The Commercial Break - Hoadley's House of EVOO

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

From Hoadley’s sexy olive oil based marriage, to Bryan’s Russian Doll jizz drop, these two really have it all.  NextDoor must be stopped! Zuckerberg apologizing? Word of the day! What’s goi...ng on with people and planes? It’s always the Florida flights… Keep Bryan Green next to other guys on the plane The coke nail healers of yore Send us stories! John Munroe is a monster Disney isn’t as fun anymore Disney Cruising Half Song Hoadley & Jizzy Jeff’s House of Horrors Bryan’s upcoming jizz test He’s got a one finger dick The Russian doll jizz drop LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   626.ASK.TCB3 text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger.
Starting point is 00:00:08 Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger.
Starting point is 00:00:16 Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Hamburger. Just one camera in the house. We can blur things out later on down the road. I just imagine Chrissy's naked butt and Jeff's naked ass, and he's just over there twiddling his little figs and berries. Extra virgin olive oil over us. Evo's splash hot splashing on his nipples, and he's like, Ow, ow, ow. And Chrissy's like, get back there and cook those eggs. Get back there, Jeff. And he's like, yes ma back there and cook those eggs. Back there, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:00:45 And he's like, yes ma'am, yes ma'am. Medium, crazy. Watch that lettuce. Swear to God, did you mince the garlic or chop the garlic? Cause there's a difference, Jeff. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. The 30 in the morning!
Starting point is 00:01:01 Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green and this is my beautiful co-host, Chris DeGioia, only best to you, Chrissy. I can't stop looking at next door. I'm located in this city. Garage won't come down. Somebody needs to come help. What? Her garage won't come down. Somebody needs to come help. What? Her garage won't come down. Somebody needs to come help. The first place you're stuck, the first place you're contacting when you're stuck in your garage is the next store. Got it.
Starting point is 00:01:35 I just wanted to update everybody that my dog had hip surgery and is doing well. Oh, that was nice. That was nice. My friend and I had a hamburger. Oh, that was nice. That was nice. My friend and I had a hamburger. We both got food poisoning. Please don't visit that restaurant. No restaurant given. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Ha ha ha ha. Uh, wait, there was another one that was so funny. Oh, here it is. Need an electric, need an electrician. ASAP. I came home from vacation and noticed that all my food had spoiled. My refrigerator was not working. Need someone to fix it. Update. The plug had fallen out. These are real. Cancel the electrician. Cancel the electricians. Don't need a MSAV plug-in phone out. Do I need to look at mine?
Starting point is 00:02:26 I don't know. I just can't see if there's anything interesting. By the way, that's like two scrolls and I got that. It's so, this next door needs to be stopped. Follow up on our conversation about the tech CEOs going in front of Congress. I don't know if you saw that Mark Zuckerberg turned around and apologized. Now I do too. Mark Zucker Zuckerberg five big social media executives go up in front of Congress. It's a very contentious hearing And good for these senators because you we got somebody's got to do something about children being harmed on these social media apps
Starting point is 00:02:59 Or getting harmed because they're using them and not having a lot of levers that parents can pull to protect their children and As a guy who's got 62 fucking kids who are about to be social media age. It makes me really nervous, right? So there's it the one of the senators I think Dick Durbin said this is the most amount of people we've ever had in a hearing room and There were like a hundred more waiting outside So this huge room is packed and all of these parents have pictures of their children who have died because of something that happened on social media. They bought fentanyl pills on social media. They got bullied and they committed suicide. They were sex stored it and they committed suicide. The bad bad thing. They met some predator online. of hair, like just absolutely hair-raising atrocity happened, right? And they're all holding up pictures of their children
Starting point is 00:03:49 and behind them and the CEOs are facing toward the senators. Well, someone, I think it was Josh Hawley, who is, but this is about the only thing I will ever agree with Josh Hawley about. Josh Hawley starts grilling Mark Zuckerberg. Why haven't you done this? You keep saying you're gonna do that, but you never do this. Do you have any reason why you will not support these bills? No, of course you don't because you just keep on giving us lip service and you pay your
Starting point is 00:04:11 lobbyists to, you know, get our colleagues to stop any kind of action on this. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. And he says, if you ever apologized to the parents and people who have been affected by the actions taken on your platform where you have taken no action to reduce the harm, right? And Mark's like, I don't think I've ever apologized to a parent because I've never been in the position to do that. And he says, they're right there. Turn around, they're right there, right?
Starting point is 00:04:39 And so in this weird moment, Mark Zuckerberg turns around, stands up and starts talking to the parents and says, you should never have had to go through any of this. And I'm mortified that you had to. And we're spending billions of dollars to make sure that it doesn't happen again, right? All lip service, because all they care about is money. But anyway, regardless, it was just like an amazing moment It's like almost like a I don't know like a Matlock moment, right?
Starting point is 00:05:09 Where they they catch the guy on the stand like saying something and much Zuckerberg actually turned around and apologized first of all There's got to be some human being down in there inside of Mark Zuckerberg skin first of all second of all It's probably cold comfort to any of those parents. They don't give a shoe He does have children, but those children won't grow up like the other children. No. And they'll be protected from the worst harms of social media because they probably won't be allowed to be on social media until they're of a certain age because Mark knows goddamn well exactly what happens to preteens and and
Starting point is 00:05:38 teenagers on that fucking on those fucking applications. They should just like let's kill Facebook right now. Let's just do it. And what who cares about it? No one cares about it. Do we care about Facebook anymore? Have you used Facebook in the last two years for any reason whatsoever? Yes, but shame on you. It was mainly just to kind of check in and whatever. It's every once in a while I jump on there. Are you talking to those young boys again on social media? I'm kidding. No.
Starting point is 00:06:07 Oh. Of course, young boys aren't on Facebook. No one young is on Facebook. No, no, no, no. No. I don't think anyone's on Facebook. Only older folks are on Facebook. Facebook and Next Door.
Starting point is 00:06:17 They're like the same age range. And I think that Facebook knows this and they see the existential crisis that's coming. If they don't get young people on the app, the app will go away eventually. Now they have Instagram, which is undoubtedly skews younger, but not that much younger. Like even Instagram, I think is like kind of the old funny-doty app, isn't it? No. No? Okay. Well, no, I'm completely wrong.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Then I'm just the old funny-doty using it. All right, Chrissy. Do you have another word of the day? Do I have a word of the day? Yes. Because if you don't have a word of the day? Do I have a word of the day? Yes. Because if you don't have a word of the day, then we're going to break our streak of four words in three words in a row. Let me go to my word of the day. Hurry up, bring that wordle up and let's do it.
Starting point is 00:06:56 The wordle turtle, jizzy jazz's wife right here, bringing a word of the day. Classing it up here. Okay, ready? Word of the day. Word of the day. Classing it up here. Okay, ready? Word of the day. Word of the day is edify. To edify. Okay. To edify means to aggrandize or to put on a podium.
