The Commercial Break - Get Off My Sex Blanket!
Episode Date: June 6, 2022The local Publix is a hot bed for over priced cereal, very bright lights and kids having sex in the parking lot! Bryan shares his fears around teaching his growing children about sex. Blue and Niko ar...e making another appearance on the show....to Bryan's chagrin! Finally, the gang reviews a 1970's PSA film about high school peer pressure around physical relationships. It's a strange piece of video candy made more strange by Beau Bridges who shows up to recap the film. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! **IMPACT by Interactive Brokers Information: Note: The podcast ad for the IMPACT app is unscripted and being recorded live. It may contain some slight differences. Please visit https://impact.interactivebrokers.com/ for full details of products and services. Interactive Brokers, LLC member FINRA/SIPC. The projections or other information generated by IMPACT app regarding the likelihood of various investment outcomes are hypothetical in nature, do not reflect actual investment results and are not guarantees of future results. Please note that results may vary with use of the tool over time. The paid ad host experiences and testimonials within the Podcast may not be representative of the experiences of other customers and are not to be considered guarantees of future performance or success. The opinions provided within the ad belong to the host alone.   ** IMPACT is a paid sponsor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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You know, it's hard work keeping in shape, but it's important to me to be the best that I can be and look the best that I can look.
That's why I would never ever take illegal drugs.
You know, I've seen some people who smoke marijuana and they seem to lose pride in their appearance. And let's face it. What goes in your body
eventually shows up on the outside. The bottom line is stay away from drugs.
On this episode of the Commercial Break, they're not there to hide themselves, park in the
public's parking lot, they want people to see them, I imagine, right?
But I didn't like, scog at them.
It was like a secret rendezvous.
It was two teenagers, for sure, right?
They just needed a place to get out and get a little loose.
They're not like, you know, adults with a house and all this other stuff
It's kind of like me and Astrid trying to, you know, you're our thing in front of the children. It's so weird
Come on
Nice occluded place. I'm flying kid. Telling me how nice I look. All these cameras this life
Come on, tell me you didn't want to make a poor jack
What are your friends doing here, Jack?
I told you, not gonna be fooled again.
Get off the blanket, will you?
Whoa!
What a jerk!
You're still going to the movies tonight?
I don't know.
Oh, are you still going to the movies tonight?
I don't know.
If you're good, I want a jerk.
Get off the blanket. Get off the blanket.
Get off the blanket. That's only for people who have sex with me.
That's my sex blanket.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Let's get out the kids of our McDonalds.
We're on the commercial. We're bravo!
Yeah!
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, co-host, cohort,
partner and crime, Kristen Joy Houdley.
Hello, how are you?
I am fantastic.
Best of you, Chrissy.
Best of you, Brian.
Best of you out there in the podcast universe.
Thanks for joining us on yet another episode
of this Valkomercial Break,
the only commercial break you'll ever need.
We're right here.
Guaranteed, we're right here.
Another episode, we're approaching 200, I think.
Wow, yeah.
Since we started doing it, three episodes a week,
they're taken by pretty quick.
Yeah, they are.
It's an immense amount of work to get all that shit done.
It really is.
It's like, I'm just non-stop, you know,
podcasting podcasting podcasting.
But you know what, I love it.
And so welcome, thank you everybody who has been leaving us
kind reviews on the review platforms, all your favorite podcasting platforms. If you haven. Thank you, everybody who has been leaving us kind reviews
on the review platforms, all your favorite podcasting
platforms.
If you haven't done so, take a minute, review the podcast.
We certainly would have perchied it.
I went to the store.
It'd be as funny as you want.
I love the fun of one.
I love the fun of one.
I love the fun of one.
I love the fun of one.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
And so welcome.
Thank you, everybody who has been leaving us kind of reviews on the
review platforms, all your favorite podcasting platforms. If you haven't done so, take a. And then five stars. It's like, and then someone also, I noticed that people do this a lot
because I was going through other people's reviews.
And I noticed that like people will hate on the podcast
and will give it five stars.
And I think they may be misunderstand how to do it
or they just accidentally do that.
But then a lot of people will leave good reviews
but they'll put one star.
Yeah, and so I don't know,
maybe people just don't know the review.
I don't know.
Click the five stars, all the five stars.
You want those colored in just just to let you know,
that's how it goes.
I went to the store the other night to my local store,
and I went, you know, I park in my parking spot
and do my special spot.
My special spot that I like to park
is no one's around me and I'd be bothered
with all the opening of the doors and closing of the doors.
And while I consider myself a pretty good driver,
I get a little bit of road rage, you know.
I'm that guy, you know, by calming down.
I'm calming down.
I'm learning, I've got to put a lid on it.
I understand everybody's in the same traffic.
We're all having the same problems.
We're all bothered by the same asshole cutting in front of us.
That's true.
So I'm learning to calm down, but I'm not a good parking person.
Like I don't do good parking.
I don't know why, but Astrid's always making fun of me.
And when you go to Europe, the parking spots are tiny because SUVs are not a thing.
Yes, tiny.
Last time two or three times ago we went to Spain
and we spent like a month there.
