The Commercial Break - Glory Be, Yip Yip Yee!
Episode Date: August 24, 2021Bryan describes his disastrous trip to Walgreens to get a few COVID tests, the gang ponder turning 100 episodes old and then they "go back to the well" after 90 episodes to revisit TV preachers and th...eir righteous behaviors. Bryan learns that even the best of preachers start somewhere. Finally, we learn more about the worst of preachers and their humble beginnings! It's a rocking good time.... LINKS: Watch this episode on Youtube TCBTV-minus Sponsor FUM (Use Code TCB) MEMPHO Music Fest (Oct 1st-3rd 2021) Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: 1-(661)-BEST-2-YOU  | 661-(237-8296) FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: info@tcbpodcast.com A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
And welcome back to WSHIT's special presentation of the Wonderment of Wines!
A week we are focusing on Grab Apple's wine region, the Marboro Valley.
This of course encompasses the entire Johnson families ranch and Hickock Creek.
We've had a chance to speak with Rodney Favlubey, our local wine expert on what makes the Marbro
Valley such a perfect place to make the local wine varietal Blueberry Bubbly.
These local wine rees are built on top of land that was previously used to store old
cars and buses, airplanes involved in crashes, all kinds of vehicles.
That is what makes this place so special.
Each time you sip a crab apple, blueberry, bubbly,
you can taste a hint of hydraulic fluid
and notes of rubber with the occasional piece of glass
as a complement to the pleasure overtones
from the seats of the old cars.
We have the occasional wild guinea pig
that is stuck inside the picking process
and we keep it in the barrel
for that aftertaste that we are so well known for.
We only use old oil plastic barrels for the fermenting process and this allows us to turn
the berries into boobly in less than one week.
I venture to say that if you put our blueberry boobly up against any other boobly from around
the world, you will know which one is ours within moments.
We also advise that people take a technical shot before and after the tasting,
it is so very special the entire process.
Ah, thank you Rodney, so sophisticated.
Blueberry, blue blaze, of course, exclusively available at Henry's,
Slogan Chug, ammo and wine depot on Central Avenue.
Crab Apple, such a wonderful place to live. We'll return after this commercial break.
On this episode of the commercial break.
Anywhere, anybody, somewhere in this, you know, 100 by 100 foot
fucking box to get two coronavirus tests in a bag for me to take home,
right?
And she's like, I don't know, I don't know,
I don't even know what you ordered,
you haven't even pressed the button that you're here.
And I was like, well, I'm here,
I'm pressing the button in front of you
by saying I'm here.
And it's not that that was easy, but.
No, that's a fucking shit storm of trouble.
But I felt like enough time is passed by.
I feel like enough time is passed by, it's okay to go back.
Since you guys get so upset when I redo the same thing. Yeah, I
Wish that we could just do Frankie B for which we could do Frankie B once a month because clearly
Yeah, we already have fireside Fridays and then I can talk on Tuesdays. We try something new every day It's like every episode we're coming up with some new shit that we never follow through on
That tells you that I know entirely too much about the drug game.
When I say the following words, I need just a teen or...
And then you go, you bitch!
I'm gonna start doing this at my half. Let's surround my kid. Boo-wee-woo!
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
It's one episode of the commercial break!
We got Brian Green. This is Kristen Houdley and Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween!
And Happy Halloween coming up right around the corner
whatever that is.
What is that September 1st or something there's that?
Who cares, who's counting?
Who's counting since 2021?
Who's counting?
What day is it?
I have no fucking clue, don't care.
Still stuck in the house wearing a mask
and you know all of them are good shit.
And we're headed right back to where we all,
where it all began.
Right back, right back to it.
Congratulations everybody
The sliver slope of Crown best to you Chrissy
Best to you Brian best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of the commercial break
Speaking of COVID. I wanted to tell you a story
Speaking of coronavirus. I'm gonna tell you a story
So my kids have been sick for like two weeks, right? And after a week, we, well actually,
after like three, but there was no fever involved.
No fever involved, right?
So we called the doctor the first night
and she said, not COVID, not coronavirus,
which is not even concerned about it.
It's not even an issue.
They probably just have the regular common cold
that's going around, you know, this time of year.
And we said, okay, she said, call us,
if it lasts more than a week and a half,
or they have a breakout fever like all the sudden
They get a fever so they still remain sick after a week and a half but no fever so we call them she says bring them on in
We'll check them out. Yeah, they bring them on in they do a coronavirus test
Nata they say run-of-the-mill sinus infection cold type thing and there's an ear infection involved
So let's get them on some antibiotics. Yes, they do the antibiotics for two or three days and then all of a sudden, not a nowhere,
my son gets a fever, right?
And we're like, oh shit.
And I just got back from Nashville.
Yeah.
So now we call them and they say, okay, now it's time
to bring them in.
It's a COVID appointment.
So we want you to take some protocols.
We want you to follow as you get into the office.
And we're like, fucking shit, man.
And I'm kicking myself in the nuts.
No.
You know, I went to go because I got all excited about it. Yeah, and was Mark Cuban, fucking shit man, and I'm kicking myself in the nuts because I'm like, you know, I went to go
because I got all excited about it.
Yeah, it was Mark Cuban worth all of this, right?
If my son, now I'm like, worst case scenario,
my head is flying off my shoulders, right?
Asters are calm down, it's not coronavirus,
and I'm like, how do we know it's not coronavirus?
Like clearly, it's probably coronavirus, right?
Clearly.
So I can't wait till the next morning to find answers.
So I decide that I heard that Walgreens now has an at home test that you can go and get,
right?
And so here's what I do, and I want to say this about Walgreens, I want to say it out loud.
I order on their app, I order to coronavirus tests at a location where they say they are
in stock.
I drive 15 minutes to 20 minutes to the location.
I get the email that it's ready,
but I don't see anywhere where it says click
for curbside pickup or phone number or anything.
So I'm wearing a mask.
I'm not sick.
I'm not symptomatic, but I'm wearing the mask
and I go inside and I say,
I find a person who looks like a manager type.
And I say, hey, I ordered some coronavirus tests online.
Where exactly would I pick those up
or alert somebody to my presence, right?
Says it's ready.
I'll alert someone to my presence.
How am I supposed to know what you ordered,
just because you walked in the store?
And I was like, well, I ordered it,
so I figured that it came to the store.
No, that's not how it works.
You have to press the button that you're here,
and only then do I know what you ordered and that you're here.
And I was like, wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Coming in hot here.
Coming in hot, right?
And so I'm thinking to myself, okay,
this is not the first time in my life.
I've dealt with people who are a little fussy, right?
