The Commercial Break - Bring Back Dry Humping!

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Krissy is back (again), and we couldn't be more pleased! While STIs are not stigmatized as much these days, Bryan thinks bringing back dry humping could solve the STI problem (and premature ejaculation).   LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**  

Anyone who travels abroad without emotium only have themselves to blame. On this episode of The Commercial Break. So if it's hard to contract from a toilet seat where you are clearly derogged, disrobed, how hard is it got to be to do that when you actually have clothes on? Estesies don't run through jeans or through panties because if they did, I would have caught a lot of them when I turned my dry-humping face.

That's right. I still say bring dry-humping back. I still say bring dry-humping back. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. I get asked. Oh yeah, Kazakhstan. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. The Queen is back. Kirsten, joy, holy best of you. Best of you, Brian.

Best of you out there in the podcast universe. What a special day for you out there in the podcast universe. It's Kirsten Rehoody. Return to her rightful place in T.C.B. Law and Studio. Back here. For good. I hope you never take another day off. No, I hope I never do too.

The deep sadness in my heart, and apparently a lot of people out there in the podcast universe too. I know, everybody's been so sweet. Oh, they've been so nice. I've warmed my heart. I'm noticing a pattern about all of these sex messages. No one ever talks good about me. It's a Chrissy, Christina, Tina, Astrid.

Everyone says lovely things when you guys come on air, but then I come on air and no one says anything. Well, you're exsolid given. Thank you, Chrissy. I really appreciate that coming from the one person in the world that's contractually obligated to blow smoke up my eyes. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not, I've got that best friend clause. I take a dick and keep on licking.

I've got the best friend clause. You do have the best friend clause. Well, I'm glad to have you back, Chrissy. Well, I'm good to be back. And I know the audience is glad to have you back too, as indicated by the thousands of text messages that came in of praying for your return and your safety and your well-being. Some people speculated that you and I got into a big argument and we did, we do all the time, but that was not the reason, that was not the reason Chrissy wasn't here.

But I just wanted to tell you that it's really good to have you back. I missed you terribly. I'm really good. I missed you guys too, I was so excited to come today because I was like, I'm ready to get back. Into it back to a routine. Man, it's a lot to go through. It's a lot of family emergency.

And it pops up. Chrissy was sharing that she's been eating like crap. She's been sleeping like crap. Those are just a whole thing. But when you go into emergency mode, everything gets shaken up to the core. Like everything changes. And it's hard to get back into that routine

because your mindset, I think it's like that fight or flight thing that comes into your body. Yeah, survival mode. Survival mode. And I know when I'm in survival mode, crystals is the top thing that's on my mind. I want a crystal. Why is it that we want the fattiest, nastiest, craziest foods when we're under some kind of stress? Yeah, I don't know.

It's got to have something to do with our body being in fight or flame. Exactly. You're gonna store up for the winter or something like that? Right. You'll know when you will eat next, which is kind of what does happen when you go into emergency mode. Absolutely.

Like, I don't know when I'm gonna get a chance to eat again. I go into 30, 30 EPM mode when I go into emergency. That's what I do. I work off to get the stress just shove it all off. Get rid of the poison Brian get rid of the poison. Oh my God.

Well she's back. She's here. So now I promised everybody a little T.C.B. news when you came back. So I think we should share. This will be the first time Chrissy's hearing it too. So Chrissy there you go. Chrissy I have decided at the omnipotent Brian hearing it too. So Chrissy, there you go. Chrissy, I have decided at the omnipotent Brian here at TCB, the, what did they call it? I don't know. Anyway,

the kid on TCB, the all-knowing, the all-present, the all-ever-see, the eye. The TCB eye has decided. The man behind the curtain. That there is not, that literally behind the curtain. I know. That's literally behind the curtain. People know. Not literally behind the curtain. People are so impressed by this studio, unless I was to turn the camera around and they saw what was really going on here. I have decided in my infinite wisdom, as if this podcast doesn't cause enough trouble,

and as if there's not enough episodes to catch up on, I have decided in my infinite wisdom that three episodes a week is just not enough T.C.B. And we are going to Monday through Thursday episodes of the commercial break. So people can enjoy it on every ride they take, everywhere with every family member, every day of the, what do you think about this, Chrissy? I think I'm just so happy about it. I love this idea.

And my wife, she's like, that's fantastic news. You mean you're going to be at the house less and making more money Fantastic I am going to Miami for just a couple short years and I will be back with the children or without the children When you guys decide to retire from the commercial break never That's never never never going to happen. We need this money. We need this money I told Astrid I said you can move down to Florida with the kids. If you're really that pissed off with me, feel free, but you got to go to the villages.

So that Chrissy and I have a place to stay when we decide to retire. Or do the commercial break from another location. Right. I had this wild idea in my head the other day. I was like, what if we actually did an episode or two or three from the villages, like live from the villages in Florida?

Ha ha ha ha. Well, okay. What do you think? I mean, well, how exactly that work will be rid of the club? Hey guys, hey everybody. Great Trump flag. Mag all the way, go buddy. We need a golf car. We need a golf car. We need huge Trump flags. How do we, what do people get those 30-foot Trump flags to fly off the back of those golf cart? I saw a video. I'm a guy put in one

of those Trump flags. I am a son and they're made in China. Oh my god. Yeah, they're made in China. Of course they are. Make America great again with Chinese factory made flags. I saw this episode, this short clip. I saw this, this short clip, I forgot I was a YouTuber or Instagram, but this guy put one of those Trump, he got a new Trump flag. He put it on the back of his golf cart, and I'm assuming he was in the village,

it looked like he was in the floor. You know, there was palm trees and stuff like that, nicely a kutrimon the streets and all this other shit. He puts it on the back, and then he drives down the street, and one of his neighbors is like, yeah, go, Trump. And so it gets in the back of the golf cart and the golf cart tips up because the flag is so heavy.

And then one guy who was sitting on the back just falls flat on his face. He was probably 60, 70 years old. I was going to say I've been a brick a hip or anything. I think that's pretty common. Breaking a hip is just like a right of passage when you get older, but it's highly dangerous. Yeah, it is. Did I say that I broke my rib? No, yes, when I came for the one day.

