The Commercial Break - Build-A-Girlfriend?
Episode Date: December 26, 2023Bryan & Christina go down the rabbit hole with Senate twinks, sex dolls, and the (Bryan's pronuncation) EUNUCH MAKER! Christina’s staying far away from Bryan’s petri dish Bryan self diagnoses… ...Everything is poison! We’re spending our lives on digital devices We are runners! Christina’s hot takes on billionaires The twink in the senate! A career pivot? Are sex dolls giving weighted blanket? A message from our sex dolls Thanks again, Bryan! Remember to clean me! Take the eyes out The most horrifying story of 2023 EUNUCH MAKER! Men’s pain isn’t real! Birth? It’s whatever The womb of womanhood! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Bill Clinton can jerk one out in a government building, but when the rest of us do it, it's a problem.
We should all have the right to bang one out in a government building and you could quote me on that.
On this episode of the commercial break, you get a little recorder like the ones they put in like build a bearer
You get a little recorder like the ones they put in like build a bearers. And you're like, great job, Christina.
I love you so much.
And then you put it in and you press this little button and you can spoon it night and
you're like, oh, I'm the best.
I love this for me.
Your dick is the best Brian.
Thanks again for fucking me so hard.
You almost knocked my fake pussy out.
Goodnight, Cleedy.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
The 30-in-a-Mona!
Yeah, Kazakhstan's welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.
This is the chairman of risen and risen.
Christina, best of you, Christina.
Best of you, Brian.
Best of you out there in the Bad Guaz universe.
Christina coming to us virtually,
as my house has turned into the Petri dish
that I should have expected.
Bar.
Yeah, bar, indeed.
The Petri dish that comes every winter,
as soon as you close the doors and it gets cold outside,
this place becomes a toxic wasteland of shit, pee, poop, snot.
Christina, you want no part of this? You want no part of this? I'm telling you right now.
There's no amount of lice all in the intake here. I'm going to buy stock and lice all is what I'm
going to do, because we have been lice all in the shit out of everything. But all the kids are sick,
because that is exactly what happens around the holidays of vacation or anytime something important comes up,
all of our children just they just get sick.
And I mean, I guess the most parents experience
in some way shape or form.
But you know, like when I was single,
I would get sick.
Well, when I was a smoker, I'd get sick off
and I get a bad sinus infection every year
and then I'd definitely get an upper respiratory infection.
Yeah, it was a different time back then.
We all smoked.
We all like so much. Okay. Yeah, it was a different time back then. We all smoked.
We all like cigarettes.
Okay.
Have you ever smoked a cigarette?
No.
No, you've never smoked a cigarette.
Never have.
Do you have friends that smoke cigarettes?
Yes.
Yeah, you do?
Okay.
All right, so it's still there.
It's out there on the ethos.
A couple of friends like smoke, but then most of my friends are more like the drinking kind
of smoker, which I'm like gross.
Like, I'll tell you this.
Okay.
Get out of this.
One time, morning after a night out, I was with the guy I was seeing at the time and I
wasn't feeling so hot in the morning, but I wasn't really sure how bad it was.
I was thinking over. And I like, we like turned over, he kissed me,
and then I went, and I went, I know I didn't puke,
I gasped, and then I sprinted to the bathroom and barfed.
Oh, because of the smell.
Because of the taste of the cigarette.
Yeah.
And yeah, and so that started like the worst,
one of the worst hangover days of my life.
As an OCD guy, like as a guy who probably
is the touch of the obsessive, right?
Cleanliness is super important to me.
It's like two showers a day, shave all the time.
I mean, I'm just like, I don't like certain smells
or dirt or anything really on my body.
I think that makes you just a personality snuggler
and does not diagnose you with OCD.
But yeah, let's not go self-diagnosing ourselves.
Let's not be, what did the guy,
I read this article yesterday and the guy said,
a nurse, narcissistic spiritual leader.
Like, let me not self-diagnose.
But I think you're right.
I think I'm a bit personality, a lot of personality. Let's just call it like I see it. I'm really personal. Youagnosed. But I think you're right. I think I'm a bit personic, a lot personic,
let's just call it like I see it.
It's a really personal.
You're just a personic, it is nozzler.
So when I smoked cigarettes,
I would purposefully smoke cigarettes
in a manner that I knew would cut down
on the amount of cigarette smell
that would be on my clothing.
So I'd always smoked down draft,
or I'd smoke outside with a,
I never wanted that hanging cigarette smoke smell
that you often find on like true cigarette smokers.
I never would have these smokers.
But the drinking and the cigarettes
is the thing that kill me is why I stopped drinking
is because I knew that if I continued to drink,
I would never stop smoking cigarettes.
It would never happen because beer and cigarettes went hand in hand for me.
And I couldn't do one without the other.
But when I smoked, I was sick.
It was disgusting.
It was disgusting.
But I guess a little feather in my cap,
acid has never smoked a cigarette in her life either.
And she hates the smell of cigarette smoke.
But she told me, or she tells me,
or maybe this is just her make-and-me feel better, she would always say, you don smell of cigarette smoke. But she told me, or she tells me, or maybe this is just her make it me feel better,
she would always say, you don't smell like smoke.
Like you don't smell like smoke, you take care
to make sure that you have something mint or something.
She's like, you never really smelled like a smoker.
I think she's just trying to let you feel good.
I can't believe she started dating you
while you were a smoker.
She did, she.
That's crazy to me.
Listen, the hot ones with the hot ones,
it is what it is.
I suppose so.
Yeah.
And, but when I was a cigarette smoker,
I would get at least one terrible sinus infection
every single year.
And I mean, like terrible like weeks of coughing
and snott, and my dumb ass on some occasions
would just continue to smoke cigarettes
because that's what happens when you're a cigarette smoker you just continue to
fuck i know Christina but you know again we're we didn't know what we know now we had no
idea that cigarettes would kill you as an apriotie yes i did help with digestion yes we
did this was a nineteen forty no people in the sixties knew this and then these commercials
were they doctors would get on the commercial,
the television commercial, they were like,
Paul Maul's, they'd be like, Paul Maul's.
As a doctor, I know that Paul Maul's helped my patients
digest their meals better.
Makes them more active and keeps them fresh and focused.
Paul Maul's for your health.
It's amazing.
That's honestly in-sign. I know, but you know, you don't know what you don't know.
And I guess I suppose.
I know that FACO companies also spend billions of dollars covering it up.
I was going to say they probably did know and they probably were just getting their money.
Yeah, of course. And I wonder like all the things that I use in my house, like the spray
lace-lice-all, like how they're going to find out one day that that kills you too.
And then I'll be like, probably, like how, they're gonna find out one day that that kills you too.
And then I'll be like,
probably, like everything we own or ingest or use
is killing us.
So it's whatever, at this point.
It's all over.
Our little micro-bio domes here
are just getting destroyed by everything
that we put into ourselves and the atmosphere and all that.
