The Commercial Break - Fire Sauce Roid Rage

Episode Date: June 27, 2024

Bryan's got roid rage in a Taco Bell! You truly never know what you're going to get here at TCB. Christina Applegate Celine Dion & Stiff Person Syndrome Launch Krissy off a yacht! PLEASE follow us... on instagram An Ariana Grande poem fart Hello to my stalker

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Starting point is 00:01:42 Ontario only. Please play responsibly gambling problem call connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to talk with an advisor free of charge bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario I thought it was a nickname because you drive a Subaru I drive a Subaru cuz I'm gay. Fast. Back it up, back it up. Two, two, three, go make a... On this episode of The Commercial Break. I'm up there, I'm eating by myself.
Starting point is 00:02:13 There's no one in the restaurant whatsoever, right? Victoria, you're eating and talking about... I am literally watching by myself. I've got the news on my phone and I'm eating and I'm just like in full on Roy rage Mentality, I'm not gonna fuck to kill this person. I'm gonna get that person Call the lawyer on that guy The next episode of the commercial break starts now. It's so 30 in the morning! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hodley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us. We certainly appreciate it. All right, quick correction on the show, which happens so often. I know. I don't even forget about it. It's not a correction.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I'm just, well, we got to stop calling it a correction. Whatever. We are going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show.
Starting point is 00:03:04 We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. We're going to be doing a little bit of a show. which happens so often, I can't even, I don't even forget about it. It's not a correction, I'm just, well, we gotta stop calling it a correction, whatever. We're gonna be in Florida, not in October, in September, as Christina pointed out to me the last episode, I said it was October 25th and 26th, it's not, it's September 25th and 26th, Orlando and Tampa, you know the deal, I'll say it ad nauseam until the day that we get there. So just get used to it. That's a Wednesday and a Thursday night. Orlando first, Tampa second. I'll tell you about ticket details soon. Let us know if you're going to come. A lot of people, a lot of people sharing that they're going to be there. I love this.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Yeah. Including our boy, Sean Morris and a couple of others. Sean Morris. I like Sean Morris. That guy's always sending me good ideas about what to talk about. He says we should have Christina Applegate as a guest on the show. Sure, Sean, any day now Christina Applegate's gonna show up on the commercial break. I'd love to have Christina Applegate. I love her too. Yeah, she's just not gonna show up on the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Yeah. I don't think so. It's a far reaching request. Yeah, I think, you know, listen, we have a lot of great guests, but I think there's a certain type of celebrity guest that just may not be for the commercial break. And I think Christina Applegate is dealing with a whole lot of shit in her life right now and I don't think a stop at TCB is on her list.
Starting point is 00:04:11 I don't think so either. But it's a nice thought. It's a nice thought. It's a nice thought. Thank you very much. Speaking of having challenging health conditions, you know there's a new documentary out, I think, yesterday, I believe on Hulu. And it's one of those, on Celine Dion
Starting point is 00:04:25 and her stiff person syndrome. And so I was watching some clips. I got like a little clip package of the show of this documentary. And in one scene, she's like, she has this stiff person syndrome, and I forget the actual term for it, but what a terrible affliction.
Starting point is 00:04:42 I mean, terrible. It broke her ribs. It broke ribs. Really? Your own body breaking ribs. Yes. Wow. Because you go into like almost a state of rigor mortis where your body, I don't know, they explained it on the documentary. Watch the documentary. No, all your muscles tightened
Starting point is 00:04:59 and you become so stiff, including your throat. Everything tightens up. And if you have a really bad spasm, they can put so much pressure on your body, everything tightens up. And if you have a really bad spasm, they can put so much pressure on your body, it can break bones. And the ribs are some of the weakest bones in the body, so they have been broken by her stiff person syndrome. That's awful. God. Terrible. Terrible. And listen, like Celine, don't like Celine, you know, I get it. She is one of the best singers that has ever lived. It's got to be true. And there's two songs of hers. Every time I hear it, I'm like, holy shit, that girl's got such a voice.
Starting point is 00:05:32 I mean, what a talent. What a gift. And now the throat is closing up and so she's having a really hard time singing some of those notes. And what brings on these episodes is stress, strain, and overstimulation. So in the documentary, this part I read, I didn't see, in the documentary, she goes in for a singing session, she's trying to put out a new album, which is taking a lot of time and it's very stressful on her because she has to deal with this syndrome also. She's not able to hit the high notes like she used to and it's just crushing to her. Right, and it's got to be too, like mind over matter too.
Starting point is 00:06:02 What a mind fuck. Yeah, because then you're expecting it, you're afraid it might happen and you're expecting it to happen. And so she goes for a day of in the studio work and then afterwards she has an episode. This episode is caught on camera. And I'm telling you what, Chrissy, it is seriously disturbing, seriously disturbing to watch. I did catch the clip. I think TMZ might have a clip if you want to go Google, you can find it somewhere. But it is like, holy shit, please don't let me go that way. I know.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Just let me like, I don't know, fall asleep or something. Heart attack at the grocery, you know, just like don't know. Just gone, gone. It's just a bit, gone, gone. Yeah, I don't want one of those slow demise kind of things. Wouldn't you go to like Switzerland and just put yourself to sleep? But she's Celine Dion and she wants to keep singing.
Starting point is 00:06:50 She wants, you know, her fans and whatever. Well, that's what I said. I think I wanted to like rent a yacht and then you guys can just launch me off. Oh, like in a cannon? Like a chair. Oh, a chair. No, we gotta do it in grand style, Chrissy.
Starting point is 00:07:05 I like the cannon. I'm getting a cannon, like a circus cannon. I'm going to put it on the back of like a Bezos-like yacht. We're going to spend 10 days in the Mediterranean. Everybody's going to party. Yeah, we're going to float around. We're going to stop in Majorca and some of the Greek Isles and then we'll go over to, what's that place, Montenegro and we'll... At the end, I'll say goodbye. And at the end, you'll say goodbye and I'll be like, the next episode of the commercial
Starting point is 00:07:25 break starts now. Boom. And I'll just shoot you into the Adriatic Sea, just whoop. Miles and miles, I just see you flying miles and miles and miles. Bye. Yes, good, bye. We shouldn't joke. good, bye. We shouldn't joke. No, but.
