The Commercial Break - FedEx Mens Have Your Moneys!

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Bryan and Hoadley discuss a TCBTV-minus. A new streaming channel with all your favorite content...somewhere else. Then Michelle Duggar makes auto-calls on behalf of the devil. She truly is a mother-duggar! Finally, the gang breaks down a phishing and gift card scam Bryan found himself involved in late one night.  LINKS: Watch this episode on Youtube Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 [phone] FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: [e-mail] A Chartable Top 20 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 25 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

And welcome back to WSHIT's Wednesday night showing of Shrouder's Scrooders. Few actors have touched a generation like Ricky Shrouder. Star of such wonderful hits as Silver Spoons. TV movie 14 Hours. TV Wrestling Movie To The Matt. TV Movie Are-hour. TV wrestling movie to the mat. TV movie are wild hearts. And most recently, TV movie Dolly Parton's magical-colored Christmas. Winkly, Ricky takes us on a journey inside this amazing mind as he belittles regular human beings. Let's go now live to Costco, where Ricky has found somebody else to pick up.

Not my nation-wide Costco that said you don't need to wear a mask. Actually, that's not, what is accurate? So what is accurate is that Costco always goes above and beyond when following the law. And the mandate in California has not changed. There does seem to be the possibility of that in June. By mid-June, that's a date that California

I know what they allow us. If they grant us that, our kings, the people in power, you're gonna listen to these people? Well, I know they destroyed our economy. They're destroying our culture. They're destroying our state. And you're just gonna listen to their rules. What?

What we are going to do is simply follow the guidelines. Okay, I'm getting my refund. I'm getting my refund from Costco. I suggest everybody in California get their refund from Costco. Give up your membership to Costco until they remove this. Absolutely no silver spoon in this mouth. Ricky, you've done it again. We'll be back right after this. Commercial break.

So now you are putting your mother-dogger? You're putting those two together so that you can get people all riled up. I doubt that they have their parents would stand for a lot that would endanger their daughters or allow them to be traumatized by a man joining them in their private space. I cannot believe what this woman is saying! Yeah, that's bad. Like a man's just settling up to like a small girl in a bad and a public bathroom. Think of the man. Think of the fucking absolute bullshit that she's saying when she helped cover up the fact that her son was running around molesting her own children and

receiving child pornography. Yeah, that's bad. The hypocrisy. It's insane, hopefully. I can't talk right now. My mouth has been so shut for the last couple of weeks due to dental surgery. But you know that because you saw my Facebook post. Oh, yes, of course I do. Right?

Here's what goes. And I say, thank you. I say thank you very much. I desperately need that 100 million right now. Yeah. That's what I say. I said, I got to get out of this. I owe big bills for this mouth surgery.

This got my mouth sewn shut. So if you get that $100 million to me tonight and he says, we are, we can deliver this up immediately. OK. Cash. UPS. UPS. So coming through and I'm just going to say this.

Thanks, Joe. I didn't know government organizations nailed you, Cash. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah. It's another TCB TV minus exclusive. I'm Ryan. This is Chrissy Ann. Happy New Year. Happy New Year and best to you. Best to you, to the audience, to you.

Look at my body. Such great and wonderful, positive feedback about our Frank Bernardo episode. Everybody loves Frank Bernardo. Oh, I don't know how could you not. How could you not? He is the creep we've all been waiting for. He's the asshole we've all been looking for.

Frank Bernardo, still no phone call from Frank though. I think I might as a reach out to him. I'm afraid though, if I reach out to him, then it's just gonna cause, like, then we can do no more videos because he's gonna be like, you know, copy right in Frenchman. Look at my videos.

Smash that like button. Smash that like subscribe bell. It's gonna strap that, what? Frank Brunotta says smash that subscribe like bell. What is he gonna say? He says crank it up. Let's crank this up. Buster asked out. That's right, I'm gonna bust your ass out because I'm a cheating ninja. Ain't ya Chinese wisdom best out for Bernardo to Bernardo?

Grandpa Bernardo the third had six cheating wives and he learned some wisdom. He passed it on down. Passed it on down. Thank God for all of us. That's right. Did your wife wake up at 9-0-2 this morning? And he learned some wisdom. He passed on down. Fasted on down. Mm-hmm. Thank God for all of us. That's right.

Did your wife wake up at 902 this morning and said at 905? Look out! She's cheating. She's cheating. I just have this picture in my head of Frank Bernardo at the window like this. I know.

It's like art too. I know. What's your lock out code? What's your lock out code? Would you just move your actor to it? What's your lockout code? Which is your phone where I can see it. Put that phone where I can see it. Look at my body. I'm gonna pull it around.

What's your lockout code? It's Frank's going to jail. What's your lockout code? 77727, I knew it! You changed your lockout code? Seven, seven, two, seven, I know it. You changed your lockout code. That's, I put them on cellphones now, Frank, you know that. Check your jitterbug. Check your jitterbug.

