The Commercial Break - I Smell An Opportunity!
Episode Date: May 25, 2022Dominos knows Bryan and Krissy. They used to order 2 to 3 pizzas every time they closed down the bar. Krissy recalls her days in radio sales where hearty "commission draws" were handed out only to be ...clawed back with every sales. Meanwhile, Bryan was in projection meetings suffering with other sales executives. The actor known for playing Buster Sales has had a rough road. Krissy reveals he has been leaning on his Blockbuster role up until recently! Finally, the rest of the Blockbuster Training video is reviewed....it's an OPPORTUNITY to laugh. LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383  Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, I'm Deborah. The order taker is the nerve center of the drive-through operation.
Welcome to Hardies, can I take your order please?
It's my job to take the customer's order accurately, being as friendly as possible,
and get them to the window as quickly as possible.
Ah, yeah, what are you guys down for?
Definitely, definitely bankruptcy, but what can I get you?
I guide the customer through their order, then I communicate it to the rest of the crew,
and help the others out as much as possible.
I've got a fresh pot of coffee, I just put it on last Tuesday.
Do anything you can to help out your teammates. Do whatever you can to keep that customer moving.
Not sure when the meat expired, but I'll throw a couple on.
On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Well, we're protected to lose $656,000 this month.
Brian, can you make up 60% of it?
On internet.
I know, and I'd be like, ah, that's self-streaming spots for a dollar,
and I will make it all up.
Brian, you got it.
Are you right, Brian?
Brian's got it.
I feel like this is like the early version
of Christian Grey.
Oh my gosh, school gym teacher whistle.
Yeah, a Christian Grey,
in the middle of a love-making social.
Christian Grey.
This guy.
Is he a lot of whistle?
Oh yeah.
Didn't you see the movie?
No.
You didn't see any of the movies?
He whistles every couple of.
Okay.
Every time I want to change positions, he whistles.
I'll whizz.
Oh, alright.
I'm just kidding.
Oh, Leslie.
He's been doing this by yourself the whole time.
You're a figment of her imagination.
No TV talks to you like that.
Honestly, I'm not sure.
This job is ultra complicated. Yeah, exactly. I've got a memory of all of them. Yeah, I'm not sure. This job is ultra complicated.
Yeah, I've got to memorize all this shit. I've got to know what's in the big book.
I've got a cell head cleaner. I've got to suck off Mrs. Willis's son.
Yeah.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Hey!
All right!
Yeah!
Yeah!
That commercial break!
I'm Brian Green!
This is my dear friend, Chris, enjoy
HODLY AND BEST OF YOU, Chris!
Bassy Ryan!
Besty you out there in the podcast universe.
Thanks for joining us on the other episode of this...
The commercial break!
The only one you'll ever need?
Guaranteed?
Fact news and fiction!
Five minutes or less less or your money back
I keep on changing the time like how much time I'm gonna give you before I fit all of those things in because it's mostly fiction
You can do like the dominoes delivery words
They have to stop that shit. Do you remember when that all happened?
So those of you that don't remember dominoes's big claim to fame, they avoid the noise.
I don't even know what that meant.
No.
No.
Avoid the noise.
Yeah, it was like the sky with like big ears
and he was a claymation doll
and he'd like pop on the screen and be like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I. So, I beg my parents until they let me have a pizza or they gave me some cash when they went,
you know, they go out on a date and they'd be like,
here, yeah, they'd have a diamond up.
They're on couple 20s and then they'd have a yeah.
They're on 120 and you get like seven pizzas
for that one tour.
That's true, that's the entire,
all four of my brothers.
We used to order a bunch of dominos, didn't we?
Like those pizzas, you like the black olives.
I like the black olives.
And the pepperoni.
Before they changed the sauce
and then they went and changed the sauce
and it got bad.
Yeah, it got sweet.
That's right. Sweet and they put and changed the sauce and it got bad. Sweet. Yeah, it got sweet.
That's right.
Sweet and they put a bunch of weird spices on the crust.
Dominoes became crappy.
Yeah.
And now I never ordered Dominoes.
I have an order Dominoes in maybe 10 years.
No, no.
But you and I, yes.
That would be our go-to, two in the morning because we knew Dominoes was open till three.
So we'd be like, gotta get home before Dominoes closes.
So there would be like these guys again
yeah
hey it's Brian and Craig
oh yeah what do you want Brian and Chrissy?
we're at the bar boys you're becoming like 26 minutes
can you make it over with if he speaks doesn't block all of us?
and understand a fucking word you say and you're in a bar, but if I understand from your order history here, it's every Friday and Saturday night three pizzas, one with black olives, one a second here, give me a second. Last call, I'll take two more bloodlights, thanks.
Christy, is that what do we want to own in a pizza?
Okay, Mr. Green, I'm gonna get them for you.
What do I want to do?
That's a whole book with a image.
I'll get them, Christy.