Starting point is 00:07:48 But we are. No, but this thing with Celine Dion is no laughing matter. And it really does make me feel for her. The one thing that you get that you're on this earth to do is the one thing that's now causing, not causing, but the one thing that you can't do. And then the one thing that if you try to do, then can cause so much strain and strife. I don't see how she gets back on stage like that. Like, you just can't have an episode like that on stage. And then they like put
Starting point is 00:08:12 something in her nose to help her relax. Like, it's got to be some kind of really strong muscle relaxer, painkiller, something like that. Poor girl. Poor girl. Anyway, speaking of stiff people, Biden and Trump debate tonight. Poor Biden. I know. It's just so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad. So anyways, you're looking forward to that.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Yeah, good on you. I have a lot of friends that are texting me like, oh, dude, let's so bad. So anyway, if you're looking forward to that, yeah, good on you. I have a lot of friends that are texting me like, oh, dude, let's go get drunk and watch the debate. And I get drunk and watch the debate. I just get drunk and watch my grandpa bang into the walls, yammer about politics. It's just as good. That's what's going to happen. It's just Thanksgiving. Yeah, it's just Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving on TV. It's two old white guys, two old senile white guys arguing with each other. I'll be interested to see how that mute button works out.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Yeah, I know. Yeah, I wonder if Trump's just going to scream up. Again, even in this late hour, I still say there is a high level, there's a high possibility that Trump just doesn't show up because, you know, I don't know. Anyway, I want to move on from politics, but I'm just sharing. If he shows up, then I will be wrong, but I just have a feeling that for some reason, I have a feeling that he's going to find a way to score a lot of this. Find a reason not to.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, you know, in his mind, I wonder if he thinks this is really a good idea for him. I am surprised he agreed to it. I'm surprised. Yeah, I'm surprised the guy, well, anyway. Yeah, moving on. So, hey, I want to talk to the audience about something very quickly.
Starting point is 00:09:58 And just to let you know, we've now recorded this segment twice, and this is the third time, because I have a really hard time. We don't like to ask people to do stuff. It's just not in our nature. We're just, I don't know. It's tough. It's tough. It's tough to ask you, the listener, for something because we're just wondering if there's any listeners at all. I know.
Starting point is 00:10:17 So that at the end of the day, I don't even know who I'm talking to. But, you know, we tended to, I don't know, I think we tend to fall in the imposter syndrome of the creator spectrum, so it's hard for us to step up and, you know, wield any kind of power. We can't even say it without laughing. I know. All right, but here's the deal. For so many years, we've been pumping out content, four or five years almost, we've been pumping out content on the RSS feed and we're doing okay for ourselves.
Starting point is 00:10:50 It's not a bad gig. We're doing well. We get to laugh every day. We get to laugh every day. Odyssey has been really good to us. We have great sponsors. We have great listeners, great listeners, so many of you that we communicate with almost on a daily basis, some of you on that telephone here in the studio. But one of the things that kind of irks us a little bit, and we've been collectively as a team, we've been asked to talk about this. Our Instagram.
Starting point is 00:11:17 The buildup. Yeah, the buildup. I am going to be shot out of a cannon in September. We were asking one of you to please pull the cord. What I'm trying to say is, there's a 10% chance we show up to the Orlando show. Right, we can't believe we agreed to do it. We can't believe we agreed to do it. 10% chance we show up.
Starting point is 00:11:42 We really do have a pretty miserable Instagram following as compared to the amount of people that listen to the show. It's just not very impressive. It's not impressive in any way, shape or form. It's much more impressive than it was. I think we had less than a thousand until about a year and a half ago, and then we've gained thousands more. But it's still, guys, it's really kind of paltry and pathetic.
Starting point is 00:12:04 And so one of the ideas was get on air. It kind of does make us look bad in comparison to like when we have guests. They're like, what? I mean, it's such a big metric now of how many social media followers you have. It's one of the it's the game you have to play. Yeah, it is the game you have to play. So we've jumped on this. We're going to play the game. Yeah, because is the game you have to play. So we've jumped on this, we're gonna play the game.
Starting point is 00:12:26 Cause before it was a little bit spotty, how much we were, you know, we put out content on this, on the show, on the podcast, but on Instagram, we weren't really, didn't have a cohesive strategy. So, or any strategy. So we're gonna try and get more content out there and we just need you to follow us. That's it.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Like Chrissy just said it in a nutshell, we did a miserable job for a couple of years of paying attention to social media because we really wanted to focus on the show and because we were too lazy to put anything out there on social media. It just wasn't our thing. But now- Well, again, it's like the promotion of yourself. Yeah. It was hard for us. It's hard to do. It's really hard for us to do. It's just not in our personalities
Starting point is 00:13:08 to go around. I mean, I can't- So now Astrid's doing it. I can't even tell strangers that I have a podcast. I know. You know? So that's how hard it is for me to share the good news about the podcast or any news about the podcast. So Christy's right. We did a miserable job. Astrid's been on it for the last six months. She's done a really great job of pumping out content, clips of the show, clips of the guest, and we're going to start creating content specifically for Instagram, specifically.
Starting point is 00:13:34 We have a goal, 10,000 followers by the end of the year. I know that if a smaller portion of our audience will follow us on Instagram, we can get to that 10,000 relatively easy. So we're asking if you could please take time out of your day to go follow us on Instagram. Now, I don't want you to go out of your way or do anything crazy, but if you're driving, pull over immediately. If you're at the doctor, if you're in surgery, tell them to hold on one second while you follow us on Instagram. Or just the next time you get on Instagram, because you know everybody checks it every day. Just the next time you get on Instagram, because you know everybody checks it every day. Just next time you get on there, go, oh, let me get to the commercial break. And it's at the commercial break. It's at the commercial break. If you could do us
Starting point is 00:14:14 a favor and follow us. And then if we get to a certain number, I think Astrid shared 10,000, we can start group chats, we can do all kinds of cool things. And we may be able to do stuff like, you know, early pre-sales for tickets to our shows. And I don't know who's gonna wanna buy the tickets early, but early, early pre-sales, early access, early access, giveaways, merch, all that. I do love to do those. Yeah, me too. We could do games and stuff too. We got like all that, a whole Pandora's box opens when you get to a certain number and we're just not there. So please follow. A whole bunch of new content comes your way
Starting point is 00:14:51 as if you don't have enough, a whole bunch of new content. So do us a favor at the commercial break, could you please, could we please get, you know, 10,000 before the end of the year? That just means you and all of your Finstas need to follow us on Instagram and we would certainly appreciate it. So I'm going to leave it at that.
Starting point is 00:15:07 I'm going to say at the commercial break, please follow us. We certainly would appreciate it. You know, I was telling Astrid this the other day and on the piggyback of the piggy fronting of this conversation. Thank you. Piggy front. Piggy fronting! Yes!