Frank has so many great videos that we can break down, but I don't want to become the TCB TV minus Frank Bernard of channel. So we'll leave it at that. This is a little treat that gives Pop Dan. Oh my god. Yeah, we just have to sprinkle in the treats because I don't, part of me wants Frank to come on the show and sit and have a conversation with us, right? Give us some more tips, do some things here on TCB TV minus that we would really enjoy,

but we couldn't live, like we couldn't go back and forth live, I think like we do with the videos. So we need the videos in order to breathe and give it some room, yeah, the stop and start and comment stuff like that. Lath. Yeah, if you want to see,

you know what, here's the thing, Chrissy and I have been thinking, we could do a Twitch channel where we would do these videos with the visual element because I think there is a part of these videos that need to be seen. You have to see Frank Bernardo in order to really get the full effect of who Frank Bernardo is.

That you really do. And so, Chrissy and I were thinking, we could go Twitch TV, we go Twitch, or we could go Instagram whatever they call it, IGTV or whatever. We could do all of that stuff and then do a video, like TCBTV minus for real. We could do it, you know, all your favorite content somewhere else.

Right. All your favorite show. You're looking for that here. You're looking for that minus content. If you're looking for content that's less useless, guess the less useful than you've already used to. Come to TCB TV minus, brought to by Provaca Cour 3000 and Disney. So if you're interested in that, then do us a favor, hit us a line, smash that like button,

and that's subscribe bell. And then, and this is subscribe bell. That's what he said. He goes smash the subscribe bell. Look at my body. I just have this impression of him smashing through a window or like a like the coolest window. Yeah, it's like look at my body!

You're cheating. And then he does that like glass stuck all in him and a sir that's gonna need stitches. Don't worry about it! I'm cheating then ja! Is it like blood shooting out of his jugular? Don't worry about it! It's okay. If you want to blood shooting out of his jugular, don't worry about it. It's okay.

If you want to see this kind of content live, Chrissy and I do it live, we do it with the visual aspect of it. Hit us up info at tcbpodcast.com, 470-584-8449, is where you can text or leave us a message, tcbpodcast.com is where you go. You can listen to the entire library, watch all of the YouTube videos that we've put together, all the clips, all the long videos, everything, it's all available

at tcbpodcast.com or you can go to youtube.com slash the commercial break and hit the subscribe button, like and comment. You know, we get a lot of comments, most of them negative. We had another guy, another young man who was like, this fucking sucks. And I was like, well, your complaint has been lodged with HR, but please be patient as there are many before you. And he was like, oh, just kidding.

I feel like when you get engaged with him, then they're like, oh, shoot. This can't be such a hassle. There's really many beings back there. It's kind of like how we feel. Sometimes we like, we say something on the show, and then someone will comment on it, and we'll realize that, you know, some 13-year year old young man was hurt by something we said about brownies

And we're like oh, sorry about that part. Yeah, no, that's all normal. Don't worry about it. You're perfectly fine clop away clop a clop clop away Clopping for those of you that don't know is masturbating to my little ponies Clopping for those of you that don't know is masturbating to my little ponies. Just, you know, get that visual out of your head for the rest of the day. And then at the commercial break on Instagram, you can always DM us there. We promise we'll get back to you just as soon as we can. Got a couple things that I want to talk about today, Chrissy.

A little housekeeping. A little housekeeping. Get it out of the way. We got a lot of clips built up. And so I figure we just go run through the computer and get a few of them out of the way. Okay. Do you know about these d and so I figured we just go run through the computer and get a few of them out of the way. Okay. Do you know about these duggers? Yes, I've heard of this.

These mother duggers. These mother duggers. This lady who has got like a superhuman womb and she had 19 children, I think 20 actually. I think she was pregnant recently, like after the show. Oh my God. The girl's, the lady's like, I don't know, she must be in her late 40s now

but she's been having children since she was 18 years old and she's got 19 or 20 of them now. Wow. Just one year, pop them out. Just pop them out, left and right. She's always got another kid on the way. But just like any, you know, large group of human beings, you know, there's always one loose goose in the bunch, right?

And apparently one of the loose, the crazy uncle. Yeah, one of the crazy uncle. That's putting it mildly. Josh Dugger, I think his name was Josh Dugger. Josh Dugger was one of the older children. And as you can imagine, once you have 20 children, there's no way you can parent those children by yourself.

You're relying on older children and family members to then parent the younger children that are coming into the family. And so Josh was, by all accounts, in charge of some of his sisters. Well, unfortunately for everybody involved, it came to light. Many, many, many years later, that Josh had been molesting some of these sisters, right? Which is just fucking obnoxiously painful to even think about. Yeah, I mean, can you imagine being in a family that large? And then your brother is the one, you know,

this whole family is built around the centering, the teachings of Christ and you know, Baptist bullshit and all this fucking crap, right? They cover up this whole Josh Dugger thing. They bury it basically in the church's deep secrets. So now the church, the church finds out about it. It's healthy. It's completely healthy, normal church the church, the church finds out about it. It's healthy. It's completely healthy.

