The Commercial Break - Give Me A Boscolo
Episode Date: August 26, 2020The Bit: Leave Britany Alone! The Show: Bryan reveals he may have Covid-19 and fears quarantine may make him more productive. The Show: Bryan and Krissy swap stories about Italian Massages and Bryan b...uys ad space from every podcast platform on earth...and beyond! This and much more on Episode 20 of The Commercial Break! Don't forget to rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Text us or leave us a voicemail at +1-661-BEST2YO (+1-661-237-8296) LINKS: Get a FREE TCB limited edition collectible sticker Follow us on Instagram Subscribe and watch the show on Youtube Join us live on Fireside New episodes every Tuesday & Friday everywhere you listen to podcasts! For advertising contact AdvertiseCast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to WSC IT's News at 11.
It's news you can use, Bufphoria snooze.
Well excitement today, building a round pop star Britney Spears as fans and supporters
hit the streets and protest over her father's conservatorship.
A court hearing happened today and while no final decision has been made on the legal
matter quite yet, we sent WSC IT's Dandy Danderson to report on the day's events.
Dandy I know this issue is close to your heart.
Can you tell us how you're feeling after today's court proceedings?
Her song is called Give Me More for a Reason because all you people want is more, more,
more, more, more!
Lever alone!
You're lucky she even performed for you bastards.
Lay it beneath you load!
In early 2020, the world shut down. Stores, restaurants, schools, and whole communities
shut their doors in an effort to protect human life.
As the world quickly changed, one man
went on Facebook to get a degree in internet epidemiology.
Brian, along with his lab assistant,
hopefully, are curing coronavirus by commenting
on fake news and reposting recipes of secret virus
cures from a friend of a friend who works high up in government.
Join Brian and Holi as they discuss the world and life doing this forced interruption,
learning, laughing and loving in this real life commercial break.
On this episode of the commercial break... I don't know where they're based out of. I've
talked to some people over there and I don't. I found out that some, you know, there's a rather
large podcast in the class. I'm happy to like actually help you with your research.
Do you think I need backup on my research?
Because this may be the one thing that I'm doing for 14 straight days.
We may be recording like 112 episodes as I get locked in this studio for 14 days!
I'm free!
This chef to be penis views is very hard and tight I must... Let me work it out, don't worry. Birthday knows how...
Birthday knows how to do...
You're in good hands literally.
Right!
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
What are how old?
Cheers.
Cheers to friends, so near and dear.
Yes, and it's Friday.
Oh, yes, Friday.
Hey, that guy from the widespread panic passed away.
Sonny?
I know, Todd.
Todd.
Todd.
Jan?
John?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Start internet rumours.
Yeah, I know. I hear you. He wasn't actually in Westropan anymore, but he I start internet rumors. Yeah, I know.
I hear you.
He wasn't actually in Westropane anymore, but he was a founding member.
No, he was not.
I caught him at a Athens liquor store one time when I was like 18, 19 years old and I
was trying to get booze.
And you know, I was going to get the booze because it's a liquor store in Athens, Georgia.
But he was there with his overalls on.
And he's a little bigger than he was later on in life.
He's like a big, you know, Husky guy.
And the girl that I was with noticed him
because I was never a huge fan of widespread pain.
I like you guys, right?
I was a huge fan, but I generally knew
that they were a band and that they had a drummer.
And so she's like, I'm sorry.
I'm like, oh my God. And she goes up to him and she's like, hey, was his name again sunny? so she's like, I'm like, oh my God.
And she goes up to him and she's like,
hey, what's his name again, Sonny?
And she's like, Todd.
John.
So he's like,
Sonny is the drum.
And he's like,
he's the other drummer.
So I say, so she says,
oh my God, Todd, it's so good to see you.
And he's like, he's like, yeah,
thanks, you know, it's great to be here.
Oh, and as soon as he opened his mouth, the fire coming out of his he's like, he's like, yeah, thanks, you know, it's great to be here. And as soon as he opened his mouth,
the fire coming out of his mouth was like,
holy shit, this guy's been,
this guy's been at it all day long.
I mean, all day, but he couldn't have been more nice.
I mean, he could not have been more friendly.
Oh, he was really hard.
He really was.
Yeah, I know.
While it's not, while they're not my,
someone that I've gotten into over the course of life,
I do feel bad because I know a lot of my friends,
not I feel bad, but I'm, you know,
I generally feel a sense of sorrow.
It's a pathetic empathy.
That's right.
So I checked in to see if Dean Bodie was also gonna do
a little tribute to Sonny Todd, John Mark Paul Luke,
to one of the apostles.
Bringo.
I checked in to see if Sonny, to see if Dean was going to do his, you know, just a little something about Tom.
Montage.
He did not.
However, he did talk a lot about Bodhi.
So there you go.
Well, that's his, he's Bodhi's number one fan.
Hey, welcome to Dean Bodhi show.
When I was to see, I left on our, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I see I left on on I
He's like a musical savant. He just
Starts singing mostly Billy Joel is what I've noticed, but he can't throw it a few
Bruce Springfield.
Yeah, Dean Bowdie the same.
Dean Bowdie a Dean Bowdie dot com. If you want to see the world's most interesting podcast
marathon that's going on.
DeanBodyShow.com.
He is doing a podcast to whom I don't know, but the guy just keeps going and going and going.
Two episodes a day.
It's him and his dog who he says 27 years old.
It couldn't be the, I mean, it couldn't be a more cute show.
And he's still at it.
Oh, they still at it.
I love it.
I love it.
What else are you going to do?
Yeah, no, it's the quarantine.
I mean, what are you going to do?
You're just going, go get tested.
If you quit your passion project
or in the quarantine, then you're fucked.
Yeah, you might need the reaping thing.
That's right.
I mean, it's Brian's bomb.
Just so I call you, just so I call you,
I'll let you know that elegant nails,
elegant nails, I won't touch you if you want to go there.
Thanks, Mrs. Green. I'm here with Dean. I'm here with Bodie my dog. Oh
Nice here.
Can Irving borrow him as a grandchild?
I'm sure Dean would allow that.