Yeah, when you hit me when you're here for that one day this month, you gave it, I broke my rib. I know, we were giving each other a hug and you were like, oh, be careful. I know I was at the funeral, I was hugging everyone. I leaned over and hugged everybody Think your dad thought I was weird that I even went in for a hug. He put his hand down. I went for a hug Your dad's like my dad. He's like oh

I don't know, but this has got to be gay in some way I'm kidding your dad is a sweet guy I'm kidding, your dad is a sweet guy. He loves the game. He's all about the game. He's very supportive. Yeah, but the way that I went in for the hug, he was like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah for this four jacket. It instantaneously made me feel better. Yeah. Because I'm here debating, I have to do something after the funeral, but I'm here debating all morning,

what I should wear, what I should wear. And at Irving's funeral, I wore like a button-down shirt tucked in with slacks and whatever. And I was way overdressed for the occasion because no one else showed up. Right, no one else was there. That's right, Kevin was in a four-piece suit.

Kevin, yeah. So I was like, I don't know what to wear. And she's like, honey, it's Chrissy, like it's Chrissy and Papa Joe. It's okay, show up in whatever. They're not gonna care as long as you show up. And I was like, I don't know what to wear and she's like honey. It's Chrissy like it's Chrissy and Papa Joe It's okay show up and whatever they're not gonna care as long as you show up and I'm like, okay Let me put on a flannel some jeans and some boots and I really looked very casual extraordinarily casual

You look dressy casual dressy casual, but everybody else was except for Jeff was Your sister look beautiful and I walked in that door and I scanned the room and it's like everybody in suits and dresses. And then I see Jeff with the Colonel Bruce Hampton T-shirt on and I'm like, okay. Dot, dot, dot. I am home. Yes, dot, dot, dot. Yes, that means connect the dots.

My grandfather used to always say, you gotta connect the dots. Dot, dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot, dot. Colonel Bruce said the same thing and so they had that in common and Kelly and either night before. You're like, you to wear the t-shirt

Got to wear it got to wear it got to do it. I was like really? The Jolmina after those four bottles of wine By the fabon fire outside The Papa Joe party you guys were having Papa Joe would have approved. Oh, he would have one I love to yes lovely service you guys did a great job. You showed up to the to the other place for. Well, Chrissy sends out, I say Chrissy send me the address to this funeral home because there's a million funeral home. So the fuck am I supposed to know which one to go to?

So she sends one. It's downtown here in Atlanta. She sends this very nicely presented, like I don't know if it's an e-vite or a blog page or whatever. It's a obituary on the website of the funeral home. Oh, got you. Okay. So it was like a blog post on the funeral home with all the deeds as the kids would say. Yeah. What time? It started and where.

Yeah. So I click on the first address that I see and I'm like, okay, there it is. I get down to downtown Atlanta. You can go on this highway called I-20 that runs Easter West. And I know for a fact that the funeral home is in East Atlanta or close to East Atlanta, yet the directions are taking me west. So I say, roll with it, Brian, you've been wrong on this so much, just roll with it. Whatever Google is telling you, go there. I end up 38 minutes from the funeral home at the gravesite,

and I'm like, I don't think I'm supposed to be. No one's there, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm at. And so then I realize that there's two addresses, I click the next one, it's literally 38 minutes away. I'm already five minutes late as it is, so I text Chrissy, and I'm like, hey Chrissy, I really apologize, but I actually went to the gravesite first.

I wasn't even looking at my phone. I know, three days hey, Chrissy, I really apologize, but I actually went to the graveside first. I wasn't even looking at my phone. I know. Three days later, Chrissy said, oh, no problem. I'll see you when you get there. Sarah, what do you see? See you later. And I did eventually make it to the funeral home. It was just a lovely service.

And the picture you guys had going and everyone was so nice and your nephews are so cute. Oh, they are. It was just a lovely service. And the pictures you guys had go in and everyone was so nice and your, your nephews are so cute. They're very lovely, very lovely service. Unlike the last funeral that I like to, there was an actual casket. They're not just a pine wood box. I couldn't believe it. Like what a very nice casket. Papa Joe was laid to rest in. Kelly and I picked that out. And then I thought to myself, wow, Irving's son spared absolutely every expense at his funeral because he had a pine wood box. They didn't bother to cover the dirt. Your grandfather, they had this nice awning.

The vault, the mud was covered with turf. Like everything was, there were flowers all around. It was such a lovely service in such stark contrast when I had seen it at Irvings. Where they literally piled a pile of dirt and two guys desperately tried to save Irving from falling out of the pinewood box as he was being lowered.

Oh my God. And Papa Joseph, you know, they said, we got it, you guys go and we'll take care of it from here. I't know why we had to stay I guess to dump all the dirt back on Irving So when I just kept going I didn't know what to do Kevin Kevin was just literally like standing there. It was I think it was as if it was Kevin's job He was just throwing dirt on Irving. Like we were getting paid to do it. The reason you got invited.

Oh, that is the reason I got invited. He were the help. That's why I wore the flannel. So Papa Joe's, because I thought, If we're gonna have to be shoveling dirt on, I guess well, he dressed for the occasion. Oh, Papa Joe, we're still getting laughs on you. Yes, I'll get it. We've got a lot of people who are in the middle of the world. We've got a lot of people who are in the middle of the world. We've got a lot of people who are in the middle of the world.

We've got a lot of people who are in the middle of the world. We've got a lot of people who are in the middle of the world. We've got a lot of people who are in the middle of the world. We've got a lot of people who are in the middle of the world. We've got a lot of people who are in the middle of the world. We've had a couple of people who commute to work or they're truckers. We have a lot of trucker listeners. We have our polyamorous trucker listener that I just wrote. She sent the best text messages.

But there's a number of people who have said, I really wish there was an extra episode or two so that I could listen to it in the car or on my long drive or when I'm doing work or whatever it is, a couple warehouse workers have contacted us. And so you asked and we have delivered. And we have delivered. And you know, regarding some changes

in the podcast industry in general, we have the content, why not distribute it? I mean, you would think we would have the content as no indication by the last three weeks. So I'm just desperately had to get people in here to record. But I think it's good content. We've never said this content. We never claimed any of this is good. We are mediocre at best and we know it. And if you found your way here, we really thank you for listening. We're going to have guests, games, deep dives in the content right now.

I'm working on a Corey Feldman deep dive and I'm sure everyone's gonna. Next Jose. That guy is a hot fucking mess, Chrissy. That mean the two quarries always were. Unfortunately, one of them passed away. But I mean, and we'll get into this in the deep dive.

Yeah, he passed away and he passed away of a drug overdose. Both of them have claimed to be, have been molested. Well, actually Corey Feldman claimed that him and Corey Hayme were molested. And Cory Hayme, I think until the day he died, had said no, that I wasn't a part of that. But Cory Feldman has said, yes, he was. He just never wanted to admit it.