Did that go for number?
The girl, and then she goes, it's a pink top.
I got her a phone number.
Okay, we'll see you in like 15 minutes, Mr. Green.
22 minutes, okay, we'll see you in a minute.
Come back here for a second.
Bye.
Oh yeah. And they know exactly. The same delivery driver would be like, Jesus, 22 minutes, got that number. Bye! Oh yeah.
And they know exactly.
And the same delivery driver would be like,
Jesus, fucking Christ, these guys.
And we'd always be so happy if you could tip well.
We would tip well.
We would tip well.
Here's a hundred.
Thanks for bringing my pizza five seconds now.
This is three.
But eventually, I think it even got too much to live with.
Oh, yeah, that clear channel money.
Yeah, we have that clear channel cash.
What up, clear channel?
Every, every two Fridays, dropping that coin in my bank,
after taxes, $2,000.
Draws against commission, forget about it.
Draws against commission.
I'm another $6,000 in the hole, no one cares.
I remember one time I got like really far in the hole.
I was like, what about some of you, do you get no page?
Yeah, I know.
I know your boss.
Right.
And then I would have a big sale.
Yeah, you have one big sale in the stuff.
And you can have that.
Yeah, I was management so I didn't,
I didn't worry about all that jazz,
but I just had to worry about projection.
Oh, on commission.
Projections.
It was like, every Monday fucking projections
with that God damn sales director
and the motherfucking market president
that shithead other sales guy in there.
And then I'll be like, uh, well,
we're projected to lose $656,000 this month.
Brian, can you make up 60% of it on internet?
I know, and I'd be like, uh,
ah, sales streaming spots for a dollar. And I will make it all up. I know, and I'd be like, ah, that's sales-dreaming spots for a dollar,
and I will make it all up.
Brian, you got it.
You're right, Brian's got it.
Brian's got it.
I was the only one in the green,
and here's the reason,
let me explain how math works in businesses.
When you go from zero to $100,
you have essentially raised your,
you have gone a thousand percent up.
A hundred percent.
More than that.
Out of the how it works, it's much of zero's.
There was a thousand dollars to be a thousand percent.
Okay, that whatever.
Yes.
So I went up like 600 million percent.
Right.
So they counted on me.
But the truth was, is that I just went from zero to something.
That's all I did.
I went from negative to a positive,
and that's what happens.
Everybody would just be like,
Brian, can you take 20,000 of my budget?
And I'd be like, 20,000.
Where am I gonna get?
Who's gonna spend 20,000 on streaming spots?
There's six people listening.
Yeah, the time, yeah.
Yeah, no one gives this shit about, you know,
bumbo, Rambo in the morning.
Fuck, it's streaming from your iPhone one
We got clean as tea in the morning what do you want 70 streaming spots $5
We went to the police
That that was my account was the police academy.
The training and I had you go.
Oh my God, I was so nervous.
I was like, they're gonna check my ID.
I was suspended like this.
I love those guys, they were so fun.
Yeah, they were really nice.
The guine...
Yeah, the guinex cop cat.
They were great people.
They really were.
We pitched them.
They never followed up.
Well, they did.
They actually bought a banner at.
I remember it was like I was like a recruiting banner
It was they get it would recruit. I think we gave it to him for free. No hope they would buy something
But I'll never forget my sales outfit. Yeah, god Chris
Those are the guys. Yeah, now look at us. Now look at us. Oh
Rip G. Wow, we showed them as best to you
If you can't beat him, join him. I remember I had one old turd of a sales guy and he knew every strip club in town better
than most people know their own houses.
And he'd come in and he'd be like, the goldenony wants to buy $50,000 worth of banner ads.
And I'd be like, yeah, Golden Pony.
I was so excited.
Let him up.
And we just need to be able to show Tits and Vagina.
Is that okay with you?
And I'd be like, sure, okay by me.
Corporate would call.
We're getting complaints about naked women on the website.
It's not allowed.
Yeah, you want money?
You got to put naked women on the website.
That's how the internet works. That is the internet. The whole internet is based on naked women
and people paying money for it. That's it. That's why we have the internet. Oh my God.
What a what a fun time. What a fun time. Anyway, we want to give you an update on the last
episode. Yes. We did. We reviewed the blockbuster.. We did do something that we said we were going to do.
One time. Don't do that. I don't want to spoil you, but here we go. So here we go.
Last time we talked about we were introduced through a sales training video from a blockbuster
from years ago. Yes. And we were introduced to Buster Sales. Blockbuster Buster.
Yeah, his name was Buster Sales.
He calls himself Buster Sales.
He comes through the video, talks to this poor
and suspecting a girl, Marie.
He's probably getting paid $4 an hour at the time
and he is braiding her.
He's just calling her, he's like,
he's like, she'd be like, did I do a good job?
And he'd be like, not really.
One out of three.
I've seen branches fall off trees more effectively.