But what are you gonna do?
I mean, it's just the way it is.
What are you gonna do?
Speaking of our little bio microdomes,
I saw the most interesting Instagram posts I've seen
in a long time.
It was Guy on stage, Ted Talk.
And as a younger person, younger than I am,
I wanted you to know this information
because I think it's gonna be important for you
growing up as a young woman in this world.
Okay, uh-huh.
I'm ready.
Let me mansplain to you. Let me talk down to you. Oh, great. Super. It's both your friend, your boss and. Uh-huh. I'm ready. Let me man explain to you.
Let me talk down to you.
Oh, great.
Super.
Let's both your friend, your boss, and your co-host.
I'm going to talk down to your man explain now.
Okay.
So listen to what he said.
Okay.
He said that if you are alive in the year 2023 and you are at least 18 years old, let
me give you the breakdown of what's going to happen in your life with your time, your
time that you have left on this earth if you lived to 90 years old
If you lived to 90 years old and you are over the age of 18 living in 2023
You will likely use one third of the months available in your life the remaining months on your life one third of those
We'll go to sleeping
Okay, I love that another third will go to the following things.
Working, schooling, driving, chores,
showering and shitting, okay?
Is that all in one?
It's all in one.
That's one third right there.
All those things are one third.
I couldn't believe you, like the average person
will spend, I forgot what it was,
30 months in traffic or some shit like that
I don't know. Yeah, the traffic ones are crazy. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. Okay
93% of the remaining time of your life you Christina and me and my kids and everybody else here on the stuck in this fiery hellhole
Is going to be spent interacting with a digital device with a screen.
93% of your quote unquote free time,
where you're otherwise not occupied with something,
I guess more important than screen time or sleeping,
is going to be spent on a mother fucking screen.
And I know this is true.
It rings true in every particle of my body,
it rings true because I think I'm well on my way
to spending 93% of my free time on a screen,
looking at a screen, touching a screen,
feeling up a screen, making love to a screen,
something like that.
I am definitely on my way to killing most of my
remaining free time on a digital device.
How do you feel about this?
I think that's so true because everything I do is related somehow to like the screen or the
internet or whatever because like I mean I'm a really big reader. But even that I read mostly on
my Kindle and I get my books digitally through the library most of the time. So like I use the app on my phone to go to the library
and I get my little thing and I send it to my Kindle
and then I, oh my gosh, this,
I change your life Brian.
You can do this really?
Yes, seriously?
Oh my gosh, it is an app called Libby.
Okay.
And you just need a library card, it's free.
Cause it is the library, you just need a library card
and you go in, you attach it to your library card number.
And then you can borrow books,
you can do audio books, ebooks,
you can do magazines, which is really fun
because I never want to buy magazines,
but sometimes I like to flip through them.
It would be fun if you had an iPad, I think, as well.
I got that iPad.
Because it would be big. Whereas looking at a magazine had an iPad, I think as well. Again, that's a pad. Because it would be big.
Whereas looking at a magazine on my phone,
I'm like zooming in.
Yeah, me too.
I hate looking at those magazines.
Like those, you know, the flippy magazines on the phone
drives me crazy.
They never work as intended.
But it's really fun and you can just send it
straight to your Kindle.
And obviously like there are, like you do have to wait
sometimes.
Yeah.
Like I'll place a hold on a book and it's not available for like
three weeks or sometimes it's three months or depending on the popularity of the book. So,
you know, even when I'm outside on a walk or on a run, I'm listening to an audiobook that I got via
my phone. It's me too. Yeah. Even when I'm doing the most healthy thing that I do, which is run.
Right. I like to run. I don't know why I like to run. I know there's going to kill my mates and leave
me in the, anyway, when I run the most healthy activity that I'm doing out in nature, feeling
good, fresh air in my face, I'm listening to something on some digital device. I've got
the earphones in my ear, my watch that I'm constantly looking at. I noticed like when
I was running last year, I'm obsessively looking at my watch to see watch that I'm constantly looking at. I noticed like when I was running last year,
I'm obsessively looking at my watch
to see how fast I'm going, how far I've gone
when I'm gonna, you know what?
And you know what?
I understand that, I'm good.
I started to take the watch off
because I'm like, this is ridiculous.
I am, I have a phone in my pocket
that can do the same thing
and I don't need to look at my watch every 15 seconds.
That's not the point.
I'm not fucking, you know, Michael Johnson. I'm not gonna win any Olympic medals for my running. Why not just enjoy
the run? No matter how long it takes or where we're going or how fast that happened to be doing a
mile. What am I thinking? That's, I totally get that because I do like to monitor my heart rate
and I like to try, I'm like trying to better my cardio
vascular health like specifically.
So I am trying to run within a heart,
a certain heart rate range.
And it's very hard, because I have to go a lot slower.
And then I think I, then I want to go.
Yes.
And so I spend the whole time being like,
oh, am I at 130?
Am I at 130 or whatever?
Being like, and then I have to walk.
And I have to go, and so sometimes I will just literally
not look at it at all.
I take the pace alerts off, I take all the alerts off,
and I'm like, I'm just running for fun now.
Yeah, good for you.
But I will say my favorite way to run
is with a buddy when I can just chat the whole time.
Yeah, see I've run out of breath when I do that.
Me and my friend, Rocky.
Well, it's good for you.
Yeah, it's good for me.
It's good for you to learn to talk and run
because it's really good for your health.
I was just reading, I don't know how we got on this subject,
but no, but who cares, that's the entire,
that's a commercial.
It's fine.
In a nutshell.
I was reading, or acid was reading,
and she was telling me that Taylor Swift,
the second that she started to think about putting together
this, Eros, you were.
I saw this too.
Got on the treadmill and started singing her songs day after day, night after night.
So you just get on the treadmill, she'd run and she'd sing her songs.
Now.
Well, that's what Broadway starts to.
Oh, they do.
I guess it's about a year.
Well, listen, the Broadway bitches have a good, they know, they know that you have to be
up there singing and running around and remembering your lines and all that other stuff.
But I will say this, and I know this is gonna be
controversial and some circles, which circles I don't know,
but I'm about to probably start some controversy
in somebody's life.
I, my daughters, my wife, they're now obsessed
with Taylor Swift.
They got that movie, the Errors Tour movie came out
on Amazon.
We rented it, it's like, you know, $180,000 for 24 hours
of watching 48 hours, whatever it is.
And so it's been on, or it was on last week
for like two straight days, just yeah.
The girls were watching it over and over and over again.
Even my son was getting into a dance and then doing all this stuff.
But I noticed that I think Taylor is lip syncing
at certain parts in the concert.
Now I'm not knocking her.
When you're doing a concert like that,
you gotta get your breath at some point.
When all that intense running,
but I do notice that the way that she moves her microphone
around does not jive with what I'm hearing.