And he had drug problems. He died. But Cory Feldman has trucked on. And he has really carved out a niche for himself. In what I would call the comedy musical genre, I'm not even sure. What's going on? What's going to be a good. Chrissy people are going he's on tour right now. They are good. He's newly divorced from that angel that was you know the lady was playing. I'll get into it. But okay. He did

me a reality show for a minute. Two quarries was on to. And then he like seven years ago he appeared on Good Morning America for his new album and sang a song that went viral for every wrong reason. I mean it was comical, it was so funny because he was trying to be so sincerely authentic with his music and yet it was the most ridiculous thing anybody had ever heard and if you have eyes and could see then it was the most, it was the craziest thing I've ever seen on a stage a good morning America or anywhere. So now he's on this tour seven years later, playing this music live and every concert he goes to,

every concert he puts on is basically sold out on this last tour, but it's not sold out for any of the reasons he wants it to be sold out. He wants it to be sold out because everyone really enjoys the music. Sure. Everybody in the crowd comes to see what kind of comedy. Respectical.

Respectical, that is Cory Fulman. Hey, listen, anyway you can get it. I think a lot of people come to the commercial break for the same thing. I cannot believe this is an actual podcast, the broadcast. But I'm going to four days a week allows us to take a little bit more time with some of this content and really deep dive into it.

And I have a Corey Feldman deep dive that is coming that I think is just going to, it's going to, we'll be laughing for years to come. Okay. At Corey Feldman and his shenanigans. So stuff like that, we're going to change up some of the content, we'll open up our purview a little bit, be more of a timely podcast. And I really am excited about that.

I think it's going to be good for us and I think it's going to be good for the listeners. Part of the challenge in doing a show, we're 425 episodes in. I can't believe that. That's crazy. It's insane. And I actually ran this through an AI program. I ran through all of the episodes that are on the RSS feed and episodes that we've taken off the RSS feed, along with we've taken off the RSS feed

along with all those dumb after shows that we were doing Patreon episodes and Clubhouse Live episodes. I have run all of that through an AI and we have 802 hours of content in total for the commercial break. Can you believe that? 802 hours, 400 in some odd episodes in part of the challenge is keeping ourselves interested in what we're doing here on there. So not only are we making changes because we think it's just good to keep evolving,

but we're making changes quite frankly, I'm not fucking, I'm never bored when I'm here with you. And trust me, this last three weeks has made me, I just love you, give me a hug. No, I love you. I love you. I love you. I'm gonna cry. It's really hard to hug with a microphone. Yeah, no, because that's gonna take three years for me to put it back on. But I really love you, and I've really missed you greatly, and I enjoy this time so much, but I want to make sure that we continue to be interested in our own content. So again, breaking the fourth podcast wall,

letting everybody know what exactly is going on in my brain. And this is the fourth podcast wall, letting everybody know what exactly is going on in my brain. And this is not in the book, by the way. So you know it's going to happen. You know why? Because we didn't write it down anywhere. I don't think my son may have been drawing Mickey's in there or something. So I'll be surprised if you find a random Mickey mouse bed badly drawn in there. I love those. Four days a week, lots more changes and stuff to come that we're going to be discussing and I think these are all very exciting. Thank you to all the listeners who have stuck with us for so long.

Thank you to the new listeners who have just jumped on board. Yeah, we just, I can't believe even the small amount of success we've had. I can't believe it. It blows my mind every day and in an effort to keep everyone bouncing along and evolving four days a week and lots of changes coming to the content of the show. And one of the changes that's going to come, I should share this as another fourth wall. Part of the only way that we, the only way that we actually make any money on this show is by inserting advertisers into the show. We have talked about this previously. I'll repeat it.

Commercials into the commercial breaks. Yeah, commercials into the commercial breaks. Commercial breaks into the commercial breaks. Got it. Part of the, part of what we did earlier in the season was we broke one longer break into two shorter breaks. I remember that. It had been something that a couple of people had thought it would be good for the show, a couple of listeners, actually.

And I didn't agree with them at first, but now I agree with them. Two shorter commercial breaks rather than one very long commercial break right in the middle. So we're going to be taking two commercial breaks over the course of an hour or two an hour and 15 minutes worth of content. I know no one likes commercials. That's not something that I like or I enjoy, but our sponsors pay to be on the show. They're very generous to us.

They oftentimes give you free shit or discount codes. We never endorse something that we would not use ourselves or don't use ourselves, which is almost everything. So don't worry about say if someone pays us enough money, we'll not use ourselves or don't use ourselves, which is almost everything. So don't worry about, say, if someone pays us enough money, we'll definitely use it. Or at least try it. At least try it. Hey, try it once. Why not?

But the other thing is, even when you use those discount codes or you use those free Bs or whatever it is, the specialized URLs, that lets the sponsors know that we're actually doing the work and that you guys are responding. So, I know the commercial breaks can be annoying, but if you are so inclined to take a listen and you are so inclined to buy a sponsor's product or service, please do use those codes and those specialized URLs. It helps a great deal. You don't understand how much it helps. Because, you know, quite frankly, it's really hard to convince someone to be a sponsor on the commercial break. And the salespeople do a great job.

And we want them to know that they haven't made a big mistake by being on the commercial break. So, speaking of that commercial break, let's do that now. Let's take a short commercial break here, Chrissy. And we'll be back in just two and two. Yeah, yeah, Brian, we get it. But back to me. We'll be back in just two and two. Yeah, yeah, Brian, we get it. But back to me, I mean, this T-C-B promo. Leave us a voicemail at 626-ask-TCB3,

and you might just hear yourself on the show. Want a textus instead? Lucky for you, we also have a number just for that. Text us at 855-TCB-8383 and give us compliments. You can also always go to tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio and video. Find us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at tcbpodcast. And find us on youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited episodes. Now that that's done, let's listen to a few sponsors and get back to this episode

of the Commercial Break. Okay, back from the Break Chrissy, I have been dying to talk to you about a bunch of stuff because you haven't been here. We haven't had any discussion about it. Yes, I know, I'm excited. And I thought that we would start with clearly the most important story since you have been gone. And I don't even know if you're the most important story since you have been gone. And I don't even know if you're up on this. It's breaking news.

And I think we should let the audience know just like as a public safety announcement, more than anything. I don't know if you heard this, but an influencer named Alexis Earl has contracted an STD, a herpes, I think, a sort of herpes. And she contracted it from riding a mechanical bowl. Fake bowl herpes is what she got. She is claiming on her Instagram or on a live that she did. She is claiming that she rode a bowl, a mechanical bowl,

when she was in college wearing short shorts. And she rode that mechanical bowl, she's claiming 15 to 20 times in one night, and then woke up the next day with an STD. Now, I say this as a public safety announcement for two reasons. Number one, I might be calling bullshit on this one. Number one. Number two, is it really that easy to get an STD?