Yeah, my mom's free. They should introduce those two those two. Oh God. Yeah, I'd get voice nails forever. All the time. That's right
My mom's boyfriend still looking for more grandchildren in case anyone's got any to borrow
Lord Tp TBC TBC podcast.com
Like I've been drinking the firewater all day
to visit podcast.com. I feel like I've been drinking the firewater all day.
TCBpodcast.com is where you go to find all the show notes,
and show notes, learn more about Chrissy,
and you can listen to all the episodes.
Leave a review if you care to do so,
and we are soliciting audio clips,
parody songs, whatever audio clip you think might be funny,
and you own it, it's your copy, right?
You did it, you can send it to info at TCBpodpodcast.com or go to the website and drop us a line
And we'll find a way to get those larger files over to us
We're gonna I'd like to start actually showcasing some of that stuff on the show
So send it over and we've gotten one or two so far. We have mixed quality
So I'll just say that
Mixed media. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not sure what language, not sure what language, either of them are speaking.
And I'm pretty sure one of them is like, fuck you in Russian.
It's like, take your show of head, fucking stupid American.
I think he's trying to get me to say something about Kweinon.
And I won't do it.
I just won't do it.
Tracy.
Yeah, because I'll get banned from Facebook, like all the other QAnon idiots.
Yes, that's just idiot. Yeah. And then you can join the break room. We did put out the
first August issue of the break room. And so if you go to TCPpodcast.com, it's hard to
miss it because it'll come right up. It'll say, join the break room. And you do so. And we'll
send you the extra content that we send every month. And it's great this month. You'll
get to hear the voice mail of my mother that we keep on talking about. So if this is your first time here, welcome aboard.
If you're joining us again, welcome back. I'm Brian. This is my good friend.
Hodley episode 2-0, we made it to 20. Yes, we should have a party.
Oh my God, Brian, that's super exciting. It really is. Cheers.
Because internet stats tell me that most podcasts don't make it past episode
number four actually is a four or seven I can't remember I think it's four or seven.
Yeah, there's like in the quarantine there have been a million one million new podcasts
have been started across the world. And somebody was giving the stat I can't remember.
Maybe it was Alison Herr, our good friend good friend does a podcast called Culture Changers, and she had the simple cast COO on,
simple cast is like a ho, we do the podcast.
Yeah, yeah, she did, it was cool.
We do the podcast, we upload it onto our host,
our host then sends it out to the world
where you're listening right now,
whatever that is, Apple or Castbox or Castro's
or Podbean or whatever it is.
Castro's, this is my favorite.
I don't know where they're based out of.
I've talked to some people over there,
and I found out that there's a rather large pod-catching lifestyle.
I'm happy to actually help you with your research.
Do you think I need backup on my research?
I too am in quarantine and I don't have two small children.
So let me help you with your work.
The path that is how I'm going to help you.
Yeah, this is Brian Green with the commercial break.
The what?
The commercial break.
Okay, okay, what you want?
I'd like to buy an advertisement on your platform just so I can get some new listeners.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Yes, currently we're running a special.
You can get a large size banner ad and you can supersize it for $6,722.
Oh great.
Can you tell me about how many people you have on the website every day?
Six million.
Wow, that's awesome.
Yes, six million. That's fantastic. So how many clicks do you expect out of that six million?
Probably five. Wow, where are you guys? I saw the six million people that have a podcast. That's correct. At least that was speaking. We're speaking.
I don't really speak to one person at the time.
It's the law of my country.
Which country is that?
Shabbala-roba.
Oh, where's Shabbala-roba located?
North of the Northport.
Oh, that's awesome.
In space.
Yes, it's where in outer space.
Where podcasting from outer space. Would you it's where another space. And we're broadcasting from outer space.
Would you like to buy the banner?
Yes, I would.
What do I sign up?
I want you to go to Western Union and send it directly to Jose González.
Care to Mexico City.
Oh, that's awesome.
I'm calling all these, every time I find a new podcasting platform
I'm like I wonder if we can do business with them
So you can find a few new customers and then I'll get like emails at like four o'clock in the morning
Sure, no problem
How many clicks do you need?
I don't know how many can you provide?
It's mini
We have the mini package or the more package
which one would you like?
I'll take the many.
$5 million.
That's awesome.
I'm a podcast for some of you go as big.
I'm willing to pay anything for anything.
There's a little joke about podcasters.
How much is a podcast we're willing to pay for a new listener?
The answer is how much you got.
How much you got.
So it's been an interesting, it's been a little bit of a strange day for me, as you know
and many, and many, and I like to get, I'd like to ask you a few questions about your weekend
too, because then it was interesting, but I actually started coming down with a few of the symptoms that may be related to the corona the COVID-19 the corona virus
Yes, the virus the novel virus the corona novel virus. That's right
So a couple of days ago
I I woke up with a splitting headache and it did not go away the entire day like it really stuck with me
And it was bad enough to put me down.
Like where I had to lay down.
I've never had a migraine that I know of.
I'm have some bad headaches,
but they were mostly drug or alcohol or they did.
And so I didn't think much of it to be honest with you
until a few friends in my circle, in my group,
who I think we've all been quarantining pretty tightly.
But we do share, like, you share, there's some people in common
that we share that come over to our house
to help us out and stuff like that.
And so they unlearned me that there was one of the group,
did have one of the family members of the group
of the people who come out to help us out
with the baby and stuff like that.
They do have coronavirus.
So then I thought to myself,
and then I woke up again today with a headache
and so I was like, you know what, not probably needing to take any chances.
I'm gonna go get a real nasal swab test,
which I haven't had done yet.
I've had blood tests done, but not nasal swabs.
And thanks to you, I got a hold of Core Atlanta,
which is like a volunteer group doing free COVID testing
and they've been doing it for a while now.
You've been going, you've been three times?
Yes, I just had my third one done today,
and within a month.
Yeah, and they're giving you results
in like, in like 24 hours, huh?
24 to 48 hours.
Because I feel.
I've experienced so far.
Unbelievable, because I feel like the same people
who are doing testing at like CVS.
Like, so I go online and I tell Google,
I say, find me a coronavirus test.
And the first thing that comes up is your,
is the group that you told me about.