It's really healthy. It's a very, yeah. One of your congregation members comes to you and says, this guy's been molesting my daughter, right? And you say, ah, we're going to send him to some kind of camp and he'll be better, right? We don't tell the press. We don't tell the police.

We don't tell anybody. And then it comes out many years later that this has happened when they have a TV show that is a Runaway hit. I mean people loved that show. I even watched it for a couple seasons. I was like, okay, this is interesting You know, what do you do with 20 fucking girls? Right, right Josh just can't help himself because Josh a couple of weeks ago was arrested again He's been arrested before now. He's arrested again, on child pornography, charges. Right, but lest you think that this family has,

like this family is now, it turns out, is all kind of fucked up. But yeah, as you can imagine, right? I'm not saying the people that I wanna have a lot of children are fucked up. I'm just saying, like, he's fundamentalist, baptists who are just, you know, playing God themselves. This lady, whatever her name is,

Marie Antoinette Dugger, whatever the fuck, whatever the fuck her name is. She actually is... She's mother Dugger? She's mother Dugger, and she's actually extraordinarily, just like the rest of the family, anti-LGBTQ, as you can imagine, right?

So it comes up for a vote in their little township of whatever backwards-ass Arkansas that they are going to vote to allow or not allow, like they want to put a law in place that people who identify with the opposite sex cannot use the bathroom of the sex that they identify with, further tormenting them and confusing them. Yeah, yeah.

So here's the deal. In order to be a good, upstanding citizen, Marie Antoinette Mother Dugger, decides that she is going to put together a phone voicemail, an automated dial, dial a message where she's going to talk to all of the people, call all of the people in the township and let them hear the following voicemail. Are you ready for this? Listen to this sack of horse shit that this woman puts together. Okay, you ready? I'm ready hold on. I'm not so

Hello I'm calling to Hello That's miss you. I'm calling to let you know that I'm no longer on TLC Borneo some shocking news my son has molested my entire family that will affect the safety of northwest Arkansas women and children that you know what affects the safety of uh... northwest or can saw children women is your son and your fundamentalist views on everything

the paper city council is voting on an ordinance this Tuesday night that would allow men. Yes, I said men to use women's and girls' restrooms, locker rooms, showers, sleeping areas, and other areas that are designated for females only. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. What a hateful, spiteful bitch you really are.

I just got to say that. Not fireside content by the way. I don't believe the citizens of favor would want males with past child predator convictions that claim they are female to have a legal right to inter private areas reserved for women and girls. Now hold on. Hold on. You have to dissect that sentence a little bit. I don't think that our township would want men with prior sexual convictions against children to have access to our private spaces. Now hold on, is every person that identifies as trans

have some kind of conviction against them? No, in fact, you rarely hear about them being interested in children. Children, because fact, you rarely hear about them being interested in children. Children, because that's not what it's all about. They've got other issues. Yeah. Listen, number one, number two, if someone has a conviction

against sexual violence against children, whether they're men or women or identify as men or women or fucking horses, guess what? You are against, it's against the law to go within 20 feet of child. Yeah. So there you go. So now you're putting your mother, your mother, your putting those two together so that you can get people all riled up. I doubt that they have no parents would stand for a law that would endanger their daughters or allow them to be traumatized by a man joining them in their private space.

I cannot believe what this woman is saying. Yeah, that's bad. Like a man's just settling up to like a small girl in a bad and a public bathroom. Think of the man. Think of the fucking absolute bullshit that she's saying when she helped cover up the fact that her son was running around molesting her own children and

Receiving child pornography. Yeah, that's bad hypocrisy it's insane. Oh, Lee We should never place the preference of an adult over the safety and innocence of a child. I agree of an adult over the safety and innocence of a child. I agree. Yeah. Oh, Pirates, who do you want, underressing next to your daughter, at the public swimming pool's private changing area? I still believe that we're going to see.

Oh, my Christ, have mercy. We are a society that puts women and children first. Women, young ladies, and little girls deserve to use the rest room in any other women's facility in peace and safety uh... you speak up for protecting women and children call five seven five we should call this fucking number of our conversation with this dumb bitch

because here's the thing you are further stereotyping mhm traumatizing and victimizing people who already have it tough a fucking enough Imagine being born in the body of the opposite sex right because that's what's really going on Yeah, am I saying that never in the history have ever has someone just decided out of the blue that they wanted to be a man when they were a woman I don't know I don't fucking the blue that they wanted to be a man when they were a woman. I don't know. I don't fucking know. Maybe that has happened. But the truth is, the vast, you've got to believe that the vast majority

of people identify as trans or having a pretty rough go of it already, right? And they don't care about your fucking daughter. They just wanna go in the bathroom and be who they are, not what body they got put in, but what they really feel that they are, who they identify with greatly,

and the absolute hypocrisy of you calling, and talking about the protection of women and children after you let your son run Ripshot on your family and Northwest Arkansas, it's fucking horse shit. It is, it absolutely. You and Teresa Capuda belong in the same pool of human beings. It's fucking shit heads. It's just unbelievable.