Let me just take a deep breath here
and call on my Buddhist ways and say,
the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah, I go, no, I go, hey, I don't know.
I didn't see that on the email as an option.
I'm sorry that I didn't follow process or procedures here.
Yeah.
The last name is green.
Call us a rules Brian Green.
Yeah, you can't just walk into the star
and expect to know what you want, Brian Green.
Who are you?
King of Walgreens?
You can't break the rules.
So she says, no, not the way it works.
You have to let us know you're here and then only then would we ever know that what you're
supposed to get.
And she was like, total off the hook, off the chain.
Oh, bad day.
And now I'm like, well, how am I supposed to know that
when it's not on the email?
Is it possible in your world, anywhere,
anybody, somewhere in this 100 by 100 foot fucking box
to get two coronavirus tests in a bag for me to take home?
Right?
And she's like, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't even know what you ordered.
You haven't even pressed the button that you're here.
And I was like, well, I'm here.
I'm pressing the button in front of you.
Yes.
By saying, I'm here.
And it's not that that was easy, button.
No, that's a fucking shit storm of trouble.
So she storms off, yelling and screaming the entire way.
Wow.
Now he's the goddamn king of all greens.
He just thinks everybody's supposed to stop and do what he needs him to do.
Blah, blah, blah.
So another gentleman comes over and he says, I'm sorry.
What exactly is going on?
And I'm like, I ordered to coronavirus tests online.
You, or somebody at your corporate offices, or an email system, or something, alerted me that they were ready and that's all I'm doing is when I'm walking in to see if I can
pick them up and he's like oh actually we're out of cronus fire so great and I'm like oh my god
you got to be fucking kidding me and he goes but let me cancel the order for you and then I'll
reorder them at the store down the street. Fine, thank you, appreciate it.
He reordered something, he says,
okay, you can go pick them up at the one at wherever.
And then I checked the receipt,
so it comes by, your order is ready.
And I look, it is a fucking Walgreens in Johnson City,
Tennessee.
What?
Yes, I am so fucking livid right now.
I now spend an hour in the car looking for two
coronavirus tests that I ordered online
when they were told me twice it was supposed to pick it up.
So finally I got the right store, I ordered it online.
They alerted me that it was there to pick up.
And when I got there to pick them up,
they weren't ready, even though they alerted me
that they're ready.
So I said, you know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna pick two coronavirus tests up.
You're gonna cancel the order for me. I'm gonna go pay for them up there and we're just gonna call it a day, right? Which me that they're ready. So I said, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna pick two coronavirus tests up. You're gonna cancel the order for me.
I'm gonna go pay for them up there
and we're just gonna call it a day, right?
Which is exactly what I did.
And when I went to check out, I got a text message
that says, please pick up your order at Walgreens now.
And some lady comes running after I'd paid.
She comes running up and she goes,
here's your test, I just filled the order.
And I'm like, you know what?
Actually, I'll just take all four of them things.
I gotta get the fuck outta here, out of your fucking world.
Thanks, Walgreens, for ruining my day.
One of your managers at location is a total hoo-ha.
That girl was out of control.
That lady was like the antithesis of customer service.
As she was pissed, she could've just said, you know,
ah, I mean, she could've just been like, whatever,
I'm gonna get it.
Just be like the, all the regular, yeah.
Be like all the regular employees
that every other customer service
and just look at me with a shitty eating grin
and then go get the work done.
I know what it's like, I've been there before.
I worked at McDonald's for God's sake.
You think people like you when you work at McDonald's?
Now they fucking hate you.
You're the fucking scum of the earth.
TCPpodcast.com is where you go.
You can read more about Chrissy and I.
Find all the show notes, listen to all the audio,
watch all the video and connect with us.
YouTube.com slash the Delcommercial listen to all the audio, watch all the video, and connect with us, youtube.com slash the commercial break
or at the commercial break on Instagram.
If you'd like to be entered into our next scavenger
like contest, all you have to do is go to youtube.com,
slash the commercial break, hit the subscribe button,
watch every episode from number 85 on,
and look for clues, right?
Those clues down, I'm gonna ask a question
an episode number 100, and if you can answer that question,
you'll email us, you'll be entered into win
our next grand prize.
It was $500 in cash last time.
What will it be this time?
You'll just have to wait and find out.
We'll probably let you on episode,
we'll let you know on episode number 100.
And while we're at it, talking about episode number 100,
we'd like you to be a part of episode
part in the pain.
We're gonna have a party.
I Brian, it's your mom.
Maybe my mom will even show up.
You never know.
We're gonna have special guests.
We're gonna have special guests.
We're gonna have contests.
We're gonna review a few of our favorite and your favorite segments.
Yes.
From the last 100 episodes, if you'd like to be a part of it favorite and your favorite segments from the last 100 episodes
If you'd like to be a part of it
We would love to have you how you gonna do that on fire side chat
So if you have an iPhone go and download fire side chat
You do have to be approved still to get into the application
It's a little bit of a process takes like a day or two so I suggest you go do it now
Downloaded in the app store become a part of fire side find Chr, find Chrissy or I, Brian Green, or Chrissy Brandsford, B-R-A-N-S-F-O-R-D,
find Chrissy Brandsford, follow us, and then you get the notification when we schedule the room for the hundredth episode.
Yeah.
Make sure you make sure you make sure you in your mind, you have which segment or bit or episode is your favorite,
because what we're going to do is we're going to take some of those clips and we're gonna embed them in the show.
You have spoken.
The audience has spoken about our best of shows.
The people have spoken.
People have spoken about our best of shows
and they have said, go fuck yourself.
They're like, I don't like those.
All of our episodes, every single one of them,
every single one, almost without exception,
gets 85% of it gets listened to.
Yeah.
And now remember, there's at least two and a half minutes
of outro music, so I figure it's really more like 90 or 92%
of the content that they're listening to.
I figure when I start talking, like wrapping it up,
they kind of turn it off.
Yeah.
Every single one of them, except for the best of episodes,
and we've had three of them, Frankie B and two during Christmas time,
and they have less than 30% listen to right people who are like,
no, not gonna listen to that shit, they're like, I'm surprised to listen people were like, no, not to go listen to that shit.
I'm surprised to listen to it once if I'm just being honest with it.
I have to say I don't always listen to our episodes because I live them.
Yeah, okay fair enough.
But I remember listening to the best of episodes and I really love them.
Yeah, I have never spent so much time on an episode as I did on those two episodes.
Yeah, he's spent hours and hours.
Hours, days and days, listening to every bit
and writing it down and taking notes
and people were emailing me and Gustavo and Astrid
and a bunch of people were involved
and letting me know the best of clips
that I should put in there.