Starting point is 00:07:14 It means. Or does it mean to pacify? Like tell someone, oh yeah, no problem. Good job. It means to instruct or improve morally or intellectually. Oh, well, that does not have nothing to do with a commercial break, that particular word. Edify, Bonhomi, Queditinian.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Or not edify in anyone. What was the word yesterday? Nounce, knowledge, knowledge. No, no, it was nonage. Nonage, That's right. We're still in our nonage years. Yes. Chrissy and I are still...
Starting point is 00:07:48 Period of immaturity. Oh, yes. That definitely is us, for sure. Yep. But edify. Edify. Word of the day. All right.
Starting point is 00:07:57 It again is from like a middle... middle English. Middle English. Yeah. Thy thou vast then lie down thy weapons sire for thy knowledge Does not allow you to think clearly now Quintinion off and be banhomi You know we should that's a great name for a restaurant. Bonhomie. It is. Isn't it? Bonhomie.
Starting point is 00:08:27 Yeah, it's the convivial place. It's the Quintidian place. The Quintidian. All right, it's not such great news. I know, but I'm reading this story. I just, like, I don't know what is going on with human beings and airplanes these days. Oh, God. It's a whole thing. Okay byline Frontier Airlines
Starting point is 00:08:49 Flyer who flashed her anus and genitalia is hit with federal charges a passenger aboard a frontier Airlines flight from Orlando to Philadelphia has been slapped with federal charges after she was caught on a video Having a meltdown when she flashed the cabin by pulling down her pants and underwear, cursed at the crew and allegedly threatened to kill fellow flyers. Dulce Huerta, who's 60 years old, had two cocktails during the November 20th flight, got out of her seat while the plane was about to land in Philly and announced, I have to pee pee, pee pee poo poo! According to the federal complaint... She said pee pee poo poo?
Starting point is 00:09:24 She said pee-pee-poop-poop? She said pee-pee-poop-poop. God, no, I'm kidding. Pee-pee-poop-pee, daddy. I think I'll poo-poop-poop. Can you check me for a blowout? Can you do me a favor and blow me out? Look at my poo-poop. Oh, it's on your hand.
Starting point is 00:09:41 I got it on your hand. Hey, daddy, if you check for a blowout, I'll give you a special surprise. Your hand's full of shit. Now we're both full of shit. How does it feel, asshole? Pee-pee-poo-poo. Um, so Dulce decides that she's going to take a pee-pee-poo-poo we're there on the plane, and a flight attendant told her she had to sit down, but the woman began cursing before finally taking her seat during the outburst. After the plane landed and was taxiing to the gate, Hubertest began cursing at passengers around her. The police report said
Starting point is 00:10:15 someone asked her to sit down called the security to assist at the gate and the captain was finally notified about the unhinged passenger, decided to make an announcement instructing everyone to sit at the gate who air tests started pushing passengers out of the way she went to the front of the cabin where she approached the lavatory, but she was stopped by the crew Sorry everybody she announced she pulled down her pants and underwear as she squatted to urinate in the aisle. Ah lovely Someone shared the video on Facebook who where ites displayed her. Facebook. Oh, Facebook. Oh, there you go. 60.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Dulce Hubertes is 60. Okay, there you go. At one point, the person behind the camera recording the confrontation was heard saying that poor boy next to us, referring to a small passenger, having to watch this all unfold. Despite the stooped stance she took in the middle of the aisle, she stopped short of relieving herself on the floor and pulled her underwear back up and then allegedly cursed at passengers. I just, I just can't understand.
Starting point is 00:11:12 What is a fine like that run you these days for showing your anus? Oh, I don't know. I don't know what the anus fine is. Yeah, what is that? Anus on a plane fine. I do what the nipple fine is. It's about $30. I can handle it. Sometimes I like to take my shirt off during flight show my dad bought off To all the young ins around me frontier airlines 60 years old pulls down her pants in the middle of the aisle Cursing it everybody along the way saying she has to pee pee
Starting point is 00:11:36 Well, if you have to pee pee miss where test you should have done it at the appropriate time That's what I have to say now. I do have to say sometimes it just comes up on you. You're like, oh shit I really got a pee mm-hmm, but you, you have to hold it if you're in landing mode. Yes. That does not mean that anybody wants to see your nasty ass. And look at the picture because this is the type of woman who would do this. And I'm saying that just because you know that this woman causes trouble in her family's life. Yeah. This woman, she looks like kind of like the woman that was
Starting point is 00:12:07 cutting up the doughnut for the kids to eat. Yes, only much older. She's got a mask on but it's around her chin because that's where it's most effective. Thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you. Thank you for helping us all. You're gonna piss all over the floor by spreading your asscheeks. But good for you for wearing a mask. Asscheeks. Yeah, could you put that mask around your anus? We'd appreciate it. No, I think you get on the do not fly list for shit like that. Yeah, well you should.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Yeah, you absolutely. Yeah, you just lost your privileges on that. Don't say you'll be driving to Philly next time. Yeah. And why is all the crazy shit happen on the way to Orlando? You know what I'm saying? Everyone's going down, and then people are getting in fist fights at Disney World, and you ever see that video of the one, there's somebody standing in line
Starting point is 00:12:54 for a ride at Disney World. I understand, I've been to Disney World, I've been there with children, the lines can be hours long and there's nothing for the children to do, and there's no placeholder. You can't say, I'm gonna be to the bathroom and I'll be right back, because they don't allow that right if you come back
Starting point is 00:13:07 You stand at the end of the line now if you're with a group Maybe you can get away with it and you can kind of slither past some people and say I'm with this group but the lady was so Set on making sure that she did not lose her place in line And I know the ride and I know the line and it's not that long You're gonna be okay 30 minutes tops And she lets her son she instructs her son to take a dump right there in the line What so the kid squats a pops a squat and takes a shit right there on the way?
Starting point is 00:13:39 Yes, but how does that get her to ride the ride faster? Because she doesn't have to leave to go take her kid to the bathroom. Oh, oh, oh, I get what you're saying. And then have to go to the back of the line. To save her. Oh, God. Oh, God. It's just unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:13:51 That is like abuse. As a parent, them's the breaks. If your kid has to go to the bathroom, them's the break. Riding down the road the other day, 10 minutes from the gymnasium to my house. There is not one single bit of traffic that happens in that 10 minutes. We're not getting stuck anywhere, no one's going anywhere. However, there are not any public bathrooms available in that
Starting point is 00:14:15 10-minute ride. So I say to one of the kids before we leave, anybody have to go pee-pee? It's not a normal thing for a parent yes yes yes yes yes yes and one of my kids says yes take to the bathroom come back put everyone in the car five minutes into the ten minute ride I have to go pee pee can you hold up for five minutes no and I'm like oh shit really so what do I do I do what any parent did I stuck a towel under her butt and I said hey you have to go pee pee at least you're gonna go on the towel because I don't know what to do There's no place to stop and I'm not gonna let my kid piss on the side of the road
Starting point is 00:14:49 That's not an appropriate thing to do them's the brakes Yeah, I got you know if you I understand this lady had to pee But you can't then disobey what the flight attendants are telling you to do your own problem and also Nobody needs to know when wants to see that ass. that's your own problem and also nobody needs to know. No one wants to see that ass. It's not Dua Lipa. I mean, you know what I'm saying? You wouldn't even want Dua Lipa to act that way. Well, don't get crazy. I mean, I don't want her to act that way, but if she popped a squad, I'd say, well, let's Dua Lipa. She's got to pee. Let's let the poor girl pee in silence.