Yeah, it's bad. Can you believe this? Can you believe what's being said here? No, I think we should call that number. We should call that number. We'll call that number and I'll get back to you. I'm gonna call that number. And then I am gonna get back to you.

Let's see what's going down with that number. Speaking of calling numbers, Chrissy. I think you know this, that a couple of weeks ago, I decided that, here's how it all went down. I get a phone call, or I get a friend request and Facebook from a friend that I know, a guy that I know, an older gentleman, but I know him. He's part of kind of like an extended family, right?

And. Is he a crazy uncle? No, he's not, well, I mean, he's a little bit crazy, but you know, who's not crazy at that age, right? And by that age, I mean 70 or however old he is. And the guy I know very well decides that he's going to re-friend me, which kind of doesn't make any sense. Because I already see that he's a friend of mine.

And then he's got an exact similar, like, a carbon copy page where he's asking to friend me again. Now, why would this guy be friending me again? What could possibly be going on? So I accept a friendship thinking that maybe this older gentleman doesn't understand how Facebook works and he's deleted the old one and recreated another one because of some problem or trouble or a new phone

or whatever. That's right, whatever. Right? Within probably 15 minutes, he says, how are you surviving COVID? And I'm like, oh, what? I, yeah, I'm surviving just fine. Thank you. I'm doing just great.

We're in my mask. I'm surviving. I'm surviving. Everything's good. And he responds, great. Have you heard about the COVID relief, an international United workers of, you know, belt workers association or something? And I'm like, I don't know. He's talking about, I'm going to call him Joe for the purposes of this conversation. We're talking about Joe, right? So I say, no, Joe,

I haven't. What is that? Oh, it's a great organization where we've been raising where the government gives free money to people who are in need during this crisis, right? And I was like, oh, sounds great. Thanks, Joe. Sounds like a real government organization. United belt workers of West Africa. I'm like, I don't, what? Okay, sure, yeah.

All right, sounds good. And that's why I said, so now I'm starting to suspect something is up, right? I'm like, this is like conversation. This is a health of family, health, what's been happening? No, hey, by the way. Have you heard of this government organization? Sorry about three Facebook pages that I'm

friending you from, right? I mean, none of that, right? And so I, but I start to smell something is going on. And I have for, I want to side note this, I have for many years been really good at sussing out the scammy bullshit, right? And I don't shy away from it. We where most people I think would just block the account and say not gonna be part of it Right or maybe even take it a little further because they don't understand what's going on. I know what's coming

Oh, and I decide to play in return. Yes, too shame my friend. Game on. Let's play So I say no Joe. I, I haven't. Tell me more. Tell me more. You can get up to $100 million in this new government program just by filling out some information. Here's those security numbers. Here's a new twist. Yeah. Your address, your your home phone number where you're currently standing in your house Your wife's pro-size Your dead dog name Smell of vision Your Amazon account

Definitely your crack card numbers for sure.. I need your MX number expiration date. So, uh, I say, oh, tell, you know, if 100 million dollars free, you know, no obligation, you just have to give fill out a little bit of information. I'm sending this to you because I know you can probably use it. Well, how did you know, Joe, that I could use 100 million dollars? How did you know that I could use a hundred million dollars? What would you do off the low ball? Yeah, call me when they get the $250 million program. Not worth my time. Feel a little information. By the way, if you ever dealt with a government organization, there's just thing that's

a little bit of information, right? Trying to become a citizen of this fucking country. So I say, yeah, okay, Joe, oh, tell me more. How exactly do you get a part of this, you know, what's going on? Glad you asked, Brian. Please hold friend, old friend, old friend Joe. I've known for many years.

You know, I say, I say, he says, he says he says listen call this phone number and talk to you know John in a private account and I'm like John Abu Dhabl or whatever his name. I'm like, you know, obviously by the way most of these scams originate from Africa West Africa or India That's that's just these are just facts, right? Now, they also originate from Russia and Western Europe and Eastern Europe too. But this kind of scam, because I know about this, because I've done a lot of homework about it.

Yeah, I have to. Really originates mostly in India, right? Well, it's a money making. It's a money making operation. These guys go to work like everybody else. They work for somebody, that somebody pays them. They have commissions, they have commissions, they have targets, they have goals, they're trying to scam you out of money.

How they do that is an immediate of different ways. Oh, so many different ways. But here, let me take you through what happens. Okay. So I give the phone a fake phone number out that I have set up for just a telekate. Did you give the T-c-b? No, bro.

You should. T-c-b-tBTV minus, call me up. I give a fake phone number out that I have set up for just such an occasion. And I say, you know, call me here. But then when he calls, I text him back. And I say, I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. My mouth has been sewn shut for the last couple of weeks due to dental surgery. But you know, you know that because you saw my Facebook posts. Right.