And I'm really keen on this.
They might be overdubbing it for the movie, maybe.
That's what I was thinking.
I was thinking for the movie movie they probably took the best take and filled it in. I thought the same thing.
Yeah. I would bet that that's what happened. And I saw Astrid's arm in that movie because
we were at the we were there when they were filming it, it's, oh, it is one part.
I managed to stop it and find it, and it's Astrid's hand is up in the air.
And I mean, no, it's Astrid's hand because of the bracelets that she was wearing.
And I was like, wow, that's, that's exciting.
You're in the movie.
And.
That's so funny.
Yeah, we want our residuals, but I don't think they're going to send them to us.
I don't think so.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
She might be a billionaire, but you don't become a billionaire by being generous to you.
No, you're not going to become a billionaire. You become a billionaire by being generous to you. No, you don't become a billionaire.
You become a billionaire by selling multiple versions
of the same fucking album in different colors
for extended pricing so that you can absolutely take
every last penny out of your fans pocket books.
And this, I don't care for it.
I don't care for it.
I just don't.
Like, I think it's a little much.
And I know that the whole thing is like,
you cannot be a billionaire and be ethical.
No.
You just can't.
Well, I mean, you can be ethical, but you can't always do ethical things, right?
You can't have gotten that money in an ethical way.
No, not in a hundred percent.
I don't think so.
But I'm not here to argue how people make their money, right?
Because I don't, I think that's an exercise in futility a little bit.
Because, yeah.
That's just capitalism.
It's just gonna work that way.
And there's a better system,
and I'm sure there is, I can't wait for it.
But at this moment in time, this is how it works, right?
And so Taylor taking advantage of every opportunity
to get her bag, cool, whatever.
But this little thing really makes me a little bit upset
about Taylor Swift, and I realized that there's a whole machine
behind her that the tale is definitely wagging the dog somewhere.
I don't know who that is, her PR people, her managers, whatever.
But this one little thing really kind of made me upset
when I learned it, which is why do you have to put out
six different colors of the same album?
And then market collectible, only put out a few of them.
And have people try and collect it.
Yes, and then try and like, upcharge, you know,
the, this particular record is a hundred and 19.
Taking the piss.
A hundred percent taking the piss.
And I just can't, can't really get behind that.
You know what I'm saying?
I do love me a little bit, I'll tell you our Swiss.
Oh, man.
I also just like, it's okay to have critiques
of your favorite artists. It's okay to not
You know, we don't 100% it's like my mom used to say I love you, but I just don't like what you're doing right now
You know what I'm saying so I can understand you know what I you know what I can get behind 100% though Christina
Is you saying taking a piss? I like this and I say why I like this
Because it's something the British people say a lot.
And I love it.
I was watching.
If you're seeing the mighty bush.
No.
Okay, this is probably not something you're going to be into.
But the mighty bush is like this probably not.
It's like Peewee Herman.
Like an adult Peewee Herman, even though Peewe Herman's playhouse was an adult in the first
place.
It's like an adult version of Peewee's playhouse on BBC.
And it is, to me, it is like the ridiculousness is so funny sometimes, but in the show,
they often say this, fair dues instead of like, fair play or a fair enough, fair dues.
I was like, that is so brilliant.
So now, as a rule on the commercial break,, anytime you wanna say fair enough, it's fair dues,
and anytime someone is, you know, being a bitch,
you say you see they're taking a piss.
If we could just start talking like this.
Take on the piss.
If we could just be a little bit more like the Brits,
I think we'd be okay.
I'll do my best to influence you in the best way,
as you know, this is my familial legacy.
So.
You are a Brit through and through.
I'm doing my best to get the
language in there. Christina, I think all the all of our listeners in the UK can agree.
You're doing a great job of flag bearing on behalf of our EU listeners of which they
are for not in the EU anymore, but I appreciate it. Yeah, I'd still in my heart though. In my
heart, there's in my heart. In my heart, I can still go to Spain with no problem for a long time.
I know, but in reality, you have to stop by at least two checkpoints just letting you know.
Yeah.
Okay, hey, let's do this.
Let's take a quick break and then we'll come back with more fun.
Christina sitting in Chris's chair today as Chris is out again for family reasons.
For good reasons, by the way, for good reasons.
We'll be back.
Look, I know you guys are getting really sick of me, but that is too bad.
It's my job.
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i were back on here with christina
uh... virtually because i got this
it's a court to be honest is quarantine
uh... hey i did you hear about this story
of the, like this little page that worked for an assistant
that worked for Ben Carden, the senator, and he formed the twink in the Senate?
Yes.
The twink in the Senate making anal sex movies in the year.
In the year.
Where they actually question potential Supreme Court justice.
I see.
I am obsessed with that.
I think that was a bold move.
And you know what I say to that?
I say go off queen.
It Bill Clinton can do it.
Why can't we?
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not saying Bill Clinton should have done it either.
And but here's what I am saying.
I don't know if I feel it quite as liberal as you about this,
but here's what I think is hilarious actually. I saw
some of the video and I was like, wow, you go. I mean, that was the full Monty. And you
did not see the video, but I did see like the, obviously the screenshots of the video.
I saw the video where it was like, you know, they blurred out the hot action that was going on,
but you can tell. It's definitely full men having sex on a table. I love that for them. I think that is hilarious.
It's the mother fucking whatever it is 600 people that are up there supposedly making laws on
our behalf and bettering the country can't do a mother fucking thing for six goddamn years.
Then why not use the room for hot man sex? That's all I gotta say.
That's a good use.
Amen.
Where I mean, yeah, they're not doing anything else
worthwhile.
The only thing that makes this better
is if George Santos was the guy bending over the table.
That would have only been.
That would have tipped me over the edge I think.
Oh my God.
Like I think of the United States capital
and I'm not precious about it, right?
I don't like a reverent, like a church.
But I do think that, you know, okay,
there's, we should have some kind of,
I don't know what you call it, like,
deference to what's going on up there.
You know, is there running the country
and essentially setting the tone for the entire world?
But this guy just broke it all down for us.
He was like, nope, not the first one to have anal sex,
not gonna be the last one to have anal sex
right here in this room.
Where are the security guards?
Who's hanging out?
Yeah, like how did they get in there?
Are there no cameras in there?
Like what's going on?
This is, I kind of feel like if they could get to that point
and not be getting in trouble or getting kicked out.
Like, isn't that your fault?
You're kind of inviting it.
You know what I'm saying?
Well, it just feels like, I don't know.
I got you.
I thought you said that feels like your fault.
Yeah, I'm not sure.
I'm not sure if my therapist would say about that one.
No, it's definitely not a healthy outlook,
but I like to say that when I wanted to fervolate,
of course. I love it.
Listen, I kind of agree with you here. I love the outlook, but I like to say that when I want to defer blame, of course. I love it.
Listen, I kind of agree with you here.