Starting point is 00:15:21 No, I'm with you. 100%. She wouldn't be on frontier. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She wouldn't even be on Delta. Virgin Airlines. That lady probably. She'd be in first class. Yeah, she'd be in first class or traveling on her own private tour plane is what she would do. But I was telling this to Tina when you were gone and now I'm saying it to you. We've done this a million times.
Starting point is 00:15:40 The behavior on an airplane is outrageous. It's outrageous. We got to take a flight in a couple weeks and I'm really nervous that I'm gonna expose my children to some kind of panicky situation where someone has just lost their fucking shit. Now, I'm flying Delta, so I'm hoping, because we don't see many Delta, of these things happening on Delta,
Starting point is 00:16:00 I'm hoping that it doesn't happen on a Delta flight, but I'm also flying down to Florida, so I know there's a good chance that there could be crazy people on the plane. I just took a long flight out to San Francisco, and it was a great experience. Everybody was very lovely. Oh, were they? The whole staff and crew, huh?
Starting point is 00:16:16 I'm hoping for you. Who'd you sit next to? Oh, well, I had no one sitting next to me on one side. Oh, well, that makes it a lot easier. But on the way back, I was in the middle. There were two guys on each side, but they were very nice. Yeah, I bet they were. They were like, oh, this is my lucky day.
Starting point is 00:16:35 You know, I said, I think airlines have this program where they put like single guys together, like guys that are traveling, they put them together because I've never flown. That's not true. Two or three times in my life, I've flown as a solo human being flown on a flight where a woman was seated next to me.
Starting point is 00:16:51 And every other time, I've sat in a row of all guys traveling, either solo or in a pair or whatever, right? And so I'm pretty sure that the airplanes, they either have a program to make sure that all the solo guys or all the guys sit together, or they have a program to make sure Brian Green sits with other guys. They've seen the commercial break. They don't want trouble.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Do you pick your seat? Yes, of course. I always do too. So you got these two guys next to you. So what happens? You sit down, you come in, are you in the middle seat before they come or are you? Well, no, the guy next to the window was already there. I sat next to him. That makes easy. Yep. And then this, I thought the seat next to me was not going to be taken on this
Starting point is 00:17:30 right home either, but the guy, yeah, last minute, the guy came running up. And I do have to say, we were in a little bit of a tight situation there and he did pull out like a huge laptop, briefcase, papers for everywhere. I think he was writing a thesis. Oh. But whatever. Oh, it's the worst. Brief K's, papers were everywhere. I think he was writing a thesis. Oh. But whatever. Yeah, everybody was just...
Starting point is 00:17:48 So when you put your headset on and you stare forward. Exactly. You look forward. That's what I always do. I watched a couple of movies. Oh, you did? Yeah, that's the best policy. I was down low to a couple of movies.
Starting point is 00:17:56 I stare forward. I try not to make small talk. Because listen, at the end of the day, I really am not a very likable human being. So when I open my mouth, I can put on the Brian look all day long, but you don't want to be stuck to me and X on the plane. No one wants to hear what I have to say. I'm just going to bitch and complain about everything.
Starting point is 00:18:11 So, you know what? I just decided to save my misery for myself. I can think it in my head and talk about it here on the show. And so it's like, this is the outlet for all the misery. But, you know, I always get stuck next to some sad sacks of bigger human beings, a guy that wants to spread out all over the place the dude who wants to take off his shoes He's wearing no socks. You know someone's picking their nose. There should be a fine for that. Yeah I sat next to a guy one time. He was clipping his fucking nails Chrissy
Starting point is 00:18:35 Yeah, I had to stare out the window I just stared directly out the window because I was about to lose my shit Clipping your nails on a podcast. I mean on an airplane a plane. I mean, on an airplane, fuckin' A, or clipping your nails on a podcast, either one is bad news. Yeah, exactly. I used to work with a guy that would clip his nails at work. At work?
Starting point is 00:18:54 I hated it. Isn't it like a log instead or something? There should be. There should be, because, you know, your nails are dirty in general. Yeah, anyone's supposed to clip, and you know what, inevitably, there's always gonna be one of those nails that goes flying. Yeah. I don't care how clean you are. And you know what, inevitably there's always gonna be one of those nails that goes flying. Yes, right into
Starting point is 00:19:09 your lap. Well, slower bro. Slow bro, that's a flyer. Got a flyer. You know, and so do that at home. Listen. The privacy of your own bathroom. I wasn't gonna clip my nails here on the airplane, but I was scratching my ass earlier and I got a scrap hernia. So my hemorrhoids, I decided to do it right here on the plane. So I'm going to be deal that when I get to Vegas, I'm going to be a degenerate for 24 fucking hours to come back home to my wife and kids. Can you save your nail clipping for somewhere else? Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, please. Or even better yet, spend what? 10, $12 for a man's manicure at a place somewhere in a strip mall, just go do that. I do my own nails are always short, you know, they're short and clean. You know, we were talking about those healers the other day, I know the fucking healers.
Starting point is 00:19:54 You know how healers are, there's the ones with the three long nails because they play classical guitar or some shit. I can play. I gotta pick it. Yeah, what's that song called gas laughing gas or something? You know That's 70s, you know classical guitar song Classical gas that's what it's called classical gas That's a song and you know it if you heard it you'd know and everyone would know it is like you know
Starting point is 00:20:21 Just a song in the ethos But you know those healers are they got that one coke nail, you know. They cut nails. Yeah, but that's not for cocaine. It's for healing salts that I dribble out over your vagina when you have a headache. Right. Come on, man. Come on, man.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Charming up those nails. Now, I'm not saying men can't have nails. You want to do your nails? Cool. I've seen lots of them with painted nails, longer nails. I think it's cool. I like the painted nails. Tastesfully done. I want to paint my nails. You. I've seen lots of them with painted nails, longer nails. I think it's cool. I like the painted nails. Tastes really good.
Starting point is 00:20:47 I want to paint my nails. You think I should for the commercial break? Yeah. Paint a couple nails? I like it. One black, one pink, one blue, something like that. Yeah. And that could be, that's what I'm going to do.
Starting point is 00:20:55 I got Jeff to paint his toes one time and we were at the, uh... Oh, my daughter's painted my toes. Yeah, at the spa. Luckily it was with frozen nail polish that came off. The second I put a sock on. Oh, it was everywhere. Blue and glittery. Yeah. One of my kids asked for frozen makeup for Christmas.