It comes up on Google, and it doesn't even have a web page.
Google just says go here, right?
Yeah.
Don't go anywhere else.
Go here.
But because I don't know much about the go here, I'm like, now they're here.
They're doing it at CVS.
Let me figure it out.
Yeah.
Well, CVS has no appointments ever for any reason.
They also tell you it's going to take seven to 10 fucking days to get your results.
Well, that does mean no good.
In seven to 10 days, I could be in a hospital somewhere
Like I don't I don't need to know that and my kids could be sick
I don't need to know that seven to ten days to know that seven to ten days for now
I need to know it now and then it says go to this little minute clinic down the street. Hopefully I swear to God
It said Google says it's open from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.
For coronavirus testing drive through only no appointment needed go there results in two or three days
I show up at this place
There's weeds growing over the fucking doors
And I'm not the only one to there's like 12 other people in the parking lot like we're all scratching our heads
I guess I guess this place yeah, it's closed not only
It's like one of those minute clinics and not only does it not do coronavirus testing
It doesn't do any kind of fucking testing because there's no one there. Doors are closed. Lights are off. Good night, Sally. I mean, it's just all over.
Not either. Maybe I came at the wrong time, but the place was overgrown. Like there were
weeds growing through. They were growing around the front. I don't know if coronavirus put
them out of business. Even if a CVS or was it the right aid? Yeah, I went to one day.
Right aid dialed the street for a man. It literally did close down and it has a big
thing.
The right aid closed down?
Yeah.
That was the crackade right there.
It was bought by some good company that's going to tear it down.
Yeah.
They're Walgreens or one of them.
Yeah.
When I lived down there, that right aid was quite hoppin' in all the wrong directions.
Yeah.
You had to wear bulletproof vest when you went down there.
It was like crackade.
There were a lot of drug deals that were going down there.
In open air, right across the street
from the Atlanta fucking police department,
when I lived down there in that side of town,
and I lived pretty close to there.
I lived pretty close to the Atlanta precinct,
like the Atlanta police department precinct.
And it seemed to me that the Atlanta police department
kind of had a deal with the neighbors next door,
which was, we're gonna let all the white people
come and buy their drugs from this one particular spot
that's right next to fucking door
to the Atlanta police department.
And we're just gonna turn our heads
and we're gonna go somewhere else
and arrest other drug dealers
because it was going on 24 fucking seven on these corners
and police officers were driving by all day long
sitting in the gas station parking lots,
driving by, getting McDonald's, getting Wednesdays,
whatever it was, but there were open air, it was like an open air drug market
just going on and I always found that rather suspicious.
Like, when the cops, this is like easy pickings,
just go get these guys, right?
But they never seemed to fuck with those guys.
It was always somebody else down the street.
I'm not sure why that is.
And I'm not even getting this speculation.
I mean, I'm not even getting this speculation. But mean, I'm not getting this speculation.
But anyway, so I go to the,
of course I didn't go to CVS or write aid
or any reputable place.
I'm Brian Green.
I researched the place.
I could go to get a test right now, right the second,
without any waiting, nowhere.
So I went to, you know, American family values,
with clinic, right?
I don't know, I showed up at a,
I just didn't like, I don't know,
a methadone clinic for a grown-up. I was like, I need a test. Do you need, do you need
a grown-up I with test with your band or ad? Yes, I do. Okay, come on. It. Send that $10,000 to my wife, Maria Gonstanis.
I'm on it, I was saying, I'm on it.
So I went.
What's your ban now?
Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Bitcoin you guys are advanced. That's correct. Send that Bitcoin to John Smith.
So I go to your little, so I'd sign up two seconds.
It's like two seconds to sign up and they give me an appointment,
10 minutes from the time when I signed up.
But I thought was amazing and I go there and it's a well oiled muck mother,
fucking sheen, 20 lanes, 100 people out there.
I mean, not that they're one so weak,
just because.
Why not?
And it's free.
And that's down there straight.
It's free and you're getting results in a day.
I mean, that's incredible.
I mean, yeah, it just makes sense that you would just want to know
that you're not spraying COVID droplets on.
Yeah.
I mean, I really do want it.
Now I really do want to know.
You just traveled, you know, we'll get into that later.
But yeah, we'll get into that later. But yeah.
No, get into it now.
So what happens?
So listen, no specifics here.
So your daughter goes away to college.
You guys get on a plane to go where she's at in college, right?
And so it's a trip out west that you just couldn't make.
I guess you could make it by car,
but it would take four times as long.
And in my opinion, probably put you in much more danger along the way
because now you have to stop at hotels, motels, restaurants, you know, gas stations.
That's right, I am a motel-counter girl.
Are you a motel-counter girl?
So we were having a forced as a stop at motels.
I am not a motel-counter boy.
No, I know, I know.
Nothing against motels.
I know, I know, I know. Nothing to get swept out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we did, we flew.
And I have to say, Delta, I have to give a shout out Delta.
They were very, very, very good.
No middle seats.
The air was filtrated.
They said more than the grocery store air.
Wow.
Everybody's wearing masks.
Has to wear masks.
Has to wear masks.
Somebody does not have a mask on your turn around the plane,
take it back.
I mean, they've got masks to give out.
I've seen it happen on YouTube.
They're giving you sanitizer wipes as soon as you walk in.
I mean, it's just all, it was no cart service.
They were giving you bags full of just like,
here's a water, here's some snacks.
Good for them.
Yeah, because you don't, I mean, because when you're getting on an airplane, here's a water, here's some sex. Good for them, yeah, because you don't,
I mean, because when you're getting on an airplane,
it's like, stop it right now.
You're asking for the bar.
It's like, I mean, you know, a plane right now seems to me
like a coronavirus death trap.
Right.
But Delta, who's based here in Atlanta,
and it's a hometown favorite,
I think of most people who live in the Lanset, right?
It's the largest airline in the world.
That's the reason why we do the business, a busiest airport in the world.
And to me, they've always done a great job. I always fly dots
when I get an opportunity to. So there's one of those brands that I
actually care about that I'm actually like, I'm invested in that brand.
Yeah.