There's no cameras, no security guards outside.
No one walks in for however long they've been sitting in there having said no one says
a fucking word.
The only way that we know about this is because one of the two parties involved decided
to leave that fucking video.
And you know, this has definitely happened before.
Oh, yeah, God, please. Yeah
You guys are fools if you think this ain't happening all over that town. I had a friend
On a college was like I know I had one friend. I had you notice I said
Oh, sweet dude. You're awesome.
I had a friend, to out of college,
she goes and she gets a job as a DC tour guide.
But now like a tour guide,
driving a bus or big crowds or something like that
private tour guide.
And so in her job as a private tour guide,
she would often interact with dignitaries, right?
People who were like important people in other countries would come,
then somebody at somebody's office would call her up and say,
take them on a tour of DC.
The important part of DC.
And she knew this place inside and out, backward and forward.
Just like this guy does, inside out, backward, forward.
If you pick up one, I'm putting down my DD canters.
My DD canters.
So, I went up there one time and she literally parked like half a block from the white house like super restricted zone
She parked just like that guys parking in your house. She honestly what the hell
Gapers are
As pro X it's a trolley's cause and trouble.
But it's directly outside my window.
I'm so sorry.
No, it's okay.
Are you recording in your bedroom?
Yeah.
My sister's, my guest room.
That's your guest room.
Are those live plants that are up above your head?
Wow.
Yeah.
That looks really good.
Thank you.
I'd like having a live plant.
I need to move these.
Painting's closer together, but.
Christina has.
Christina's got her bed, and above her bed is a shelf,
and on that shelf, I don't know, three, four plants
that look really healthy.
There's a lot going on here.
Christina, I applaud you.
I can't keep, I'm surprised any of my children are alive.
Let alone a plant.
I mean, I don't have children,
so I have more time for my plants.
Fair enough.
I have one Christmas cactus that's made it like 15, 20 years.
Wow, is it blooming this year?
It blooms.
You know when it blooms?
I'll tell you when it blooms.
No, it doesn't bloom in November.
It typically, I used to, when I had the plant,
it was given to me as a house gift,
right before me and my ex-wife moved it into our house.
That, so we're probably talking closer to 20 years now.
That plant never bloomed to the first Christmas.
It never bloomed to the second Christmas, the third Christmas, the fourth Christmas.
After I got a divorce, I started dating a girl, and the girl started coming over to the
house more frequently.
When she came over, the plant bloomed.
Right?
Now, I didn't put two and two together until I moved to the next place.
Didn't bloom on Christmas, didn't bloom again for like another year.
I started dating a woman, she started coming over and spending time at my house, it bloomed
again.
I started thinking to myself, okay, this is a little weird.
I started dating somebody, they start kind of moving their stuff into my house, and it
bloomed.
Did the same thing when Astrid came around, and now it blooms at random times and sometimes it'll bloom twice in a year
which I hear is a little strange never does it on Christmas but they she I don't know she buds when
she buds I don't know she does her thing that's crazy you know what she is she's a girls girl
she is a girls girl she's a girl girl girl that girl energy just sets her off I don't know
she said screw you you, Brian.
I am here to bloom for the ladies.
You know, it's kind of like the myth that women, if they spend enough time with each other,
will cycle all of them on cycle at the same time.
Is it, is it not?
No, I'm kidding.
I know, truth.
I was like, no, I'm a beta bitch.
My uterus just flies to whoever's closest.
I really can't help it.
But isn't that weird?
Is that the real thing to throw me off? Because if I start, it's just like, whoever's closest. I really can't help it. Is it that weird?
Is that the real thing to throw me off?
Because if I start, it's just like,
yeah, you start messing up.
I'm such a little beta.
I don't know.
My body just wants to be a follower.
I don't know.
I got 15 women in the house.
I don't know what's gonna happen
when they all get to age of consents.
I think it's gonna get a little weirder out here.
I mean, I've got two sisters, so I get it.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
So this cactus, 15, 20 years on,
and she blooms when she blooms.
I think that everyone's gonna be on the same cycle
pretty soon, they're all gonna bloom at the same time.
So this guy who goes in and has sex,
here is like my overarching thought on this.
First of all, it's crazy that he got away with us because it tells you exactly what's going on is here is like my overarching thought on this.
First of all, it's crazy that he got away with us because it tells you exactly what's going on
inside that capital.
Nothing, no one gives a fuck, no one gives a shit,
no one's watching anything.
Number two is that you know, and you know,
and you know that one of those two released that sex tape
because they knew this was going to happen.
They were going to get noticed.
They were going to have a little 15 minutes
to shower themselves in fame and hopefully
jumpstart their career in some way, shape, or form.
Yeah.
Because when you put a video together like that,
like I may or may not have in my past,
when you do something like that,
when you do something like that,
you know to keep that thing as tight as possible.
Like it's gotta be in a secure location
on a secured server, locked away
with multiple fingerprint identifications, I scan.
You cannot let that stuff float out there on the internet
because it just never comes back to you.
No, never comes back to you.
So there's only one or two ways that this happened.
And it's likely that one of those gentlemen
released that video.
Why would they do that?
I mean, the 15 minutes of fame I get, but don't you suspect that you might get in trouble if you're in the
end?
Yeah, I don't know. I can't really seem to figure out their motivations at this point
in time. I don't know if it was like they're approving a point or if it was like to make
a little segue into a new career. I think so, yeah.
Which is fair.
I mean, government, not a great career,
but sex work works out.
Hey, listen.
I was listening to this comedian,
I forget his name, I wish I could give him credit.
And he says, I was reading the comments
on an Instagram model who also does only fans.
And these guys were like fucking
whore, fucking whore, put your pussy away, blah, blah, blah, fucking whore.
And he had this brilliant, and I wish I could do it justice, but I'm not going to, I'm just
going to repeat kind of what he said paraphrasing.
He said, yeah, you get him, Chad, you're going to go to the oil refinery and you're going
to work 20, 30, 40, 50 years for the oil refinery and she is gonna work for only fans.
Guess what? Both of you are working for billionaires with way too much money that don't give a fuck about your personal feelings.
Both of you are gonna make a living doing what you're doing for the man. Both of you are getting fucked, but at least she's doing it to herself.
So you know what Chad, go do your thing.
And I was like, holy fucking shit dude, you're so right.
You are so right, good for him.
And so if only fans is the place where these kids go,
great, fantastic.
Do you, I have this, but this makes me ask a question.
Do you think that it's possible?
It's possible. That the reason why sex rates are declining,
like we talked about last episode,
the reason why sex, meaning sexual activity rates
are declining in the young people in this country
is because they're afraid that something,
like there's gonna be some kind of digital fingerprint
around the sexual activity that they have,
like someone's gonna record them,
someone's gonna, you know, some weird shit is have, like someone's going to record them.
Someone's going to, you know, some weird shit is going to happen.
It's going to be out there.