Starting point is 00:21:13 And I love it. I love that she loves to doll up and play around. She's a girly girl. She is. But I swear on all that's holy. We gotta give her a makeup tutorial because she slathers on that lipstick and she looks like a clown and then she's like putting on this fake blush and it's sticky and it doesn't come off And then she wants to paint my face and I'm like yeah
Starting point is 00:21:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I spend a lot of money making myself look tan and I don't want you to put any rouge on there You know what I'm saying? I don't need to look any more red than I already look because I've been to the tanning bed three times this week It's a stress reliever. In times of stress, I get more tan. I'll just let you know that little secret to the commercial break audience. You'll know what level of stress I've had based on my tanning level. Is this the same place where you are you still doing the workouts? Or did you just sign up?
Starting point is 00:22:01 Well, I signed up, but I've only been the one time, but I'm gonna go back and no I'm not gonna go to I am not getting into an update on the dude you want an update. Oh Dude and a boxing dude Fucking MMA guy that's in there. It's 70 years old with his tie-dye t-shirt Budweiser t-shirt with the sleeves cut out I'm gonna have an update. We must have an update. We must have an update. You know I want an update too. I want an update on Marlin, is what I wanted to say.
Starting point is 00:22:29 But I haven't heard from him in a long time. Marlin. Yeah, I think that maybe, you know, maybe his lady friend didn't think that this whole thing was as funny as I did. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, maybe. I'm not saying that's what happened.
Starting point is 00:22:43 I'm saying that that's in my head. For those of you that don't know, Marlon, we've been following Marlon for a couple of years now. A couple years. Right? And he had signed up for the Sugar Mama website and was matched and did in fact have a Sugar Mama for a while. And she was in control. She was in control of it. She knew how wanted, she knew how to pay for it. She knew it was her way. Kind of woman who grabs your head and stuffs it in her crotch and says to the left. That says how to do it.
Starting point is 00:23:11 To the left. Yes. And okay, cool. She knows what she wants. She's a woman who knows what she wants and there's no arguing that. But it can be a bit shocking when you're not used to that kind of behavior.
Starting point is 00:23:19 They went to Europe. Yeah, they went to Europe. They went to a nudist for colony. Right, traveling all around. They were all over the place. Then there was a breakup. Then there was a back together and then that's kind of where we left off. That's kind of where we left off. There was a breakup, but then they found each other. They saw each other at a bar and they're each with
Starting point is 00:23:34 somebody else and then they got hooked up. Yeah, that's right. And they decided that they really did want to be together. And then I didn't hear much after that. And I'm sure the commercial break is the condition of them getting back together. That's right. You're not talking to Brian anymore. Because do you remember one time we believed that she wrote into the show? Yes. Yes. Because she told the story and it was the exact same story of Marlon's story. It was like she was talking to Marlon through the podcast because she knew that was the only way she was gonna get through to him is if she stopped
Starting point is 00:24:03 this fucking bullshit that was going on in the commercial break But you know I digress, you know, I just I want to hear from the guy. I'll touch base with them Oh, there's a sugar mama story or sugar Story any story whatsoever We'll tell it tell us we'll tell it probably better than you can Maybe not I don't know and if it's a good story and you can tell it well, probably better than you can. Maybe not, I don't know. And if it's a good story and you can tell it well, you never know, you might be on the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Oh, we'd love to have you. Yeah. Okay, let's take a break and we'll be back. Sorry to interrupt, but that's kind of my thing these days. If you're sick of me interrupting Brian, give us a call at 626-ASK-TCB3, leave us a voicemail, and maybe I'll interrupt you on the show instead. You'd love that, wouldn't ya? You can also text us at 855-TCB-8383 and check out our website, TCBPodcast.com, for all things TCB.
Starting point is 00:24:56 You know what's coming next. Follow us on Instagram, at the commercial break, and on TikTok, at TCB Podcast. And now, let's listen to some sponsors because they're the real ones around here. Okay, I was reading the story about this guy. So guy goes down to Disney World, right? He is the executive of Hilton Head, the Hilton Head C Club, right? The C Island Club or whatever, it's not at C Island,
Starting point is 00:25:23 it's called like the C Club or something like that. Like this big Ponzi Ritzy resort. The Harbour Club. Come to the Harbour Club. Be accosted by 50-year-old men who are taking hormone therapy. 50, that's young. The Harbour Club. Well, I think they started 50. They get on that hormone therapy and then they're just like Oh Yeah, I mean you could imagine what kind of place it is. I don't know I've never been there I've probably driven by it, but I've never been there, but yeah, it's like the schooner social or whatever. I don't know what to think. He is the Senior Vice President
Starting point is 00:26:07 of Marketing for this big resort yacht club in Hilton Head. He goes down to Disney World. He goes to one of the nicer restaurants in the park. I mean, as nice as you can get at Disney. And trust me, Disney will charge you a lot of money to go to something they consider nice, right? Or they call nice. And so it's at their nicest hotel, the Grand Floridian. They go to this restaurant and it's one? Or they call nice. And so it's at their nicest hotel, the Grand Floridian. They go to this restaurant, and it's one of the only places inside of the entire resort of Walt Disney World that requires proper attire.
Starting point is 00:26:31 And that means no swim shorts, no T-shirts, no hats. Flip flops. No flip flops. Yeah, they want you to just be dressed. You can do resort casual, you can do, you know, slacks and a nice shirt and some casual shoes like casual dress shoes. But they're asking you to be appropriately dressed. Take it up one notch from your day, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:51 following shitty little snotty little kids all day, right? Well, this guy's, I'm going to assume, I think in the story it said he was 57. And he was one of these guys you would find at one of those schooner clubs, right? Like a jacked up 57 year old white guy, you know receding hairline Red as he can be because he's goes to the tanning boy even more than I do for Frankie. Yes Frankie Yes, the Sea Island version or the hill yeah, the hill net hill net version that is correct
Starting point is 00:27:18 So this guy. Oh, let me let me see if I have a picture. I do have a picture Look, oh, okay. So everybody knows this guy. I'll ask somebody to put the picture up there. Everybody knows this guy. He's just, he's 64, excuse me. He is just an asshole. He's an asshole that everybody around him,
Starting point is 00:27:36 Yaks entitled. He probably drives like a bright yellow Maserati with a rims on it or something like that. We all know these guys, right? They're entitled, you know, Snowflake, Snowflake. Snowflake. Homeless people don't live in my neighborhood. You know, the whole nine yards.
Starting point is 00:28:01 So this guy comes. There's a table of three. There's a reservation, he shows up, he says I'm waiting for my reservation, three other people are coming. And the hostess says this reservation is for three, not for, I'll see if I can accommodate. She goes back and she talks to the manager and she explains to the manager this guy wants to show up. By the way, he's drunk as a skunk. So, shows up, belligerent, demanding that he be part of this party. She goes back, she talks to the manager, the man.
Starting point is 00:28:32 He wanted to be part of another party that was already there. Another party that was coming. Oh, okay. Yeah, they showed up shortly after. Three women showed up. He was there first. That's correct. He was there first.
