The Commercial Break - EPM In Progress
Episode Date: December 21, 2023If there's two things we love on this podcast it's EPMs and a celtic Christmas vibe! Tina & Bryan get into it while Krissy is away. Best to whoever you are! The Beatles’ grammy Happy Meal pokemon c...ards Country clubbin' Trump and his NFTs Ozempic Drew Barrymore & her Oprah interview The dick finger machine Bryan’s morning press conference EPM in progress! Tina for Mother of the Year! The Pogues Pay for the bar tab at your funeral Bryan’s favorite christmas song Great man, bad teeth (same) We love a celtic vibe! It's a Christmas time warp Bryan the little drummer boy! A new years song Christmas break ups  LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
We'll be friends, we'll be friends
Talking about friends
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
Always be friends, always be friends
Yeah, yeah, friends
Forever
Always be friends
Forever
You'll be friends together
Yes, we always Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes a little sign made, you know?
Get a little, just use the scrunchy roll.
Yeah, EPM in progress.
You know what I'm saying?
And just, EPM in progress.
I just get that.
Hang it out the front door.
Next sticker, EPM in progress.
Right in the book.
There it is.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now
Yeah, Katz again, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian rain. This is the director
tyranny
Chris
I'm sorry
Tina
Tina that's the your data. Oh my gosh, so with so many people, you know, with all the seeds changing, I'm having a hard time
keeping up with the names.
And we got Christina's and Chrissie's and the Ghosts.
Christina's, yeah.
And there's something like embedded into my brain after 6,000 hours of this stupid show
that I'm just like, you know, best to you, Chrissie.
Yeah.
And so your Chrissie's, you know, Tina.
Yeah, best of all of you.
Best of everybody.
Whatever your name is.
So thanks for joining us back in the program.
Chrissy's taking a couple of additional days off
to be with family.
And so Tina has joined me in studio, thank you.
Happy to be here.
Happy to have you.
So happy to have you.
Do you?
How much did you take a guess on something?
If the Beatles willer to sell one of their Grammy awards,
of which they received, I think, a bunch,
if they were to sell one of those Grammy Awards, of which they received, I think, a bunch. If they were to sell one of those on the open market,
take a guess at how much the open market might pay for a Grammy,
one by one of the Beatles.
Uh, 20,000?
20,000!
I don't know.
20,000?
Are you even living under a rock?
Do you know?
Do you?
I'm not talking,
20,000.
Another zero, 20,000.
Really?
I wouldn't pay that for it.
Okay.
I would have thought 20 million.
Like I would have thought this is clearly a prized piece
for any collector, a Grammy won by the Beatles,
handed to one of the Beatles.
But I am wrong.
I am closer to you than I was closer to my own guest,
which is they say it's gonna go for about $500,000,
half a million bucks.
Wow.
To me, that seems like a rather small amount of money
to pay for a Grammy won by the Beatles.
When she think,
I don't know.
Why?
I mean, it's, who does it actually have any value to?
I mean, besides the Beatles himself.
I don't know.
What is a pixelated dick pick have value and people pay
that shit on NFTs all the time?
I don't value things the same way other people do.
I'd rather have a beach house, honestly.
I'd rather have a beach house too.
But if I, if I'm buying a $500,000 Grammy,
it's likely, it's likely I also have a beach house.
Do you know what I'm saying?
There's some expendable cash running around.
Could be a huge investment, you never know.
But I would think that it would go for a lot of money.
It's only worth what someone's willing to pay for it.
Oh god damn, get on the stick guys.
Someone pays some ridiculous amount of money
so we can talk about how you waste your cash.
Please, it's like that with a girl who did the $69.59
million wedding at the Palace of Airside.
Eye control.
And then the guy got, was going to jail.
Going to court, yeah, he's going to jail.
Maybe for the rest of his life.
Insane.
Oh my god, can you imagine?
But you know, I think you're right about this.
There's a huge collectible market.
And there are a lot of people, including professional athletes, investors, hedge funds,
all kind of people who get in on this actions.
Because-
For example, it's huge.
They're selling Pokemon cards for millions of dollars.
I hope my kids have some of those.
Oh my God.
I go to McDonald's.
I don't know.
It was like four months ago, five months ago,
whatever we go through McDonald's,
I get to happy, shit of meal or whatever the kids are eating.
And they have Pokemon cards that they're giving away as the happy meal.
Troy.
So the kids are with their greasy, ketchuped fingers are trying to open those things and
I'm like, God, slow down.
I gotta look this up first.
Yes.
First of all, let's put on, let's put on some cloth gloves.
Let's disinfect the entire area.
Let's get a magnifying glass out.
I need cameras with four angles.
Get into this studio.
Give me the Pokemon.
That's right.
Don't worry about the Pokemon.
You're too young to understand it.
You can't even read.
Yeah.
I was just hoping about it.
I know my kids are like, what's a doodle-boodle?
And I'm like, I don't know how to get now,
but it's worth a million dollars.
We're gonna put it on eBay.
That's right.
That's right.
This is my next Dick Chasey collection.
That's right.
Is Happy Meal Pokemon Cards.
I, in Flabbergasted, that people are paying this kind of money
for these Pokemon cards, but to the Pokemon collecting world,
of which a lot of now professional business people
are getting involved.
It's so crazy.
It's a thing.
If a Pokemon card can go for $14 million. Well,
I had the fuck is Paul McCarty's Grammy not worth at least a million dollars. Yeah. I just
don't understand. Yeah. I would not pay that. That wouldn't be where I would waste my money.
No, but I had 26 children. So I got quite the college fund. I need to get together.
You have plenty of places to put that money. Even if I wanted to, Astrid would be like,
I don't think so, Brian.
I don't think for one fucking second,
you're going to buy anything that is not approved by me first,
because those kids are going to school.
And I don't care what you say about your stupid Grammy.
She would also say, why are we buying a Grammy?
What who's?
For, yeah.
I know.
She said the same thing about the Pearl Jam posters.
I for a hot minute. I was like, ooh, I want to buy this one. Ooh, I'm going to buy that one. I know. She said the same thing about the Pearl Jam posters. I for a hot minute.
I was like, ooh, I want to buy this one.
Ooh, I'm going to buy that one.
You know how much they're worth?
Much less than what I bought them for.
Yes.
Yeah, I'm keeping track on that.
The only collectibles in the world that lose value
are the ones that I start collecting.
And I'm just glad I stayed out of the NFT world
because that would have been a hot disaster had I done that.
The NFTs, those NFTs, I never understood it in the first place.
And I think a lot of people are now coming to the realization
that the NFT concept has a lot of value,
there's value there, something's gonna happen
with the NFT world, it's not going away, it's not going away.
However, trading pixelated art for millions of dollars
makes little to zero cents,
because I can literally take a picture of your board ape
and keep it on my phone if I want it myself.