We ended up renting like the biggest car you could rent,
which is like a station wagon, right?
It's not really that big.
Yeah.
But it's bigger than all the other tiny little cars
and their space is so limited in Europe
that every parking space is just tiny.
It's like three feet wide, swear to God.
And people park right up on each other. They like literally jump
through the moon.
That's us.
Yeah.
And so people jump through the sun roof to get out of the car. I've seen it. I've seen
it happen on more than one occasion.
Wow.
So when I went to Europe and I had this thing, we, I had to park down the street because
the hotel had no parking because that's not a common thing. They most hotels don't have
parking. So I had to go park in a public parking spot in the place and I had to go all the way to the bottom of the
public parking place so I could park with enough space that I felt comfortable
I could actually achieve the maneuver. I just not a great parking person. I can
parallel park the best of them in three motions. I can parallel park but that's
being a park straight forward in between two lines. I can't fucking.
It can be turkey. Anyway I go to the store, I park in my park in place,
it's over in the corner, it's on the side of the building,
and now they're renovating the store.
So they have outside, they have the big train boxes.
You know what I'm talking about?
The big carriage boxes that have container boxes.
Yeah, they have a couple of them stacked on top
of each other in different parts of this part
of the parking lot because they're renovating the store
and that's where they keep all the stuff.
So I park in between a couple of these containers and then I walk around another container to
go over to the store.
And what I notice is there's a couple parking spaces over by that, by the other container,
hidden kind of out of view.
Okay.
There's a car parked there and I can see that there's two heads in the car.
The car's on, two heads in the car. The car's on two heads in the car, and the lights are on in the car.
And I was like, oh, I just made note of it.
Whatever.
There's someone in the parking lot.
Big deal.
People go in parking lot totally.
Happens all the time.
People are in parking lot totally.
They sit in their cars, and they do weird shit.
They read, they whack off.
I don't even know what the fuck they're doing.
So I go in the store and get my shit.
I come back out. I turn the corner again
to go around the container so I can then I notice
that in the car, the same two heads are bobbing and weaving.
They're just like...
They're animated.
They're animated.
They're not animated.
They're fucking funny.
They are going at it.
The guy is like, you know, this and you know,
there's one leg up here and one leg over here.
They were trying to write out.
They are only having sex.
Yeah.
Between the containers.
Yeah, and so I have to walk by the car to get to my car.
And I'm not a peeping Tom.
I don't want to be all that interested.
But, you know, when you see two people having sex in a car,
they're not there to hide themselves,
parked in the public's parking lot.
They want people to see them.
I imagine, right?
But I didn't like, stalk it.
It was like a secret rendezvous. It was two teenagers, for sure, right? They just needed a place to see them. I imagine, right? But I didn't like, stalk it. It's like a secret rendezvous.
It was two teenagers, for sure, right?
They just needed a place to get it out.
They just let it loose.
They're not like, you know, adults with a house
and all this other stuff.
It's kind of like me and Astrid trying to, you know,
do our thing in front of the children.
It's so weird.
I hate it.
Sometimes you need to go to the parking lot.
Yes, I wish we should go to the parking lot.
You should.
I think we'd have less eyes on this if we went to the public parking lot
because between Nico the ghost dog who just stares at me 24 hours a day with these eyes like please kill me
Take my body away. Yeah, blue the dog who follows me around and barks at me the old man
Yeah, and
Matias and Mia who will a train will come through the room and they won't wake up.
Me and Astro will start making out and crawl up on the bed
and they're like, Mommy, baby.
And then just not into it.
I don't want you.
I think gross.
Okay, we'll do this later.
Right.
So I walk by and I notice that obviously the young man,
he's a young man.
I mean, he's young, right?
I can't really see the girl.
It's down under.
But I was like, Oh, okay,
you know, be interesting. Good for it. And it reminded me of being a kid and being a team
age and all the things you had to go through just to get a little nookie, you know, just to get laid.
Yeah, if you were if you were one of those people who was having sex at that age, and I was,
yeah, one of those people who was having sex at that age. You really tried to, trying to, yeah.
people who have sex. You really try to.
Yes.
Trying to.
Yeah.
I don't have.
Good.
There was definitely penetration involved.
Whether or not anybody would call it a sensual or sexual encounter is a different story
together.
I was awful.
I was, you know, but every guy is, I'm sure, when they just start doing it.
We just don't know exactly where it were things.
Was your first sexual experience was that at all interesting?
No.
No. It was probably painful, weird, messy, and just uncomfortable. Yeah, nervous, sweaty, and I
don't know. Is everything working down there? Am I doing it right? Where am I
supposed to put this? It's not a net. It doesn't, it comes naturally. Obviously,
God or universe or whatever you want to call it has made our bodies to fit
together. Yeah, but actually making them fit together
makes a little bit of finesse, right?
Which even at my old fucking age,
I still can't do some stuff.
I'm still learning.
I'm not the tantra expert a lot of women make me have to be.
Hey girl, this is me, you're the car.
I've done a come over and practice some tantra.
Can't preach on a full dick, girl.
By the way.
Man, maybe you should get tips from Carl.