Starting point is 00:28:42 And so, she goes back to three women. Exactly. Right? But now listen to this. This is crazy. So, it's not crazy. It's correct. He was there first. And so the man, she goes back to three women. Exactly. Right. But now listen to this. This is crazy. So I'm just not crazy. It's, it's interesting. So I gotta get, get, get rid of those crutch words, Brian. Crazy. Amazing. Wow. Get rid of them. Okay. We've heard them enough. 500 episodes in probably say that word seven times an episode. Leave it. All right. So I'm going to find a new word of the day that means crazy. And then we'll start using that. So the manager says, nope, he cannot be part of the party. He's wearing swim trunks, a T-shirt and a hat.
Starting point is 00:29:09 He cannot be part of that party, right? Then the women show up for their appointed time and the hostess says, I'm sorry, we can't allow you to eat dying at the restaurant because it's not proper attire. They don't have proper attire on either. They do. They say,
Starting point is 00:29:25 she says to him, if you would like to, you can go back and change and come back. Otherwise, I can't see you inside of the restaurant because it's proper attire. It says right on the website. It's our rules. So he plays it cool at first. The NERVE! WOOOOOOAHHHHHH! Don't you know who I think I am? Don't you think I understand who you might believe I can be? I could be your father, but I'd like to fuck you right here. I could be your grandfather, but now you're going to get crushed with the size of my nitty-pitty. Don't you know that I drive a Maserati? He's full white man angry mode, right? But he plays it cool at first. He goes, okay, but I want to wait with these ladies in the waiting area until they get seated.
Starting point is 00:30:18 The hostess obliges. She says, okay. All right, fine. Fine. Whatever you want to do. She's not looking to cause trouble. She's the hostess. Yeah. She makes $19 an hour. She don't want to be deal with Bob the dick.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Yeah. Right. So then it's time to get seated and the hostess goes to seat them, these three ladies and Bob is following behind, you know, all the ladies. And the hostess says, he thought he could sneak through. He thought he could sneak through and the hostess turns and says, I'm sorry, I cannot see you that's right the way the
Starting point is 00:30:53 the three transplants uh... so the according to the story the story in the article that I read, one of the ladies at this point in this confusion in the middle of the restaurant while she's trying to say, no, you can't go, he's one of the ladies says- With the party? With the party.
Starting point is 00:31:19 Okay. Says, it's my birthday. He's drunk. He's obnoxious. I don't want him to sit with us. Good. We barely know him. Yeah, like he probably, they probably met that day or something. That's drunk. He's obnoxious. I don't want him to sit with us. Good barely know. Yeah, like he probably they probably met that day That's right, and he's like where are you? I'm not the most you've ever had. I'm the senior vice president of marketing for the special school and social club
Starting point is 00:31:48 at Hillman, South Carolina. So the host is now set, now think probably thinks to herself, holy shit, there's like a situation going on here, right? Yes, definitely. And so she walks to the gentleman and she says, I'm really sorry, I cannot see you, you do not have proper attire. We discussed this mm-hmm the
Starting point is 00:32:07 Jackal who considers himself God on earth then decides to slap the hostess Three separate times in the head. What? Yes saying her name repeatedly like you know, let's say her name. I don't know. Stacey Total fucking Oh, it is definitely assault. She decided not to press charges and why she didn't I don't know I would be all over that But the police came in and removed the man and now he's been suspended from his job at the special social schooners club, wherever resort in Hilton Head and good for them.
Starting point is 00:32:56 I say, cheers to you. Yes, you can have that type of employee. Yeah, sometimes you get like these good old boy networks and they all start to defend themselves right now you didn't do anything wrong he's probably just you know that's just Bob that's just Bob and Bob's Bob drunk that's right and Bob got taken out of the restaurant by the police. He probably got a trespassing notice from Disney. I would assume when you touch one of their employees,
Starting point is 00:33:33 you get a trespassing notice, which means you cannot go in the resort ever again. And trust me, you may think that Disney World is like the happiest place on earth, but they have some of the most sophisticated security in the world and they will know when you walk on their property Because they have cameras in every nook and cranny and they will most definitely have facial recognition software as a matter of fact I think that's how they recognize when people are trying to scam and get into the park with different tickets and all this other stuff They use your fingerprint now, you know, they don't,
Starting point is 00:34:05 supposedly don't store the fingerprint, but how else does it work? I don't know. Do you mind if I put my dick on there? Cause everybody wants to see it. I am 40 years past my prime, but my dick looks great. I'm going there and I'm going sell women and sell you cuss words. And then I'm gonna jizz all over Walt Disney's forehead. Ah, they're Maserati.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Maserati. Maserati. So he got kicked out. I just can't believe this. This is like. Was that a picture too? The picture that you showed me, was that his mug shot?
Starting point is 00:34:42 Yeah. Okay, good. So he did get like taken in jail.. Okay, good. We'll see. He did get like taken in jail. Oh, hold on one second. It says something here. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-U-N-R-O. Monroe. Monroe, and then I'm gonna give you the name of the place where he works. C. Pines Resort in Hilton Head.
Starting point is 00:35:08 So he's at this place and, so one of the women said, please don't allow him to sit with us. He's really drunk, underdressed. It's my birthday, I'm embarrassed. And according to the affidavit, may not have known the man all that well. When the hostess told Morano that he,
Starting point is 00:35:21 Monroe, that spelled so weird, M-U-N-R-O, Munro, that he could not sit with the group. He began repeatedly to slap her on the forehead three times while stating her name, uh, which he read from the name tag on her shirt. What an asshole, dude. Uh, the hostess sustained no visible injuries and declined medical treatment. She, oh, she did wish to pursue charges. I'm sorry He's caught up with Monroe who said he was intoxicated slurred speech glossy red eyes and Constantly repeating that he was going to sue Disney World. Oh Okay I'm gonna sue you, my dad's a maternity, he's dead, but he's got a partner that might or might not be alive.
Starting point is 00:36:05 I come from South Carolina! I'm Maserati. I'm one of only three people in South Carolina that own a Maserati, and mine's yellow. Yellow is the color of Big Dicks. Uh... I mean, Disney. Yes. Monroe entered a plea of not guilty and is expected in his court of parents for a pre-child conference on February 16th.
Starting point is 00:36:26 I only wish that that will be online. I will actually mark that calendar. This is the kind of asshole that we need to disrupt in this country because these are entitled. Here's the thing. This is our father's generations, right? These guys in this age group are the generation of our fathers and in a lot of cases, there are some really, really good human beings in that group of people. Some of them were hippies, some of them anti-war activists,
Starting point is 00:36:53 some of them went to the war, some of them were just around during the war, the moon landing, I mean, that generation has produced a lot of good, right? Oh yeah, for sure. They are souring in their old age like a rotten banana. Do you know what I'm saying? Some of them.