Is it really that easy? Like all you have to do is wear short shorts and slide yourself across a plastic surface. No, of course not. You know how they used to like, first of all, and then second of all, why are you riding at 15 to 20 times in one night? Let's start, you know.

She said she got crazy and she loved it so much. But yeah, I think she was riding something. I'm not no shorts on. I think she was riding something. I'm not sure it was a mechanical bull, right? I have written a mechanical bull. I did not get an STD. Of course, I'm not one to wear short shorts.

Not now. And I think all the hair around my balls and, and genital area would probably, that's a defense against STDs. It's hard to get an STD on. A few of you care. But also, I have known so many people that have written mechanicalDs. It's hard to get an STD on pubic hair. But also, I have known so many people that have ridden mechanical bulls. I have never heard this not once in my life,

never heard it. But she claims that other people have come up to her and said, yes, I have gotten an STD from riding a mechanical bull. Does this sound? That's what the last guy that our girl that they slept with told them. I didn't give it to you.

Remember when you riding a mechanical bull? Hey girl, sorry about that bad case of oozing chlamydia I gave you, but it wasn't me. It wasn't me. It was the church seats. You just don't clean them enough. I don't know if you know, but I got COVID as a dick. I got dick COVID for certain in those seats. You know how many of our parishioners have gotten nasty, SDDs just sitting in those church seats, people be nasty, they nasty. I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go put some on my,

you're a person on my cream on my green oozes. I don't know if I believe this. You know, it's like when you were in high school. I mean, that's very, very, very hard. Listen, I'm not saying it can't happen. I imagine that it can. If someone is like oozing juices out everywhere, and then you do it rightfully after,

get up there and suck up some of those juices. But I think you would have to be not wearing underwear in order to get an STD in your act. But I don't know. You mean, you know who we need? Dr. Sin would answer this question. We do need Dr. Sin. Yeah, we need an actual medical professional. I think that it is possible to transmit a disease from a surface into a vagina, right?

A vagina is open. But remember, we were in high school and they told you all those stories or they would share with you. Yeah, it's like urban legend type stuff. Yeah, it's not true. It's not true. I remember that the guy who taught us sex ed, the soccer coach. It didn't want to teach it.

It didn't want to teach anything about sex ed. You have a dick. They have a vagina. You got it? All right. It goes like that. Like that. Now let's go outside and hit some soccer balls.

Come on, kid. Windsprints for everybody. That was gone sight and hit some soccer balls. Come on, kid. Windsprints for everybody. I remember that he told us specifically in that class that there was an urban legend that you could get an STD from sitting on a dirty toilet seat. And he explained that that was in fact just an urban legend. I mean, the only thing that he taught us

and it was probably medically and factually true is that it's really hard to contract an STD from a toilet seat. So if it's hard to contract from a toilet seat where you are clearly derrobed, disrobed, how hard is it got to be to do that when you actually have clothes on? STDs don't run through jeans or panties because if they did, I would have caught a lot of them when I turned my dry, pumping face. That's right. I still say bring dry, pumping them when I turned my dry-humping face. That's right. I still say bring dry-humping back.

I still say bring dry-humping back. I told the athlete, I was like, hey honey, we've got a good dry-hump, that she's like, what? And I'm like, a good dry-hump. She's like, do you think women actually like that? And I was like, I thought it was hot. And she's like, hot to have your, the zipper of your jeans stuck on my clitoris,

moving back and forth rapidly. Is sandpaper hot? Do you see me rubbing up and down the stick shift of the car? No, you dumbass. It's not I want orgasm happened. But I'm so good at dry-humping. Well then get good at actual humping and then we can do that. I ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What are you five? I need to buy you a pocket pussy. No, my God. Back to this poor girl. I don't know. This just doesn't sound true.

And I don't think that do STDs present themselves less than 24 hours after you get them? I don't know because I don't have any. I have neither. No. And there's no shame. Nobody should be shame. Oh, no, God no, no, no, no.

Having it, it happens. Of course. But yeah, it's very, very hard. I mean, I remember reading all of those, you know, doctors, I mean, I grew up in the edge of magazines. Yeah. There used to be lots and lots of magazines. Watch the, yeah.

Now there are anything's online, but you know, you would read the Cosmos and the, the, the set that there's tons of women, women magazines out there that would debunk this kind of thing. Totally. I mean, it's not, it's not a thing. I read, uh, what was that one that my mom got? Uh, got it, got it. Can't remember. Home in garden or something like that. I would read home in garden and I would read the, the Cosmos my mom would get Cosmos to and I would read the cosmos. My mom would get cosmos too and I would read the articles in the Ecclamer, all the more, all those magazines.

And they did, they were filled with fun facts in their back in the time. It was hard to get fun facts, right? And it's about sex. Yeah, about sex. And that was why I was reading it. I was trying to get, I was trying to get, get some inside information.

It's being kind of information. Yeah, maybe that's why I was friends with so many women. I don't know how Coleman Garden was the right place to be put in, but. Oh my God. My mom used to belong to this. Oh, we should ask my mom about this. We should, okay, next episode we're calling my mom.

And don't forget, because we do have some ask Brian's mom's too. Next episode we're gonna call my mom. And I wanna talk about her brief stint in an MLM company called Piccadilly or Piccadilly. She used to sell these knickknacks, like that were featured in home in garden. And these knickknacks were then sold by this MLM company. I remember my mom having these parties,

and it would be like a tweed, a fake tweed horse that you would put on your shelf. Do you know what I'm saying? Or like a wicker basket. Nicknacks. Or the highly offensive and absolutely racist pickin' innings that used to go around. Remember those things?

Yeah. And my mom was, and I don't think my mom even understood what that was, but she would be selling these knickknacks out of a box. And I don't know who made money doing this, but it was just terribly awful. But she found this, yeah, the people at the top, of course, because that's who makes money on the MLM.