And so I'm glad to hear that they're taking this very seriously.
I took a flight about a week before the lockdowns started to
Phoenix, Arizona. Yeah.
And they were very good on those flights.
So you have to wear a mask at that point.
But they were handing out hand sanitizer.
They weren't doing certain things on the flight that they normally do.
And it just seemed like they had their shit generally together already.
And this was a week before lockdown started.
This is when only like three states, four states had coronavirus.
Georgia being one of them, of course,
because we have the busiest airport in the world.
So you get on the plane and it's like a whole different experience, huh?
Yeah, it is.
I mean, they're all still very nice.
And you go and sit down, but yeah, there's no middle seats being sold.
So that all the middle seats are done, huh?
Gone.
Nope, no.
So what if it's like the three of you are flying out there, can you sit together?
No, what we do, what you do is you buy the row.
Okay. Olivia had the, you know, the, the, what you do is you buy the row. Okay.
Olivia had the, you know, the, by the window, I had the aisle, Jeff had the aisle, and there
was another guy.
By the window.
Okay, gotcha.
Actually, there was a little snappy with that.
That guy started puking as soon as we got into the air.
No way.
Poor Jeff.
I look over, you know, I've got my headphones in and I'm like, so nervous and I've got
my N95 on and it's kind of, you know, really hurting my nose and everything's very uncomfortable
and it's a three hour flight.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
So what a nightmare.
I look over at Jeff and I'm kind of like, yeah, it's okay.
And he's like, no.
Take me here and put your mask on.
Yeah.
He's like, no, everything's not okay.
Now I was like, what? What's going on? And he wrote on his like phone, you know, on the notes Now he's like, what?
What's going on?
He wrote on his phone on the notes.
He's like, the guy next to me is throwing up.
Oh, is he throwing up in the pew bag?
Yeah, now look over here.
And there's no my ass gone and he threw it up and just like,
Oh.
So there was that.
Did he look like sickly?
Like, was he an older man or like, did he look sickly?
Like, maybe at a long night
at the office and he was just kind of fucked up or?
No.
No, just a guy who just got air sick, huh?
Like late 20s.
Wow.
No.
Yeah.
And then he just got sick.
Maybe it was the nerves.
It's nerve, it's nerve-wracking.
You're going through the airport.
The airports are already in nerve-wracking.
To say there are people that are not wearing masks
in the airport most
everybody is but some people aren't and some people aren't wearing them a proper way
you know they're wearing with a note around there and she's fucking like they're
protecting their god damn goatee not it's stupid you should actually have it every
year does it mouth so anyways we did we made it out there. We stayed in a hotel. The hotel was fantastic. I have to give a shout out to
Marriott the Marriott chain of hotels
Very again all masks you touchless to get in and
Whatever so you just have to kind of cart men a cart compartment a life
Carp
Pantilize it and say okay, you got to just enjoy it while we're doing it. And so all we could do was just wash our hands, put it on hand sanitizer, wear masks.
You just have to do what you have to do.
How's your hair?
Yeah.
And then come back.
So, yes, today we went and got tests.
We came back Wednesday night.
Yeah, good for you.
Today we went and got tests and we're going to see.
Yeah, good for you.
Yeah, I just got my test and I'm going to wait and see too.
And I got a small child and a very nervous baby mama right now. Of course. It wouldn't fucking surprise me if I have the virus and I'm gonna wait and see to and I got a small child and I'm very nervous baby mama right now and of course
It wouldn't fucking surprise me if I have the virus and I'll explain why because here in the state of Georgia
A fifth between 15 and 17%
We're the hot spot because we're the largest
Per capita. Yeah, but listen, we're it door number one
Listen, and I don't want to get to Georgia specific here because I know there's plenty
There's most of our listeners are not from Georgia and they could give a shit less, right? But
Let me tell you where For the United States.
Yeah, in Georgia, United States,
it's all the same Georgia, United States.
So, there's Georgia Russia.
Oh, yeah, there is.
So, in Georgia, this governor of ours,
didn't lock down to late,
opened everything back before everybody else did,
including massage parlors and bowling alleys.
That's what he decided to open first. Massage parlors and bowling alleys. That's what he decided to open first.
Massage parlors and bowling alleys.
Tattoo.
Yeah, don't even begin to ask me why he did this.
Listen, I'm no fan of this guy on any day of the week,
but I root for him to do the right thing because I,
because I don't care who's in office.
I root for them to do the right thing, even Donald Trump,
even though I can't stand the guy.
And that's clear in listening to the show,
I root for him to do the right thing because he's our president and he's a president of
everybody, not just some of the people, right?
And we need it.
We need him to do the right thing.
Yeah.
Now, Brian Kim is, we are now like even the White House is saying the state of Georgia is
fuck, like this mouth fucked up.
So the White House puts, you know, leaks in this memo that says in this internal meeting
where they're saying Georgia is really quite a fucking mess, right?
10,000 new cases, 12,000, 14,000 new cases a day.
Brian Kemp tweets out something saying that the, you know, the liberal media is wrong.
You know, we're doing great.
Everything's fine.
It's like, you're trying to, it's like he's trying to play it.
Polo one, two, how do you do on us?
And I just don't fucking buy it.
It's just not good.
It's not good here in Georgia in between 15 and 17% of all people being tested are positive.
Now of course, people are going to get tested and probably most of them have some kind of
virus symptoms, right, like me.
But the truth is, is that if in March, if you walked into a grocery store, it was a random
event.
If I felt relatively safe in March because even though I had my mask on, I knew that
it was unlikely
that someone was gonna be in that store,
spreading disease all over the things
that I was then gonna be touching and then check out.
If I kept my distance, my mask and my hand sanitizer,
like they had recommended, I was gonna be okay, right?
Now, fast forward to August,
and if I go to a store and there's a hundred people there,
20 of them have the fucking virus.
And so I know I'm gonna get the virus.
Coronavirus, price check, no free. 200 people there, 20 of them have the fucking virus. And so I know I'm gonna get the virus.
Coronavirus, price check, I'll free. It's like, everybody has the virus now.
