The Commercial Break - Hangin' Ball Air!
Episode Date: March 1, 2023Nothing like hanging a little BA on a first date! The Love Connection provides again, giving Bryan & Krissy plenty of bare ass, ball air, and G-strings to discuss. Bryan’s new TLC obsession: Extrem...e Sisters These women take being twins way too seriously They have a shared boyfriend who must have sex with them together, 4 pumps a pop! Marlon update: they’re done! Once you hit that 9 month mark, things start to change... TCB gets back into The Love Connection This guy looks like a serial killer! A BOGO dinner coupon…good for a first date? Guy likes to be the center of attention Chuck’s got some zingers! Overnight camping on the first date? Unhinged! Worse yet, Guy breaks out the G-string! Bryan & Krissy find out what 'hanging BA' means This first date is full of wild antics. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Does he look up at you when he goes down on you?
Does it want to improve all?
Yes.
Am I doing it okay?
Am I doing it okay?
It's gonna hate that shut up and lick.
On this episode of The Commercial Break,
I'll tell you what's going on.
My dick was hard.
You think I'm lying?
You think I'm lying?
I took a lot of photographs.
Here's my dick at the camping trip. Here's my dick on Catalina Island. Here's me
blowing ball air people's way. Here's me hanging some more B.A.s in the
morning. Here's me on top of my car. Do it some yoga hanging some B.A. Here's me making coffee
with my erected. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.
The Hurfongs with the Hurfongs!
Ah yeah, Katsugans, welcome back to the Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and co-host Kristen Joy.
Totally a bestie of your, Chris.
And that's you Brian.
And bestie you, I'll be there on the podcast universe.
Of course you haven't seen the show, but I'm going to ask you anyway.
Have you seen the show extreme sisters?
On TLC. Oh my god. So those of you that aren't aware I'm a twin, but I'm a fraternal twin, but I'm still in the category of twin
And it's still a cool thing, you know, we don't have that same shared experience that a lot of twins do
Yeah, your brains are yeah, man. It's weird. Like, we dated identical twins in high school.
I did.
I've known identical twins, and they literally
are the same person finishing each other sentences.
And without a, a men's amount of time
spent with identical twins, it's hard to tell them apart.
It's very hard.
And they really do finish each other's sentences,
which is really strange.
Well, TLC being the shit show channel that it is, carrying all my favorite local programming.
I know, at first when you said many people don't know this, but I was thought you were going to say,
I'm a TLC addict.
Oh, no, everybody knows that.
Okay.
Yeah, I think it's in our Wikipedia page.
We don't have Wikipedia page.
So many make us a Wikipedia page.
You make us a Wikipedia page, and I'm sending you all the 21 EPM stickers you'd like. And make sure you mention that I'm a TLC fan.
So this extreme sister basically follows a number of different identical twins, and in
one case, triplets and their lives together as adult identical twins that are the kind
that finish each other's sentences.
Right.
And inevitably this causes problems with relationships.
Because the sisters, all these sisters, they cannot be apart for one half a fucking second,
or they're crazy.
And they take it to the absolute extreme.
Kevin and I could be apart for three years.
And as long as we got text messages every once in a while and a funny meme about something related to
a penis, we'll be good. But these girls, because that's what they are, they're all girls
on the show. These girls are absolutely loony-tony, goboony. I mean, I don't even know how to
explain some of the nonsense that goes on here. Let me give you a brief example. One of the twin sisters, she's dating a guy,
the girl hates the guy because whatever, the da da da.
One of them is like extra super crunchy.
She believes in all that shit.
The crystals, the incense, the Buddha,
the live here now, be here now, I'm here now, whatever.
All of it to the end degree.
Since they were children, she has prodded both of them.
She has prodded her sister to go into the woods
and to meditate and get good energy by...
The trees.
Completely naked.
Oh, naked.
One hundred percent naked.
Yes.
Sonning their bumholes and everything, right?
That's what they do.
They like, sonning their perin and everything, right? That's what they do. They like,
sonning their perinions.
They're touching each other's hands and waving it in a right hand
motion to get the sun God rod and shine down in them.
She also like swings a crystal around in circles.
And if it swings to the left, it's yes.
And it swings to the right.
It's no, I mean, like clearly stuff that's which way the wind.
It's just OCD. That's all it is.
Yeah. It's just which way the wind blows.
It's exactly right.
And you can even see her hand moving when she does it.
Like she's moving it around, right?
Does your husband really love you?
No.
Should you break up with him?
Yes.
It's this whole thing.
So another pair of sisters that is showcased,
they have to eat the exact same amount of food, so they always look and act the exact same.
They don't want to be a pound and ounce different.
They don't want their hair to be any different.
They don't want their makeup to be any different.
They don't want anything to be any different, including the clothing that they wear on a daily
basis. So they set their life up around doing everything
exactly the same.
They measure their food.
If they're gonna have a spoonful of tuna casserole,
they put it on a scale.
And if they get 1.26 ounces,
the other one has to eat 1.26 ounces.
Yeah, that doesn't seem healthy.
Oh my God, it's so unhealthy on that on the
grandest scale, but
they are living in an experience that most of us do not live. So I try and like think about what it would be like to have a twin brother, but I really think these these are just a lot of people
with OCD that happen to have a twin. Yes. In the most recent episodes of this show, of which I
don't watch a ton of,
just I'm not a like, it's not a 90 day fiance type thing
for me or a 600 pound life or, you know,
seven little John stents or whatever.