Oh, yes. Of course I do. Right? Here's what goes. And I say, thank you. I say thank you very much. I desperately need that 100 million right now. That's what I say.

I said, I got to get out of this, I owe big bills for this mouth surgery. This got my mouth sewn shut. So if you get that $100 million to me tonight, and he says we can deliver this immediately. Okay. Cash. UPS. So, coming through and I'm sorry.

Thanks, Joe. I didn't know government organizations mailed you cash. via UPS, they don't even use their own service. They don't even use the United States Postal Service. They're going to spring for the UPS, right? They're going to put it in a sealed envelope and send it to me $100 million. So let me take you through what happens. Are you ready?

I'm going to go through this text. He says, first of all, here is what you look for. This is how you know that this is coming from India. You are highly welcome. Because I said thank you very much for including me in this incredible opportunity. He says you're highly welcome. Because that's the King's English. All right.

You are highly welcome. You are highly welcome. This is an on board. My name is agent David Lewis. Oh, David Lewis. From the social block grant agency. Sounds legit. The social block.

The Soviet, the Soviet block union. What? Please kindly give me your full name and email address to check and see if you are eligible to receive this grant. Oh, you can just run my, so you can just run my. Come on, Joe, you told me, you promised me. Hey, Joe, by the way, can I just borrow your, what kind of borrow a million dollars from you?

If you got a hundred million dollars, that's just borrow a million from you, I promise I'll pay it back. You don't want to find me? You know my address has been in my house before. And then he calls me, and I don't answer the phone, and he says, hello, right? Immediately, this is all happening within seconds, and I'm like answer the phone and he says hello, right? Immediately, this is all happening within seconds.

And I'm like, push you little fucker. What do you think of just sitting around waiting for your phone call? Told you my mouth was so shut and I give him the name David Wasserman, two, three, oh two Lincoln Street in Savannah, Georgia, right? Which happens to be a landmark of some source of confederately a landmark. Hold on while I run your verification process. And I say, oh, that's great. Thank you much.

He says, who told you about this program? And I said, yeah. And I said, oh, my friend Joe, who has an uncle, who was on Facebook. And he told me about this program for people like me. He told me to text you and wait for a reply. He said that his uncle is a great guy who knows many people about many things. We met a church one time, but I don't know him that well. He owns the deli down the street for my cousin in Indiana. They have great sandwiches. I'm hoping to get some free lunch next time we come. This is me and I get the money.

To which he says congratulations, Mr. David. Now we're on a first name basis. And now you're David? Yeah. Well, I'm David O'osserman, remember? All right. But I'm Mr. David now. Mr. David.

Yeah, be proper. Please. Be respectful. Highly respectful. Highly respectful. He says, you have qualified to receive this SSBG grant monies. The social block. The monies with an S.

Monies with an S. It's plural. I'm getting money. Good for you. To continue with your money, Grant, you will have to fill out an application form to avoid double claiming so that we can locate your destination and also so the FedEx men won't deliver the money to the wrong person. Are you ready to fill out that application form now? FedEx, man.

Oh my gosh. This is such wonderful news. We have really been through a tough time lately. I blew up my back playing on a broken jackrabbit and my wife Sue is being treated for bloke. She is really sad about that. So we cannot work because the mule is broken. If we do get this money, we'll have enough to buy that finger blast. I've always wanted. Have you ever tried the ranch at RVs? I can send some to you. This is the best way I have ever had.

Except that one time Sally Sue, my stepdaughter had her first period. We were really excited about that one. What do I do next? We're ready. Yeah. He says, please fill out your full name, your address, married or single, do you own a house? Do you have want cash or check your occupation and your monthly income? Accurate information is required for an evaluation.

We will respect your privacy. And we never sell information to our partners. Who's your partners? You're the US government. All these informations, all these informations must be answered with honesty and sincerity. You have to be very fast so we can proceed. Very, very fast. So we can proceed in time.

Do you understand? By the way, this is all in capital letters. And then he texts right away, Mr. David Wasserman, do you understand? So I respond to my name, my full name is David McGillicuddy Wasserman, the third. He asked for my address. I say, I gave it already. Just scroll up. He says, how old are you?

61 and a half. How many are you married? I'm married three times, but divorced once. I do have a boyfriend also. Do you own a rent your home? I own two homes. This one and Nana's home at Tame Creek. Nana's. How would you like your cash or check? I said cash. We need it now. Tonight is possible. I can clean the floors of the local jacksack. How much money do you make? $16,000 a month with my income from the accidents of the roof of the Walmart?

And then he says, you must move fast. And I say, okay, I'm moving as fast as possible. I only have four fingers between both hands. I can't even... He's been fast. I only have four fingers between both hands. I can't even wipe properly alone. Let alone text that fast. Do you have a girlfriend? What do I do next?

Where is the money and how does it come? Do you have a girlfriend? It's the FedEx money. I know, and he says... The FedEx men. The FedEx men. He says, thanks for getting back to us. Kindly stay online with me.

