The Commercial Break - Crow Crow Killed Huckleberry!
Episode Date: April 29, 2022Krissy and Bryan decide it's time to get some professional promo photos. So Bryan sets up a photo shoot and requests some Kardashian style edits. Kim K is bellybutton...according to some internet expe...rts. The gang discusses ratings books, radio reporting beepers and T.V. rating. Bryan is still concerned about Meta-verse children and finally, Bryan gets a request from a mother-son duo for a Monster Hunters review. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Y'all are gonna have to calm yourselves or you won't make it through the hour
Because he's in the building Please welcome.
Hey girl, let me go.
On this episode of the Commercial Break, we're going to be like the radio guy in ten years
from now.
Radio's in still in 400% of every house's.
98% of people say they'd rather listen to radio than watch TV.
Oh really?
Oh really?
Which stats tell you that?
My own stats are made about...
I don't believe that shit either.
I'm here to stuff down the radio about being lost!
Are we lost?
I'm scared now, Huck.
Don't turn out here. When you say something do you mean the whole camera crew, the lighting rig, or are you Are we lost? I'm scared now, look
When you say something do you mean the whole camera crew the Latin rig are you talking about something else? I just want to know what to be prepared for
Every time you guys say something like that. I shit my pants. I run the other way. You don't know
We kill
We lost another one.
Casting call for Monster Hunter Season 30.
Long haired beard with a straw hat and a southern draw.
We'll just call him a Uncle Bear.
We lost the third Uncle Bear.
Unfortunately, Crow Crow eggs.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend Kristen. Only Bestie you, Kristen. That's take you Brian. I see you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you?
Thanks for joining us. Welcome back to another episode of this the commercial break. No, the question make you ever need guarantee
Hey, my good friend. Hello. How are you? Hello again. Hello again. It's me. I
Think we should take some photo. We're gonna go take some promotional photographs. Yes. Next week
Because the masses are calling for them. I think we just need to pump out
promotional photographs so that our
Tens of fans can see what what we're all about outside of the studio and
One of the requests that I've told the photographers. I'd please like my belly button
Photoshopped out of the requests that I've told the photographers, I'd please like my belly button, a Photoshopped out of all images. I don't want my belly button any part of any images
that we take.
And since we're gonna be doing some crop tops
and haul tops and tube tops and stuff like that,
the photographer I think is gonna kindly follow my wishes.
He said you pay an extra 50 bucks
to get your belly button photographed out.
Cause who wants a belly button showing on any photo?
No, definitely not.
You read about this hilarious shit.
You even aren't talking about it.
No, but I can only imagine.
Kim Kardashian took a photograph of her new,
you know, Jazzy G's, whatever.
Jazzy G's sleeveless, armless, you know, flatware.
What do they call that, shapewear?
A skims.
Skims, skims.
What a brilliant name.
Skims, the skimming the money off of your top of your checkbook
With my shitty clothing where um
She took a photograph in her new skims and
Mysteriously no belly button her belly button disappeared now. She says it's under the skims which is possible
I don't know. I'm not a I'm not a Kim Kardashian expert. I don't know her bellybutton ladies. I don't have a map of the Kardashian skin.
But she even said, she said, this is ridiculous guys.
The fuck are you talking about?
My belly button is under the skin.
But people, you know, the conspiracy theorists
are like, you know, this girl has clearly Photoshopped out
her belly button.
And well, it's not out of the question
to think that these, that anything to do
with the Kardashians or photo shop?
The Kardashians photoshop everything.
Yeah, it's that.
They photoshopped a picture of their daughter at Disneyland
and they had to like admit it.
They had to say, yeah, you're right,
we photoshopped a picture of your daughter.
What could you, I mean, I think that's a,
I don't know.
It's also made in you factored in fake.
It is.
That's why I, as much as everybody loves the Kardashians,
I cannot get into it for the life of me
I think it's so vapid and fake and listen cheers to them
They they are billion dollar business women and they did a really done a great job for themselves
But I cannot get into it because I see right through it and it doesn't I don't understand
I know I was talking to a friend this past weekend. You know where Kimmy
Went to go see her in Cincinnati,
which was a lot of fun.
Yeah, anyway, but we were talking.
Nothing like a trip to Cincinnati.
I was pleasantly surprised I had never been before.
I've been, I actually like it.
Yeah, it was great, but we were talking
and I just said, my God, what can you believe anymore
when you see the no pictures?