That's probably part of it because there is a lot of like, I don't know what exactly to
call it, but I guess I would say it's not revenge porn, but like just people being like
inconsiderate and like non consent around that type of thing.
So like that is scary.
I think that's a very scary thought,
but I think also it's probably the availability
of like sexual media.
Yeah.
Like you don't have to seek someone else.
No you don't.
So like get your rocks off, you know?
And you don't have to, you know,
rely on your imagination.
But I don't know, I feel like that's part of it, but then there's definitely like an aspect of like digital media just having gone too far, or like us having too much access to be
able to hurt other people.
I agree with you.
I think there's two things.
I think number one, there's a fear around it.
Like it's, it can be a scary thing.
Like God forbid you get pregnant in America in 2023
and you don't want and you're not prepared for whatever reasons.
Health, medical, financial, emotional, right?
Whatever the reasons are.
But then on top of that, you do have this availability
of so much fucking porn.
There's so much dick out there on the internet.
You don't really need to go seek it out
because the other thing is, is that the world of sexual,
you know, pleasure toys, you know,
deal-dose and pocket pussy,
and all that, they're so advanced.
You don't, why would you need to find a human being?
You can buy a sex doll for like a thousand dollars
and live with her like some people do
as if she's human.
The sex dolls are crazy. Oh my God, they're crazy. I tried to get someone to send me one and he, so listen to this. So it's like, it's like, I don't know, episode 5060. And we do this episode about
sex dolls. These guys that live with the sex dolls, there's one guy in particular in England
who has a collection of 50 of them and every one one of them has a name, and 50, 50.
And he, does he use them all?
He uses them, I don't know if he uses them all.
We watch this whole documentary
is like 30 minutes long, but he has a wife also, right?
So he's got a wife, they both live with these sex dolls,
they both dress them up, they take turns feeding them.
I don't even know what the fuck was going on there.
I don't like that.
No, it's delusional.
No, it's really, really weird.
But so anyway, so we do this whole thing,
and then as a joke, I'm like,
I've never even seen a sex doll in person.
You know, I've seen them being made on videos and stuff
like that, but I never even seen a sex doll in person.
I don't even know what they would like,
feel like or look like they're actual texture.
If anybody has one, if anyone knows how to get one,
send it to me.
So this guy texts me like a week and a half later.
And he's like, listen, I'm just buying my third sex doll,
but my first one, I'm ready to give it up.
If you want it, I'll send it to you.
And I'm like, fuck you will.
The fuck you're gonna be sending me.
Used sex doll, no thing.
Classic dump, fuck it.
Sex doll. What are you thinking? Why would I want toxic dumps. Look at sex doll.
What are you thinking?
Why would I want that?
Who wants a used sex doll?
Although I'm sure you can buy them.
I understand sex dolls.
And I don't think I understand the logistics of them
because I've never had one.
And I also don't have a penis.
And I'm not, you know, I have a big functioning brain
that is away from said penis.
Yeah, yeah, fair enough.
I'm like, hmm, I don't really know if I understand this.
Like, are you faking the doll?
Are you, are you,
well, are you coming in the doll?
Yes.
How do you clean it up?
There's a whole cleaning kit that comes with it.
Can you take the vagina area and pull it out?
I think so, yes.
And some of those sextiles, yes.
You can take off the vagina and the anus and...
Oh, you take it off.
Yeah, you'd be like pulling.
I was thinking it would be like pulling a sock inside out, you know?
Oh God, just the thought of that.
Just give me the willies.
Like, but I,
Well, it's a doll.
It's a, it's a,
it's a, it's a blow up doll.
It's not a blow up doll.
It's not blow up.
No, it is a,
it weighs like 150 pounds.
Oh my God, I hate this so much.
They are like exo, exoskeletons.
They, with real,
with rubber that feels like real skin painted.
You know what it's kind of giving? It's kind of giving weighted blanket,
giving anxiety. Like these are for the lonely boys who have anxiety and they're like,
I want a lady to just suffocate me. Just lay on me. Yeah, just put your big
tits right in front of my face and just go to sleep with me.
So like what's it made of then?
Like what does it feel like?
I don't know, that's why.
I don't know what it feels like,
but I've seen videos.
It looks like it's like really soft rubber.
The body is, so it ends up in the skin feels.
Kind of tacky like skin is.
I guess.
Yeah, kind of tacky.
You know that plastic, like,
think of like a ball that you squeeze at work
Yeah, one of those stress balls. I imagine the texture is kind of like that
Foamy. Yeah, like a little squishy squeezy, and I don't think I like this. Yeah, no
I don't think I would have sex with one
I know I wouldn't because I just don't know how you feel. I don't know how you could maintain an erection
Listen to each their own, right? I mean if that's what turns you on for me. No, no, no, I wouldn't I don't know how you could maintain an erection. Listen, to each their own, right?
I mean, if that's what turns you on.
Yeah, but for me.
No, no, no, I don't think I could ever.
I don't even think I could get in the mood.
I think exactly, I feel like I would be like,
I'd be two in my head because there's no one to talk to.
Yeah, sex is awkward enough without having it be plastic.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I think it's just awkward enough.
Yeah, I think it's a texture thing for me.
I think it's the fact that it's made of rubber and stuff
and squishy, probably.
Agreed.
I don't think I'd be able to feel right about it.
I think it's the dead inanimate eyes
that I think wouldn't get me.
I wouldn't want something
that we were staring at me like that.
Like I'm having sex with someone
that can't move their eye.
I'm not sleeping mask on her and pretend it's like a bondage. That's true. I could do that can't move their eyeballs.
You could put a little sleeping mask on her
and pretend it's like a bondage.
Oh, that's true.
That's true.
I could do that or I could just turn,
I could turn her over and then not have to worry about the eyes,
but then that's even more strange.
I'm just thinking of you.
And at 150 pounds, I'm not strong enough
to carry that thing around.
It's gonna have to be in all position.
You know what I'm saying?
Like I'm gonna have to set it up and just knock it out
and then be done.
But just thinking about this, there is nothing.
And I mean, nothing that turns me on about that.
Not a thing.
Because I just like a heartbeat.
I mean, that's what I have to one thing that I've ever was.
In my lovers is a heartbeat.
That's all I've requested.
Just a heartbeat.
Yes, my.
Well, I don't always get smiling.
But, you know, that's
for accentuating circumstances. These guys
are, but I do understand, I do
understand that not everybody has
swagger. Not everybody's got the
Riz. Do you know what I'm saying?
Yes. So if not everybody on the head
of jizzin and risen, you are the head
of jizzin and risen. And so you do
understand that it's not always easy
for anybody, male, female or otherwise,
to walk into a bar, meet somebody,
go through the dance, take them home.
That's a whole dance that some people
I think just really struggle with, they get blocked, right?
It's like, right, there's blocked.
They get blocked.