But she found this through that Cosmo magazine, but Cosmo used a debunk shit like this because clearly and evidently, it's not true. Now, again, no shaming on the STD. I know lots of people who have had or who have STD. Quite frankly, I'm kind of surprised at one thing about our current culture. And that is, it is so destigmatized,

at least in my circle of friends, that people have talked about it openly like at a dinner party or something. Yeah, I have herpes or, oh yeah, I got, you know, Climidia back when I was when I was a teenager when I was a teenager It was it would have been like death yeah to get an STD or talk about it out loud You mine as well of put yourself in I'll never forget you were scorned So I have this I had this group of friends when I was like in my 20s

Led by this girl will call meela. Let's call her Michaela Michaela and I Michaela was a friend of a girl that I was dating and Michaela and I became friends Outside of the relationship that I had with her friends. So now we're buddy buddy And then there's like a four-year absence where I don't see her and when I pick back up the friendship It's like I'm 22 years old. And this girl was wild. I mean, she was wild and she was sexy and she was free

and she was confident and she owned herself. She was a woman. Still at that age where I was scared of pussy. So, but we weren't in a relationship. But I just remember there were times where like I would go over to have a beer at her house And she would get out of the shower with like the towel around her waist But not a towel on her top. You know what I'm saying? She had her nipples pierced. I thought she was just like the coolest girl

Of course So I meet so then another so then something happens life changes life happens She moves whatever another 15 years goes by and I meet her again randomly at the Steem House lounge oyster. Oh, the one that we went to. The one that we went to. Do you remember that I met up with this group of people

that I hadn't seen in many years? Yes. So she's now married and this is the same girl that I went to that wedding with where I was cleaning up the beach and her husband came charging in a golf car to beat me up because I was cleaning the beach with her wife. Well, I mean, and now that I'm saying it like that, it actually does sound kind of fucked up. Somebody was cleaning the beach with my wife at 4 in the morning.

I might be mad too. Exactly. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Oh

Oh Stun Oh Stun Over here cleaning the beach What are you doing oh? Just try Humphid. Oh sorry man. I'm just down here dry hump in the sand That's my wife. She's' the sand. That's my wife! She's in the sand?

That no idea. Hey, dry-humpin''s with clothes on. I'm sorry, dude. Just had to clean the beach. You know, before the sun rose and everything. Okay, I'm gonna go back to the room, talk to you later. Don't beat me up, I promise I wasn't porkin' your wife. I gotta go, bye!

So anyway, so I meet Michaela years later and she invites and after we become fast friends again after the meeting at this festival, a couple of weeks after that, she invites me to come down to the North Side Tavern, the famed North Side Tavern here in the North Side Tavern. The divest of dive bars, absolute epitome of a blues joint yeah in the smack that in the night. Oh, you can't not have a fun it's world famous air clap then is so many people have played there. So we're at the north side to have her late at night. Everyone's drinking having a good time. We're outside smoking cigarettes and in walks one of her friends and I don't know this is like a new friend of hers and This girl is gorgeous and instantaneously the two of us are kind of on top of each other right flirting and you know touching each other

I'm anytime many time here. I'm the yours Usually ends and Brian's Ryan, we're Ryan. Oh, there he is. It's got his tongue down. Somebody's gonna put the bartender. Yeah. Okay. It's not bartender supposed to be working.

This is why I can't get a drink. Brian's over there. Telling her some wild story. Catching kangaroos with his bare hands and Australia or something. I'm a crocodile hunter. I'm a crocodile hunter and I want to catch your squid. You know what I'm talking about?

So I'm talking to this girl. So anyway, Michaela, so let's imagine that I'm sitting here, the girl sitting across the table from me and then Michaela walks behind the girl and she's giving me this whole number. She's crossing her hands. She's like weaving her hands. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, no, she's off limits. Yeah, she's dangerous. She's dangerous. By the way, and I will share this, and I don't know if I've shared this,

and only a few people are gonna be able to put two and two together. The girl that I am sitting across from is the girl who's wedding I was at. And I didn't, but at that time they were not engaged. They hadn't even started dating, just to be clear. Okay. So, Mikaela's doing this whole number

and I'm like, I just don't understand, I don't understand. So then, Mikaela's husband, who I'm just becoming friends with at that point, he walks by and he's like, Oh, dude, dude, dude. He starts pointing at his crotch, right? And he's like, he's making this weird creeped out and he keeps pointing to his crotch and he's like,

ah, ah, and I'm like, what the fuck? Is she ever got to octopus vagina? What are you doing back then? But then after a couple of minutes I forget about him, he moves on. So then this girl goes to the bathroom. Michaela and her husband come rushing toward me and they go, don't do it, man.

Do what? Don't fuck this girl. Why would I fuck this girl? I'm just talking to her everywhere. Though, Norse, I tavern, I'm not gonna fuck her. Dude, she's got herpes, chlamydia, and syphilis. And I'm like, she's got herpes, chlamydia, and syphilis. All three.

She's a walking toxic Avenger. What are you talking about? I was just even possible. But at that moment, in time, I had to calculate to myself. I'm like, okay, hot girl clearly is giving me the signals that she's into me and I'm into her. Or advice from these people that I've only known for 38 years on whether or not her vagina is toxic.

And I made the calculated decision to not sleep with her because I was so worried about an STD. But now in 2023, I think there's just so much more information. There's so much more understanding. People get it. It's like, an STD is not the end of the world. It doesn't mean you have to go crawl into a hole and have to sleep then.

Also most can be treated very easily. Most can be, I think all STDs can be treated, right? I think so. I mean, in some way, herpes doesn't ever actually go away, but there's ways to control it. But so many people carry that virus anyway. It's like a virus you can carry.

It's a massive cold source. Yeah, cold source. And you drink after somebody who's got a cold source. I mean, like that herpes virus, which is the same virus that gives you chickenpox, by the way, or the measles, or shingles, or whatever it is. The herpes virus is fairly common in human beings. And so, yes, do you want it? No, you do not.

Can it be treated? Yes, it can when you have flare-ups. Clamydia can be treated. Cifolis can be treated. I have had all of these treated, and I'm going to tell you right now. It worked. Everything works out just fine. You still have an actual sex life as long as you're into dry-humping. It's all good. Now it's all becoming clear to dry-hump. If you are not

able to. I'm into fucking mechanical bowls, you're gonna be just fine. Yeah, let's give it in mechanical bowls a bad name. It really is. Now I think everybody's gonna be scared. I was never good at the mechanical bowl anyway I don't know what it was. Remember that one time we tried to ride a mechanical bowl you and I I know and I always thought I would be like Debra Winger and you know urban cowboy or something But when I actually got You know slow old slow sexy rod of the bowl but now when I actually I got fell off really quickly like slammed my face into that pillow Chrissy leather pillow is my thing Chrissy I can't laugh it because I remember when you

rolled that mechanical ball at that Ferris wheel festival we went to. And I lasted the last time that you did on that mechanical ball. But your ride was quite the adventure. You were like a raggedy end all on top of there. Until you just flew off to the side. I remember thinking that was so funny. I was like, well, okay, I'm not trying that again. Listen, I think you derived a mechanical ball,

you gotta have those Latin hips, right? You gotta be able to move your hip, like do a leap or something like that. You can't just sit on it straight, like I thought. You can just sit on it straight and hold on real tight. I know. Well, you see other people do it, you're like, I, in your head, I like this.