And the only thing, I don't understand there's perks,
like parties and get together and all that other stuff.
Yes, that's the whole thing about those board apes
that you get to be in the board ape yacht club,
I think is what they call it, or board ape something.
Do you have a yacht?
I would highly doubt that most board apea-click collectors have a yacht.
Maybe they have a glass bottom boat.
Maybe that's a thing they have.
Party barge.
In Texas, really.
That's surprising.
We were talking about a friend who had a job once as a glass bottom boat driver.
Party barge captain.
It was at a party barge.
It was at a party barge.
But we see like in Galveston where you could actually go out into the ocean.
Victoria.
Victoria?
Isn't that like a brackish, weird water in Texas?
Yeah, it's not, I mean, it's not beautiful.
Like when I think of going to like, you know, the white sand beaches of Oculapa, Florida
or something like that, I don't think of going to the white sand beaches of Galveston
Texas.
Galveston Texas.
It's just like an oil refinery or something.
I'm so misinformed, somebody correct me. But I don't think of the beaches of like, you know, Texas.
So glass bottom boat, you're just going out there to drink essentially.
Yeah.
You're going to hope that you find a dead body.
That's to be honest about it.
Everyone's hoping that a dead body shows up and you're all the sudden a part of some true crime
podcast that you can break down and we'll find who killed this lady.
some true crime podcast that you get. That's right.
Break down and we'll find who killed this lady.
So the board apes, the whole concept around board apes
and why they are so still very expensive
is because you belong to an exclusive club
where you get exclusive.
Can't you just join a country club or polo fields?
Yeah.
I think this is our new polo fields.
You know what I'm saying?
I'd be surprised that the country clubs
survived much longer.
I mean, it's a horrible amount of money to pay to show up.
I mean, I guess you have a bar, you know.
I guess it's your like your own bar.
I, whatever people are into.
I guess.
But I don't know about the country clubs.
That's not for me.
But then again, I don't have enough money
to get into a country club.
So, yeah, me either.
I just don't ever think about country clubs.
Also, not sure that's where I would waste my money if I could.
Only if it was like there was a good reason to do it.
You know what I'm saying?
All of my friends were already part of the country club.
Every single one of my friends was already a part of the country club.
There was a blow job station or some glory hole in the clubhouse or something like that.
There's a big blow job. Yeah, the blow job carry, okay, that's right.
Caki, okey.
Caki, okey.
Somebody would have to present me with a some kind of fantastic perk in order for me to
pay a yearly fee.
And then on top of that annual dues and all this other stuff, we belonged one time to
like a beach club.
We had some property, we belonged to the beach club
that was in the neighborhood.
And I just didn't at the end of the day
see the value in it.
It had a pool.
The community association.
Yeah, the community association.
But it was like a little bit more exclusive than that.
Like you had to pay a little bit of extra money
to get into this particular beach club.
And yeah, you had beach chairs whenever you needed them,
but you can go to Walmart and buy beach chairs.
You know what I'm saying? You can, but you have to drag those out yourself.
Well, I see that I've been known as a very lazy person,
but I think I can drag the beach chairs.
I'm that dad.
I'm paying the 40 bucks.
I'm not taking the chairs.
The cooler is enough.
Well, when I go, well, this was, we had a home there, right?
We had a place there.
So, you know, that we were renting out when we weren't there,
but or condo is probably small.
You should be kind of built in the 50s.
But I was that dad.
I was carrying everything on my back.
I did that for a few years.
But I'm with you.
If I go on vacation, this is where I spend my money.
Not on a Grammy, but I would,
I will not for a second think twice
about paying that person $10 on the beach,
$20 on the beach so that I can go ahead and get my little corner of paradise.
Yes.
In the front row.
Set my umbrella.
That's it.
I mean the chairs.
Yep.
I want shade.
Yep.
If you can bring a cocktail to those who want one, I certainly would appreciate it, but
that's not your style.
That's okay.
We'll bring our own.
Like, well, we went to Spain.
You go to Spain and there are some beaches
where the local government allows a private company
to sell the chairs on these beautiful beaches in Spain, right?
So there's, you know, you know, 10 euros,
10 euros per chair, maybe you can get 40 euros,
you can get a little umbrella
with a couple of different chairs, you know,
like a little area.
Yeah.
And then they have the government run chairs, which are outward 24 hours a day and they have
someone that comes around, cleans them up and makes them appropriate, but you actually
put the money in a box like you would in an old parking lot, right?
Okay.
Tell me which number.
Yeah, the honor system.
And then you get a little key and then that key has a little locker on the back of the
umbrella so you can do it on it.
That is like two years.
It's nothing.
That's crazy.
I wish our great United States would do that.
It would great United States would not do that.
That's why we need America to be great again, kids.
Speaking of NFTs, Donald Trump's on his second NFT collection.
Did you see that?
He's like, you know, help support my legal defense fund, help support the legal defense
fund by buying these great NFTs.
And they're all like caricatures drawn of Trump.
But the difference in this like series too,
this I read the fine print by the way,
and I want you to hear this.
So these Trump cards are announced sometime
over the last couple of weeks.
Go to this website, you can buy one,
or you can buy 47 of them
because he was the 47,
the president, right? If you buy the whole collection, which is 47, then you get a piece,
a strip of the clothing that Donald Trump wore to be jailed here in Atlanta. So he took the suit
and he cut it it up. Yeah, my beautiful suit is sitting everywhere.
You know, my beautiful suit is in tatters.
And I'm ready to send it to you.
And somehow is more entertaining to me than the Grammy.
A piece of Trump's jailwear?
A piece of Trump's jailwear.
He says it's the single most important artifact
in American history because he will never surrender.
However, I think he fails to understand
that the suit that he wore to surrender to jail
is not the never surrender doesn't work.
I don't care what your political lemings are.
That's just clear as day.
You did surrender and now you're shredding up the suit
and selling it.
Okay, whatever.
You got some legal bills that are clearly mounting.
Yeah.
So fine, whatever.
47 cards, piece of the clothing,
and you get to go down to a party at Mar-a-Lago.
Okay.
Now, there you go.
This is an NFT.
This is what we're talking about, right?
There's perks to this.
And I can clearly see this is going to sell out lickety split.
Surely.
I don't know how many pieces you get out of a suit.
It's like 99 bucks per card or something like that.
Okay.
So you know, it pays spend $5,000.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's been $5,000.
You get it in invite to Marlago.
They make it clear they're paying for nothing, except for the dinner that you attend.
They also make it clear that you cannot resell the cards at least for one year.
What about the piece of the suit?
Because here's where I think the real money is.
This is where the money is.
Because how many pieces of a suit could you really get out of there?
Honestly.
He's a big boy.
It's true.
And is it the shirt, the tie?
He says the suit.