You can't believe anything.
No pictures, no Instagram stories of people
having the best time somewhere.
It's all so fake.
Yeah.
It was just on a phone call and one of the guys
had gone to an event where there was like
a lot of influencers.
And one of the big topics of conversation was
that there was a bot traffic, like robot traffic.
And one of the presentations apparently said,
have robots taken over.
Yes, they have.
It's all bot traffic. I think it's, they have. It's all about traffic.
I think it's all just fake.
It's all just, I don't think you can believe anything.
I don't think so.
On social media anymore, at all.
So I figure if you can't beat them, join them.
And I think we should get our photographs highly touched up.
Highly.
Like hilariously touched up.
I won't really, really long-hand, like fingers.
Long skinny finger, like, yes,
a melificent like fingers.
I'm gonna get a bulge put in my jeans
that goes all the way down to my knee.
Yeah.
I'm gonna, my whole face is just gonna be smooth as ice
and dark and tan.
I'm gonna get, oh, like a super dark tan.
I guess this is where avatars come into play, you know?
You just go ahead and make whatever you want.
If we were in the metaverse, then none of this would care.
My, I could have my meta penis as meta big as I wanted there.
I think that's, I'm telling you, it's coming,
it's coming, meta pregnancies are coming.
I dug into this and there are already people
talking about this on the internet already people talking about.
Me and my meta girlfriend want to have a metababy.
How do we do this?
Somebody is gonna make this up, Chrissy.
Somebody is gonna make a metachild
and you're gonna have to meditate, carament.
And that's all metabull shit.
Meta diapers.
I'm gonna be the last guy to jump.
I didn't even use my email address
until I got into internet marketing.
Honestly, I didn't even know how to use it.
I'm gonna be the last guy to get into metachit.
I don't want to walk around with a bunch of all I see
of these people in the Metaverse
is them wearing these big clunky headsets,
knocking into things, falling down,
breaking their TVs, killing their kids.
I mean, it just looks like a big fucking mess to me.
And I think a good thing.
They're opening a store.
A Meta store at Meta, which formerly Facebook
is opening their own store to be able to introduce people to how it works because people all know
People have no fucking clue. Meta is betting big on meta. That's all I gotta say
But you can but you can go to stores in the metaverse you can buy clothing and the whole clothing designers that just do nothing real estate
It's all getting crazy man. I just think with the podcast. Yes
We're gonna be like the radio guy ten years from
radios and still in four 400% of every house's 98% of people say they'd rather
listen to radio than watch TV. Oh really? Oh really? Which stats tell you that?
My own stats I made about I don't believe that shit either. Yeah stats. I was talking to
someone about like you can manipulate them. stats. Now we're talking to someone about, like,
because you can manipulate them.
Of course.
We want it.
Talking to someone about like,
Nielsen ratings and Arbachon ratings and stuff.
Now people carry, it used to be that they would write
in a book.
This, for those of you that don't know, radio ratings used to be
that they would write, they would give a book to somebody.
They'd call it, the best what they call it,
the book, the ratings book, is because they give you a book
and they'd ask you every 15 minutes
to write down what you were listening to and if you were listening to the radio. So you get paid
a certain amount of money for every 15 minutes that you were awake. You'd write down exactly what
you were doing, what you were watching or what you were listening to. Then have a fellow English, please. In the odds, they came up with this
system where you would wear like a beeper type machine. And that paper did I record what
you were listening to. There was a like, yeah, ping. It was like a silent hum at a frequency
for every channel. If you in the Arbatron system.
And then the beeper would pick up that home that you couldn't hear with the naked ear,
but then it would record how long you were listening to that particular radio station.
But I think it's all just fucking bullshit.
I mean, it was a guy, and there was a guy thinking since an ad, he had famous radio
disc jockey who got busted for handing like thousands of dollars of cash to people who
had ratings books
to for them to write all day long. And then there was another guy who got busted with one of the
he had like a collection of the beepers and he was just setting them out in front of this radio show
every time. I'm a dog collar. Yeah, it's all just fucking bullshit. He's thinking there's really 53
million people following Kim Kardashian. There's probably 10 million people following Kim Kardashian.
Other so hot. Yeah, but they'll pay her. she gets paid a million dollars for each of those drops.
Speaking of things that are unbelievable, we had a request from one of our listeners I
thought I'd comply to the request.
Okay.
