this is not the guy like we're not cheering this guy on you're not getting really he wooed her KC white stand six foot Nine inches tall and weighs about 260 pounds Six she does put nine no KC white the guy okay, although that was her the sheriff's offer officer has six nine, six foot, fucking nine. Yeah, that's basketball level. That's crazy how tall that guy. How do you hide that six foot nine human being? Howard Stern is like six foot seven.

And he towers over anybody in the room. I mean, if you're at six foot nine, yeah. I once one time sat next to the basketball coach of Brigham. I think it's Brigham Young University. What's up Brigham Young? So Utah State, I can't remember. But he was a well-known basketball coach

and the guy was six foot three. And I sat next to him in first class and his knees were just, oh yeah. It's first class and his knees were like up near his face. You can't ignore someone that's more than six foot three. No, no, I was a basketball hostess, my freshman year in college.

And you're six foot eight. And I, I'm five, two. And those basketball players, I mean, one of them was just super tall. I'm gonna have a picture with them because I mean, it was just like, he was double. Yeah, he was, it's like a weird, as I was double.

Weird. You know how it is. So surveillance footage shows the inmate and prison guard leaving the jail together. Authorities are searching for an Alabama correctional officer inmate who were unrelated but had a special relationship. Authorities released surveillance video showing Casey White being escorted by Vicky White

out of the waterdale contestants on it. Yes, that's weird, but they're not related. Footage shows the pair driving to a parking lot. And some weird day. Oh, they went to a shopping center where then the car was abandoned.

Oh. Oh, what led to the disappearance? Vicky White had turned in paperwork. Yeah, she resigned the day before. She retired the day before. Yeah. Due to the escape, it was apparent in a struggling. She retired the day before. Yeah. Due to the escape, it was apparent in a

spring. She's not getting that pension. She also recently sold her home on sprawling four acres. Yeah, she's not getting that. I don't think they're getting the pension. She was trying though. That's what she was doing. She was trying. Yeah. She was like, you know, those fucking jobs, those like county municipal jobs, there's probably some way she can like come back in the zoo. And then whatever. Yeah. Yeah. She sold her house well below market value only 12 days

before the disappearance. She could be armed with an AR 15. I have. Jesus. I'm here to protect my Jack the beans. I'm a giant. Six foot nine. How do you miss this guy? Come on, you're in fucking Lauderdale, Alabama.

Yeah. And you can't find the six foot nine guy? No. Here's the thing, like we were saying, any time that an inmate escape is publicized like this, they get caught. I do. And that is because I smell and that's do you remember the whole one about the two the the three way one that was going on.

Yes. Yes. And not John like with our our Patricia Arcad played it and what's his name? Abinicio del Toro. Was he the one who played the the older inmate and he was so fucking good in that. The one that just happened a few years ago.

The movie. Yeah. Did they put out? Are they serious about the up in New York? Yeah, up in that movie. The one that just happened a few years ago. The movie. Yeah. Did they put out? Yeah. About the up in New York. Yeah, up in New York. Yeah, yeah.

And there was a three way inmate. There was like a fucking relationship going on. Yeah, they ran. She stayed behind, but there's a guy right in. She got the better of it. She got him out. She literally dug a hole through the sewers. And then they popped up like 30 yards from the shashank.

Shashank redemption. And they were both, they were doing a train on this, on this, Yeah. This sheriff's officer. And she helped them. She would get them, she was bringing them pain supplies

and the pain supplies had like, saws in it and stuff like saws on. And maybe it's either that or an alien. Yeah, well, they've got to fuck something. Guess you got to fuck something. That's like Brian, I always says, when I'm long gone and dead, people are going to quote me. They're like, I got to fuck something. Like Brian always says, when I'm long gone and dead,

people are gonna quote me, they're like, I gotta fuck something. As Green said, as Big Green used to say, you gotta fuck something. And facts aren't always the truth. Six foot fucking nine. And that brings me to the next story,

which is something that Chrissy sent me over here. He was five foot seven before surgery. After surgery, he's five foot ten. Yes. This is a guy. This is happening increasingly, apparently, with men who are dissatisfied with their height. Now, let me ask you a question. Yes.

He's there a minimum height requirement for you. Like, I know a lot of women say they can't be under five foot ten, but they can't be under five foot seven. No. No, you don't care. No, I don't care. We know a lot of short men. We've worked with short men. It seems to be the problem with men, right?

When short women, there seems to be no issue with women. But short men, there seems to be something about an ego. They all seem to be a little bloat, not all of them. I know some short people who are perfectly fine, but also there are some short people who seem to fit right into that Napoleon complex generalization. Yes. Because I don't know, they're angry at the world, and I can understand because I think short

men, especially short men, are just, they're just kind of looked over, did it, did it, did it, pun intended, they're just kind of looked over. Right? If you're six foot nine, and there's been studies done most of the our majority of major presidents. And CEOs are tall. Because I think people just naturally get the confidence. They got the confidence. It looks like they command the presence. Yeah, there's something about a physical stature that really

plays in, I think mentally, the how people treat you. Right. And so when you're short, I think you get ignored, and that's really unfortunate. This is how cosmetic surgery has been. That's right. That's right. You got small sits, no one pays attention. You get big sits, right?

