The Commercial Break - Heart Wants What The Heart Wants!
Episode Date: November 16, 2022It is what it is! That's the proverbial saying that seems ubiquitous these days. But is IT really what IT is?? Bryan, breaks out an equally ridiculous phrase "The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants". It...'s an excuse to stay in wayward relationships and he has used it more than he'd like to admit. Chris Evans is over 40 and the World's Sexiest Man...there is hope fro Bryan! Krissy gets distracted by Mr. Evans being across the street Why do tall people always seem to win? The Laguna Beach podcast is not Laguna Beach of TV California traffic is on another level, as Bryan has learned Todd writes in to ask TCB about sleeping with the hostess at his restaurant Does weed slow you down in bed? Bryan has tantric sex, while high on second hand smoke A Marlin update is here for all those asking! Marlin gets caught with his hands in the cookie jar LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for MEN too! Watch Us on YouTube Dumb People Town Is a Very Funny Podcast From Starburns Audio Use This Link For Unlimited Talk & Tex on MINT MOBILE! 1.855.TCB.8383  or 661.BEST.2.YO (1-661-237-8296) Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Functions: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Special Thanks To Our Associate Content Producers: Tina Rose Big Will The Champ Marianne Duke Luke Gustavo Special Thanks To Our Commercial Breakers Roxanne Dave Sydney Ronald M Stu Carly Mia Jake DAS Amanda Julie Charlene Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Discussion (0)
Current slang? Current slang 400.
This seven letter adjective means both dehydrated and two eager for approval.
Kelly. What is thirsty? We're thirsty, yes.
On this episode of the commercial break,
do you mind if I go to second base? She said yes a few times apparently.
At least three. At the kids. Yeah, at least three.
Well, at least two that I know of.
What's so sure about this last one?
Not with, no, no, it's going on there.
Does, can Spur live 78 days?
Is that possible?
So after a while, I just give up.
I think almost like fake in organism.
I'm like, yeah, study tantra.
It's called the dry organ. It's okay.
I'm just tired.
I just use tantra as a computer to screw us a lot.
I'm bored.
I'm just like, I'm in tantra, I'm doing the tantra.
I got my penis chocolate, it's working.
Practicing for later.
The question posed in the latest episode of,
love is blind, is love enough. And the answer, according to AstorNight, is no. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now
Yeah, cats again, welcome back to the commercial break. I am Brian green. This is my dear friend and co-host and joy Totally best of you, Chris. I am that's you Brian and why not best you out there in the podcast universe
How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this the commercial break
It's not for everyone, but fact news or fiction is guaranteed in 15 seconds or less. Go to the TCBpodcast.com website.
Do not disappoint yourself.
Go there quickly and collect your earnings.
Good luck to you, sir.
And ma'am.
And whatever else you identify with, good luck.
There's hope for the men over 40 out there in the universe, Chrissy.
Well, of course there is because Frankie B.
Oh, Frankie B.
You're 50, uh, 50, 60, 70.
God damn.
However old that guy is.
Yeah. We got to like a real gutter old reaction
to that last video that we did.
People were like, wow, he's lost the fucking plot.
Yes, he has.
I don't know if he ever had a plot to lose, but if he did,
it's gone now.
He's officially an ass clown at this point, I think.
But we'll see, maybe Frankie, he's going to do a bad breakup.
We've got to give him a little bit of space.
We just got to give him some time to shake it all out
We'll be here to capture every moment because we just can't quit Frankie V
But Chris Evans is named the world's most beautiful man world's most beautiful person or what people's sexiest man alive and
Try as she did our publicist was unable to get me in the running
I know but I know had I been I would have been this close
But the guy's 41 years old when Chris Evans is like name you know, they've had some shockers in the past. I think I
Who is
Harrison Ford like in his 50s was named world's most sexiest person
There was a couple of others that kind of surprised me.
Remember that time that, what's an ant man?
Who's that guy, Paul Rudd?
Yeah, Paul Rudd.
That was just last year.
That was last year?
And he's like 50, isn't he?
Thanks though.
Wow.
So there is hope.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
You should think of the World's Sexiest Man.
It would be like some young stud, some honk, like Momoa
or someone.
Has Jason Momoa ever been the world's most sexy as person?
He definitely should have.
But I just made me feel a little good.
I was like, okay, you know, men in their 40s were sexy, were hot, were experienced, we've
got love making abilities, wow, we're in 3000!
You know, it's not all ED and dadbots, it's, there's, there's, there's, there's.
He's the one that I was watching film the movie at my complex
oh that's right yeah yeah I was another bitch you lied watching I don't think I really ever got who
he was and who's in the action grunts it yeah yeah that's me yeah hey honey just here watching them. I got my hands stuck in them!
Blender!
Okay, hun, sure.
Yeah, you can turn it on whatever you want.
I'm not watching.
I said to Blender!
Yeah, that's okay.
Whatever.
I'll make whatever for dinner.
Oh my god, like a criss-a-ven.
He's much cuter than I even thought.
I was just excited to watch the movie.
Be your mate, because I find it fascinating to watch a movie set.
There's so many people. There's so much going on behind the scenes of what we see the final product. And so I when I saw
I'm getting out of the car because it was like a car scene and I was like oh oh yeah he's really
cute. I just slam my dick in the oven! Wow he's really cute. There's an intruder. I'm getting shot.
Wow, he is sexy.
Oh, this guy.
Look at him.
He's cuter in person.
He was taller, too, than I thought.
Oh, yeah, they're all taller than you think, or shorter.
They're shorter than you think.
Yeah, taller than you think, or shorter than you think.
He's gonna tell people always have an advantage in life.
You know what I'm saying?
I've met an unsuccessfully short person.
Yeah, I mean, I've tall person yet.
There's been studies done about it.
It's true, people just think of,
there's more CEOs.
Natural leadership because you're taller.
And, you know, if the lion comes,
you can see it first in the pack of animal school.
I told you what.
It's gotta be something like that, right?
You're basic, guttural.
So how tall is Chris Evans?
I don't know, but he was taller than I thought.
Like six foot something? It might, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, because he looks is Chris Evans? I don't know, but he was taller than I thought like six foot something
It might maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, he looks short on screen right. I feel like he's like a Tom Cruise type
Yeah, no, I think Tom Cruise is short Tom Cruise is really short. It's like four foot six
He's on yeah, he's on the seven little John's dance. I think on some episodes. He's a he's a standing
Yeah, that's what he would be doing.
But yeah, it's you know, Chris Evans, I got to give the guy.
Congratulations to Chris.
He seems like kind of a plain Jane to me.
I mean, I don't realize he's a handsome guy,
but he's not very like exotic looking.
He's just kind of like the all-American boy, right?