I don't want to lose that one listener.
I'm afraid that our ratings are going to go down.
We're on shaky ground.
Our ratings book is zero, zero, zero point zero.
Do you remember animal house?
I remember the Mary, but did they say that?
Animal house, the Dean of Students calls all the boys in
that are in this animal house. And he's going through
and saying, I'm going to kick your fraternity off,
you know, whatever for good, fair amount college for good.
Mr. Blutowski, who is the, who was John Belushi's character?
Mr. Blutowski, do you have any idea what your creed point average is?
And John Belushi's kind of gives this, you know, John Belushi look and he goes, zero point zero.
That's what we're working with too.
Yeah, that's commercial break.
Zero point zero. Oh, that's what we're working with too. Yeah, that's commercial break.
Zero point zero.
I got a request from a listener that said,
could you please, would you please do you mind
if you might do a monster hunters for me and my son?
Is it a good old monster?
Good old mom and her son listening to the commercial break.
So I thought you're an idiot.
Why not?
Absolutely.
It's a bonding moment.
I was just in picturing this like five-year-old like,
Oh, fuck, your sound.
Mommy.
Bestie here.
What's up, Pizzle?
Can I really taste stuff with my balls?
So I thought this one is for you.
Sandra and her son that remains unnamed, but a couple
weeks ago, they did text and they said, hey, can you do a monster hunters for us?
That's why we would love that.
It would be our pleasure to do a monster hunters.
We love monster hunters.
Also, here we catch up with the boys in a cornfield.
Uh, you don't say.
You don't say cornfield.
There are neither a cornfield or a forest.
Cornfield of forest or a swamp.
One of the three things.
But it's always in the eastern Kentucky area.
Because I think that's only legally
where there are a lot of films.
I think these kind of shenanigans are frowned upon
in other parts of the world.
But here they are.
Is this the one with the cornfield?
Yes, it's one of the cornfield.
I got two of them loaded up here,
just in case we need an extra one.
In case we get to it.
But well, at least finish this one, I promise.
These are the boys in the cornfield.
You know the Monster Hunter's Huck,
Buck, Chuck, and Fock are on a Larry,
and their cameraman, Billy.
His Billy.
Oh, God, that didn't realize you're gonna do another one of these.
Every time you guys do an episode, I end up sleeping on the couch.
Sorry, Billy.
That's okay.
You got them out and do back there?
Hey, all you TCB fans.
Super excited to let you know that the commercial break is now available on video on Spotify.
All you have to do is go to Spotify and search for the commercial break
live. It's two different channels right now, so search for the commercial break live and
the video episode will be posted one day after the audio version, which you can still find
at the commercial break. When you search any podcast player, go to tcbpodcast.com. Get more
information about Chrissy and I. You can listen to all the audio,
you can watch all the video right from there, you can also connect with us on social media,
at the commercial break on Instagram, and youtube.com slash the commercial break is still the only
place to find every single piece of video that the commercial break has ever done. Go there,
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and you have an interesting story to tell, let us know that too.
Chrissy and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for taking a moment to leave a review
on your favorite podcast player, and it really does help grow the show.
We could not be more grateful.
Also, you can help us by using our sponsors, specialize URLs or codes.
Anytime you hear them on the show, you get free shit,
it tells our sponsors we're doing our job.
It's like sending us a tip for all this mediocre content
we've been creating for you.
And now, if you don't mind, we'll take a few minutes
to hear from our sponsors, and we'll be right back
with this episode of The Commercial Break.
You know what would be nice with these videos? Sound.
Oh yeah, that's always helpful.
Yeah, because since it's a podcast, we figured we'd add the sound in.
All right, here we go.
What's that?
What's that?
What's that?
What?
Ah!
What?
What?
I still don't say that to Joe.
I know.
I know.
I know. I know. I say that to Joe.
I say it to people they don't know what I'm talking about.
Willie Bill jumping the back and once you guys giving us a bird's eye view.
All right.
When you start watching a V formation in the back of the cornfield,
I'm going to be in a round type formation
You guys in the back
The edges of this corn
See if we can't spot hot or maybe he'll see us
Huckleberry, yeah, no, it's hook
Huckleberry that one of the team members is lost with the camera
Yeah, they're lost Huck, Huckaberry, that one of the team members is lost. Oh. With the camera and the car field. Lost?
Yeah, they're lost.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, Huckaberry.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. I'm here to something on the radio about being lost! Are we lost? I'm scared now, Huck.