Yeah, Carl.
So it just reminded me of being a young guy,
just trying to get some, you know, just so hot and heavy.
And like the literal physical pain you would go through
when you would see someone you were,
or you had that teenage girlfriend or boyfriend
or whatever you were into.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, you just have a massive heart on just thinking
about them or walking around them or smelling their scent.
Or when it was raging.
And that pain you felt when you couldn't,
unleashed the dragon.
And I went through some extremes to also,
I would park in the woods, I would.
There was that one time where we went camping.
Camping sex.
Camping sex.
In a car, it was 36 degrees outside.
And we didn't have gas to run the heater.
So all of us were just cold.
Oh, we watched my friend have sex with his girlfriend.
Well, we sat in the back of the car, smoking camel white.
Uh, I mean, I had sex on basement floors.
I just did, it was just a whole mess.
I tried to sneak around.
And there's a real palpable energy when the two adolescents get together.
Oh, yeah, I'm really sorry.
How do you handle that?
How do you navigate those waters?
Is what I'm starting to think about?
Not because I intend to have adolescents sex anymore, but because I have two children
that I'm sure are eventually going to ask that question.
Yes.
So, I went trolling on the internet as I do.
I figured I'd go to the internet archive, the place where all things wonderful have been
saved for posterity, it's totally, there's so much porn on there, it's all just like cheap.
There's a whole collection called the VHS tape collection.
Oh, right.
There's millions of videos in there and I love digging through called the VHS tape collection. Oh right millions of videos in there
And I love digging through it because VHS is just like that's my time right the 80s 90s and 2000s
And there's just a bunch of stuff
But it's not all home movies. It's a lot of movies that were on or things that were on VHS tape
I found one and I wish I could play it here
But it's just even too graphic for the commercial break. Okay. It's called sensual love
Making and it's a tantra home like a home for the commercial break. It's called sensual love making,
and it's a tantra home, like a home movie tantra course.
And it is like play by play.
It's basically orgasm nurse.com.
Right, I was gonna say it reminds me of that.
Yeah, it's play by play sex with visuals.
And two of the homeliest looking human beings,
you have seen it.
But it is just like, the things that they do.
Oh, it's instructive, it's instructive for sure.
You learn a few things if you watch it.
Okay. No doubt.
I learned a few things.
I watched it twice.
But there's just a lot of like soft core porn on there.
I can't imagine.
You know, like Penthouse and Playboy, you know,
old, you know, home made movies and just all this stuff in there But what I'm more what I get more interested in is like the public service announced me shit the little movies
They put together to teach kids how to do this or how to do that or don't or don't do that
Don't try and what I found was a movie
Are we still going to go to the movies what the movie is called are we still going to the movies is what the movie is called
It's about too long for long lovers that look like they're about 27 years. They actors are about 27 years old playing these shows
And don't worry. There's no graphics on it. It's 21 jumpstart. Yeah, Johnny. Yeah, 21 jumpstart 21 dumpster
That guy is like 21 dumpster fire that guy is not that guys. Yeah, it's my new hero. We'll talk about Johnny
You there's an episode where we're talking about Johnny
But what I thought I do is I'd like to review some of this yeah footage here so that we can learn a few things
We can teach the audience about adolescent sensuality and you know, maybe have a little fun along the way
What do you think I think it's a good idea? Let's turn on the old tcb full reaction shot. Here we go. Oh there we are
That's Nico and blue. Agreed. It's a very nice episode where they're not. I don't think so.
I think it's like the Easter egg, you know, where can you find what minute will
Blue and Nico decide to pop their top for absolutely no reason.
My painter said she would take blue. That's right. He was like, you know, I'll take blue.
You know, let me take blue.
And I was like, yes, let's see.
Yes.
And I was like, I'm afraid the painter's going to eat him.
I'm afraid she's going to cook him into a stew.
She's a little weirded out by the painter.
She's like, I'm afraid he's just like, dog's not going to survive.
But I think everything will be fine.
But I guess I'm not going to get it.
I guess I'm not going to get my wish. OK., best to all of you who have been leaving wonderful podcast reviews
on your favorite podcast player, especially all those who are using Apple.
We really appreciate it.
We've been delused by wonderful comments and reviews that we couldn't be more grateful
if you're one of those.
If you're not, could you take just a few minutes and leave us a podcast review, comment or rating on your favorite podcast player. Almost all of them
have some version of rating or review. It helps us grow the show. It'll make you feel better
and it'll tickle all of our pickles. Thanks so much. Hey, 661-237-8296 is where you can leave us a
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Add a lesson.
Are we going to the movies?
Are we still going to the movies?
Mm-hmm.
Are we still?
This is fantastic.
It's nice over there, I think. to the movies are we still going to the movies are we still this is fantastic it's
nicer over there I think what you got is you got two what appear to be adults but they're
supposed to be teenagers you got them walking down through the woods and it looks like
they're looking for a place to have like a picnic. Yeah. I've got a bag and a blanket.
A bag of blanket.
A couple of dildos and a sex swing.
I'm sure in there.
I'm sure in a hips on a full of trees.
Got it?