And I literally put,
well, I think we're on episode numbers,
like, I don't know, maybe 42 at the time.
So I literally put 42 clips together and talk them up
and talk them out every single one of them
and no one gave a shit.
People hated them.
Can't believe it.
I'm gonna blame it on the time of year
because it was Christmas.
I'm gonna blame it on our miserable listeners.
We just don't like us very much.
I'm gonna blame it on hate listening.
That's what it is.
Hate listening.
We know people hate watch on YouTube,
but I'm sure people hate listening too.
Anyway, go to FireSide app and download it
and make sure you become a part of the program.
470-5848-449 is where you can leave us a text message
or a voicemail.
If you leave us a voicemail, please include the phrase
best to you because then we can put you in the show.
Yeah.
And we're taking phone calls now during certain episodes.
So, you know, text message us, let us know you want to be a part of the show. Let us know
which question you want to ask or which you want to get involved in. And we'll do it.
Okay. It's been 90 episodes, almost 90 episodes. Oh my gosh. Since we, wow, we very rarely
revisit a topic, except for Frankie B and then a couple of like the monster type shows.
Yes. Okay. But very rarely after we kind of wrap up whatever it is we're doing with whatever
particular subject matter.
You know, you'll notice it comes in EBS and flows.
Like sometimes Brian is talking about sex for five episodes.
He's talking about monsters for couples.
There are those.
Yeah, and then you know strange addictions and people who marry things.
And you'll notice that it kind of goes in EBS and flows.
That's the way it is because our shows are rather short.
And sometimes I have a lot of content to get through.
So we'll record a couple episodes at a time talking about
the same subject. But very rarely do we go back to the well.
And we've dug a lot of graves on this show.
We have dug a lot of digging up bones.
They're digging up bones.
They're going up bones. And so one of the things that we never went back to,
the people said they really, really liked,
was our fourth or fifth episode called Shamalama Ding Dong,
where we talked about televangelists.
Yes, that removed her.
Which I think the content was probably more funny
than the actual like us being funny,
but it was hilarious.
We talked about all kind of televangelists.
We had a bunch of clips. That was actually probably our first show
where we embedded clips.
I think so.
Nice.
Yeah, I do think so.
And after 90 episodes, or so, 90 or so episodes.
You were a little baby and you were crying.
I was a little baby podcaster.
And you were a baby.
Baby, baby.
Or baby girl leading.
Making your first steps into podcast.
It's you. I'm betting. I'm facking myself. or baby girl leading. Making your first steps into podcast. Face to you, embedding.
Perfect yourself.
Ha ha ha.
I wanna talk about your squintin' stuff.
Ha ha ha ha.
I need a baby squintin' stuff.
Oh, a little baby squintin' stuff.
But I felt like enough time has passed by.
That's why.
I feel like enough time is passed by. That's why. I feel like enough time has passed by two years.
I feel like enough time has passed by that it's okay to go back. Since you guys get so upset when I redo the same thing.
I wish that we could just do Frankie B.
Wish we could do Frankie B once a month.
Because clearly.
We should have like Frankie B Fridays.
Yeah, well, we already have fireside Fridays and then like you know, talk on Tuesdays.
We try something new every day. It's like every episode we're coming up with some new shit
that will never follow through on. But I felt like time had passed. It was time to go back
to the well and talk about preachers. Now I have found one gentleman and one gentleman only
that I become fascinated with. There's about 38 minutes of one particular sermon
from a guy that has just started televangelizing.
He's a baby.
He's a baby little evangelist.
He's a baby evangelist.
He is just a brand new.
He just smacked his butt.
I mean, he is just a little, and it's clear
that that's what's going on.
Right?
Now, there's about 38 minutes.
I just recently took the time to edit that.
And I'd like to get into it with the baby televangelist.
Are you ready?
I believe so.
Don't know his name.
Don't know where he's from.
Don't really get shit.
Praise me.
Praise the Lord.
Well, he bullied.
We'll hear all about it now.
Shina da da da haya.
Shina da da da haya. Da da da da da. Anybody who starts off with the tongue of the Lord it now.
Anybody who starts off with the tongue of the Lord is a full shit in my opinion.
So there you go.
I forgot my message.
Hey Bob, little help here.
Q cards
Listen to that Chrissy
But that's a sound that's familiar to you
That's the sound I make in the sweet sweet throws above
I forgot my message I go start sex now. All through.
How is my son would say?
All done.
All gone.
You must be born again, John 3 and 3.
Very, very high saying to thee.
John 3 and 3, worthy, worthy.
Early, early.
Early, early, early.
What is that?
Wo-le-bo-le.
Wo-le-bo-le.
Wo-le-bo-le. Wo-le-bo-le. What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that?
What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? What is that? but revelations 3 and 16 so then recalls the heart Luke Warren neither covered
or hot I was spewed the out of my mouth. He said Luke Warren or hot I'll spew it
right out of my mouth. This is my kind of preacher. Yeah hot guy. I'm getting into it.
Lowering the God. I have experienced these things. The devil lied to me. He told me I could not have
what the Lord was going to give me. The devil lied to me. He told me I was the only one.
He was wrong. I caught him with Bob last night. The Lord called me in the preach about two years ago.
The Lord called me into preets about two years ago. You would think he would take a moment to practice.
He's ramping up.
He sees in the backstage.
He's in the minor league.
He's in the minor league.
He's just kidding.
Two years ago he was just getting around.
Two years ago he was just getting around.
Two years ago he was just getting around.
Two years ago he was just getting around.
Two years ago he was just getting around.
Two years ago he was just getting around.
Two years ago he was just getting around.
Two years ago he was just getting around.
Two years ago he was just getting around. Two years ago he was just getting around. Two years ago he was just getting around. Two years ago he was just getting around. You know, I was just a long night at the office you wake up next to the day. I did rock on it. And jail. Not your pants. And I couldn't
hardly accept it because I was too busy doing the things out in the world. I like the way
this guy is just a very, he's a simple man. He's trying to turn over, explain things.
He's just letting you know that God called me to preach, but I was too busy doing things
out there in the world. You know, bring it.
Yeah, sinning lots of sinning.
Sinning.
Me and Satan was behind me.
When Satan's behind you.
He's gonna plant his seed.
If you know what I mean.
I'll give him a bottle.
Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Hi.
Can you hear us?
Hello. Brian, Chrissy. Hello Can you hear us? Hello?
Brian, Chrissy?
Over to God, y'all be with me because I'm gonna shut that into the height.
Whooo! I said I'm gonna be!
Oh God, won't speed up the beat! Hello Leo!
Whooo!
Over to God!
Oh, wait, it sounds like the Yahoo!
The Yahoo Monster!
Whooo!