Something out here.
When you say something, do you mean the whole camera crew with the lighting rig?
Are you talking about something else? I just want to know what to be prepared for.
Every time you guys say something like that, I shit my pants.
I run the other way, you don't know.
way you don't want to point out the obvious, but I think that might be your own feet walking around. I
Can hear the rustle around in the core. Everyone's in a wow. This is amazing to me. Do you think people actually this by the way This show is still on I didn't know that I thought they've been off the air for years now
They're still producing new episodes on the travel channel
Do you think that people actually sit home and watch this and are literally anxious,
like they're scared of what's gonna happen next?
Maybe.
Are you think so?
Yeah, but I think there's a high entertainer.
I want to meet those people.
Those are the people I want to have on our radio show,
on our little podcast.
Our radio show.
Arbitron.
Arbitron, we made shit up.
Yeah. Arbitron we made shit up. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha By the way, Huckleberry is in the middle of a cornfield. The cameraman is as close to Huckleberry as he could possibly be.
There is clearly a light, a big bright light on.
So, and Huckleberry is carrying a shotgun, a rifle,
which by the way, I mean, let's just be honest about it.
If there was a real threat on any of these episodes,
don't you think that someone would have been shot already?
Like a creature would have been shot?
Yes, and they would have filmed it. There's an orb.
Huckleberry!
Huckleberry!
Huckleberry!
Dinner time!
Chal time!
We caught a dolphin over here in the cornfield!
You got anything on a thermal? Where'd you go, Huckleberry?
Hey Huckleberry! I always think I can think it's maybe in his You got anything on a thermal? Where'd you go, fuck? Hey, Hank!
Huckaboo!
I was the only thing I could think is maybe in his mind he thought he was taking a shortcut.
Hey!
What the?
What is that?
What the hell is this?
Whoa!
What is that?
Looks remarkably like a human being!
Well, those of you who are listening to this,
why are you catching it on youtube.com slash the commercial break,
for those of you listening to this,
what has happened is the riding down up the path inside of the corn field.
Like a gator.
Yeah, what they have come up on is what looks like a man dressed as a scarecrow.
But I mean, they're screaming all of what is that?
What is that?
It's a person.
What do you think it is?
Writing the script for this
Okay, when you guys see the scare crew type figure what I want you to do is your yell
What is that a lot can you handle that let me get into character what is that
How's that yeah, that's good. That's good. Okay. Now everybody else screaming at the same time, too
Stupid what is that it's a person with a trench coat on Who was that? Who was that? Who was that? Who was that? Who was that?
Who was that?
Did you see that?
What was that?
Who was that man wearing a mask?
We're driving along that corner.
And I think the man wearing a mask.
I think that's exactly what it was.
What was that?
Hurry up, follow him.
So stupid, so stupid.
Can Prahuckleberry and all of a sudden, right up in front of us.
Oh!
What the, some man standing there,
it looks like a damn scare crew.
What the hell are they doing out here?
I don't know, but we're gonna find out.
Go in easy.
That's Care Crew took off right in there.
Go in easy.
Go in easy.
That's probably something much.
Dude, Bob there has said many a time.
Go in easy, boys. It's not Huckleberry. Look at a time go in easy boys.
I'll go very.
I'll go very.
Go in easy.
We're gonna chase after him.
Why not?
That's the point of the show, isn't it?
Get ourselves in more trouble.
Like if you had seen a man,
if you're really in the middle of a field,
chasing whatever monster flavor of the day you're chasing,
whatever part of the world you're in,
and you saw a man with a mask on that looks super, you know, intimidating.
Like a scary man with a mask.
It just runs into the face.
Would you follow him?
No.
For one reason.
No, it makes good television though, doesn't it?
Cornfield, we need to get after and figure out what the hell he's doing out here.
We need to get after him and figure out what the hell he's doing out here. We're gonna get after him and ask him a few questions.
We're gonna be holding to the coat of the monster hunter to get to the bottom of
exactly why this man is wearing a trench coat in the middle of a corn field.
We're not eggsucker go to man he was moving like a rabbit when he jumped in here.