Yeah.
I got a kid.
Take it easy, take it easy.
I don't want you to fall adurch yourself.
Take it easy.
We're about to have sex.
I don't want to break you.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay want to break you.
Okay.
Yeah.
What do you think?
Oh, I'm thinking.
What do you think?
It's a check, grab it 3000.
She's like, I think it's a field.
Yeah, looks like grass.
Look at these two.
Do they look anything like teenagers? No, No they're clearly in their 20s. Yes
I mean that guy's got more ringed than I would. It's kind of a dark wood. Well, I mean that's what you did back then
Sparkin a lot I guess so
By the way this movie was made in, but that shirt does look like an amber
convoy in Fitch shirt. That guy's where I have that shirt.
I think.
How's this?
This is fine.
This is a fine place to lose my virginity.
You want some help?
I think I got it.
Okay.
You want me to fluff you a little bit?
No, I've been practicing for 14 years.
Twenty-five.
Twenty-seven years.
Yeah.
All right, they've laid down a blanket.
Fine.
They've laid down a blanket.
They've got the picnic basket.
Oh, no.
She's breaking out the thermos, probably full of Jack Daniels and nitrates
Oh, they got the radio. He's got his
Got every music. He's got his version of the Walkman which back then was a foot long by foot line
Electronic box with 15 AA batteries.
Hold up the antenna.
That's right.
Fire.
I don't think we're supposed to.
You're supposed to do what?
Oh.
It looks really nice.
You look really nice.
You might have if I bite your face off.
It's like the awkwardness of TV. They haven't even gotten that they hadn't got anything out of the basket yet
We're gonna call them Johnny and Jill Johnny couldn't wait five fucking seconds for her to unpack the basket
He was already going in for the action. Yeah, I pull the gear away. I was like not having it. She's I god damn it Johnny
I told you you're not getting any
They'll make out
Starved aren't you? For your love. Yeah I'm starved too. I've
been waiting for two years Betty. When am I gonna get some? I told you I don't like boys. the chicks. Hey, come here for a second.
I'll be real gentle, I promise.
I've been watching.
Send you a love making by Tantra United.
Hey, come here.
Don't you want me? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I don't really was Jack. I got it right. You got him Johnny.
I got him Johnny.
You got the day.
Jack don't.
Don't give me this shit right now.
You know you're in trouble with me.
You forgot to bring the peanut butter sandwiches.
Yes, she's hungry.
I told you Jill.
She's not hungry for Jack's cock.
No.
Nothing.
You don't love me anymore, huh?
Don't be funny.
Well, come on.
Jack, don't I mean it?
Hey, what's eating you?
What's eating me is your constant means to put your penis inside me.
Can we just go 10 minutes without having sex? Jack?
Jack.
Nothing.
I'd like to have a picnic, that's all.
It's not like you have a picnic without you.
Fine.
Fine.
You will love me.
I will break out my erection.
I'd like to have a picnic without you coming all over everything.
Is that OK?
Oh, Jack.
Oh, Jack. He's such a look at him. He's just, he looks. He's going to push it. Yeah, he. Hey. Hey Jack. Oh Jack.
He's such a look at him.
He's just, he looks, he's gonna push it.
Yeah, he's gonna push it.
He's gonna push it.
But don't worry.
We're doing.
You know what I mean.
No, I don't.
What did, I thought this was props.
I thought that basket was empty.
Oh, that basket was empty.
They told me to come down here,
bone you and they got $50.
Don't you know me?
I'm Jack B. Nimble.
Jack B. Quick.
I'm Jack with a huge fucking dick.
I'm a porn star.
Would be nice to have a picnic without you moving on me like that.
Didn't move on you?
Move on you.
I didn't even put my body on top of you.
I just thought of, can I say my picnic?
I'm just getting body on top of you.
I just thought of it nice for five minutes
to not have your dick crawling up my leg.
Jack's got other plans.
Jack is not at the age where he's scared of pussy.
No.
I would have been like run it.
I would have been into the hill.
Not a problem.
Let's see.
Yep.
One second.
Come on.
Nice, occluded place.
I'm blanking.
Telling me how nice I look.
All these cameras, this light set.
Come on.
Tell me you didn't want to make four jacks.
What are your friends doing here, Jack? I told you. Not going to be fooled again.
I've seen the same movies you have.
Yeah, and usually they get killed around this point. Yeah, and usually the wolf fan come down and a paper mache mask.
Oh!
I've seen this.
What does she mean?
I've seen the same movies you've seen.
What does that mean?
That's kind of creepy.
I've seen the same stag films.
You've seen Jack.
Oh, he's all pouty now.
Let me see.
There's two in the fish. Oh, he's all pouty now. Let me see. How old are you?
There's tuna fish.
And there's like tuna fish.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have.
The ones you're gonna have. The ones you're gonna have. The ones you're gonna have. The ones you're gonna have. The ones you're gonna have. Yeah, I've got a lot of tuna in my life. And I've never had old tuna. I never put my tuna fish sandwich back in the fridge.
No.
No, you wanted to be absolutely fresh.
Fresh, yeah, very fresh.