He was all about the opportunity.
She was missing.
Okay, so we looked him up.
We said, who is this guy?
And what else has he been?
Who's the actor who played this?
Yeah, his name's Eric Rodriguez,
affectionately known as Erod.
To some people. Not toately known as Erod to some people.
Not to be confused with a rod.
Yes, very different, very different.
Uh, Eric Rodriguez on IMDB, he, he, I was surprised to know this that he was the blockbuster
buster from 2010 to 2022.
I think this year.
Yeah.
How? There's one blockbuster. I'm going gonna take a guess. I'm gonna take a guess.
He has reoccurred as a character in comedy parody movies. And that's why they call him
Blockbuster Buster. I'm gonna take a bit of filmography, the Blockbuster Buster. Okay.
It does say a TV series, but it was oh wait, it looks like it's maybe animation. Look. Oh blockbuster
Buster he's busting through they made a fucking animated movie about blockbuster buster. Yes, it's a series
Wow, you know, sometimes you just get lucky in life. It didn't get very good score
We're gonna review blockbuster buster
score. We're going to review Blockbuster Buster pretty soon. Yeah. And so that was one thing. He also to his credit was the he was part of something called the Wellsheet reviews.
The Wellsheet. And that's where a good natured Wellsheet reviews films and TV shows for
which he has a soft spot. Well, it's kind of like the commercial break. It got better ratings than the blog master
Well, you don't say
And he also started something to boldly flea to boldly flea
There's nothing like boldly
I'm scared of on here
Be bold
Be brave be bold head for the hills. It got worse reviews than the,
my master pastor.
And that's kind of what happened.
Poor E-Rod.
You know, you feel bad.
You really do feel bad for these actors and actresses
who they have like one glimmer of hope.
See, E-Rod probably gets to this job.
His agent probably calls and says,
I want you to run down and I want you to do a little audition.
Audition, yeah.
Some corporate training video, but listen.
E-Rod is gonna see it.
I've been your agent for 37 years.
The most thing you've been in is a summer stock
at the local theater.
Just go.
I just one more.
Just one more audition.
E-Rod's probably like, suicide,
oh my God, I can't take it anymore.
And he goes there and they're like,
okay, act like an asshole. And he's I can't take it anymore. And he goes there and they're like, okay,
act like an asshole.
He's summing up your asshole.
And he's like, listen here, it looks girly.
Where does his stupid looking shirt and tie?
And that's probably his own shirt and tie.
He probably showed up in that.
Might be.
And they said he was probably one of three people
who showed up and he's the only one
of the acting experience and they go,
great, you're hired.
That shirt and that tie tomorrow, this time here.
Pay $100.
And he does this.
And Eric goes home, and I can hear it right now.
It goes home to his girlfriend, or his wife, or his fiancee.
You won't believe it.
I got the part.
You got the part.
I got the part.
You got the part.
What are you doing?
Bot Buster training video.
But listen, it's a start.
Everyone starts somewhere. And then that is the pinnacle. What are you doing? Blockbuster training video. But listen, it's a start.
Everyone starts somewhere.
And then that is the pinnacle of your life,
just like this fucking commercial break.
Yeah.
Well, we've got to start somewhere.
Well, this is more of a Vibri and also.
We're plateauing.
I think we plateaued like episode number 50,
but people are just catching on now to the failure.
They're like, oh, let me listen to that episode.
That's a dry drag.
So can you imagine how that feels?
That must feel.
It's a working actor.
So working actor didn't do anything,
except for Vofa's rotating videos, something called
Bravely or whatever.
Yeah, well series.
The well series.
Yeah.
The happy well she helped.
Whatever the fuck that's killed.
Oh, well.
Hey John, it's your agent Bob.
Hey, Erod, it's Bob, your agent.
Hey Bob.
Listen, I want you to cheer up.
I can, I go on four auditions a day and I haven't been hired since Blockbuster.
Listen, stop with that piss-poor attitude.
I have got to lead for you. No audition.
No audition.
It's an absolute, it's already financed.
Finance already?
It's gonna be a hit.
I like what you're saying. This could be this could be my moment.
This could be give it gets me out of that blockbuster rut. This could be the thing. It's called
the Dickie Walshi. Well, he was. He was probably being typecast. Yeah.
Yeah. Dickie Walshi. Well, she's not dickhead blockbuster. Jackass sales or whatever
your name was. This is it. Dickie Walshi gonna be huge. Yeah, it's a parody show. All you have to do is sit around and review
Shows that you love all right. I guess that sounds good now listen. That's the exciting part now. There's not such great news
What's that you have to fly
Did you don't get paid anybody?
Oh, at least they're paying for the ticket. They're not paying for the ticket. They're not paying for the ticket
It did run from 2011 to 2012 that had a good run
You mean they didn't pick up Dickie well she
Didn't know but it is the highest rated of his things on IMDb.
What happened to the girl in the video?