Yeah, get the big one, get the booty lift, get the Brazilian butt lift. But I gotta say, I gotta say, I have dated women with small boobs, and I have dated women with big boobs. And I know that I can't ever put myself inside of a small, a small, breasted woman's world. But I think they're just as hot and sexy as big boobs.

Absolutely, they are. Yeah, I love it. I think I don't care actually. I will have to say when we're made with guys. Yeah, I don't care about their eyes. Yeah, you don't care about their eyes because you're like, if they got a dick, I'll take it. That's crazy. No, I don't care about the high. Yeah, you don't care about their height because you're like if I if they got a dick out, you know I'll take it. That's crazy. No, I

When I'm dead and gone I go for the mine when I'm dead and gone They'll say remember Brian used to say you got to fuck somebody Christy used to say well, they got a dick. I'll fuck it Kidding everybody settle down Jesus Listen I I just happy to be around a breast. I don't give a shit whether it's bigger or it's small. I think they're attractive in both ways. But I understand that height is one of those things that you just like,

you get a little complex. Yeah, most women are not showing me their boots. You get a complex complex. Most women are not showing me their boots. The started off as something that was meant for people who had actual deformity. Or I've been, I don't know if you call it a deformity, but something to wear. It's just, yeah, it's just genetic.

You have inches of a wrong size leg. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a problem. Yeah, yeah. That's a deformity. Yeah. Well, it's a... So this is how it started.

This brings me... And now people are just getting it done. Back around. Yeah, of course they are because that's what happened. I didn't read the whole article. They break your leg and they break your leg and then they put extra and they stretch your leg. Wow.

And they stretch your bone. That's what they do. And here is the thing. This reminds me of all these shows that I love. All these small people, right? Little people, I guess I guess I love the little people shows and I don't love the little people shows because there is some comedy in it for me, like, oh, look at that little guy running around. It's because they what they can accomplish. No, they can accomplish anything.

There are human beings they can accomplish anything. And I love the attitude that most of these shows take with the little people, which is I do not want to be accommodated to. I want to make my life a comedy team. So most of these, like the little people, little people big world is coming back on. Okay, that is one of my favorite. One of my favorites, because I like the personalities in the show. I don't give a shit that they're little,

they're bigger, whatever. Now I like the person that's rolled off and the roll off farm, he's got a pumpkin farm, he's a little tyrant running around. No, know, can't decide what she wants to do with herself and this is the kids, they want the farm, they don't want the farm. This guy is like a fucking, like, he's a multi-multimillionaire and he's done it all. He used to go to like conferences and sell the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the

stools for them for hotels to put into perfect for little people, right? That's like great. This guy is not like the world does, the world is his oyster. He has not let one fucking thing stop him. Seven little Johnson, same fucking thing. The world is your oyster, get it, right? But I can only and most of these,

it's well now that the kids are getting old enough and seven little Johnson's to date and most of them are dating average sized people. Yeah, no, it makes sense. Which is awesome. I'm like, yeah, I fucking cares that you're short. Whatever, you know, there's a couple of that I've seen a couple of these shows

where I think the girls are really attractive. I'm like, oh, those are attractive women, right? They're going to sell their size. But for men. For the other personality in their mind. Yeah, that too. Ah. But these men,

do you remember the bagel boss? Do you remember bagel boss? The whole cake boss? No, not cake boss, that's fucked that guy. He caught off his hand. Remember he got his hand chopped off and like a horrible like cake boxing, a cake bossing accident?

A cake bossing. He put his hand into like a grinder, like a perfect, I can't remember what it was, like a meat grinder or something. Yeah, and he I saw that. What was he doing meat for a cake? I don't know.

He's a weird guy. He's all weird. I don't think that show even exists anymore. Because I think after he kind of, he lost the, he lost the minus touch. Now he's just like, he's just like the rest of us now making shitty cakes that taste like cardboard and say happy boofsy.

So bagel boss was this phenomenon that happened a number of years ago when a very short angry man walked into a bagel shop and the he got into an argument with the person behind the counter. Okay. And then he had went on this like seven minute tie raid screaming and yelling about how women wouldn't fuck him because he's small and fuck you and you're all fake. And he went from, I didn't get cream cheese on my bagel to the whole world as a fucking asshole

because you won't date me. Most people saw him as just like a little asshole, right? Which he was, he was a little asshole. And then he made a number of other videos. Then he thought he was famous, he made a number of videos, he ended up sleeping at his car. This is a whole thing, right? He's up in New Jersey or something.

Okay. But while everybody in Howard Stern took it and ran with it and he had him on the show and the guy was screaming and yelling, you know, everyone thought it was funny to poke the bees nest and watch him blow up. And he did, he had no emotional control whatsoever. He was an emotional two year old. But while everybody else would make in front of him,

I had a thought that I actually felt bad for the guy Because when you're fought when he's like four foot eleven or five foot when he's getting the shorts End of the stick and women were like Swiping right on his tender profile so they could go on a date and film it and make fun of them and also stuff It was really kind of fucking cockknocky, right? Yeah, and I was like that's a really fucking shitty because There's something about- They are the worst sometimes. I'm not talking about a little person,

like with ACONDRA PLAGE or some kind of syndrome. I'm talking about a person who just happens to be short. Yeah. Right? Especially guys, they really get the, they just, I don't know the way to put it, short end of the stick. It's really shitty way to put it, but it's the short end of the stick.