Looks like a man dressed up like a scare crook Listen, you can hear it way in the distance
Hey guys, speed, dress up like a scare crook
That's a scare crook
I'm like a scare crook
I'm like a scare crook
I'm like a scare crook
I'm like a scare crook
I'm like a scare crook
I'm like a scare crook
I'm like a scare crook
I'm like a scare crook I'm like a scare crow. Listen, you can hear it way in the distance. Hey guys,
speed, dress up like a scary crow. That's a scary crow if I've ever heard of it. That's an Eastern
Kentucky crow crow. Crow crow. That's a crow crow if I've ever heard of it. They've been
around the walls of cavemen have been riding on the walls about the crow crow's for eons
They run through with their dickies on and their boots and they go hey, it's me
It's the mating call of the crow crow
It's the Clarkson County cocoa
Here's something running down What was that? I didn't expect that.
What was that laughing?
It's the crow crow.
So what happened is they're in the cornfield looking for the crow crow the Clarkson County crow crow the four C the C times four
They're looking for him and all the sudden he comes out any grabs buck. He just grabs it from behind and laughs
Hey guys all this screaming and turning around
is making it real hard to see the Crow Crow.
What did you mind doing me a favor?
Just stand still for one second.
Let me get a photograph of the Crow Crow,
so I don't lose my job.
What's that?
What is it?
What is it?
What happened?
Ow!
Who is that?
I know, that's crazy.
It's horrible.
They're just layering noises together. BAM! Go, go pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, pah, p Clare and yonder You went clear on a yonder
Clear on a yonder if I'm like in the middle of a cornfield and I'm like which way did they go? And you say clear on a yonder I'm gonna be like where the fuck is yonder?
Which
Vet yonder which yonder how it there's there's four possible yonder's maybe eight
He's going back into the core back in corn down here. He's cutting back up in again
What the hell is this out of a bitch doing that's care crew. He runs like a white tail deer. I couldn't even get close to him
He hit me like a sledgehammer. Oh, no, she's cleaning the gym
Almost stuck me down. Why are you?
Oh, yeah
Hey guys, am I supposed to be yelling too?
That sucker ran like a white tail day you notice that they always compare it to like an animal
Yeah, he was jumping like a bunny when with some he was running clear
cross like a white tail deer. That was like, fuck on Red Bull. I'm picturing a victory juice. Some guy
that maybe heard they were coming to film and was like, look, I'm really fuck with them. Oh yeah,
you guys really want to get that scare.
Hey honey, go get the big scary blood stained cloak that I got out there. You don't mind grab me the
scarecrow head from out in the cornfield. I'm gonna run around these boys punch one in the
I'm gonna run around like a white tail deer out there see they can catch me.
He's running like a toad slow.
Don't listen listen.
Go go back in there.
Listen, listen, listen.
Go, go, go. Back in there.
Go, go.
Back here, I got something for you.
Now we're mad and we're gonna hunt this punk now.
Listen, what is that?
Now we're mad and we're gonna murder him live on TV.
You done fucked with the wrong monster hunters.
We've got guns that may or may not have bullets in them.
Or a gun.
Hard. Everybody goes silent. No talking.
Talk.
Move forward, nice and easy.
I thought you said no talking.
Oh, ho ho ho ho.
Wait, are we supposed to be talking or not? I'm not sure.
I'm not clear of the instructions
Hey guys on that whole no talking thing does that mean you don't want to say anything and by the way which way is yonder?
Oh my gosh, they're still in the cornfield. This is some... Yeah. Somebody walk in about 20 yards a band.
Let's go white-out.
No talking.
We can hear some noise a band.
Lights out so we can't see where we're going.
And no talking so you don't know where the other person is.
That way, if you shoot somebody, you won't be entirely sure that you're aiming in the right direction
Okay, great plan buck. Let's go execute do it
Run like a white day of these
Just a few rows over that has to be that little creep of a scare crow
We're gonna slip in there and I'm gonna get some revenge
We're gonna slip in there and I'm gonna get some revenge. We're gonna slip in there and I'm gonna literally stab him to death.
Oh, Cree.
We're gonna slip in there and I'm gonna cut off his left leg with a saw.
Was that a huckleberry?
Oh, that's huckleberry. They're gonna shoot Huckleberry.
You got kind of bad breath and I'm not sure about the shower situation in your house,
but it doesn't seem so good to me. If you don't mind. I'm gonna say coronavirus is this like the COVID-6.
You know what I'm talking about?
It's like, I think some guy was talking about it on TV.
And by the way, is anybody checked on the other Earth of people with guns?
Just make sure they are not also shooting in this direction.