Starting point is 00:37:09 And they get this thought in their head that they in fact rule the world. They are entitled to everything and they should be honored like a God because they just showed up somewhere. But this drunk douche-nausel. Well, I think that also could be said for younger generations. No, it could. It could. But I'm thinking of a particular type of...
Starting point is 00:37:29 Influencers. Well, yeah, influencers are the worst. And we're trying to be one. So I don't know. I don't know if we're any better than any of the other influencers or creators out there. We sit here and talk shit all day for a living. But yeah, no, I agree with you. But I'm talking about this like super weird entitlement that these mainly men have, that they think that something is being taken from them,
Starting point is 00:37:52 that they owned at some point, and now they need repercussions. You know, I read that that generation is like phasing out of the kind of upper crust rich society and a younger generation, like our generation is now moving up into those positions. Right? And that there's- They're bitter?
Starting point is 00:38:13 Yeah, they're bitter. There's just like an anger about it. And it's not everybody. Of course it's not everybody. It's not even the majority of people I would imagine. Because the only people that we hear about are the people that make news like this for doing stupid fucking shit.
Starting point is 00:38:23 But these assholes are assholes. And you know the type, everybody has one. Everybody has one in their neighborhood. Everyone sees one at their local bar. Everyone sees them at the grocery store. They just treat everybody like shit because they think they're better. You see all this shit on TikTok.
Starting point is 00:38:36 You know, old white men trying to fight young people in a CVS because they're wearing a mask or something. It's like, what the fuck, dude? Really? You're so angry? You're so angry about the mask that you have to fight somebody? Is that really what you, and smacking a hostess, like a 19 year old hostess in the head,
Starting point is 00:38:53 because you're not being seated, because you are improperly dressed, drunk, and acting disrespectfully. But you're gonna sue Disney World? You're disgusting. Yeah, you're suing Disney World, though. That's what's going on. Really, you know what? It grinds my gears. Where were the kids?
Starting point is 00:39:08 These people just down there first There's lots of conferences down there, you know at Disney World. Yeah at Disney World lots and lots of I love it, but right now I'm not going because it's kind of a mess down there They got this like Reservation system where everything has to be pre-planned months ahead of time. It takes the fun out of Disney Yeah, I think to just go and ride rides, right? And if you can get a fast pass on the app, okay, cool But if I have to plan it out and pay extra to not do this
Starting point is 00:39:36 I was reading about this like my genie plus bullshit that's going on with them It's a new reservation system. You can make a reservation to get into the park. Maybe not anymore They're like phasing that out But for a number of years you You have to make a reservation to get into the park, maybe not anymore, they're like phasing that out, but for a number of years, you've had to make a reservation to get into the park. And then in order to get on rides, or have like a fast pass quote unquote, right, you have to get a genie line or something like that,
Starting point is 00:39:55 you have to pay extra based on the demand. So it could cost up to $15 extra per person in your party to get everybody that did the genie line, or whatever the fuck they call it, and then that genie line is Oftentimes longer than the other line just to stand by and the poor people are just walking into the ride Then they have to wait for hours sitting in the night Shitting in the line. There's people fighting all over the place. The prices are outrageous. I stick to the cruise
Starting point is 00:40:19 Yeah, they're really only good things about the cruise the. That's where all the action is at. A literal floating dysentery opportunity. You two can get the shits for three or four days if you take a cruise, but with the Disney cruises. The Disney cruise that I've heard, I'm like a thing. I've been, and I gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised. I didn't expect much. I expected to wait in lines, be miserable, and have screaming kids all over the place,
Starting point is 00:40:43 and only two of those things happened. So I was like, you know, presently surprised at the whole situation. And I think that's the way to do it. You got to creep around at night with your camera. Oh dude, was I? Was I? Was I? I was creeping around.
Starting point is 00:40:55 You know they have that new Royal Caribbean, has the world's largest cruise ship. Did you see that? I saw that. It's huge. I watched somebody take a tour of that and I have been on a- Like seven pools and blah, blah, an ice skating rink, the movie theater, this, that. I mean, it's a full city. Multiple theaters, huge casino, seven pools over three decks.
Starting point is 00:41:18 They have a city inside of the ship and then they have like a gangway, like a galley that has- it's like a mall with multiple restaurants They like 72 restaurants and eateries and stations where you can grab food. I know not everybody's up for cruising I know it's not everybody's you know to be stuck on a boat with a bunch of people and you know running around But there's something kind of cool about like a city floating in the middle of the ocean going from one place to the other Where I went on the second large now the third largest cruise ship in the middle of the ocean going from one place to the other where I went on the second large now The third largest cruise ship in the world I went on there and I went on a cruise in Europe and I gotta tell you I didn't even make it to I was there
Starting point is 00:41:54 I was on that cruise ship for ten days I did not make it to every part of that cruise ship and I was creeping around 24 hours a day seven days a week The problem with that cruise ship is it really never sleeps? So there are always people around it's not like there's no downtime with that cruise ship is it really never sleeps so there are always people around It's not like there's no downtime on that cruise ship because they have if there's a fucking mall There's a city they have trees that are bigger than the trees out front of my house growing in the middle of the fucking cruise ship And they're real it's amazing. I'm like Humans can do really fucking cool things when they put their minds to it
Starting point is 00:42:23 Slapping a hostess 50 times in the forehead because you didn't get to sit at some fancy restaurant in Disney World where kids go is a fucking ass clown move. Yes. God, it makes me angry, Chrissy. I know. It really does. I don't know why. Well, me too.
Starting point is 00:42:36 I hope he's punished. He should be punished. And he's not suing Disney World. The bear bottom spanking is what he needs. Bear bottom spanking. Now you gotta be going. You're too excited. You and Jeff have been.
Starting point is 00:42:48 I know you and Jeff are up to it. They called me last night. They did. We're talking about this and that, the other thing regarding the podcast. Jizzy Jeff and I are having a little man conversation about what to do with the commercial break. You know, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Like a board of directors meeting between Jeff and I. We had a little directors meeting. Yeah, little directors meeting. I was cooking with my EVO role. She was cooking with the EVO. Oh, and they told me that Jeff said that he had a riding crop, and he was smacking Hoadley on the butt every time. No, I was smacking him.
Starting point is 00:43:16 He was smacking you every time. I was smacking him. He was wearing his chaps. I was smacking him whenever he didn't serve something correctly. To just have a camera, just one camera in the house, right? We can blur things out later on down the road, but I just imagine like Chrissy's naked butt and Jeff's naked ass, and he's just over there twiddling his little figs and berries.