And I feel bad. I have heard out of so many women's mouths, I won't date anybody under five foot ten. I won't date anybody under five foot ten. Well, I think it also depends on how tall the woman is. I'm used to, I mean, I'm short. Yeah, I have two. So everybody's pretty much taller than me.

Yeah, yeah, I know I wouldn't date you. So wouldn't date you. You're just too short. But I'm saying like, if you're a woman who's Yeah, yeah, I know I wouldn't date you. So wouldn't date you. You're just too short. But I'm saying like, if you're a woman who's five, 10, then maybe you don't want to date somebody that's shorter than you because we like to wear heels and we like to do that kind of thing. So, you know, maybe that's the thing. We all have our preferences. Yeah, we do. I think that's fine. I prefer my, the people I date have all their teeth and 10 fingers and toes. Yes. But that doesn't, but that,

but there's something a little extra mean spirited about when women kind of poke at guys about their height. And that's why they're on the dating apps because they can't find somebody to win. I'm saying this as a short guy by the way. Yeah. Like I have, you know, when you, when you're a woman and you automatically say,

I need this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this. You're never gonna find it. So, yeah, we're gonna, unless you're the bachelor at, unless you're the bachelor at, and then you're gonna get whatever you want. But, they don't even work out. Well, no, they don't work out, but that's not the point. The point isn't to work out on the show. The point is how famous can you get after the show.

I mean, yeah, this whole thing is just become a large, it is. It's just a time suck for fame, right? You're just wasting your time, you're making a little bit of an ass of yourself. So that afterwards, you can be some special correspondent on the E channel. Mother fuckers, fuck, I'm a dead end.

I'm a dead end. That's right, goddamn, I hate those fucking shows where these people, they just go, because there's absolutely, and I get into it too, when Astrid starts watching it, I get into it. I guess he does. I guess he does. I'm not watching the Bachelorette.

Don't be hard on yourself. No, I'm not, because I make fun of it all the time. Astrid hates it. Drives are fucking crazy, that I just sit around making fun of it. Well, just know that now there is a cosmetic surgery that can help you grow inches. And all you have to do is break your fucking legs

and stretch them. That's unbelievably painful. Yeah, I mean, I can't even imagine if I... Here's a different way to look at it too. What if you wouldn't date a guy because he's this short, but then he's not that short anymore and you date him and then you find out he got the surgery? I think that would be a turn off in itself. I'd be like, you're that thing.

I dated a woman for two years and I had no idea. I broke her own legs to make them longer. No, she got a boob job at like the age of 17. Yeah, but I'm talking about breaking your own legs. Well, I'm thinking it's all worth it. You were cutting open your chest through the muscle cavity? Yeah, no. I mean, it's the same thing, really is.

And all it is is in the pursuit of looking more attractive to the other sex or feeling more better about yourself. Maybe it's not always about the opposite sex or the same sex or whatever. Maybe it's about just feeling better about yourself, right? The procedure is grasping. Bones, what you're going to the bone though? People break their noses all the time and they break their noses,

they get there, I'm sorry, they're going to fucking anything. I mean, people go through crazy extreme lengths. I know. To just look a little bit better in their opinion, a little bit better so that they feel better about themselves. And you can understand that each their own. If for your entire life, everyone was looking at you as just kind of like almost like a gesture because of how short you were, all you'd want to do is just for one day,

be a couple inches taller, so that people wouldn't look at you in the same way. And that's got to be the same thing with a person who's uncomfortable, a woman who's uncomfortable with her chest, right? I just want to have boobs for one day. I dated a woman who had a huge chest, and she was like the second that I can afford

to get these boobs cut off, I'm gonna use boobs. I had a friend that was like that too, the painful. Yeah, you can't blame them. She's like, I don't want to be, I don't want the first thing that everybody in the world sees is my fucking headlights. That's just what I know.

But there are other people want that, so. And there are people want that. Yeah, I got, look, I'm going the same direction. I'm pretty soon, I'm gonna get a poop, poop reduction. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. See each their own God bless America. But, you know, we'd have lots of friends

that believe in the guy, ask out at absolute opposite. It's like, cool. I'm not ruling it out for myself one day. Oh, I'm getting plastic surgery. Oh, it's coming. You better believe. C-C-B.

Yeah. It's fucking a right. For experiencing this. I am, what I want to do is get a relationship with a plastic surgeon so that we can just talk about it on Aaron that he gives us our shift for free. I want Botox, I want a dick lift, I want a sack lift, and I want the whole body lift.