And you do that for years and years and years,
you're just lonely, like you just want something to feel like a human being laying next to you.
Now, it's not going to talk to you or, you know, tell you how great of a job you did. But I guess
that's the point too, is that? Where you get a little recorder, like the ones they put in like
build a bearer's. And it's like, great job, Christina. I love you so much.
And then you put it in there,
and you press this little button,
and then you can spoon it night and be like,
ah, I'm the best.
I love this for me.
Your dick is the best, Brian.
Thanks again for fucking me so hard.
You almost knocked my fake pussy out.
Good night, sweetie.
Love that.
Thanks again.
This is the fourth time today. Thanks again. Remember to clean me.
Remember to clean me. Don't forget to remove my pussy.
Remove my pussy, but don't use bleach. Remember what happened to the dishwasher?
It's not dishwasher safe.
Remember to put my dead cold eyes in the laundry. Thank you.
Oh, taking the eyes out. That's cold, Brian.
Well, listen, if I'm going to, this ever happens, if it's like I'm the last man standing on earth,
and I have to break into the sex show. I'm the last man, I guess I'm not, this ever happens, if it's like I'm the last man standing on earth and I have to break into the sex show,
I'm the last man, I guess I'm not breaking into anything,
it's all mine anyway.
But if I'm the last man on earth
and I have to break into the sex show
and get the sex doll because God forbid,
no one's here to help me to have love with,
then if that happens, I'm taking the eyes out
because I just don't want those dead cold eyes staring me.
I don't even want the dog in the room.
Fair enough.
All right, let's say one more break.
We'll get over our sex cell talk.
And then we'll be back with an even more interesting story
than anal sex in the hearing room of Congress.
We'll be right back.
Okay, Brian, shh. Let me give the people what they want.
Our social media handles.
Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast.
If like all my hinge dates, you are thirsty for more, give us a call and leave us a message
at 626-ask-TCB3.
Or send us a text, no sexting please, at 855-TCB-8383.
And of course, go to tcbpodcast.com to see everything there is to see.
Now let's hear from our sponsors and then the show is going.
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All right, we're back. I'm here with Christina. Okay, are you ready for the most disturbing story of 2023?
Hands down without a doubt.
Maybe the most disturbing story since the year 2000.
And I don't know what was,
Oh, okay.
Since 2001, let's put it that way,
because we all know the disturbing story of 2001.
But this is highly disturbing.
Caution.
I'm ready.
Trigger warning for anybody out there
that might be attached to their genitals
or any other part of their body currently.
And I just listen to this.
Okay.
Just listen to this.
Here's the byline.
Hotel worker cops to quote castrations by clamping
streamed on Gulasch, UNA MAKER website.
A worker at a Scottish hotel has admitted to participating in extreme body modification
plots in which surgeries, including castorations, were carried out and streamed to paying customers
on a website called Unak Maker.
And I think I'm saying that correctly.
Yeah, it's Unik Maker.
Unik Maker.
Oh, Unik Maker. I never even thought about that
I was a German website
Well, here's a mock up. Oh, no,
Makka. Here's how it said EU and you CHMA KER. I guess we can say that maker. Yeah,
you make maker. Okay. Oh, no,
Makka. Oh, no,
Makar. Unak Makar. Unak Makar!
And I am so glad that I am on this episode and not editing this episode because I would be screaming right now.
Unak Makar.com.
Is that spelled like Unik and I thought it was a German website because you know the Germans are into all this kind of weird can shit.
So Unak Makar. Unakmaka.
Unakmaka.com.
Unakmaka.com.
We will mark you.
Unakmaka.com.
We will mark you.
Unakmaka.com.
We slice off your pee pee little boy.
Who wants your pee pee?
Bye bye.
Oh come to Unakmaka.
Unakmaka.com.
We take out your anus.
Oh wow. Taking it. We take out your anus. Oh wow, taking it.
We remove your anus.
We remove your anus.
We managed to not be serious for two seconds.
This is a incredibly terrible story.
I'm so sorry, but you said one of Maca.
I said one of Maca's.
I said one of Maca's.
I can't say here and be like, oh my God.
Yes, very serious.
The Unic Maker.
I should have got that one.
Like when it comes to days ago when I found this story.
Oh my God.
It's fucking classic Brian Green.
That is classic commercial break right there.
Brian Green is essentially the commercial man.
Here we go.
All right, ready?
Yes.
I'm not going to try and say this guy's last name.
I'll say in
twenty eight a romanian national living in london is standing trial with eight
alleged co-conspirators who prosecutor say engaged in up to twenty nine
incidents of extreme body modifications on thirteen victims who had various
body parts removed including through castration by clamping
this is according to the bb. The alleged conspiracy is said to involve
ghoulish subculture in which healthy body parts,
often the genitals are either surgically removed
or damaged to the point where medical intervention
is required usually involving amputation by a physician.
The defendants are all alleged to belong
to a bizarre collective in which men voluntarily
remove their penis and testicles to become what adherents call new lows or in as in gentle genital nullification.
So new lows is short for genital nullification.
Footage of the Grizzly Procedures was allegedly broadcast on a paid subscriber website called Unic Maker
or Unic Macker
Unic Macker
I removed my beeping
Streaming now on Unic Macker last call
Yes my little blueberries
I'm cutting them off
Oh my god, again
599 per month
The paid website called UnicMaker operated by a Norway born North London resident, Marius
Gustavusen, 45, the alleged conspiracy ringleader who was said to have generated up to $250,000
for group members from the broadcasts over the six year plot.
Gustavusen, who is in a wheelchair due to his own amputation told the Irish independent newspaper in February of 2020
That he willingly had his leg penis and part of his nipple removed by the group because he wanted to look
Like quote unquote a kendall downstairs
He told the paper that he had performed similar
Nollifications on 58 other men and that he stored the excise genitals in a freezer
or an alcohol on his property.
Okay, then just goes on to talk about the court case.
Holy shit.
Holy shit is right.
Now, I have heard of this.
I have heard of people that need to take off their leg.
It's like they can't have it on them.
I've watched documentaries on this.
They cannot take it.
They just, it's like, I don't know.
It'd be like if you had a pimple that just would never go away,
you had to get rid of it.
You had to find a way, you can't stop you.
I don't wanna feel it, I don't wanna stare it,
I don't wanna look at it, I just don't want it there.
But they're like, but this guy takes it to a whole other level.
He is literally creating Unix by body modification, but so extreme. So one of the,
so I went and I did some investigation on both the website and this, uh, this ring of people
who are doing this. The, the reality for a lot of the people who are getting this done is they
are requesting that this be done. They are involved in the consent of this being done.
The reason why it's such a big deal is because oftentimes these notifications, I think
what you call them, rituals, they go wrong to the point where the ambulance has to be
called and they have to finish it off in a surgical room.