I just like the Yahoo!
It's probably just this preacher high on something run around the was Virginia
Like this good thing behind me. What mouth?
Give it to me. Get back behind me
Give behind me for what?
Hey, Mrs. Is it not I want you to plant that seed
I said I want you to plant that seed
Why not see behind me?
Get it get it. Y to plant that seed
Get it. Yeah, man plant that seed hard rock hard cop
Plant your seed go plant your seed
Glory be glory be look at that seed
You spilled some seed all over his back.
You should have put that seed right in this crack.
Glory be.
Glory be.
Glory be. Glory be. Glory be. Glory be. Glory be. the glory of God, you gotta fact that sea, Oh, shut it into the high, you gotta face past that
root, Satan get the
behind me.
Get the behind me,
a plant that root.
You say, give me that
tree trunk, Satan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know what you
working with, Satan.
And I want you to give
a hand me a plant that
trunk, plant that root.
Give me that seed.
Give me that seed.
Give me a hand, man. You got a John 3 and 16 to that flash.
Glaciers.
Glaciers.
Glacials through.
What you had don't know is that Chris,
you know, I actually listened to a good chunk of this.
And earlier in the sermon,
he's getting warmed up now.
You missed the part where he, for hours,
he just went on and on about nothing. But what he, he was cloting strips. He's got a up now. You missed the part where he, for hours, he just went on and on about nothing.
But what he, he was clodic-
He's never got a message like three times.
Yeah, he forgot his message three times.
He had to talk to himself a couple times.
And he said glacial, three, 16 glacial, glaciers.
What's that all about?
What's that C?
Say, get deep behind me.
Say, what are you talking about, preacher?
Yeah, by the way, what are you talking about
preacher? Satan come against me in a way, he said I could, he said I could not play my
ties. He said I'm a trouble connecting sentences here, I think he said Satan came behind me
and told me I was having trouble playing my tides. I have a bunch of money to the jug dealer.
Yeah.
And Satan said, don't worry about it.
You know what the tide this week?
I'll pay my tides like I would give like on a Sunday I would give like $2.
I'd make $250.
I'd give $2.
The bottle says give 10%.
My next check I'm going to try to give 20%.% dude if you give 20% of 250 dollars so the church
You're fucking moron you're giving 50 of those harder in dollars. You're making 250 bucks
You that's a lit you can't live on 250 bucks on a paycheck unless you get paid every day
Maybe you can pay it every day. I don't know. I don't know your personal financial situation
Satan's behind you. It's distracting me. With this tree trunk going to seed.
Lower the God.
How low you the Lord of bless you.
I said the Lord of bless you.
I said the Lord of bless you.
Shabda da da da da da da.
The higher I said the Lord of bless you.
If you give, if you give unto him.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah.
I said the Lord of bless you.
I said the Lord of bless you. Lord I said the Lord, I bless you.
Lord, with his tree trunk right behind me,
plant this seed.
Give that money, give that money.
Where's our great gate, man, we need him.
Yaman, that's the funniest thing.
Glory to God, hallelujah.
Don't think that the spirit won't be with you.
Oh, hallelujah, you, hallelujah! Don't think that the spirit won't be with you. Oh, hallelujah!
You got a hallelujah!
And next up on the Daga Bridge of Bob!
You got to worship the Lord with all your heart and all your soul.
Shut the door to the hall, hallelujah!
Glory to God, let the spirit come down and the unity!
I said the unity.
Let us, let's stand down.
Let's come down in the room.
When Jesus come down in the unitarred, I said a unitarred.
I said a unitarred and show us all his tree trunk, his massive tree trunk.
Look at that dick.
A unitarred.
That's a huge song!
So much fun with these preachers go crazy.
Glory to God!
She's the one who's the highest!
For God loves you!
Like a Lord, and she do not understand!
But it sounds like a song, Fred Lyark, for the song.
Like a Lord, and you do not understand! Yeah! We now take a moment to like a song for a lyric for the song. Like a love that you do not understand.
Yeah.
We now take a moment to sing song,
Eagla, please open up your songbook,
to page number four.
For Eagla,
and he will raise you up on Eagla's wings.
Make your blood with love for the Lord.
Make it def fly like the sun
War in the glory of the Lord
Oh, glory of the Lord
Unit, I said Unit, I said Unit
It's a Lord, she is the Lord of the higher
She is the Master of the higher
If you find pleasures in the world,
whether it be sex, whether it be drugs.
Ha ha ha, drugs.
I'm looking at you, cousin man, drugs. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Bob makes that mountain-do mountain-mess
Get me a Tina for later finger dip finger dip
Shatter the praise me. Praise be the Lord. Oh God John 3 and 13
Selenow finger dip finger dip finger dip
13 and let now finger dip finger dip finger dip
Whether it be alcohol glory to God. I want to tell you a sight that will let you
And you will sing you to hell
a lot of you
He's killing crazy
Jokes six. Yeah, he's making a point yeah that's right
emphasize Roman bathhouse heard glory holes quicker than anything the Satan will blind you and you will not understand it's saying what you want in your heart
we're protective covering. He was coming
this year in a way that you do not
understand. So what are you talking
about preacher? I said, I know what
I'm talking about. Woo. What do you
like that? Woo. And I think I think
now he just realizes that if he just
yells at the crowd, they were
spot. They don't know what he's
saying either. He said, what are you
talking about preacher? I don't know what he's saying either. He said what are you talking about preacher? I don't know
Somebody give me some help up here. Whoo
Satan lied to me
Satan lied to me. He almost destroyed me
Lower the god
Okay, ready you ready for part number two. Okay. Now he's gotten warmed up
Oh, that was the warm up. That was the warm up.
Well, we cut out the 18 minutes of warm up.
Right, right.
We just did an entire program of out
that'll never see the light of the day
because it's rather boring.
But now he continues on with, this is, remember,
this is the first time preaching.
He's found his group.
He now he knows of a yell.
Preacher got his group back.
That's right.
He's got Satan behind him.
Pumping in the tree trunk, the seed's gonna be a tree trunk. That's right. He's got Satan behind him. Pumping in the tree trunk.
The seed's going to be a tree trunk.
Here we go.
In now.
When your servant God Lord gives you what?
It gives you peace.
The Lord gives you what?
It gives you, I don't know, a hazy, a juice box, a free cracker, peanut butter and jelly
sandwich.
It gives you joy.
It gives you whoop, they give you happiness.
I'm telling you, this is the gift.
They give you whoop whoop whoop whoop.
They give you that.
You know the guys at the ballpark were selling the hot dogs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that's his day job.
Hot dogs, hot dogs in the ballpark.
Hot dogs.