Starting point is 00:43:37 Extraverteous olive oil, love roast. Evo's hot splashing on his nipples, and he's like, Ow, ow, ow! And Chrissy's like, get back there and cook those eggs. Get back there, Jeff. And he's like, yes ma'am, yes ma'am. Medium, oh breezy. Yeah, get that lettuce washed.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Swear to God, did you mince the garlic or chop the garlic? Cause there's a difference, Jeff. I don't know ma'am, I don't know. You're gonna know. And then Chrissy just like takes a spoonful of hot oil and just throws it on his balls. Ah, you deserve it.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Yes ma'am, I do. Yes, mistress, yes, mistress. Oh God, I swear to God, swear to God. If we ever do anything outside of this studio, it's going to include live video from their house because there's some shit going on down there that none of us know about. But I think I'm getting close to the truth here
Starting point is 00:44:31 on the commercial break. You're tipping away. All right, let's chip away at our debt by playing some commercials. Okay. We'll be back. Ugh, finally, I feel like I was waiting forever for my turn to talk.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Now that I have you, go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video content, and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast. Wanted to be your turn to talk? Call us and spill the tea at 626-ASK-TCB3, and you may hear your voice on the show. You can also text us your tea at 855-TCB-8383 and boy do we love to hear it. Anyway, take a listen to our sponsors and let's get back to the show. You're turning into an old lady. Chrissy's got a bird cam out of her house. I'm enthralled. I'm not becoming enthralled with the birds that come to the bird feeder
Starting point is 00:45:24 that we have outside. And we're always like, there's a new one. And what is that one called? And we're trying to look them up and I'm taking pictures and they're blurry because I'm trying to take them through the window and whatever. So we got the bird buddy.
Starting point is 00:45:35 You got the bird buddy, which is like, what, a little camera that takes pictures when they come? It's a bird house. You fill it with the food and there's a camera right there. So interesting. I know, it's really fascinating. That is kind of cool actually. Text pictures identifies the species.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Yeah, you just had a saffron finch at your house. I didn't know that such thing is a saffron finch. I didn't either. Saffron is one of my least favorite smells in the world, but the saffron finch is very pretty at your house. It's beautiful. Yes, I want one of those at Chrissy's house. I want a little bird house
Starting point is 00:46:01 that we can put in Chrissy's house. Except inside. I want the bird buddy. I want the ball buddy. Yeah. It is what I want a little bird house. We can put in Chrissy's house. I want the bird buddy. I want the ball buddy. It's what I want. Every time Jeff's berries come out, I want to take a picture. Can I identify them? Yes, identify. I want a heat sensor too. I want to tell me what temperature it's at so we can figure out when Jeff's most fertile. Oh my God. We were talking the other day and
Starting point is 00:46:23 I was talking about one of my kids, you know, packing to go to their grandparents house. And she was like counting to get away with putting, I said bring three and she had like ten and so she said I'll count, I'll count. She was going one, one, one, one, one, two, two, three, three. So I was, I was just laughing about this because I forgot what I was gonna say. three. So I was, I was just laughing about this because I forgot what I was going to say. You were thinking about just berries. Oh, okay. Okay. So I said, so I said, that's how we ended up with so much children, so many children. We kept counting the days wrong. One first day of the cycle, one, one, one, one. Right. So that's how we ended up with so much children. So then I somehow some way, of course, Instagram
Starting point is 00:47:07 popped up some fertilization app that's out there now where you can like, time and tell your schedule and do your thing. I'm here to tell you, be careful, because that shit don't always work. It doesn't always work. You gotta be careful about that stuff. I think that's a, listen, in this country right now,
Starting point is 00:47:24 the contraception is more important than ever, right? And prophylactic means you gotta get it done. But I went on the website and I was like, ooh, this sounds like a recipe for disaster. Like I hope this, I hope these people, these people with the best of intentions to tell women and men how they can avoid or how they can get pregnant.
Starting point is 00:47:43 This like prophylactic method. Uh, there's a lot of suing going to go on because I'm sure that that stuff isn't right half the fucking time. Can't sperm live for like 30 days or something, some shit like that. Something like that. I don't know. Speaking of, it's about time for me to worry about that. I do.
Starting point is 00:47:57 And I do. I don't have to worry about that. Well, Jeff's gone for two tests, right? Yeah. And he's clear. Okay. He's clear. I haven't done my one test yet.
Starting point is 00:48:04 It's coming up very soon, right? In the next couple of days, I got to do my window. I got to alert the whole staff and team over there. I'm so in jump of a prop. Urologist. It's so crazy. I can't believe you don't have to send it off. No.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Not with this, no, this version you have to literally call. Let them know. I'm about to go. I'm about to jizz right It's so it's so crazy You have to plan it I'm sorry, he's not in. Yeah, I mean that's what I was going to say. You've got to really plan this out, like to when the doctor is going to be there.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Yeah, I feel like I got to edge myself for an hour while I'm waiting for the doctor to call me back to let me know what time to bring the jizz in. I'm just like, I don't know what time I should bring the jizz in. Apparently they do it by microscope, like they put it under the microscope, but I have a certain window to get it to them before the sperm die, and then it's like, they can't use it. But I'm just hoping that I get it knocked out, you know, first time.
Starting point is 00:49:14 I'm hoping that I have to do this twice, but you know, knowing me, I'll have to do it five times and embarrass myself every time as I'm bringing this milky cup into the, I don't want to go through the lobby with that. I guess I'm gonna have to put under a coat or a trash bag or something.
Starting point is 00:49:26 I cannot believe they didn't even give you like a little box or something. They did give me a box. But one of my kids took it to play with it and it got thrown away after they broke it. Well, I'll use an Amazon box. Yeah, I should probably put my jizz cup up away from the children, but I just threw my jizz cup on the floor.
Starting point is 00:49:44 One of my kids is like eating strawberries out of the jizz cup. And then the doctor's going to be like, there's strawberry juice in here. Well, doctor, you know what they say. I mean, I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. It's like, I guess there's, I mean, I know somebody else. You might want to call and recheck this whole situation.
Starting point is 00:50:01 They have gave me a whole sheet of paper and I have the sheet of paper. And I just read it two days ago and it was like yes I have to call and by the way there is somebody else who I knew who had a vasectomy you have to do the same thing. Now here's the good news. I have found that there is a branch of this particular urology company that is right down the street from my house so at least I don't have to like time it out too much. I can be there in like seven minutes.
Starting point is 00:50:28 I'd almost rather, and I know they don't do this very often anymore, but I would almost rather jizz there because at least then I know I'm there. I can jizz, they know it's fresh, everything's fine. How I would reach climax while I was in a doctor's office bathroom. I'm not sure But you know, it's the internet like you know, I'm sure I could find something to hang on to didn't you see there was a hot nurse involved there at the place. Oh my god
Starting point is 00:50:54 Fucking nurse lepa nurse do a lepa came in to you know shave my balls prep me You know and she was handling it like it was I don't know radioactive She was like had one finger like this and she was like But it should indicate how little I'm working with when I say one finger Because it was one finger to two fingers she grabbed it like she was grabbing I don't know like a baby would grab a piece of food off of a thing and I was just, but I was so high I didn't care at the time. Yeah, chopsticks exactly.
Starting point is 00:51:28 Maybe she should have used chopsticks. Fresh chopsticks, the wooden kind, where you have to slide them. Make sure you don't get splinters in your mouth. Yeah. Imagine end up getting a splinter in your dick from chopsticks. Oh man, that would be rather unpleasant.