So they're costing everybody a bunch of money and time and they're putting lives in serious
danger. If you're going gonna take off your wink wink,
you better have a doctor in the room.
Wink wink.
If you're gonna take off your twink wink,
you better have that thing sterilized or something.
You can't do it in the basement of Unakmaka.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, Unakmaka is not the place where you go
to have this done.
It's a surgery room where you have this done by professional doctors, but of course they
will not do this.
In the documentary that I watched, this guy was on such, so hell bent to take off his legs.
Both of them was so hell bent to do that that he was sticking his legs into ice baths
for hours and hours and hours at a time, hoping to cut
off enough circulation or get them frostbitten enough that there would be no choice but
to do it.
And in another part of the documentary, this guy wanted his leg cut off so badly that
he was like putting like weird objects into his leg, hoping that it would cause enough
damage to the nerves and to the muscles that they would have no choice but to take it off.
This is a terribly disturbing trend that I'm sure has been going on since the birth of
time, right?
There's probably, this is probably something.
It's obviously something.
It's a mental thing.
That must be such a painful way to live.
I can't imagine being so upset with my dangle dangle that I want to just like cut it off.
Now I think it's a different story if you're like, if you're want to transition, that's
a different story I think that has to do with the whole, not with the thing with the whole,
right?
Feeling whole, feeling better.
Totally.
Yeah.
And you're not like you're transitioning to a kendall, you're transitioning into a woman
or back or into a man.
Or like wanting so badly to have your leg removed to feel like that is not part of your
body must be really disorienting.
Must be so strange.
There's got to be like a medicine that cures this.
And I imagine.
That gives me the hibis-gb's.
It's vikin' unrelated because I've taken vikin' and I don't give a shit about anything when I'm on vikin' it.
So these people need to have special exceptions
and let them just take as much vikin' into as they need to
to feel okay with their extremities.
I can't imagine getting to a point
where I need to take an extremity off.
Remember that movie?
What was it, two and a half days, 48 hours,
49 hours, 27 hours.
127 hours.
That movie is so disturbing to me.
And I watched it.
And whoever, who was the guy?
Um, creepy guy.
Creepy guy.
Yeah.
James Franco, who also coincidentally in an episode of 30 Rock was playing himself who had
a relationship with a sex doll.
Oh, I think I was sort of this episode.
Yeah, look at him and Tina Fey's character
start like a PR relationship.
I would like to say just like a good episode of 30 Rock
that this all comes together and fits nicely
because I planned it that way,
but that's not at all how it happened.
So just so you know,
and every commercial listener understands.
Yeah, they get it.
They get it.
This is like,
this is the like the,
this is the nightmare of mine
that you wake up one day
and just have to get rid of a leg.
It's, I was thinking about this the other night.
Isn't it really scary?
Yeah.
Why do you think someone feels that way?
I don't know.
I can only assume it's some form of mental...
Obsessive, compulsive disorder or something?
Oh, perhaps.
I don't know.
I don't think I know enough about mental diagnoses to really have a guess.
But again, I mean, it has to be mental.
I can't.
I don't know. I'm not a scientist.
No, but here's what I was talking a friend about.
If you get a leg cut off,
what happens if you wake up one day and you're like,
oh, I'm cool with my, you know, I'm cool with the leg.
Can I put it back on?
Like once you do that, it's so extreme.
You'll never have a chance to walk on two legs again
if you cut off one of your legs because you decide in some fit of whatever that you need to get your leg cut off.
Well, I guess that's one of those things. I mean, it's not really allowed.
You can't just decide to remove your own leg.
No, and I don't think it should be allowed. If I'm being honest, I think you...
I agree. I'm with you, because it's dangerous.
It's terribly dangerous.
It's against every ethic that a doctor signs up for,
an assurgent signs up for you.
You have to do no harm.
Yeah, that's explicitly doing harm.
Yes, that's explicitly doing harm,
even against the patient's better judgment.
It, listen, if you go to a psychiatrist for like five years,
or whatever, however long it is, right?
And the psychiatrist then calls a medical doctor
and says, this person will literally not be able
to survive as a human being if they continue to have legs.
Then in special circumstances,
then I can see where a group of doctors gets together
and figures out a plan, not for cutting it off,
but for, I don't know, making it feel like it's cut off.
I don't know, for a patient something. I don't know, making it feel like it's cut off or... I don't know. For our patient something.
I don't know.
When I was a kid, there was a guy who did these comedy videos.
He was a golfer.
He pretended to be a Scottish golfer.
But he would, I don't even have ever seen these videos.
He would put two shoes on his knees,
like he had had his legs cut off, right?
And he would walk around and do these silly things.
He was like a comedian.
I forgot what the guy's name is.
And I always thought that was funny,
but I was thinking to myself that maybe they could go that route.
They just taped themselves with some shoes on.
Well, I think what would be interesting is like,
what if you did cut your leg off or have your leg
impusated and then you had phantom leg pain?
Oh, you're gonna have phantom leg pain
Pain and I just got him to sector me
That's fake that's fake news Brian
It's where the God oh my god Brian is so thirsty for attention He needs to tell everyone that his balls hurt so bad. I know you should see me running around this house
I got like ball. I've just my
kick me in the balls. I'm holding my youngest daughter. Uh, yes, I am with whoever told you
you need to wear a cup. You should just be wearing a cup. No, I can't. I can't. It's
uncomfortable. Uh, Chrissy. You can wear like a chocity belt. Yeah. I could. I mean,
because I'm not getting laid right now. that's for sure. No one's having sexual disgo. Astrid's grateful. She's like, could he have a bisectomy every other week?
So I am holding my daughter. I'm just like bouncing her around trying to get her to go to sleep.
And sometimes when she gets angry, she gets into the shoes that throws herself around.
She's trying to get out, right? And she's getting irritated because she doesn't want to go to sleep.
And so she takes that little leg of hers, which is not a little leg,
because my daughter's like a small giant.
And she just, wow, right in my chugichangs, and I swear,
Christina, I had to like ice and lay down.
And then I was thinking to myself, I am such a big fucking baby.
I am such a big fucking baby.
Like, this is flu times 10, Brian.
Stop acting like a big baby.
Get up, get out there, act like an adult.
You got kicked in the nuts.
Okay, you're vod, you know, whatever it's called, you're vod's
difference.
It's hurting a little bit.
You'll be okay.
There's literally millions of men that get this done every year.
Like you're going to be just fine.
Everything's going to be okay.
It's so funny to me.
Sometimes I am such a bitch. I, you're gonna be just fine. I'm gonna be just fine. Everything's gonna be okay.
So funny to me.
Sometimes I am such a bitch.
I just don't believe men's pain.
Which is such a hot take.
It is a hot take.
It's a hot take to have.
Is it smart?
Probably not, but whatever.
Well, I think that this is probably
a very popular opinion amongst women.
And amongst women. Yeah, well, I think we this is probably a very popular opinion amongst women. And amongst women.