That's why I refused to eat a tuna fish sandwich anywhere else except for my own home.
Egg salad sandwich, maybe at the masters or somewhere where I know they're being made fresh.
But not at the...
Not the tuna.
No, not at subway.
No.
Wait, subway is sponsored?
That's not even real tuna. They came to find out. No, yeah, that's not real tuna or real turkey or real chicken.
Careful with you eat it. Subway. Yeah.
Can you want Jack?
I wanted your fish.
I wanted you. Come on, Betty just wants.
This is why, this is the problem, I think,
part of the problem with men growing up,
like in this particular time, like, you know,
whatever the problem is, is that why is he
have to be so powdery about this?
All she said was, I just want to have a picnic.
I don't want you to put your dick all over me, right?
Yeah.
If that was me, if that was me if that was me I would have said okay, no prop like you know, okay, no problem
I probably wouldn't even even made that kind of move like it's too aggressive for my taste of such a child
I'm like should I should now. I don't do it right. Don't do it. She's gonna reject you. She doesn't want you. She wants your tuna fish
Jack She's gonna reject you. She doesn't want you. She wants your tuna fish. Okay.
Come on, Jack.
What if I didn't run you? So what?
It's just that it didn't.
I don't know. I thought we were gonna have a picnic.
It's so beautiful.
I thought it was so beautiful. And I don't want to ruin it with your balls and my-
I hate it.
Your hair, yeah.
I want to ruin it with your hairy back.
Come on, Jack.
Can't we just look at something nice for once?
See it and eat and talk.
And have fun, you know?
Sure.
You know, avoid having sex with you.
Right.
I just wanted to avoid having sex with you, Jack.
So did I.
Let's do it.
So did I. I just wanted to add in some sex.
Right.
That's why we weren't having sex.
Let's just do that first.
Yeah, I can't wait.
Let's tell you what, if we can do the sex first,
then the rest of the day we can avoid having sex.
I'll now.
I'll take a nap.
You can eat your tuna fish in,
enjoy nature. It'll take a nap. You can eat your tuna fish in a much
and joy nature.
It'll take six minutes.
I promise.
And we've already wasted four of them.
So let's just get to it.
OK.
OK.
OK.
I have a feeling Jack's going in again.
That's Sam.
Yes.
Socks. Yes.
Socks through it.
Jack takes the bite of the sandwich and throw it over the side.
What a child.
He is a surpouty pig.
He's like, let me take it by your sandwich.
Socks.
It's gross.
It's not what I wanted.
I didn't do all this planning and preparation to come down here and eat a tuna fish sandwich. I thought I was gonna get some today
No, it's just fine. I'm just really pissed off at you
For not having sex with me. No pressure Betty
I'm not very hungry. Where are the cups?
Left them in the van. I'll go get them. It's okay. No. Where are the coaks? Left them in the van.
I'll go get them.
It's OK.
No, no, no.
I'll go get them.
I'm going to find somebody to have sex with.
Right.
Look at the people out there.
No, no, no, no.
Don't worry about it.
He's looking around for something.
We don't need the coaks.
Let me take my pants down.
No one.
Listen, I'm sorry I made you mad. I'm really doing it too.
I'm not mad.
She is! I'm not mad. I'm just really pissed off.
Yeah.
He's mad. I'm not mad. I'm just really pissed off. Yeah. He's mad. I'm not mad.
I'm just really angry.
I'm not mad.
I'm just horny.
And there's nothing you're doing about.
Yeah.
This is why women, and this is just like creepy all around.
Why is she apologizing for just saying?
I know.
He's totally twisted from him to her.
Yeah. Here's where, here's where all these young men
can take a little note, right?
It's, okay, young men or young women or young women, because I've met a few women who are
on the prowl, right?
I've met a few, there was, we're watching one of the 90 day fiances, I think is what
we're watching, and like the woman was just coming onto this guy so strongly every moment,
and she was basically badgering him to have sex with her.
You know, you can't stay the night in my place unless you have sex with me.
I don't understand where you're not having sex with me.
Can we please just have sex like sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
She just kept on asking him and telling him and pressuring him to have sex.
And it was making me not, I'm not a huge, you know, I'm not like overly sensitive to that.
But it was making me kind of cringe a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
I have some self respect, first of all.
The guy said he didn't want to have sex.
It's okay.
You don't have to continue.
Yeah, the person says no, go, move on.
But it reminds, there has been a few situations where the tables have been turned, where I've
been put in situations where I feel pressured with someone that I really, that wasn't, I wasn't
really all that interested in, right?
Yeah.
And it feels a little pressurized.
Here's where everyone can take just a hint.
It's okay to say no.
Like, it's not that big of a deal.
It's a big deal when you make it a big deal, right?
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Jack here is throwing up.
Somebody says no move on.
Yeah, my son has handled, uh,
no, to candy better than Jack's handling.
I know.
He's a, yeah.
Meanwhile, he's looks like a 32 year old man.
He has more wrinkles than I do.
I'm just gonna soul go over here.
I'm gonna go over here.
Look at this plant.
Look at this plant.
But this plant wants to have sex with me.