Yeah, you're like, I got this, and I can do better than they just did. But when you actually other people do it. You're like, I, in your head, I like this. Yeah, you're like, I got this. And I can do better than they just did. But when you actually get up on it, that's right. It's a whole different animal. No pun intended. It is not as easy as some people make it look. And I don't understand how,

I've written a mechanical bowl. Let's call it five times in my life. And each time worse than the last. Because I think if I just stiffen up and hold on tight, then I'm gonna be just fine. And you're right about this. The first time I got on a mechanical bowl, I'm like, well, if Schnitzel tits over there can do it.

I got this. That guy is a dickhead. He's got a broken hip. He did it for five seconds. I don't last half a second. The first jerk and I'm like, what? I just fall over sideways. It's so stupid.

We should ride a mechanical bow and put that on instinct. Where's the local mechanical bow? There's gotta be some something up there and going at cowboys, cowboys, canisol. Yeah, the canisol. World's largest honky-tonk bar. Isn't that the world's largest honky-tonk bar, Kyle Boeys or something like that? It's gotta be a bigger one in Texas. I got to. For sure. Okay, so I have a Chrissy, you're back,

and I'm so excited about this. It's Halloween time. It's October, getting toward the end of October. Oh. And I got so excited. So I was fiddling around. I wanted to do something special, so it ease you back into the daily routine

of putting out mediocre content. And what I felt was, I had to say, I had three things going on in my mind. We could do Theresa Caputo, right? But we did that recently. Yeah, we did. We could do ghost hunters, which I love, but ghost hunters, it's hard to sometimes find

suitable content for ghost hunters because a lot of times they're just, what? Yeah. Wow. What are you saying? Ghost Hunters, it's hard to sometimes find suitable content for Ghost Hunters because a lot of times they're just... What? Yeah. Ah! Wow! What are you saying?

Are you saying that someone got murdered right here? Right here? Two children? We missed that. The research. I didn't even realize. I thought this was a new build. It's not under contract.

No. I thought this was a new build. It's not under contract. No, 14 people were massacred in here by a knife wielding man with a mask. Oh shit, no wonder all those noises are covered. That guy was so clueless. The worst goes hunter ever. He hadn't even figured out. He hadn't even done enough research on the haunted house to figure out people had died there.

Small child had jumped out the window or something. He was like, no, really? Why do you think it's haunted? Ah, I don't know. Said haunted on Google. I figured I'd come by and take a look. But I've settled on something that we all know and we all love. and that's mountain monsters. Mountain monsters.

And more two ways that was going to go. There was two ways that was going to go. Frankie. More mountain monsters. Yes, but I think we could find a way to fit Frankie into the Halloween theme, but I decided to go straight for mountain monsters. And little did I know that the mountain monsters, you know, they're like a catching bigfoot type of show, right?

And but we've never seen them try and hunt down actual bigfoot until now I found an episode where they are actually trying to hunt down bigfoot. Would you like to take a watch? I would love to. Okay, let's do that. We'll take a short break and then we'll be back with Mountain Monsters. Okay podcast besties, time for one more quick break and then it's back to the drama.

Check out tcbpodcast.com for all of our episodes and youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited video episodes. Find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course if you want to get in touch with us, which like, of course you do, leave us a voicemail at 626, ask TCB3 or text us at 855, TCB, 8383. Now let's listen to some sponsors and get this show going. get the show going. Okay, Chrissy, I was trolling on the internet. As you do.

As I do like to do, my friend, so glad to have you back in the studio. I got a special reward for you. I've got mountain monsters on deck. These boys, the boys are back, and they're chasing big foot this time. So let's take Yonder. And let's get right into it.

If you're just scrolling across, I can see that this is going to be a fantastic episode. Bigfoot are bust as the name of the episode by the way. Welcome to Wild Bill Squat Watch. That's the largest cowboy bar. That is the largest cowboy. Bigfoot Squat Watch. Squat watch. That's the largest cowboy bar. That is the largest cowboy. Bigfoot Squatch watch. Squatch. Squatch watch, honk, honk, honk.

This is our good boy Billy. I think it's Billy, right? This is... Oh, Billy's the camera guy. Oh, who's this guy? What's his name? I don't know. Scott Bob, John, whatever.

Wild Bill. Wild Bill, that's right. Okay, so Wild Bill is the guy who's constantly screaming in the microphone. He's like the Mount Monster version of Brian. I hate you. 1700 hours, no signing a squat. Today, I'm trying to make my people so long. Okay, he's...

1700 hours, I'm gonna do a little quick math right now. No, I think he meant that's like military time. Oh He'd been on squash watch I've been here for Still haven't gotten a shit break They told me to tell you to stay right there pretty soon. That's quite just gonna come running back. For big puts area. Where you at Mr. Bigfoot?

I was going to trap his journal and saw a section called Recon. The sexin. It's all a sexin. Where is that big foot of yonder? What's he gone? There he is. It's all about scouting your hunting area. Look at how I try that technique out here on the old squash in Taggart Valley.

I'll figure it out that time. Taggart Valley gets just 17 on how to do that. Take a poop. I'm a world's most foreign most scantologist. It's only a chipmunk. One thing I love doing when I'm looking for squash is trying out new coal master baiting Get tensioned is all weird first stuff or who now You teach it. I mean is that what you think bigfoot hunting is who to house?

Yeah, I think I think And silly they know how to get away from yeah, called blind You finally meet a Skaskwodge and it's like hey guys That does not you do not sound like a sass squad. It's my voice, I don't know. I got a really tall, but a super small voice. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Gawdch!

I do all different types. Bird calls. Buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz, buz. What kind of bird does that kind of noise? I don't know, I haven't heard that one. He's making noise He totally is Hill I even tried don't he Mr. He honk

Oh wow, Bill. I think this is so funny. He He honk he honk Wow, bro. Ha ha ha. I think this is so funny. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he I tell you who's not gonna stay hidden in those forests is him yelling and screaming like this like a fucking fool It's not very good of being To usually doing stuff at night well, I mean Sasquatch is different. Yeah, I don't know the squash watch all are did you see recently they had a pic They found a video of what they think is a Sasquatch. No. Yeah, it doesn't look real. They can't resist. I have a cutting edge idea. Check yourself. I'm going to eat just like Mr. Bigfoot,

so I can get right in the same frame of mine he is. Okay, guys, here's where we have the Advatorial placement of the Slim Jim. Now you're going to snap into the Slim Jim, okay? It's required by our sponsor. Ha, ha, ha. Give it. He's snack. He's got a snack. He's going to snap into the slim gym, okay? It's required by our sponsor. Give it. He's snack. He's got a snack.