Just the suit.
That's what he said in this video that he made to introduce it.
But I've got to imagine that if they sell well, he's going all the way
down to the underwear. You know what I'm saying? And that's where the real money is.
Then you're going to pay like $10,000 a card. The confiscated. That's right. It depends
whatever it is. He's going to go all the way. He's going to go all the way. Well, she's
coming after Donald's. Be careful, Donald. There are some weird people out there that might
go in your favor. You could sell that one thing. She would smell that for at least a week. That goes for $500,000.
That goes for half a million. And I can see paying half a million for that.
It's on with what diapers the diaper that I pissed in as I was surrendering to never surrender.
Oh, gross. And that's as close as we get to politics on the show, kids. That's right, guys. You know, listen, I get it.
He has to raise money to, he should have illegal defense.
That absolutely should be something he should do.
What piece of clothing could you sell to raise money?
Oh, I don't know.
The safe fairers shirt that never seems to get off my back
that has permanent sweat stains and de-oat smells like my de-oat-erant.
Even after I wash it, that's what I could sell.
And unfortunately, I just don't think we're getting $99 for that. I mean, after I wash it, that's what I could sell.
And unfortunately, I just don't think we're getting $99 for that.
I mean, I guess I can try that up.
We could try.
I'd give it all the charity.
I don't know what charity,
this charity, the commercial break, charity commercial break.
Feed the commercial break.
I think I could probably sell the save fair shirt.
I think that's one thing that anybody who watched the YouTube,
but unfortunately no one watches the YouTube, so there we go.
146 views.
146 views.
I fart and get more views.
It's my favorite comment of all time.
It's my favorite comment of all time,
to which I really wanted to respond.
I agree.
Tell us.
Tell us the secret.
Yes, tell the YouTube to stop shadow banning.
I think this is the thing.
I think we got shadow ban for some reason or another.
Maybe it's all the TLC shit that we put on.
I mean, I don't know. Who knows, but it's very strange. It's very strange.
So we put out this video on Steve O and over the course of a couple days, it just didn't go anywhere like it didn't. Nothing. Some of our one of our videos has like, I don't know,
170,000 views, but most of them a large majority of them get less than 5,000 views.
Because either no one watches it or we're shadowed,
and that's the only thing I can think of.
There are much dumber podcasts out there to get much more views.
And I'm saying that, knowing how just how terrible we are.
So very mediocre.
Extremely mediocre.
We ride the edge.
I think sometimes we get a laugh, but most of the time we're just dumb.
And so some guy, there couple hundred views and some guy says, I get more views when
I record when I record a fart. I agree with you, bro. I agree with you.
It's just audio unless he's actually recording, you know, the actual. Yeah. The patootie thing.
Yeah. Yeah. The patudy thing. The same.
Listen, I get it.
And by the way, I think that's going to be our, he's our new lead writer on the show.
He's funnier than we are.
All right, let's take our first break.
I got lots more to talk about.
And Tina's here with me. So grateful to have you on the chair, Tina.
So happy to be here.
Okay, we'll take a short break. And then we will, uh, yeah, we'll come back.
Why not?
Ha, ha.
Look, I know you guys are getting really sick of me, but that is too bad.
It's my job.
Now go to tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio and video content, and get your little
booty over to youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited video
episodes. Want a chat? Leave us a voice mail at 626-ask-tcv3 to embarrass for your voice to be on the show.
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And if you can't even be seen doing that, just listen to these sponsors and let's get back to the show.
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All right, and we're back with Tina.
Hi, Brian.
The commercial break.
I love how Dr. Phil said our name.
The commercial break.
All right, Doc Phil, thanks for sharing it.
Hey, speaking of Doc Phil, what do you think about ozambic?
Oh, I think it should be pulled from the market.
You think it should be pulled from the market?
You feel that strongly about it?
Yeah, I have my cousin passed away at the top of the year
from an ozambic situation.
You're kidding me.
No, I'm not.
What happened if you mind sharing?
Well, she was on it.
She started having like heart flutters.
She's 38 years old.
Popitations and stuff like that.
So her dad is, my godfather actually,
a surgeon here in Atlanta.
And he was like, stop the ozombic immediately.
She stopped it.
The heart flutters went away.
She thought, ah, I'll start it now.
Yeah.
And she went into cardiac arrest.
And they couldn't get to her fast enough
because her dog was out of the crate.
So when the paramedic showed up,
he tried to attack them. No, they waited for animal control before dog was out of the crate. So when the paramedic showed up, he tried to attack them.
No, they waited for animal control
before they even went in the house.
Oh, Jesus, Jones, you're kidding me.
No, isn't that like a dereliction of duty
or something serious?
Oh, I'm like, I'm serious, that's a fair, it was, yeah.
That's, is there a lawsuit?
I hope sometimes with someone.
No. Okay, all right.
Well, I understand, this is a tough situation,
sticky situation.
Yeah.
You know, ozempic, I know, I have friends that are on ozempic, and I've not used it and
no one that I know super close like.
They're saying like 12 people a day are dying from it.
I just watched a special on 60 minutes Australia about a gentleman who had a wife.
The kid, their daughter was getting married.
The wife really wanted to fit into a dress.
And so for six months, she was all on ozemic.
And she was constantly throwing up,
constantly having diarrhea,
constantly having problems, headaches,
and stomach issues, and heart palpitations,
and all this other stuff.
And she went to the doctor, the doctor was like,
you gotta, went to the doctor
that was not prescribing her ozemic.
And he's like, listen, I suggest you stop the ozemic
because it's not, we don't really know
all the ramifications of taking it in
this manner and it may be causing a lot of your issues, but she just refused because she wanted to
get in that dress and she was losing weight. So husband, I think this, the story goes woke up one day,
makes some coffee, gets some breakfast, wife's not out of bed yet, he goes upstairs and she's
aspirated on her own puke. And so, and he was just too late.
He had to savor.
And I have friends who are on Ozempic who also are one of them made a joke.
She said, I don't know, I was going over to see Chrissy or something and some friends were
coming along and one of the friends was on Ozempic and I said, hey, listen, I'll stop
I can get some donuts, you can bring some coffee, whatever.
And she said, yeah, bring the donuts,
I shouldn't eat them, but don't worry,
ozembike will take care of it.
And she had like this, you know,
she put this like emoji of, or this picture of,
you know, poop sliding down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A slide, right?
And I was like, oh, okay, well, you know,
I guess that's okay.
Yeah.
And so I don't know all the medical ramifications
of taking ozembike, but now I've got friends that are taking it.
So I know it's a very popular thing to do.
Because when my friends start taking it, you know, then the trend is definitely,
the latest way to, yeah, that's right.
It's so, but lots of people are losing weight on it also.
And one of the people who has been questioned about that is Oprah.