Get, get, get,, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you,
get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, get you, That's where to go. That's where he goes. And he goes, Mountain Monster Hunters. We're in this crowd.
They'd be like, it's the most Virginia in Yahoo!
What about the Hala?
Yippee!
That's exactly the noise.
That was.
That was.
That was.
That's what that one monster was making.
He was like, yippee-yippee!
It's just some preacher running around practicing for Sunday.
It's just baby preachers being born in the Hala That's where they all born in the hall. You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You poop.
You're really good at that.
I know.
You poop.
You poop.
I said, I know. I said, I know. I know. I said, I know. I know. Really good at that
I said that was I said that was
I will get you drugs I will get you
You can buy a hot no
Imagine this kind of bed you I'm coming on your face. Turn over, I can tap that out.
Do your battalions, your bathroom.
I'll clean you up! Yip-yoo! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- Sometimes I'm like that on the course of break. I'm like, what do I follow up the hot dog stand guy with?
Um, um, I just want dinner.
When you're running from the,
when you're in front of the law,
it's running.
Yeah, he's like, I've gotten the stories across the
of my head.
Am I at the bar church?
I can't remember.
I'm pretty drunk though.
I'm like, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
Sock.
Pretty hammered.
Oh, the devil plays tricks with you.
Yes, he does.
What am I talking about?
I say the devil plays tricks with you. Glory to God.
You're so miserable.
Glory to God.
Now one time I went home and Jamie was sitting there on the sofa table.
The sofa table.
And I owed Jamie $600.
And I said I snorted all the doors.
So the table. How, the roof of table.
How about a couple hot dogs?
I was rather not bringing up but I couldn't hold his seat then.
I hate to bring it up.
I was blind drunk and just got home from driving.
And there was a sofa table right there.
Jamie was on it. I can barely see.
I said, where did we get this sofa table from?
I don't even know if I made this.
Is it a sofa or a table?
I hate to bring it up, but it's probably a parent to most of you.
Can I lay on this table?
I'm raging out for all. Do you mind Can I lay on this table? I'm arranging out. Do you
mind if I lay on your table? I'm gonna hit the sofa. I mean the table. It's now a
sofa table. When you live in the trailer you got to make do with small spaces. So
you have a sofa, you have a sofa and a trailer and a table. It's combined but when I walked in I said what's wrong with you I'm shit face
drugs I said by unitile I said by unitile Jimmy said why wearing that unitile I called it
in based be the god I said nothing's wrong with me said, you got a frown on your face.
I said, no, I don't.
I'm wondering what this is.
He said, he said, he got a frown on your face.
He said, you got a frown on your face.
You got a puzzled look on your face.
I said, no, that's a burn from the crack pipe.
That's just the chocolate mustache from eating ass.
I can't see.
You say I have frown or brown on my face.
I was eating Bob's ass for a little bit more of that Mountain Dew mountain myth.
Praise be.
Shut a lot of things.
Shabbat, but never,
you know, I said,
I, they can't be last Sunday.
I'm, I've lit in my hands.
I paid my ties, was wasn't much.
I mean, I really love the Lord, James.
I clocked in.
I clocked out.
What are you talking about?
Wait, you mean I gotta be good all week? Oh, I talking in tongues, but I'm pretty sure it's the drugs
Hey, he looked at me. He said you love the Lord
What what are you talking about?
I said, yeah, I love the Lord. Well you ain't well, hey look at me. He said well, have you been reading your Bible?
I said no
I said, well, have you been reading your bottle? I said, no.
Reenan, you are made of rain.
No, I thought it just seemed to have it.
Is there a television version of that?
I'll fight them.
Yeah.
It's cut out.
I cut it out.
I got my mitts dashed in here.
Yeah.
I'm sure.
I'm going to go read it right now.
I'll be back in like four days. I'm going to go take a part of the TV and put it back now. I'll be back in like four days.
I'm gonna go take apart the TV
and put it back together.
I'll be right back.
And he said, have you gone into the,
what's the call it, Joe?
The meat.
You call it the meat?
What do they call it?
The meat?
What do they call it?
The meat? Have you gotten any of that meat?
Oh.
What is he to?
I don't know what he's into.
And I'm not sure.
I spent a night in jail.
I never heard anything about the meat.
No.
Maybe luckily I never heard anything about the meat.
Yes, several jails.
I took a tour around the north side of Atlanta.
To know? And he said, you better get into the world.
Woo!
I said, why?
Why?
Gip-Joo!
You better get the word, why?
Why?
Why would I bother?
Are there words?
The words.
Why bother with words?
What I can just do this.
Gip-Joo!
Yeah!
I said, why should I'll read the word.
He let the meat, he said, because the word is the bird.
Word is the word.
And you remember that what was it?
That episode of Family Guy?
Or the entire episode? was the chicken fighting Peter.
And every time they, it was the strangest episode
that I'm sure I found extremely obnoxious,
but a lot of people think it's brilliant, right?
Where at the beginning of the episode,
I don't know, there's some family drama going on,
but then Peter says something about,
here comes that fighting cock, that fighting chicken, right?
And it's like every time, it's, they sing the song, you know, bird, bird, bird, bird, bird that fighting chicken, right? And it's like every time it's he's sing the song, you know bird bird bird bird.
Bird is the word right?
It goes this goes on for the entire episode.
It's really strange.
It's your street.
The word is the power.
Woo the word is what you stand on.
The word is the rough.
I said the word.
He's really landing into that.
Yeah, he's leading into that.
That's becoming his thing.
Yeah.
You know, I mean Howard Stern at Howard
Stern Howard Stern.
Howard Stern.
Yeah.
I'm Howard Stern.
Welcome to the Howard Storrent Show.
Howard Stern has, hey now, that's what he says is everyone.
Rich Limbaugh says, first time long time.
You know, Johnny Carson said, good night everybody.
Dave Letterman, I forgot what he did.
He threw pencils at people, right?
And this guy does, you know,
whoop whoop whoop.
He's probably thinking of himself.
I'm gonna be famous.
Whoop whoop whoop whoop.
I said the world is a rock.
I said the world is a rock. I said the word is a rock.
It's under the sheet.
You just said nothing.
How do you think?
How do you think for one minute?
When you don't read your Bible one day, you're so, so.
And then the next day, you're reading your Bible.
And then the next day, you're so, so.