I don't have to obsess about every minute of the show.
I just kinda peep in everyone so long.
The girls who are sharing the food and doing the makeup
when they get their haircut, the lady has to measure
how much hair she's taking off
so she can take off the exact same amount from your lady.
It's insane. It's insane. In this show, they go looking for a boyfriend, but not
boyfriend's boyfriend. Oh, one. They're gonna handle them both. One boyfriend. And when the boyfriend pumps four times in her,
he's got a pump four times in her,
not even kidding you, not even a joke.
So it's recent.
That's all order.
It's recently.
I've been, you've fantasized about twins,
but not girls.
Yes.
But,
not twins.
Not twins.
Not twins.
Not twins.
Woo.
Pump exactly four and a half times. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Well, that.
First of all, who says I'm going to make it to four?
Second of all, what do I have to do with exactly?
If I, Friday is a spice of life.
Maybe the only way that I can tell the two apart is by their lovemaking, right?
No, but they practice that down to the T2.
You know they have. So they make love in
the same bed getting the same amount of action every time in the same exact manner. Have they done
this before? Yes, they have a boyfriend. They have one boyfriend. They have one guy and he's
out of his mind. I feel bad for the guy. I feel bad for all of them actually, but I just feel bad
for him. He just seems like he seems like a very accommodating
lug nut. You would have to be right. He's Italian or something. You know, those Italians
are into some weird shit. But anyway, so he, he's, it's been reported. I'm Italian by the
way. Yeah, I know you're Italian. That's why I'm Italian. Well, I'm not Italian, but my grandfather worked for the Italians if you know what I'm in.
So in this latest show, they need a baby. They're like in their 30s and they need a baby.
They want a baby, but they want two babies and they want the babies to be exactly a life.
Oh, man, this is going too far.
But they have to get impregnated at the exact same time.
They have to go in labor at the same time.
They have to be pregnant in the same way.
They have to be pregnant with the same sperm.
I mean, if they had their choice,
I'm sure they'd have the exact same baby.
They are essentially gonna have twins.
That aren't twins.
And if they have, what if one of them has twins?
That happens.
Well, then what if one of them has twins
and one of them has one?
Yeah. That's what they're saying.
It's gonna ruin their lives. It's gonna ruin their lives forever and ever, amen.
These girls are loony-tony, loony-tony.
And I do not know the minutia of making a baby at the exact same time.
Like you can't be inside two women at the same time.
Unless you got one of those extra big dicks we've been talking about.
Those new and pruned dicks. Yeah, even about, those new, those new improved dicks.
Yeah, even those aren't going to fit twice into a vagina.
I just like, my mind is blown at the-
How do they think that's going to happen?
I think they're going to take turkey basters.
I was going to say they're going to have to do artificial insemination and have maybe
a doctor do it at the exact same- two doctors to doctors do it at the exact same
time. That's right. Two nurses. But then whether than that, then there's two doctors. That's different. That's different. They're not going to get the same doctor or the same turkey
based. Yeah. And they're probably and they won't be able to give birth with the same doctor. So everything's going to be different. This is just
life is going to present some challenges to theses. Well, not wrong with their parents. I don't know. That's a great question.
Like if I had identical twins, which thank God I didn't, but if I had identical twins,
I would do my best to make sure they have their own individual personalities.
Exactly.
That they, they're always going to be connected.
It's like, it's like Kevin and I.
We're always going to be connected.
We're always going to have something special that almost no one else has, such a small
part of the population has. And we're always gonna be able to say,
we had a friend longer than anybody else's had a friend.
Yes.
But my mom stopped dressing us alike.
I don't know, somewhere around the age of 13.
Yeah, like it's cute, right?
When they're young.
But it's not healthy.
It's not healthy.
It's not healthy for your mental health.
It's just being a twin, quite frankly,
cause all kinds of problems as a teenager,
but this is not the point of the story.
The point of the story is, is that this guy,
this guy who's in the middle of this,
I mean, there's a lot of fish in the sea, bro.
A lot of fish in the sea, bro.
And according to our friend, John Anthony,
you can get 23 confirmed polls just walking through the mall.
So if you wanna have a threesome,
there's better ways to go about it.
This is not an enjoyable threesome.
This is a psychiatry appointment
where you have your penis out.
You know what I'm saying?
That's what's going on.
It's insane.
It's insane.
Get over it.
I just feel really bad for this guy.
That was very interesting.
You gotta watch, you gotta watch,
watch like the most recent episode,
or two episodes ago.
Streamsisters.
Streamsisters.
I'll share with you if you want me to.
So I'm probably super excited.
I'm really surprised TLC hasn't called us to advertise.
Yeah, Jeff's gonna be wonderful.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
Great.
Brian is now intruding on every inch of our lives,
including our television.
It's not enough I gotta listen to him,
yam or all the time in that fucking commercial break.
But now you're gonna watch all these television shows too.
Yes, Jeff.
Yep.
Can't this guy get another date?
I mean, that's just my question.
Can't this guy get another date?