I can think of other guys out there that are better looking.
Well, for instance, your guy from the Starbucks. Oh, the guy from the Starbucks was 15 times as hard as this guy was.
Yeah, Chris Evans couldn't touch this dude. This dude, I'm surprised this dude is not in the movies somewhere.
Maybe is, I just don't know about it, but I'm surprised that dude is not in the movies or a model.
Maybe that's what he does for a living, is he's a model.
It sounds like a paste on your description.
Yeah, speaking of models, you know how excited I got when I found that they had a good model, maybe that's what he does for a living, is he's a model. It sounds like a paste on your description.
Yeah, speaking of models, you know how excited I got when I found that they had a Laguna
Beach channel on Pluto TV.
Remember that?
Like way back two years ago when I was editing in that tiny little room over there all
night long.
And I was so excited that they had a Laguna Beach channel on Pluto TV because that's what
Pluto TV does.
They buy, the license some property
and then they just play all of the season.
It was between that and 21 jumps.
21 jumps. You were okay on that day.
Depending on what time and night it was, right? Because they had the hills in there too.
But I really, you know, the hills in Laguna Beach both of them, I liked, but it depended
on if I had seen the episode or not, I'd switch between 21 jumps and the Laguna Beach.
So the other day, Astrid sends me a photo in Instagram, a screenshot of Instagram,
where the three main characters in Laguna Beach
are all together.
That's LC, Steven and Kristen Cavillieri.
They're all together.
And it was like, back again,
and I thought to myself, holy shit,
they're gonna do another season of Laguna Beach.
I called it back to the beach.
But what it was, there's a podcast where Steven and Kristen rewatch every episode of
Laguna Beach, and then they talk about it.
It's like one of those watch, you know, things.
And I thought to myself, wow, that sounds incredibly boring.
It's like, incredibly boring.
Well, that would maybe give some tips of like, what was actually happening,
because you know it had to be scripted.
How do you get that many cameras
to catch an offhand conversation?
Every angle was a movie quality angle.
It was.
And that's why it was so different
than any other reality show we had ever seen.
It's because they played contemporary music
during emotional scene,
to bring up or down the emotional,
to turn the volume, so to speak. Turn the knobs on your emotions.
And then it was filmed as if it was a movie.
It really was.
The cinematography was great.
Incredible.
Beautiful.
Yeah, beautiful vistas, beautiful houses,
beautiful people, but they'd go to a coffee shop
to have some serious conversation that was supposed
to be off-hand.
And there'd be 12 different camera angles.
It didn't take me long to figure that one out.
Like, I think it took some people a little while,
but it didn't take long.
I'm like, there's no way that's not staged.
The camera angles are too good.
Yeah, but we still watched it.
Of course, I still watch it.
It was highly fun, even in my,
what am I now, 27?
Even when I'm 27, it's still,
still fascinating to watch all those beautiful people
run around, so different from any life
I had ever experienced that's right
Yeah, I didn't have a Corvette at my disposal at 16 years old. Yeah, I live right there at the beautiful beaches of lagoon
Oh my god, the beautiful beautiful beaches of lagoon. I've just out and get to get listen
California has its challenges like I'm sure every state does and I know that a lot of people think of California as kind of an out there place,
just like you think of Florida as an out there place, like, you know, kind of,
there can be some nutty things that go on there.
The truth is, I think both places attract a certain type of personality,
like a dreamer type of personality, because they are so gorgeous.
And that's why.
Yeah, the weather's incredible.
The weather's incredible.
You can't deny that Florida has beautiful weather,
beautiful beaches, beautiful scenery.
It's living in paradise and so it attracts everybody,
you know, some people aren't so,
they're kind of looming to me.
They're kind of looming to me.
But I think California is the same way.
The dreamers and the doers and the people who are, you know,
maybe a little off-kilter,
they all get attracted to this beautiful scenery that's out there because when you're
in LA, it's beautiful.
It really is.
Beautiful.
Ah, around every turn, there's another beautiful vista.
I've around every corner, there's another shot of the ocean.
Up, go up and down, PCH, and you're like, oh my god, this is incredibly.
You see the whales breaching out there?
And it's just unbelievable.
California is such a beautiful
state but the traffic is out of fucking control. Yeah, it's really bad. I know I've been out
there before. It's, you know, I think Atlanta and LA are the top traffic. Yeah, I think Denver
at one point was in there or something like that. For some reason, I don't really have
it. Colorado is beautiful too. Oh my God. Colorado is another one of those states. But
I don't know. I feel like Colorado, even though there's a lot of sticky,
gooey, gooey, deppy, babbies going on out there,
I feel like there's a level-headed state in general.
Yeah.
So when I'm in California, I'm staying in Glendale,
which is, I guess, North and East of Los Angeles,
up on, I think, out of the valley.
OK. And then we have a lot of meetings that are in studio city, right? Yeah. in the east of Los Angeles, up on, I think, out of the valley.
And then we have a lot of meetings that are in Studio City, right?
And so that's why I stayed in Glendale
because it's close to Studio City.
You can get there in like 15 minutes or something like that.
But one of the days we had a meeting down in Santa Monica,
which is not.
That's my best friend, he used to live.
Yeah, close to Glendale.
Gorgeous.
So beautiful.
So beautiful.
Everything about it's so cool.
It's so cool.
Everyone there is gorgeous. Everyone there is beautiful.
Yeah. Good shops, good food.
Oh. Well, yeah, it's just incredible.
Yeah, the constant smell of weeds being smoked somewhere.
And beautiful flowers that are just flowering everywhere for no reason.
Yeah, it's unnatural. The whole state is just unnatural.
So we at this meeting at three o'clock in
Santa Monica and it gets done right about, or at two thirty, two o'clock at in Santa
Monica, it's done right about three o'clock. Right, so I'm out the door of 315, 330 and
I'm heading back to Glendale so I can pack my shit and go catch a flight. I was 17 miles
away by the, by Apple Maps. I was 17 miles away from where I was going and it took me two
hours and 12 minutes to get that 17 miles. Two hours and 12 minutes! It's insane! That's
insane! It was just like, I couldn't believe it because in Atlanta, with traffic that we
think is really bad, if you, if I had to go from here to the airport, which is probably
20 miles away, if I had to go from here to the airport, which is probably 20 miles away,
if I had to go from here to the airport
in the worst of traffic,
it might take me an hour and 15 minutes
in the worst of traffic.
This took me twice as long.
I couldn't, and I couldn't believe it.
And I turned, I opened up that ways on like,
oh, wait, wait, just keep me going forward.
I don't care.
Right, just keep me moving.
Just keep me moving.
I was driving over, and through every back street
that California had to offer,
one way streets, closed streets, up and down mountains,
all over the place, avoiding trash cans and people,
it was just like I was in the...
I got an obstacle course.
I was in the thick of it, because yes,
I stopped sign every three seconds.
I was in the middle of an obstacle course.
I was in the thick of it.
As if I had lived in LA for my entire life,
that ways was taking me crazy places.
It kept me going forward,
but I still didn't get there any quicker.
I was like when I started and when I ended,
it was a same amount of time.
And I couldn't believe how fucking miserable
that traffic is I could never live there, never.
Or if I lived there, I'd never leave my house.
I think.
Well, you wouldn't leave your neighborhood.
Never.
I mean, that's what you do. Is that what people in California do? You I wouldn't leave your neighborhood. That's what you do.
Is that what people in California do?
You live in work and the neighborhood.
I mean, kind of what people do in Atlanta too.
Oh, man, we met up with a guy and he's like,
oh, yeah, I lived in Burbank for a while,
but now I live down in Santa Monica.
I just try to take the travel every day.
And I'm like, how long does that take you?
That's about an hour and a half each way.
Three hours of your day are spent in the car.
That's incredibly, and now I know why everybody gets these, and everyone's got to test them out there, right?
The electric vehicle, everyone.
I now understand why, is because you can't afford the gas
to go an hour and a half every day.
I remember I used to work with Delta
and do tech recruiting type stuff.
I remember people, I would talk to people
and they were living in Alfa Retta.
I'm working at the airport, that's insane.
That's like an hour happy to wake.
That's insane.
Yeah, that's like you're a glutton for punishment.
And then I go down to like, you know, like,
Milly Island, like a place that I'm not sure.
Oh, beautiful.
You go there and there's at any given time
max 20,000 people on the island, right?
And maybe 5,000 of them actually live there
at any given time.
It's a beautiful, beautiful.
Yeah, really, yeah.
But it's tiny, it's two miles long. It's one mile wide. I mean,
it's just, there's just maybe not two miles wide. Maybe six miles wide.
You know, three miles long, whatever it is. But we go down there and sometimes we'll
stay down there for a long period of time. And by the second week, I get stuck at a
traffic circle behind more than three cars. And I'm like, God damn it,
Morgan, I know more complaining. I'm never going it, you're fucking I am! I know more complaining.
I'm never gonna complain about traffic.
I just put teleport yourself back to when you were in that traffic.
It's in my memory.
It's like my therapist says when you have trauma, just get stuck in your head.
She wants to do tapping on me.
You know that tapping?
And she wants to do the tapping.
And I'm like, okay.
Well, why not?
Yeah, as long as I can keep my skeletons buried,
then that's okay.
It's me, I like to push them down.
I like to push them down.
Steep down.
Yeah, deep down.
That's the right way to do it, Chrissy.
As per our, as per the what we saw.
The 1950s video that we saw.
I date with the family, that's right.
I don't talk about anything.
Anything.
Just don't talk about anything.
You're damned if you do a damned if you don't.
Dan's gonna beat you either way,
so don't say anything.
Hey, we had a couple of pastast T.C.Bs,
I thought I'd throw them out there.
I love being here.
I love being here.
They're coming fast and furious,
so I wanna keep up with them.
And just kinda shed them every week
or else we're gonna be.
Backed up.
Yeah, we're gonna be backed up.
All right, number one,
and these are, I've kept them short, okay?
So I just kinda took the gist of what they were saying.
So that way we can get to the answers quickly.
Should I sleep with the hostess at my bar?
She's 21, I'm 35, 35 years old, John.
Sure.
Do I not?
Yeah.
Stop it, yeah, I mean.
I don't think it takes a long, long time to think about this.
Is it legal?
Yeah.
Is it appropriate?
It might make things weird if you're the,
if you're the, if you're the owner of the business, the answer is yeah.
Yeah. If you're the manager, I think about it just a
little bit. If you're just like a waiter there. Yeah.
The bartender. Sure. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think there's a lot of question about this one.
I personally, you know, when it comes to age differences, I
think extreme age differences can be a problem. But if you,
um, if you're not
using your age as leverage, in other words, you know, it's just a straight up consensual,
let's go have some fun, go out for drinks, whatever. If she accepts the you then, if she
says yes, if she says yes, then get undressed. If she says no, you got to go. That's the way it goes,
buddy. Those are the rules of the road, right? And if any, at any time, she says no, you got to go.
Just remember that. The TCB were here about full consent.
As a matter of fact, I still ask Astrid every time. Can I kiss you?
Can I touch your boobies? Do you mind if I go to second base?
She said yes a few times apparently.
At least three.
At least two that I know of.
Not so sure about this last one.
Don't know what's going on there.
Does can sperm live 78 days?
Is that possible?
In Venezuela, yes!
Has that commercial break coming honey?
Better get back in the studio and make more episodes!
Because they said these kids are school!
Baby, me me!
What's my Jesus doing in my Mercedes?
Oh don't worry honey, we just titled it in his name for legal reasons.
Bye!
Wait, I thought you were going to stay a few minutes in the house and talk.
I'll leave it there at Zyrevin home later.
I'm going to let the nurse change your pee-pee poo poo, so I'll be back on Thursday.
Next Thursday!
Oh!
I guess I'm stuck here with Chrissy again. Thursday
I guess I'm stuck here with Chrissy again
Well, I'm back to this commercial break
I'd like to thank both listeners for hanging in there for 50 years
Hey, honey, our commercial break resident residual check came into the well great Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's very expensive to send children to cooking school in Italy We're all going together. Oh, that's awesome. When it's time when we're going oh, no honey. You can't go no diapers on the plane. Sorry
We couldn't afford an extra seat for your walker
Remember when we used to make love on that walker. No, I don't
I make love to the pool boy
Guess I'll do another episode of Chrissy
We put out 30 episodes a week
You and me playing Pee Nuckel
You're getting free ice cream from the seniors that is an ice cream machine. I'm gonna go get some more ice cream. We'll be back after this short break.
I gotta take another piss break.
It's up for another prostate break at the commercial break.
Yeah, I'm a peanut.
Whatever the fuck that is.
How do you play me?
I don't know my career.
I've had a million times that I don't have no idea.
I have no idea who came up with P-Nuckle, but apparently it would be-
In the card game?
Yeah, when you turn 70, it's like you automatically know the rules of P-Nuckle because the only
people will play it.
I think it's GoFish, but they call it the P-Nuckle, the bigot sound pants.
P-Nuckle, what an awful name for a card game.
But my grandpa, my grandma used to always be like, I gotta go play my P-nuckle, what an awful name for a card game. But my grandpa, my grandma used to always be like,
I gotta go play my P-nuckle!
Like what the fuck is P-nuckle?
Never learned that one.
Yeah, hey listen, go do, go for it, go.
I mean, consensual, and not a fear and a position of power.
Be careful with those two things,
because you never know someone could feel obligated
to sleep with you, and I think like most women
in my life are wondering, he's under the other. Oh, well, I guess I'll sleep with you and I think like most women in my life are one reason for the other
Well, I guess I'll sleep for them and shut them up. Ask T CB
Wait, there's another one here. Okay, ask T CB. I feel like weed is making my sex life a little less exciting. I can't come
Yeah, let me tell you a quick story. It's time for a story time with Brian. Sorry, is that my uncle?
You can now fast forward, 17 to 20 minutes.
There was this girl.
I don't want to get into a lot of the gory details because I don't think she would appreciate
it if I shared this.
But there was a young lady that was in our circle of friends, not our circle of friends,
but my circle of friends.
There was a young lady that was in our circle of friends, not our circle of friends, but my circle of friends. There was a young lady, she was like 22 or 23 years old and I was 32, 33, 34 at the time.
And we reconnected in a party situation and then the next night she asked me to travel a short
distance to another city here in Georgia to come see her a couple of nights later.
Okay. I did. And where she was staying, it would end up had appropriate for the two of us to stay
there. So she on her own rented a hotel room and gave me the room number and told me to meet her
there later on that night. I did. It was like a motel
later something, right? It wasn't, we're not talking about anything fancy. We're talking about
like people screaming and shooting and stuff like it was just like a really ratty motel. But I get
there and you know she's also you know 23 and she decided to do it so maybe it was just like the cost
of it. Yes, I'm sure that's something to do with it. I get there. She's on the second floor. The
elevator's not working so I take the stairs up to the second floor. As soon as I open that door,
the stairway door, I can smell weed. And at this time, we're talking decades ago, at this time,
you didn't, that wasn't as normal as it is now to smell weed everywhere, right? And so the closer
I get to the door, the more I realize that this is coming from this particular room.
And I open up the door, or not on the door, she opens up the door, I swing it open.
And what I see is amazing, she's got a Frisbee, which is, I guess, a favorite place of people to roll joints on.
Why do you roll it on a Frisbee? Do you get this? I see this a lot. People roll and joints on Frisbee's.
She's breaking up the weed, and she's rolling. She's got like seven huge joints rolled out
and she's got just a mound of weed, right?
And another one going.
And I'm like, holy shit, she's gonna go to the distance.
This is crazy how much weed can you smoke.
So, yeah, you wanna puff?
No, thanks, I'm good, it's not my thing.
But I'll drink one of my butt lights.
So I've drink a couple of Bud lights.
We get into it this whole time.
She has got a joint going at every moment.
She's got a joint going and at every opportunity
she is smoking that joint, getting higher
and higher the entire time.
The room is filling up with more and more smoke.
And I am now starting to feel a contact high
because I've been sitting in this hot box
for like an hour now and we have been kind of going at it
making out for a long time, right?
A lot of, a lot of, you know, a lot of pre-action action.
I really love dancing.
Oh man, we are just, we're just going at it,
but we're yet to have sex.
So as we are doing lots and lots of four play,
I'm starting to feel this contact high
and pretty soon I realize that I'm really fucking high.
Like I'm really fucking high.
You know, the whole room is like closing in a little bit,
you know, and I'm feeling that body high that's just weighty
and, but we're still going at it.
And then we start having sex.
And we had sex for the longest time,
either could have been the longest time
or could have seemed like the longest time.
That is a same like a great way.
Yeah, I'm not really sure which it was
because I was too fucked up to understand.
I've been drinking Bud Light all night.
Now I'm sure I've smoked the equivalent
of like six really big joints
because she's on her 12th joint
and she just keeps on smoking.
And so I'm like,
Why y'all have sex?
Yes, she would like, yes, yes, the whole time.
And I don't really know why she's doing this,
but I don't really care at the same time.
Whatever makes her, you know, whatever,
she's just having fun, I think, right?
It's just like we're both having fun.
Chrissy, this goes on and on and on,
and I'm sideways and upside down and forward and backward
and over the bed and on top of the counter
and in the shower and down on the ground.
On the walker.
On the walker. On the walker.
Oh, I'm trying to hold her up against the wall,
but I'm not that strong so she falls.
There's just like, we're everywhere around this one
but we're defiling this motel six room everywhere
we possibly can for every different reason.
And I am not finishing the job because I can't,
I just can't get there.
It's just like it never stops, right?
And I'm like, holy shawty shawty.
I don't know.
So after a while, I just give up.
I think almost like fake in orgasm.
I'm like, oh, I studied tantra.
It's called the dry orgasm.
It's all good.
I'm just tired.
I'm just tired.
I'm just tired.
I just use tantra as a completely excuse a lot.
When I'm bored, I'm just like, I'm in tantra.
I'm doing the tantra.
I got my penis chakra is working out. I'm practicing. I'm just like I'm in Tantra. I'm doing the Tantra. I got my penis chakra is working on practicing for later.
But, um, but you know in Tantra there's like there's a dry orgasm philosophy.
So I say that okay now it's now we're finished right. So after we finish this like an hour in my mind and hour after we finished this probably two minutes after we finished.
We've probably been doing it for two minutes and now it's two minutes after I finished, right?
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, you know? And I'm like, oh shit, who's that?
And she's like, I don't know, I didn't invite anybody, so I go to the door, I do flip the little thing.
It's the lady who was at the front desk, right?
And I'm like, I'm sorry, we're not the disposed right now, you know, we're in disposed.
And she's like, y'all'm gonna stop smoking that weed in there.
I get in complaints.
It's a whole field and it smells like weed.
I know it's you.
And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about
or sleepin' and takin' it out.
She's like, don't boast ya of me.
Smokin' that weed.
I'm gonna have to charge you.
Extra.
And I was like, oh, shit.
Now I'm paranoid that she's gonna call a police. Yeah. So I was like, oh shit, you know, now I'm paranoid that she's got a call for police.
Yeah.
So I'm like, we gotta get out of here.
Throw that prismi.
Yeah, we get that prismi.
Throw it out the window.
Send that thing across the street.
Hahaha.
Like, so the girl that I'm with is not quite as paranoid as I am.
You know, she's younger than I.
And so she's probably just like, whatever.
She's just a bunch of weed.
So I'm like, down on that weed, we gotta get out of here. We're gonna get busted. And she's like, what's just a bunch of weed. So I'm like, no, no, we gotta get out of here,
we're gonna get busted.
And she's like, what the fuck are we gonna go?
And I'm like, I don't know, we'll go to another one
but I tell her you can fuck for a weed or whatever.
And after a while, I just decided, like she fell asleep
and I was like, I told her, I'm like, I'm gonna leave, right?
I got to, I'm sad.
I am telling you that I had to take a cab somewhere else
and chill out for a couple of hours because I was so fucking high and I had never take a cab somewhere else and chill out for a couple of hours
because I was so fucking high
and I had never smoked a weed.
But I can appreciate what this guy is saying
because I went on forever and ever and ever
and I think it had to do with the contact high.
I mean, I think it had to do with the contact high.
I just could have been Superman that night,
but it felt like it had to do with the contact high.
weed I think desensitizes you to some degree.
It's a psychotropic drug.
It disassociates a little bit when you get there,
and I think you disassociate from your body, right?
No, I'm not the foremost expert on weed,
but I do know that much about it.
And so I think this desensitization.
What you could do is try Y-Bryin' 3000.
Y-Bryin' 3000!
If you're smoking weed.
We put the ED back in weed. Wee! Ryan 3000 if you're smoking weed
If you can't come in your perfect and your dick starts to turn purple, don't worry about it, we're bringing it on.
Why Brian 3000?
Now with THC, you want to get high and get hard at the same time?
Why Brian 3000?
Smoke a little on your butt, put a little on your dick, you'll be happy to go.
Ready to go.
Don't worry about not coming for 12 days.
Don't worry about not coming for so long into 12 days. Don't worry about it.
Yeah.
Try again, dick, go to the front of your forehead.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
You know, the truth is, I think,
but you do have a little, I think that weed
is desensitizing you.
Yeah, what does it need to do in experiment, too?
Yeah.
Don't smoke the weed.
Don't smoke the weed.
If you can come, then if you, then you'll know. Yeah, dude, I think you experiment, too? Don't smoke the weed. Don't smoke the weed. You can come then if you, then you'll know.
Dude, I think you got a problem.
If you're smoking weed every time you have before you have sex,
like what's that all about, right?
And I realize some people, now it's wherever you live,
it happens to be legal,
but then you're probably just kind of perpetually intoxicated
on THC, but just give it,
give it chill for a minute.
Chill for a minute, make some love and see what happens after that.
That's my advice for you.
Any other additional advice?
No, I think that's good.
My mind was wide-bred 3000.
Wide-bred 3000, don't worry about it.
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OK, now here's an ask the TCB.
Here's an ask TCB that I know I've gotten a lot of
over the last month.
And so let me get into it.
What ever happened to Marlin?
Is the question.
I just asked you this yesterday.
You just asked me this.
We've had lots of people.
It was like shower thoughts the other day for me too.
I'm like, what the, what happened to that guy?
Let me explain.
And, you know, sorry.
I went to, and what happened to our experiment
that we paid for the guy to do?
He never, he never,
he also followed up with me.
He never got contacted by anybody.
Yeah.
So I don't know.
I don't know what was the difference
between Marlon and this guy.
Maybe look, I'm not sure.
I don't know.
But, maybe we should have gotten TCB,
I mean, not TCB, Frank UB to help out with his profile.
His dating profile.
Yeah, he probably had an alcoholic drink in his family.
William, yeah, and he was in a bikini. Yeah. So for those of you that don't know about
Marlin that have joined this show recently, about two months ago, I have a friend named
Marlin that lives not where I live. And so we stay in communication via text message and
via phone calls. He explained to me that one time he went onto a dating site that caters to sugar mamas.
So sugar mamas, older ladies that date younger men,
he is in his late 30s, early 40s
and we calling him Marlin, that's not his real name,
but he started to tell me about this.
I like Marlin.
Yeah, Marlin, it's a fish.
I just realized that last night.
I was actually trying to remember what,
you're a little Lord, right?
Yeah, well that's where he stayed mostly.
That I was trying to remember what name we gave him.
I was like, what name did we give him?
And then I saw it on the show notes.
Marlon, that's really.
Marlon, what a stupid name.
Anyway, what a stupid, stupid, stupid name, right?
Marlon went on one of these dating sites,
not at Arby's, but he started to tell me about
it after he had been on a few dates.
And one of the women who he was dating was extraordinarily loaded.
She actually sent a Porsche to his house to be driven by him to pick her up on the first
date.
It's like one of those car services where he like drop off a, you know, really fancy car.
And then he went and picked her up with the Porsche.
Now she said, what was it after date number eight?
I think it was.
I thought it was 12.
Maybe 12.
Okay.
So your memory.
10 or 12.
10 or 12.
Yeah.
She said to him after date number two, if you can make it 12 dates with me, we're going
to Venice and we're going to stay there.
We're flying to Venice.
We're flying to Venice. That's it. That's going to be our 12th date or our 13th date or whatever it was. We're going to go to Venice and we're gonna stay there. We're flying to Venice. We're flying to Venice. That's it.
That's gonna be our 12th date or our 13th date or whatever it was.
We're gonna go to Venice.
So this was like two months ago and we were following him up to like date number four or
five.
But what we learned was that Marlon was a little put off by this lady in bed because she
wasn't his type necessarily.
She was much older and she was extraordinarily aggressive.
Very aggressive.
She was like, you're going to eat me out hard.
You're going to move your tongue to the right.
Move it to the left.
Get on it.
Harder, faster, it's hard.
He was basically in a BDSM situation where she was in full control of what was going on
in the bedroom.
And Marlon was having trouble keeping it hard.
He was having trouble with all of these demands.
So Chrissy and I made the assumption
that either Marlon was in it for the money
or Marlon really liked to be controlled
and he just wasn't saying anything.
Exactly.
So that's where we left off.
We were on date like number eight or nine
and we left off.
What had happened was Marlon started to get
uncomfortable with the fact that I was talking
about this on the show
And so he kind of said I'm gonna press pause on sharing these stories for now
Because I actually listen to your show and I'm concerned that somehow some way this lady is going to hear about this
And I'm gonna you know, it's not gonna be great
But what I really think was he just didn't want his personal shit on every regardless of whose name was being used. Well, he started communicating with me
again a number of weeks ago. Okay. They had gone to Europe. So you ready? Here's what happened.
Yes. So I'm ready. Yeah. So I'm giving you the I'm giving you the Brian Green version
of the Marlon story, right? Because I don't want to, I don't want to just read off of the text message. I feel like that might take some of the...
I think that's mostly embellished.
It's mostly bullshit.
It's much more interesting that it actually was. I'm actually going to try and play it right on
the line. And you know what? Marlon also knows this is going on air, so maybe he's embellishing too.
Anything you hear on this show just don't believe it, okay? It's all in good fun.
So Marlin on non-undate number, whatever it was,
but a number of dates after that
because of Marlin's work schedule.
He was out of town, he had to do some traveling
for work stuff like this.
Marlin and this lady start planning their trip to Venice.
So exciting.
Their trip to Venice actually turned into almost a month in Europe. Wow. She hired a
private plane to take them to Europe. That is no joke in itself right there. Like even people who have private planes
don't fly them over to Europe because it's so expensive. Yeah, no, no, it's it's a ridiculously
expensive. I mean, you can fly from Atlanta to Val Dosta
And it's gonna be like a thousand dollars a person and that's on a shared plane private plane, right?
What Marlon explains to me is that the bedroom behavior just gets more aggressive and it's not a negotiation
She's like no this is the way that I like it
And this is the way you're going to do it.
She's the one who knows what she likes.
She knows what she likes and she doesn't want,
she doesn't even like him talking
when they're making love.
Like she doesn't want any responses whatsoever.
She just wants him to do what she wants to do.
And if he does those things,
then at the end, like a good little boy,
he will get off and she will figure out how to do that.
Now I said, how do you get past the fact that you weren't even like getting hard at one point?
You just found this all really like really kind of disgusting and weird and he said why Brian 3000?
Why Brian 3000? Don't worry about it!
He said why Brian 3000? He's using some helpers, daddy's little helpers, right?
Which she knew about and she paid for. She paid for the fucking Seattleist or whatever it was.
She was like, I don't care, get some Seattleists,
get some heart on juice, whatever you need to do,
drink some funky cold Medina, whatever you need to do.
Get it done because we are not gonna have a relationship
without sex and you are not going to not do what I ask.
That is the trade off.
Yeah.
In the mean time, she has been paying his mortgage, paying his car, paying his bills.
He has a credit card in under her account that he can use at his discretion at his logic.
He is fully sugar-mammad-up.
Yes.
Nothing she won't agree with.
I love this so much because I mean, you hear about this all the time with guys.
Yes.
So it's refreshing to hear it reversed.
I agree.
Totally.
And honestly, it couldn't have happened
to a nicer person.
I mean, he has a really hard time with monogamy,
but it couldn't have happened to a nicer person.
But I bet he's monogamous with her.
He's monogamous with her.
Yeah.
But this is the poor guy that also got left
at the table after six people.
Right. I mean, Marlon's love life is kind of a hot mess. And finally, it's working diagnosed with her. But this is the poor guy that also got left at the table after six people this time. I mean, Marlon's love life is a kind of a hot mess.
And finally, it's working out for him.
The only thing he has to do is have sex with a woman
he doesn't find particularly attractive.
It's not a bad trade off.
She becomes more attractive with the bank account.
Oh, you agree.
Like this, you know, it's not the question posed
in the latest episode of, is Blind is Love Enough.
And the answer, according to Asteroid and I,
it's no, it's not enough.
You need a lot of other things.
You gotta figure out whether or not someone's mentally stable,
financially stable, emotionally stable.
All of those things were no for me,
but Asteroid decided to take me on because she's...
That was the charity case.
I was a charity case.
Because of my rise smile and wonderful sense of humor. She known I was gonna charity case. I was a charity case. Because of my rye smile and wonderful sense of humor.
And she known I was going to be the commercial break.
Definitely would have had no.
But she started this after.
So there's some trade-offs there and he'll admit it.
But he also says that they do have a lot of fun together.
I remember him saying this since the beginning.
And that makes a difference.
It's fun to have fun.
Yeah.
He says this is kind of like a love is blind situation.
If he just, he said she's not a bad looking woman,
but if he just forgets about the physical attractiveness
part of it, that otherwise they have a ton of fun together,
he said he's actually getting used to what's going on
in the bedroom.
He's like it's kind of fun, it's kind of disarming and relaxing and fun in the sense that I don't have to worry about.
How I'm going to please a woman, she's going to direct me. It's like a ways for orgasm.
It's like Apple Maps for the G spot, right? She tells me, put your finger up here and point this in this direction,
a little to the left, a little to right do it more do it soft do it
harder whatever and he's like she's a freaky deak like she likes all kind of
weird like a finger in the ass and her finger in his ass and all kind of stuff
but he's okay with that because he doesn't have to guess he knows so I'm like
this is actually this I'm starting to understand why Marlon
I don't take Marlon as the kind of guy I take I think any guy is a kind of guy who would like a
Am X that you could just fly anywhere if you know, especially if you haven't been used to that in your life, right?
But I'm not the kind of guy who would stay in a relationship just for money. No, I'm not
I would be like I don't know all this right feels to feel shitty and I don't want it to be at anybody's think for thumb, but I'm starting to really think
that Marlon likes this girl. So they get on a private plane, they're headed to Europe.
They're headed overnight to Europe, right? And in this plane, there is a stewardess and
a couple of pilots, right? There's an airline attendant and a couple of, it's actually,
I think if I remember correctly, you might just have steward, I don't know, but flight attendant.
Flight attendant.
And the two of them, it's like a seven-seater, eight-seater,
however big they are, you know, like a bigger jet
because it's got a cross-eation.
And there's like a couch and a couple of chairs.
Bye.
Champagne and Paul Niners.
That's fun.
Well, the lady in this situation, the sugar mama,
tells the attendant to please go sit in the quarters,
like there was a little room.
Oh, she wants to.
Go sit in the quarters.
Yeah.
Give us an hour to ourselves.
And she's like, Marlon, get here.
Give head, do it fast and do it hard.
Marlin's like, fuck no, like I'm not gonna do this
on a plane.
There's like other people, there's the pilots,
they could just pop open the door at any time.
She did not care.
I was like, come on.
What I think was going down on the Rolling Stones plane.
Oh yeah, but I mean, that's the Rolling Stones.
I mean, admittedly, Marlin's no Keith Richards.
I mean, he's not like that.
It's not like they've never seen it before, I bet. But okay, so this whole thing goes down
in the air. You go to your quarters. I want to get out here. You pull up my skirt. Get me from
behind right now. But he said that while he was a little embarrassed about the whole situation, he has to oblige
because that's just the agreement that they have.
Anytime.
He is like a sex slave, literally.
So they get over, I don't know, they puddle jump
or something, they get to Venice eventually
and they are staying in a beautiful hotel room
that overlooks the main canal.
The grand canal.
The grand canal, right?
In Venice.
I love Venice. I love it is so much it's so
beautiful I know you hate us Venice I know you hate every time these past clowns come over there
and trounce all over your shit I know but you really got a treasure like I got like an international
treasure of a city and I hope that you find the balance of italy yeah all of italy really but I
just love Venice after night took our baby moon there.
We also stayed on the grand canal on a room,
overlooking the grand.
It's just like wonderful.
The whole scene was wonderful.
So they get there and he,
he says at one point I started to see it.
He was in the United States,
I always feel a sense of embarrassment or a sense of
self-consciousness.
When I walk in and I go to a restaurant with a woman that's so much older than I am,
right, and that's obvious, and she is like wants to make it known that I'm her guy, right?
Yeah.
Hand in the back pocket on the ass, you know, kissing over the table, you know, come
give me a hug, you know, sit over here with me, that kind of stuff.
Okay.
He always felt like a sense of a little shame about that because he's like, I'm like a guy.
It's unconventional.
It's unconventional.
It's, it's, he knows everyone in the room is looking at him.
And then he says, also, there's a lot, sometimes I go to a bar and it's like a lot of hot
girls and it's like, I'm totally being smothered by my grandma, right?
It's, it's a little weird.
I didn't think about that.
So this is like the hardest part of the situation.
We're behind closed doors.
I just kind of let it fly.
But when we're not, I kind of crimp up a little bit.
I feel a little bit weird to that.
Yeah, self-conscious.
He goes, when I get to Venice and we're get all settled
and we start going in and out of these nice restaurants
and these corner cafes and all this other stuff,
I feel free.
He said, because I look around the room
and there are other situations that are unconventional.
There are men much older than the women.
There are women that have younger men with them.
He's like, there seems to be no sense of that kind of love affair.
Yeah, they don't give a shit.
I love his love.
It is what it is.
It is what it is.
The headlines we're done.
The headlines.
Oh my God, I was laughing.
Hey Chris, it's me.
It's Ron.
I'm down here in New Orleans and I don't have a ride home.
That's because DinkleDork left me here after beating me senseless with a metal lighter.
But you know how it goes. The hard ones, what the hard ones?
I was cracking up. I'm not up the other day.
Like, all of a sudden it just came to my mind I was
I want to the whole world
It's short films
Oh look the police officers are here to arrest her
Well I guess I go bail her out because the heart wants what the heart wants
I gotta go get some stitches now I'll be back I'm glad you're hard stopped wanting that. Well, I have to say. Well, my heart stopped doing all the talking.
I figured out nothing else in my body wanted what I wanted.
That's the intervention I realized.
It wasn't a healthy situation.
That's the seventh intervention, by the way, that's the first.
So, you know, the art wants what's on the heart of the day.
And in Europe, it's just one of those things.
So, they are galavanting around Europe
and they are doing it right, staying in the nicest of hotels.
They went, that's all amazing.
Marlin had only been skiing a couple times in his life.
So then they travel up to,
I can't remember if it's a Switzerland or Germany
or somewhere they go and they go to a really nice ski resort
and she's not into it,
but she like decks them out with all the least and greatest
that he's not going to travel back with
because that's just not what he's going to do, right? And so she's like, whatever, just, you know,
get it and I'll be here at the spa day and you go ski.
And he's like, I'm skiing.
So, he gets the ski ride, they're skiing.
So these are the one like entanglement
in the whole situation.
Okay.
So she goes to this first spa day,
he's gonna go for a ski day.
So he's leaving early, she's leaving early,
they agree they'll meet back at the hotel room when it's time for bed because she's gonna go for a ski day. He's leaving early, she's leaving early. They agree they'll meet back at the hotel room
when it's time for bed, because she's gonna go do this,
whatever, facial, messa, and then she's gonna meet
some person that she knows or whatever.
For dinner and I know, okay.
So he is skiing and he takes a break.
And he's like, he's skiing like the bunny hills, right?
So he takes a break and he goes to the lodge
or the ski, whatever, I don't know what the fuck you call it.
He goes there and he's having a cup of whatever,
you know, Bailey's, yeah.
And he's having a hot toddy and he meets a hot toddy.
He meets like a really attractive French woman
who speaks English, who is there with a couple of her friends.
She is single and she is in her mid 20s
and he says she is gorgeous, right?
And she's like, right up his alley. She's got this beautiful accent. They're getting
a little tipsy. They're sit, you know, the fire's roaring. You know, he's like, this is
the type of woman that I would devour in bed because this is my type, my body type,
my face type, my personality type. And the girls were like,
this guy's exactly my type, Rich.
Yes, and he's so rich.
Did you see a $10,000 scheme?
I know, look at everything, guys.
Yeah.
He's got $17,000 scheme,
and he's wearing a money on the scheme.
That's a little much, don't you think?
Is that a Rolex?
That's two Rolexes. The hard ones, don't you think? Is that a Rolex? That's two Rolexes.
The hard ones, what the hard ones?
So yeah, you can imagine how this is,
and he's like, yeah, this is going.
Sparks have been sparked.
That's right, 30, 40, it's like midday,
30, 45 minutes in, he's like totally smitten
with this woman, right?
And she's like, well, we're gonna go down into town and we're gonna go have some drinks, right? And the little
whatever village where we go have some drinks down there in the next hour.
A little village versus a few.
I know.
I know.
I've spent so much time there, I just love it. And they're just tiny.
Yeah.
They have the best food and everyone's generally pretty welcoming. So anyway, so he's
like, I make a bad decision,
and I decide that I am indeed gonna go have drinks
with these girls, but the agreement wasn't,
I was just gonna stay on the ski slopes.
The agreement was, let's spend the day apart
and we'll meet back together at the end of the night.
He's like, I'm not done anything wrong,
I'm not making out with anybody,
but I just found a couple of people
that I found interesting, and I decide to go have drinks
with them.
Well, he goes down into the village to have drinks with him,
and she starts blowing up his phone. So now he's like two hours into this interaction with this woman Well, he goes down into the village to have drinks with him and she starts blowing up his phone
So now these like two hours into this interaction with the woman
And he's like she's like blowing up the phone like where are you at? What are you doing blah blah blah?
Wow and he's like damn. That's like not completely unlike her, right?
he
Text back after like half an hour and he says I'm down in the village
I met some new friends were down here having an hour and he says, I'm down in the village, I met some new friends
were down here having a drink.
And she says, I know, I saw you walking down the street
with your new friends, and I want you to come back
to the room immediately, right?
And he was like, what the fuck do I do?
He makes the right call, and I think the the right call and he decides to go back to
the, if you're involved with somebody and you're going to trip with them, you don't leave
for another woman. That's just a really bad idea. And regardless of what kind of un, un,
you know, common situation is going on, you don't leave somebody and your flight home depends
on her, right? It's going gonna be hard to get a flight home
if she turns off your credit card, you know what I'm saying?
So for all the reasons set above and the hard ones,
he aborted the mission.
He aborted the mission and he said that she had,
he had never seen her so angry that she was usually in life pretty like level-headed
and he had never seen her so angry.
She thought that he had like purposefully met up
with these people like he saw him going,
she was having lunch in the village
and he saw him, she saw him go into this bar
with these lids.
It's a beautiful friend's wedding.
Yeah, and he thought this was all set up
and she got really like upset about this.
And he said it took a good day and a half to clear the gunk away.
And then they got on with life.
You know, then everything was fine.
He like, he had to give her head to the boss.
Yeah, I was gonna say he paid for it.
Found her for a better life.
Oh yeah, it's like, like, like $3,000, double jose.
Take two if you're only this, dudes.
So they move on with their trip that ended in France, that ended in Paris, in Paris.
Oh, a city of love, a city of white.
They had a moment in the city of lights.
She said, I could see myself spending the rest of my life with you.
Oh.
How do you feel?
And Marlon said, lying to her, I also think I could spend the rest of my life with you.
It's like, dude, I should have never said those words.
Because now I think that, you know, she might be expecting that there's some comfort
of, and because of the way she is, she may propose to me.
Like, she might be the one that proposes to me.
He said early on in the relationship, she said she was never going to get married again
because of the bad divorce that she had been through.
But since then, she had softened up her opinion about that.
And now he's afraid she's going to ask for a hand.
She's going to take care of her when she's old.
She's already older.
She's like one minute away from depends.
The lady's old. I mean, she's old, Chrissy.
This we're not talking like in her 50s. Yeah, we're talking like she's rounding the corner to 70.
Okay. So this is 40 year age gap, oh, not 40, 30 year age gap almost.
Okay. That's a lot. Would you bargain for that?
Let's say this. Just just riddle me this.
Take, take Jeff, because I know you don't like to think outside of the Jeff tunnel.
Let's take the Jeff tunnel and push Jeff 20 years older.
And you just meet him.
And you like everything about him.
He's great, he's wonderful, he's lovely.
But he's rounding the corner into being a full-blown senior citizen
where you're going to have to take care of him,
and there is no doubt.
If you commit to him for the rest of your life.
Now, I know that you love Jeff no matter what.
Yeah, I would do it, but also I'm gonna say this,
because I did at one point date a much older man than me,
and I'll tell you, it didn't get very far,
and the reason is, we were from two totally different
like universities. Like universities. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like totally. Yeah.
Like any kind of shows you remember from his childhood were way out of my realm.
I didn't know those. Yeah. I like, it wasn't a common like relation.
You didn't know the Mr. Ed show. Yeah, I did. They're like from Nick at night.
The Sullivan show. Yeah. So it was just that we were so far apart
and that I could, we,
I couldn't really get into the next stage
of forming that really great bond.
I, you know, Asher and I have a greater age difference
than you and Jeff.
Yes.
Much greater age difference than you.
But you're not that, that.
Well, yeah, Asher and I,
this is like the honest to God truth.
Like I'm not, this is not a TCB Brian, this is like the honest to God truth like I'm not this is not a tcb
Brian this is Brian speaking I would know Brian here. Yeah, Brian here. Hey, it's Brian here
The reality for us I
Think had we ever talked about our age difference it would have become a problem
But never not once except for fleeting
moments where it was unnecessary to discuss. Have we ever talked about our age difference
because we don't feel like there is an age difference. It's obvious I'm growing older fast,
you know, I'm older and things affect me differently than they affect her. But we don't
talk in that way because we don't feel that age difference. No. It's like a true baseline love.
Now, when I'm 70, when I'm 85,
and she's in her 70s, will it become an issue?
It's possible that it could become an issue, right?
Well, you'll just be in the hall with me.
But when you're certain, yeah.
Keep those episodes coming!
Okay. Yeah Keep those episodes coming Okay
Can I get some new teeth? I don't think so not this month honey. It's only a million dollar check for these
364,000 episode of the commercial break
The reality for Marlin is much different. Yes. Because there is a 35 year age difference,
I think is what he said, 35 years.
In another decade, he's gonna have to really consider
whether or not he's willing to take care of someone
who is probably going to be in the senior citizen home.
Like, you know, when you get up to 70,
I know that there's people in their 80s and 90s
that are like, like, like, Papa Joe.
That are just doing it.
But that's not everybody, that's not most people.
Most people when they turn in 85-ish,
you know, you're starting to need help
to do certain things, like just for daily care,
living and stuff like that.
Now, could he take a distance and get in the will?
That's a consideration.
Does he have children and has he met them if so?
That is a fantastic question
that I don't think we've ever broached that subject,
but I will ask.
Yeah.
I don't think so.
I'm sure you would have mentioned it, don't you think?
I don't know.
We'll ask him.
You know, this question is coming out, Marlon.
So just text me the response anyway.
But I do have to say that I think this rather
unconventional love story has turned more convention than we thought?
I think so, I like it!
I like it too!
I like it as long as it's fun.
Yeah.
You're having fun and, you know, there's some type of something that's happening because
this is really only been going on for four months?
Four months?
Yeah, four months.
I'm rooting for them.
I honestly am.
I always say there's like a six month mark.
Oh yeah.
There always seem to be a six month mark.
Six days, six weeks, six months, six years.
So I was like, ee.
Oh, the heart wants what the heart wants!
The heart wants what the heart wants!
And if your heart wants more TCB,
you can go to DCBFodcast.com.
You can find out more about Chrissy and I.
You can watch all the video, you can listen to all the audio.
It's all right there at tcbpodcast.com,
but more importantly, we want to hear from you.
Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas.
You need advice, you want to ask us a question.
You have a story to tell or you just want to share with us
something about your personal life.
We would love to hear it.
And don't worry, I won't just put it on air automatically, I'll ask you first.
But you know what you do?
You go to tcbpodcast.com, you hit the contact us button, and then you fill in that form,
it comes straight to us and we will respond.
Or you can dial anywhere in the world, toll free.
That means Marlon over there in France, can text me at 855-TCB8383.
That's 855-TCB8383.
Text, leave a voicemail, it's toll free, we'll pick up the tab anywhere in the world.
That is the new TCB hotline.
855-TCB8383.
Okay, I'd also like you to do a favor and go to youtube.com slash the commercial break. We edit these
videos with visual and audio that you don't hear here on the podcast so you can
go and watch it again and find it twice as funny. Actually I think Morgan might
make us twice as funny as we are. I mean it's a kind of a low bar but you know
she does her best. So we want to thank Morgan. She's always doing a wonderful job.
Our brand new editor, Christina, I
No longer spend all my nights in the studio and asked her doesn't know what to do with me
She's like, I don't even know what to do with you now that you're here. Can you go back in the studio?
Then there are another podcast you can work on. We'll figure it out honey. I promise
so
You know in the course of a day
There's only so much that you can get to and I had lots of other stuff to get to so I guess we'll push it to a second episode. You know, there's gonna be another one two seconds from now
So don't worry about it. I love you my friend. I love you dear Brian. And best to you. Oh best you Chris
Bestie Brian and best you out there on the podcast universe until next time. We always say we do say and we must say
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