And so Oprah recently said, listen, I've done shaming other people. I take ozemic along with eating right and doing exercise.
And I don't want to be shamed about it.
I'm not going to shame anybody else about it.
Like it's part of my medical, you know, part of what I do is my medical regimen, my health
care.
And who amongst us wouldn't like to lose 10 to 15% of our body weight?
Sure.
Right?
But I also sense that there probably is no good short cut to that.
There is not.
You just probably have to eat right exercise.
Yeah.
So, I'll exercise if your body around.
Yeah.
And then I think there probably are medical cases where it's clear that some kind of medical
inner-
You can take allies.
I think allies, one of the better ones out there.
Oh, the allies?
Yeah. We're not pitching these by the way.
I just think, yeah.
There are some things you can take
that are not as tragic as EMPIC.
Yeah, well, here's the hope and, you know,
they figure out what's going on with EMPIC
so that they can...
I just don't know how I got on the market
without with all these problems.
It's a diabetes drug and people realize
that they were losing weight on it.
Like, they were losing their appetite.
They didn't want to eat as much.
They were losing weight.
And so there you go.
Off label.
I think it's still off label, isn't it?
I don't think that the FDA has approved doesn't like for weight loss.
I don't know.
No, no, not for weight loss for diabetes.
For diabetes.
For diabetes.
Right.
And one diabetes if I'm not mistaken because that's why my cousin was taking it.
And isn't there people who actually need that medication?
Like you know what I'm saying?
Yeah. It's just being, just being erroneously prescribed perhaps.
Well, if you're on a Zemepic, good luck to you
and your weight loss journey.
I'm not here to determine whether or not
that's good for you or not good for you.
And I'm not here to tell you to take it or not take it.
And I don't care, like my personal feelings are,
if that's where you feel you are, go for it,
just be aware that there may be some side effects.
So here's what led me to think about Oprah in the first place. That's where you feel you are, go for it, just be aware that there may be some side effects.
So here's what led me to think about Oprah in the first place.
Did you see this Drew Barrymore interview that Oprah did?
No.
Oprah went on Drew Barrymore's show.
And I don't know if you, and by the way, love Drew Barrymore.
Love Drew.
I think Drew is just a kind, gentle soul.
She's a scattered hot mess, but so am I. So the both of us are
peas and a pot. But she goes on this, Oprah goes on Drew Barrymore, and Drew has this couch
where she sits with some of her guests. And when she sits with those guests, she gets like
really super close to them. She like puts one knee up on the couch, and then she moves in,
and on occasion she'll do the touching,
the knee or the shoulder, whatever. She grabbed Oprah's hand at the beginning of the interview and
would not let it go. You could even see at one point Oprah pulled her hand away and Drew grabbed
the other hand. She just adjusted her grip. Now Oprah claims that she did not feel any discomfort,
but I think it's pretty clear from the video tape,
which I'm not gonna show here
because it's the Drew Barrymore show,
and I don't wanna cease and to assist notice.
But it's clear to me that Oprah looks uncomfortable
by a Drew just-
It's a people your hand draw back.
That is definitely a sign of discomfort.
How strange.
How strange.
Oprah is probably not used to having people
physically interact with her, like that, right?
I'm sure Oprah has this probably Pavlovian response
to people reaching out to touching her,
which is leave me alone.
Because when you're that famous,
Yeah, no touchy.
No touchy.
No ticky, no tacky, no touchy, no whatchy, you know?
That's why she bought a whole island in Hawaii or whatever
She wants to get away from people not being near them and she's like probably the most famous woman on earth
I would guess
And maybe the most famous people on earth and this whole interview is just a little bit cringe
And I wonder what's going through Drew's head and not that she can't touch Oprah
I mean, that's up to her then I guess guess. But I just wonder what's going through her head
why she has to get so physical with her guests.
She did the same thing with Jada Pigant Smith.
When she came on, she was like really up in our face,
very close.
Is she like a needy for human connections?
I think so.
Yeah, she might be.
Drew kind of had a rough start.
Yeah, was she really doing blue at nine?
Yeah. Or something?
Yeah, when you do blue at nine,
you're probably gonna have some adult therapy
as you know what I'm saying.
When you're gonna hang out with ET,
that had to be traumatizing at four.
I am traumatized by ET to this day.
There are scenes in ET that I don't wanna watch
because it takes me back to my childhood
when I was really scared.
All those tubes coming out of the house,
like that made me just, it was, you know, kind
of like shuffling around.
I always felt it very unnerving.
But she also grew up in the 80s when she was a child star in the 80s.
There was like a whole brat pack of kids that were running around just doing drugs and
drinking at such a young age.
Because all their parents were wasted at the party as well.
Yeah, they were.
Nobody was paying attention.
No.
Yeah, she was in like rehab at 13 or something.
Yeah, we just watched, Chrissy and I just watched, we did like a little Cory Feldman breakdown.
Yeah.
And Cory was talking about, she was saying, when I got sober, you weren't quite sober,
but you were there for me.
It was a safer place than some of the, I could go to you because you were a safer place
than some of the other people that I was around.
And Corey was like, yeah, I went in to rehab,
out of rehab, in to rehab, out of rehab,
not permanently out of rehab, he must be.
But to be given cocaine at age nine,
yeah, I think that probably causes, you know.
Some attachment issues.
Some attachment issues. And then I think she had a rough relationship with her mother, her father, some attachment issues. Some attachment issues.
And then I think she had a rough relationship
with her mother or her father or something like that.
Probably all of them.
I love Drew.
I think there's, you know, good for her in the show
and you know, what a, what kind of like a renaissance
of her career.
But you don't have to be so fucking close to people.
Yeah, that's, I don't like touching people.
Especially after the COVID times,
we don't do that anymore.
It's so weird to think that just two years ago,
we were six feet apart with masks on
everywhere that we went.
Hugging became a no-no.
Hugging, touching.
I thought the handshake would go the way of the dodo bird.
It did.
It did.
I still know a lot of people that only do the knuckle bump.
They only do the knuckle at the fist bump, huh?
No more.
No more sexy handsies.
Yeah.
Well, when you think about it,
it was probably a bad idea in the first place.
I mean, people's palms.
They wipe their butts with it,
they whack off with it, they touch railings with it.
My brother calls those Coke freestyle machines,
Dick Finger machines.
Dick fingers.
He's like, you know somebody just came out of the bathroom.
And now it's picking the coke.
Oh, I didn't even think about the thanks, Jason.
I will never use one of those machines again.
Yet another thing now I can't touch out in public.
You will never like it one of those
and not call it a dick finger machine again.
Never, ever not call it a dick finger.
As a matter of fact, I have an image of my own dick
just touching that.
Just using it.
Just sharing dicks.
Yeah. Now I have a vision of multiple people using their Dicks
to just control the, hey, what do you want, Bob?