And if we're quarantining pretty damn hard,
and now someone, and now one of us has the virus,
that tells me all I need to know about the state of Georgia
and the state of affairs, because we're just screwed.
Everyone's gonna get it.
And maybe some of us are gonna live through it just fine, and it's going to be okay.
And I know some people who've had it, and they're doing just fine now.
But I know some people who've had it, and they're not doing fine, because they're no longer
on earth.
And they passed away, and they're perfectly healthy human beings.
I don't know their exact medical history.
But anyway, I pray, I'm keeping my fingers crossed so they don't have coronavirus, and I'm glad that I can't give a tease through this microphone
Because this may be the one thing that I'm doing for 14 straight days
We may be recording like 112 episodes as I get locked in this studio for 14 days
I'm free
I
Will tell you that that I know you you went to drop off one of your stepdaughters at college and
these kids in college, man, they're out of control.
They are out of control.
And I don't blame them.
Listen, if I was in college, I probably would be the same way.
You would.
Absolutely.
You would.
And especially too because the death rate with that age of students is super low.
Even if the death rate was 50% they wouldn't get it.
Yeah.
That is true, but I mean, everybody's been locked down.
Yeah.
Especially freshmen.
Like, what about this?
All of a sudden you're on your own.
You're free to do whatever the fuck you want to do.
You have no parents.
You have, yeah.
Woo.
It's like, you know, me to set the bonfire, meet us at the 10th party,
Kappa Kappa, Alphamega, you know,
wet t-shirt contest, bikini ding dong contest,
like we're all going down,
and we're gonna get fucking nutty.
And in Georgia, like, they have this college
called the North Georgia College,
which isn't the middle of fucking nowhere
to be honest with you,
it really is in the middle of nowhere.
They have a street party with thousands of kids
are crammed in the street. I'm all the viral videos. Did you see that? party with thousands of kids are crammed in the street.
Did you see that?
Thousands of children are crammed in the street, men wearing masks all wilding out and drinking
themselves to them just delightful.
And so at first I'm like, mother fucker, mother fucker, you're, you know, you kids, you know,
I'm feel like an old man.
I'm like, you know, you kids.
And then I think to myself, if I was a freshman in college,
what would Brian do?
If I was a freshman in college, or even if I,
even if I was a freshman in college at 42 years old,
I'd probably still be at the street party too.
Because it's, I mean, go on, let's be honest about it.
I know, I'm ready to go out and have a street party right now.
I know.
We're all done with it.
Let me, let me tell you what I did do last week.
I woke up after I put my Ikea jigsaw puzzle,
333,000 pieces of wood, swing set together.
The most uncom, it doesn't even have a motor to it,
it's like it's four days.
Four days would have fucking thing together.
And the sweltering heat.
And I, so I put that damn thing together
and then I ended up with a crick in my neck,
like us old people sometimes do, right?
And then I don't know, I don't know what the call is.
I'm the crick in the neck.
That's right.
I hate the crick.
No, everybody gets a crick in the neck.
Everybody gets a crick in the neck.
You need to be wrong on it.
That's absolutely what I'm talking about.
And then you can't work it out with me.
You're older, you're a sweet man.
Because of putting swingsets together, but.
It's the whole fuck thing.
Everybody's got a creek in their neck.
Crick.
Is it Crick or Creek?
It's a Creek.
It's a Creek.
I don't know what it is, but it hurts.
So after 12 days of dealing with this incredible pain,
like it was really painful and I couldn't get rid of it,
right?
No matter what I did.
Like if you turn a certain way, just like,
yeah.
The kids can see on YouTube now.
They'll be able to see a YouTube pretty soon.
You can see that I have my yoga mat collection back here.
That's not because I do yoga,
that's because I like to collect yoga mats.
And so I try to do everything, I stretch,
everything, I use my wife was getting at it.
I had this knot in my neck that just would not go away.
So after many days, my wife begged and pleaded with me
and she said, you have to go get this fixed.
Yeah.
Chiropractor or massage therapist.
One of the two, but you're going to go.
And I, no, no, no, I don't want to go.
You know, quarantine, the whole nine yards.
After day number 12, when I woke up and I couldn't even move my head,
I was like, okay, I'm going to go somewhere.
So I picked the massage therapist, figuring that.
Thank God the massage followers were a they got the massage followers. They got it. Hello, kettle. This is the
boss calling Brian. This is Brian Kim sausage calling. So okay. So yes, I'm being a
little bit hypocritical, but in an emergency, or I felt like it was an emergency, I went to the massage parlor, and that was an interesting situation in and of itself. You can't, there's no more, you know, hanging out with them, like I go to the massage parlor, you know, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they Now there before all done I have so many questions
Not like he used to be more hanging out more hanging out literally when I say hanging out. I mean out of my boxers
Okay
Not like it used to be you can't hang out at the massage box.
In the song stage, Baja, can I help you?
Are you open right now?
We're open 24 hours a day honey.
Come on.
What kind of services do you offer?
Mainly below the way.
Are you a police officer?
Yes I am.
Great. Yes, I am great offer free massages
Tuesday
But just no hanging out.
They don't hang it out.
So I go to the massage part.
I'm going to tell you a story real quick.
Astrid and I went to Europe a couple of years ago on a baby moon.
I have a funny massage story to every year.
Okay.
But they do it differently over there in all of the places.
So hold it and hold it over there.
Yes, they do.
I had to talk myself into what was happened to me
to make it okay.
I had to talk myself out of what was happening to me
to make sure that I didn't get arrested
in some Italian mom takedown, right?
So listen, I'm no idiot.
I know that there are plenty of massage parlors out there
that are just a front for jackshacks.
And I also understand that they may serve a purpose.
Maybe some guys that's just like,
they need some guys or girls need that release
and all that other stuff.
I also understand the massage play parlors can be dangerous
for women and for men in some sense
that there can be creeps out there that touch you in the wrong place.
So I don't want to mitigate any of that.
I understand the seriousness that the massage players can present as far as sexual harassment
and assault is concerned.
So put that away for a second and just understand that this is just a story, right?
I went to Italy and I was in Rome and we were staying at the Boscolo Hotel, the Boscolo, which was this beautiful hotel,
right in the downtown heart of Rome,
in the traffic circle, right by the Pantheon, beautiful,
right walking distance.