Well, I think we just know pain.
And so sometimes when a man is sick, I'm like, are you though?
Yeah.
But I treat them the way they've treated women for years.
Yeah, there is some scientific evidence that I read, maybe about seven months ago, eight
months ago, nine months ago, we talked about a little bit on the show that men
we often ignore brute force pain, like arm breaking,
and we'll be like, oh, it's okay,
we're gonna go to the doctor and butt says,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
but the smallest amount of pain,
like a non-descript pain, like a flu or a cold,
or what a vasectomy, whatever it is, yeah, paper cut,
that we interpret pain in a differentectomy, whatever it is. Yeah, paper cut, that we interpret pain
in a different way that makes us literally children.
It makes us children when we get that kind of pain.
And-
That's interesting.
I don't disagree with that whatsoever,
because I'm a fucking child when I get sick, a child.
And I don't do-
It means the man flew for a reason.
It's called the man flew for a reason.
And I watch that woman go through like 13 hours
of fucking hell.
She always died on the table.
And I watched her and she doesn't.
Three times to this day.
Three times.
Well, once for real.
Like one, yeah.
Okay, I mean, I'm not diminishing any of the experiences.
I wasn't the one on the table,
but I was the one watching it.
I'm telling you right now, it's intense.
Yeah, but I'm sure out of the millions of times
she's had babies, they've all been truly horrific.
Arrophic experiences, but my wife still to this day is like,
it wasn't a big deal.
And three other people that were in the room,
her mom, her dad, and myself are all like, oh no, no, no, no, no.
It was a big fucking deal. Like it was a huge or her dad and myself are all like, oh no, no, no, no, no, it was a big fucking deal.
Like it was a huge ordeal and she's still like,
not a big deal and I just,
I have to give her such mad respect
for those little nerves of hers because they too,
just great.
I get a cold and I'm in bed for seven days.
I'm like, oh yeah.
I don't wanna get out of bed, I don't feel it's so good.
I think we just, I think we're just big babies. Christina. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't know if it's so good. I think we're just big babies.
Christina?
Yeah, I don't know.
I just don't, yeah, I have a lot of sympathy.
When you get to flu though, what do you do?
What's your like, what's your thing?
I take medicine and I go out my day.
I did have one day where I didn't have medicine
when I had strap and I had like a crazy fever all day
and so I was like in and out of,
like I was hot and cold and cold, but then after that,
I just took the medicine to reduce my fever
and I just got on with it because it's kind of what you do.
Yeah, that's foreign to me.
I complain a lot.
I take as much time as possible
before I take any medication because of course,
I'm gonna complain about the medication
making me feel loopy.
And then I just let myself run that super high fever
so I can complain some more.
You know what I'm saying?
That's like my-
That is so annoying.
Well whenever people are like complaining about pain
or like a fever or something,
and this includes me because I will do the same thing.
I swear to you.
I realize that I have the means to fix this.
Yes.
And I'm like, why have I been sitting here
literally dying for four hours
when I could have just taken IV profan
and not been such a little...
Who's got bitch?
You know?
Because I think at some level,
we're all like, you know, I'm tough enough to handle this.
I don't need this, right?
Yeah.
But we're just like, I'm baby, I wanna complain. Yeah, I to handle this. I don't need this, right? Yeah. Or just like, I'm baby, I want to complain.
Yeah, I think that's, I don't know.
Listen, I'm never gonna refuse an opportunity
to cuddle next to the womb of womanhood
and, you know, complain a little bit.
Because it does.
The womb of womanhood.
The womb of womanhood.
Ha ha ha.
Because it makes us feel, I don't know, comforted and important.
And like the center of the universe is with us again because we are sick and we need all
the attention now.
It's just one of those things.
I don't know, Christina, I can't explain it to you, but I understand it.
And I agree with it.
I agree with it.
I know.
I wouldn't hurt me to be alone nicer though.
True story. True story.
You can't argue with the result. And the result is it doesn't matter if you're a little bit nicer.
We're still going to be little bitches when we just
true. So why should I be nicer?
Not going to. Sorry.
Have your fun.
Dr. Phil said this.
One of the few things I've ever heard Dr. Phil say that I might agree with.
He said, if you really want to put a relationship
to the test, it's not about going on a vacation
and seeing if you guys can travel together.
It's not about seeing whether or not you can meet
the families and get along.
It's about spend a week with them
while they have the fucking flu.
And then you'll find out if you really want to be a part
of someone's life long term.
Yikes!
So that's why I didn't bring you here today, okay?
Yeah.
Alright, now you get it.
Now you got it.
Yeah, I appreciate it and I really do.
Alright, well I gotta go check out the Unic Mocker site and see if there's any updated videos.
Unic Mocker.
I'm just bringing crying throwing up about Unic Mocker.
Unic Mocker.
It's got a picture that you would definitely think is Unic Mocker. Ha ha. Unic Mocker.
It's got a picture that you would definitely think is Unic Mocker, by the way.
Oh, wow.
We'll see.
I'll see if you can see this.
You probably won't get this.
This is way too small.
But the front cover is like this guy all tied up in rope.
Oh, you're not pointing at the camera.
There we go.
Man tied up in the arms.
Oh yes!
Yes!
Oh, Nick Maka!
We cut off your wing wing!
You're twink, twink, twink, wing, because that was you said.
Twink, twink, you're twink, twink, twink.
He'll leave the twink wings for the guys on the capital.
All right, tcbpodcast.com, that's where you go.
You find out more information about the show.
You can watch all the video, listen to all the audio,
and you can get your free picky fronting sticker.
You know how you do that?
You go to the website, you hit the contact us,
but you leave us your physical address
and we'll send one off in two to seven weeks.
Don't worry, it'll be there way before next Christmas.
I promise.
Okay, people are gonna get mad at me,
but I have to admit I made a mistake.
When I started announcing the picky-fronting sticker was ready to be sent out, it had
not even been sent to the printers yet.
I thought it had, but it did.
So if you asked for one like a month and a half ago and you haven't received it yet,
it's just because they're going out now.
I made a mistake, and I didn't know until a week ago and I waited as long as possible. Ryan, it is the problem.
Always.
Heart.
Heart.
Love y'all.
Love you mean it.
Love you mean it.
66, as Tcb the number three that's 1626, as Tcb the number three.
Comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, toll free from anywhere in the world
you can text us or you can call, leave us a voicemail, be aware that your voice might
be used if you leave us a voicemail.
So please don't leave any identifying information or any information like I just cut off my
twink wink if you don't want that set out loud.
At the commercial break on Instagram.
TCB Podcast on TicTic and for God's sakes go to the YouTube channel
youtube.com slash the commercial break as Dr. Phil would say all right that's definitely all I can do today but Christina love you best to you best to you love me in it and best to you out there in the
podcast universe until next time Christine on I always say we do say and we must say goodbye.
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