I give me a scratch.
I don't.
It just takes out his dick and just starts banging the machine.
You holding down the ice button with his half hard.
You want some ice in that?
Yeah, do me a favor.
Give me some ice in that, I appreciate it.
Hey, nice strong there, time it.
Thanks buddy.
I got a half hard back on the mat little yellow.
I got a little pee pee poo poo in your drink.
I hope you don't mind.
Ah, shit, I don't care.
What do I give a sh- I'm shaking people's hands.
Why do I care?
I do agree that shaking people's hands was kind of a weird thing in the first place. You think about it, but I go to sh- I'm shaking people's hands. Why do I care? I do agree that shaking people's hands
was kind of a weird thing in the first place.
And you think about it, but I go to meetings
or I say hello to people, or I'm at the school
and they're reducing myself,
and people put out their hands pretty regularly.
I'd rather give you a hug to be quite frank
because this has not been, you know,
where my palms have been.
Yeah, that's true.
You know, I had my morning press conference
with the kids in the shitter.
In the poopoo peepie room.
And I was reading this article about half.
This lady was saying, she was saying on TikTok that when you leave the toilet seat open
and flush the toilet, it's just about the worst thing that you could do.
Yeah, it flies everywhere.
Yeah, fecal matter just everywhere.
And so I think I'm pretty religious about putting the toilet seat down in general.
And shut the door to the water cause of the year. You shut the door.
The toothbrush doesn't end up with.
That's right.
But then my kids just come sliding in there.
They're just crawling all over the place.
Yep.
My youngest one started to crawl.
And she opened the door this morning, like with her head, like push the door open.
And she was like, that, that, that, that.
And I was, oh god, don't be on that floor.
Please, for god's sake, you're getting pee, pee, poop.
And then I thought to myself, what do I get?
I'm like, this full of shit anyway.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying? She's got diapers. She's literally sitting in her getting pee, pee, poop. And then I thought to myself, what do I get? I get this full of shit anyway. I mean, you know what I'm saying?
He's got diapers.
She's literally sitting in her own stink
for half the day.
What is it really about?
I like it.
Yeah, but I'm thinking about moving the pre,
or the Morning Press Conference to some other area
because it's just got me really disgusted
at first on that.
At least it's just family cooties though.
Yeah, that's true.
You all share the same coot.
It's, I mean, they call for my knees in mind
if you write into my mouth, just write into it. The baby has like a cold or something. Yeah, you're eating that. I know.
And then the other day I was watching her and I had her on my on my belly. I was laying down,
recovering from my balls getting snipped. And I had her on my belly and I was just kind of bouncing
her and she fell forward. And when she fell forward, this green snout that was just sitting in her nose, just expelled right into my mouth.
And I was like, if she hadn't been laying on me, I would have jumped like I saw a cockroach.
You know what I'm saying?
I grabbed her, I jumped up, I'm spitting, I'm list-reigning, the whole thing to myself.
Well, she came from me.
What's the big fucking deal?
She came from me.
I literally saw her full of blood and guts, right?
When she came out I held her when she still had sticky and
pointed out her. What is it really matter at the end of the day?
I just told my vasectomy story on it like I mean, there's not much that's left up to the imagination.
Nothing is safe. You know what I'm saying? Nothing is safe.
It's great at all. I love that girl, but I don't want her snottin' my mouth.
I love my I know I raised three. I've got a niece and a nephew now. I love them girl, but I don't want her snottin' my mouth. I love my, I know. I raised three.
I've got Aniesa and Anephyn.
I love them more than anything.
I don't want to eat their,
bookers.
I just don't.
I'm just not interested.
Any other than the kids get to that age
while they're starting to get the finger in the nose.
Oh yeah, they're exploring.
They're eating it.
Hey guys, guys.
Hands in the pants, hands in the face.
Oh god, they touched their butts.
Everything. Yeah, they're so butts everything. Yeah, they're so
Interest I know they're so inter they're exploring every part of their body and then they want to you know
Give me a hug or feed me that's one thing one of my kids wants to feed me and I'm like
I just saw you put your finger in your asshole. Could you not give me that chicken nugget? I certainly would appreciate it
Yeah, why is I want the cookie your about to hand me but why is your handle wet?
and I certainly would have presented it. Yeah, why is she, I want the cookie
you're about to hand me, but why is your hand all wet?
Yeah.
Peepee poopoo.
Why is it slimy?
Yeah, why is there all that green stuff
all over your hand?
Hey, what is that?
I just picked my nose.
I had one of my kids one time when he found
that the nose had things in it, you know?
He grabbed it and he's like, what's this daddy?
Stuck it right on my nose.
Stuck it right on my nose.
And I was like, oh my God, you gotta understand.
I'm not a normal person when it comes to bodily fluids.
You could, I could walk up on the scene of a car accident
or someone's head exploded and I would be in full,
get it done mode.
Like I wouldn't care that there was blood and guts everywhere.
But I cannot handle, peepee, poo poo and boogers.
I know. I just can't handle it. It's not something that I can do. And this is another reason why
I'm never going to be on an osempic is because I can't, I don't like the fact that I shit.
Do I, do I, I don't want to, you don't want to sell a raid that, that's right. I've got
osempic. It's called my morning coffee. It's coffee. Yeah, it's coffee. Yeah. The second
that I look at that coffee, I'm running down the hallway. There's a handoff that goes
on in the morning. It's like, you know, I run to the kitchen
and then someone hands me the coffee and then I run on the way to the bathroom with my boxers.
I'm already pulling my pants down. That's I don't even have to drink it and I'm already in the mode where I'm gonna poop.
And that's when the kids, you know, run behind me like it's a parade.
It's the morning press conference. We're gonna be late. Yeah. What's daddy watching on Instagram? Let's see.
I know. I'm always telling them guys, go go get your ass Go get your ass for school. I'm like that. What are the same?
Questions what are you doing? I know why why why that's what I get 24 fucking hours a day
Why why why why do you eat your boogers? Why do you stick your hand in your butthole and then put it in my mouth?
Why do you do that thing?
Always coming out of your face. Why are there boogers all over your bedroom wall?
Why?
Because I told you, please do me a favor.
This is my rule.
Explore.
Knock it out.
Put your boogers, eat them,
cook a meal, stir fry snot.
I don't give a shit.
But you do it in the bathroom
and you wash your hands after you do it.
That's where you go.
Just be neat.
Yeah, there are some things you just do in private.
It's the same rule I'm gonna have about whacking off.
Close the fucking door.
Please lock it.
Please lock it.
I don't wanna walk in on you.
You don't want me to walk in on you.
You can't, I can't undo it.
I can't undo it.
It's scarred me for life.
That's right.
It's like looking at the business end of a natural birth.
Like once you see it, you can't unsee it.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Children, lock your doors.