Yeah, that's right.
Right close to everything, we could walk to everything.
So we get to this hotel that we booked online
and you never know what to expect when you book online
and man is it beautiful. So pretty in the middle A level we get into the place and they take our bags and they give us a
fresh drink and they touch us how wonderful things are going to be and they take us up to our room
and it's this old building that's been converted into this modern hotel but they still have the artwork
on the walls and all of the shit and I'm like wow this is it's my first time to Italy and I am just so in love with everything in Italian, right?
This is the beautiful,
Rome is beautiful.
And it's, and it's, and it's hidden.
This is my place.
That's right.
But about day number three, I get a crick in my neck.
And so I'm like, hey, hun, you know, maybe we should go,
they have a spa upstairs, you know,
and so it says award winning spa, maybe we should go there.
And they had offered us a credit at the spa,
for whatever reason, I think we got there
and they didn't have our room ready
and took an hour extra hour or whatever.
They offered us like a $40 credit at the spa.
And so we decided to go get these massages.
And so out, so we're waiting in the,
you walk up and you walk right out of the elevator
and then it looks like an office.
Like you're in an office building,
it's not a check-in necessarily that you would see
like an American spa where they have, you know,
like the waterfalls and the cool music and the good smells.
It's just like an office.
It's like someone standing behind a desk
and they're like, well, come to the book of the massage
and like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Mr. Green, fantastic, you know, please take a seat.
And so, outcome, two masseuses.
It's just a astro-nightener sitting there so, outcome to masseuses. It's just a astronaut and I are sitting there.
Outcome to masseuses.
Bertha, right?
And Bettina.
Bertha is exactly what Bertha sounds like.
It's about a woman, maybe 200 plus pounds
in her late 60s, right?
And she's gonna crack one on a pastor.
And she looks like the kind of woman
who gives you the deep tissue massage. She puts all her body weight into into it and you're gonna get but she's been doing this for years
And she knows exactly what you need right in America. I think it's a rule
I'm just assuming and I maybe I tell me massage therapists out there in the world if I'm right or I'm wrong
That when you have a man and a woman is a couple that comes into a place
It's just an unspoken rule that the
young hot masseuse goes to the woman every single time because it's not appropriate to
set the man up in those kind of circumstances. But in Italy, it's the exact opposite.
Bettina comes up and she's like, Mr. Green. And I'm like, yes, and she's like, oh, no, speak
to English. You know, I'm from Russia. and I'm like, okay, no, Ben,
no problem, you know, deep dish, you know,
a little hard, a little soft, you know, like this,
I get back into this massage room, it's pitch black,
pitch black with this little tiny little waterfall light,
you know, and you can hear the music.
And Bettina starts to massage me.
Now, here's how our normal massage goes.
If you've never been to a spa or you're waiting
for some reason to go to one,
here's how a massage normally goes in the United States.
You start up, they hit your shoulders,
they hit your arms, they hit your, you know,
maybe like, you know, you're facing upwards.
They might hit your knees.
You're sitting, you're, I can't wait to tell you my story
because you're hitting on all the right points.
Oh my God, oh my God.
You're facing downward.
Yeah, well, you start up in America,
at least in my most massage.
You start up knees, neck, maybe feet, maybe calves,
that's it, you know, I wear underwear,
I'm not going nude to the massage party
because I think that's holding an appropriate, right?
But the fear of every man who gets a massage and I think why most men don't get massages
is the random erection that's going to happen and make the whole room uncomfortable when this woman is
massaging you. First of all, I won't get a massage by a man. It just doesn't feel right to me.
It's not that I'm home-of-phobic or anything like that. It just doesn't, I just don't care for it, right?
And so this woman starts me off on my back and then finishes on the front,
but she is massage usually like the no go zone is like nipples to knees. Let's just call
it, right? Nipples to knees. You just don't go there. It's not appropriate. Keep your
hands off the nipples and the knees. It's like anywhere in between there is this like,
why you don't need a massage. So there's nothing there to massage. I mean, occasionally
you'll have a masseuse that'll go for the bottom of your butt or maybe the top of your
butt, right? But that's like this totally random and there's no sexual
intention whatsoever. This woman took her hand and was massaging my stomach and then working her
way under the towel, right? And I was like, uh, what the hell? I had to like, I had to say something.
I had to, I had to pop up and be like,
oh, a little tender there.
You know, just work on my feet.
Because here's my fear.
My fear, first of all, is this woman's about to try
and make this a jack-shack moment.
And it's wholly inappropriate because I'm a married man, right?
I don't want to get whacked off at a massage parlor, first of all.
It's gross.
It seems weird to me.
I don't know this woman. This woman doesn't know me. I'm in a weird hotel in the middle of Italylor first of all. It's gross. It seems weird to me. I don't know this woman.
This woman doesn't know me.
I'm in a weird hotel in the middle of Italy.
Second of all, I'm afraid that the mob is going to set me up
with pictures and videos later on down the road.
And they're going to ask me to.
I mean, that's a valid point.
Right?
It happens in Russia all the time.
I don't want to be the subject of some fucking crowdsourced
bullshit from the mob.
And so I'm like, I literally had to like,
could just kind of take my hand and like push her hand
but down to the side.
Because I was like, this is,
this is quickly turning into something a little bit strange.
Like, and it felt strange.
It did, you know, if the woman had been,
if it had been Bertha, and Bertha was doing it, right?
And she was just doing it because that's her years
of experience tells you that, you know,
there's some tenderness in your nuts and you need to massage those balls
From your
Very tight
You have two nuts in your balls
The chef to be one not you're ball the chef of your penis feels very hard and
tight. I must let me work it out. So don't worry.
Birth on nose out. Birth on nose out to do urine, good hands literally.
Right. You'd be like, that's exactly what should happen.
Yeah. Okay. So if it was like a, There was like a doctor puts his hands on my nuts
or her hands on my nuts.
I don't, there's no sexual feeling about it whatsoever.
It's a clinical bullshit.
And so there's some masseuses you know
that are just clinical, but this was not clinical.