And then the next day, you're reading your Bible. We got that's called manic depression man
I don't know back
You're at the strip club the next day you read your Bible next
Back up your sleep it in some strange motel room then back to reading the Bible
Kagan amen, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Can we get some weed up to the altar please? Weed emergency at the altar weed emergency at the altar
Drugs and cleanliness
Woodwork hey one of my talking about we call them today see saw Christians. That's what we call a
Hallelujah
Whoo see saw Christians
We got a see saw Christian. I said we go see saw Christians. I said we saw see
saw Christian. That's what it is. One day you're up. One day you're out. You
put your Christian in. You put your Christian out. You take the Bible out and
shake it all about you. You do theaw christian and you turn yourself around that's it
all about you going to hell right now
I feel like I'm at a canil auction
I know they're crazy I don't know how they do it.
They're just saying, like, they're saying filler words all the time.
And then they are word of God, word of God, word of God.
That's 250.
Definitely word of God, or whatever you see.
For anybody else, 250, whatever you do,
I mean, I'm praise to Jesus, praise to Jesus.
And John 3, 13, just don't praise to Jesus.
Give me the number of these.
Hallelujah.
Woo-hoo!
Woo-hoo!
Ha!
Ha!
Ha!
Okay.
The key to keeping people interested in the hoop is to make it just to have it random
noises right you can't go like you can't have that you gotta miss you
you
you
you can't do a tutorial I'm doing it right now. If you desire a pleasure like I'll tell you,
hell is your destination. Welcome to Bob's preacher, Ramon. Hell is your destination. Let
me take a ticket. Can you do it? You're going to hell going to hell man hell man hell man
spread the hell man spread the hell man
I like like my baloney sandwich with hell man
I said sit in the line again glory to God hallelujah
where the law would be with me because I didn't I got my notes all scattered apart and
It was see a thing that I had
Wait, hold on a second. Let's let's back up part. No, he said I got he goes I wish the Lord is with me because my notes are all scattered about I forgot where I was
Wait a second you actually had notes
This entire time
You are really bad at this job. Oh, this is probably why there's not a follow-up video to this
Yeah, it's his brother. Yeah, his brother was like. Yeah, he didn't make the good
Yeah, that was a lot of this yeah, you listen when you were screaming and yelling about unit cards. It was good
But I just took it too long to get warmed up
Was the users all the world more than you knew God and I saw these people coming to hand offer and
Garing our hearts to God and I about forgot my
And I forgot my Love I forgot my message
Glory to God for the Lord is gonna give me power
The overcold power
Power Graceful
Thunder God
Oh
He meant
She raw
Sheerah princess of power.
I have the power.
I loved he man.
He was so good.
I know she was hot.
Yeah, she's great.
She had like her powerful.
If you go back and you look at some of the older things, I think she actually has like
her nipples showing not like her nipples showing, but her nipples are popping out
of her people that made cartoons back then they were
I'm gonna give her a camel toe. Who cares? Yeah anatomically correct cartoons. That's what kids need
The liar I said
That's right
Glory to God that's the spirit control your life. The Holy Spirit is the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost.
I got that's the Holy Spirit is the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit. I guess. I guess. I guess.
Yeah. I guess. Not you're not taking this anywhere Bob. 10 more minutes. I. I'm gonna preach I don't know if I can make it two more
Vittance
Glory to God everybody's like
No one I'm talking about because these things last for days, you know what you know like these evangelicals
Yeah, I have friends who would go to church for five and six hours at
Catholic Mass. It's an hour on the potatoes, right?
Yeah, right on the fucking dick and if it lasted an hour or a one
I was so irritated I had to get stand up and like my dad would have to put me back down on my seat
They have that thing down to a science. It's like one hour. They know people don't want to be there more than one
But these evangelicals will go on for days. They will
speak for hours and hours and people have to sit there and you know wave their fans and
I don't know how you do it. I just don't. I mean we've been listening to six and a half
minutes. It's not Marty like. There's one unity. Some of it, some people say, well, I don't
know, preacher. I just can't serve the Lord. I just can't serve the Lord. I don't know, preacher. I just can't serve the Lord.
I just can't serve the Lord.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
He's done riding my home.
He's done, oh, glory to God.
He's done coming against my kids.
They going out and doing everything.
Well, my kids are a bunch of hoes.
They're out there with everybody.
They're doing out doing everything.
I saw my daughter at the strip club the other night.
Bob's selling.
She weighed out on the sofa table.
That's right, Bob's been selling me meth and, by the way, my son has some good meth,
if anybody needs it.
Can I get out of here?
Say, Ngueladi, buy your meth from Bob.
Buy your meth from preacher Seth.
That's all I have to say.
Just get a little plug in right there. People come up to you and they come up to me and they say preacher.
You've only been a preacher for five minutes.
He said that. He goes to the quarantine and say preacher, but it's his first preach.
Take he's never done this before. So do they, I mean, I don't know. Maybe you like,
maybe you call yourself a preacher before you're a preacher. Maybe that's how it works in these things.
Yeah, I think I just self.
A note yourself.
You can't.
There's no test or anything you don't have to go to.
It's the he's failing it.
I don't know. Maybe he's winning.
Glory to God.
They don't come.
Got my car.
I had two grand freez and brand new pours.
They don't come and get your car.
You make 250 a week and you had two grand freez and a half. That's a done come and get your cars. You make 250 a week and you had two grand frees
and a four.
Yeah, cheap skate.
You're giving two dollars under the top.
I know, I'm pretty sure it was GM
that gave it to your car.
Yeah, you had what two grand frees and a pour.
I had a pour, Satan wanted my pour,
I took it up.
Damn it.
I took my cars, gave them right to the meth dealer.
Don't know what happened. That was not happened. I realized I cars gave him right to the meth dealer. Don't know what happened
I needed God
Can I borrow $50 in the collection plate?
Right little a little tiner. I just need a little tiner wake me up. I'm playing on going about 10 more hours
I'm gonna start preaching next to it tomorrow morning. Stick with me now. What the hell? Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! I need just a teen. And then you go, you be.
I'm going to start doing this at my house, around my kid.
What do you want me to do?
What me is old enough, and she brings her friends home from college.
I'm going to do what I want. friends home from college. You do it! Hey! Uh, that's calculus, honey.
You do it!
Yup!
Yaaay!
Oh!
What?
Howdy, Ed.
Whop!
What are you talking about?
I say when you listen to Satan, he's a liar.
He's a father of lies.
Am I right?
We know. You've been saying this for 26 minutes. All right. He's a father of life. He is a father of liars
The thing about it is
is that
Satan will blind you
He will put a blindfold on you and then he will get behind you and he will come against you and he will come up on you
He will use his trunk to spread his seed
With that rock music and them drugs
I don't know why that's so funny, but it is to me anyway
I'm sure most people turn the episode off off. I'd either have only like what is he doing.
I knew Brian was gonna come up to her house at some point.
I just hope he was gonna make it better.
They're approaching one hundred.