I quickly submit all your information into our database. OK. Question mark, question mark. OK. Oh, I'm not going anywhere. Me and Penny, my pet Lama, are right here waiting for your reply. And he says, I'm doing it OK. And I said, oh, how's your day so far?

Where are you working from? It's very late. Can you help my mom get money too? She is in need. She says good. These identification numbers, benefit, and your information. You have to keep this information from people.

The FedEx. The FedEx. The FedEx will ask you when they come to deliver your winning check. My winning check. I win the lottery at the, this is a grant. grant kindly write it down and keep it safe okay oh my god oh my god oh my god I have such a raging red head right now what's next we've got all your information and we're working hard on your winning check I ask for cash by the way right we just have forward your information to the

world bank to get your grant now this what to get your money prepared for FedEx. Wait, it's going to the World Bank and then FedEx is delivering out of get it. We're there going to bring your winning check to the door. You will have to choose how much you want to receive from our list below. Are you ready to make your choice? Are you ready? Yes, and I said, I just dripped a little bit of man milk all over me. I'm so excited.

Have you ever heard of the The movie double-dog paradise. It's about this nice man who gives his neighbor the stiffy It's the it's the action movie you've been looking for I'd be happy to send a copy. Can I have your address to send a card? Please? So then he sends me a list of Options the options are from one to 100 million dollars. It's literally written out, like, you know, 100,000, 200,000. It's like 16 pages long.

Choose from the amount you wish to claim. Be fast and also include your name for today's delivery. Wait, don't you have already had my name for delays delivery? Today's, it's three o'clock in the morning. What's going on? Well, when you're dealing with the World Bank, things move quite a lot. Yeah, I know, things move.

You gotta make your choices now They've got planes going back and forth with money. That's right. All over Phoenix planes full of cash just you know straight to the head Facebook headquarters When you work for the SSBG Sarah a lot of things going on you got to take into consideration I'm just glad he's dealing with me and And I said, listen, I'm ready to make that choice. Like I did that one time when I was in band camp and the band director said, you have a choice.

Suck me off or fist me later. Choose wisely. I said, of course, the fist. I had the smallest hands in the entire band and I knew it would make him happy, but he wasn't happy. He just got mad and told me to put on the ball gag. Well, I showed him.

I took that ball gag and it touched it to my anus. I showed him. Do you have a favorite ball gag? I collect them. I have a rare 1920 Chinese ball gag. We're $120,000. It works like a charm. You want me to try? Oh, sorry. I thought you were talking. And so I make the choice $700,000. Okay. Are you ready to make the payment of $10,000? Because it's safe to know. That's right. You don't want to seem too greedy, right? You know, when you're dealing with the world.

I'll be your world bank. When you're dealing with the SSBG, you got to play it safe, right? In the middle, you don't want to make it no, you don't want to be that guy, the squeaky wheel, like give me that $100 million. Where's that FedEx plane landing in my front yard? In the men's. Yeah, in the men's. In the men's.'s that FedEx plane landing in my front yard? And the men.

Yeah, and the men. The men FedEx. The men's FedEx are coming. So he says, are you ready to make that payment of $10,000 so you can get your $700,000 delivered today? And I said, oh yes, I am. Do you take it? Oh, you've got to make a, yeah, I don't know.

You've got to pay $10,000 to get an end. That's how it works. That's right. This is how it works 10,000 to get in and out. How it works, that's right. This is how it works. They get you so excited. Yeah. Granny, so excited about how much money you... It just pays 10,000.

It just pays 10,000. I can get this. That's right. That's why they ask how old you are. They want to make sure you're old, because they know the older people don't have the ability to... It's not that they're so much, but most of them are very smart. But they think that something real is coming down down because they don't understand how the internet works

So I reply oh, yes, I am ready. Do you take diners club? And he said good. Do you have monies with you now? We are packing your money Again, do you take the diners club? Tell me, Savalis is my favorite. He has such a shiny head, but he's the bee's knees. Did you see what I did there? Oh, great. Where do I send it?

Where do I send the catch? He says, hello, do you work at Walmart? I work at Walmart. He says, just stay calm and be responding to my questions. Yeah, stay calm. Everybody's stay calm. You're getting $700,000 from the FedEx men's. I can just see some people like,

hi, I'm crystal just like running around their apartment. Yeah. Get it, my. The FedEx men are coming up. I'm getting money, I'm getting money. Stay calm. Stay calm and be responding to my questions quickly, as fast as possible. Are you hearing me? That's what he says. I

Says no, I don't work at Walmart. I Said no, I used to work at the Walmart in Scroats sack park But which is next to the town of penisville But I fell off the roof trying to clean come off the HVAC unit So I got a one1 million settlement from them. I know work at the library cleaning out the diaper basket. It's a fun job. I meet lots of nice parents.

And then he says, what? And I said, no need to be rude. No need to be rude. I can hear you just fine. I said, how do I get the money? He says, are you ready to make your payment? I said, I told you, yes, now don't make me mad. And then he sends me a video of people packing money.