It was bordering on getting strange,
like wild orchard scene.
So I had to quickly like, you know,
position her hands somewhere else.
And then she went forward again
And I was like whoa whoa whoa now to be clear she wasn't like sticking her hand down my pants
She was massaging my lower abdomen, but every time getting a little bit lower and I was like
What are you doing? There's no muscles in my lower abdomen the unique
Workbows and ears
Look at me doesn't look like that's where I hold my stress?
That's where all the good stuff is.
That's where I eat my stress away.
Oh my God.
I swear.
Now it's a running joke for the entire, like, you know,
whenever I go get a massage,
Asterole will say, you're going to get a post-clone.
And oh my God, maybe, I don't know.
Maybe this would be my lucky day.
Here in America just doesn't happen like that.
They stay really nipples to these.
I mean, sometimes they massage your thigh occasionally, right?
But they're quick about it.
It is very quick.
They're quick about it.
I don't know, maybe the bus glow would have been quick too.
I didn't give it a try.
Oh my god, Brian, I mean, I've got a really similar story.
All right, go. And just turning into a massage parlor day.
It has and every we've got time we can keep going to cut some stuff out but I got to tell
my story.
So I am with my sister we went to Italy and this is like a dream trip for us.
We're Italian, not full blooded Italian, but you know, people with Italian background
top just like that.
It doesn't matter how much Italian you are, you're Italian.
Yeah, yeah, we're Italian, we're going to Italy.
So I had the fortunate job where I wanted trip.
It was a sales contest, I wanted trip.
I had the fortune of being a part of this team and we all got to go take these trips
And I'm like I'm going to Italy and in fact I was really I was really swallve about it
I we got a week of vacation along as part of the trip no shit
So and I I positioned it around memorial day so we had you like 12 days
position did around memorial day so we had like twelve days ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And we're just having the best time. It's very close with the police. And we're seeing everything we're doing everything. And it's just amazing.
We're cheering every night with wine.
We get to the tusseting area.
And we weren't saying in Florence.
We were saying in Sienna.
And so Sienna, I had been told, it's like the spoke,
where you can kind of stay.
That's the middle of tusseting.
You can kind of go out from there and do different things.
So we did a day trip to Florence.
And we did a wine trip.
And we got together with this travel coordinator when we first got to
the hotel and her name was Pia. She was just amazing. Pia Maria. Oh, Pia Maria. Pia Maria.
Pia Maria. Whatever. Whatever. What did I tell you? It was amazing. And so she set us up with
like a cooking class, a private cooking class with her friend and the Tuscan Hills. And then we had this day too. We're going to the winery and also
to this day spa.
At the time, Kelly, my sister,
had described it from college.
And I had worked in a day spa before,
actually all through college.
I'm very familiar with massages.
I had a lot of cool.
But I'm like, Kelly, we gotta get the massages.
Like I've never had one before and I'm nervous.
And I said, no worries. We're to get the massage. She's like, I've never had one before and I'm nervous. And I said, no worries, we're going to get the massage.
No worries.
Yeah, I've been doing this for years.
I've been doing this in a pro.
We're going for this.
And she's like, okay.
And she in the night before we're in the talking, she's like, what if I get a man?
And I said, no problem.
They're fine.
They're totally, they're very professional.
We get there. we have reservations.
It's this place too that's like out, we get a, like a limo.
Whoa.
A quarter of a set us up, like five star all the way.
We have a limo come and pick or driver service.
Comes and picks up, takes us out to the country side
in Tuscany.
Wow.
No one is speaking English out there.
No, we just be clear. We're not speaking English. And everything's good. And so we speaking English out there. No, just to be clear.
With frustrations and everything's good.
And so we're getting out there and I'm like, okay.
And we brought our bathing suits too,
because you know, it's a spot.
You might have to take a dip in the pool
or the hot tub.
Yeah.
It's a pool.
It's a whole thing.
It's a whole thing.
So we get out there and we're doing like the Turkish bath.
Wow. I love the Turkish bath.
Wow.
I love that Turkish bath.
Sounds wonderful.
That's a whole other story with a man and the Turkish
bath spray in his head.
But anyway, so I won't go to that.
So we're finally like, OK, we're ready for the massages.
They take us downstairs, just like, you know,
below in this clay mud, you know, with the...
The cavern.
The cavern.
The cavern.
It is a massage cavern.
And they come down and they had kind of gotten us when we first checked
into this place, they had gotten us a little bit confused because it said,
Mr. and Mrs.
Houdley on our
graduation. And I was like, we first checked in.
I was kind of like, ha ha.
Not Mr. and Mrs.
It's
Yeah, it's Mrs.
And Mrs. Oh, they're like, let's me.
It's great. No problem. We got you covered
It's Italy. We're very February forward here
I'm like ha ha. Okay, and I don't think they fully got it because then later on I'm we're down in the cavern and
The people come down and the guy a guy comes down and he's like a young,
good looking guy.
And he comes down and he's like, Mrs. Hodley.
And we're both Mrs. Hodley.
And it's a man.
And Kelly had been worried about it the night before
by sister.
And so I was like, it's me.
I'll go.
Yeah, I'll go.
I'll take the man.
I'll take the man.
From there, things, here's the story.
Here's the meat of the story.
So we go, he leads me, and there had been a woman that had come down to you.
So I took the man.
No, good for you.
Yeah, you took the bullet, right?
Yeah, I took the bullet.
I'm like, I got this.
I'm a pro.
No problem.
You took the bullet and the fingers.
I'm just.
Yeah.
So we get up to the massage room, we get in there and I distinctly remember
it was a beautiful massage room overlooking like the Tuscan countryside.
Wow.
Gorgeous and.
What could go wrong?
That sounds wonderful.
Yeah, you get it.
You get it. You get it.
Here, you change into this and there's like a paper thong on the table.
And I was like, um, and I was a little nervous.
Yeah, like a pit like,
I guess someone else used this.
I'm very progressive,
but I'm like, I've got my bathing suit bottom
on how about that.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Let me just take off the top of my bikini
and I'm gonna lay face down.
And so he goes lay face up and I go,
no, I was like, I'm gonna lay face down.