I know they're approaching one hundred
and they're getting desperate for content.
They've been stuck in that studio for too long.
They need help.
Someone saved the Lord.
Someone saved the Lord.
Happy New Year. I've been saying, have a knee or what?
I love it.
Someone send the Lord.
And you don't even know it.
Right?
I said Satan will blind you.
And you won't even know it.
Praise God, how to lose you.
Some of the people say, well, less God, how do I lose you? Some of the people say, well, bless God, I went over and I drunk this.
I was with this girl. I'm so happy.
Woo! I'm so happy. Why are you happy for?
Hell, there's your destination.
So many people come in and say, I fucked your sister. I don't know what you
had drinks, felt not long with your mother and I slept with your daughter. And I said,
what you have before? Hell is your destination. He's basically saying that if you fall in love,
else your destination.
Wow, these are hardcore crystal conservatives.
Yeah, oh yeah.
Woo!
I said, hey, is your destination?
If you don't turn it over to the Lord,
whoo, won't be under you.
Whoa, be under you.
Whoa.
Best to you and who will be under you.
And who will be under you?
That's hard to say. That's going best to you and will be unto you. That's hard to say.
That's going best to you out the window.
Will be unto you and will be unto you.
Hail is your destination and also with you.
And also you. God loves you.
That was my best, my least favorite part of fucking church.
By the way, when you had to turn around to a bunch of strangers and they would go peace be with you.
And you'd go, yeah, yeah, yeah, unto you too, or whatever you say.
What would you say?
Yeah, you too.
M2 as well, or yeah.
I was, yeah, I was hoping it was a cute girl
sitting around me but never was.
It was always a small collage, you know.
Peace be with you and also with you.
Cares.
Raise you up on Eagles wings.
Raise you up,, I'm 14.
The only thing I could think about is sex.
It's this raging heart on that came out of nowhere during church
for no particular reason that I can't get rid of.
And I don't want to stand up to shake your hand.
Because then you're going to notice the tent bowl I have
in my four-year year old khakis,
and my dad still makes me wear a church.
And he will raise you up on this hard cock.
Of course they were.
Pleads were all the rage back then.
That allowed for the talent.
Yeah, allowed for the, that's right.
You should go see the tense.
How many times?
It's so true.
It's so cliche, but it's so true.
How many times I would get called up in class
and I'd be like, I know.
What you'd have to do is you'd have to take your dick
and tuck it under your belt.
You'd have to push it down, tuck it under your belt.
There's a whole forming circle.
Yeah, and then pull your shirt out, right?
But then in Catholic school,
they tell you to always have your shirt tucked in.
So you tuck your shirt in, Mr. Green.
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not gonna get it.
Back to go to the bathroom.
I'll be back.
Because when you're 13, you cannot control your cock. That's a mind of its own. Yeah, really. I'm still having trouble
but I mean
At least it's not so connected to my brain anymore
God what hey God was usually he will
Man Kenny Florida sit behind me. He I work with him and
Bless God. He loves God all his heart.
Woo, know where they got.
He's a man of God, I'm truly believing.
Kenny, Kenny sits right behind me at work.
He's a man of God, I truly believe it.
But we were tongue kissing on the break room.
God will use you, yes he will.
Right Kenny?
Oh man Kenny, you got a bubble bud. I just
Yeah, so cute Kenny
Put your balls on the chin Kenny please
Gotta get name it. And we're just going to the DOS farmhouse.
Just some good food.
He said, we're going to strip clothes.
They have great buffet.
That's guy.
Yeah.
He is like, he is the end of the day.
He is.
His guy is so dumb.
He just keeps walking into it.
And then he has to back out.
And so when you serve Satan, it's a ton of fun.
I meant when you served the Lord.
I said, Satan, get behind me.
I said, Satan, get behind me.
I meant Jesus.
I meant Jesus.
We went to the strip club.
The food was great.
Did I say that?
I love you.
You be with me.
That's me reversing my words. You can. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. You will. like, well, you know, sometimes I thought the only thing that you do, I'm saying what I
was saying.
This floor guy, he's in all the underground.
Bob, you don't have to stick that tip in your mouth.
I mean, teach, I mean preach.
I mean, I don't know what I mean.
Can we go back to before I said we went to this trip club?
Can we just rewind?
He said, that's nothing. We go back to before I said we went to this trip club. We just rewind
They said that's not the only thing the two preaching wasn't it Kenny our downland the preaching was
teaching Yeah
Sharon word say when you're a Christian
You don't do like this
You don't sit there and go
Well like this. You don't sit there and go. Well, let's go. You don't say you're
a motorboat. You don't motorboat when you're a Christian. You go straight in. Straight
in. You go back to like when you're a what you're right out of the womb. You just latch on latch not motorboat. Wait wait am I Lord
Praise me the Lord I forgot what I was saying my notes are scattered all over the place. I'm trying
I'm trying I'm sorry Pam. I know I'm sleeping outside again damn
This is the last time I preach in this church.
Satan's here, fucking me up.
I was with Kenny, he's just behind me at work.
We went to the strip club and I started eating some ass.
I'd say that out loud, I don't pee you.
You're huge.
They're really good there, though.
Food's great. I'd suggest you eat the food before you eat the ass. I'm just throwing that out there. Praise me, can I get name out? What am I saying?
Jesus, age cry.
Everything guys got for me.
I'm just gonna sit here and take it.
I really don't need anything else.
Yes, you do.
Oh, I said yes, you do.
I said yes, you do.
I said yes, you do.
I said yes, you do.
I said yes, you do. I said yes, you do anything else. Yes, you do. Oh, I said yes you do. I
Said yes you do. I said yes you do you need God today more than you ever did in the Lord of God
I said you need God today more than you've ever needed him say
say
Oh, man did I finish it all man?
Oh man did I finish it all man bam's pasting me again look at that I can see it the third time this week I went to talk about God and I told this trip club story
Damon she could smell the ass on the breath Jamie Jamie Jamie's here again I'm
in trouble he wants me to get my best Bible.
Ah, yeah, yeah.
Here I go. Try to talk about John in 3 and 16 and all of a sudden I tell the
story from the
story. That's again.
Pam, I'm sorry. Praise be. I've changed my ways.
I swear I'll change.
Oh, wait you.
You guys might be saying,
what's that preacher talking about?
What's that preacher talking about?
I don't even know myself.
I was coming straight through me from Jesus Christ.
I don't know about no stroke club.
It must have been Satan.
Eating that ass through my mouth with my tongue.
I was behind you.
Satan will do those things to you.
He's the father of Liars.
See you.
Wait.
I don't want to teach that class.
I don't want to preach.
I don't want to go back to DUI school.