Oh my, you want the whole body lift? I want a lot of the body lift. You just lift the whole thing. They're gonna cut you open from stif to stern, you're gonna have slices all over your gut and you're stomach. Yeah, you're gonna get it. Come on, you're gonna tell me you're dying

to get a plastic surgery, hasn't bow shit. When it's so available and now so cheap that basically anybody on almost any income can at least get Botox or a little nip and tuck here and there, it's gonna happen. The plastic surgery is. I tried Botox once and it just, I mean, I was like, yeah. Rachel made me an appointment one time

about the first day gifts to me one time. When I was only like, it was in my early 30s, and I'm over in her house and my birthday had just passed and we're drinking and getting fucked up and having fun. And she was like, I got you a birthday gift. And I'm like, what's that? She's like, I'm getting you Botox right around here because you just get terrible, it's terrible.

And I was like, what the fuck? It's not just me and I. I was like, it's not just being honest. That was a great joke. Well, she gets like preventative stuff done. So yeah, but she looks good. She looks amazing. She looks great. Some people go to the right doctor.

Well, the right doctor is everything. Then we know some people have gone to the wrong doctor and they look like alien fuckers. Yeah. That's what they look like. They look like, or the alien that's getting fucked. I'm not really sure. Yeah. One thing I wanted to mention while we're talking about

good looks and all this other stuff, I just wanted to mention it again, is that I did find somebody to get on seeking arrangements. Oh, I'm just. And they, they already started. They're already signed up and we're going to get some updates from them as they go along. I'm hoping that they,

Where are they located in the world that they are in New York. Where are they located in the world? They are in New York. So I think this might happen pretty quickly. Okay. Yeah, but he already signed up. He's already ready to rock. We did this just hours ago, literally.

And so as soon as the results come in, I'm going to have him come on and talk about his experience. Give it a couple of weeks and I'll have him come on and talk about his experience. I don't know if we'll have the same experience that Marlon did, but I'm hoping that we get a similar reaction. Guys, handsome guys, Marlon. Marlon. Marlon. I'm gonna say, Marlon.

By the way, he's like, that's way too close to my name. That's way too close to my name. And I was like, no one's gonna know it's you, dude. I don't even know they didn't know where friends like, no, don't care. He's already texting me, but I said, you have to keep me up to date. Yes.

So there are gonna be on date number four later on this weekend, getting closer and closer to that Venice trip. Yeah, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, Venice! But I'm like, dude, it's different going on a dinner date with somebody than it is on a trip. Oh yeah, that's a make or break.

And she's saying private plane in the whole nine yards. Wow. To Europe. To Venice. Yeah, to Europe. That's you that is in Europe. You don't say That's a that's a expensive. It's one thing to have a private plane fly you States but to go private over to Europe. Yeah, go over to Europe. That's a Mm-hmm. I'm so excited to hear about this. It's a make or break time. I'm gonna spend seven days in the same room as somebody. First of all, just like we were talking about that one day, I have a feeling that already that I know

this lady's personality is like, when I want it, I'm gonna get it, right? Of course. And if he's not ready, then she's gonna get upset about that. And so it's hard to run away from somebody when you're stuck in a room and Venice. And I say Venice nonetheless, because Venice is a very compact place. It is. There's no, it's not airy in room.

No, yeah. Right on top of everybody. Everybody's right on top of you. The rooms are very small, even when they're big, they're small. Right. Unless you're in the palace. Oh yeah. And I'm not sure Marlon has the personality to know how to navigate this whole thing.

Yeah. I think it's possible. There's no cars in Venice either. There's no like Carl Newberg. Yeah, I mean, there's a car here or there, but yeah, I went. I went too. There's a car over here there.

Yeah. I mean, but you and their cycles maybe. They have mopeds occasionally, but there is a car too because they deliver stuff with those little, you know, the little box trucks. Yeah. They have mopeds occasionally, but there is a car or two because they deliver stuff with those little, you know, the little box trucks. They deliver them there. But I think the regardless is, yeah,

it's plenty of the box truck. Not a here. Regardless, you are right about one thing. You're not picking up a taxi, invent it, you either walk in or you're going on a gondola, that's it. Not gonna be you can get from one end of the island to the other, that's 20.6 seconds, yeah.

But I have a suspicion that Marlin is not gonna handle pressure well. He needs to kind of just let her take control. Lean back, enjoy the ride. That's what I do. I'd be like, whatever you want. I'd be like an alien. I'd be like, well, I like an alien,

visit to me and wanted to suck me off. I'd be like, oh you, I wouldn't ask any questions or take no pictures. And now for the commercial break Fuck me off. I'd be like, oh you, I wouldn't ask any questions or take no picture. And now for the commercial break inside of the commercial break. Thank you very much for listening to this episode of TCB. I want to remind you that if you get an opportunity or you're in the market for our sponsors, products or services, please do us a favor and use their specialized URLs and or codes. They always offer a discount or something for free and it lets them know that we are

doing our job so that we can continue to put out great mediocre content for you and for yours. Make sure you go to tcbpodcast.com. There's more information about Chrissy and I. All the audio and the video is there at one location and you can connect with us. That's at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break for content you cannot find anywhere else. We have special videos that we put out once a week called tcb in the studio.