I just plant that I say no.
I bet I could have sex with this plant right now
and I wouldn't say a word. I bet if I came all over this plant right now and I wouldn't say a word.
I bet if I came all over this plant it wouldn't be care.
Jack, are you going to have sex with the plants?
Go ahead.
Now she's starting to feel this is where things turn really pretty. Yeah, she's feeling bad. He's ignoring her now.
Jack, why are you staring at the plant?
Come back.
Should have brought some beer.
I should have gotten you drunk.
Alright, so weird. I should have brought you drunk. Right. It's so weird.
I should have brought some cheap weed.
Giving you a headache and then you would have said,
I'll have sex with you so to get rid of my headache.
Any good without fear?
Why didn't you?
Because I didn't.
Because I'm not old enough to buy it.
You bitch if I did.
You bitch if I did.? Yeah. Jack come on. Come on. You
know you're just like my little brother and he doesn. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm not coming in this I bring beer. He's like, I shouldn't have brought some beer. Yeah.
And then she said, why didn't you and he's like,
you would have bitched at me.
No, because you would have ditched.
You would have ditched.
You would have left.
I felt like you would have left.
Jack feels the same.
Jack's the thing highly of his girlfriend.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not going to be a little bit highly of his girlfriend.
This picnic is sure turned out great, hasn't it?
This picnic sucks, doesn't it?
After you rejected my sexual advances, everything sucks, doesn't it?
Where is the movie part of this? Are we still going to the movies?
Is that what they're doing? I have no idea why they call it. Are we still going to the movies? I think at the
end of this they say we're still going to the movies. Sometimes I just fast forward like I just kind of
hit the points because I also want to see this for the first time too. Like when you when you're
watching it out there I for the first time I'm usually watching most of it for the first time
Okay, that's a good plan. Yeah, I know
I'm sorry
So am I
Jesus
I'm sorry, so am I I'm really sorry. I have to kill you and leave you with the woods now.
Yeah, perfect place to do it.
We haven't had much fun lately.
I don't know.
God.
I know. It's all your fault.
It is.
We haven't had much fun lately. AKA sex, have we?
Yeah. I don't know what's wrong with you
Me
Yeah with you you're the one who's changed
I mean for six months things are really going good
I could bone you any time I want you now all the sudden you're holding out you wanted a pig mix
Well jail well Jack I'm into women, like I said before.
You know, we were getting on and everything.
Well, I haven't taken out another girl in months.
But now, I haven't had sex with your sister in two weeks.
I haven't taken on another girl.
I mean, thanks a lot.
He just said six months.
And then he says a few months.
Yeah, I would take another girl out.
This is so funny, but the way he said it, I haven't taken on another girl.
I think it's a responsibility.
Like, I'm taking on a project.
Oh my god.
You make me feel uncomfortable even when I touch you.
Or anything like it was wrong.
I didn't mean it was wrong.
I just think you're really ugly and kind of creepy.
And all the girls at school agree you're a little rapy.
Yeah.
Not even just a big fan.
Yeah.
Just have a big fan.
I just said we don't always have to end up making out.
That's all.
You never used to complain.
Maybe I don't remember too well that I thought we were in love.
I do love you.
But...
Well sometimes you treat me like...
like sex was the whole point of everything.
Well it is!
That's why we're together.
Wait it's not! I thought that's my word
together. I haven't taken out another woman in days. What's wrong with the world right
here? Yeah. Starts with this conversation. Oh poor Betty or whatever I know. She's
just like, I don't know if you remember too good, but I thought we were in love. I
finished the only time I want to. Right but I thought we were other things. Come on.
Let's take this pic, come on, Betty.
Take this pic, Nick, for example.
We've walked down the hill.
We almost ate a sandwich, Betty.
Look, I looked at a tree.
You were staring at something else saying it was beautiful.
Don't tell me we don't do other things.
Are we done with those other things?
Can we now have sex? Right. Now't tell me we don't do other things. Are we done with those other things? Can we now have sex? Now look we're talking. Who thought we'd be talking?
Let's get it on.
I don't believe you Dana. Dana.
I mean, half the guys I know are really making it with the girls that are with.
I mean, you're really making it with the girls that are with. I mean, you're really making it in.
Ha ha ha.
Hey, Tim, it's Jack.
How's the things going with you and Tina?
Oh, her name is Dana.
Her name's Dana Rack.
How things going with you and Tina?
Because me and Betty were really making it,
and I mean, we're really making it.
And I mean, we can't even,
basically, I got a basically,
she's got me stuck in her the whole day.
What's going on with you and Dana?
Oh man, it's a real plumber.
I took her down to these creepy woods
and I told her to make a bunch of sandwiches and I tried to bona and she said,
I just want to stare and stuff and make a beautiful, I don't know what's going on, I haven't taken out another girl in days!
You got to get it together Jack, all of us other guys are really getting it up on you!
We're making it hard.
Making it really really making it.
We just.
Oh.
Do you compare notes?
Yeah.
Yes we do.
It's called the locker room and I'm falling short.
I'm on a scoreboard and I'm down like ten points in the last two months
Not what I mean And what do you mean?