I don't want to point out.
Yeah, I think that's what's going to happen.
Right?
Yeah. To each other. What is I think that's what's gonna happen. Right? Yeah, I'm running to each other.
What is that?
Oh, that's Taco Berry.
It's Taco Berry.
Oh, we killed a Taco Berry, where?
I didn't shit.
We lost another one.
We lost another one.
Casting call for Montezer Hunter season 30.
Long-haired beard with a straw hat and a southern draw. We'll just call him Huckleberry.
We lost the third Huckleberry. It's an unfortunate crow crow axe.
It seems that everyone was a little confused as to where Yonder was and we just started shooting in the general Yonder direction.
Well, Huckleberry was over Yonder!
Huckleberry 3!
Huckleberry 3!
He was a good Huckleberry.
He was with us for half an episode.
But he may not have been so great at his job.
He got lost right away, so we figured away figure well there's another huckleberry somewhere
Overalls with the whole knee you know the type
Someone called travel channel casting tell them to get us a new huckleberry
We'll edit it together.
Let's see, let's see.
Coco!
Coco!
I can hear a mocking.
Let's go over here.
It's just like an episode of This is like an episode of Sanford and Sonner. I mean how cheap that you could just find a cornfield and
That's what I've been saying this whole time. Is it travel channel could do this forever?
You just find an empty field at the owner fifty bucks say we're gonna be screaming a lot
We'll have two maybe three camera guys
We'll have two, maybe three camera guys and two fake gums. Maybe three Huckleberries.
If you find a body, don't worry about it.
It's just part of the shooting.
Perfectly normal.
Just throw some dirt over him.
Makes for great corn fertilizer.
You'll get eaten by the crow crow, don't worry about it.
It's gonna be that scary crow. I wanna get him this time.
We're gonna get him this time.
What is Huckleberry doing?
It's like he's counting the heads of corn.
He's like, one, two,
there's a lot of corn here.
Three, four. Do you think the mind if I take one?
Yeah, he's just pointing.
I know, he's just pointing.
He's like, I'm getting kind of hungry which one is these looks good
By the way, have you ever had rock horn?
Don't it's a most of it's used for gasoline in it's just go oh my god. Yeah
Terran off yep. Oh, yeah, yeah, here we go. Yeah
They're all gonna meet in the middle.
Yeah they caught a little very. Yeah they caught a littleberry. Yeah, they caught Huckleberry. Yeah, another case solve here at Monster Hunter. But there's one in the book,
boys, we did our job.
We lost Huckleberry, we found Huckleberry.
I got assaulted by Crow Crow.
I'm in any other five years of therapy
for the Crow Crow attack,
but at least we found Huckleberry.
But I'm the new one, yeah.
No, no, no, no, we didn't kill him.
We just maimed him.
He looks, he looks, Huckleberry looks like he's been drinking
too much mooch out.
It does.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh, Huckleberry.
Where you being at, jarhead?
We jump forward.
Jarhead?
Jarhead?
Jarhead?
Jarhead?
Jarhead?
Where you been, spoon face?
Where'd you go to, Tupperware knows?
I was chasing the crow crow with Billy over here.
I told him we should have left the lights out.
I don't know what everybody's thinking about.
It's Hawk.
He jumps out at us, we about shoot each other.
Don't let anybody fool ya. Hawkuck, he can move like a ninja.
I don't know that he's moving like a ninja. He's moving like my mom with her walker.
I think he's moving more like a ninja. I don't know. I got a pigeon with a broken wing.
I got a pigeon with a broken wing
This way I got drilled up in this corn
Listen you ain't gonna believe what we had happened to us tonight
We get our ass you got five minutes. Let me explain
What no one talks like that you wouldn't believe what happened to us tonight
Let me start at the beginning. We lost a guy named Huck.
And who is my big old scaracrote?
Well, we thought the hell you was.
He got me, Jeff Bro. Ann Buck, all three Wattas, like bowling pins. Wattas. Caraclos is not supposed to be alive, right?
Well, one second, let me Google that.
Right? Pfft. Well, one second, let me Google that. Right? According to scientific research, scarecrows are filled with hay.
Oftentimes, made to scare away birds of prey and other nuisance in a cornfield.
However, every once in a while, you mistake a huckleberry for a crow crow.
The legend of the crow crow states that every once in a while the
crow get off the scare crow will get off his stick looking for
dinner. And on female crow crow to lay down for the night with
it is said that the crow crow can be suved by the sound of Netflix
starting off.