Like literally a video, a 16 second video of people packaging money. Yeah, you see it? It's on there, right? And then so I said, I feel like you're mad. I know people packaging into money for me That's a world bank waiting for the FedEx men to show up They're packing their money We're packing your money's right now. It's a nice initial investment

I said I feel like we're getting off on the wrong foot. I feel like you're mad at me. How do we repair this relationship? And he says and then I said wow is that the money you're packing for me? And he says yes, you will have to go to Walmart and get amics gift cards gold dots make sure $10,000 FedEx will use it for gas and delivery fees What are they filling up a 747 delivery fees and gas And I said I said would you like a picture of me? And I said, I said, would you like a picture of me? Cause now I'm getting ready. I'm putting, now that he's sending media,

I'm like, oh, so I'm putting pictures of like, you know, huge dicks, you know, porn stars, fat, roly, poli guys, whacking off their micro penis. I'm getting ready. I'm getting ready so that I know that, you know, cause I know I'm ready. I'm like, okay, this is gonna come to a conclusion pretty soon. Well, how can I, how much can I mark, more can I fake it? But I decided to take it just a little bit further

He said you will have to go to Walmart and get a American Express gift cards gold dot do you understand that gold dot? I don't know I said I can't try but my mom can take me can you wait three minutes? I have to get her from the jacuzzi It's her wine and viking and I I said okay. I got mom. She's going to get, she's going to take me by the way, you're very pushy. Stagel. And he says, your money's been all packed. And I said, okay, we're getting in the car. Which Walmart, the one at Labia's town, our nipples creek? He said, you don't, you can't tell people about this. They will come to rob you. Oh, no, so now he's trying to be pretty. Yeah, he's looking out for me. He's not the world bank. He knows that people are on their way to get me. He's just

trying to help me out. So I say, you can tell anyone about that. You can tell anybody. Sh. Cheating ninja secret. I'm here. I'm here about the cheating ninja. I need $10,000 in American Express. Go that. So he says, are you on your way to Walmart? And I said, I told you, yes, my mom, she's driving me. And he said, okay, get back to me when you get the cards. And I said, well, my brother Larry's coming.

Or excuse me, I said, and Larry's coming. He's my butler. He's letting me borrow the money until the bank opens on Sunday morning. And I said, okay, I'm going to be there in five minutes. And he says, snap the card. It's an snapp me picture of the card before you send it to me before you purchase it. Okay. And I said, okay, hold on, we're pulling up right now. I said, this is exciting. I will have the manager help me because the thing they're afraid of is that you're going to get a manager law enforcement involved, right?

Because then they think that there's some way that Walmart security can figure this out. Yeah. And I know this because I know enough about, because by the way, this is not the first time I've done this, I've done this many times. So I understand the gig, right? And I said, this is very exciting.

I'm gonna have the manager help me sense it so much money. And he says, nope. Oh, no. They won't take your money. No. Just go to the cards, activate it, and text me back. And I said, oh, do you think they'll rob me? And he says, you don't have to tell anybody for your public safety, for your public safety.

What? And I said, I'm at a government. Yeah. I'm at that government. That. Yeah, I'm a government. That world bank, they're helping everybody out these days. It's just given money to everybody. And I said, okay, I'm at the Walmart. And he said, don't worry, I go, I go, I'm at the Walmart.

Don't worry, I'll ask security to watch the manager. And he says, no, don't tell anybody. Just go pick your cards. Are you at the Walmart? And I said, yes, I told you I'm inside. And he said, send a photo. And I said, I have to get some, I, don't tell anybody. Just go pick your cards. Are you at the Walmart? And I said, yes, I told you I'm inside. And he said, send a photo. And I said, I have to get some period pads for my wife. And he said, hey, just tell the manager.

You're sending the cards to your family members. That way they won't ask too many questions. OK. And I said, OK, I got it. It's our little secret. And he said, say, go home. And he said, send me the pictures of Walmart right now. And so I found a picture of Walmart

I found a picture of one of those you know the crazy people at Walmart I found it and I said hold on I don't want to draw attention to myself and he says okay Well, it's one of these little hand symbols like thumbs up. Yeah And so I Crazy lady Put this on TZB podcast if I can. Oh my God. Okay, so then I say, look at this lady.

She's so funny. And he says, let me know if you were done. And I said, I said, ha ha. And then he said, the money's already waiting for your cards. And I said, okay, do you think this lady is drunk? Is she a mess? And he said, go get your card. Go get this.

It's your thing. He's like, get up, Shout out. Give me your cards. And so I sent him a picture of the card rack at Walmart. OK. OK. So he thinks I'm there. Yeah. And I say, which card?

He says, look for the ones the American Express with the Gold Dots. I said, should I get Starbucks for the FedEx drivers and Chili's for their lunch break? He said, no, Gold Dots. And I says yes, go dots. And I said, okay, I will get extra chilies ones for him. Anyone. They will be hungry after the long journey. Yeah. I'll live in the world. I'll live in the world.