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So now that I've said all the things I need to say, I'll say one more thing. We'll be back to the commercial break after this commercial break. That brings me back around to a topic that you may earn, you know, a topic that we were discussing earlier, which is alien sex. Uh-huh. I learned that Demi Lovato has a brand new television show and it's all about her encounters with UFOs. She actually video recorded of UFO sighting that she had. And to me, it looks pretty convincing, actually.

Yeah. I'm glad she got it on tape. Yeah, I'm glad she got it on tape too, because there are all she'd just be the weird celebrity. Monster hair. Yeah, she'd be like that guy from Blink 182. Who's who? Anyway, so, I think that got me interested in watching the show.

I watched a couple of episodes. And Demi Lovato is still a very attractive woman. Yeah, she's great. I wonder if, you know, she gets an alien dick out of this, you know what I'm saying? Well, she's bi, so it'd be the way. She's non-bionary is what she says and she is bi. She's fluid. She is fluid. I call it. But I'm sure the aliens are fluid too. They've got to be. They've got to be. Like you think they care about which gender they're having sex with?

The Romans didn't. It's only in the 1980s that we get all upset about gay people. That's it. I mean, that's it. It's only since Reagan and we've been so obsessed with what other people do in the bedroom. Fuck off. Who cares? Give a shit. The Romans were fucking anything with a whole lot.

All over the place. And they didn't care. They were just having fun. They were. All right, to each their own. So I decided I'd go back to a fetish I'd heard about many, many times, which is alien sex. Like lots of, it seems like women especially are very interested in alien sex.

Okay. And I thought I would find a video. I think that's a bad time here on earth. I mean, don't most women, isn't that just one of those things? I mean, you just, that you turned them, turned to Malian. Ashton and I were talking about this last night. Don't ask me why, Ashton one of those things? I mean, you just turned them alien. Ashton and I were talking about this last night. Don't ask me why, Ashton and I were talking about this last night. We're talking about how a woman really has to just like the whole,

there has to be a whole thing. It's like a whole head, heart, body. It all has to be in it in the moment working together in conjunction with each other to really feel intimate and turned on. It doesn't mean us to be a lengthy encounter. It means it just has to be working in unison. Exactly. Unless it's just you're fucking somebody so fucking hot

that doesn't matter who it is. It doesn't matter how good they are. They're just gonna, you know, jizz anyway. But then men were like physiologically built to just like spread our seeds. So it doesn't really matter. We're just like, ah! Yeah, yeah, it's way more visual for men

and way more mental for women. In fact, right? Scientific facts, one out of 10 dentist degree. So this has been sponsored by Oral Bee. It's sponsored by Oral Bee, Oral Blow Jumps. Oral Blow Jumps. Oral Blow Jumps. Oral Blow Jumps. Oral Blow Jumps.

Oral Blow Jumps. Keep your mouth fresh while you're sucking that cock. So I think that most women that you would talk to would say that they've had really unpleasurable sexual experiences before, because maybe part of it is that, in that particular moment, everything just wasn't working together and all of a sudden it became either comical, boring or upsetting, right?

It was just like, oh, this is not, I'm not here. I'm not here. Meanwhile, talk to how, how many unpleasant sexual experiences they have had? What's that? What's that? What? What?

What? What? Who? What? What? Who's fucking me? I'm cooking to get here. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, the truth is that I can think of a few, but it's because they were comical upsetting or boring, right? They were actually those things.

Not it wasn't in my head. It was, you know, we had the gobbler. Gobbler! Gobbler! Uh, we had the personbbler. Gobbler! We had the person who did not move whatsoever. Yeah, it was really weird. It was like having sex with a dead bar. And I learned after I had dated her

that that was actually turned her on. Like kind of playing dead, letting it happen. Like you said, letting it happen. Oh, whatever. Did I say that? Uh, yes, you just did. Okay. Thanks three minutes ago.

Ah! Did it, did it, did it, did it. Welcome to the come, what's the name again? Like a commercial break. Who made that name up? I'm on a bond game. That's crazy. Uh, so I went around and I searched around for videos with people that talking about their encounters,

sexual encounters. With aliens. With aliens, like to hear one? Yes, of course. This is a couple that, well, I'll let them explain themselves. This is another British documentary here, and this is the wrong one, there you go, right there. British documentary, go to TC,

go to, don't go to TC, go to youtube.com slash the commercial break or you could go to tcbpodcast.com. Or you can go to Spotify Live. You can go to Spotify Live, the commercial break live on Spotify and you can watch the entire episode a day or two after it releases. We also do the same thing on YouTube

and we put out clips every single day of the week for your viewing enjoyment. Please subscribe if you would because, you know, we don't have any subscribers. So we need to be with you. Alright, here we go. This is Alice Haggity. She's the divorce mother of three who now lives with her boyfriend Pat Markatilio. And the other one is not to make fun of Alice here, but Alice looks like an alien.