Do you do lock your doors?
That's it.
I'm gonna have like a little,
I think I'm gonna get like a little sign made, you know?
Get a little, just use the scrunchy rule.
Yeah, EPM in progress.
You know what I'm saying?
And just EPM in progress.
That's just, hang it out the front door.
Ha ha ha.
Next sticker, EPM in progress. right in the book, there it is.
If you have a progress.
That's amazing.
That's going to love it.
But I'm going to do it because I'm just going to I want to be as honest with these
children as possible.
You have to be.
You kids, this is how you did you take this road?
Like, hey, kids, this is perfectly natural.
Normal.
Go for it.
Knock yourself out.
Gives away, kids. Gives away. Please, I'd rather you take care of it yourself and seek perfectly natural. Normal. Go for it. Knock yourself out. Jizz away, kids.
Jizz away. Please, I'd rather you take your every yourself and seek the help of others.
Don't do it into a t-shirt. Leave our good towels alone. Find yourself a nice raggedy ass cloth
and you're in charge of washing it. Let me show you how to do the laundry. That's right.
Because that's where I'd prefer that you're old enough to EPM. You're old enough to wash the laundry.
Yes. I'd like your proto-plasm to go somewhere
besides my work shirt.
Don't make me feel your socks on.
You can use my save fairershirt.
That might take more money after you use.
Yes, that's right.
If you pay for my save fairershirt,
you can use my save fairershirt as a whack-off cloth.
I don't care.
Because yeah, everyone's got, everyone has one
and everyone's got to get to this.
Did you just tell your children,
hey listen, this is perfectly normal and natural?
100% well.
My daughter, I let my ex-husband handle the talk with the boy
because it's just awkward.
But yeah, I bought her a bullet.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
The kind you do cocaine with or the kind that you,
oh, okay. And then I like, it hurts cocaine with or the kind that you, Oh, okay.
And then I like to get hurt to laundry and wash it.
I was like, shit.
So I ordered another one.
Just like a listed and a real killer.
You were like a mother of the year.
You bought a bullet for your kid?
Hell yeah.
Yeah, maybe I'll get one of those.
Listen, like I said, I'd rather you do it on your own.
Good for you.
Figure out your own body before you go sharing it
with other people.
Agreed.
So understand yourself first. And then if you can always take care of it then why do you need anybody else honestly
honestly well the kids aren't having sex these days they really aren't they aren't I know
it's crazy we're gonna have a whole problem with this grab mark my words if we're still here in 20
years and we will be because the show makes 12 cents an episode but if we're still here in 20 years
mark my words there's gonna be a birth rate problem.
Because the kids aren't having sex.
They're already is.
I say kids, I mean like late teens, early 20s.
Yes.
They are not having sex.
And they don't want kids.
No, for this, I don't blame them, actually.
No, they can barely afford to feed themselves.
Barely afford to feed themselves.
They really feel the doom and gloom.
They don't wanna bring children into a world
that they already see as unfair and fucked up.
And in a lot of ways it is, and I totally understand.
So don't worry, I got it covered for you
because I had 22 children.
So don't worry about it.
You're good.
I got at least a few of you covered out there.
That's right.
All right, let's take a break
and then I wanna talk about the pokes. then I want to talk about the pokes.
Okay.
You want to talk about the pokes?
Let's do it.
Let's talk about the pokes.
We'll be right back.
Hello again, my little podcast pals.
It's Christina and I am just here to remind you once again to go on over to tcbpodcast.com
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Now, let's listen to some sponsors and then we'll get back to whatever they were talking
about.
Alright, so the pokes, what do you know about the pokes? 90s band. 90s.
Grungy.
Oh, yeah, like punk band. And actually they were back in the 80s, I think is when they
really really started. And Shane, the lead singer, writer of the band, he just passed away.
And there's a lot of people that are giving their,
it's very viral right now.
This, I don't know a whole lot about the pokes.
I like the music that I've heard from them.
It's kind of like, I don't know.
What's the best way to describe their music, do you think?
I think you would probably call it like,
Irish punk, I don't know.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, let me give you the Wikipedia.
So for those of you that don't know who the pokes are.
So the pokes are in English or an Anglo-Irish Celtic punk band.
I was right.
I was punk band, right?
Shane McGowan and others founded in Kings Cross, London,
which is where I stayed, actually,
when I went to London, I stayed at Kings Cross.
And so then they had this band. They formed in 1982. in Kings Cross, London, which is where I stayed, actually when I went to London, I stayed at Kings Cross.
And so then they had this band. They formed in 1982.
They were only around for just a couple of years
and then they did some like, come back to us
and stuff like that or whatever.
They were trying to capitalize on it.
By all accounts, Shane MacGowan was good man.
He was like a super sweet empathetic human being.
He so super sweet and empathetic that he left a $, sweet, empathetic human being. He's so super sweet and empathetic
that he left a $12,000 blank check
for his funeral bar tab.
He wanted his friends to have a good time.
That's right.
That's the kind of guy I like.
I can drink on your dime even when you're dead.
Yes.
So he passed away, I think he was ill.
He was fighting, I think cancer.
He passed away, I think he was ill, he was fighting, I think cancer. He passed away, but there is one song during Christmas time that I cannot wait to fucking
hear.
There are a couple of them, but there's one that I just can't wait for around Christmas
time.
And it's the Pogs New York fairy tale.
Have you heard the song?
I don't know.
I can't.
I know you have.
I'm going to play it for you.
And the reason why I'm bringing this up is because it gives me a chance to play one of
my favorite Christmas songs quite frankly.
And I know there's copy right in all that other bullshit.
I just want to play a little bit of it.
You'll know it when you hear it.
You ready?
I'm ready.
Okay, here we go. So we're watching the video here in the studio and that is Matt Dillon that is in this video. He's such a great man, such an awful set of teeth.
But here, for the first 3,000 times I heard this song, I have not a fucking clue what
Shane is singing about, not a clue.
But there's some weird, beautiful art happening here, and I just don't know what it is singing about, not a clue, but it's like there's some weird beautiful art happening here
and I just don't know what it is, but...
Chime and I like seeing the one I've got to feel
those years were made so I'll be Christ's
I got that part, so happy Christmas.
I love you baby.
I can see you better time.
Well, all our rivers of gold.
But the windows right through you, it's no place for the old.
When you first hit my hand on the cold Christmas Eve,
You promised me Broadway was waiting for me.
You're in some...
You were pretty way out of New York City when the fun finished.
When the fun finished, they held up for more.
Cine out.
Cine out.
Cine out.
Cine out.
Cine out. Cine out. Cine out. Cine out. Cine out. You promised me Broadway was waiting for me You're a pretty cool and I've knew you're sitting when the fun finished
They held up the mark, so natural a swing
All the jokes they were saying we kissed on a corner and danced through the night
The boys at the end were a pretty cool and a single way back
And the boughs were real one for Christmas Day.