Starting point is 00:51:46 And you know, I am a big boy and I understand that there's lots, thousands and thousands of men that probably get this done on a daily basis. I'm not the only guy who has to jizz in a cup. There's lots of jizzing going on around the world and lots of jizzing going into cups to make sure that everything's okay.
Starting point is 00:52:02 You're the counters perm counter or whatever. But there's just something so, like this takes me back to like seventh grade when I'm trying to avoid standing up in the classroom with a boner, right? I feel so embarrassed about having to bring my jizz cup in. I would just like, I wanna go in there with a trench coat and then leave with a trench coat.
Starting point is 00:52:19 It's literally their business. I know. You're not taking it in the Starbucks. No, that's true. Or the car wash. Do you know? Or whatever. You're taking it to the place that this is their business. That's true. That's true. And there's mostly even, women go to urologists too, but there's, it was mostly men that I've seen in there, right? I don't think there's, I think a lot of women go to urologists, but maybe not this particular practice. I'm seeing in there, right? I don't think there's, I think a lot of women go to urologists, but maybe not this particular practice. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:52:46 There was not a lot of women around that were not nurses or people working at the front desk or assistants and all of them were women, except for the doctor. So I got to navigate kind of this, I don't know, this road of ladies that I want to somewhat respect me as a human being. And then I got
Starting point is 00:53:05 to shake my jizz in front of them. Hopefully you're never gonna see him again. Hopefully, I'll never see them again unless I have to go back and do it again. Didn't Jeff have to go back and do it twice? No, he didn't have to go back and have another surgery. He just had to provide another sample. No, that's what I'm saying, but he had to go twice because the first one didn't work out. We sent ours away. Oh, you did? Yeah. We didn't have to leave the house. Really? No.
Starting point is 00:53:27 That's why I'm so surprised you have to do this whole dance. And did you and Jeff use EVOO as a part of extracting that sample? That's what I should do. I should tell Astrid. I should say Astrid. Yeah. Come on in here. Help me out a little bit.
Starting point is 00:53:41 Yes. It was a team effort. You're beautiful. We've done this before. Right. You know, and it ended up with more children. But I promise you this time, let's do it where we can't, where it's almost certain we're not going to have children.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Let's do it that way. Yeah. And, you know, give me a hand, Shandy. And then, you know, I'm going to have to get in and do the commercial break. But if you drop this off on the way to pick up the kids, I would appreciate it. They should have like a night drop box where you just like drop like a jizz drop. Or like at the bank. Yeah, the little night deposit back. Hi Mr. Green.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Hi, I'm here for my deposit. Yes. If you give me just one second, I'll get that to you. Yeah, you know what? That's not a bad idea actually. That's what they should do. I'll get that too. Oh! Yeah, you know what? That's not a bad idea actually. That's what they should do. Well, of course you have a urologist that actually has technology,
Starting point is 00:54:32 so they're gonna send it away in a box where I don't have to go anywhere. I just have to put it in. Do you think the US post office is like, oh, god damn it, another jizz drop? Ha ha ha ha. It could be. It didn't say it on the box. It was very nondescript box.
Starting point is 00:54:49 You know how they have the Ubers that will drop stuff off for you? Oh yeah. I got my glasses that one time. Remember I got glasses. I had an Uber driver drive 80 miles. Yes. Two hours before I was supposed to get on a plane.
Starting point is 00:54:59 I put a very close to a helicopter in the car. The guy wanted me to get on a helicopter but the owner wasn't there, remember? Okay. What if I hire the Uber to do the jizz drop He wanted the guy wanted me to get on a helicopter, but the guy what the owner wasn't there remember okay What if I hire the uber to do the jizz drop and I just give him a really nice tip Yeah, and I seal it in a box and maybe I put like a hand warmer and there you know the hand warmers you can get I put a couple hand warmers in the ones we have to like break them Yeah, exactly and I put a couple in there just to ensure that it stays well
Starting point is 00:55:21 And then I give it to the u driver and I say, could you please? Now I don't want anybody handling any kind of dangerous radioactive material. Yeah, so I would wrap it up. I do an Amazon like box. I put a box inside of a box, inside of a box, inside of a box, a babushka type thing.
Starting point is 00:55:36 And I'd wash my hands after each boxing. You know what I'm saying? That way no one has any problems. And I just give it to him and I say, listen, go drop this off front desk reception, sign for me, everything. They don't know who I am. You say you're Brian Greenwalk in there
Starting point is 00:55:49 and there's a nice $100 tip for doing for your trouble. I think you're making this more than it needs to be. I know, but you know, I'm a three year old in my head. Wait, let's quit. And that would mean that you're still in the non-age phase. I'm still in the non-age phase. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 00:56:08 What was our word today? Our word today was edify. Edify, to edify somebody. It means to improve, instruct or improve someone morally or intellectually. OK, well, I want to edify this process of putting jizz in a cup. Yes. We're not edifying anyone hereizz in a cup. Yeah. Yes.
Starting point is 00:56:25 We're not edifying anyone here by talking about this. That's right. If I can get an EKG on my fucking iPhone, I should be able to determine if I have any sperm left. Yeah, your watch. Yeah. Shouldn't that be the jizz on my watch, and it tells me, hey, you've got jizz.
Starting point is 00:56:39 Ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Oh. All right. www.tcbpodcast.com. You know how to do it. Go there. You can listen to the entire library, watch the entire library, and additionally, you can get your free piggy fronting sticker. Hit the contact us button. Drop down menu.
Starting point is 00:57:00 I want my free sticker. Send us your physical address. We'll send it off to you in seven to ten days. Also, we'd like to thank the good people at Odyssey. Go listen on the Odyssey app now available on the App Store or Android Store. Please go listen on Odyssey. Yes. Yes, please do. Okay. The other thing that I wanted to tell you is that my mom will be making an appearance on the podcast very shortly. If you would like to ask my mom something, you can send that question or that need for advice. You can send it via text message or voicemail to 1-626-ASK-TCB-3.
Starting point is 00:57:35 That's 626-ASK-TCB-3. Toll free from anywhere in the world. Ask Brian's mom, ask TCB questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. We take them all. feel free to leave us a voice message, actually quite a few people have left this voice message. I've now figured that out, yeah, so I'm editing those down. I'm now checking the right place mailbox.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Unbelievable, I'm so stupid, I'm just so stupid. Also, if you would please do us a favor at the commercial break on Instagram, follow us there, TCB podcast on TikTok. TCB to podcast at on tick TCB podcast on tick tock we would love it if you would follow us there or Yeah, we're still there YouTube.com slash the commercial break All right, Chrissy that is definitely all I can do for today. I think so. So I'll tell you that I love you.
Starting point is 00:58:27 I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. And I'll say best to you out there in the podcast universe. Best podcast audience in the world. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say, we always say and we must say,
Starting point is 00:58:38 goodbye! I I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me
Starting point is 00:59:20 I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me I'm not sure if you can hear me

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