And he looks like he's from 1970s Vegas. You remember that video game, uh, leisure suit Larry? Yeah. Do you remember the video game where he thought hot tub Larry or whatever was? Yeah. That x-rated video game that came out right when computers were around and they had like the little... Yeah. It's this guy. He's got a shirt on. He's got gold chain on Gold chain he's right black hair this guy's sick seat Unremarkable if I was having sex with that I'd probably pretend I was having sex with aliens too. Yes, so the of Trenton new Jersey

Oh, yeah There's one look at that's a fly an alien crack right there. I just saw one look at that! That's a fine alien cuck right there! That's what we just saw. Look at that alien penis! They're just sitting out in lawn chairs. Yeah. There's one right there! Yep. In the fraud daylight. Doctor UF-

Doctor UF- And that she has seen them throughout her life. Even if for a long time no one would believe her. Wow. I'm assuming no no one would believe her. I'm assuming no one still does believe her. These people live in. What is that show? Extreme hoarders. Yeah, this is extreme hoarding. Anytime it's organized toward, any organized toward, it's warm. Anytime you put a stained pillow on top of your couch cushions to sit on, it's probably an indication of how clean your house is. So I'm just sharing that. Right.

I told my mother at one time that I was seeing these beings. This is when I was seven years old, eight years old, and I was told I was seeing demons that I was fooling around seeing demons that I was um, fooling around with stuff that I shouldn't be. It was like my vagina. Oh, no. It's not this lady's out there, dude.

Hard because I'm not a liar. You know, I'm not going to I'm not making up stories. These things were really happy. Okay, so this is a husband and a wife that are sitting together. The wife is in a Mumu, a literal Walmart Mumu. She's got Horn Rim glasses on. Huge glasses. Huge glasses that make her eyes look like alien eyes.

A possible perm with some bang. Yeah, then the roots from 1997. Yeah. And then we've got Leisure Suit Larry, who's got his hair slick back. He's got a Hawaiian shirt on with a gold chain. Yeah, with a gold gold ring. Gold rings gold chains. He's got his shirt open. He seems like he might be. He seems relaxed. Yeah, he seems relaxed. And when she said, I'm not a liar. That's my girl.

He said, I'm not a liar. He put his hand to his face like, oh, here she goes again. But everything changed when Alice met Pat. The two of you are beginning a strange journey. They met at a UFO conference. There is an alternate agenda. Let's just say Pat is no skeptic when it comes. There's some feeds, Tony. It's to aliens.

In fact, he's down feeds, Tony. It's to aliens. In fact, he's downright obsessive. He's collected pretty much every UFO publication ever published. Real sex 20, intimate sessions. Wait, I just saw a tape that said real sex 20. Call for Bob on N-Cogs. That was on HBO. HBO is calling. Press one to accept the charges from Sork. Hey, it's me. Bob, what's going on? We'd like to come down and do some fucking, and you get the HBO documentary career there. Yeah, no problem. I got you covered.

When are you coming on the 19 circular of the moon? We like hot zorka cock. Zork. I don't know where I made that up, but I love it. Zork. Yeah, this guy's a full on fetish freak. Look at that aliener, Radeka. A secret files.

Could you please find a way to make sure that these tapes do not get out? Oh, I got you covered. I've got a VHS tape I'll write secret files on it. No one will ever see it Thank you. Is that the best security earth has to offer? It's the top of the line technology I'm gonna break the little tab so it can't be recorded over You are great Bob. Thank you. You will get much alien pegging when you get there. I love the pegging. Oh my God. It's too. Naturally, their relationship blossomed. And then an unpleasant. Like a flower.

Naturally. On the moon. These two. And if events get the post-acoustic decision. He had me an alien dick honey. You had me an alien, Jiz. The first time you said, Zorn, come, I was like, oh, yes, she's my girl. She's the one.

That's my girl. She's the one. Oh. Alice came to me and said that she was pregnant. And I said, oh, my goodness, you know, and we were surprised. We were both surprised. She would, don't worry, the baby can come live with us. I'm sore.

Yeah. The first time she said she was pregnant, I was like, oh, well, there's another one I got to throw away her phone number two. another one I got a throw away her phone number two. I got Christmas, was that Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve. And there was a big four inch spot of blood on her bed and she felt that she wasn't pregnant any longer. Called a miscarriage, I think.

I know, I was born in that. Bob. Yeah. Bob. It could have been a miscarriage, but for Alison Pat, there's a much more convincing guy from ICTV. ICTV? ICTV, whatever, ICTV. ICTV.

Yeah, no, I'm sure that they share a lot of the same thing. Okay. sure that they share a lot of the same dairy. Splination, aliens. Aliens. They had taken the baby. They took our baby. Most miscarriages happened around two months. I was beyond that. So I knew that something more was happening to me, aliens.

Aliens. That's the first explanation I always go to the doctor who drank the rest of the milk aliens god damn aliens where are my keys Fucking aliens Oh shit me a diaper God damn aliens I'm so mysterious Why is anybody listening to the commercial break? Fucking aliens God damn it I'll get those aliens anybody listening to the commercial break. Fuckin' alien.

Goddamnit. I'll get those aliens. I can, don't let me know when they're coming. I'm gonna get them. Ah! Oh my God. This is, this is natural conclusion, aliens. Uh, shit on this kid.

They took the baby. Yeah, they did. They took the baby. Hey, Bob, it's us, the Zarks. Don't worry to get us safe with us. We're using him. He's on a hamster wheel. He's currently propelling our ships, their spades.