And a large double cheeseburger
from Mac Thump.
I thought I was pretty sure that
it's a person.
We need to get out of this corn.
Let's go.
I'm saying it's going to find
this.
I finally someone talking to him since 300 episodes
in and Huckleberry said something I agree with. Huckleberry number three don't take no shit.
He's had enough and so have I. I want to get back to craft services. They have mac and cheese I'm
really into. Stuff like a scarecrow out here. This happened for a reason.
It's keep working this way.
Keep your eyes peeled.
Huck, I'm glad to get back with you brother.
Well, it's good to know that that buck, the guy leading the charge here,
it's good to know that he's a spiritual person.
He is everything happens for his.
Everything happens for a reason.
Exactly. If we hadn't been here shooting this ridiculous show,
the middle of the court, we would have never saw a croco in real life.
We never saw a man running around.
Don't say that. He's the Clarkston County Crow Crow. He's come down off his stick to make friends.
Oh, listen, listen, listen. You hear that? I saw that. Well, that was not a friend real
not. Do you hear that? That's sound effect. That's you hear that. That's the K-Mart special life.
Do you hear that? That's an iPhone. Over there near the trailer where we shoot our show.
Oh, just gonna text. You hear that? I got a calendar invite.
Do you hear that? my Facebook messenger is going off
You hear that a clubhouse room is opening
That's gotta be that guy is a scarecrow
There's only one person that could have been that creepy scarecrow
We need to take after him and find out what he wants. How you have heard it? What are you?
Why are we all yelling so much?
Everyone's yelling, I know.
He especially yelled the most.
I mean, they all yell, but he is, I got 11 all the time.
He is like my son.
He's at an 11, but I think that's the purposefully increase the stress level.
Right.
It's supposed to make you anxious and scared.
It's really just funny to me.
Yes.
Set that son of a good old fire.
Yeah.
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no The old Mazda Hunter's back in the beginning of this they were just having fun. They just wanted to see something now
They're up for revenge. They are
Easy easy. Let's all 12 of us pack into this golf cart all three hundred thousand pounds of us and see how quick we can chase after
All three hundred thousand pounds of us and see how quick we can chase after
Neal is the crocro and a scare in a golf car. Yes, geez
The crocro knows the crocro knows what's up
We're gonna chase him down. He's in for a hillbilly treat
I don't even know what I know what a hellbilly tree does.
It's a gas station, a hot dog, a monster, and a packer.
Marvel Grids.
That's what a hellbilly tree is.
You never got a hellbilly tree?
I'll give you one a little bit later.
Oh, my God.
A hellbilly tree. And if there's not a definition for it, we will make one up. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's got one of those hundred thousand dollar golf carts you see down in Gabo St. Lucas
This is scarecrow.
The croak collection county croak croak makes better money than I do and I got a television
show.
I prefer high performance.
How are we going to get here?
He's gone right, he's gone right, he's gone right.
I don't even think. I perform it.
Uncle Barry, you run like a white tail deer. Get out and chase him.
How do you get away? You're the fucking golf cart
My son get out run a golf cart and then you have five
300-pound men. Thank you. Yeah, I didn't wait it out of me get away physics. I don't know
The laws of motion. I'm not sure
That side besides gone what he's driving souped up and one
Well over way Well, at least you recognize that's her this way. He didn't go over the hell this way
And instead of tarmer tracks out to here
Go in a cold somewhere did he be a big old hole, business, a bike truck, he's bailed down.
Why don't we be a big old hole?
What antichdotes can I use here?
This show is full of antichdotes.
Uh-huh.
As big as this fast-ass.
Smart as an ninja, fast as a white tail deer,
bouncing like a bunny,
whole like a Titanic, I mean,
I can't take him anymore. He's going to the holler because that's where he wax off.
If you remember, from 300 episodes ago, he said he used to go to the hall or my own so the boys used to go to the hall or new boy things
What exactly were those boy things I'm not sure one can speculate I'll tell you right now what those boy things are so rather disturbing
There's a tree over there. Yeah, there's a there's a tree over by the hour
There's a tree over by the collar. There's a tree over by the collar.
We call it the candle because it looks like it's surrounded with wax.
But it's not wax.
Oh my God.
It's the wax of life, if you don't, I mean.
It's got a gross.
But I don't know something about the smell.