I mean you can't say that we're only into sex when we don't really make it
What must be really rough on you not having anything to report when you talk to the guys?
No, you're not come on, it is. Of course it is.
It's all a competition.
I'm not even interested in you.
I'm also interested in guys.
But I can only talk to them if I'm really making it
with a girl.
I haven't had sex with another guy in weeks.
Rate it.
Changing subject.
Change the subject.
How did you change it?
Anywhere suppose you don't talk things over with your friends?
No. At least not the way you talk about it with the guys.
Like it was all some kind of a game.
And the idea is to rack up as many points as you can.
It's not like that. I'm not racking up any points right now.
I've gone way down. I avoid the conversation because I don't have any points this week. Come on, help a brother out. This is so weird.
It's so weird. Right now I'm beginning to think that Eddie was right. Eddie. About what?
He did? Eddie told me I should have had sex with your older sister. Yeah. Eddie's always right. The guy named Eddie.
The guy named Eddie.
Yeah.
Oh.
Right up the tight.
You want to know what Sandy Cormin said about you?
That you have a one track mind.
Oh, no she didn't.
At least she didn't talk about my small dick.
No, Sandy Cormin.
That hurts really bad.
You have a one-track mind.
That's right.
Okay, let's go.
Where?
Home.
Her waving.
But I brought all these tuna fish sandwiches all the way down the hill.
I don't care they suck anyway.
If you're not gonna give me points
for my scoreboard, I'm outta here.
Really sore, aren't you?
Well, what do you think?
I think I'm sorry.
Yeah, sure.
Let's go.
Jack.
Jackson, asshole. He's really, yeah.
He's acting proves I'm right.
You're sore because you couldn't just turn me on like some kind of machine.
Sure, Dana.
Sure, Dana.
Whatever. Go home and use your Jack Rapper, extend Jack Rapper with Extender 3000.
That's a machine, too.
I wish I could turn you on like care machine.
Oh my God, this is, have you ever had a conversation
like this in your life?
No.
No.
I didn't go like that.
No.
Look, I'll tell you what, you have sex with me now
and I'll accept your apology.
Right. Show me how sorry. You have sex with me now and I'll accept your apology.
Show me how sorry.
You'll be taking some pictures so I can show the guys back in the locker room and we'll call it a day.
I'll forget all about this and I'll eat your tan of a fast sandwich.
We'll make up some rules and some regulations. And whenever we meet, we'll talk about heavy things like religion and philosophy.
And then, when you feel more like a person, maybe we can hold hands a while, okay?
Wow!
That's our smart cat rules and regulations.
We'll go to church two hours a week,
and then when we get done with church,
we'll run over some philosophy.
Maybe start reading war in peace
and we'll review it back and forth together,
like a book club, and then, and only then,
I can stick my dick in your mouth,
is that okay?
Cause I'm up down for that.
That's good, right?
I'll do it every day.
Yeah, I'm cool with that.
So I'm gonna get points back on that scoreboard.
I'll get off the blanket. Whoa, what a jerk. We're still going to the movies tonight. I don't know.
Oh, are we still going to the movies tonight? I don't know. If you're good, I want a jerk.
Get off the blanket. Yeah. Get off the blanket. That's only for people who have sex with me. That's my sex blanket. Get off my sex blanket, Dana. You can't be
out of it anymore.
Well, are we gonna do anything anymore? I don't know. Will you get off the blanket,
please? I told you that's my sex blanket. Now, I'm not making decisions until you get off of it
or have sex on it.
Either or.
This four feet by two feet is only for people
having sex, Dana.
It's our new rules and regulations, Dana.
Poor Dana.
Poor Dana. Rips up the blanket. Hordeina. Hordeina.
Rips up the blanket.
I hope Jack gets murdered.
I know.
Where's the serial killer that's coming now?
Oh, Jack falls off his hood.
Oh, he just leaves her.
Oh, nice Jack.
Geez.
Don't do this at home, kids.
Jack. I'm a jerk. Oh man, Portena. Well, that was it. That's all. Oh, that's Bo Bridges? Yeah. Is that really? Yes. Oh, Bo Bridges for CRM films.
Yes.
Consumers.
What is he saying?
Customer relationship management?
Is this the message?
A quarrel between a girl and a boy one afternoon in the park.
It comes the turning point in their relationship.
Soon there's murder.
I like them.
They're making him out like he's a psychiatrist.
Yeah, well, I think this is long before he did any movies.
Look how young he is.
I know.
He's like in his 20s there.
Maybe even the end of it.
There are any number of ways you might
think about such a confrontation.
We hope the film would start you thinking about what boys usually
expect from girls, and what girls usually expect from boys,
and how and why those expectations can be so different.
What do Dana and Jack expect from each other that they are not getting?
We didn't bow bridges because the boys are freezing.
Is it a Hollywood star?
Bow bridges are at a moment like Jack just had.
Are the cliches generally true?
Do most boys expectations come from seeing at all as kind of a game with making out the
whole point of the relationship?
And if so, how many points do you get for under the shirt?
There's a girl usually expects something else, a more lasting commitment.