His name is Davide. Found out that I was actually given in the aliens my babies. Why are they showing that like little... It's just like a weird, they're trying to be trendy documentary.

It's like it's a piece of shit. It's show wins times. Oh, alien, the win times go hand in it. Why the times just shines? alien the wind chimes go hand in it. Why that chimes just chimes? That's a holy ant. Why are my french fries cold? Wind chimes are aliens. One of the two not sure. Fucking wind chimes an alien. Nothing goes together like wind chimes an alien. Ice cream and apple pie. like Wing Shines and Alien. Ice cream and apple pie.

Shev relays and cold beers. Wing Shines. The Navians. Yep. And would aliens come and take Alice's baby? She's convinced it's because the baby was not actually Pat's, but the product of one of her alien encounters. And the good news is that the baby didn't die.

The good news. That's the good news. That's the good news. The baby didn't die. The bad news is that the baby didn't die. The good news. That's the good news. That's the good news. The baby didn't die. The bad news is. The bad news is that the happy ending. We're not entirely. He's being tortured by aliens.

The bad news is he didn't die. The bad news is that we're not entirely sure where he is. Good news is he didn't die. The bad news is I was cheating on Bob and there must have been great news to Bob Bob's like if it's not mine who says it Aliens fucking aliens Aliens is a good cop out yeah Yeah, that's right. Really is. I mean it's under you. Yes, officer, was there a problem? You're not fast, you're going

Or win, chives. What is it, too? It was the alien. Charlie's being brought up on an alien spaceship as we speak. And how does she know? Well Alice says that on one of her trips into space, she- Elon Musk's center of the visit. Elon Musk got winded, tweeted back at her. Free trip to see your Zork child.

Oh, that Elon Musk. He's saving the world, isn't he? He really is. Introduced to hundreds of such alien human hybrid babies. Oh, well, you were extra small. Maybe he knows all the other, maybe she knows all the other babies that the wackin tree guy was.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure they're playing on the playground together. We don't know. You may not have heard this episode. It may not have been out yet, whatever. Anyway, we reviewed a guy who claims to have had sex with alien named Crescent for over 66 years, but he failed to ask her why she liked to pick her. But he had like 150 alien babies that he saw in

a glass case one time. Yeah. He's 68 inches. The hair was very, very fine, very little of it. You could see the skeletal system through the skin. Translucent skin. Translucent skin. But, you know, why I'd be no good for me. I need a zon tanning bed But if you're you have to think about it. If you're living in space and you constantly traveling through space and there's no Sun, I guess your skin would just turn translucent, right? But here's another question What kind of drugs are these people Didn't Jersey just legalize mushrooms and acid they did I think right? Normal but you could see knowledge in the eyes I don't know, but I want some. Didn't Jersey just legalize mushrooms and acid? They did, I think, right?

Normal, but you could see knowledge in the eyes, unnatural knowing that they had the knowledge of the universe, that they were much more intelligent that I could ever be. Bob's like, let's go back to watching Real Sex 20. Yeah. Hey, honey. You what? I just did it for the erotic. Let's go back to watching Real Sex 20. Hey honey, you are. I just did it for the erotic.

You want to put on it? Whatever she says. You want to put on alien, evil and get it on? Sorry honey, I haven't had it either. Morning to Alice, her responsibilities don't end with breeding. The aliens have occasionally abducted her for a brief spell of alien wet nursing. Wet nursing! They're bringing her up to breastfeeding!

Yeah! You mean the aliens didn't have that park covered? Yeah. They didn't think that through. Alright Bob, this is orc from orc I just had sex with your wife Many many many many many many many many times Unfortunately, I didn't buy any more of you know I didn't buy any Gerber baby food Do you mind if I borrow your wife's dits?

God damn it, aliens! It's fucking with my life! It wasn't my fault, it was a winter! When I was on board I had to put my hand on the cylinder coming up out of the floor or whatever and I could feel all my energy draining Into the silver. Oh Picture of this this is like a glory hold me This picture is hilarious. I mean there's no there no Picasso What is it? Oh, wow. Look at the stick figure. I just stick figure.

My hands on come. There's a hole in the floor and there's a dick coming out of the floor. They put my hands on it, drained all my energy. That's because that's an alien glory hole. Oh my God. Oh my God. I have seen this before. Wow.

And I was told that, you know, it's Mother's Love for the Babies. And somehow they put the energy into the babies. And... Storage tank of Mother's Love. Of course. Thank you. Welcome back to the ship, Karen.

Please call put your hands on the mother's love stick. Now rub furiously and vigorously. Yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, more mother's love. Don are collecting it. This is hilarious. It says, I'm here, storage tank of Mother's Love Energy or Life Energy. I think in human terms, that's called a used t-shirt. Possibly a towel We are collecting medicine, keep rubbing current, keep rubbing The show is so stupid, we are so stupid I know, This is crazy. Karen's whacking off me.

