The Commercial Break - Brad VanBusStation

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

Bryan & Krissy watch one of the most mystifying Love Connections yet, where Brad VanBurgenstern, the virgin, takes his date to some very suspicious places because, as he says, "the night is still in diapers, babe." The oldest dog in the world is 31! Bryan’s history of strange neighbors (and parrots) Don’t stick your fingers near the birds! Birds of a feather flock together… Love Connection (for hot girl summer) Show a little knee Dancewear Sales This guy is a wild one I’m ugly, I’m a virgin, and I love the camera! Animated Brad Old birks or restaurant shoes? Vicki is so slay “The nights still in diapers, babe” The bus station and the temple, a perfect date We’re doing a full investigative report on this date! Bryan’s going down the rabbit hole for this one It’s a TCB TBD LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Don't let anybody treat you like you're a bull taught dog When you're really a little crispy one right off the grill Maybe with a little chili on top of it even On this episode of the commercial break Hey, would you like a little appetites a little appetizer? What do you say we go out of the bus station? little appetizer. What do you say we go out to the bus station? That's the place off the bus station. I always had a new restaurant, town ever. No, it's the bus station.

No, no, but it's the best place to get ice cream sandwiches and hair with. So, let me know. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The party in the morning! Oh yeah, Kaz again, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Ryan Green. This is my dear friend and co-host, the beautiful Kristen Joy, holy best of you, Chrissy.

And that's you, Brian. And best of you out there in the podcast universe. I just read, and I sure shit hope this is not my fate. But I just read that the oldest dog in the world turned 31 years old. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, Oldest dog in the world, turd. 31 years old. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. I know oftentimes that, you know, we say nasty things about religion and a pragmatic way, but please God, don't let Blue live to 31 years old. 23, 23, I'm good with 23.

31 years old. Wow, that's a long time. That's like 150 years old and dull years. It's a Labrador. Oh, good old lab. 31 years old. Can you believe that? That's a long time my cat lived until she was 22.

Not that long. That's a cat. Cats can live in their 20s, right? They live longer. Well, it's not normal, but. Yeah, I just, you know, I like, I think I told this story one time. We're living downtown, I was living with my ex-wife, we lived in this house,

and across the way was a duplex. And the duplex was like, set way off the street. I remember that. Do you remember that? Okay, there's a duplex, yeah, because we spent a lot of nights on that porch. Yes. Drinking and God knows what else ourselves to death.

Dancing. Dancing. God bless the neighbors. Remember I had that one super old neighbor next door and then I had that young couple who I believe were Mormon next to us on the other side. Perfect. And so they got married in their backyard and I had two dogs at the time. I had bots and winny. And so they were really well-behaved dogs. They were very sweet.

They were very sweet. They didn't bark a lot. I mean, you heard a bark out of bots once a day, maybe. And it was because someone was knocking on the front door. But anyway, we had a fenced-in backyard. We had the Mormons living next to us. And they got married. We saw them setting up on a Friday

and for a Saturday wedding. And so they were never particularly like talkative with us us and I can understand why is because we were like a den of an equities over there just cocaine beer and getting debauchery going on twenty-friars a day but we were over uh... i was in the backyard now is over near the fence with the dogs and i hear this on the on the fence. Hello? Hey, what's going on, man?

What you setting up for over there? We're actually getting married. Oh, wow, congratulations. You're getting married in your backyard? Yeah, yeah, we're just gonna have some friends and some family over and we're getting married and it's happening tomorrow. Could you do me a favor?

Sure, no problem. What you need? Can you keep it down between like 12 and three in the afternoon? And I was like, keep it down. And he's like, yeah, you know, sometimes I know you guys like to, you know, play loud music and party and stuff. And the dogs are back there sniffing around and jingling, jingling. Could you just kind of keep it down between 12 and three in the afternoon? And I was like, sure, no problem, dude. Guess what I did.

I let the dogs in the backyard for the entire time. No, I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding, I did. Anyway, had this big long driveway going to this duplex, a right across the street from us, and they had a fucking parrot, not a cockatoo, not one of those little small birds that dies in three months. It parrot, an actual parrot.

I forget what you call them. They're like cockatoo, is that what it is? Is it a cockatoo? I mean, I think a parrot's a parrot and a cockatoo's a cockatoo. I know, but there's like one of them is a pet and one of them is not. Is a cockatoo the one on the fruitloops box?

And then a parrot. That's a two-can. Two-can Sam. Two-can Sam, that's right. Okay, whatever kind of bird these people have, I don't know, I'm not a bird expert. No, I grew up, well, when I was younger, there was a friend of mine that his family had birds.

Yeah. Like, three of them. Parrots? So I would go in there, yeah, and then we'd walk. The big cock, they would say things. Bite your finger off, too, if you fucking get in there right. Yeah, no, I didn would talk, they would say things. Bite your finger off too, you fucking get in there right. I didn't try and get into the cages. So they had this parrot and that parrot, you could be in the back of my house, in the

very back of my house, in a shower with the water running and the music playing and still hear that fucking parrot from across the street. And they kept it outside, I can only imagine, because it was even too noisy for them to have inside of the house. They kept it outside. Most of the time, they kept it outside. Ah!

What about with weather? Go fuck yourself! Go fuck yourself! I don't know. Well, they had a screened in port. Oh, oh, okay. So this went on for two years, two years. Until one day I get in and I'll get the door.