I don't. Does pre. I don't want to go back to DUI school. I don't. Does
this cat dark community service? Yeah, this is the
four-hour sermon. I don't want to go under mission field. What are you going to do?
Set it home. Watch TV. Do what the devil's got for you watch TV that's what I told Pam
last week when she called Miss Eaton stripper ass I said what do you want me to do sit at home
watch TV change the kids diapers that's the devil's work I gotta be out there for a reason Jesus I was just dropping my seat off
Praise be Jesus John three and 16
Glacier's three and four
Glacier's three and four said
That's show rim job anybody he sees without the Lord in her heart
I checked her heart with my mouth.
Both of them.
If you will be on who you go.
Oh my God.
Rendo's magazines, I just got for you.
Those titty magazines.
magazine.
You expect me to, how can I teach these women
if I'm not in front of them?
I can't communicate through the magazines
that the devil wants me to look at.
Oh yeah.
Glory to God.
Glory to God.
I think it's time to say that we worship God
with all our heart and all our soul.
I said, oh, our soul.
Woo!
Send it in the higher.
Woo! Woo! I said, it's time to do it! Send it in the higher! Woo!
Woo!
I said it's time to do it, we've worked it the lower,
but it's all our hearts, it's all our soul!
Woo!
Go in the car!
It's going crazy!
You know how on a firework show is?
It's like, it starts off strong!
Then you have a few bucks here and there, right?
And then all of a sudden, it's starting to...
Like the next one could be good
The next one really good. It's could be the finale. Yeah, I know they have multiple mini finales
But then they really throw everything at it. I feel like brother Bob here
It's kind of throwing everything at it
He's getting ready. He's getting ready for the finale. Oh, no, what you're talking about. Oh, yes, I do I've been there. I don't like it
I said I've been there. I don't like it I said I've been there I've been there and I don't like it. So we're the God
So let's recap
He said let's praise be the he said let's praise be Jesus because that's where we need to be and then he goes I've been there
I don't like it
I don't like it. I don't like it.
Wouldn't be.
That's what I think about it.
Yeah.
Pam won't let me do anything.
Pam, why is he getting up here?
You.
I enjoy my hot dog business at the ball.
Paise for the cash and the stripper.
That's right.
Paise the bills.
For some strippers.
Yeah.
Satan gets a behind me in a name of Jesus Christ our Lord.
The sea has been planted.
I said the sea has been planted.
Jesus is the same.
I know.
He's digging all over.
I know.
But he's had like three things he keeps going back to Jesus is but be Jesus behind me
He's using his tree to plant the seed that's right and then he tells random stories
And clearly are not a part of this service
Yeah, by the way
This sofa table
This is love and good food. This is so fatigued.
The buffet, the stir-up.
I can't even see.
Jamie one night.
I was blind.
I was blind.
I was blind, but I could feel around
and my new Jamie was there for my mith Bible.
He came looking for my mith Bible.
What?
I said a scene.
I was implanted.
You think my heart is blank.
A scene has implanted.
You think my heart is playing. I see you. I'm playing it. You think behind me's right
Oh
Okay, okay, okay, we gotta save some save some for the fishes as my dad used to say
Lord praise be. Oh Lord praise be.
Praise be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hi.
Yeah.
Yeah man.
Yeah man.
Eating as man.
You did all your big doggo.
Yeah man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You want me to eat you ass.
Praise be Jesus. Yeah. Yeah man. I Want me to eat jazz praise me Jesus Yeah, I'm on oh
I'm sorry I meant to play never had one lesson never had one lesson
Yeah, can't understand the Jackie weaver. Oh good old Jackie weaver
Where did you go Jackie weaver?
Where are you when we need you Jackie weaver?
Jackie weaver Jackie mom Jackie Jackie mom
All right, we're getting delirious. Yes, we are. It's been a long day here at the DCV Studios.
Yeah, that was good.
Hey, listen, every preacher starts somewhere.
Yes.
By the way, I've got 17 more minutes of that.
And he gets crazier as time goes on.
So maybe I'll, I'll, I'll trunk you.
He's in delirious.
Yeah, he's delirious.
Oh, God.
I can't imagine standing up there and talking about the same two things over and over again.
I mean, he really didn't have much to say.
The nuggets he was throwing in was the sofa table.
Yes.
The strip club with good food.
Good food.
Uh, Jamie was thrown in there.
Yeah, Jamie in the sofa table.
Who doesn't have a sofa table?
I mean, I'm pretty sure he met like a side table.
It's all right.
He must have.
It was blind draw. It was blind draw. Couldn't see straight. I'm pretty sure he met like a side table. Yeah, right? He must have.
He was blind, Ron.
He was blind, or couldn't see straight.
Couldn't see.
I don't want to talk about it, but I'm going to tell you about it.
Yeah.
He said, I just went to church last week.
I mean, I don't want to do anything.
Who cares about shit face now?
Would you have a Bible?
Are you reading it?
No, I'm going to do that.
Read the word.
Maybe one. If I can do one, I'm being a good. I'm a seed. I don that read the word? Maybe one if I can do one I think I'm good. I don't need the word. I've been planting the seed all over town
Just asked Lucinda down at gravy trains chuck and fuck
Gravy Gary's chuck and fuck what would we Gary's chuckin fuck that is a bit right there
Oh get yourself some slop
while you pressure your cock it's the chuckin fuck
on root 75
that's right right now so crab apples finest dinner and tweez Dean at dinner, do we?
All right, well we'll get back to the chuck and fuck later. Yeah fire side is where you're gonna find our
Fire side is not
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Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
If only Fallon was here now.
What would she say?
What would Fallon say?
She wouldn't approve.
I'm almost carrying it.
That's why this is not that a Fireside episode.
But if you'd like to join us on a Fireside episode,
all you have to do is go download the Fireside Chat app
that is available in the App Store for iPhone only right now,
but soon coming to Android, so fret not.
It takes a day or two to get approved on that app too,
so if you'd like to be part of our 100th episode,
we'll let you know with plenty of time before we record.
And we'd love to have you.
We're gonna have an audience, we'll probably bring some people up.
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Go download that fireside out.
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Let us know what your favorite segment
or bit from the last 100 or so episodes has been.
And we may include it in our 100th show episode,
which is gonna be a big blow out
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All your favorite guests.
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And that'll be just here very shortly.
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So go to Fireside, Brian Green,
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or go to Instagram at the commercial break.
And then we'll give you plenty of warning
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Okay, there you go, that makes sense.
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Best of you, Brian.
Best of you out there in the podcast universe, and we must say until next time, bye!
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co-hosted by Chrissy Hothley, with additional content provided by Tina Carnot. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.
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