I can't stop. I can't stop. That's crazy. Yeah. It's just bass. It looks like a ball. That's the cool. I can't rub in the bass. It can't tell me the mother's love's coming through just fine. Karen, Keep on rubbing And wait a minute. You're gonna see a new mother's lipstick come out of the ground. Don't worry It might have a different color. Maybe it's it's gonna bend to the other way

Oh my god, Karen You've been tricked by the aliens Oh my god Karen you've been tricked by the aliens to keep going Yeah, what else is wrong with not live without the human touch Was like I was the universal Wacker I was the alien master That's what I did. I got an important position. Bater of the universe. Love machine, you know, for the babies.

A milk machine for the babies. An Alice isn't the only one to claim to have given birth to hybrids. Oh, okay, we're going on a... Oh, got up. He is after her encounters with the reptilian alien. Pamela says she woke up one night, start naked, and surrounded by alien beings who led you into a room inside a spaceship where some tiny figures were waiting. Why are they showing children? Why are they showing children?

That's a little weird. Sorry I'm getting a little flashback from it all now. Oh my God, this is... Yeah. There's a blonde bomb shell on the screen right now. I mean, she's a little bit older, but you can tell that she's a good looking attractive woman. And she's all sexted out. She's got to see

through shirt on with a laced shoe. She was sitting by the pool on a lacy dress. Unless he lacy dress and she's been taken to a room with children apparently for sex. I don't know. There were four little girls who rushed over and grabbed my arms and started calling me mommy. Get off me! I don't know you! Get it? Get a little brax! Welcome, Danielle. And I woke up in the grocery store. The children are going to take you to the mother's love stick. We need a new mother love, milker.

We want to try you out for a couple of weeks. I was too freaked out to embrace them. And I kept saying, let me go. And they said, Mommy, don't go. And I said, let me out of here, get away from me. And all of a sudden, it felt like I fell back through the door. I woke up in K-Mart.

I was working on a truck enter. And that's what I woke up on the Rusty nail bar. Ha, ha, ha. And Kenneth was trying to stuff a keyfold that coca-mino said saying you got to wake up girl You're kids are here you nodded out your kids are outside in the car all four of them They were just in here screaming I

Don't know what pills you're on Karen, but you got to get it somewhere else My dad started oh my god, and I was so panicked and I can't remember when I have been more afraid. I noticed my arms were kind of sore and I looked down and I saw little dime-like bruise marks on my arms where my daughters had been grabbing me. It hit me that I must have been through something truly physical. Yes, it's called a crystal meth binge. It's called ayahuasca and you should do it around the shoulder. Oh my God. Okay, just another couple of minutes.

So yeah, it was pretty scary, especially for someone who never wanted children. You didn't say you didn't have them. Never wanted. You never wanted them. Yeah. You said they were in yours. You never wanted them. You never wanted them. All those pregnancies just went straight up to Zork. Yeah. Yeah, with the other ladies.

It's not just human women who are breeding with aliens. Oh, no, we're going to somebody else. All right. All right. We'll save this for the next episode. I promise we'll get back to it. Oh, and you know what? was not the right what happened there aliens Like that

Well, that's some of the hardest like Oh my god, oh my god, okay, well, you know, I'm gonna start using that one more one more. No, we're gonna No, I'm gonna start using that excuse. Yeah me too. Yeah, when Astrid asks me what's going on? I'm gonna say you know What are you doing? A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A Oh My gosh, oh that was a good one. We're laughing so hard. I messed up the entire back half of the show The windtime. Yeah, no one's gonna care they didn't make it this far anyway They tuned out way back when I started talking Wait before then when I start talking about the Seven Little Johnston, they were like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Turn it off. I'll check again next week. Yeah, I'll try the next episode. Ha, ha, ha. Oh my gosh. Well guys, thanks for joining us. And TCBPodcast.com, that's where you go. You can find out more about Christmas.

And for those of you that made it this far, please write a review that says, Alien. Yes! This is our song. I'm sure we're gonna get a cover. Oh yeah. Yeah, because we got Smartass listeners.

So I'm sure that they'll write it. TCPPodcast.com's where you go, you'll find out more about Chrissy and I read all the show notes. You can also check out our sponsors, discounted codes and URLs there at the show notes page. Or you can hit us up on Instagram, at thecommercialbreak, or youtube.com slash the commercial break for content you can't find anywhere else. All of our full episodes, all of our clips, all of our YouTube exclusive videos are all on our YouTube channel

and now we are on Spotify video. Go to Spotify, search for the commercial break live and you will see the most recent episodes are up there. They're full length video episodes so you can listen or watch or combination of both. Whatever you want to do, Chrissy and I look so good. Why wouldn't you want to? That's all I got to say. And 6-6-1-2-3-7-8-2-9-66-6-1. Best, the number two. Y-O-Yo! We love you. Thank you so much. Leave us a podcast review. If you're getting an opportunity, I love you, Chris. I love you, Brian. What more can we do?

I think that's it. Okay, best to you. Best to you. And until next time, we always say we do say. And we must say bye. Bye! Bye! YEEE! I'm a sad, to the next video. I'm gonna go back to the next video.

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I'm gonna go back to the next video. I'm gonna go back to the next video. I'm gonna go back to the place where I was going to be and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was going to be and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was going to be and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was going to be and I'm gonna go back to the place where I was going to be

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