Starting point is 00:15:23 Yes! I can feel someone kicking me in the chucha. That's my sign for your husband was an alcoholic cheating on you. I was, I have an amazing Instagram algorithm going on, Chrissy. Literally shows me people who have one view on the reals. I know, you're telling me that. I have the best Instagram algorithm ever. It doesn't know what to do with you.
Starting point is 00:15:50 Christian nationalists preach, and I'm not talking about the ones make like satire, I'm talking about actual Christian nationalists, like not satire that I find so fucking funny. From that to grandma talking to herself, reminding herself to buy eggs at the grocery store on Instagram reels. Like, I have the most, with one view, I have the most amazing Instagram algorithm. The girls in the yoga.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Love the girls in the yoga. Love the crazy, so I'll get like a guy who has been trying to not wash his hair for 15 years in a row, you know what I'm saying? He's like going for, it's a vibe, he's got a vibe, and he's talking to himself about how the birds aren't real and all this other stuff. He'll go on for half an hour and I'll look and the guy's got 175 likes on his reel, and then he's got 15,000 followers. And all it is, is just him talking about how the birds aren't real. He's obviously not all there and he's got 15,000 followers. And all it is, is just him talking about how the birds aren't real. He's obviously not all there and he's got 15,000 followers. We can do this. I have a feeling we can do this. If he can have 15,000 followers, why can't we?
Starting point is 00:16:55 And we just need to talk about some crazy stuff. Oh, we're going to talk about, we do talk about crazy stuff. It's insane. That's natural. It is natural. The other day I got served, what was stuff. Oh, we do. It's insane. It's natural. It is natural. The other day I got served, what was it? Oh, okay. So I wish I could find the reel. I tried to go find it.
Starting point is 00:17:11 I closed out of it on accident. I wish I could go find it so I could share with you this Instagram reel. Okay, ready? I'm ready. Guy is in his house and he is completely disheveled. And there is trash all over his house. He's living basically in a trash bag, right? And so he's- Like a hoarder situation?
Starting point is 00:17:31 Yeah, like a hoarder situation, but way worse than that. I don't even know what's going on, but the way he's panning the camera around himself, you can tell that behind him, it's a bad situation. Wherever he is, it's a bad situation. Yikes. situation, wherever he is, it's a bad situation. And he is saying, he is reading a poem to Ariana Grande. And Chrissy, I have never heard something so funny, so interesting, and so heartfelt in my entire life. And it all ends with a huge fart. That's it. The guy, Chrissy, I'm not even kidding. It's like, do it on there. You know, roses are red, violets are blue, everything's wonderful, so are you. And then he's like, good night. And he just closes half the thing. I go onto his page, 27,000 followers, 27,000. The entire page is filled with ramblings of
Starting point is 00:18:32 a madman in love with Ariana Grande. And there's a lot of- There's something for everyone. There is something for everyone. That's what I like to say. So is there one for us? Can we have one? Can we have one? So anyway, I thought to myself, why not do a collab with this guy? Yeah. Let's hook up with the dude. We'll do a little, you know, they do the Instagram collabs. Let's do a collab. I can fart like anybody else. The screen share thing. Yes. What I really wanted to do was send him a picture of you
Starting point is 00:18:57 and be like, your new love. Please don't. Your new love. Oh no. Oh yeah. We're waiting for Chrissy's first stalker to appear. There was someone on the text messages for a while who was really quite smitten with you, but they went away. They went away. And then there was, and now there's someone that's quite smitten with Christina. Ooh. Yeah, and her sultry voice during the transitions. So let's hear that sultry voice and then we'll be back.
Starting point is 00:19:24 That was a good transition. Is that a good one? Do you like that? Yeah. It's true though, there is someone who's quite smitten with her sultry voice. Nice, of course. All right, let's take a break and then we'll be back. What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TC video. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break
Starting point is 00:19:46 and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash The Commercial Break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show.
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Starting point is 00:21:19 with iGaming Ontario. It's Sophia Franklin. And if you don't already know, listen up. My mini series is live now each and every Monday. And the only person missing is you. We're dating, we're dumping, we're learning, and we're tapping into all the feels that originally brought us together.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Listen and follow Sophia with an F on the Odyssey app or wherever you got your podcasts. What you watching these days? What am I watching? What are you watching? What do you got on the TV? What do you got on the boob tube? I'm watching, well, Dark Matter on...
Starting point is 00:22:06 Are we on? Keep on talking. Are we back? Yeah, we're back. Yeah, we're here. That's how I go cold into it. I thought I'd get out of my awkward transition phase and just start talking. Okay, ready? I'll start again. And we're back. There we go.
Starting point is 00:22:20 There we go. Much better. Now I sound professional. What'd you watch? What you watching? I watch all kinds of stuff. Yeah? Yeah, I mean, I'm always looking around for different things. Jeff will come in. I mean, I'm watching, you know, true crime stuff.
Starting point is 00:22:37 I'm watching romance stuff, Bridgerton. Oh my God, that Bridgerton. Bridgerton was one that I've gotten into. Hulu, what was on Hulu? I don't, there's just so much. There is so much content. Like we were saying earlier, I think I'm watching six things.
Starting point is 00:22:53 I am, I'm watching six shows at the same time. And depending on what mood on me, and I'll just flip into that show and then tune back to that show. I have a hard time keeping up actually. I'm like, where were we in this episode? I know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:03 I watched this one that was on, I think it was on Netflix, about broke athletes. Oh. That like, you know, they become big stars in a film. They spend all their money, they buy restaurants. Yes. And all the bad investments that they've done. Yeah. There's a lot of, I met a guy who was a performer, professional football player, and he was trying to help athletes,
Starting point is 00:23:27 like young athletes, people who are like first year and professional, whatever, baseball, you know, football, soccer, whatever it was. And he was trying to, like, he would go around educating them. NFL teams, pro sports teams would pay him to go and to educate these young men and women on what it takes to be financially responsible and how everybody and their mother and your mother will be asking for something. And how you can't save the village if you don't have any resources to save the village. You have to save something for yourself. You got to make sure you take care of yourself first. And he always likened it to, you know, when they say that oxygen is going to deploy from the airline, you have to put the mask on yourself first, right?
Starting point is 00:24:08 Before you can help somebody else. Before you help somebody else. Yeah. And I always thought that was a wise idea. I'd be interested in that show. Find that, you can find that title for me. Let me know. Okay. Stop what you're doing. Stop what you're watching. Everybody put it down. And I'm going to give you two recommendations right now of things to watch that I think were fascinating. Number one is the craziest, it's called the Amazon 5000, the lost tapes of the craziest expedition ever. There is a gentleman, a former Mossad agent or Israeli guard guy, older, in his late 60s, mid 60s, late 60s, who decided, he got no,
Starting point is 00:24:48 he got like a little spot of melanoma on his nose, and after he went through that struggle, he's like this kind of guy who goes out there and does all these adventure racing and all that other stuff. He decided that he was going to put together an expedition or an adventure race, so to speak, where he would cross the entirety of South America. He would go through the Amazon jungle from one coast to the next coast. Like from the top to bottom or side to side? East to west, west to east, right? From the Pacific to the Atlantic.