I mean, it's like such a beautiful song.
Yes. Such a beautiful song.
And I am lifting now in the beginning, not so much.
Yeah, there's stuck in the drum too.
That was a pretty sad song.
That was a very sad song.
I don't understand a fucking word he's saying in the beginning.
I mean, I do, I know the lyrics now, but I didn't understand a word that he was saying.
But it's just such a brilliant song for Christmas.
I just love it, I don't know why.
And the boys in the NYPD are playing whatever, I don't know.
But it's beautiful, and I loved it.
And it touched me in a way that no other Christmas song
has made me feel.
And when I first heard it long, long, long time ago,
when I first heard it, I was like,
who is this fucking band that put this beautiful song together?
What happened to be the pugs?
Well, now Shane's passed away,
but I hope this Christmas song lives on forever.
I really do.
I just love it.
I love it.
You think so?
Yeah, because you know how Christmas songs live on
as you play them for your kids,
and your kids are nostalgic about it,
then they'll play it for their kids.
I was watching, I was reading about Mariah Carey.
You know that this lady who sang,
was it rocking around the Christmas tree
or something that came to,
it became the number one hit single?
I know that song, but I don't know the lady.
I think I'm not mistaken.
That rocking around the Christmas tree
was a song that was like,
you know, it was like 30, 40, 50 years old.
Yeah.
And the lady who sang that song has never had a top 10 hit until,
I think it's called Sound Scan, the people who, like,
keep track of the charts, started allowing songs
to come back on the charts, like, perennially.
So Christmas songs.
So Mariah Carey's is, of course, always up there at the top.
Yeah. I think with that WAM song, what is that WAM song that they sing?
The George Michaels Christmas tune that he's got there.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
I think it's just George Michael.
I know it.
It's on my Christmas list.
Yeah, okay.
Anyway, so all these people are starting to pop back up on the charts.
Well, this lady after almost 50 years gets her due,
which is a number one single.
I only hope the same thing happens
for Shane and it's delightful, folks, because he paid the bar tab after you're dead. That's
the thing to do. I think I'm going to do that. I need to do this. Yeah, I'm going to
start saving now. Yeah, first of all, it's going to take a lot more
$12,000 for my friends. For my friends, that's a treasure. Because the bar tab is going to
turn into the Coke tab. It's going to turn into the, you know, hang over tab. It's going to take a lot more than $12,000 for my friend. For my friends at Tusher. Because the bar tab is going to turn into the Coke tab.
It's going to turn into the, you know, hangover tab.
It's going to turn into the more Coke tab.
I just know it's going to go on for days.
So I'm going to have to get a lot more than $12,000.
But to think about that, as a human being, before you pass away, to say, I really want you
guys to have a good party.
And I want you to go broke to it.
So I'm paying the bar tab.
That's right.
I don't want you to go broke doing it.
So I'm paying the bar tab.
And the most beautiful thing was, they're in this like big huge church. I'm sure it's
somewhere in England or Ireland or something. There's this big huge church doing the service.
The caskets there in the middle, the priests are all standing there full regalia and they're
singing this song. There's like, you know, everybody in the church is singing the song.
How they know the lyrics, I'm not sure, but I guess they gave a coffee out beforehand.
It's in the program.
In the program, to let people know what to say.
But it's just like this.
It seems that's the way I want to go.
Not at the church, but that's the way you send me out, Tina.
When you're there, just tell everybody who wants to, you know, frill me up and say nice
things.
I don't know who's going to have nice things to say about me, but when they want to do
that whole number, just remind them, Shane McGowan, please, please,
Shane McGowan, I want people singing,
I want them dancing, I don't want
priests in full regalia, but if priests wanna come,
that's okay.
And I would, I'd like to do it at a dive bar, actually.
I think that's the appropriate thing to do.
Put the yarn right in the middle and say Brian Green.
I'll find a,
I'll find a, a son, a pragmatic pragmatist, a terrible guitarist, a mediocre lover, sometimes
funny, made way too many episodes of the commercial break, but he paid the bar tax to get
it.
Can we give him a pause for the guy who paid for the bar, Tim. That's for sure.
That's for sure.
What's your favorite Christmas song?
Oh, I don't know.
That's a tough one.
I grew up listening to Christmas records.
And so we would take turns playing the Andy Williams,
the Elvis, the Chipmunks, the peanuts.
Oh, I love the peanuts.
My grandma had like this old high-fi system.
You know, I'm talking about like the cabinet.
That's what we had to have.
The speakers taller than we were, yep.
Yeah, it just, it looked for those of you who are,
it looked like a piece of furniture.
It was a piece of furniture.
It was like a space.
It was like a, imagine just a big, I don't know, chest.
There's something you will put in the front of your house,
like an entrance of a house or in a bedroom.
But instead of having drawers in it,
it had speakers on the side that were- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, eight track in it too. So we had all these eight tracks of Christmas songs and you know you just she'd just keep putting in other Christmas album other Christmas
album. It's such a good time and I think I think one thing so unique about Christmas
time is that the most popular songs tend to be the ones that are very old very old.
It's like we got stuck in some kind of Christmas stasis and no one is making good Christmas
music. And there was a time when yeah, artists wanted to, I remember when Christina Aguilar put out her Christmas album. I did go by it. Yeah. It was pretty good.
It was pretty good. But it used to be a thing like that's when artists felt like they made it,
was when they put their Christmas album out. People wouldn't do that anymore. They don't do that.
Well, I think they think of it as kind of a dud, you know? A Christmas music's already been done.
There's nothing more to do. I know it's already been done. I just don't know how much original
content is out there. They're just re-singing the same old songs that it's Christmas. It's Christ's birthday. You can't make a statement like that because then you're not going to
get canceled or whatever. And so you just you you see they're seeing the classics claiming that
I didn't hold it on just singing. Yeah, maybe it's cold outside. It's the rapy rapy. Yeah.
I get it. I totally understand.
The lyric is a little disconcerting.
It's a classic.
We can't go changing it.
I know, just leave it's Christmas.
Yeah.
There's a lot of stuff from a long time ago that we're not going to agree with today.
Yeah.
But that doesn't mean we have to erase history, right?
I just my opinion anyway.
How much more sensitive?
What's it?
I said, how much more sensitive are we supposed to get?
Well, I don't know.
Now you can't sing that. And now every time I watch Elf,
I think Elf's gonna get canceled pretty soon
because they sing that song in the shower scene, remember?
No, I love that movie.
Baby, it's called outside.
And he's just met that girl.
Okay, I can't remember who plays,
which actress plays in that?
I can't remember.
But anyway, we will's Farrill's character, Elf,
meets the girl at the department store,
and then he goes there early to set up for Christmas and he decorates the whole department store and all that
was wonderful Christmas decorations.