Yeah, he needs his head checked. And so do the parents and the sisters. I wish
the maybe TLC will come to the rescue. Yeah, maybe TLC will come to the rescue. Put this
guy in 90 to 80 fiance. I agree. They should start crossbreeding these shows a little
bit. Put the extreme sisters. What's her name? I am Sean Array. I am Sean Array. I should go on. Yeah, yeah,
She's love is blind. Not the love is mine, but she should go on 90 day fiance or something like that and watch the fireworks. Really
I the seven little johnson's I am Sean Array dating some of the seven little johns. Yes, there you go
It's not the exact same situation, but it's close enough where I think they could identify with each other about on some level.
Or maybe one of the seven little Johnston's can be with the twins.
Oh god, that would be just, I just love that. I'd love it if like, whatever's name is Johnson, like, you know,
divorced to the other Johnson and went to go do the twins.
Trying to get them pregnant at the exact same time. This is TV gold.
Chris and I should run TLC.
We should.
It just reminded me of what a disaster
dating in 2020 must really be.
You know, I got an update from Marley.
I don't know how to get out of that pool.
You know, I got an update from Marley.
He's done.
He's done.
No.
Yeah, he's done. Yeah, they've been apart for about two weeks and he texted me. I think because he's done. He's done. He's done. No. Yeah, he's done.
Yeah, they've been, they've been apart for about two weeks.
Any text in me.
I think because he's bored.
I've been going on for like a year, right?
Almost, almost about nine months.
Well, and you thought, well, that nine month mark.
Yeah, that nine month mark is tough.
It's when things start to get a little stale.
Yeah, and real.
Real, like at this point, you're no longer hiding that you don't actually take a shot.
Yeah. Like, wow, she farts a lot in your sleep.
Yeah. There's a lot of little things that start to come out that were cute, maybe in
the beginning, or you didn't even know about, but now you do.
Totally agree. It's when those idiosyncrasies can start to rub on you in a different way.
What you thought was cute is just absolutely obnoxious, right?
What you thought it was like,
oh, she left her plate full of last week's Apple Pie.
Right.
Out on the couch where the dog smeared it all over.
Yeah, like she's so funny.
Yeah, she's so funny.
I'll clean it up for her.
Right, then six months later, that's, you hate it.
Six months later when there's a pile of pie on your couch
and you're like, I can ever clean that up.
Yeah.
It's not that dirty.
It is that dirty.
You nasty.
You nasty.
The fuck about of my house.
It does make sense that things are in and around
this time period.
Also too, they didn't live together.
So you know, like that can speed up or slow things down.
And then didn't she write in,
did it mean somebody that wrote in?
We think it was her.
I asked them the direct question,
he ignored it all together.
So I'm assuming it was her, sounded like her.
It sounded exactly like her, actually.
And she told almost the same stories he did,
just a little bit of twist here and there,
but the same story.
So, and that was toward the end,
but I don't think this is the end and I think this might be
that nine month, like the seven year itch kind of thing.
I think he's realizing that he can be with women his own age
and things could be different.
He doesn't have to take all the kind of bedroom abuse
that he's been taking, although he said he got,
you know, he got used to it after a while.
Like they found their groove in the bedroom.
But then now it's not cute anymore.
No, now it's not cute anymore.
It's not cute anymore.
But it was woo, it was taboo in the beginning.
To have her hold your head down in the middle of her legs
for hours at a time.
Then you got to know it and you thought I can work with this
and then now you're like, no.
Nope.
It's like the girl who used to gobble in bed.
The gobbling lasted, it was cute at first,
for like 12 seconds and then it was just,
oh no, it's just, but we've all been there and done that.
Dating is really tough.
It was tough back when I was dating.
A year ago and it's really tough now.
Gotta be.
Yeah, I can't even imagine.
I wish things were simpler.
I wish we could go back to a simpler time.
Like when the love connection was a thing.
Oh, yeah.
No.
But you had an audience too, you're doing it.
No, the second I got, the second I got that text message from Marlon, I thought to myself, wow,
dating is tough in 2023. And then I was trolling on the internet as I do.
And up popped a love
connection video. One I have not seen and I thought I saw them all but one I
have not seen and I just had to share with you. So without further ado what the
fuck Chuck. Let's get into an otherwise unseen episode unseen here on the
commercial break unseen episode of unseen here on the commercial break, unseen episode of the Love Connection.
Hey everybody out there in the podcast universe, it's time for the dreaded commercial break
inside the commercial break.
It's season number four, you've heard it all before, so let's get to it quickly.
You can text us or leave us a voicemail at 1-855-TCB-8383.
Questions, comments, concerns, or content ideas send them to 855-TCB-8383 toll free from
anywhere in the world.
Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com to listen to any of the audio, watch any of the video
or send us a message, hit the contact us button, Instagram and TikTok at the commercial break. And now YouTube videos the same day they air on the audio feed, they'll air youtube.com
slash the commercial break.
Chrissy and I are very grateful every time you choose to listen to the commercial break.
If you're ever in the market for our sponsors, products or services, all we ask is that you
use the specialized URL's or codes.
Thanks again for being part of the TCB family.
Now let's hear from those sponsors, and we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break.
DCB
I asked just plainly that he made 15 to 20 times a month.
He says that he's had his failed attractions.
Oh! Wow! Oh, okay! And, come on. He says that he's had his failed attractions. Oh.
Wow.
Oh, okay.
Okay, for those of you listening,
YouTube.com slash the commercial break.
I know I just said it on the actual commercial break,
but YouTube.com slash the commercial break.
This guy is a stereotypical mass murderer.
He doesn't even try and hide it.
He wants to look the part.
I don't even know how to describe this guy.
I don't either.
Big horned room glasses.
Huge, way too big for his face.
Yeah, longest hair, mullet type hair.
Mullet type hair, but the receding hairline goes back halfway to his head.
So he's just got the hair down to his shoulders.
Clear, he hasn't taken a bath in a couple months.
And he said fatal attraction.
Oh, he said fatal attraction.
Let's go back and listen to that
um hold on just one second i actually want to turn this up just a little bit
so we can hear it a little bit better and okay here we go
just
when he made 15 to 20 times a month he says that he's had his share of fatal
attraction type and he thinks dating would be a whole lot easier of women
didn't make men feel guilty please welcome
dating would be a whole lot easier if i didn't make men feel guilty. Please welcome Gating to be a whole lot easier if I didn't have to kill them at the end
What
Dating to be a whole lot easier of what yeah if women didn't make men feel guilty well
We're off to a rousing start here bro. What's his name?
Guy browsing start here bro what's his name uh... guy
hey guy
hey guy
hey guys oh guy
no other guy i know it's fieri
i start felly
i got
italian figures
i got
i got
i got
and i know what do you think that women do to make men feel guilty well? Well, they seem to feel that men just want to have sex with them.
They make the people of the audience.
And...
Oh, no.
Yeah.
They're people of the audience.
Oh, no.
He's right.
Correct them or no!
You feel that way?
Yeah.
Yeah, they are basically, you see, met her more verbal, but women just, every woman wants to
have sex.
It's just that they're quiet about it, and we're, by being quiet, they enable men to...
And so what I like to do is take them back to my dungeon layer,
shackle them, put a ballgag in their mouth, and wait till later.
I'll let them marinate.
Hey for the dinners and the dates and whatnot.
Well, everybody, I mean, quite honestly, everybody, once they have sex,
or we wouldn't be around here, I mean, you know, it just...
It really works, yeah. Wow, it just is just weird.
It's weird.
It's weird.
Wow, Chuck, that was deep.
What is it?
Ruminism's by Chuck.
Yeah.
What?
Claditude's by Chuck.
Claditude equals attitude, bro.
Whether it's appropriate and whatever, but let's take a look at the tapes the guy saw.
Remember, you're going to vote again.
Let's take a look at who volunteered to wash this guy's hair.
And I mean, by this guy, I mean this guy.
First was Julie.
Her idea of a great date is the hot air balloon, followed by a romantic picnic.
Too soon Julie.
Too soon.
The first day.
Nice joke.
But too soon we just shot it down over South Carolina.
Think you're funny.
She's alone. She likes to take long walks and sing off key.
I have no idea why.
We ask her what kind of guys she won't be.
I have no idea why.
Chuck is really, he's a smooth guy,
but he's actually really,
I'm super aggressive.
He is passive aggressive.
He's actually really bad at small talk,
if I'm being honest.
Yeah, he's like, all right, maybe not.
Yeah, he's like, I have no idea what that means.
I don't like anybody that's too much of a joke.
Cool, if you're going to have more than three buttons
like your shirt, just forget.
I'm not too stocky.
If you take steroids, stay at home.
OK.
Well, I got a agreement over there.
I'm at a lot of points.
Yeah, if you're going to button more than unbutton more than three buttons. Okay. Well, I got a agree with her there. I'll know. On point.
Yeah, if you're going to button more than,
unbutton more than three buttons.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stay at home.
Stay at home.
Stay at home.
Stay at home.
Stay at home.
I own button two buttons.
Yeah.
But if I go for the third, it's just a big bush of hair coming out of there.
Yeah, it's too much.
You have to have a gold chain if you do the third.
If you do the third, you have to have a gold chain.
I agree with you.
Write it down in the treaty.
Okay. Okay. Thanks.
Okay.
It's about the next time,
it's a month claims that she's not looking for a commitment
and she says that she's not afraid to ask me
to dance in nightclubs.
And here's how she responds when they turn her down.
Sometimes you think, well, fine.
And I kind of hurt you to go a little bit, but I just kind of get over that hump. You say, well, you think, well, fine. And I kind of hurt you to go a little bit, but kind of get over that hump you say, well,
you know, I'm obviously, I don't feel that I'm an ugly person and I think I can just,
you know, get out there and be me.
If somebody doesn't like me for me, then it's their loss.
It's kind of my new attitude now.
It's my new attitude since I read, Detics by L. Roundhubberd.
I've been doing mushrooms therapy
in the years my new attitude.
And we Margaret, she was married for one year.
She's been divorced for six.
One year married.
Yeah, I had one of those.
Wasn't that great?
Yours was longer than one year.
Well, Not really.
One year of being in the same residence as a married couple, maybe pushing two years
just as a married couple.
Okay.
It's about 10 times a month and she can't stand cheap men.
Here's something to really turn her off on a first date. I had a guy that took me on a date and he brought the coupon for by one dinner
get one free and I was just a little bit embarrassed on the first date you
usually don't do something like that you know maybe after you've dated for a
year and you guys are broke and you need to save some money but on a first
date didn't make a good impression? I got old country buffet.
I let the lady go first.
And then when she pays, I ask if I can bring her plate back to the buffet.
Get that first hot piece of chicken as it comes.
Yeah, you got it.
Yeah, I want to wait for the good roast beef.
Yes, exactly.
Can you bring out a new beef?
Man, man, come and don't give me the old.
Eh, don't give me the old beef.
The old beef.
It's all sloppy at the end.
Give me a new one.
Excuse me, sir. Did you pay? the, the end. It's all sloppy at the end, give me a new one.
Excuse me sir, did you pay?
No she did.
We're sharing.
It's a loud, this doesn't say anything in the rules
about not sharing.
Sir, I don't see anybody there sitting there.
Where did she go?
Where did she go?
In the bathroom.
Hi Judy, it's Damien.
Listen, this guy, this guy's a real asshole.
I'm gonna get out of there. Wait, don't leave without getting more food. Alright, those are the three women the guy I had to choose from.
Time for you to make your choice. Who do you like for?
Can we just discount Guy?
Yeah, can we get Guy out of the pictures?
You can watch the two girls. What if if they just pret like there was a fourth button
and they pressed it and guy said on fire right on the couch.
Also, do you think about how dated this is because I mean status divorced.
Yeah, I mean, I don't think you but that's not on any dating now.
No, status divorced.
Fred Flag and yeah, and yeah
I'm on my fist and what of it
On his latest to
Do guy going to he already chose yes, oh
He already chose yes Oh
Guy picked and here everything that happened on that date tomorrow. That's our
Yeah, because he says that's it no more. Oh, yeah, that's the end of a soda. Come here. Come here. Come here. Talk to you
No
Of course it is yeah, that audience they just stay there. They just had to say all yeah, they don't
Unfin you know, yeah, if you start with it, you can't just leave they probably record four to twelve of these day
And I bet the audience stays around for a good portion of that right? Yeah, because that's just the way it is
All right, let's fast forward and we'll get back there
Yeah, yeah, once you're in there, you're you're once you're in there, you're stuck. I got stuck in love connection all day long!
For you here...
I heard about 12 losers!
And now here's the poster!
I wanted to jump out of a window after I got done.
I've lost faith in humanity!
Love connection. Alright, now here's the... here's the photo. Here's the photo. after I got done I've lost faith in humanity ha ha
love connection
alright now here's the
here's the follow
yeah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah Most of his dates end in disaster he claims it's because the women are like walking back out again
They they get yeah, cut. That's right. Yeah cut. Hey guy now you get up in the walk back out
Hey guy did just three days ago. Hey guy. No, not you the actual guy. Hey guy. Do me a favor walk in a circle
Don't change your tie. It looks great. You look great
You want to watch that hair? No, all right. Let's just get it
Let's get back out there. We don't have time
His hair is so scraggly
But he also had missed that his behavior turns off a lot of women. Please welcome guys Scarpelli
Please welcome Frank Bernardo
Oh my God, that would be a dream.
Oh my God.
Frank Bernardo.
Hey, yeah.
Oh, I wonder if he's ever, he's somewhere, some, some, there's some video of Frank.
He's on TV somehow because probably how he got really into the YouTube stuff.
It's there's probably an old 80s news report about how the new fangled
thing is going to the club and meeting women.
Guys are finding that women are more accessible
when they're dancing at the brand new dance factory
down here on Main Street.
Yeah, and he's like, I'll tell you what,
you can pull so much pussy here at this little factory
right here.
This is called pussy factory.
Could you see again for the second time in three minutes. Yeah. That is so quick. I know. Why don't they just open up with him back on the couch?
Why go through the whole routine again? Just be like, welcome back.
Yesterday's episode we start, you know. I know. I think back then there was like TV
magic still. People believed in TV magic, like things were actually happening.
Yeah.
Like when you were watching a television show on Thursday, it had just been recorded, or
it was live.
Like you didn't know why, because it was 19 fucking 81.
No one told you any different.
You didn't have TM fucking Z.
What are you doing?
The turns women off guy.
Well, I like to master made public
ha ha ha
ha ha
where it turns to
i'd like to punch myself in my own balls with a sharp ballpoint hammer
and if that doesn't do it then uh... i don't know maybe it's the anal beads i'm wearing currently
well i'd like to be the center of attention, and I often find myself competing with my
dates.
I'm not afraid to throw myself into the center of spotlight, and that's...
I'm not afraid to dress up like a mascot, like a like a chicken mascot and run out on the floor and go,
come on, come on, come on, come on.
How is this guy, this guy is the set of attention anywhere he goes.
Just because of his hair.
Yeah, I don't think there's any woman that could compete, not even Brazil.
No, Brazil.
Brazil.
Sometimes.
Now, do you always well look at where those Sally Jesse Rapiel blasted by?
Get him, Chuck, Get him. Get him.
I take back anything I ever said about Chuck.
Thank you, Paul. I swear this is how it works.
There is something about Chuck. Chuck does have a shit dar.
Like he's got a, he's got a shit dar.
And if he senses there's a shit sitting next to him,
he'll call him out in a very passive aggressive way.
So he always wear those, you always wear those
Charles, Manson hands got there. Do you always look like Charles Manson? Yeah, you always
stare at people like you're gonna kill him. Anyways, let's do it. So that small penis attached
to your body or not, just ask it for a friend. If you think he's got a small penis, press number one.
if you think he's got a small penis press number one he should have done that
otherwise head for the fire exit
I mean I couldn't let you get off without that I'm sorry
it's okay it's kind of a cheap shot but it was the only shot I could take
you with you got that
he's cracking up at himself
he's cracking up at himself
he's cracking up at himself he's cracking up at himself he's cracking up at. We'll be talking about this at the staff holiday party.
I made a joke.
Was it on the cue card?
Hey, guys, go over here.
I'm telling the story about what I busted out that guy named Guy.
That guy guy.
Remember that guy guy?
I remember how embarrassing was when I said, hey, he always wear those Sally Jessie.
Ravi, I'll pass.
I was about get some more champagne over here.
I'm going to tell a story again.
Anybody here not heard the story?
No.
All right.
I'll be over here.
A few intimidated on Baris by the way I act and whatnot.
Okay.
Well, let's remind everybody what happened yesterday.
Yeah.
It's immediately dated.
I don't know.
Embarrassed.
Yes. Yes. Yes. This. I'd be embarrassed too if I was running around with this guy. Let's
remind everybody of what happened four seconds ago. We'll be right back. Saw guys three choices.
And they voted for one. I'm going to take a look at all three women and catch you. Let me
ask this question. Yeah. I know we're going to catch up again. We already catch. We already
caught up. Well, we are watching this. Backed back. We're binging a show that was never intended to be binge
But let me ask you a question. They took the time to change Chuck Woolery
Why wouldn't they take the time to change the guest too much? They changed the clothing
Yeah, they didn't too much. Maybe he didn't have a second pair of clothes
Yeah, they don't care about him. Chuck's the star. What I have a feeling they found this suit and tie in the back for this guy
First Julie when she's alone she likes to sing off key.
I don't know whether that means she sings on key when she's not alone.
Then Renee, she's not afraid to ask men to dance at nightclub.
Margaret, she's 28 and an educational student.
I did you catch that at the same time?
She's an education student a student of education
28 she's a business professional as much as she is
Just can't stand cheap
Now the audience vote was recorded yesterday we'll get that little later right now guys gonna tell us who he chose
I chose Margaret. Okay, I have a sweet relationship.
So, it was probably the best one.
I pushed the party.
Margaret's the easiest.
Hey Margaret.
I get that last name right.
Very good.
Very good.
Oh good, good.
Nice to have you.
Make yourself at home and the guy will start us off.
Okay, well I called up Margaret on the phone
and we decided we mutually agreed
that we would spend an overnight camping in Catalina.
What?
What?
What?
What is our camping on the first overnight camping
on the first day?
Nothing like requiring your own car to get out. Yeah. Nothing like
being out of the middle of nowhere. I
mean, it's bad enough if you guys
have been spending your eyes on the
first day. But setting up the day
was where no one's around. And I'm
going to go to my favorite murdering
spot. You want to come with me?
It's a good time.
I think there's still some room to lay some more body.
I mean, if there's one guy in the world,
it would be guy who I would not want to go on a date with
where it included you having to literally run on your own
two feet to civilization to get away.
Is that an island? It's an island.
It's an island.
I'm getting it as electricity at night.
You're stuck.
There's a fairy and separating you and that fairy is some of the most dangerous ocean in
the world.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
This is crazy.
This would never happen in 2023.
She's lucky.
She's alive.
I know. Is she? That might just be AI.
That's AI.
We dropped off our stuff and we headed down to the beach and we had both gone and changed
and she came out of the cabana and she had on this little string bikini and I'll tell
you she looks so good. I thought my head was gonna explode. I mean she it was incredible
I had such a hard time. I
Exploded she looks so good. I knew I am going to kill that woman
My head exploded. Oh my god
uh... shorts on an i was attracting attention to
and she's she didn't see my
he had short shorts on yet short shorts on and he was attracting attention to
go figure
couldn't let that slide yet to tell everybody
what it what it would do to attract attention Margaret just sit there or what?
Well he had a G-string spoon suit on.
Oh my God!
Now my head's exploding.
Anyone want to see my penis in graphic detail?
Well he had a G-string. Anyone want to see my penis in graphic details?
Well, he had a G-Stri- Can you see the head of my penis, the outline?
Can you see it?
You like it?
He had a G-Stri-God!
G-Stri-
It's more like a no-stri-
Nope!
That's crazy!
Oh, the 80s were a wild dog.
I mean, listen, there's plenty of guys
that wear G-Strikes now.
And if you got the body for it, I guess,
but on a first date, come on.
This isn't hedonism, it's Catalina.
There's kids out there.
Can you not show half of your anus during the first date?
That'd be great.
I really appreciate it. Do you mind putting of your anus during the first day? That'd be great. I
really appreciate it Do you mind putting your hairy anus away just for the first part of the date?
You can show me later
Crazy
People are cold. Creeps.
It takes.
He had a pair of white shorts on over him so you could see the G string underneath.
The women that were up on the beach, they were throwing money at him to drop his shorts.
So guy naturally turned around and hung a B.A.
Adam and they loved it.
Let's hung a B.A.
What's a B.A.?
What's a B.A.?
I don't know what a B.A. is.
I've lived a long time in the surf that I don't know what a B.A.
It's hung a B.A.
Huh.
Big ass.
Balls and ass.
Balls and ass.
We're going to do that.
Bear ass.
Bear.
Oh. Bear ass. Hung a B. BA. How do you hang a BA?
He hung a BA
bodily odor what I mean I don't even know what's going on here. I
I was
I'm a BA
Talk is even like I guess I'm
a B a
The good old airballing. He's called ball air
They hung some ball around
It's where your swing or balls real fast like a fan.
Give the girls what they want.
Oh my god.
I felt his baller.
It's like magic.
Mike he comes up in the balls just swing like a little of air.
I felt his baller. And it's just a little of air
I felt this ball air
He's just having some ball air out there to dry
That was not linen fresh my friend
You did me a favor and swing some of that ball air over here. It's getting kind of stuffy in the studio
Let's get some ball air going
Good someone open up a window in this car. It's stuffy. No windows don't work, but I'll throw some ball air back there Here let me thrust real quick back and forth
those don't work but I'll throw some ball air back there. Here let me thrust me a quick back and forth. I can taste it. Now I know what it means. Oh Lord. So you're out there
with your cheeks hanging out. Chees hanging BAs people are throwing money. We left the
craziness for a man. We took a walk out onto these rocks that were
Let me put my balls back in my pants no more free ball air for this crowd
You've had enough ball air to go around
share it By the way, I'm now selling jars of ball air
Online
The next free shwagger to get ball air. Online. The next free swag you're going to get ball
air. A BBA, Brian's ball air.
Hanging B.A. Yeah, hanging B.A.
We're going to hang some Brian
ball air right there.
Adelina and it's real romantic
because being adventurous you
should crawl out on these rocks
and the waves are like
smoothing against the rocks.
Sun is blaring. Her blue
green eyes were just sparkling,
and that's when I give her a...
Yeah, I took a veg to the moment I gave her a long,
passionate kiss, right?
With my...
I'm entering him!
Him!
Him!
I'm looking at right now.
Yeah, you gotta look at this guy.
With a G-string.
A G-string.
And a rocks. On these rocks that are splashing and the sun shining
a Grabser and gives her a long but you could just got to imagine like you know I love
your green eyes you're sparkling green eyes actually blue whatever and your long flowing hair
whatever
Come here you
It's one of those bachelor kisses
There's a new bachelor I was watching the other day and all the girls going for tongue and he's like
He has his lips closed and they're all like
Just circling around his lips with their tongue.
That's what I imagine going on here. I don't kiss on the mouth in the first date, but here's some more
ball air. It's your hot. So now you're still in the G-string thing, the working thing.
I'll take a picture. Well, she was taking a picture and everything. So now you're still in the G-string thing, what's it going on? I'm taking pictures.
Well, she was taking pictures and everything.
I figured there'd be a lot of tourists, so they're going,
well, if you work away from everybody, thank God.
So we're away from everybody.
But then we gathered our things and ham quarters
quarrying all over the kettle.
Brian's a dad out there.
Like George Lucas. Doing auto focus.
Come on, dad, let's go.
Catalina's fucking boring.
What are we doing?
Here, we see two people out in the wild, finding romance amongst the Catalina.
Oh my god.
Is he swinging ball air our way? The fresh ocean ball air
coming my way. Gather things and we walk back to the campsite to get ready for dinner
and we took a shower together. What? What? I'm man, I'm just. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I need to get him into a public restroom shower Where we could make out and get gangrene
Which you ever I mean you never have a date like that
She's like you lucky son of a bitch
You know my ears hosting this show never once took a shower with another woman
They like that it's not as bad as it seems
we didn't seem bad at all
well somehow what happened
okay so uh...
we uh... we've gone back to uh... the campsite and uh... this was after dinner
yeah this is after dinner and uh...
we've let the lantern in the tent and the whole tent like took on this really
eerie, romantic blow.
Oh, I bet it did.
Eerie is right.
Thank you, dearie at night.
Oh, this has got all the markings of a Judy Bloom novel.
Where's Devin King?
Aaron Sorkin couldn't write this any better.
Yeah.
And I just kind of like these mantles, these Coleman lamps, lamps that came in.
Yeah, mantles glow.
Yeah, it was sort of like that.
We just sort of chucked.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Shut up, Chuck.
What the f***?
Trying to tell my, how I got my dick wet story.
I told it 300 times, perfected it by by now and you're really stepping all over it.
Shut up.
Shut up girl I went out with.
I'm over here telling the dumb joke.
She said two things.
Yeah, I know.
Well, he's not the kind of guy who's going to let too much stock and go on to be happy.
Female form.
It was incredible because her face in that glow, it was just something about her that just
took me and I.
I bowed her. I bowed her. her face in that glow which is something about her that just took me and I I
So I got out my rock heart erection and I do what men do
You want a rock like love and do I put on a little urid mix I got out my rock
hard pony I swirled up some ball air real quick.
Make sure the tin didn't get too stuffy.
And then I asked her the question every man wants to ask a woman.
Are you sleeping?
Are you awake?
Are you awake?
Really asleep.
Yes, yes, I am.
I forgot to tell you, there's a lot of wild animals running around the camp
So they tell you to keep your
Oh, I bet there is well they've got foxes and they've got like you know I guess badgers or something just
Box one or badgers well the whole thing is that you have to keep terrier face off sure
I mean you have to keep it zippered because they go in the tent looking for food soon
That's for seeing the tent so there was a lot of Cassie you have to in the tent looking for food. So you're not supposed to eat the tent. So there was a little... Lately, Cassie.
You have to keep the tent zip.
Cassie, I'm gonna zip up the tent
and you're gonna zip down my G-string.
Okay?
That's what's gonna work.
Okay, but can we take off the glasses?
The glasses never come off.
The glasses are part of guy
and guy is part of the glasses.
Do you understand?
Have a rude
No, no, so this is Fox that was trying to come into the tent every through the night and I smacked him on the face
And he like took off because I figured I had one Fox in the tent already and that was enough
I smack the fox on the face, right?
Yeah, right, right, right.
You see how cool I am?
See it?
You see that?
I only had a totally planned to, but those are the fox and the two.
Here's the reaction of a 2023 audience who give him after he said that.
OK, let's arrest that guy immediately.
What a camping trip. Boy, this is like a dream camping trip. So now you wake up in the
morning and what's going on here? Well, not surprisingly, to me, but she looks great.
I'll tell you what's going on.
My dick was hard.
You don't think I'm lying?
You think I'm lying?
I took a lot of photographs.
Here's my dick at the camping trip.
Here's my dick on Catalina Island.
Here's me blowing ball air people's way.
Hang in B.A.
Here's me hanging some more B.A.s in the morning.
Here's me on top of my car.
Doing some yoga, hanging some B.A.
Here's me making coffee with my erect penis.
She did the nice side going.
I was just making. Now she looked great in the morning and we took the boat back to Catalina and
a little back to
back to Long Island. Where you were you're so true man. You got it and
and we took a romantic drive along Pacific Coast Highway and I don't seem to have done the
you know his hair was flying in the wind. Yeah
He had his bikini hemigone.
Yeah, Windows down.
Hopefully it was a convertible.
Oh, you know, it's a convertible.
Not his convertible, but it's a convertible.
Someone he stole it from.
Yeah, well, it hurt to drop off because we had such a good time and I've met a lot of fatal
traction in my life and there never been as pretty as her without the craziness.
So she was the perfect date, I would say.
Just one day.
Oh, yeah.
I bet this guys are a second date, totally.
They're going to pay for it, that's awesome because I don't have any money, I'm not working currently.
I'm just hanging a lot of BA around the Southern coastline.
I've been down the PCH.
They call me, they call me BA.
BA Barakas.
By the way, she hasn't said one fucking word the entire time.
Let's see who the audience is.
What if they get done and she's like, this was a nightmare.
Yeah, I know.
You've got to think that sometimes, sometimes I bet these dates are interpreted a lot differently
by the people who are,
who are, who are, who are.
She's like, I'm just, I'm just trying to stay alive.
Yeah, she's like,
I agree to do whatever.
Yeah.
Because there were badgers outside
and I didn't want to get killed.
And he took his, he took his penis
and punched a badger in the face.
And he took his penis and punched a badger in the face
Holy to later you're going
That's scored again sweet Please say no, please say no, please say no, but that wouldn't happen because it's 1982 and things like that
Don't happen on television now if things things like that don't happen. It's a boring show. Yeah
That's where we're taking you out again. I know too. Come on out Margaret Wow, they seem like they're...
She seems scared for her life.
Yeah.
All right, to put a fence around you, if you go to Catalina again, you know that.
We had a blast. It was like definitely the funnest date I was ever on.
Oh, thanks for coming on the show.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. All right, to put a fence around you if you go to Catalina again, you know that we had a blast It was like definitely the funnest day I was ever on
We're gonna come right back with another couple say we're this. Oh
Everybody's a good one. I like that. Yeah, I like it
BA hanging VA now we know yeah hanging VA
Hanging ball air all over the Southern California General Air.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, there's almost, it's hard not to find gold in the old love connection episodes
because of how vastly different we are as a society now around love and relationships.
Yes.
Right?
It's just a like an eraragon by a simpler time, but when you look at it through today's lens
It all seems so creepy and weird like
Well, just like during that time they were looking at the 50s
Those crazy
Those crazy PSAs that the government kept putting out yeah, well, that's propaganda. That's all different animal all together
Now it's just AI everywhere. We're going with it. That's right., Animal All Together. Now it's just AI everywhere, and we're going with it.
That's right, the propaganda's coming back.
It's just going to be Che T.
All right, well listen, thanks for tuning into another episode of the commercial break.
I don't know, you've got blessed you children.
I don't know how you do it.
I can barely handle the whole thing.
Right, I didn't tell us in bad dating stories.
I want to hear them.
Yeah, we need some more bad dating stories. We had a whole slew of them last summer.
And the people we're talking to now are wonderful.
But send us in your bad dating stories.
We'd love to hear your worst one
as in as much colorful detail as possible.
If you want to try and be funny,
then you too can be like Chrissy and I.
We're also trying to be funny.
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We want you to see it subscribe.
Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for this.
I think so, right?
So I will say this, I will tell you that I love you. I love you. I will say best to you.
Best to you.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say good bye.
Good bye.
Good bye. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, sad
you