Starting point is 00:25:17 And he would try and do it in a year and he would bring people along. And this would all be for cancer research. I like it. Okay. Sounds like a great idea, right? Only no one's ever done it. There's a reason why no one's ever done it is because the Amazon jungle is not the place where you want to get lost. No, fuck no. Nothing about this sounds interesting. Let me share with you a little Brian insight. People say when you go out of the country, you know, oh, I don't like the touristy spots. Well, I don't like the touristy spots either, mainly because of the tourists.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Yes, exactly. But there's a reason why they're touristy spots is because they probably are interesting in some way, shape or form. That's why everybody wants to go there. When I go on vacation, the most adventure I want to have is a Boscolo massage. That's as far as I want to go. a Boscolo Massage. That's as far as I want to go. You're like Jeff.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I am so like Jeff. I want to go on the beach. I want to be pampered. It's one of the few days a year that I can just, hopefully, relax and get someone to bring me a cold drink. I do not want to go on a 10-day expedition through the fucking Amazon jungle. There's nothing about that that sounds interesting to me. Nothing. So I admire people who really like to take that kind of adventure. You know the meme that's going around on Instagram where you wake up the first day of vacation to find out your travel partner is the, let's go on an adventure race kind of person and you're the, I want a cocktail at the pool park kind of person? Okay, that's exactly what I'm talking about. This documentary, The Lost Tapes, this guy wanted to have every inch of this filmed, so he brought along people to carry camera
Starting point is 00:26:54 equipment through the Amazon jungle, 5,000 miles, including his neighbor's son, who apparently was a little bit of a fuck up and needed to kind of get like, you know, he needed a knot jerked out of his tail. So he convinces, so the guy leading this expedition convinces the parents that this kid needs to go on this. He's, as I say, kid. It'll be life changing. Yeah, it'll be life changing. He's like 21 years old or something.
Starting point is 00:27:21 So this kid is ill equipped to walk a mile to the grocery store, let alone 5,000 miles through the Amazon. And he's got a train for that. Oh my God. And the guy leading the expedition, this ex IDF guy, hold on one second, Amazon 5000. I want to make sure I say his name correctly. Amazon 5000 Expedition. Mickey Grossman. Mickey Grossman is the guy who put on this, okay? So Mickey Grossman decides he's going to go through an application, you have to go through an application process, he's going to pick a number of people that are going to meet him for certain sections of the race. I am not going to spoil this, but this becomes the most fascinating document, one of the most fascinating documentaries I have ever seen in my entire life. Six episodes long.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Six episodes long, I promise you, you will not be disappointed in this. It is engrossing, it is fascinating. Mickey Grossman is a complete douche noozle. He does nothing but berate everybody on this trip. God. Yelling, scream, steal cheap. It's already hard enough. Oh my God. And then the twist at the end of this documentary is like, what in the good fuck just happened? Where can we watch this?
Starting point is 00:28:38 You can watch this on Netflix, I think. I knew you weren't going to do it. Then why'd you ask me? Because I was hoping. Just Google it. It's on Amazon. Expedition from Hell, The Lost Tapes, season one. Season one, will there be a season two?
Starting point is 00:28:54 So there's over 700 hours of footage that Mickey hands over to the documentary filmmakers with no editorial rights. Mickey Grossman, they just buy it from him, right? And so what they discover in this trove of 700 hours becomes fuel for a super interesting show. You have to watch it. This is much better than your recommendations
Starting point is 00:29:19 of wife swapping and 90 Day Fiance say the other way back and forth two times. All right. Number two, you ready for this? Yes. I know this is going to come as a surprise, but I'm just going to share this with you. Miley Cyrus, David Letterman. Okay. I saw that she was on there.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Miley Cyrus, David Letterman. It looked good. Do you like Miley Cyrus? Yeah. Okay. Okay, I saw that she was on there. Miley Cyrus, David Letterman. It looked good. Do you like Miley Cyrus? Yeah. Okay. So do I. For whatever reason, I like her. I really, I think, I think she kind of pulled, she pulled me in when she did that New Year's Eve special. She's got an amazing voice, first off. Her godmother is Dolly Parton, and she keeps going. She takes a lickin' and keeps on kickin', you know, any kind of bumps in the road, she comes out of it great. Jared Sussman She really does. So, I take a dickin' and
Starting point is 00:30:11 keep on nicking. Lauren Henry That's what I was thinking. Jared Sussman Sorry, it wasn't so quick on that one. I, Astrid was watching this one night, I was in the studio editing, I go to the bedroom and I catch it, and I gotta tell you, it's good television. It's good television. Miley is rather open with Dave and Dave is rather probing with his questions as he can be. He's like sneaky probing, right? You think he's being your friend, but he's trying to get information that the rest of the world doesn't know. He does it with a laugh. He does it with a laugh,
Starting point is 00:30:37 and a giggle, and a smile. He's just so good at what he does. And I think he's even better now that he's got like, you know, he does it for an hour and he doesn't have to feel pressured or like rush people in and rush people out. He's the best that ever lived, my opinion. Anyway, Dave Letterman sitting down with Miley Cyrus, and then the fact that Miley sings, she tells Dave, I don't want to do it your way, I want to do it my way. That's the way I've always been, that's the way I'll always be. I have a big ego and I just want to do it my way." So they interspersed this with music that she sings at a hotel lobby in LA. Apparently she's been putting on a series of concerts in hotel lobbies in LA and it's like by invite only. And so she does some music interspersed with the interview and I thought it was really interesting, really fascinating.
Starting point is 00:31:22 Take a watch. I had my eye on that. So now I know to actually watch it. Yeah, but I'll share a little bit. And again, I'm not gonna spoil, but I'll share a little bit. Miley, for the last song that she does, she covers a Talking Heads, you know that for the, whatever it is, the 40th anniversary of Stop Making Sense. Yeah, stop making sense.