I'm thinking, he's like, ha ha ha ha, like he didn't understand,, I was like, I'm gonna play something. He's like, ha, ha, ha, like, he didn't understand,
but I was like, the need to be trying.
I'm like, ha, ha, ha.
I'm gonna lay face down.
So I'm laying face down and I'm kind of like getting into it
and there's music playing and he's misogyn.
I think he's going pretty well,
and then he goes, now it's time to turn over.
And I was like, bull, but I... But I And I was like, but I don't have a time.
I don't have a time.
I don't have a time on.
So I'm like, okay, I did it.
And I'm thinking he's going around the boobs, but no.
He's going in for a boob massage.
Whoa.
He's going in for a full pectoral boob massage.
And then he, he massages the rest of my body too. But while I'm there, I'm like,
this is weird. This is totally weird. Is he laughing? Like, is
he going to tell his friends later? And Jennifer Aniston do
this? I'm pretty sure this is just that normal. It's normal.
It's normal. Everybody does it. Everybody gets a tit massage.
Everyone gets a boom massage. Everyone gets a tit massage.
Everyone gets a poop massage.
Everyone gets a titt massage.
Needless to say, I wasn't relaxed. No, of course not.
That's second for that poop massage part.
And then I get down after I'm done.
And I go downstairs and kill a gaze.
I can only imagine what you just went through.
Yeah.
I got a titt massage. We're seated to drink wine. Did she get a titt massage? Is the question. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through.
I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went through. I just went. I just went. I just went. I just went. I just went. I just went. I just went. I just went. I dated a girl, you know the one I'm talking about.
She took a trip to Colorado.
And while she was in Colorado, a friend of hers,
I don't know how they found this massage therapist,
but they found a massage therapist.
Now mind you, I am dating this woman at the time.
She didn't tell me about this till she comes back,
but she is with the friend of hers
and that she's very matter of fact
about this whole situation.
That the guy gave her a massage told, told, told this girl that
you should be naked for the massage because this is an intense
deep dive massage. I'm going to do some things you've never had
done before, but it's going to relax you. And he persisted to
finger her during the massage. And she said she found it quite relaxing.
And I was like, wait a second, you're my girlfriend
and you, and he, like some massage therapist
just fingered you and you found that quite relaxing.
She's like, it was quite frankly the best massage I've ever had.
What about the sex massage I give you with my penis?
Still the best massage I've ever had.
The stranger in Colorado.
And I always felt weird about like, okay,
so then like fast forward like two years after this
and then we're year after this.
And we're gonna take a trip to Colorado
to see this woman that she was with.
And she's in like I can hear her on the phone making plans
and she's like, oh, maybe we should go get a massage from Bob.
I'm like the fuck you are. They should go get a massage from Bob. I'm like, the fuck you are.
Can I go get a massage from Bob?
Jesus Christ.
Oh my God, that's like Kelly and I just laughed at night
because we were, I mean, I was a little shaken up.
It's just a whole different world.
Yeah.
I'm like, Jennifer and Ison does this.
Celebrity, Jesus.
It's okay, Chrissy.
Just I was like, talking about self-threat,
I'm like, the food massage feels good.
I know. Yeah. Doesn't, it does, it does. Just I was like, talk about self-threat, I'm like, the food massage feels good. I know.
Yeah.
Doesn't it does it does it?
You know, Asher told me, she's like, and it's true.
It's just things just work differently over there, right?
They're not afraid of their sexuality.
Yes.
And I think that it's probably, at least for me,
from my situation, I think there's probably,
there's probably a good chance that most men
or Italian men who walk into those massage
parlors, part of the massage is going in, it has going a little extra, right?
It's getting those knots out of your nuts.
It is.
That's how the nuts and boob.
Oh.
So, Gekheli and I were like, he thought we can't, we can't, we can't do all things in
our head.
We were like, well, it was a man and they thought it was mr. Houdley, so maybe they thought it would be a man
And so it was a pectoral massage
Is a nipple massage is what it was you're asking for the bar
So I got a massage there it is I got a massage during quarantine coronavirus and now I have symptoms
And now all I can think to myself is the freaking lady, you know, I get in there, she's wearing an M95 mask
and I'm like, do I take my mask off or do I leave it on?
She goes completely up to you.
I'll be wearing mine the whole time.
I just wash my hands and sanitize
and we have to take a test every week to work here.
And I'm like, okay, so what I did was massage on while I was up
and then massage on while I was down
because I figured, you you know I'm breathing
into that fucking pillow that strangles you. That's a whole...
Okay, I can get you another 350 subscribers. Really? How much?
How much do you owe in your mortgage? I don't know, a couple hundred thousand dollars.
Okay, here's the deal. You sign over your mortgage to me and I'll get you 355 more subscribers.
That's awesome. What happens this again?
Podcast universe.
Podcast universe. That's great. It sounds awesome.
You're the only podcast on the app for 12 days. If you sign over your card to me.
I'll be the only podcast on your app for 12 days with 6 million listeners.
It just turned to 7 million. Look at that.
That's the real time.
Tcvpodcast.com is where you can go to find out more about Chrissy and I.
You can read all the show notes, listen to all the episodes.
Please leave a review and like us on your favorite podcasting platform.
Remember shows drop every Wednesday, right about midnight.
And we are soliciting songs, audio clips, funny bits that you do yourself.
And then we'll play them on air and hey, we might even get in touch with you.
And if you, if you do record something,
just make sure that I can actually understand
what you're saying.
It doesn't have to be in my language, is it?
We're also soliciting masseuses.
Yes, both scoloma, massage is on.
We're on this.
We need a both scolo, that's what we need.
That's what we need.
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Hi, I'm Fiany Chilam.
Next week I'll tell the story about my dad
living my dad, listen to my mom's
and my mom's impression.
Too great.
Too great.
Too great.
We're gonna get through this.
Let's hope we don't have coronavirus.
Yes, fingers crossed.
I know fingers crossed.
I love you.
I love you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
How are things?
Does it need to be?
Try a car.
Oh, Jesus.
Does it need to be? Try it, Colin.
Oh, Jesus.
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