He's going to eat like saskwatch. So we can smell like saskwatch. You can take a dump like saskwatch. It's a scientific proof that Bigfoot loved jerky. You ever seen commercials? They're eating it all the time. Everybody knows. You see the guys in the story room like the other doors like, okay, now we need a little levity.

Let's just have Wild Bill opine on what exactly a Skaskwatch eats for five to ten minutes and I'll have done putting that funny music. A big putty jerky. It's a side-tipping pie. How do you disagree with science? It's a real hard to eat. This is just one good thing. Wait. It's a little hard to eat with that one good, too.

I'm saying the lean all for this. My diet is gonna be like Mr. Big Butts. That was down the squash jerky. Here's what I got. As if he wasn't hard enough to understay. Why? Yeah, I still like give why you're eating like you think Sasquatch eats. Well, clearly, he want to see birds. You just nibble in a little bird seed. Just take a bird. Eat off his head, just bite off its head.

I, what I'm not, I'm imagining someone at home that's actually finding this funny, right? And not in like a satirical way, but actually think, I gotta come in here, he's eating jerky like the sassclotch on the tail of it. You know those commercials where the sassclotch eats the beef jerky? It's so funny! Sorry I'm on the phone with the divorce attorney!

Yeah, exactly. Hey brother! Get on squat soda and better this one. Squats. Oh my god this soda and has a piece of electrical tape covering up the Coca-Cola logo. Because the big-foot enterprises or whatever owns this television show can afford to show the Coca-Cola can and Coca-Cola did not approve. No.

A billy, wild bill, endorsing Coca-Cola. these four by fours, looks like he's taking a dump. His legs are wide open. His gut is just hanging out. He's one of these guys who wears jeans that are tight fit. He's a typical like white male build when they get into their 50s and they've just like not paid attention to their diet too much, which is you have a tiny little lower body and then you've got this gut that just hangs directly over your belt. But there are some guys who tuck their t-shirts in and then cinch the belt as tight as it good. So they can let people know they have a tiny little waist, but a muffin top hanging out all over the place. He just looks like an odd human being. The reconfor-reconnaissance, a French word, like French fries.

No, it's time. Come on. Hey guys, I got new, I got word from the director. He wants you to shut the fuck up. Is that possible? 1723. Snack break. Okay. Okay. Is that possible? 1723, Snack Break.

He's actually writing down what time he's taking the snack break. Yeah, he's noting now. Yeah, he's counting how much time it takes to get from his mouth to his anus. Uh-oh, the tone of the music is turning serious, Chrissy. Yep. You hear that? What the hell is it? It's me turning up the noise on the speakers to make it sound more dramatic. What the hell is that? This noise on your shirt sounds like a struggle with that poem right there, where Huck, Wheel and Jeff say.

I dance the house down the stairs, they say the beat, Wheel and Jeff's beat. Yeah, I'm very beat. You can tell out of here. I don't know what the hell it is. Let's get the hell out of here. I know, I thought he was... I know what the kids are trying to find him. Sound like a rumble.

Plenty of scum. That's a good point to make. Sometimes they're tracking something. I thought he was, I never thought he was trying to find him. It sound like a rumble. Finally it's coming. That's a good point to make. Sometimes they're tracking something and they chase after him when no logical human being would ever go into the mouth of danger. But a lot of times they get the hell out of there. I thought that's what you're there for.

Fowler, let's go get in here. It's like, vibrate. F***** to get the hell over here. Come on, I need to hold this over there and meet up with these guys. Damn, the hell what the hell over here. Come on, I need to hold this over there and meet up with these guys. Damn, the hell what the hell was that? We need to figure out what tell us though is is and where it's coming from.

And then by where they grow. I gotta get another mouth reload. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that Chris the Christmas I'm gonna go scrape my glass pipe out and get the residue His eyes are bugged out. Oh dude crazy Will believes the noise he heard is coming from a nearby farm where this team is stationed Yeah, cuz of farms not gonna make any additional noises. We gotta find out where the hell this noise is coming from. So, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ran over a rooster. Did he run over that boar rooster? He came close he did. I think I got out of the way. Oh, he hit the rooster. You fucker. It's like, what?

Baaah! Baaah! We got to find out where the hell no one's coming from. Might have something to do with all these dead chickens. All these gravely injured chickens. I can't stop laughing. Oh my god. No! That's the only creature I've ever caught. I was thinking the same thing.

It was that poor rooster. Like they have never seen. Take that rooster! Oh, he come to snuff the rooster! Where the hell? Yeah, we heard it. He come to snuff the rooster We heard it while Bill like he's addressed like a woman Is he not he's got the tightest of tight jeans on and a t-shirt that couldn't Handle one more inch of his stomach. He's got a man purse on and he's running with his legs wide open

I don't squat your standard skirt that live in Out of me that come from right over there by that big Northern Redo great there Jeff william me But how do you identify what kind of? There's our man there's Huckleberry. This is number three. Yes I swear to God this Huckleberry changes every couple episodes We was out here on this farm for the first time today. We just got permission to be here. This is a shortcut over to that log. And then all of a sudden, it was like the earth just erupted.

How do you imagine they got permission to be there? Knock, knock, knock. Yeah. By the way, this is the same farm that they have used 30 times. They just keep on getting different angles, but you can tell it's the same farm. Go way or I'll shoot your dick off. It's my walk meal. I've done kill the couple roosters.

I got to take a shit real bad to definitely wrong beef turkey and drinking non-descript soda. take a shit real bad since I'm eating raw beef turkey and drinking non-descript soda. Please, I got the runs banned. Do we have permission? Do we have permission to shit on your farm? All right, fine, but do it with all the other chickens. Well, they have too many more chickens and laughs. You're paying for every single one of those dead roosters. They're blasting down in the mind. They're blasting down in the minds.

That's probably what's his name. That's my old bill. Take a shot. No, the other one. What's his name? Oh, yeah, Bill. They're all, Bill. They're all named Bill. I can't figure him out.

He's probably dropping a doose. 1700 hours out. 30-hour house. Yeah, 1700 hours out on that forest. You kind of believe yourself, some for me. Poor your service. Yeah, that's what I put it in the mind of. It sounded like the devil was down there using his am.

Check this out. Listen to that right there. Yeah. Yeah. As if that's an out of noise that's put into the videofine. It's clearly dubbed, clearly. Damn. Look at them cows.