And I go and I look and it's this kind of scraggly guy. He's got a shirt off, he's very skinny. He's like got, you know, the jeans on with the belt like cinched way tight. Obviously, obviously he's doing drugs. That's all I can say. Obviously he's doing drugs. That's all I can say. Obviously he's doing drugs.

I can only imagine making Mountain Dew crystal meth in the backyard or whatever. I don't know, but he looks whacked out and he looks totally fucked up. And I have never, ever in my entire, I was there for like eight years. I had never seen the neighbors. I had only heard the parent.

So I opened the door. Hello? Hey man, I'm a day old from Cross Street. And I'm like, oh, hey, Dale, nice to meet you. I didn't extend my hand to shake it because I was afraid of where his hand had been. And I was like, hey, man, it's nice to meet you. Yeah, man, listen, I got to move out of the house in like three days. And I was wondering that you could take my pet bird, just maybe for a month, and I'd come back and get it. And I'm like, no.

I got dogs and people I care about in eardrums. But I don't know you. Yeah, I was like, I go, hey, dail. I have eardrums. I have eardrums. I'm not gonna take your fucking parrot. So I go, hey man, I appreciate that you need a place for the bird to stay, but I don't think my house

is the right place. I got two dogs. Check with the Mormons. Yeah, check with the Mormons. They're really, they love loud noises. I said, listen, I can understand, but you know, you also gonna understand my situation. I got two dogs.

I just got a divorce. I'm mainly drunk all the time. It's highly likely that parents are gonna get into some kind of narcotics and it's gonna kill it. You don't want me taking care of your parent. I can barely take care of myself. You don't want the parent involved in the whole situation.

And so he stood out there for a few minutes trying to convince me of the parent. You see, it's like I just went about a parent. I didn't know it was gonna lay up 150 years and now I gotta find somebody to take you long term. That's right. They live a long time. Yeah, and now there's a bunch of people, like pet lovers,

animal lovers, who are running out trying to find people who have these parrots and getting them to sign agreements that gives a chain of custody for when and if they die. Because apparently a big problem is, they take them to the vet or somebody dies. They take them to the local vet and Aryan or whatever. They try and give them to the dog pound. Why the dog pound would take a parrot?

I don't know. But then the birds end up getting euthanized because there's nothing else they can do with them, right? And they're really hard to home because you really have to know what the fuck you're doing when you have a parrot. I can imagine there's not a lot of demand at the local shelter for parents. No, unless you're dating from cross-stray. I swear, I got this guy.

I mean, this guy was a work. He had to toast and everything. He had to hold toast and all of it. Hey, man, I appreciate you. Listen, if you know of anybody, just come over, let me know. I give you my phone number if you want. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

I know where to find you for the next couple of days. I'll call your people. My people will call your people if we find a place to re-home your fucking parent. But keep it for a month, too. Keep it for a month. That's what he asked me. Keep it for a month. He said, I keep it outside. That doesn't really matter. It's used to being outside. It's probably why it's squacking all the time because it's fucking cold, on rainy, wet, hungry, needs water. So I know that these parents, so then I was dating this girl one time.

She lived down, her dad lived down in Florida, we went out there one time, I think it told this story, ended up sleeping on like an air mattress in the office of this house because I was just trying to be respectful of the fact that most parents don't want you sleeping with their daughter in their, don't want you going to pound town on their daughter

in their house when you're not married. I was just trying to, I was just being a good, you know, gentleman. Sport. Good sport. Yeah. I'll fuck her when you're sleeping and I'll come slink back to the bed later.

Which I did. Uh, so, so that he he had like three parents, and he loved these birds, but the birds would attack anybody who tried to get near them, except for him. So, everybody else in the house was just scared shitless of these birds that were literally in the house.

And so everyone wore, they weren't in a cage or anything. They were in a cage. All three of them weren't in a cage. Like a series of cages. Like a whole wall was dedicated to these birds. And so they warned me first thing gonna come in, don't stick your fingers anywhere near that.

You know, the birds, they don't like people. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like you're gonna go and stick your finger. Hey, birdie, birdie. Hey, birdie, birdie. Hey, birdie, birdie. So, oh, that goes your finger. Yeah.

Because they will take off your finger. So over the course of a day or two, I started staring at this one parent. We started communicating mind-melding, right? And eventually, the guy, I said, hey, do you ever take these things out? And he's like, yeah, I do. But usually not when people are strange people around because I'm telling hey, you know, do you ever take these things out? And he's like, yeah, I do, but usually not when people are strange people are around because I'm telling you these birds, they just don't like other people. And I don't want unpredictable behavior

when I'm, that I can't control. And he goes, but if you want me to, I'll take it out, I gotta put it on my shoulder and you can, whatever. So he puts on the shoulder. And an eye patch. Yeah, what's that? He was, this was in Tampa, Florida. I put on my eye patch.

Yeah. This is my birds of the church. Ergh. I'll put on my eye patch. Yeah. This is my bird's of the shirt. Ergh. I'll put on my best matey, show he knows I'm a friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed, parody. Come up over under my shoulder and poke out my eyeball.

Ergh. So he takes out the bird. He puts it on, you know, it's on his like his, his forehand. Right. Yeah. And the bird, he puts it on, he's on his like his forehand. Right, yeah. I've seen them do that. And the bird hops toward me, like hops toward me. It was like, he tries to get off his little thing

and hops on him, but the wings are clipped, right? So he can't fly. So he's just kinda like, like this. And I was like, oh shit, he's gonna attack me. And he's like, wow, I've never seen him do that before, you know? And the bird is like, Rang, rang, rang, rang. So put the bird back in the cage.

I felt like that was maybe his sign that he didn't like me and I needed to stay away. Go to sleep on the mattress in the office the next day. It's got two of these like French doors that you can just kind of push open, the pop, you know, little poppy French doors. So I'm sleeping and all of a sudden I hear, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, like this word, and I can hear on the floor.

And I'm like, I'm kind of waking up out of sleep. I'm like, what is that? I turn my head and the fucking parrot is right there. And I'm like, the parrot, the murder parrot, the murder parrot is right next to me. What am I gonna do? But that bird didn't do a thing. It bounced close to me and it started like nudging me

with its nose. It was like, oh my God. Like this, it liked me. It actually liked me. And so I was like, wow, murder parrot likes me. Oh. And I swear to God, that was my first visit there. We became the best of friends.

Like any time I would go, the murder parent, the murder parent would sit on my shoulder, and it would like, it would nudge my face. It'd be like this. Yeah, it loved me. So who knows, maybe I should have taken the parent. Maybe it was better than Dale. I just can't commit to anything.

I could barely commit to, you know, a full day's work. Let alone the murder parent. Oh my God. You know know two birds of a feather what do they say a feather flock together and that the right way to say I'm you and the parents speaking of birds of a feather that flock together I don't even know how we got and all this conversation the world's old to start all right Sometimes I have to think about where we were before. You know what I'm saying? Circle. It's just like, I thought about a new tag line for the show

that I actually might put up there. Feel free to go down the rabbit hole. We'll throw you a ladder. That's true. We'll help you back out. We'll help you back out. That's right. Speaking of two birds of a feather to flock together,

fall in love. You know, Chrissy, we love our dating shows around here. We've reviewed so many of them at the, I can't even remember all the names, but one of the ones that sticks with us, two of the ones that stick with me are Blind Date, which we just reviewed a couple episodes ago. And what I really would love to do is I love to review another love connection episode as we get into the thick of summer and you know we take off for our vacations and everyone's chilling out and relaxing. I thought we'd

do something easy. I thought we'd not yell and scream about religion today and we'd simply take it easy, settle down and do a little love connection. Something we can all agree on is that love connection was the very first OG dating game. It was the OG Tinder. It's the very first Tinder. You take a look at pictures and a little bit of information about somebody and then you make a decision about who you wanna go out with.

You meet up with them, you bang real quick and then you ghost them. That's how it works. That's how it's always works. You show a little knee. Yeah, you show a little knee. You show a little knee, maybe you get a knee job. And then you're, we're one knee job.

You mind if I, I know you don't want to take the bird. You mind if I fuck your knee? I fuck your knee real quick. I don't know, I just like fucking knees. I just, ever since I've been on this vendor, I feel like knees are really sexy. I'll fuck the back of it. That way you don't have any jizz on your front. But those have the knee sweat. Yeah, I feel like me is really sexy. I'll fuck the back of it, that way you don't have any jizz on your front.

But you don't have the knee sweat. Yeah, I got the knee sweat. Let me put some K-Wi back there and I'll... Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Nothing like a knee-fuck. Nothing like a knee-fuck.

Yeah. I wonder how many people have knee-fucked. You know what's happened. Probably. You know there's happened? Probably. You know there's some douche bag out there that was like, lemme fuck the fuck your knee. People have strange fetishes.

People do have strange fetishes. Which we also reviewed too. Maybe you should look into that. Listen, I know that every HL and I have talked about this multiple times when you get that smell, when somebody has that smell. Oh yeah, the smell. You literally wanna chop them up and eat them.

You literally, it's like a baby. It's like a baby or a puppy breath. It's like you want to eat their face. And maybe, maybe, even though I would never had to, but maybe I would have fucked a knee, you had someone said, you can only fuck my knee. I would have been like, I'll fuck your knee. That's not a problem.

Like a fuck your knee. Or can I just hump the bed right next to you? There is that stuff. Maybe we can whack off together. The second you walk in the door. By the way, someone who knows that girl reached out to me after I told that story on there. Yes, they did. And so I'm really sorry I told that story on there, but she did ask me to whack off right

in front of her. The second I walked in the door, it's not true. Well, we have to fill content. We have to fill content. What did they say? We have to have to fill. I've got days and days of content. What do you want me to do? I got to fill it up.

I'm now contractually committed to thousand episodes or whatever the fuck it is. I got it and it's the only thing I know is my own life. So I didn't say any names. No one's gonna know except for that one person who did know. You know what I'm saying? Okay, just checking. Alright, so without further ado, I'll

scroll on the internet. As you do. And as I do, do. G-Z-B. Hey everybody, it's your favorite part of the show where I pung for more of your attention. First way, you can help fill this hole in my soul, go to Apple, and leave a sub-positive review. It takes two seconds out of your day, and way, you can help fill this hole in my soul, go to Apple, and leave a positive

review. It takes two seconds out of your day, and it really does help grow the show. But there's no quid bro quo here. You don't have to give us anything to get something for free. Go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, and send us your physical address. We'll send you a 21 EPM sticker directly to your locale. You can also go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited episodes the same day they air here on the audio fee.

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and I thank you ahead of time for that kind gesture. Let's listen to those sponsors for a few minutes, and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. And I found an old episode of Love Connection, and I mean an old episode of The Love Connection. This is from 1983. What the fuck, Chuck? What the fuck, Chuck? I say that to myself, Chuck. I know, I do too.

Yeah, I say that to myself. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck.

I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that to myself, Chuck. I say that the fuck, Chuck? Good job. Just don't say that to anybody. Out loud. Keep that in your inside voice. Good compliment. Any time he wants to do any says that his grandma is always trying to fix him up.

Please welcome Brad. This guy's in dancewear sales. I haven't seen that on a train. Dancewear sales. I have not seen that on a train. That is the best occupation I have ever seen. And I'd like to know if in on LinkedIn that gives it's one of the options for sales. You know they give you the options. Danceware. Danceware sales. You know they don't have an option

for podcasting on any of the forms like government forms you have to fill out where it says you know what category of business do you have. And when put your input podcaster it's not they're it's not even respected enough to have a bit dance where sales is there and podcasting is not thousand bucks he tripped when he walked out for a guy, he's, this is 1983 and he is rocking Jim's shoes with a full suit. Yeah, he's going to the 90's. He's going to the 90's. This guy is ahead of his time.

Now, this is not the fashion model you would hope. He works from home with this dancewear sales. He works from home with this dancewear sales. He's got this. I wonder if it's dancewear sales like my daughter goes to dance class and she wears a tutu and I'm selling it to you or dancewear sales like high heels, fish dance class and she wears a tutu and I'm selling it to you. Or dancewear sales like high heels,

fishnet stockings and garter belts. I wonder what kind of dancewear he's in there. He might talk. Yeah, I hope so. How is yours? That is the worst outfit I've ever seen on a human being part. That's pretty bad.

Are those literally corduroy pants? They're pants striped something. Pinstriped corduroy pants, Nike Runches, great jacket yellow polo shirt and a haircut that i can only describe as a cereal box uh...

grandma try to fix you up why so i think you feel that uh... fresh fruit basket and i address i don't feel that uh... my grandma uh... to come and practice she uh... uh... you got him Jim hey Julie come look at Todd Todd made a funny on the show Just like I told him Redress her every Saturday and she takes her pen and pencil. She'd said and she talks to all the other grandmas about their granddaughters for me

Usually workout. Well, nanny brings back all the numbers and I pick the names. I want I call them up Chuck But they remind me of... Kill him, that's my problem. This guy is a handful. Yeah. What's his name again? I don't know. Let's go back.

Yeah, he seems like a Vanny, but I don't think he's a Vanny. Let's go back and let's see. He's Brad. Brad Grunberg. Grunberg. Grunberg. You know Grunberg? You know Grunberg.

Hey, you see Grunberg. You see Grunberg. You know Grunberg. Hey, you see Grunberg. You see Grunberg. You tell him get the fuck over here. That guy owes me a knee fuck Tell Grunberg I'm so waiting for that knee fuck. I'll get him fucking asshole Fucking Brad. What kind of name is Brad? Brad Grunberg. He does have the BG initials. He does. Anybody with the initials BG is doomed

to a life of misery and poverty. Yeah. Well, I just wanted to thank you for that fresh fruit basket in my dressing room. Oh, I don't think. Yeah, no problem. My grandma, it's a common practice. She goes to the hairdresser every Saturday

and she takes her pen and pencil, she's said, and she talks to all the other grandmas about their grandmas. Pen and pencil said. Well, it's the 80s. Yeah, that's true. You don't have your black berry or your iPhone. Nothing. Pen and pencil said. Hey, I can get your phone number sure. Write write it down with my pen and Pencil said. It went in her pocket book. Yeah. Do me a favor.

Pick a pen or a pencil. Any pen or a pencil. Write it down on a piece of paper. I got you. I'll put it in my, I'll put it in my roller dicks. Nice for me. Oh, this isn't usually workout. Well, Nanny brings back all the numbers,

and I pick the names I want. I call them up, Chuck, but they remind me of last month's cattle for some reason. This guy, yeah. This is the kind of guy who tells jokes in front of the mirror to make sure he gets it right. Yeah. Months what? Which is also, there's another BG in the studio that does that also. Cattle Chuck, they're big girls.

I'm a style man. I'm a style man. I'm a style. Well, you're not a style man. You're a slight little guy. That's a little guy. A shock. A shock. A shock.

A shock. If you want to just date this joke, if you hadn't grown up and old and fussy, wow, you're done exactly. I was going to say the same thing. It's like this guy's fit and time. Yeah, he's looking for a 10 and he's a four Well, I do it many ways, but the Friday night at the temple seems to be pretty good Yeah, there's a dance there, and I probably I usually go up there and we have a good time dancing

But the girl's a little too conservative for a guy like me, you know, we're over to Well, I thought he was a tell you But how he's doing? No, he's Jewish Mr. Vitt. We're over two. I'm just saying people's ethnicity. Yeah. Well, I thought he was a telly. I would tell you too, but how he's doing? No, he's Jewish. He's just wild type. I'm a wild animal guy, you know? And I tell you what's that.

So that's pretty good, but you know. I like to do cocaine after back at girls' knees. You're gonna have nice smooth knees if you know what I'm talking about Chuck. I like to bang a couple of rails and they take a couple shots of Remy Mountain. I get crazy at the Friday night dance. Don't you worry, Chuck. These girls are in safe hands with me.

I'm a wild guy. I was once, true story. I was supposed to play Bluto in Animal House, but I was 12, so I didn't get to buy. He want me. He want to take me home, but no. Well, tell me this surefire way of getting compliments that you said in England. It's a temple. Okay.

Yeah, but you know. Continue. I went to a couple of those dances at the Catholic, you know. Is that what it's take him home? Okay. Yeah, I went to a couple of those dances at the Catholic church and let me tell you something. Take him home to bang?

Yeah, of course. Take him home to Bang? Yeah, of course. Take them home to Bang or meet mom and dad. Break bread, you know, the whole thing. I'm coming anytime you want to. That's what you're saying. I'm a B type guy, and I'm also a virgin. A B, what's a B? I'm also a virgin.

I'm also a virgin. I'm a B type guy. Like you mean you play on the B team? What are you talking about? I think he means like not type A, the type B. Well, I could have guessed that by his. But also through the Virgin. Yeah.

Why did he throw in Virgin? I don't know. I don't know either. Not something you would do these days. No. But yeah, I see him as anybody who looks at his outfit can probably tell he's not an A-type personality. When you're wearing green pinstripe pants at a gray shirt with a yellow polo.

We'll get to the Virgin later. What? There's two types of guys. There's the A and B. We'll get to the Virgin later. What? There's two types of guys. There's the A and B. You're in A, I'm a B. Okay? That's a compliment. I think you're a word for it.

Okay. And I'm a B, so I'm a Virgin, so I decided that this is the way I'm going to get girls. I'll show you, Chuck. Okay. Hi. I'm ugly, but I'm a nice guy. No, I'm really ugly. No, no, no, you're not, right?

You're a good-looking guy. You're cute. You're fun to be with. No, I'm ugly. I'm ugly. I'm horrible. You're all of this stuff. And then they come on and say, now, come on, Brad, you're... Wow, sounds like a surefire way to get laid.

Dykes. Hello. Hey, it's Brad Grunberg from the temple. How you doing? Good. You said Brad from the temple? Yeah, Brad from the temple. My grandma gave me your phone number number you know what I'm talking about

hey listen uh what do you I I want one to ten what what would you give me I don't even know you I'm ugly I'm just telling you I'm ugly okay thanks for the call no no no wait keep on going for a little while and then you eventually want to screw me so I'm really ugly I'm terribly ugly okay thanks Brad from the temple I gotta go now you're scaring me no no no wait I just want to tell me. So I'm really ugly. I'm terribly ugly. OK, thanks Brad from the temple. I got to go now. You're scaring me. No, no, no, wait.

I just want to tell you about my small penis. OK, Brad. I have no money. Thanks for calling. I'm allergic. My shoes have a hole in it. OK. I have zero experience in bed.

OK, talk to you later. You have anybody say yes? You're right, Brad, leave. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. You have anybody say yes you're right Brad and leave I'm too many types of I mean I'm gonna be honest to you. Yeah, but no, it's a great. It's a great way and I mean a lot of girls that way and Basically when I get to that point I can do basically anything with anything anything most anything except have sex apparently right Yeah, which is probably why you're still a

sex apparently right now which is probably why you're still a perfect yeah red why do i feel like brad went on the love connection because it was the only way you get closer to the tv cameras where he desperately wanted to be i bet if we look at bad gunberg right now he's been in sixty movies as like uh like an extra. Yeah. Like Google Brad Gunberg on IMDv. Grindburger. Grindburger?

Grindburger? I thought it was just Grindburger. It's Grindburger? Exactly. Okay. Alright. There's Donna. She's originally from Queens, New York, and Joey's photography, and working with stained

glass. And she says that she often gets compliments on her ride. Here's Donna's requirements for men. She doesn't have a decent job, you know, an education. And, you know, just, just be wise with, you know, what he does. I want you to notice something about this. I want to share this with people who are listening. At the, on the screen is a nice young lady who's giving her little, if Vicki's giving her little silo liquid here. And then in the bottom there's a picture

in picture, a box showing Brad and his reaction to the girl he gets so animated that some TV producer inside of the studio decides to cut the box out because they don't like the way Brad's acting they're like he's this guy's obnoxious cut about watch you know an education and you know, just... They cut him out. Why is with, you know, what he does with his money? He's spending on me. Next is Vicki, her hobbies include playing basketball, baseball, football. She also likes to swim, cook, work out, and go horseback riding. Wow. Wow. Wow, Brad and this girl seem perfect fit for each other.

Brad's... Brad only wears tennis shoes with a suit. Thanks, Sam. She says her head is trimmed up. We're gonna move you and I'll pop a piece of gun in my mouth just because, you know, I'm hungry or, you know, just because I don't want to ask for popcorn or something. And I'll find myself down, you know, and I just feel so stupid. And then I realize I go, my God, nice impression that you're making. Finally, you're watching Gailers. She was raised in Kansas. She says that Gail looks like she's part of the doggers.

Gail is the, is Gail doggers? Is that a wig on top of her head? Is she wearing a wig? I don't think her hair is two totally different colors. That really is. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, that, she definitely looks like a dogger. She spends most of her time taking care of her horse

Now when she wants to impress a man she'll bacon cookies. She hasn't had much luck with her dates recently and here's one example He started getting really hostile. I mean, you come here and you do this and you know And I'm all no way down. I do what I want to do You know just go with the flow and I'm sad to say I punched him What? You know, just go with the flow. And I said the same, I punched him. What? This bizarre. But they probably, they probably had a limited selection

of who they thought they could match Brad up with. Yeah, they probably had like, I would imagine the girls get some saying this as my thought is like, hey, you're going to go out with Brad. They probably had 3,000 girls on video. And these are the three. They just didn't have a respondent. So they're like, I have to put them in there. They didn't get the message.

Wow, an interesting combination. Let's take a look at all three of them. Again, first is Donna. She's 25. She's a stockbroker's assistant. Now, Vicki's an education student. She's 23. It's an education student. Finally, Gayle, she's 23. It's an education student. Finally, Gail, she's 24. He's an education student. A student of education? A student of education. Oh, that's interesting. That's like being a business person.

I'm a person of business. Gail's a word processor who has a sideline of boxing. A word processor. Right, before they did it with computers. Oh yeah. I guess so. Yes. What did that entail?

Processing words. A big fact. Give me a favor process these words for me. I appreciate it. I think there's one of those in my head Ladies as a date who would you fix him up with now that you know bread so well Do Do if you don't pick two, everyone's gonna die! Alright, the audience has made his choice and Brad's gonna tell us who he picked. Did you pick, Brad? Well, I picked Victoria. Victoria! Why is Brad so very animated? He really is.

I wonder what he's doing. Yeah, that fruit basket didn't get used. I imagine it's you just cutting rails before he came out. Oh, let's fast forward through the the our show for the day. We'll be back tomorrow with Brad and more singles. We're going to try to make a love connection right here. And I'm Chuck Wollery hoping all your dates are good ones tonight. See you tomorrow. Bye bye. Yeah, and I'm Chuck Wollery hoping all your dates are good ones tonight See you tomorrow, bye bye Yeah, that's his tagline hoping all your dates are good tonight. How many dates am I going on tonight? All of them? When I was single like all of all your dates are good this decade

Yes, today he told us which of these three women he chose as his date. Today you'll hear what happened on that date. Okay, he's stuck up again. Yeah, somebody in the production office got a hold of him and said, hey, dude, you can't wear Nike's pinstripe pants, yellow shirt and a gray blazer. It's just not a great combination. So today, let's put you in black shoes, black pants, gray socks. I think they look like old Bergen socks. Yeah, they kind of do.

Yeah. Old Bergen socks are those shoes you get when you work at a restaurant and you know you're going to need three pairs a year, so you spend $10 on them at Walmart. Ben there, done that. Well, good. It doesn't, doesn't a woman deserve to start out in a 50-50 relationship? Not in my ballpark. It starts out 75-25 and if they are...

75, your favorite, 25-ers. Of course, always in my favor and out they have to earn the other twenty five how do they do that well they have to earn points by understanding the kind of guy i am and i get a few brownie points in a few percentage points but if they don't i get rid of them now i'm the kind of i like the very people under my porch you got to understand the kind of guy i am it's at your only twenty five percent

human right now. I'm gonna work up. I know, nothing like starting with 75, 25 in my favor. Hey, listen, only. Shut up! I thought I'd work myself up to 50, 50. Oh, listen, you're strictly a word processor until you get to 50, 50.

Process my words. What a douche could do, isl. If they understand that, it's a couple other things special on the side. I give them the 25, we got 50-50. What is the special on the side? Tickling your balls, tickling your taint? I'm gonna like that. Me, me, stuff.

This guy is way too animated. I'd love to see where he is today. He must have a TikTok channel. He can't help himself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know Brad. Let's bring it up. I don't know Brad. You're an asshole. Yeah, exactly. He wants to say that.

Hmm. Listen, listen, it's simple math. Here you are. It's how you do it. Women have uteruses. Men have penises Uteruses are inside penises are outside if you just do the measurements It's pure. It's just it's mathematical you equal

75% less than I do that's how it works I kept the day on what happened yesterday now we show the audience brads three choices They voted on which one they thought would be best for it I'm gonna take a look at all three of them again today catch up first there's Donna she enjoys photography and working with stained glass uh... Donna was done a vicki her hobbies include playing uh... baseball basketball and football and she likes this guy

swear to god we're doing a welfare check yeah welfare check on vicki and gale when she wants to impress a man, she'll bake him cookies. Why do I wish it was Gale? I think I do too. Now the audience vote was recorded yesterday and we'll get to that a little bit later on, but right now Brad's gonna tell us who he showed. Vicki, he shows Vicki. I'm gonna say that with the K-Land. That was a cute. I'm happy. Hi, Brad.

How are you? How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm good.

Hi, Brad. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. How are, Brad, your moment. Well, it all started by 5.30 p.m. That's how I started. It started really. It started really. Get to her house.

Her mom answers her door. And we're talking about one sweet woman, a nice lady. We sat down and talked. We talked about what she cooked for her husband. Where they're going to go this weekend. Just a lovely lady. And her husband had a- Did you touch her teeth?

That's all I care about! At home, I would have taught to him, too. After that, Vicki came out. She was looking very nice. What did you think of Brad when you saw him, Vicki? Well, he was dressed all right. He was dressed nice, so he wasn't gorgeous, but he was. Whoa.

Oh. Oh. Brad's been me. I know. He's been rehearsing this story for months. And they went on the date. He's been trying to figure out how he spins it so he gets a second date, and she comes right out with a ball-crusher.

Well, he's not exactly attractive. I know, he's just my type. He's beginning to hyperventilate, I guess. Like I said, I am an ugly god. I didn't say that, Brad. Well Like I said, I am an ugly god. But you... I didn't say that, Brad. Well, her body wasn't looking too good either. Oh!

Whoa! Brad, Brad, Brad. Boo-yah! Got it! Still 25%. Yeah. I'll show this lady. Who did she think she was dealing with?

I'm Brad, I'm grad my Brad van Brandon burger what I said on the he told me over the phone he was about 180 I don't think so Brad maybe okay I was 180 done and you're sure 150. Ssh! Zing-a! I got a, yada yada yada, boom, boom, boom, bang, bang. You're just, what does she think she's fucking with? I'm Brad Van Bergenberger. I'm a virgin. I party at the temple, but I'm too crazy for even the temple. But I still go on Friday nights.

I still take my grandma's advice. What happened next, Brad? Well, as we got, uh, give her the roses. Now I'm an ugly, but I'm a nice guy. Give her the roses. Is that nice? Did things pick up here a little bit, David? No, not really. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Go, Vicki, go. I was worried about you at first. Now I know you're going to handle your run. Three favorite phrases of the night. First of all, he called me babe all night, which I don't know. It's just, I need to know someone a little longer before they call me babe, which I kind of feel a little bit Wow look at Vicki Mm-hmm

Doing was he said the night still in diapers. I haven't heard that phrase for a long time I'm back at first. I don't even know what it meant And I had to think about it the night till's still in diapers meeting, the night's young. I think I got it. Yeah. And third of all, all he kept saying was, out of control, we're going to have out of control of time, the night's still in diapers. I'm taking you to Long John Silver's and then we're going to go to my temple for somebody.

Hey, oh. Oh, I tried. I had to read. I was at Hey, oh. Oh, I tried. I was at out of control. It was. For me, it was. It was. It was.

It was. It was. Yeah, I can't wait to go home. The bus station went to the bus station. What did you do at the bus station? We went through the doors. It's a bus station. The fuck is this guy doing?

That is a complete new one. I have never been to the bus station on the day. No. Yep. That's I'm running away from the law. I stay out of the bus stations. If any machine on the left hand side had ice cream sandwiches, it was a lot of fun.

He told me. What? He took her to ice cream sandwiches from the vending machine. Wow, I didn't even know they sold ice cream sandwiches in vending machines. I didn't know it was very familiar. It sounds like he knew exactly where to find the ice cream sandwiches. Fine, you'll find me at the bus station. With ice cream sandwiches. What happened next?

Well, you're not going to ask why you went to the bus station. Yeah. Come on. It was obviously for the ice cream sandwich. Yeah, ice cream sandwiches. But can't you find ice cream sandwiches somewhere else? Yeah, just get a start of the road. Hey, would you like a little appetizer? A little st到了? What do you say we go down to the bus station?

This is the place called the bus station. Oh, is that a new restaurant? Town-Amber? No, it's the bus station. No, no, but it's the best place to get ice cream sandwiches in heroin. So let me know. Good stuff.

It's a temple on Wilshire Boulevard. A temple on Wilshire Boulevard. What are you all waiting for? Yeah, we went in and started dancing, drinking, and having a good time. Did you took her to the temple? Brad. At first I was curious. Where's the station now, the temple?

Yeah. I was wondering why you were a virgin, but now it's clear. Yeah, it is. Yeah, you've never been outside your house with a female. Oh, it's a temple. Yeah, it was a party. It was a wedding party. It was a wedding party. It was a wedding party is it

Brad We're gonna have this party and then can you picture and pull it up the top Ladies and gentlemen for the first time ever, Mrs. and Mr. Schmutz. Hey, it's Brad. And Brad. He's back. I told you not to invite Brad.

A lady came up to me about a half hour later and says, do you know anybody here? I go, isn't this Ron Applebaum's part, Mids for Party? No, this is the white sweating. We crashed the wedding party. Yeah. Do you know anybody here? Do you know anybody here? Because you're a real asshole and we'd

like you to leave. I just want to make sure I'm not offending the groom, even though he's the one who asked me to tell you to leave. Wow. This is the cheapest. Yeah, either he's cheap or so sheltered, that the only place he goes is to grandma's and the temple. And the bus station. He's keeping with another girl because that never happened. We never crashed to wedding. He must have had a date. No, I'm sorry, man.

It just put me on the drinks line. Now he's lying, he's making it up. Who's with Wade? Why would she lie? Is she just embarrassed about crashing a wedding? I don't think that she's lying. Or did they go to the temple? No one was there and now Brad's making up a story

that there was gonna be a wedding, but I got kicked out before it happened. I know, I guess you must have been with another girl or something because we never went to a wedding. Wait a minute, I mean, this is like, this is a huge discrepancy here. I mean, yeah, go, Chuck, get after it. This is a major thing. You this is like, this is a huge discrepancy here. I mean, yeah, go check it after it. This is a major thing.

You're doing the, really? Yes, I'm not lying. You didn't go? No, you made this up? We passed by and he said it with, you know, he said, I would have been nice if we went. You say, Vicki, we believe you. She's locked for a deep chuck end of story.

Next place. Why not? Whoa, Fred. Wow. I think we found the world's biggest asshole, and I really hope he has a TikTok channel. Now, to give him a little bit, a little bit of credit, she could be lying.

But you're also the guy who just said, in the same sentence, I'm a virgin and women only count for 25% until they do, then they give me a hand job. I'm fine. Okay, we're off to a little while. We're off to a couple, you know, some singing relax, have a few cocktails and we're sitting around.

Good music we left. Time to go to dinner. Where? Hotel on Lusha. That'll be Hillcrest. Okay. So you're not women right? When we asked for it.

If my man, Travina be again, there was no music. Here we go again. Oh, my God. This is bizarre. Wow, this is really strange. I had no idea when I downloaded this video that this would get so strange. I'm literally fascinated by what happened.

And I'd like to do a full investigative report here on the commercial break about this date. Exactly. Put the notebook. Hold on one second. No, I'm going to write a note to Tina right now because we are going to find... What happened with Brown? Yeah.

Tina need to do investigation on Love Connection video. Love Connection date. Love connection date. Oh my God, I almost never pick up my phone and write things during the middle of the show, unless it's a note, because I am really fascinated, and I would love to see if I could get a hold of this woman and see if she would tell the actual story about what happened with her and Brad.

Wouldn't that be the best thing that ever happened to the commercial break, which is not a high bar to set, but I'm just cherry. That's what I wanted to play with the new. Okay, whatever she said. Listen, listen. That might have been his plan that there isn't music, but unfortunately they were not playing at the time that we were thinking.

How did this date end up? Just have your mind. Yeah, Chuck's like, I gotta get out of here. You gotta also put more vision. In 2023, this would have been the best thing to ever happen to this episode of the love connection But in 1983 30 years 40 years ago This was not the way that television conducted itself. It was very like they weren't gonna get into a bunch of controversy They just wanted to move on in 15 minutes

I just wanted to move on in 15 minutes. Yep, yep. Well, what's for a couple of minutes? Two four. Two four. Wait, what happened? Hold on one second. Talk to her. Talk to her.

Oh, so. On the cheek. And she kissed the air. Over here. I was kissing over here. I tried it. What the hell, a nice guy. He's gonna give me a pass on the cheeks.

Like I tell my friends I got a kiss on what you went on. She got a kiss on the head. Yeah, this and that. I'm a nice guy. You want the cheeks like I tell my friends I got a kiss but you went on, you got a kiss. Yeah, this and that. I'm a Mace guy, I'm a kiss guy. I'm a star on a butt. Chalk is over this guy. He's like, get this guy off my state. Yes, he is.

I just love to go out with his whole life. But I think you should bring her out so I can give her a big hug. Let's take a look and see the audience. I think you should keep you two separated so no one gets hurt. Yeah. Please, please, please, for the big shot. Vicki. No, 47 for sure.

How many? Oh. Oh. Yeah, they should have picked the last one. Yeah. That would have been fascinating. She's what? The girl who punched somebody.

Yeah, she was close. No. There's a safe to assume that you probably would like to go out with Vicki again if we pay for it. Chalka Rathasdea Virgin for the rest of my life. Well, it looks like you're going to. Yeah, you're well on your way, buddy. We do have to investigate. We are going to investigate. Yes, I will investigate this. Brad, bum guard or something. Yeah, I'll figure it out Brandon burger Brandon burger

I said burger, but maybe it is burger. Oh, yeah, I think it's burger. Okay. I'm gonna figure it out I will go down the rabbit hole like I have never gone down a rabbit hole before I'm really good at searching on the internet Sorry things didn't work out for you as far as the left and I think it's a nice gift for you. Good luck at finals. Thank you, Chuck. Excellent. Thank you. You can't look at Ralph Montioe.

He does like a fat Ralph Montioe. Thanks for coming on this day. Chuck, thank you so much. Thanks a lot. Yeah, good luck to you. Thank you. We're going to be back with another couple just a lot. Yeah, good luck to you. Thank you. We're going to be back with another couple just a minute. Oh, good luck to you and all you're lying.

Wow, that was weird. Wow, that was the strangest. I have to say hands down. That was the strangest. Definitely. Love connection. I've never seen anything like that. Maybe dating show, yeah, that we've ever seen.

We're two people who went on the same date. Do not tell the same story Alright, we'll get to the bottom of it No, we didn't We had music and drinks There was no music We went to a nice dinner We had ice cream sandwiches at the bus station

Jack hole Uhhhh Oh my god Let's hope Our boy Brad has lived as long as These parents do and we can still find them he's still out there because I desperately want to know what happened to this guy. We will follow up on Brad Brandenberger or Brandenberg whatever his fucking name is.

I'll follow up on it. Brad and Vicki, I'm going to investigate. There's got to be some more information about these two human beings. And if I can, I will get Vicki on the show. Because I don't wanna hear Brad side of the story. I couldn't handle him. He's just gonna take up all our airtime, trying to, you know, trying to just talk, I can't.

I wanna know where he is. There's only one talker on this show, and that's me. You want your own show, Brad, go find it. All right, hey, tcbpodcast.com, that's where you can get your free 21 EPM sticker, ejaculations per month. It sounds like Brad needs to have a little release there.

So you'll either get a 21 EPM sticker or our next sticker, it depends if we still have any more of these left. So go quick, hit the contact us button, give us your physical address at tcbpodcast.com and we'll send you a sticker as soon as we can. Also, the entire catalog is up there. Audio and video, go... Thanks a lot for the first few episodes.

Except for the first few episodes. Well, I say the entire accessible, the entire public catalog is there. Someday we may release the first few, but probably not. It was bad, and you don't want to hit on wasting your time. So tcbpodcast.com, at the commercial break on Instagram, at tcbpodcast on TikTok, and 1-855-tcb-8383. That's 1-855-tcb-8383.

That's where you go. Drop us a text message, comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all at that phone number. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. Please go there. Like and subscribe on the fully edited episodes the same day they air here on the audio peak. Oh, good okay, Chrissy. I guess that's all I can take today. So I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chr Chrissy And I always say we do say and we must say good byeI'm a starI'm a starI'm a star I'm a star

I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star I'm a star you