And then he's in the bathroom and she's taking a shower.
I don't know why a department store has a shower and why she's taking one there, but okay,
let's just run with it.
And they start, she's singing, baby, it's called outside and he starts singing the other
part to it.
And then they have a little duet going on before she realizes she's being sung to by a creepy
elf that's standing outside watching her take a shower.
And yeah, okay, I get it.
And so every time I watch that scene, I think to myself, oh, this is getting canceled.
This might be the last.
The way out the door.
I think my favorite Christmas song is either the pokes, but I've always had like a,
I don't know, like a little soft spot for a little drummer boy.
Carol the bells.
Carol the bell.
I always felt like I was the little drummer boy when I was a kid.
You know what I'm saying?
I was that kid who would come give Jesus presence, you know.
Bum bum bum bum bum.
Ha.
Ha.
A little Catholic Brian.
Yeah, some good cocaine. Bum bum bum bum bum. Here's some good cocaine bottom.
It's a fun song.
A little Rochembo bottom.
Bum bum bum.
I know it's cold outside.
Bottom bum bum bum.
Why it's a good time to get high bottom.
Bum bum bum bum bum.
I love that song.
It's a fun song. It's a fun song. All the Christmas tunes are fun. to get how about a bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum So a Christian school believe it or not for my first few years. Oh, you did. I did. I didn't know that.
It's Marna Christian Academy.
Oh, really?
I sure did.
And so did they send you to church every once in a while?
Chapel every day.
Oh, really.
Wow, that's very serious.
It was.
Yeah, we went to Mass and won at least once a week, probably more like twice a week when
I was going to Catholic school.
And not my favorite part of the day if I'm being real honest, because the teachers,
it was nap time.
Only the teachers were keeping an eye out,
specifically for the nappers of which I was one.
And so, and all the sitting and kneeling and standing
and sitting and kneeling and standing and sitting
and kneeling and standing.
Yeah, my school didn't do that.
It was more Protestant nature.
Good for the Protestants.
After lunch, you expect a bunch of six-year-olds to pay attention to some...
No.
No.
No.
Because you know when the worst time in the world to have a meeting or anything you have to
pay attention to is?
Right after your...
30 minutes before you eat or 30 minutes after you.
A scientific fact.
Perfect.
That's why I don't eat before I do these episodes.
Because if I ate before I did these episodes, they would be much worse worse than they already are and I just don't want to subject anybody to that
So I don't eat I like to be hungry when I get in here, you know, it makes me feel it makes me drive
I just like to talk about Christmas songs for 30 fucking minutes
What was that that one song it's not a Christmas song. It's actually a New Year's song
Um, I can't remember it Uh, it's like a Christmas song. It's actually a New Year's song. I can't remember it. It's like a cheesy love song.
I don't know New Year's music. I didn't know it was a song played during Christmas, but I think it's really about New Year's.
Okay. It's, oh my gosh. Now I'm forgetting how it goes because I'm not, I have it in my head. Is that fucking bug?
Yeah. Or a little bit of drummer boy. That's's right just sing some more of that it'll come back
Anyway, there's a song sung by some cheese yacht rocker in the 70s that I just love during Christmas time too
I always bring a little tear to my Christmas time is it is an emotional time. It can be it can be
Yeah, it can be and you know why it's an emotional time because I know I'm going to go broke every Christmas by 22 children Christmas
President we're all crying more everyone falls bankruptcy
That's right to you right before the credit card company start calling us it is peak season by the way
February is peak bankruptcy season because everyone just says I'm gonna blow whatever cash I have on Christmas
I'll deal with it in the new year. Yep. Yeah.
This is peak denialism season is what it is.
And I do have to say this, December 11th is the day when more breakups happen than any
other day of the year.
That's pretty crazy.
It's pretty fucking shitty is what it is.
Yeah.
You're trying to get out of the relationship right before you have to buy a Christmas
present.
You're feeling the pressure.
You know the relationship's not working out.
You're gonna have to buy a Christmas present and you say, you pressure. You know the relationship's not working out. You're gonna have to buy a Christmas present
and you say, you know what?
Let me do it before Christmas.
I know somebody that actually did do a breakup
on this April 11th.
I do, I remember.
Oh, was that December 11th?
Oh, not me, but someone else I know, yes.
Oh, really?
Seriously.
Wow, see, I read it and it's true.
It's true.
It fuckers.
It can confirm.
But you know what, then I always say to people who are,
oh, my relationship's so shitty,
but I don't wanna break up with her because.
No, never drag it out.
I say, listen, there is no good time for a break up.
There is.
There is never a good time for a break.
Christmas fucking day.
There's never gonna be a good time.
It's always gonna be a new season for it.
The July Easter, Christmas vacation, holidays, birthdays,
all of it.
It's always, there's always gonna be an excuse.
If you're making excuses to drag it out,
it means you still wanna be in the relationship.
If it's December, fucking 24th, at 11.58.
And you realize it's over?
And you realize it's over?
Break up the demo right then.
Yeah, trust me, everyone's gonna be better for it.
Yeah, it's just, then one guy told me,
this is just recently actually.
It's like, well, you know, Christmas becomes a shitty occasion for her because I broke up with her.
And I'm like, you're thinking way too much of yourself, bro.
One Christmas might be shitty, but you're thinking way too much of yourself.
I guarantee you're not going to psychologically damage someone's Christmas for life if you break up with somebody
during Christmas season, because we're all big boys and girls.
We can handle it.
And it's true, maybe shouldn't buy you a gift yet and you're saving her the house.
That's true.
You know what I often find?
If you're looking to break up with her,
she's probably looking to break up with you.
She's yeah.
For sure.
It's a fact.
Yeah.
I very rarely in my life have experienced a breakup
that wasn't expected or anticipated on both sides.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you can feel it.
There's the occasional sneaky like, oh I've been sleeping with your sister this whole, you know, that kind of crazy story.
You've been bubbling from my lies all the time.
Yeah, that's right.
I think that Christmas song from the Pogs is about a tortured relationship by the way.
Yeah, he was serenading her from the drunk tank. And then he was fist-fighting her on the video.
I love it.
Ah, 1982.
Chris was here.
1982 was a different time.
Most of our listeners probably weren't even born in 1982.
Probably not.
But that's okay.
Alright, tcbpodcast.com, that's where you go.
You find out more information about the show.
You can also watch the video and all the audio.
It's right there from one location, the entire library. Don't go searching all over.
Just go to the website and hit play. There you go. For those of you that have
been asking, we will pick up on the audio scavenger hunt. That will happen in
January. I'd like Chrissy to be here when we do that. So that's the reason why
we've pushed it back. It will happen. We're just gonna do it in January. It'll be
the beginning of season five as opposed to the end
of season four.
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