Land in charge. That's right. He said, oh, or you could get eBay or Sephora. And I said, oh, eBay to pay for gas this BP take eBay cards He says let me see the cards and I said Sephora is awesome. They have the shade of lipstick. I like to wear shh It's our little secret I said okay Sephora $10,000 and Sephora is that okay for the driver? Can you imagine walking up to the Walmart and being like I like to charge this card with $10,000? Secret How much do we put on this card ten grand ten grand any person that goes to Walmart and that's for ten grand worth of anything

So he says just purchase it get back to. Send me the photo so that of activation. I said, the lady is asking me why I need $10,000 worth of four of clothes. I told her my family loves makeup. And he says, don't tell her. She will know you're she will be a robber. And I said, hold on, I'll take a photo after I leave. I said, okay, you and me, it's a secret mission. Like two guys plundering around in the dark waiting for sparks to fly. I go, this is exciting. I think I'm in love with you. I said, my mom wants to know what time the money will get here. And he says, 8 a.m. at your doorstep. It's delivered. It's 3 a.m. So we've got fast delivery service. And so then he says,

are you still activating federal government grant money is not alone? What? So I said, oh yes, there's a problem. She can't ring it up. She is getting the manager. Don't worry. I won't tell him it's for my cousin Larry. He likes makeup. He works in the deli department of the store. He says, again, snap a picture of the place. I said do you have time to have coffee with me sometime? He says I am still working snap walmart. And I said I know you got government jobs suck. Don't worry I'm leaving now. And he says did you buy the card? I said yes hold on I'm gonna take a picture. I said are you ready? He says ASAP. I said are you ready? He says now. And I said, are you ready? He says ASAP. I said, are you ready? He says now. And I send him a picture of a gang gang with five men getting jacked off by one really

roton to guy. And he says, what is this? And I said, oops, wrong picture. So then I send him a picture of long down silver, the man went to 17 inch penis. And I said, that's the correct picture. And he said, ha, ha, go fuck yourself. I got him. He did do it. I said, I at least I wasted one hour that he would otherwise not be fucking with some old.

So I feel better about it. You never gonna know who they are. You need to go work for the government. You're looking out for people. I know look at me doing good now Get back at me now Gold that sound like Frank. I imagine Frank's voice when I hear that gold. That's So much fun. Oh my god if you have a great story about you

Communicating with a scammer because I know I'm not the only one who does this for fun I'm sure there are lots of people that do this for fun. Let us know info at tcbpodcast.com That's info at tcbpodcast.com. I want to hear your story. Maybe you can come on the commercial break And you can tell that story because we would just think that would be dandy We'd have many FedEx men's waiting for you here To give you many special products of money. That's right. We're packing up dollars right now. It's like oceans 12 over here We're in a secret vault somewhere in the middle of a locked casino waiting for the FedEx men's How do I bank is funding us? How are they gonna get from the world's bank to my house in five hours?

I mean, I got to think this out a little bit Yeah, I think even my even my grandma who's 97 years old Would probably go it doesn't make any sense Right, but then again, maybe not she watches judge you But it was coming from Joe your trusted source on Facebook. I trusted shoot my trusted source So I had to explain to Joe that is Good. I've been copied. Yeah, and then he was like what was the grant real and I'm like Thank God Grant real and I'm like, thank God.

Thank God that Joe was the Fisher and not the fish. Right, that's all I gotta say. Oh, was the grant real? Maybe got it hard. Yes it was, great. I just got $700,000 in Phoenix this morning. Was one of those little small envelopes? I came to the doors.

I came to the doors. Came to the doors, right to my houses, in Savannah. The Robert E. Lee statue in Savannah now is $700,000 richer. I'm sorry, that was a bad choice. I just, I wanted to think of an address. I wanted to give him Rigley Field, but I figured if it was like so obvious that he wouldn't play along with me.

So I've done that before and people are like, this is not a real address, You know, go fuck yourself. And I'm like, well, I wanna get them on the phone. So next time what I'm going to do is I'll be here in the studio, I'll get them on the phone so we can actually hear that. Yeah, we should definitely fuck around with some of these people.

That's right. tcbpodcast.com is where you go. You can read all the show notes, learn more about Chrissy and I, and you can listen to all the episodes, watch all of the YouTube videos. At the commercial break on Instagram, make sure you get us at 4705-848-449. Texas or leave us a message.

Tell us about your favorite playing with the scam or story we'd love to hear more about it. Please like and smash that subscribe bell. Smash it. Smash that subscribe bell or I'm going to bust you out. Look at my body. Go back, listen to the Frank Bernardo episode. Yes. They're always a ton of fun. Frank, we love you.

I want to say this, best to you out there. Yes. And best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. And until next time, I love you. Love you. Bye. Bye.

The commercial break. New episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and join the commercial break club on Clubhouse to join in live recordings. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green,

co-hosted by Chrissy Holdley, with additional content provided by Tina Cano. . [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC