The Commercial Break - Hey Mother..Shut Those Kids Up!

Episode Date: November 26, 2021

Bryan explains to Krissy how complicated going out eat has become with children. He shares a story about a recent trip to eat at a restaurant that ended with a visit to NINE restaurants! Then they dis...cuss how different the dining experience can be in Europe. Bryan is reminded of a stroll around a Spanish village with his extended family that ended in a 3 hour walk to lunch...right where they began. Finally, Bryan shares Thanksgiving video with Krissy from 1950's created by the U.S. Government. It's safe to say that times are VERY different now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Ah, welcome back to WSHIT's continuing coverage of Holiday Season 2021! It's that time of year again when Krab Appliens gather around the Christmas stick, join hands around the Yule knob and spin the Drazel. But don't forget what this holiday season is truly about, getting brand new expensive shit with your Starbucks gift cards. Of course it's a busy time of year for crab apples municipal airport. Let's go live now to the marathon rentacar where plenty of family members are just coming in to get ready for the holiday shopping crush.
Starting point is 00:00:35 Manager Lisa Drenkel is there. Lisa is with a customer now. Let's listen in. Welcome to Marathon. May I help you? Yes. How may I help you? Yes. How may I help you? You can start by wiping that fucking dumb ass mile of your rosy fucking cheeks.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking dazon, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick, for fucking wheels and a seat. I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me. And I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me. And I really don't care for the way you're company. Let me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really don't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway
Starting point is 00:01:17 and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car. Right fucking now. Hey, I see your rental agreement. Through it away. Boy. Oh boy, what?
Starting point is 00:01:44 You're a fast. Well be careful Mr. Potty Mouth or Shantish Nas is not going to leave you any Christmas presents under the Christmas stick. We'll be back after this commercial break. Gable Gable. On this episode of the commercial break. Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, reminds me of a sex partner I had one time. Good time.
Starting point is 00:02:19 I wonder where that person is. Sometimes I wonder where that person is and who's in like if she has she settled down. I think that last time I saw there there was maybe an engagement. Yes, she settled. And I just wonder what man was accepting that kind of drama going on in the bed. There's somebody for everybody. I say sexually. If someone was making a turkey noise, would you be okay with that?
Starting point is 00:02:39 No, but just all of a sudden started making turkey noises. Would you be okay with that? Maybe now at this point I would spice things up. Gobble, Gobble, circle, you man. Come on, give me that gobble. Yeah. And it was right there that I came in, right in the thick of it.
Starting point is 00:02:57 Everyone shut up! Yeah! If dad's drunk again and I don't want to hear all your pick a clackin' about turkey. Now, polish my shoes, whatever your name is! Daught a number two! Uh... Hair Joe?
Starting point is 00:03:15 Paper? A palm-aid. A palm-aid? Yeah? The horse and carriage? I think it's horse and carriage. This bicycle's in 1947? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Oh, sure it was. Yeah, they were back in the 1800s. Yeah, yeah. The hair, the horse and carriage. I think it's horse and carriage. It's bicycle's in 1947. Oh sure it was. Yeah, they were back in 1900. You know those French guys who rode the ones with the big front wheel. Yes, I love those. Yeah, you see them on wallpaper occasionally in a bathroom at a Taco Bell. You know what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:03:42 The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Ah, it's another episode of the commercial break! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Best of you out there in the podcast audience, how the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this commercial break, the commercial break! The only commercial break that you need. I promise you. And the only happy holidays. The only happy holidays anywhere to be found.
Starting point is 00:04:16 Well, not anymore, because it is everywhere now. It's just full on the second that Halloween is over. And in some cases, not even the second before. Yeah, Target had it before. Target and what's that other place? The place with all the crazy people running it. Hobby Lobby. Yeah, Hobby Lobby. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:31 You walk into Hobby Lobby and it's like, dude, Christian nature of art, whatever. They've just big sign out front that talks about like Christianity and how we love our values and the God and Jesus and all this other stuff. You don't have to say all that shit. Like, I like Hobby Lobby just fine. I'm gonna buy shit from you.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Don't inundate me with your bullshit, right? Just, in my opinion, like just leave it out of there, right? You don't have to get all crazy and leave the sign out front. We were out with the kids the other day doing a little Christmas shopping, speaking of Christmas shopping. And you know, the kids get hungry eventually.
Starting point is 00:05:01 You gotta feed them. They're like little dogs. Eventually, you just gotta give them some food. Water them, you know. Yeah, once the ribs start showing, you got a freedom they're like little dogs eventually just got to give them some food water them yeah once their ribs start showing you have to feed them something or my daughter screams loud enough that girl's like a trash can chilly yeah so we're down at the old town square of whatever neighborhood is you know whatever city is close to us here and they have like I don't know let's say 20 restaurants within walking distance so you park you know how it is the European town square type of model
Starting point is 00:05:26 That's very popular right now. It's like outdoor malls, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, like it. Yeah, outdoor mall out to our town square I very much love that Europe. I like the European system that way that they have these little town squares where you live or you work and you play It's very concentrated. I live in one. Yeah, exactly And so we went to one of these and the kids are hungry. So we decide, oh, let's go grab a bite to eat. We must have walked into nine different restaurants. Oh no. And for some reason or the other, we had to leave those eight different restaurants.
Starting point is 00:05:59 They're packed. Not packed, just different reasons. Let me give you an example. We walk into restaurant number one, and you know, it's busy in there. It's football, and they walk into a restaurant number one and it's busy in there. It's football and they have some TVs and Saturday football and the TVs are in there. And so we say, oh, how long is the wait, ma'am?
Starting point is 00:06:11 And she says, oh, not long at all. 15, 20 minutes and you'll be seated. Okay. Sure. That's my last word. And then everybody's doding over the kids. They're so cute and so adorable and all this. And I'm thinking to myself,
Starting point is 00:06:23 I think in 15, 20 minutes we can make this work. Yeah. The kids are interacting with somebody They'll be fine and Astro looks over to me. She goes, do you smell that and I'm like it's a barbecue restaurant By the way, and I'm like smell what? And by the way, I have a hose like a nose. I have nose like a hose I can smell dog shit from a mile away like I can smell anything anywhere my super my Super strength is my smell my smelling ability. It's amazing Because you have sinus. I have sinus issues a little left and right.
Starting point is 00:06:48 But if the dog poops on one side of the house within a second, I know that she's good. In a second, I can smell it. And I can suss it out, right? I'm like a little, I'm like a little hound dog. So I say, I don't smell anything. I smell the barbecue. It smells like wet, like wet clothes.
Starting point is 00:07:04 And I'm like, oh, I think you're smelling the barbecue for the first time. Like American barbecue. She never been to an American barbecue restaurant. Yeah, it doesn't really smell like wet clothes. No, not at all. But what I broke it, that's what she's just striving at. I'm trying to make it.
Starting point is 00:07:15 We've already been here in 10 minutes. Please, can we stay? Nope. Well, and I understand. Because if I smell something nasty in a restaurant, I wouldn't stay either, right? And that's why I'm appetizing. So I tell the lady, sorry we're going to try a different day. We walk into a restaurant, I wouldn't stay either, right? And that's why I'm advertising. So I tell the lady,
Starting point is 00:07:25 and sorry we're gonna try a different day. We walk into another restaurant, and it's clear that that restaurant isn't conducive with the child atmosphere, right? There's just a bunch of people sitting around, drinking and yelling and screaming. And I'm like, no, not for the kids, so we walk into that one.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Then we walk into a third restaurant. It's a tiny little place, but they have a couple of low tables and a couple of high tables. Every seat is taken, except for one high table. Well, we can't sit kids at the high table because of 17 feet in the air. And if one of those kids falls off the chair, what are we going to do? You know, they should really make those high high chairs. They should.
Starting point is 00:07:55 It's a high high chair. High high chair. High high chair for the one that's high. That's right. For the high time. You can give them a little melatonin that night. They're like, oh, so unfortunately, we have to leave this round stress rot,
Starting point is 00:08:08 but as we turn around, there's a nice couple sitting right at the table, a young couple, having just a drink in there, playing like board games, they have board games on the table. That's fun. And so the couple says, hey, are you guys wanna eat here? And I said, oh, but you know, we can't sit at the high top, so we're leaving, but thank you, you know.
Starting point is 00:08:21 No, no, no, no, we'll move to the high top. Oh, wow. That's very nice. Are you sure? No, no, of course, yeah, it's not a big deal. We'll just take our game. We'll go over there. We're just having some drinks. Well, thank you very much. The young couple, like maybe 2122. I would do that. I probably would too if I had noticed it, right? And so they jump up to the table. They move all of their stuff. We get all of the kids situated. It's one of those places where you have to walk up in order. We grab the menus. we're looking at it,
Starting point is 00:08:46 and it's like, you know, let's give an example. Like pineapple hot dog with coleslaw and raisins. Oh, it was gourmet. It was like, not gourmet, it was Caribbean, but yeah, it says burgers on the outside, but when you get on the inside, the burger. It's like Caribbean or Caribbean? Caribbean. In my opinion. Is it? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Is it? Are you looking at me for answers? I mean, Slido, which Slido Richie's Caribbean Queen? Caribbean Queen. No, I don't know. I heard it a different way. I think it says Caribbean. I don't know. If you go down there, what do they say? I've been down to the Caribbean, but I don't think I've ever asked anybody to say the word out loud. It could go either way. Hey, you know what? If you have any information on whether or not it said Caribbean or Caribbean, please let us know at TCBpodcast.com or send us a name. I say Caribbean to just for reference, but But that's a good question. That's a good question. So it's all this crazy food, right? Like the burgers are filled with you know, I don't know. It's not maybe kid friendly.
Starting point is 00:09:45 No, there's nothing kid friendly about it quite frankly. I don't know. It's both friendly either. And as I look around I see most of the people are drinking and almost not that I'm reading. Just drinking. Yeah, they're just drinking. They're having a cool spot to drink and play board games.
Starting point is 00:09:55 That's it. Okay, so, Asher and I are sitting here. Now we have this whole debate. Right. I just asked these people to move from their table. Yeah. Where they were so comfortable. And now we're right next to them.
Starting point is 00:10:04 And now we're we just got settled and now we're going to be the dickheads to get up and just wait. Never mind. Yeah. So I'm like, I don't know. I think we just wanted to eat the, eat the razor. I hate the fine apple and razor. She's like, she's like, I don't think this is going to work.
Starting point is 00:10:16 And I'm like, we don't know what to say. So I, I stand up and I go, let me buy you guys a drink. Right. I'm trying to soften the blow. I'm like, let me go back. You guys are drinking so nice of you. No, no, no, no, no. It's cool. Wait, you know, we're, it's fine. No, no, no, no, no, it's cool.
Starting point is 00:10:25 You know, we're, it's fine. Please, no, it's, you know, it's just common courtesy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, then let me have you drink. What are you drinking there? Is that a, what is that a frothy tip or whatever? What are, you know, what kind of drink are you have? I don't know, it looks like a fruity drink.
Starting point is 00:10:37 It was perfect. No, no, that is definitely a Caribbean drink. That is a frothy tip. Yes. That's six. That's six. Sand in the ass is another one. So I'm trying to get these people to like agree
Starting point is 00:10:48 and they keep on saying no. They're like no, no, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop, that's enough, that's enough. And so I go back to answer. You have children to feed. I know, you have children to feed. And I'm, as I go back to answer, I can't back to your table.
Starting point is 00:10:58 I go, it didn't work there. They won't accept my drink. So I don't think I can soften the blow somehow. So literally three minutes of whispering between Astro and I go on and I know these people can tell what's going on. You know, they're just like they're of course they we just moved to their tables. Of course they're gonna. People watch us for tests. Yeah, we know what's happening.
Starting point is 00:11:14 So eventually I just stand up and I say, oh man, you know, allergies. I don't think we can have this kind of food like it's allergies. Good allergies. That was a good say. Yeah, and then we just leave, and you know, you could tell that these people were horseshit. We did this, I swear to God, nine restaurants. We did this until we found the ninth restaurant that we could finally eat at.
Starting point is 00:11:33 When do you have kids, it reminded me of a time that we were in Europe with Astrid's dad, on a small village in Spain. In Spain, 12, 30 to 3 o'clock is lunchtime. And then they close again till six or seven. Feast, yeah. You take a siesta.
Starting point is 00:11:49 If you don't get in that restaurant and order your food by three o'clock, you will not eat until seven o'clock because nowhere else is going to also be open. No, it's not a McDonald's on the corner, it's not a Chick-fil-A, there's nothing. If you don't eat in one of these little tiny little restaurants, you are not eating and if you don't order your food and get it at the table
Starting point is 00:12:05 by three o'clock, you are not going to eat anything until seven o'clock. It's 12.45, and we get arrived in this town, and Daniel, my father-in-law, starts walking up and down the streets, looking at all the menu boards, because they put the menu boards up. They do, they have those out, I like that. Yeah, I like that too. But that's all they offer for lunch. It's like, you get one of these three things,
Starting point is 00:12:25 but you get everything. You get an appetizer, a salad, an appetizer, a meal, and then a little cookie or a treat or something like that, right? And then you can have a beer with it too. And it's, you know, seven euro or whatever. Yes. So he starts walking up and down the street,
Starting point is 00:12:37 looking at the boards, walking in, walking back out. He must, he must go into 46 fucking restaurants. The entire village, every restaurant in the entire village and we are following him around for hours. And everybody's just getting fucking hungry. We're all like, what in the fucking, we just eat somewhere? I'm with my brothers, by the way. And Danny is like, flippin' his shit.
Starting point is 00:12:55 He's like, I don't fucking care. Just go get it. He's picking one. I just pick one. I like 247. Guess which restaurant, Daniel picks. The very first restaurant in Arkansas. He's like, this one looks good.
Starting point is 00:13:08 And I'm like, did you have to go to every single restaurant in Spain to figure that one out? And he's like, well, I just, this one is a bit, you know, you gotta check her out. Yeah, you gotta make sure you wanna, if it's not crowded, then it's not good. You gotta go to the crowded restaurants. That's the other thing in your office that everybody says,
Starting point is 00:13:23 if it's not crowded, it's not good. So don't go there. It's unfuckin' believable. When you have kids or a father-in-law and you're trying to get something to eat quickly, never happens. Oh my gosh. I wanted to say that happy Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 00:13:41 Well, happy Thanksgiving to you. Thank you. Gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble, gobble. Reminds me of a sex partner I had one time. Good time. I wonder where that person is.
Starting point is 00:13:55 Sometimes I wonder where that person is and who's in like, if she has she settled down. I think last time I saw there was maybe an engagement. Yes, she settled. And I just wonder what man was accepting that kind of drama going on in the bed. There's somebody for everybody. I say sexually. If someone was making a turkey noise,
Starting point is 00:14:11 would you be okay with that? No, but just all of a sudden started making turkey noises. Would you be okay with that? Maybe now at this point, I would spice things up. Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, turkey man. Come on. Give me that, Gobble.
Starting point is 00:14:23 I mean, we've been together almost 10 years, so. What if you put like, what do they call us things? If it wasn't in the beginning, the beginning, that might have been a turn off, but now, hey, Jeff, you're listening. Well, I don't know about Jeff, but my balls are starting to look like that little part of the neck on the turkey, so.
Starting point is 00:14:40 The givelet, the givelet. The givelet. What if Jeff just stood up with like fake tale feathers in a Ghibli on his neck? It was like, hey honey, I don't know what's going on, but every, uh, I like a spicy turkey too. When I was a kid, I fucked a turkey. And I just, I've been waiting to bring this out. What is on the table?
Starting point is 00:15:02 You got me now, I'm already in love with you. You lick my fake Ghiblet while I make turkey noises. Yes, I will. Oh, oh, oh. I would hope that if I brought in the turkey scenario that Astrid would love it. But you know, God bless her. Whatever, you know, whatever she's into,
Starting point is 00:15:16 she's into and whatever noise that she makes. Listen, I've no silent bob either when it comes to the bedroom. Oftentimes Astrid is like, well, we can't have sex because my parents are within 75 yards of us because you can't shut up. Oh! I do have a question that I was thinking about this.
Starting point is 00:15:36 How does Astrid love Thanksgiving? Because it's American. It's American holiday, they're right. Yeah, but they know about it in Venezuela. They do it and you embrace it. I mean, it's about food and things. It's about food and family and bright. Yeah, but they know about it in Venezuela. They do it and you embrace it. I mean, it's about food and things. It's about food and family and grateful. One of the things I like about food and things.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I agree. And one of the things I love about Thanksgiving is it's a non-denominational event. I understand, let's just put aside for a second that the pilgrims were slaughtering the Indians and all that other shit. Let's put that aside for just a second. I just want to take like the pure nature of Thanksgiving which at the end of the day is Being grateful for the things that you have and the people that are around you. Let's just take it at face value That's exactly what it is and forget all about all the programs and Indians and all that bullshit
Starting point is 00:16:15 I just love the fact that it's the beginning. It's kind of the kickoff to Christmas right and that it's a day When there's no other purpose except to get together with the people that you love, eat a little bit of food, watch a horrible holiday movie, and some football, right? And it just feels good to me. And then you get the whole week end off, it just feels great to me. Like it's just one of my favorite holidays.
Starting point is 00:16:37 It is, it's nice. This time of year is lovely. And Thanksgiving is like the official kickoff and it kicks off the right way. I love it. And it's very, very different than it was last year. God remember, we had just started the studio last year. Yeah, I think we were just had.
Starting point is 00:16:50 We were nervous, you know, I was getting tested every day. It definitely before I came over here. We, you know, we had the camera down the ground. We had the camera on the floor. Pointed up. Torch showing my ghibli. We were over here and I was showing you ghibli. I was like, you're going with that.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Oh my god, that was so. I wore my fun glasses, my sparkly Christmas glasses, and we tried to make it fun, but I do remember it was the stack as Jeff and I just got together because my mom passed away last year. So it was just my dad and my grandfather, and it was just Jeff and I. It was just the fun.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Yeah, I know. I mean, we got together. We were, we were jerky friends. Yeah. We got together, but it was very quick, and everyone had to test, and some people didn't feel comfortable testing, so they didn't test.
Starting point is 00:17:36 So it was just a couple of us here, and it felt very sad in general. Why, why, why, if you're going to like a Thanksgiving with 30 people? What's my, why am I in Los here last Thanksgiving? I think they were. They were. Why? The serum going to like a Thanksgiving with 30 people. What's my, what might in-laws hear last Thanksgiving? I don't know. I think they were.
Starting point is 00:17:49 They were. Yeah, I think they were. I think they helped set up the studio. Yeah, like Thanksgiving through Christmas, I think they were here last year. Anyway, it was not the regular Thanksgiving. It didn't feel great to me. I still enjoyed the day because I had the children and I loved it. But it made me think, like, you know, it didn't make me think it made me go Google
Starting point is 00:18:05 stuff and maybe go on the internet. And Google thing for you. Yeah, I wonder what Thanksgiving was like back in the day. Like I wonder let's think through the actual true evolution of Thanksgiving to what it is today. The day before shopping, you know, the day where there's football, the day where everyone sits, eats, farts, and then falls asleep, you know, the day where there's football, the day where everyone sits, eats, farts, and then falls asleep, you know. What was it back then? And I found a rare gem. I actually had to buy this video. I had to buy this video.
Starting point is 00:18:33 Wow. A video about a Thanksgiving in it's an American, it's a US government propaganda video about Thanksgiving. And man, I gotta tell you. You love Thanksgiving sex. Ehh. Ehhhh. Gable Gable.
Starting point is 00:18:47 What? What? What? Hey guys it's that time in the show for the commercial break. It's the commercial break inside of the commercial break. Go to www.tcbpodcast.com to learn more about Chrissy and I. Read all the show notes. Listen to all the audio and watch all of the video. Also, you can get your free TCB collectible sticker. Right there on the website, click on the button that says, I want my free sticker.
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Starting point is 00:24:32 Let's go to financial freedom and beyond, go to helloplaybook.com slash TCB and look out for future updates on my use with playbook. This episode is sponsored in part by beachbound.com. Playbook. flights, hotels, transfers and excursions all from one location at beachbound.com. They are committed to building the best beach experiences that fulfill all of your cravings and curiosities. Because to beachbound.com, the beach isn't just a place, it's a way of life. And man, we couldn't agree more. We've vended this website hundreds and hundreds of hotels, excursions for every member of the family, your transfers,
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Starting point is 00:25:57 Let me say this for those of you that are curious. Frankie, B, people, fucking love it. They love it. I got so much great feedback. I mean, it never disappoints. At least not to us, we think it's hilarious. be people fucking love it. They love it. I got so much great feedback. I mean, it never disappoints. At least not as we think it's hilarious. I think it's great.
Starting point is 00:26:10 We thought everybody else would think it was. And Frankie has put out a cache of videos since then. And so you know we're going back to it. We'll probably get to it around Christmas time. Just I just want to thank all the people from the ReSpaul Valley. Frankie B. Christmas Special. Frankie B. Christmas Special.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Now there's an idea. A week of Christmas B. Two weeks of Frankie Christmas special. Yeah, Franky be Christmas special. Now there's an idea, a week of Christmas be, two weeks of Franky be, because we have enough material. Trust me, he's just producing videos every day now. It seems like, okay, are you ready? Yes. US government, film about Thanksgiving from 1947.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Ooh, I'm out of the 40s. Take a look, let me make sure it's all set up. You know, I got a double check on my shit, because you know how I fuck shit up Ladies and gentlemen Thanksgiving the way it's supposed to be Let me just say this this is clearly a Around here they just call me dead around here the call me asshole
Starting point is 00:27:15 Around here they just call me dad around the brothel they call me daddy Around this strip club they call me mr. Sugarpants around the strip club they call me Mr. Sugar Pants. Let me say this I think that's a hymn from a Christian Bible that's being sung at the beginning of his. So you know, separating church and state clearly wasn't a thing back then. I've been trying to read but I just can't seem to do it. I've been trying to read but they never told me how. What is the world? the script is awful already. Either that or Bill Johnson doesn't know what to act. I've been trying to read and I just can't do it. I'm drunk. Try as my mate.
Starting point is 00:27:55 The words. Carry it all around the game. Hey, you know they ended prohibition about seven years ago and now I like to get drunk and make fun of the children Thanks giving day We Johnson said it thanks giving the best we've ever had I can't help thinking that what made it better was a feeling a real feeling of cocaine Feeling first snored it. Yeah, I can't help it feeling Thanksgiving day. Why did everyone talk like that back then?
Starting point is 00:28:25 Thanksgiving day. Yeah, because this was not the way people were actually talking in real life. No, of course not. They talked just like we do. Thankfulness. And that's odd too, when you consider the shape things were in when I got home from work yesterday.
Starting point is 00:28:37 The floor was a mess. The wife hadn't put away the dishes and I had to get around hitting on everybody. The shape thing were're in yesterday. But you do think like when they make the scripts, they would like, they would write in the tone and texture of what's going on in the day. Nope.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Guess we'll never really know. There was no reality TV back then, so it's hard to tell. Hey, by the way, now we're traveling back to yesterday. So it's kind of a transition of travel back to yesterday. Hey kids, Dick and Tommy and Susan, we're all back to yesterday. So it's kind of a transition to travel back to yesterday. Hey kids, Dick and Tommy and Susan, we're all home from school. And of course, mother and the baby were there. Can't remember the baby's name.
Starting point is 00:29:11 Mother and the baby. We actually don't name children until they're three years old. I know. His mother, the wife. Mother is the wife and that is the creepiest, crazy, the mother. Yeah, that's such a showmanist thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Mother! Mother, get over here and give Bill Johnson a little love on his Johnson. You know what I mean? I'm Bill Johnson and this is my Bill Johnson. Mother in the baby. I don't remember her name, but who gives a shit? I don't remember either one of their names. She may not survive the coal mine, so better not name her until she can walk. His kids will. Mine were living tomorrow right along with today, looking forward to Thanksgiving. And like most men, I'm glad it was mother instead of me who had to break the news to them. Children, Daddy's left us again. Why'd you break wet news? Children, Daddy's left us for the prostitute again. He won't be here for Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 00:30:06 But he wanted me to give you these chores to do around the house while he's gone. It's a mess around here. It's a mess around here. Let's travel back to yesterday. Tomorrow, I'll find skinning. Mmm, turkey, and dressing, and pie, and cake. And daddy's strippers gonna come over and show me your boobs And cocaine next to see an ashish That's something to give thanks by the way no one knew it was Thanksgiving till they checked the newspaper
Starting point is 00:30:38 What you don't see here is that they're reading the newspaper together like the three kids oh It's given tomorrow. Oh, look. Oh, look. How do you do? In fruit salad and whipped cream and cranberries, G. I can hardly wait. Me too. Well, you know children, we've had a lot of expenses this month.
Starting point is 00:30:59 And well, your father and I thought that... We've had a lot of gambling going on on having a father spam No, no, turkey father and I thought that we would eat the turkey and you children can go out and play in the yard It is very yeah, it'll still be Thanksgiving You'll just be a lot more hungry than you were last year Now run along and whatever your name is and shut up Well, the truth of the matter is there just won't be any turkey this year.
Starting point is 00:31:30 No turkey for Thanksgiving? Oh I'm going to make a pumpkin pie. We'll have plenty to eat but we'll just have to get along without turkey. Mom you don't mean it. It won't be Thanksgiving at all. Even the pilgrims had a feast after all isn't that what Thanksgiving's for? That's sad. Yeah, that's kind of sad. It's like a little tiny time Whatever's in my pocket pie, but no turkey. I'm gonna make a pump gonna make three pumpkin pies out of real pumpkins Scrape together a little turkey something. Yeah, I mean, yeah, isn't there like a screw? Instead of, you can go to or something.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Yeah, tiny Tim. Happy Thanksgiving, one and all. Isn't that what Thanksgiving is all about? The slaughter of Indians all, mom. What is it, Turkey? Yeah, back then they probably had wild turkeys just running around. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:19 No, I had wild turkeys last year in my backyard. My parents on Thanksgiving. Wild turkeys. They flock in. Yeah, they flock in like three or four of them just kind of jump to fence. I don't know what they were doing back there, but I thought, oh, well, I guess like we could have that turkey.
Starting point is 00:32:31 But then I don't know. Ow. Yeah. You're dead when out to kill the first living thing he sees. May not be turkey, but possum is good. I brought home dogs. Sparky dad! Well, he's gonna die anyway.
Starting point is 00:32:50 He's a puppy. I didn't say when he was gonna die. I said he'd eventually die and now we're going to eat him and you're going to like it. He's pumpkin by my mom made mother made. Eat your fruit salad. Fruit salad. That's so great. I don't like fruit salad.
Starting point is 00:33:06 It's like a jelly omelet or something. It's weird. It's like a spermis sauce. I agree, my mother used to make it. Yeah. Yeah, reminds me of the K-Y jelly. Yeah. It does.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Is that what you guys were using? That's why you had Matthias and Mia. Oh. It's all coming together. That's all coming together. We had a little help from K-Y. This episode of the commercial break brought to you by K-Y. Slide right into Thanksgiving with K-Y.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Tom and Abel. Yeah. Make sure there's no friction at Christmas with K-Y Jelly. I don't think it's fair. And it was right there that I came in, right in the thick of it. Everyone shut up! If dad's drunk again and I don't want to hear all your bickered clackin' about turkey! Now polish my shoes whatever your name is!
Starting point is 00:33:56 Daught a number two! Hello everybody! Hi, mom. Oh, mother, Dick Susan. Baby. Oh, what's been going on? Baby, unnamed child. We didn't name the child because she's my little
Starting point is 00:34:15 legitimate daughter from my stripper friend. You understand how these things work? Hang on around here. What's the matter with everybody anyway? Mom says we're not going to have anything skipping. No turkey, no good thing. A fat lot, we're going to have to be thankful for. A fat lot of work out of it, thankful for.
Starting point is 00:34:35 One of the bunch of shit heads. Kids are so ungrateful. I know. They're thankful you're getting your pumpkin pie and your dad remembers your name. Yeah. Those two things. That's right. You should be thankful for that. Unbelievable, these children. Thankfully you're getting your punk and pie on your dad remembers your name. Yeah. Those two things.
Starting point is 00:34:45 That's right. You should be thankful for that. Unbelievable, these children. If these were my children. Kids those days. Kids those days. Yesterday. Kids those days.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Yesterday. I don't think you kids really mean that. We do too. We've always had turkey for Thanksgiving. Yes, and everybody else in the box is going to have a tissue. He was always. Well, why don't you go to their house? Yeah. Well, then why don't you call your little friend next door and go on over there.
Starting point is 00:35:12 You don't have a phone? You don't have an iPhone to make that phone call. Well, ain't you shit out of luck. Lights tough, who cares? Yes, we've always had tea. Just as a lot of Americans have had it. And we'll keep on having it Turkey on Thanksgiving's a great American tradition But what you kids are saying makes it sound as if the turkey is the only thing we had to be thankful for Well, do you is no dad? It's not that I mean it is the holiday mascot. Yeah
Starting point is 00:35:40 It is one of those things I Have not had Thanksgiving on a lot of there lot, Turkey is not something we always prepare, because frankly, not a lot of people in my family like Turkey. We just don't think it's like it's not our thing necessarily. So we'll switch it up every year and occasionally we'll have Turkey, but most of the time it's something else, right? So shut up. No cares what you have to think,
Starting point is 00:36:01 Billy and Bobby and daughter number three. Oh, I know, Dick. With Turkey, it's easy to lose sight of what Thanksgiving really mean. I know how to sexy turkey looks to you, dick. That was the teenage boy once too. The breath. What do you think they got the term stuff in? Glistening. Ah, the glistening butter. The glistening butter.
Starting point is 00:36:19 You were touching my hand there. I felt a moment. There was a moment of electricity between you and I. For a second, I thought you were the turkey. I've always wanted that turkey to come to life and just give me a squeeze. I'm not a signer, builder. I know.
Starting point is 00:36:36 All right. All right. Dig. Go stuff the turkey. You're old enough now. Don't think we're just making excuses because we don't have any turkey this year. We... Well, we know it'll mean a lot more to us the next time we do have it.
Starting point is 00:36:49 Well, sure. Suppose we don't have a bang at feast. We're still a lot better off in the pilgrims. That's it, Dick. Do you other kids see what Dick's trying to say? I don't understand. Now. Hey, Dad, Dickson, asshole.
Starting point is 00:37:04 I don't think Dick Hey dad, Dixon asked. Oh. I don't think Dixon's my real brother. He just showed up here last Thursday. Who is this dick guy? Oh, I don't know either. Shut up and stop asking questions. Mother, who's this dick character? Well, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:37:20 I thought he was yours. Turkey or no Turkey. We've still got all the freedoms and privileges the pilgrims gave us. Ah, there you go, now you're in patriot. And out of those privileges have come a lot of things. Things the pilgrims never even dreamed of. Why we could make a list of my long? Why don't we do it?
Starting point is 00:37:38 And now hold on a minute. Now hold on a minute, a lot of miles a long way, and I don't want to have to walk. We can make a list of mile long. What are the things they were probably thankful for? Let's just take a guess before we get into it. Uh... Hair gel.
Starting point is 00:37:54 Paper. A palm aid. Palm aid. Right there. Hair gel, I like that. The horse and carriage. Maybe a bicycle. I think horse and carriage.
Starting point is 00:38:03 This bicycle's in 1947. Oh sure there was. Yeah, they were back in the 1800s. Yeah. You know those French guys, we rode the ones that were in the car. The horse and carriage I think I think horse and carriage It's bicycle in 1947 Oh sure there was yeah, they were back in the 1800s You know those French guys who rode the ones with the big front wheel Yes, I love those Yeah, you see them on wallpaper occasionally in a bathroom at a Taco Bell You know what I'm talking about
Starting point is 00:38:18 You've got the idea But it isn't something you can write down Like, like a grocery list You've got to feel it down deep Before you can write down like, well, like a grocery list, you've got to feel it down deep before you can really be thankful for anything. I'll tell you what let's do. And let's take a little more time to think this over. When you get right down to it,
Starting point is 00:38:36 there are some pretty tough decisions in making up your mind, what means the most to you. Your life? Sure. That's one thing you can't... Your life? In the world of half it. Damn. You've got some really tough decisions to make when thinking about being grateful. I can
Starting point is 00:38:50 don't make the right one. I'm gonna murder you right there. Life? Sure. Life? Sure. That's an easy one. What about your sister and your brother? She was wrong with one of them dying. It's like, what is he talking about? Why is he getting so worked up? Why can't you just say what I'm thankful for?
Starting point is 00:39:07 I have to think about it. Wow, dads were a lot more strict back then. And get along without, but do you know that there are some places in the world today where you have to get along without just about everything else? Golly daddy. I guess I kind of got carried away.
Starting point is 00:39:23 I guess I scared the shit out of you children. I'm not gonna murder you yet. I'm not gonna murder you yet, don't worry. And it'll happen in your sleep, you won't even know. I don't want you to think about it really until nightfall. Be grateful for that. Yeah, be grateful for the fact that your father is only a psychopath late at night.
Starting point is 00:39:39 You ever heard of Dexter Kids? Let me sit around the fire, let me tell you. You ever heard of Jack the Ripper? Let me tell you a little uh thanks giving tell me tell you a sleepy time to story like a dad likes to do let me scare the shit out of you so you will always listen to what I have to say but I'll bet you one thing if we really think over what we have to be thankful for when we sit down to whatever mother fixes to eat tomorrow will be one family in America that will really have a Thanksgiving dinner whatever slap your mother put in front of her whatever
Starting point is 00:40:16 whatever your mom puts in front of you you're gonna eat it and you're like it meanwhile I'll be down at the boys club having a steak in a beer. Cause you know what I'm thankful for? My car, the ability to get out of here without answering any questions. The ability to have complete freedom
Starting point is 00:40:34 without having to answer to anybody like your mother does. 1947 such a great time, isn't it, Chrissy? Oh, great time for a woman. That's right. Such freedoms. You get down on, not only to get to watch the dishes, but you get to choose which slop your feed to children on Thanksgiving. So nice. It's so nice. Riverflag is a glow.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Well, that's how it got started. The Johnson's didn't have any turkey. And the kids, no, I mean everybody, likes to make something special out of a special day. So we fell back on something as old as the pilgrims The kids seemed pissed. Oh, yeah Yeah, it didn't seem grateful at all They were like, oh gee, we're not gonna have a bang up dinner. I don't want to be part of this family I'm running away with the circus Daddy can I turn on the radio because you've just ruined my life I'm running away with the circus. Yeah. You didn't seem happy about it.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Daddy, can I turn on the radio because you've just ruined my life? What am I going to tell Betty at school when she asked what kind of turkey I had? I'm going to have to say none because my dad's a penny-pinchin-ass hole. Toating up the common ordinary blessings that we had to be thankful for. That night I'd see Dick there building his model airplane Toating up the common ordinary blessings that we had to be thankful for. That night I'd see Dick there building his model airplane and Susan just playing. Only they weren't just playing. They were mulling things over, thinking big thoughts for such young heads. It's hard to believe all those thoughts fit in those little skulls.
Starting point is 00:42:04 Yeah, science is blank in there. It's hard to believe all those thoughts fit in those little skulls. Yeah. Science is blank in there. Scientists are now telling us your head collusion explode from thinking too much. Well, I do you know what your kids are thinking about? I can guarantee when they're playing with that model airplane, what they're grateful for is not what they're thinking about. I have little children, you know what they think about? PJ Masks.
Starting point is 00:42:22 That's what they think about. Paw Patrol. Yes. Get me out of my hill, Chrissy. Oh I can't stop singing those songs And that's from mother and Tom and baby Janet and yes me too It was as if we had our eyes open for the first time. Oh Baby Janet I got a baby Janet Named after my stripper girl's Baby Janet adult Janet I
Starting point is 00:42:50 Like to call the mother Janet because it just makes love making a little bit more extra That's right. I have mother and then mother Janet. Oh Love making you know the greatest part about love making in my time is Chrissy You don't have to sleep in the same bed. Yeah. And deal with all, that's right. You don't have to deal with all the, I don't know where women have.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Some complicated piece of machinery down there, but it has all, it makes all kind of noises. It sparks. Yeah, it spews out oil all over the place. It's crazy. It smokes. You know what I do? I go to the other bedroom.
Starting point is 00:43:23 The man's bedroom. That's a nice big bed. And I and I say mother would you like me to replace your straw tomorrow but it's Thanksgiving so I get a hug goes time seeing all the things there were to appreciate in just any ordinary day in America. When Thanksgiving day got here, we took our places around the table and we were ready. And then, well, we all knew it. There are some things you just can't say. But I hate you all. You've ruined my life and I'm moving to Kansas City. Have we stashed words of Thanksgiving day? Yeah, we're not. We're not on Thanksgiving day. Yeah, we're now in Thanksgiving day.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Yeah, we're waking up in Thanksgiving day. But everybody in his own way knew what he had to be thankful for, and that this was the time to think about it. Tom was first. I am thankful for getting plenty to eat all the time, with extras at count, like cookies and milk after school. Like mom says, I'm hungry all the time anyway and if I didn't live in a country where there is praise to who around golly golly golly I'm
Starting point is 00:44:33 also thankful for little Jimmy who I beat up at school and make him give me test answers this is weird creepy music in the background yeah but this is like the wholesome type of shit that you know that the American government felt like they, you know, America is no better than China, really, if you think about it. They're just putting out these weird videos. I think China is just later on, but there's just more technology now. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:57 Do exactly what we were doing. Yeah, they just actually control their populations every move. America was just hoping to get it in your head, so you'd act like this, right? I mean, watch any episode of Leave It To Be Be Ver and you'll see that they were trying to portray life as this picture perfect. I make you feel bad if it wasn't that way. That's right. And I'm thankful for the free public library where I can get books about adventure, Jack London, Richard Halliburton, gee the way they tell a story it's as good as
Starting point is 00:45:27 being there yourself and it's free with only a library card I like to stop and make her was when do they have product placement in PSA videos I'm also thankful for Budweiser the all the magic can be the daddy drinks 17 times the night if it wasn't for Budweiser. The All-American beer, the daddy drinks 17 times the night. If it wasn't for Budweiser, I might have a functional childhood. I had a turkey. Yeah. Find the Budweiser at your local grab and go. Yes, Tommy thought about some of the things he ought to be glad for all the time. Yes. And somehow turkey and trimming seemed to matter a whole lot less than he thought they did yesterday. Because the public library clearly is on the top of any child's list.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Yeah. Well, I mean, I did like the public. I loved it. Yeah. I love it. I still love books. And I did like Jack London. Called The Wild.
Starting point is 00:46:19 It's one of the greats. Well, then it was Susan's turn. Susan's a happy happy go lucky kid. You'd never credit her with thinking beyond her dolls, but she got right into the spirit. I'm so monistic are these things. You never credit her for thinking beyond her dolls because... I don't even know she could think. She is just a feeble woman.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Yeah. I don't even know she had a brain. Hey, they used to not have one. Until this day is giving dinner, I don't even know she spoke. Mother Tata, how to speak. It's amazing. She's going to grow up to do great things. She's going to be a great dishwasher one day. She's going to eye on real swift. I am thankful we have what we need to wear. Though mother says it's hard to keep up with us, we grow so fast. I never thought before how many clothes it takes
Starting point is 00:47:05 for all kinds of weather, or how it would be to have to do without the right ones. And then I will read the little bit more, as if I've done. That's what I'm talking about. Mother is standing behind me with a family rifle. If I don't say these things, I'm sure to lose the brain. The daddy doesn't know I have.
Starting point is 00:47:25 If I don't say these things, I'm sure to lose the brain that daddy doesn't know I have. I'm thankful for the clothes I have and that it covers up every inch of me, so I never have to show skin to the boys outside. I can just see this little girl's face. I'm glad to be able to go to Sunday school or go to any church I want any Sunday. As for playing. Yeah. Christmas. Christian. Yeah. It's all creepy too. And notice she said church. That's in a goger.
Starting point is 00:48:03 I'm gonna ask her anything like that. She said church. Christian church. That's synagogue or my Oscar anything like that. She said church Christian church I'm thankful for my mother and daddy that they are here with us that both of them aren't too worried about things to take time to have fun with us I'm glad we're a family that families are still important in America. Oh Families are still in Florida in America. Family union. Nuclear family. I guess Dick being the oldest was having some pretty serious thoughts. Jenny in my class got boobs yesterday. Sweet. I've
Starting point is 00:48:42 wacked off three times today. I wonder if I can go for four today. I'm gonna break my own personal record. I've literally been humping the walls in my bedroom. I'm grateful for my day. Yeah, I'm grateful for my, I'm grateful for this Johnson. I'm taking a box. Taking a box. I'm grateful for my long, strong erection. And this PSA is brought to you by Viacra. Right.
Starting point is 00:49:08 Yeah. Back then, you know, they had to have something. Some kind of nitrate or something, you. Ancient Chinese medicine. Yeah, ancient Chinese medicine. That's right. The these like tiger blood or something? Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:19 There's a drink on tiger blood. And it's got like 7,000 grams of caffeine. Yeah. It's crazy. I am thankful for being able to get an education, for living more schools, all schools, open their doors to a guy who wants to learn, where school books are studied instead of burn, where a guy is rated by how much he knows knows and the community is rated by how well it teaches him. I'm glad I've got a chance to play betting a ball around once in a while. Stuff like that. Stuff like that, I can't think of anything else.
Starting point is 00:49:56 What child? Ever in the history of ever is thinking, thankful for the public school that he has to go to. Textbooks? Textbooks. Thank you grateful for the public school that he has to go to textbooks textbooks that were being burned, but weren't there burning book burning going on? Oh, yeah, I mean, well, you gotta think that it's time. This is right after World War II, right, right after Hitler's time. So they there was a lot of book burning going on in Germany. So maybe what maybe this is like a propaganda film coming out of the war, what they're trying to, you know, get those nasty communist thoughts out of, uh, uh, Nash, you know, nationalist thoughts out of people's heads.
Starting point is 00:50:27 As counties, as county bastards. I'm glad it's fun growing up in America. Sure, baby Janet's too young to understand the big word Thanksgiving. She'll never understand. But yeah, she'll never understand. But she'll never understand. She's a woman. Yeah. But that's okay. Let's move on.
Starting point is 00:50:50 She's too little even to tell us the things that make her happy. But we can tell. And maybe she's thinking about them now. Maybe she's thinking about the fun of splashing around in the tub. And about... Rub it up, dub. Let's get Janet in the tub. We give Janet a bath once a year, the kids get a bath, and it's a high time here around the house.
Starting point is 00:51:13 Oh, that's a celebration. Yeah, everybody uses the same water. And of course, you know, oldest to youngest, Janice gets the, you know, cold, but still clean water. Yeah. At least it's less dirt than she had on her before. That's what I say. Jan, it smells like a monkey, let's be honest.
Starting point is 00:51:28 The whole house is stinking up. I cannot wait until Fabrizus invented. How good it feels to be clean. About playtime with mother and the security she feels in mother's arms. And as for mother, seem she's always working, cooking, ironing, tending children, daylight to dark. What does she have to be thankful for? Nothing Jim! You don't even ask. Take us out of here. You don't want me to go there. Yeah. You don't understand Jim. Daylight to dusk is right.
Starting point is 00:52:12 That's short-sighting and quite frankly. I sleep three hours a night. You have a litte to the finger in 12 years we've been married. You're an asshole. Yeah. And you got a little dick. And I'm raising Janet's child. That's right.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Janet. Little Janet. Big Janet's child, little dick. And I'm raising Janet's child. That's right. And if I had a little Janet, big Janet's child, little Janet, and if I had a telephone, I'd call for help. But I'm not allowed to use it. I am thankful that my children had the privilege of being born safely and of growing up healthy and strong. I'm thankful that I have the privilege of guiding them as they become useful men and women.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Good man, really, by Dino. The women will come along eventually. And I'm thankful for all the things our American system makes possible. Here we go, the propaganda. For the smiths and the browns and the Johnson's For washing machines about the gold scenes. Yeah, what about the gold scenes are, you know Yeah No, no, no, no, no, Chrissy. Let's not talk about that. This is this is intended for a certain audience People who were allowed to watch it or had or flew enough to get a TV. Yeah. Or be in a movie theater.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Hot water out of a tap. Here's the hot water out of a tap. Here's the crazy part about this is that I think some of these movies were literal, these films were literally shown before like a feature film. Oh, yeah, they used to do that. Yeah, a lot during the World War II and between World War I and World War II and into the 60s I think they would show these short 10 to 15 minute PSAs. Yeah, they had a captive audience.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Yeah, they sure did. Wait and see whatever they could with Greta Garbo on screen. Yeah. Now you got to see this. Now you got to sit to this. Dang it, shit. Yeah. And a telephone to call the doctor when one of the family is sick.
Starting point is 00:54:01 A car to get dad to work. Yes, I'm thankful for all the things free people working together can produce. Yes, I'm thankful for group-think mentality. Yeah. I'm thankful for not having an opinion of my own to rub people the wrong way. Yeah. I'm thankful for not being able to vote because I wouldn't even know who to vote for. And as far as driving is concerned, it sounds like fun, but you know, men really not to handle that stuff much better.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Is that what I gotta say? Is that what you want me to say? Mr. Asshole Director? I find it funny that everyone behind the camera has a dick. And you want me to say this, horse shit? I can't drive, I can't talk. Am I getting paid say this horse shit? I Can't drive I can't talk Am I getting paid for this? I mean no, this is the last in duty You mean my husband gets twenty thousand dollars and what do I get a new towel to wash my dishes with never turkey no turkey for you
Starting point is 00:55:00 I'm thankful that when my neighbor drops into borrow a cup of flour, we can make out because Jim is at home. She's hot. Got the right to talk about anything we want to. The parent teacher project, the new mayor or Jane Jones hat. What? What's Jane Jones hat? They're talking about the pool boys. It's not whatever we love.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Yeah, whatever we love. The woman's hat down the street. The woman's hat? The new mayor? The new mayor, how cute he is. Presidential politics, where we can't vote. The flower. The flower.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Whatever. And we're free. What color I'm going to paint my house next year? Yeah, we're free. We're free to talk about anything except most things. Yes. It's because it's impolite. And last of all, I'm truly thankful for the peace of mind that Dad's job brings. For knowing that even though there are lots of
Starting point is 00:55:55 luxuries we can afford, there still will always be enough to go around for the things we have to have. I'm glad dad doesn't work slave hours. That there are evenings and Sundays and vacations when we can all be together. Let's rewind that for a second. Yeah. Maybe we just say enough there. Yeah. You heard the word. You heard how she used it. I think it's a little too close for comfort if you ask me. It's a 1947. There are plenty of people that are in their 50s who actually probably remember Jim Crow Crow
Starting point is 00:56:32 or Slavery. Right. So that was not cool. And sanctioned by the US government. Yeah. Because you know that the military and the FBI, or whoever, I mean, I know the FBI, yeah, the FBI was 39.
Starting point is 00:56:43 The FBI was reading these scripts. they clearly had to give them approval right that's pretty uh... that's pretty shitty actually yeah but anyway let's move on that's mother for you grateful for what America means to her friend that's mother for you racist that's mother for you shouldn't point. She doesn't like certain kind of people. Similarly, and now for me, I've got so many things to be thankful for. I'm thankful for this house. It may need a coat of paint, it has a mortgage, but it's ours, a place where we can be together in privacy.
Starting point is 00:57:29 And I'm thankful for the thing that makes this house our home. The happiness here, not just today or on Christmas morning, but on a day-to-day basis all through the year. For knowing that a knock on our door means nothing to fear, a friend calling, or maybe a bill collector, or a kid selling magazines. You never know what to expect. Or a prostitute. What is this guy talking about? I'm thankful for this printed paper where I get all of my news fed to me straight from the US government. But you can count on one thing. It's not going to be some political gangster coming to drag one of us off to jail because we believe in freedom. Well, that I agree with. That is good.
Starting point is 00:58:12 And I'm glad that that freedom we've got lets me choose the kind of work I like and can do best, taking a sluggish motor and making it hum again. I'm glad I get to work for a minimum wage here at this, you know, whatever it is. Mechanics. Yeah, down at the mechanics. I'm glad I can pump oil straight from the ground. Yeah. Grass fat oil. Grass. Makes me feel that somebody got to his work or wherever he had to go just because of me. And feeling like that gives me a lot of satisfaction. You know what else gives me satisfaction? Big Jane. She gives me satisfaction too.
Starting point is 00:58:52 I'm grateful for my many mistresses. And the fact that my wife can't go anywhere. So she has to stay with me. Yep. And I'm thankful for my newspaper. Just a few cents worth of printer's ink and paper, but more valuable than any amount of money. Because in it, the editors got the privilege
Starting point is 00:59:10 of printing what he thinks. And I've got the privilege of agreeing with him or not. And I've got the privilege of agreeing with him or not, but I mostly agree with him. This is insane propaganda. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, you don't think, listen, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I am not.
Starting point is 00:59:25 I do not believe in far-flung irrelevant, unpragmatic, not making sense, nonsensical bullshit. I do not do it. I don't go down those rabbit holes. But I've known for a long time that the US government has been employing propaganda strategies and still due to this data, some degree, but this is just like, this is blatant. How you can't see through this, I't know I mean I'm sure there were plenty of people who saw through it I'm sure plenty of people were like that's why the sixies happened yeah that's what the sixies have like
Starting point is 00:59:52 the reasons however the facts strike me and both of us the editor and I have the right to act on our opinions on election day. To vote for the principles we believe in. And finally, I'm thankful for being able to believe in spite of everything that somehow, someway, the... We'll get turkey again. Unity we've got here in the Johnson family will someday spread to men and nations throughout the world. Ah, this is really a life like, these things. We are truly and
Starting point is 01:00:27 this is- This is- This is- This is- Oh man. Okay, oh man, there we go. Did they get a turkey? No, they didn't get a turkey. They never got a turkey, so the kids-
Starting point is 01:00:34 So the kids went hungry. They were basically bouncing off the walls from the sugar. Oh man, can you believe it? Can you believe- This is not that long ago, by the way, guys. This is not that long ago. This is what it is that it's not yeah I mean this is wasn't that long ago when I was born, but now it's that long ago with you guys are born Man, I'll tell you I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for our listeners I'm grateful for our listeners also
Starting point is 01:01:03 Thank you for listening. You know, there's commercials popping up in the shows. I know some of you have noticed it. We did that. That's what we're doing on purpose, because we're just paying ourselves back a little bit. Yeah, we spend a lot of money on this on this show and growing the show. And we spend a lot of time in the studio. So we're just looking to make a little bit of a back.
Starting point is 01:01:22 I'm just trying not to go back to getting a job. People come on. And I'm trying to get to go back to getting a job people come on And I'm trying to get out of my current one. So there you go We're both working toward a goal here. Sure, there's it's not a lot of money So I don't want you to think we're making millions off of advertising But if you hear an advertiser, you know listen through it's not that big of a deal It's a couple minutes of advertising every program that we every show that we put in there And we do thank you and we understand that sometimes commercials don't feel good to you,
Starting point is 01:01:47 but just know that it's helping the overall cause. We'll keep the show coming free to you and frequent. And it allows us to do more content like TCP in the studio, a special series we have going on on our YouTube channel, youtube.com slash the commercial break. We're Chrissy and I tackle more current events for a couple
Starting point is 01:02:07 minutes on YouTube only. YouTube.com slash the commercial break. It's content you can't get anywhere else this week. We're talking more about Travis Scott's Astral World. So check that video out.
Starting point is 01:02:16 And I think that's it. Then that's what we can do today. TCPpodcast.com and all that shit. You know where to go. That's all we can do. I love you. I love you. Best of you.
Starting point is 01:02:24 Best of you. And best of you out there in the podcast audience. And as always, we must end the show by saying this. Bye! visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley, with additional content provided by Tina Cano. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say Thank you.

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