What was her name?
I forget.
Marie something.
Marie was her name in the video.
Okay, hold on.
Blockbuster training.
Oh, please.
I don't know if they're listening.
John, help me.
Don't.
Training video cast. Okay. Training old please
Training video cast okay, uh the girl is played by I
Just saw her name
Claire Claire something Claire yeah
All right, we might have to get back to everybody on that one. Yeah, we'll get back to you on that one. Wait, hold on.
It was filmed here in Roswell.
Oh.
Oh my God, that's crazy.
It was filmed here in our hometown.
Anyway, we'll get back to you on the girl,
but you know, that's just like, it's got a really suck.
Yeah.
When your entire life, all you want is just one thing,
and then you sparkle and fade on the blockbuster video.
Now, if his acting skills in the blockbuster video are any indication, I might understand why he
didn't get that big part he was looking for. It kind of reminds me of that band, 33 Willie.
I so wanted to be a rock star. So wanted to be a rock star. And the best thing that ever happened to me
was singing in front of a couple of thousand people
at a Halloween show, falling off stage.
Halloween.
Halloween 1996.
1997.
We're going to be famous.
They should do a behind the music on 33 Willie. They really should be a short episode. That's right. It's me, VH1 from 1997. We want to do a behind the music on 33 Willie. We're
fascinated by that concert you played. Which one? The concert you played. The concert you played which one the concert you played the concert you played the one by the I mean one
It's constitutes one that I didn't say multiple I didn't say those are these I said that
We're doing a 30-second movie on 33 Willie
How are you guys formed? How are you guys formed and then just showed me falling off stage and that's just closing up
The tragic downfall of 33, Willie.
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Okay, so I say we do this because we always promise people that we'll do this, but we never do this.
So now that we're talking about the blockbuster characters in the blockbuster video,
let's watch the rest of the blockbuster training video.
Okay.
You want to do that?
Yeah, okay, let's do it.
All right, let's turn on the old TCB full reaction shot.
Here we go.
Here she is.
I'm going with your lead. Okay, thank you. Let's turn on the old TCB full reaction shot. There we go.
Here she is. I'm going with your lead.
Okay, thank you.
Last time we left off, we saw Buster,
basically harassing some young girl at a blockbuster.
This is the Buster we've been talking about.
The blockbuster Buster, here he is with this young actress
and just to get the shticked here,
in case you didn't watch the first part of this,
he is actually talking on the television screen to this girl.
So they've been talking to each other.
He also randomly throws shit out of the TV screen like,
and berates her about what opportunity she's missing.
He's a universal asshole.
So let's take a listen as the second half of the blockbuster training video, probably
from the 1990s.
I'm going to guess early 90s.
About the gift certificates until after they've left. I should practice that. Listen, think, act.
I know. This is sound like such massaging. My mind control. Think, look, listen, shut up.
Those are the four things. Stop, drop and roll.
Stop, drop and roll.
Look both ways before you cross.
Yeah.
Pull out.
These are all things you should do.
Right.
It's as easy as one, two, three.
Ow.
Bleh.
The latest in audio technology at Blockbuster editing studios.
Brown!
Who's this guy?
He's frantic.
Okay, so it does do here that they're keeping up on the audio version.
Now all of a sudden, there's a a man like a nerdy man with glasses
Who's real short who's following her around the store while she's fixing boxes. Yeah, and he's un-fixing. Yeah, he's messing them up. Yeah
He's looking for something. Yeah
Excuse me. There's something I can help you find. Excuse me. You're an asshole. Yeah
Can you stop following me around the store? I'm a 60s movie buff. I've recently been convicted of child pornography
and I'm just looking to get near young girls. The eight video stores in the last three days
looking for the last movie.
I don't know the name that had both Peter Sellers and Woody Allen in it.
A new Woody Allen.
Had to be fucking Woody Allen.
This guy had to be Woody Allen.
Jason, this young girl around the store looking for a Woody fucking Allen movie.
God dammit Woody.
That would be Cassine, I'm a way out.
It's a spoof on James Bond film.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
Okay, now that I know the title, that's it.
Now that we know the title, you want to come back to my place?
Watch it.
Oh, I have to do it.
We just find it.
Oh, I don't know.
That's a pretty rare title.
Let's take a look.
Great.
I don't know. That's a pretty rare title.
Let's take a look.
Great.
Whoa!
Jesus, buster.
Oh, Jesus.
Jesus.
I'm interrupting the flow.
With a whistle, nonetheless.
We pulled out a fucking whistle.
He pulled out a whistle.
I feel like this is like the early version of Christian Grey.
Oh my gosh.
School gym teacher whistle.
Yeah, or Christian Grey. In the middle of school gym teacher whistle. Yeah, or Christian Grey,
in the middle of a love-making social.
Oh, I'm Christian Grey.
Thank you.
This guy.
Did he have a lot of whistle?
Oh yeah, didn't you see the movie?
You didn't see any of the movies?
He whistles every couple of.
Okay.
Every time I want to change positions, he whistles.
Oh, whistle, oh, all right.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
This is a whistle. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go Just kidding. It's the whistling. I got Chrissy.
He did.
Buster, my gosh.
Blockbuster carries thousands of titles, but they're not all in every store.
You could make this a lot easier on yourself, plus show your customers how to find almost
any movie they're looking for.
Just get the car and run down.
Got it.
Get the last.
You could make this a lot easier on yourself.
If you would just remember my four steps, shut up, listen and shut up.
What's the four steps?
Shut up.
Repeat with step one.
Open your car, pay for your own guys.
Go get this man, his Woody Allen movie.
You could make this a lot easier on yourself by faxing the following 342 stores, asking
them to fax you back with their
inventory and checking the list it's as easy as one two three
got it you got it where no I mean I've got a great idea have you ever seen our
gigantic catalog called video log it's got every movie title that's on video
you mean there are more titles than what you have here?
That's right.
You mean there are more movies than can fit in this 12 by 12 box?
That's amazing!
Cut, cut, cut, cut. This is Blockbuster Training video, Dan.
This isn't your local theater. Now get back there and do it more convincingly.
Wait, you mean there are more titles than can fit in this box? isn't your local theater now get back there and do it more convincingly wait you
mean there are more titles than can fit in this box that's perfect and that's
perfect your motivation is the fact that you don't know shit right I'll show you
I don't remember the catalog and any store I went to. I do.
I do.
I remember the catalog.
I remember it was there.
It's like a phone book.
You looked in it, but you never expected to find anything.
Yeah.
It is.
Casino Royale.
You know, if you ordered this today, it would probably be in by the end of the week.
And I could call you and you would be the proud owner of the last movie with Sellers and Allen. Fantastic. That's just what I need for my collection.
Listen, you can't even stop being a dick. You know what? You're not talking.
Yeah, no, no, no. Yellow sign just came with big yellow words that listen. Yes, stop, listen.
Unbelievable. Wow. this is really creepy.
It's very old.
Oh, what movies do you collect?
The comedies.
And I'm just starting a Peter Salar series.
How many porn?
Mainly Woody Allen and anime porn.
I know.
What a weirdo.
That's every movie every made.
That's a lot of pages there.
Now we just have the IMDB.
You can go to OneWeb page.
There's just one page.
It's called a web page. This is unbelievably old.
Really, you don't know much about his films. Oh, he's one of my favorites, especially in
the Pink Panther. He's think. Hey, why not consider running
return of the Pink Panther. I haven't seen that in years. Hey, great idea.
Okay, I'll go get your copy.
Okay.
This door's great.
I have, this door's great.
Do you do everything but wash your balls?
I just want to point out.
I just want to point out.
I had never been treated like this
by a boxer employee ever.
No, no, no.
That's what they were doing.
They were doing these videos
was to try and up the game. I would be lucky if I got a hello when I walked in the store. I no, no. That's what they were doing these videos was to try and up the game.
I would be lucky if I got a hello
when I walked in the store.
I mean, honestly.
Welcome to Blockbuster.
Welcome to Moosh.
We thought that was a good idea.
Uh-oh, he's going to come back.
Now you know, we're going to get more video, guy.
Yeah, there it comes. There's B come back. Now you know we're gonna get more video guy. Yeah
There's bus
Geez Wow, this is supposed to motivate your employees no winter blockbuster when under
No wonder Blockbuster went under.
Just got to say that.
We've seen the downfall.
We were watching the downfall.
This training video.
Buster was the downfall of Blockbuster.
It was.
Try to get your attention.
Well, if you don't mind, and rather you stick with the whistle,
what is it this time?
I found the man who's movie.
Yes.
And you're still adding 500.
Yes.
But you can't do anything, right?
And I've been following you around the store.
You're basically a useless woman.
And Blackbuster wants to promote you.
Blackbuster.
Blackbuster would like to underpay you
like the rest of the women.
Yes.
So you remember, listen, think, act?
Right.
Peter Sellers comedy.
Why are you doing it?
I can't with you, with my hair.
I can't win.
This is awful.
I mean, really?
This is like, he's, he's like living with someone with the narcissistic personality disorder.
Yeah. now think again
PVT tapes that's right
Pink Panther babies are for sale
There you go
So maybe you could show him the PVT tapes
And PV State T stands for pervert or what are we talking about here?
I don't know, personal video.
Personal video takeout.
Deep personal video test, I guess.
Yeah, PVT.
Change that name.
I know.
I'd.
Wow.
Yeah.
OK, here's your tapes and your popcorn and your raisinette.
God, Mrs. Harris is still there. bit of cheese. Mr. He was hanging
Her hair is avoiding her husband
She's now at the check out down. I feel like I've been hanging at the blockbuster for three hours
I mean, wow, well, she was trying to pick out those music videos for the son. Yeah, she had to pick out a bunch of
Individual music videos so they could have their own MTV's
Session I guess for their big party tomorrow night,
that Marie's not invited to because she does like Brian. And all his friends. Oh, and don't forget,
have these back Saturday by midnight. Okay, thanks. Oh, and if you see Brian telling mom's delivery service
has been covered. Okay. Thanks for all your help. Hey, Brian, you're probably just standing here. She picks out all the pieces of videos for you and your friends to watch tomorrow.
Oh, she's big, great.
That's great.
Oh, me, would you like to go to the party with me?
No, I don't think so.
I'm being manipulated by some guy on the television.
He won't let me go anywhere.
He crashes symbols.
And he says, I tried to do anything.
He says, I've got to do my own personal fashion shoot. Fashion photo shoot after work.
This is how all the girls get into acting.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
I was about to say, you know, she said,
if you see Brian and I was like, why don't you just call him,
but I forget there were no cell phones back then.
No, but there was an actual phone
How did he get popcorn now the guy in the TV has popcorn he's a dick
She's probably oh through a
Powered up idea. Oh you again look
Oh my god, thank you. What's the big idea?
Oh my God. Hey you, what's the big idea?
What's the big idea?
He was throwing popcorn in her hair.
Strew the, through the television.
Ow, he's a rassy.
But let me ask you, even in the 90s,
did you ever say that?
Hey, what's the big idea?
No, that's from like 1942.
Yeah, that's from our other training videos from the 50s.
Oh, it's just you.
Oh, it's just you.
That's schizophrenic image of it having in my head all day long. I haven't missed an
opportunity in at least 15 minutes. No, you've been doing great, but there's a
real challenge coming your way. This isn't gonna be your ordinary
opportunity. Well, are we fine? Just leave me me alone. Get out of my head.
That's so scary.
The more that I watch it, the more I'm like,
this is like, weird.
It's very weird.
In the year 2022, this would be like a psychological thriller.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's like, there's another opportunity coming your way
and I'm watching.
You didn't call it a slag.
Everywhere.
I'm eating popcorn, waiting for you to fuck up so I can pounce on your mind.
Your little mind.
Matter of listening, thinking, and acting on it.
There's nothing to it.
Good.
And remember, anything a customer says or does can be a clue.
And sometimes you have to listen very carefully to hear an opportunity. Thanks, but I think I'm getting the hang of it.
We'll see. This is not very like ADA either for like, you know, the only people trying to
introduce you to her. No. Not very equal. No, Chrissy, there's nothing about this video
that's inclusive. This is one man basically talking down and gaslighting a woman for 30 minutes.
But it's funny.
It's fun.
Okay.
Dugs and nerd.
Yeah, maybe so, but Mrs. Simpson is an opposite.
He's got a big dick.
If you can find it.
You don't know, there's an opportunity.
Yeah, maybe so, but he's got 21 year old balls
and those things sit way up high.
There's an opportunity.
Yeah, it does an opportunity growing
in my trousers right now.
Here comes an opportunity.
It's an opportunity to see an unsuccumcised penis.
Take it.
Do it.
What do you say?
Come on back to the room.
Come on to the back room.
I'm back there too.
I'm at every TV.
There's a training room.
There's a training room.
You can reach through and grab my dick.
There's a little hole.
There's a little glory hole in the TV.
I'm going to stick my penis out of it.
You rub it real hard.
Remember, think, shut up and rub hard.
Hello, Mrs. Simpson.
Hi Marie.
Marie, have you ever met my son, Douglas?
Hi, Doug.
Hello, Marie.
We're trying to get Douglas we're trying to get Douglas laid
Since you've been talking to that crazy person the television
We figured you wouldn't mind sleeping with my son. What do you say?
P.S. Be a good girl and come over here and play her give Douglas a hand job
Look that dude's on the background. Oh, no, yeah, he's watching. Look at his face.
Oh!
He's awww.
I'm getting ready for that glory, old dick.
Aw.
So, looks like you have everything you wanted?
Yes, but sometimes I just can't make up my mind.
You have such a large selection.
I know.
We have over 6,000 titles in our store.
Problem is my husband Richard.
He just goes bananas.
If I spend more than $10 on movies.
Of course, he spends that on fishing lures
and never say to women about it.
He spends that at the strip club in the first five minutes,
but he never says a word about it. Me, I at the strip club in the first five minutes, but he never says
a word about it. Me, I by $10 were the formula for the brand new baby and I get smacked.
This is the worst. This is the worst. Oh my God. This is from the fifties. This is worse than
the fifties that we were doing. This is worse than the way we were. Yes. Yes. Women are
there's no consideration whatsoever given to women in this.
This was clearly written by a bunch of old Staggie men who just want to make fun of women
basically.
I mean yeah.
Talk to them.
And what's up with Douglas?
Douglas is a rather gauky looking young man with curly hair and bad teeth.
Yeah, bad skin.
One it two more tapes.
$10 limit. Why don't you just come in the storm more often?
You get two or three more tapes each week.
That way you stay below your husband's $10 limit
and you get to see more.
You spend $10 every day.
Yeah, it's like...
If you stay under your husband's $10 limit every day,
you'll spend $3,650 in a year that way you will never notice us women we got
to stick together you know what I'm saying now what about Douglas does he still need a hand job
Hey, I'm John. I'm Liz Dane.
I'm singing.
So helpful and clever.
Doug, isn't she sweet?
She's sunshine on a cloudy day.
Oh, poor Douglas.
He's a poor Doug.
He doesn't go to the regular school.
No.
Yeah.
No, he doesn't.
She sunshine on a cloudy day. Oh, yeah. Oh, he does it. She's sunshine.
No, I'm a cloudy day.
We were just talking the other day about pickup lines.
That was a good one.
That was actually a good one, Douglas.
I think Marie's convinced.
I think Marie will do anything anybody tells her to, basically,
how she's being portrayed.
It's been brainwashed.
Is there anything else I can get you?
We have a special microwave popcorn.
No, I don't think so.
Besides, honestly, I don't think that'll clunker
of a VCR is going to make it through all these tapes.
The picture just isn't clear anymore.
I'm sorry.
Don't even think about it.
Well, I don't think about it Marie.
Oh, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
I'm talking to the crazy person in my head.
I said it.
He's like, do you see him on the video? I see him. I'm sorry I'm talking to the crazy person in my head
He's a you see him on the video I see him Marie it's me buster you're missing an opportunity to sleep with Douglas so she spends more money on tapes pv. T
Now what are you gonna do here?
You want that $4.25 an hour? You better get to work for it.
Work for it, girl. Not only does Blockbuster sell videos, we also sell strip clubs.
Strip, we also sell lap dances.
That sucks.
Yeah, we'll sell anything.
Really is getting bad.
Have you claimed your VCR heads recently?
No.
Come back to the head of the V ever hair.
Douglas has his hands in his pants, I think.
Ha, ha, ha.
Douglas is jerking himself out of the counter.
He's got a cleaners head.
He's already cleaning his head right now.
Well, they say you should every 20 hours or so.
This is what we use an hours here in the store.
I think it does a really good job. Well. I think it does a really good job.
Well?
I think it does a really good job,
because I understand the mechanics of a cleaning VHS tape.
Right.
There, she's selling everything.
What?
Well, she's been brainwashed.
Yeah.
I mean, are you in the market for some hot real estate?
We're going to get the symbols if you don't do it.
You're going to get the whistle. Get the whistle or the symbol. Here you don't do it. You're gonna get the whistle.
Get the whistle or the symbol.
Here comes some more popcorn.
Watch out for my own circumcised penis.
Maybe I'll give it a try.
Okay, that'll be...
1584.
Right, 1584.
Oh, now you're gonna get a beaten.
Oh. 10 dollars. He's giving me. She went over. 84 right 18 84 now you're gonna get a beat
Over yeah, what is she gonna do? I want to go home with Mrs. I want to watch the video needs to go home with Mr. Willis I want to see what happens next. Well buster can be in her home. Yeah, I want five minutes with buster
I want buster for an interview what I want to find out is what happened to the actor who played buster
Our Douglas. Douglas.
Douglas, yes.
Me too.
Welcome, Alok Doug.
Goodbye, Marie.
Harding is such sweet sorrow.
He has a way with words, Gesene.
Bye.
Bye.
Don't forget Saturday before midnight.
Don't forget Saturday by midnight, a blackbuster comes a knockout.
Actually that's an opportunity.
Yeah, I smell an opportunity.
Don't tell them when it's due.
Just, you know, say back whenever you want and then you hit a boom.
Remember?
Get their address.
Wait till midnight.
Break their legs.
Yes. Remember, get their address, wait till midnight, break their legs.
Yes. And don't forget to sell them the extra care package, the health insurance, blockbuster health insurance.
So, how was I?
You were terrific.
Now, you ready to go out on your own?
Honestly, I'm not sure
He's been doing this by herself the whole time you're a figment of her imagination no TV talks to you like that
Honestly, I'm not sure this job is ultra complicated
Yeah, I've got a memory. I've got a memorize all this shit. I've got to know what's in the big book
I've got a cell clean this shit. I've got to know what's in the big book. I've got a cell clean head cleaner. I got a
Suck off Mrs. Willis's son. Yeah
I'm gonna keep you entertained. Yeah, I get a pig pop for out of my hair. I gotta I gotta go make a movie with Woody Allen's twin brother
I don't know what's going on
Don't spit that out I on. Don't spit that out.
I thought you were going to spit that out.
Pity even is a sense of.
But you didn't.
So tell me, what have you learned?
Well, to listen to the customers very carefully
and to think because anything they do or say
may be signs of their needs.
And to act on the opportunities,
once you see you're here then.
And then to give the customers
a kind of service they expect.
That's about it, isn't it?
I'll see you with your dreams.
That's about it.
I'll be waiting at your house, Marie.
It just disappeared. You just disappeared. From the video at Bog. I'll be waiting at your house
He just disappeared from the video at block that's the big twist in the thrillers. Yes, the twist is she was never ever there
Now she's stuck dating Brian and Douglas at the same time
She's gonna get sued by a bunch of people for selling them videos. They didn't want in the first place.
Marie has to pick up the pieces on part two of blockbuster's trading video.
How to survive blockbuster's trading videos. Yeah.
Hear that. I guess now I'm the opportunity expert.
I'm the opportunity expert.
Okay, okay, okay, I should have told him about the VCP rentals and cavements.
Oh, Joan.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I've suffered a Joan.
Yeah.
This is another woman talking to the television.
She comes over.
She's like, Joan, Joan.
I've been there before.
I've got some Medicaid.
I've got the number of therapists.
I've got some medication. There's a company psychiatrist. I think you there before. I've got some Medicaid. I've got the number of therapists. I've got some medication.
There's a company psychiatrist I think you should see.
Before you go handing out any hand jobs.
I went down a bad path.
Yeah, I found a little friend to talk to you.
Oh friend, oh no, I was, I was right.
Brian.
Hi Marie.
Oh Brian, Brian Harris.
You just missed your mom.
Wow, Brian Harris is 47 years old.
It's all time I thought they were all in high school. Remember if you remember Mrs. Harris came in and in part one, in part one of our episode.
Mrs. Harris came in, she was the first customer
of this girl interacted with, and the jackass
on the television buster said,
you missed an opportunity to date Brian Harris,
and she was like, wow, I missed my, you know, whatever.
Now, Mrs. Harris, as she left, said,
well, if you see Brian,
Brian was supposed to come in and meet her
to get these videos.
Mrs. Harris.
I can't wait to see all in the same night.
This is all in the same night.
Busters getting around, talking to different employees.
Meanwhile, Brian Harris does show up at the block, Buster.
And he is-
It's 45.
He is getting an AARP card tomorrow.
He is so old.
This is so fucking creepy.
I have to pick out some great videos.
I hear you're having a little get together over at your house.
Yeah.
Hey, just remember, listen, think, and act,
and tell Buster I said hi.
Oh, I'm going to change this piece.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Wow.
Good things do come to an end.
Whoa.
Just like this episode.
Wow.
That was a doozy.
It's so much better than I thought it would be.
So much better than that.
And worse.
Yeah, and worse.
Well, I mean, that might better, I mean worse.
That's what we do here.
Will you find the worst of the worst
and will you point out why it's bad
if you couldn't tell already?
I just think of all the blockbuster employees that are traumatized. Especially that had to sit through
this. That are traumatized. There's a series of these by the way. This is not the
only blockbuster training video out there. Maybe we'll watch one down the line.
But wow. The surprise twist at the end was Brian Harris is 47. And he's his mother to pick out music.
And he's his mother to pick out music videos for his party.
Meanwhile, Maria's all about it.
She's like, hey, Brian, come here.
Come on.
I hear you're having a party tomorrow.
Ah, indeed.
Well, here's to you, Irod.
I'm testing you.
Leaving your mark on the world of acting.
I don't even know what to tell you.
If you're still alive, if you happen to hear this message,
if you're around, you're hearing the commercial break,
we would love to have you on.
I wanna know.
I would love to.
Yeah, your experience with Blockbuster
and how that may or may not have changed your life.
For sure.
And I think it's a vendent now.
Yeah.
Things are different now than your rock and suckin' buckbuster.
I bet he was treated like a game too.
I got that guy.
I'm that guy.
You ever seen a buckbuster training video?
Hey.
Mr. Banka, you better sign off on that Corvette loan.
I'm gonna be a real superstar.
You know, Blockbuster?
I got that Blockbuster money.
I got that Blockbuster cash.
It's just like Clear Channel cash. They have a quite good senior baking cat.
Oh, okay, go to tcbpodcast.com.
That's where you find out more about Chrissy and I listen to all the audio, you can watch
all the video all from one location.
Also, do us a favor.
661-237-8296.
That's 661.
Best, the number 2.
Yo, yo-yo.
Best of you. Best of you. Best of you. 8296, that's 661, best, the number two, yo, y-o-yo.
Best of y-o.
Best of y-o, if you could, do us a favor and send us a text message.
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Okay, Chrissy, I certainly think that's
all we can do today.
It's been five hours.
Yeah.
I love you.
I love you.
Best of you.
Best of you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, the only thing we have left to do,
we must say, we do say say we do say we always say
bye I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again
I'm so happy to see you again you