Starting point is 00:31:42 The Talking Heads or David Byrne asked artists to recreate Stop Making Sense doing their own version of a particular song. And then he's going to publish this album, it might be published already. So he asked Miley to do a cover and she does Psycho Killer. Oh, nice. I love that song. But she changes it completely. Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa baa some portion of it. I gotta be honest, not my favorite part of the documentary. I think you have to treat Stop Making Sense like a piece of orchestral music, like Beethoven's Ninth. You don't
Starting point is 00:32:30 put your own words into Beethoven's Ninth. It's one of the greatest pieces of music that's ever written. Stop Making Sense is one of the greatest albums that will ever be. And if you're a fan of music, whether or not you like talking heads, you'll understand its place in history is secure. And I think you got to treat it with a little bit more respect. She puts a bunch of her own words in there. She changes it. She talks during the song. And I was kind of turned off by that. I thought to myself, eh, you know, I appreciate you're out there taking risks and, you know, being creative, but don't do it with this song. Don't do it with not making sense. Just making sense. You would have done a wonderful job just doing your version, just doing a version, like a cover tune, right? But instead she goes on and speaks in French. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:33:12 I just like that. W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w I flew. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. But other than that, it's good. Bon bon voyage. Ya ya ya ya. She sings, oh, this is what she sings in it. She goes, I love you, psycho killer. I love you so much. Ya ya. And I'm like, did you not get the irony of the song in the first place?
Starting point is 00:33:38 Yeah. Did we have to put actual words? We couldn't read in between the lines? Yeah, to do it your way. I could appreciate, I could appreciate when an artist takes a good leap, but I just think this one didn't hit. The rest of the interview, the rest of the music, fantastic. Go for it. Lovely. Wonderful. She's got that gravelly voice that is like scientifically sexy. People are really attracted to that smoky voice.
Starting point is 00:34:01 I should have keep on smoking cigarettes. Why did I stop that? Why did I stop that? For many reasons, many good reasons. Well, children is probably the best reason why I stopped smoking cigarettes. I stopped actually long ago. You don't even have time to smoke cigarettes. Smoke cigarettes, what's that? What's that?
Starting point is 00:34:20 Cigarette, I love it, I don't. Once a year, once a year, I smoked that cigarette and I quickly remind myself of why I don't smoke cigarettes. Yeah, it just leaves, it's over-stimulating. I'm the same way. I once a year, I don't know, it's not a specific day or time, it just happens with a friend.
Starting point is 00:34:39 And then I'm like, well, eeh. We should smoke a cigarette here and see what happens. Astrid will smoke that. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. We'd have to do this undercover. See that air filter right there? We'd have to like blow into the air filter. Oh, like when you were young and like out the window?
Starting point is 00:34:53 Oh man, I used to put a couple dryer sheets and the rubber band around it, and I had that little thing, you know what I'm saying? And I'd blow the smoke out of it. I didn't do that. You didn't do that? How many people out there, text me, how many people out there made your own air filter by putting dryer sheets over
Starting point is 00:35:11 an old toilet paper tube or paper towel tube and then just blow the smoke out? It worked like a charm. We do it at hotel. I'd bring them to hotel rooms. Yes. Because I think I told this story once, we were, we were staying in Mexico for a while with my dad. He had us at the top of this Nestle hotel in Mexico City on the 118th floor. That's right. That's where you took a ride with the guy. Oh yeah, the old guy, the old Mexican guy who took us to the tequila factory. Yeah, the tequila factory.
Starting point is 00:35:42 We were 15. What was he thinking? And Kevin got sick on top of the raw pyramid, the sun Jared like, you didn't have smoking or non-smoking till about, I don't know, late 90s, something like that is when they started dividing everybody into smokers or non-smokers. But we were in that hotel room, my dad would be at a meeting or something, and we would be smoking cigarettes in the bathroom with that little air fan on. I cannot believe my dad never noticed that we were smoking, or he did and he just didn't give a shit. He was like, whatever. This is the same- Or he did and just thought it was coming from the next room because basically like everybody- Everybody smoked. Yeah. This is coming, this is the same trip where we get on an airplane to go from like Mexico City to Guadalajara in the middle of the night. It's like nine, 10 o'clock at night,
Starting point is 00:36:34 last whatever it was. I just remember it being dark and late. And we get on there and there's four people on the flight and three of them are us. My dad, my twin brother, and I. And they served us dinner on the flight. And when they served us dinner, on the side, there was a five pack of Winston cigarettes that they gave you on the tray with a pack of matches. Right. For your after dinner smoke. Yes. On a plane full of pure oxygen. Sure, why not? everybody light up after dinner. So because the plane was empty, the stewardess let us go wherever we wanted to. She was like, whatever you want to, wherever you want to sit. So Kevin and I were way in the back of the plane, eating dinner, smoking cigarettes as
Starting point is 00:37:16 an aperitif. Where's my dad? I don't know. He's somewhere. He was asleep. He's probably like, whatever, I just don't care. Now having children, I would probably be the same way. I's probably like, whatever, I just don't care. I know. And now having children, I would probably be the same way. I'd be like, whatever.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Yeah. You know, my kids, they have like, they're on like their fifth juicy juice of the day or whatever, and they start screaming for another juicy juice. And I know it's terrible for them, and I don't want them to drink all that sugar, but I go, whatever. Does it shut you up for three minutes?
Starting point is 00:37:41 Okay, put that straw in your mouth for three minutes and don't ask me another question and everything will be just fine. Oh, boy, yes. Oh, my God. So, Miley's got that smoky, I, she says she does not, she, in the, I'll just share a little bit about the conversation. She claims that she no longer does any drugs, no longer drinks, right? That on occasion, she has taken a couple puffs, a toke's off a joint, and that the only time that she has smoked in the last couple of years is with her mother.
Starting point is 00:38:14 Oh, that's right. And then her mother had like this bad anxiety, couldn't sleep, all this other stuff. And so Miley or somebody, I think Miley shares that she said, mom, you got to try dope, like try some pot, get on the, get up with the kids. Do the marijuana, as my mom would say. Do the marijuana. And so she started to smoke and now she's like, Miley goes, my mom has weed that if you take one hit of it, you may be out for a day. You may be gone for a day. And my mom smokes it all day long. She goes, last time I smoked pot, I took one hit off my mind. It wasn't even like a real hit. It was like a pretend hit just to satisfy my mom, right?