Do girls encourage expectations and boys that they don't intend
to fulfill? A Dana believes that boys compare notes on their con quests. The implication
is that they encourage each other.
And bow knows it. That's why he's got it. Bow knows.
I did not know this. I had no idea.
He showed up at the end to ask 30 questions.
The regard girls of the movie he apparently wrote.
I don't know.
What a piece of film this is.
Objects to be pursued as things rather than persons.
Is that really how boys talk with one another?
Is this camera going to continue to zoom in until it hits my head?
It's my head.
It's my head all over. not. I hate all those.
For those of you that are listening, the camera started off and it was like you could see
the whole office, he's sitting in an office in like a psychiatrist's chair like one of those
high back chairs and there's a desk and a plant and all this other stuff.
And then all of a sudden it just starts zooming in but rather quickly it starts zooming.
I never stop.
It doesn't stop.
It's poor Bo.
What is the difference between the way boys talk about girls and girls talk about boys?
Do girls also use boys as objects?
Remember Jack's outrage at the very suggestion he might be doing anything wrong or insensitive?
I mean, it suggests that he regards it.
And he makes the relationship.
Yeah, Bo.
I wish Bo would do like a play by play during the film. he just walk into the scene and be like see the body language here
Jack's got an erection
He's ready to rock you with his cock out
Dana just wants a tuna fish sandwich
Different expectations. This is the kind of film that gets banned in Florida by the way. Just let it get up
Don't behave your towards Dana as perfectly normal and natural
Is it natural for boys to make out at every opportunity?
If the girl objects, does that mean she's uptight, maybe neurotic, not as feminine as she ought
to be?
A lot of people seem to assume that the difference between what boys and girls expect
from each other are natural and inevitable, rooted in biological differences. Do you agree with that?
This is funny. Yeah, why? Yeah.
This went from a rather awkward film into some kind of film new
art. Real quick like boat bridges. The world's most one of the world's
foremost experts on adolescent sex asking questions apparently?
You just ask for the questions. Yeah. Does Jack have a heart on?
Does Jack need a hard on? What do you think about Jack's hard on?
It's Dana cold insensitive and not really to have sex with Jack and her on
Or do we in fact learn how to behave? I mean, is there a lot of role playing in it?
Are boys and girls taught by movies, magazines, television, friends, and the adults they look
up to that they should behave in certain ways?
What does Dana expect to jackal wine?
It's not only a healthy question.
Not a foe.
There needs to be a declarative sentence.
This is six pages of questions.
I wonder if the teacher, like this is for a classroom,
or the teacher stops.
Maybe.
The tape every, every time he asks the question.
They taught me this time.
And they talk about it.
Yeah, that would make me uncomfortable.
I'd be like, I would have had the tuna fish sandwich.
Yeah.
I don't like tuna fish sandwiches.
All right, one more question from Bo.
She seems to be afraid of continuing as before with him and afraid of hurting or even losing
him if she changes.
What creates those fears?
Oh my God!
What creates those fears is Bo Bridge is asking too many questions.
Oh, well, that was an unexpected surprise there at the end.
Yeah.
And I have to say, I quite liked it.
There you go, Chrissy.
I love, though.
Brian and Chrissy, teaching you how to handle yourself
in those unexpected, difficult situations
you'll find yourself in at 32 years old.
Right, picnics.
Picnics.
Tuna fish, sandwiches.
Murder scenes out in the woods.
Yeah, sex blankets.
Sex blankets.
I'm gonna make a sex blanket for myself.
I'm gonna bring it around that.
Out to the left.
Get off my blanket.
If you fucking have sex with me.
Yeah.
You know, me and Carrie's around her little binky.
Yeah.
I might have a binky too.
Yeah.
Get off my binky unless you're gonna have sex with me.
Oh God, well, you know what the kids always say?
Make out hard.
Yeah, what was it, they're really making it.
No, they're making it.
What do you say?
Yeah, they're really making it on
or whatever he said, making it hard
or something like that.
Oh, I'll tell you what, you know what's making me hard?
It's not a tcbpodcast.com.
That's what it is, tcbpodcast.com, the place,
the repository for all information, tcb,
the commercial break podcast.
You listen to all the audio, watch all the video,
communicate with Chrissy and I.
If you'd like to send us a text message,
we sure would appreciate it, 661-237-8296.
That's 661, the word best, the number two, and why oh yo, 661 bestie yo.
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Right now there's just a couple of the most recent episodes up there, but we're building
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It's two different channels, audio and video.
I followed it.
Yeah.
Earlier.
Oh you did?
No, okay good.
I'll look and see how many followers we have.
One, Christie.
Okay.
I think that's all I can do for today.
I think you're right, Brian.
But I will say this. I love you. I think you're right, Brian. But I will say this.
I love you.
I love you.
Best to you.
Best to you.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
And remember, next time you're making out at Publix.
Somebody can see you.
Somebody can see you and his name's probably Bo Bridges.
Until next time, we always say we do say we must say.
Bye. we do say we must say bye I'm so happy to see you again I'm so happy to see you again I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
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I'm so happy to see you again I'm so happy to see you again you