It's got them all piled up now. Damn. Damn. They're the ones that, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're laying on the ground. And if the cows were riled up, it's probably because there's some wild man going and screaming, running over all the farm animals with his four bike floor. It's a dead son of a, that's where she come from right there. Hold up, guys. We name our sounds around here with female gender names. That's where she came from. When you say we weapon up, head right on over there.

Yeah, let's do it, guys. What do you say we get our bazooka's and go over there? Let's get a say that baby guy. I know. What do you say we get our red, red, red, brighter air rifle? And get over there and shoot some babies in that sass, watch out. Leap it up. Hello, shouldn't be brief for after.

Keep your eyes off for any kind of time. It's starting to get a little bit dark. We're gonna keep our day in my eyes open. What your eyes aren't ever closing. I don't know what to do. I haven't seen him blink since we've ever watched the show. I've never seen the guy blink. So either he's got a bad crystal meth habit.

The doctor is filling him full ADHD medication. Or he's just naturally wired. I got B on our A game. Piano beat. These squats. I got data on playing around, mister. He doesn squats, I got data on playing around, mister. He should've done some... I got data on playing around, mister.

Don't rip your head right off. They'll take your dick and they'll eat it. Stay ready, guys. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Wow. It's just a tree that's building up. I know and they're playing a Dizary Dew in the back. As if a Dizary Dew came from South Carolina. South Kackalaki. Last night, we'll do this in here. Whatever took off, come out of the lower side.

You and Bill got on the upper side. Man, Jeff will go to the lower. You're sort of... You and you and Bill go the upper side and then you have to go to the lower What's the lower side and what's the upper side of a fallen tree? Because it's laying flat now you see what I'm saying Can you draw a map can we stop for one second just get this correct we just spotted that log it's about 30 40 yards up here it is you might be a damn squatchupur you're damn right

we don't know if that one guy's carrying what looks to be a 9 mm or a water gun yeah or one of those realistic water guns big puts up burr not there's only one way to find out you want to sneak up burr, not. There's only one way to find out. You wanna sneak up burr? Shoot it. You will can't lay eyes on this tan, big f***ery monster.

You go up high. Yeah, I'll do it. And then we'll shoot each other. Ha ha ha ha. This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. What you can't see is that there's a tree that's felt. It's a fallen tree, and now he's playing. It's uprooted.

Yeah, it's uprooted. So one of them is gonna go on top of the tree and the other one is gonna go to the other side and go under the tree. They're both carrying firearms, by the way. And they're gonna point at each other in the middle. This happens a lot on this show I've noticed. Go ahead, I'll cover you.

Cover me. Cover me. What the hell? What the hell was that? Son of a f**k, I musta ran out of there and it was busted. It was probably the hood owl. That's right, there's a pack of wild pigeons that flew this direction when you started making calls.

Is either that? It's either that or it's my brand new drone that I got. Look at these herald footage guys It's I show nothing. There's nothing. They'll see no big foot. You see a willy. No, I can see What the hell was it as big as hell? Alright Bill keep working up around easy doesn't now easy Keep your eyes peeled easy doesn't easy does it If I'm in an emergency situation and anybody says the words easy does it they're off my team, you go feed yourself to the Sasquatch, I don't have anything to do

with you. Easy does nothing in an emergency situation. First day ready. Strong easy brother. Where the hell did he go? Strong easy brother. Where the hell did he go? Shlone easy brother. I got you covered, keep working yourself up. Keep whatever the hell it was, I was up here on the set. I got you covered, I'm pointing the gun directly after him.

I don't think that's what he meant by covered. What the hell we got here? We got a big cable laying right here. Look back here, well, they're damn things connected around this thing. Bigfoot installs electrical equipment for the local electric company. Who knew? They literally found a downed power line in the middle of the woods Damn that's something that's been there for a while man Wild Bill just made it to end of that log and there's a big cable sent stuff around the top of it got this log all squeezed down

Bedded into the bark my things in bedded in there. Holy You don't think that might have been used to take down the tree things embedded in there. Holy f***. You don't think that might have been used to take down the tree, dude. You don't think like a truck might have come in here and taken down that tree because it was dead. They needed wood. They were just having fun. Nope. It was sasscotch for sure. We start falling into that cable out and right there was something all freed out and broke off. that cable out and right there was something all freed out and broke off. Whatever snapped off this cable had to have some force on it. Look at this trail. Like a sand squadges. Cal killing bastard. Cal killing bastard.

Cal killing bastard is something that we've already seen. But however, just like every other episode of the mountain monsters they didn't you didn't catch anybody they were close though they saw shaking leaves I don't know shaking leave could have been the wind luckily was a sandstorm evidence scientific evidence oh my, I love those guys so much. I cannot watch an episode of that and take it seriously. I just can't. But what keeps on going through my mind is I try and put myself in the, like literally the couch of someone who's watching this,

taking any of it seriously. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe someone would take that seriously. But you know what, to each their own, and we do love the mountain monsters. All of them that good fun. I mean they get close. They do get awful close. They did find that frayed 5 and a half inch electrical power line. And the rooster.

And the rooster. By the way, the rooster was fine. It walked away. I don't AARGH! AARGH! Cough it up! Oh! By the way, the rooster was fine. It walked away. I don't want anybody to think we're laughing at the rooster's death. That would have been funny, nonetheless. It's a rooster.

Come on. Oh, sentient life is sentient life. Oh my god. Too much fun. Alright, well listen. Let me remind you, the commercial break going to four days a week now So make sure you're subscribed or following us or whatever it is wherever it is you're listening Whatever it is you do to get the commercial break

Please do us a favor and make sure you're following or subscribe to us So you get every episode of the commercial break. We certainly would appreciate it and And next episode we're gonna bring on my mom for sure every episode of the commercial break, we certainly would appreciate it. And, and. Next episode we're gonna bring on my mom, for sure. So get excited. Brian's mom's coming back. We have a few Ask Brian's moms. We're gonna talk to my mom about her MLM experience

and we're gonna discuss the lady who had her tongue replaced by her leg. Just save that. Just save it. Don't even ask me. I don't want you to do it. It's gonna be funny. I'll marinate on that.

My mom told this story last night at her birthday party in Chrissy, I could have peed myself. Alright, tcbpodcast.com, that's all the audio, all the video right there from one location, you can get your piggy-pronting sticker by Teresa Caputo or of Teresa Caputo, you can get that on the website, hit the contact us button 626, ask tcb3, that's 1a626, ask tcb, the number 3 questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. Chrissy it's so good to have you back, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. Okay so I already said I love you, so now I'll say a best to you, and best to you out there in the podcast universe, until next time, Chrissy and I do say, we always say and we must say.

Good bye! I'll be there for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you, for you So