Starting point is 00:38:48 And I took a hit and I was on the couch for like three days. There's that weed out there. There is. Now. Like 30% THC. I know. It's crazy. Fuck, man. That's why I can't do it anymore. Like, I tried those gummies and I got the wrong corner. I got the wrong corner. It was up all night long, stressing and
Starting point is 00:39:05 straining. But Jamaican weed was good. Yeah. Yeah. Was it? You like the Jamaican weed? It was. It was like a perfect, mellow, it didn't put you into some kind of tailspin. Because I think they know, like they know how to grow it. They've been doing it for years. They've been doing it the best for years. Legally. Legally. Yeah. And they, like the Rastafarians, I don't think they like try and breathe. No. They're just like, this is the stuff. This is the good stuff. And here, that's what you need. Yeah. Why fuck with what Mother Nature gave you? And, you know, here in America, everyone's got to have bigger, faster, stronger. And so we just keep on like, hybrid-ing everything until it's 100% THC. I saw some,
Starting point is 00:39:48 I gotta tell you this. They gave me the steroids because my back hurt. And I fucking hate steroids. It drives me crazy. It makes me a madman. It honestly does. You're like, I've got roid rage. I do. I have roid rage.
Starting point is 00:39:58 I'm terribly depressed. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's like for some reason, steroids really affect me negatively, but they work. And so on occasion, if my back hurts just so bad and the doctor says, take some steroids, man, he even told me, he's like, dude, take some steroids. It's five days, you'll have 10 days worth of drama and then you'll be over it. Well, that 10 days worth of drama you have to suffer through. And so does everybody else around me.
Starting point is 00:40:21 I know. So, and the other thing about the steroids, they make me ravenously hungry for stuff I should not be eating. As if the cream and cereal wasn't enough. Astrid's like, hey, babe, you want to, you know, she's making whatever you want to, you know. God, those are good. So good. But I'm like, no, I want Taco Bell. Taco Bell, Brian, Taco Bell. Did you get Taco Bell? I walked up to fucking Taco Bell. I drove up to Taco Bell. Taco Bell? Brian, Taco Bell. Did you get Taco Bell? I walked up to fucking Taco Bell.
Starting point is 00:40:46 Oh my God. I drove up to Taco Bell. What did you get? I got five hard shell Supreme Tacos. Those are good. No tomatoes. But two things bothered me about this. One, it's fucking Taco Bell. I know. It's good.
Starting point is 00:41:01 But I at least once, twice a year have to do it late night. What do you get? I get the hard shell. Supreme tacos? Yeah, the supreme, yeah. Little sour cream, little cheese. The sour cream, yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:13 And then I love that fire sauce. Two things I noticed. Number one, tacos tasted the same, but the fire sauce is different. They're using a different ingredient in the fire sauce. Tell me if I'm fucking crazy, but the fire sauce did not taste anything like I remembered. It's been a long time since I've had Taco Bell. But okay, I'm up there, I'm eating by myself. There's no one in the restaurant whatsoever, right?
Starting point is 00:41:34 Victoria, you're eating a Taco Bell. I literally, watching by myself, I've got the news on my phone and I'm eating and I'm just like in full on roid rage mentality. I'm like, I'm going to fuck to kill this person. I'm going to get that person and call the lawyer on that guy and sue this guy. I'm like making a hit list. I'm like, I will, I will. You won't. So I'm there all by myself. It's like three o'clock in the afternoon. They're all by myself and in walks a guy and I have never in my life, and I've seen a lot of stone people,
Starting point is 00:42:10 I have never in my life seen someone so obviously obliterated out of his mind, when he walked in the door, you could smell it on him. I was sitting in the back of the restaurant, it didn't take but three minutes for the smell to get to me as he's standing at the counter. This guy was... Well, that's just Atlanta. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's true. Welcome to Atlanta, AKA Denver. I don't even remember Denver smelling this way. I know. I smell it like I'll be driving. On a highway?
Starting point is 00:42:39 I know. And all of a sudden I'm like, where did it... Am I... Have I lost my mind or can you smell it on the highway sometimes? Who is smoking so much pot that the cloud stays around at 88 miles per hour in my fucking car with the windows open? It's crazy. Atlanta is like one big cloud weed.
Starting point is 00:43:00 That's all it is. Oh yeah, if you get like a door to ash or something too, I can absolutely smell it from the person who gives the delivery. For sure! Go to the airport! I know! Go to the airport in Atlanta! I know you've been to the airport in Atlanta, go to the airport in Atlanta, it is nothing but weed. That's it, that's all it smells like. So this
Starting point is 00:43:17 guy, he's up at the counter, okay, and he's waving back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. He, someone comes to help him and he is having trouble pronouncing the word taco. He is like, oh yeah, I want a taco, uh, uh, ta, ta. And the guy's like, taco? And he's like, taco, uh, what's that stuff you put on it? And he's like, cheese, sour cream, creme creme, sour cream. Yes. I want sour cream. Yes. Yes. Uh, can I get, uh, oh man, I just, can I get a cup so I can put it over there? He's pointing to like the fountain machine. And I was like, oh my God, if I was an asshole, I would be videotaping this right now. Chrissy, never seen someone so stoned. So the guy comes, he sits in a booth and he's
Starting point is 00:44:15 facing me like five booths away, right? He is bleeding out of his eyeballs, literally bloodshot to the point where they are, and he smells so dank. He just smells dank, like he had dipped himself in... It's a good stony place to go. You know what he ordered? He had like 12 tacos. 12 softshell tacos. And that guy was munching, dude. Munching hard. Oh, yeah, you're the munchies.
Starting point is 00:44:42 He was staring at his food. He had no phone, no nothing. He was just like staring at the food. Food falling all over his face. I thought to myself, that's what happens when you get the weed that's super duper good. Oh yeah. You get super stoned out of your gourd. Now we know how Miley felt when she took it. But anyway, back to the point, Miley's got that super gravelly, sexy voice.
Starting point is 00:45:05 She does. Astrid's so in love with it. She's like, oh my God, I love her voice so much. Not her singing voice, her actual voice. Her voice, yeah, yeah. Well, because she's got that twang to it too. Yeah, she does. And said the accent.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Yeah. And her dad just got divorced from his 19-year-old wife. There's a whole drama going on with all that. Billy Ray Cyrus, yeah. Well, listen, you know, being a- He's got an achy, breaky heart. He's got an achy, breaky boner, probably. All right, let's take a break. We'll talk more about achy, breaky boners when we get back.
Starting point is 00:45:37 Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB. And you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call or leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram
Starting point is 00:46:00 at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are. I'm watching this guy on Instagram. I'm watching this guy on Instagram. Yes. King of Atlanta airport. I'm watching this guy on Instagram. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:46:33 I'll describe it to the audience here in a second. Look what he's doing. Okay. You see that? Guy is as ripped as he can get. This is the John Anderson on- Not John Anthony. No, not John Anthony, we're gonna get to him.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Look at that. Yeah, he's like a muscle head. He's a muscle head, he's huge. And he's apparently very popular on Instagram. He's got, he looks great. I mean, if that's your thing, he looks great. He's sharing all of his food tips. And one of the food tips that he shares
Starting point is 00:47:03 is cook a bunch of ground beef, put it in a bag, put it in a bag, freeze it, thaw it, cut a hole in the bag with your teeth, open it up with your teeth. Just rip into it. And then start eating, like start pushing the cooked ground beef out of it and just eating it like a popsicle. It's fucking disgusting, man. I don't know. I mean, I get it. You want some ground beef just to get it from a bowl. Protein. Yeah. Are you in that much of a hurry? You can't take out a bowl? You already went through the process of freezing it, thawing it, cooking it. Why don't you just pour it into a bowl and use the spoon? Now, listen, John, I'm not trying to start a fight, brother. You know what I'm saying? Because quite frankly, you'd snap me in half.
Starting point is 00:47:51 But I got to ask, what's the point? Just put it in a bowl. Eat it with a fork. Why are you doing that? This goes, this is all part of my new kick. You know what my new kick is? Kirsten Kuhn What? Chris What? Chris People who eat disgustingly. Kirsten Kuhn Oh, no. Chris I can't take it, Chrissy. Put it in the notebook. New treaty. It's like this guy at Taco Bell. I mean, the most disgusting kind of eating you can imagine, like, you know, food falling out of your mouth, tongue slapping
Starting point is 00:48:10 all over your thing. I just wonder where some of these people learned how to eat. Do you get disgusted by people who can't eat? Nicole Soule-Yes. Jared Saskar Is that disgusting to you? I think we had this conversation a while ago, but it seems to be very prevalent. The treaty is don't eat disgustingly? Don't eat disgustingly. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Please don't eat disgustingly because it's making me sick to my stomach. It really is. Why are you watching it? Well, I don't know because YouTube, Instagram keeps serving me up all this bullshit. One of my favorite new things is to watch me cook din... My husband just got off his shift at taco, you know, wherever, at the mill, watch me cook dinner for him. Have you seen these? You haven't seen these? I know you guys out there have seen these. Lady, middle-class person, right? Usually a woman is cooking.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Are there still mills around? I mean, I guess paper mills. Sure, there's a mill still around somewhere. Mill. I'm stuck on mills. Yeah, don't they mill like- Wood, paper. Paper.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Okay, anyways, her husband just got done working at the mill. Oatmeal? Don't they do that stuff? So this is how it goes. And have you heard the term tradwife? No. Okay. Tradwife refers to traditional wife.
Starting point is 00:49:31 Oh. Okay. The woman cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids. The husband does whatever else needs to be done, I suppose. Works at the mill. Yeah. And tradwives sometimes take it to the way extreme. We're talking like the 1950s videos that we used to review that you hated, where the woman takes her place, is not put in her
Starting point is 00:49:51 place, takes her place in the kitchen, basically, the kitchen and the laundry room. And that's how it's supposed to be, and that's the way they prefer it. Okay, whatever's clever, whatever you're into. Yeah, whatever that makes you happy. Sure. Okay, whatever. So, usually a trad wife of some sort is cooking for their husband who is coming home from a long day at work. And so, these videos, while some of them, there's like, seems that the person on the other end has some real cooking abilities, most of them are disgusting foods being cooked in disgusting ways
Starting point is 00:50:27 and then served in a disgusting manner so that someone can disgustingly eat that. Chrissy, some of these are satire accounts, so you gotta really suss through it. Sometimes people are like making fun of the tradwives, and so they're cooking stuff on purpose that's disgusting, and it seems like based on the comments about 50% of the people get it and 50% of the people don't. But then there are real ones. Watch me, watch me make lunch for my six kids or whatever it is. And some of these foods that they are cooking up are absolutely disgusting. One I saw, they took a frozen Salisbury steak. You know what I'm talking about? Okay. Imagine a Stouffer's at home meal. Right. Salisbury steak in a pan full of used grease, heat it up, throw the Salisbury steak
Starting point is 00:51:12 in there, cook it by frying it. It's already cooked. It needs to be microwaved, but they are frying it. Then they put cheese on top of it. Then they throw in some mashed potatoes that then they are frying. They are frying the mashed potatoes. They throw some ketchup on top of the mashed potatoes, they swirl it up, they slop it on a plate, they put a side of mustard and mayonnaise on this. It's just like, what? What are you doing? Now, this is coming from a guy who eats cream and cereal, okay? So, I'm not here to throw stones in a glass house, but I'm going to throw stones in a glass house. This is like a really weird trend on Instagram that keeps getting served up to me, mainly I think because I keep watching them ad nauseam.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Exactly. Because I can't stop wondering who exactly in the fuck is eating this? Who? Who? Who enjoys this? Not everybody's blessed with, you know, cooking abilities. Okay. So, do they work with what you've got? You got to, I guess you do have gotta work with what you've got. I guess you do have to work with what you got. And far be it, if someone is feeding their family,
Starting point is 00:52:10 I do the same thing. We feed our family, that's what we do. And you gotta feed your family. And by the way, I spend a shit ton of money on groceries. This is like our number one expense besides our mortgage. We do too, I'm like, there's two of us. How do you, what is your average weekly grocery bill? Just generally.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Do you know? Yeah, I mean, it seems like I spend a crazy amount every couple of weeks. What is that? $250 a week, do you think? Something like that. Okay. I cannot get out of the grocery store or Astrid.
Starting point is 00:52:43 Astrid, I cannot get out of the grocery store for less than a $100, and we must of the grocery store, or Astrid, Astrid, I cannot get out of the grocery store for less than a fucking hundred dollars and we must visit the grocery store every two or three days. We're spending thousands of dollars on groceries. And I realize that some of this has to do with the moment in time that we're in, you know, this accelerated inflation that's been going on for a very long time. But at the end of the day, a lot of it too, I think it's been proven of the makers of things. They're charging you more. For less. For less. That's it. There's also wonderful human beings on Instagram that are going into Walmart
Starting point is 00:53:17 and they're weighing things. They're saying, this says 6.7 ounce, you know, six pounds and seven ounces of meat. And then they put it on a scale and it's three pounds and nine ounces. And they're like, what's up Walmart, right? Or whoever it happens to be, whatever store it happens to be, which is insane to think about. You're getting half of what they say you're getting for that enormous cost. So I'm not arguing that it's hard to feed a family and that sometimes you got to put stuff in that maybe isn't gourmet food. I get it. You're not putting foie gras on your kid's lunch, but fried Salisbury steak that's already cooked with cheese and mustard? Come on. That's disgusting. Who wants that? Imagine being the kid at school. You know that kid throws that away. You know that, right? The kid throws it away. Oh, yeah. When you get to school, you definitely throw that away.
Starting point is 00:54:08 You know how my kids voice their opinion by what's left in the lunchbox when they get home from school. 50% of the time, they leave the stuff that you're supposed to eat and then they just eat the crap. I did that too, but it's like, no matter what you put in there, there's something that they're just- Leave the apple. Yes. No, leave the protein and then eat the fruit, the yogurt, the cookie. That's what they eat and they leave the protein and you're like, how are you going to survive with no protein? One of my kids right now, literally hasn't had a bite of real food in like 22 days. She is just on a kick where all she will eat, she refuses to eat anything unless it's fatty,
Starting point is 00:54:46 sugary, you know, chocolatey, some kind of substance, terrible for you. And I think to myself, how are we going to get this human to grow if she's not putting anything in her body but fatty acids? You've got to sneak it in. I know, they have all those tricks, you know, hey, here's a trick, make some blueberries into their potatoes, taste delicious, my love, purple potatoes, make them taste good. And you're like, you try that? And they go, I don't want blueberries in my potatoes. They're onto it.
Starting point is 00:55:14 You're like, you're not supposed to know. These kids are smart, man. They're super smart. They are. They are smart, dude. They can't get away with this. I remember watching, like, when one of my first kids was really young, and we were, you know, solid foods, they were kind of getting their own taste. He was getting his own tastes. He was like, okay, I like this, but I don't like, used to be that he ate everything. But now he's got tastes. You got tastes? You want things? You have demands? What am I, a waiter? Eat what I give you. That's it."
Starting point is 00:55:48 And so, we had a, you know, so we, Asher and I, being new parents, we were freaking out. We're like, oh my God, how do we get this kid to eat anything good? So then, of course, Instagram, the next day, serves you up all the content about how to make, you know, how to make foods the kids don't want to eat better. You know, mush the peas with strawberries, whatever they're saying, you know, oh, here's my thing. Take five strawberries and put a piece of steak inside and the kids love it. It's like a strawberry meat cake. And you're like, oh, girls do that. To find my kid pulling apart the strawberry, taking out the meat and eating the strawberry. And I'm like, what? How did you know that? It's like Blue.
Starting point is 00:56:25 Let me share it with you. Blue has been on Prozac for this entire life. She has? Three years. I mean, I didn't even know how, is it working? Are you fucking kidding me? No, it's not. Are you getting it from Mexico?
Starting point is 00:56:40 I don't know. I think so, actually. I think so. I put that pill in a pill pocket and that dog will swallow that pill pocket and a minute later I'll turn around and the pill will be on the floor. And I'm like, how the fuck did you do that? I'll stick it down the throat. I'll put my hand over her muzzle, like a muzzle, I'll rub her throat to see if she will swallow it. She'll do that whole thing. I'll open up her mouth, nothing in there. Five minutes later, I'll walk in the kitchen, pill on the floor. How did you do that? How did you do that, Blue? Blue is a magician.
Starting point is 00:57:17 She's gotten good out of everything these years. She's gotten real good. You know how in prison they give people medicine, then they make them open their mouths to make sure they're not spitting it out, and then, you know, 45 days later, they find one guy had 22 Vicodin hidden under his pillow or whatever. That's blue. And it really surprises me. How does a dog know how to do that? How does a dog know how to maneuver with its stuff? It doesn't have implosible thumbs like my child does. But every time, without fail, that pill gets spit out on the floor. It's an act of Congress to get that thing down that dog's throat. So now I've gotten smart. Now I've gotten smart. I take a piece of bread and sometimes I'll put peanut butter on it, but I take that bread and I smush it up like a pill pocket,
Starting point is 00:57:54 right? And this is what I do. I throw the bread down first, but directly after it, I throw a nice juicy, fatty, nasty treat from Publix down on the floor. So she goes for the bread first. Oh, and then. Yeah. And then doesn't have time to think about getting the pill out. Yeah, that's a good trick. It is a good trick. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:58:12 Works almost like a charm, except for last night when her and I were fighting for hours over the pill going down our throat. You should have seen me. I'm like a crazy man. I'm like that stone guy at Taco Bell. Eat the poo. I'm staring at her, she's staring at me. We're having a staring contest. Stand off.
Starting point is 00:58:33 I'm like, God damn it, Blue. Can't you do one thing? One thing for me. We have this, we have this like fabric gate that we put up in the kitchen. It's a fabric gate. It goes from the floor up to three and a half feet tall. You lock it, there's no way to move that thing. It's a piece of fabric, but it doesn't move.
Starting point is 00:58:51 It's a gate, right? And then it retracts. It rolls back into its little corner. I've been taking Blue out of the kitchen because she keeps on jumping on my daughter when she's eating, like stealing food out of her hand. So finally that's it. Last chance, you're out. You're out of
Starting point is 00:59:05 the kitchen. Guess what? Three minutes later, she's back in the kitchen. And I'm like, how did you get back in the kitchen? Is the gate still up? The gate was still up. And I'm like, how did you do that? I haven't figured it out yet. I know she didn't jump over it. The dog's one foot two. I know she's dying. So maybe under it. Maybe, maybe I'm going to catch her next time. I'll see what's going on. I'm gonna put a video recorder in there I need that mouse cam. That's right. The mouse cam needs to come back. That's right All right, check out and check out the lost tapes expedition from hell Amazon 5000 with Mickey Grossman You will love it guarantee check out Miley and Dave loved it. Chrissy says dark matter is good Yeah, fantastic and you will love it, guaranteed. Check out Miley and Dave, loved it. Chrissy says dark matter is good.
Starting point is 00:59:45 Yeah. Fantastic. If you're anything like Astrid, you can check out Bridgerton and then yeet like a little teenage girl with your friends. I'll tell that story. Yeah, no, that was a funny conversation earlier. I'm just not into period pieces. I'm not into period pieces.
Starting point is 01:00:04 What do you want me to do? I can't take it. All right. September. I'm also not a different piece. I'm not into period pieces. What do you want me to do? I can't take it All right, so I'm also watching the game of Thrones the new house the dragon. Yeah. Okay. There you go Not in the period pieces September 25th and 26 down in Florida Orlando then Tampa come join us Let us know if you're coming to one12-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Text comments, questions, concerns, content ideas. We'd love to hear from you. At The Commercial Break on Instagram. Please go ahead and follow us. We would really appreciate it. YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break and TCBpodcast.com for all the audio, video and your free sticker. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for right now.
Starting point is 01:00:49 I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say, goodbye. Good bye! Thanks for watching!

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