It's me all excited.
I'm going to go whacking in the hauler. got a gross but I don't know something about the smell gets me all excited and I
kind of go a whacking in the hauler I gotta go whacking on the whacking tree
it's almost disrespectful not to whack at the whacking tree figure respects he got to pay
your respects you gotta add to this every time it rains it watches the waves. He had to do it again
The whole town comes out. It's a party
Rour this is
I've ever been all then we got all jacked up when that scared crow started his shenanigans, but at least we found hot
We'd also done a bunch of go game
It's also been doing math for seven to twelve months.
But at least we found Huck.
We don't have to get ourselves a new hook.
Well, what was Jess Cross hanging up on the lend way it was?
Yeah.
Hang.
There it is.
Ooh!
Why was there a fire in that bone?
What? There was fire in that bone? Oh?
There was a fire and oh what what do you what how did you say that? How do you spill that?
What is a fire?
Is that a fire oh?
We didn't see that part no
So we got it let's Let's go over the evidence. Let's recap. All right. We have a gold chain hanging from a stick. That's really weird and a barn fire a barn fire is not The Clarkson County Crow Crow riding $300,000.
Goff mini Jeep Wrangler.
I don't know how we got away, but he did mean why we
got a golf cart from the local municipal golf carts that we borrow.
We're on a budget. Don't you travel channel?
Cut our budget last year
They had to pay some insurance claim or something. I don't know who's all complicated
I thought it was a clean murder, but I guess not they said no murder is
They had to bring in the lawyers from Lexington Kentucky big old city
City slickers came in and ruined everything.
Yeah, this is flesh and blood.
Exactly.
And I want to know why he was out here messing with us.
There's something or missing.
What's good out of here?
And maybe it's the video evidence of anything.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, maybe it's a scientist or someone to verify any of your bullshit.
I don't know.
Some things miss... I feel like every episode of Monster Hunters could probably end this way.
You could probably say,
Sultans missing.
Yeah, like any actual evidence.
I don't know, just like one real piece of video or audio
That would conclude any of this actually happened. No, huh?
Semantics, you know, there's a big sign in the trailer the true the film and trailer that says evidence is overrated
There's no I and team and evidence is overrated. Yeah, it says, if you want the truth,
go to the commercial and bring it.
Okay.
Yeah, there's shows about as real as our show.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love, love, love these monster hunters.
They're so good.
How can you, how can you, how can you get enough?
I mean, two.
Yeah. Yeah. You can never get enough of the monster hunters. They're so good. How can you, how can you, how can you get enough? I mean, two. Yeah.
You can never get enough of the monster hunters.
And so we did that for Sandra and her son.
I hope Sandra and her son are satisfied
that we have appropriately given you the laughs
and giggles that you're used to, the giggle factory over here.
I love, I love one of our recent reviews.
You're too fucking silly for my taste.
Five stars. Yes. People don't fucking silly for my taste. Five stars.
Yeah.
People don't know how to use the Apple Review thing.
I'm convinced of it.
They don't know how to use it.
Can you do the five stars?
They love you.
They give you one star.
They hate you.
They give you five stars.
I don't know.
Maybe it's Apple that does, you know, maybe Apple.
Maybe Apple would love it.
Maybe if you don't leave the stars,
they just give you five stars with the review.
That's true. Yeah, I don't know. Who knows? They just give you five stars with the review. That's true.
Yeah, I don't know.
Oh no, maybe they go zero stars and the Apple's like,
nope, five stars.
Thank you, Apple.
Thank you very much.
OK, well, listen, I guess that's all we can do today.
Another fun-filled episode, the afternoon version
of the commercial, but in case you're wondering.
Chrissy came here six hours early to record
today. I was like dang, Brian really wants to record early.
We had a little miscommunication. I said, why don't you come at 10
till one, which most people would go at 12 50, which I should have
put 12 50. But I said 10 till one.
And I thought we're recording 10 to one and she came at reporting 10 until one
This is not that episode we wait until the afternoon to do a second one figure and well We're gonna throw them in the trash. We might as well do it in the afternoon
Oh
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that the end of the day
That's all that really matters whether or not you're listening. It just matters that we're listening
And hit the website tcbpodcast.com remember you can find all the episodes on video now on
Spotify so this is what I'll say I'll say until next time. I love you. I love you. I love you
Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time we always say we do say and we must say bye! I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad, I'm so sad you