The Commercial Break - I Want My D Rack Ribs

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

Bryan & Krissy take a rambling road down memory lane via food, Jam Land, and the lottery. I don’t know about y’all, but I’m hungry for an Awesome Blossom… Astrid is ON IT! She’s in charge of the food and Bryan’s ruining it Homemade vs boxed mac n cheese Ina Garten A jaeger-ater on your back porch? Jam Land! Bryan: he can’t cook, he can’t bake, he can’t jam! How do you tell someone you don’t like their food? Bryan’s melting grill A sushi system Scammin' the lotto Everyone in America has been to a Chili's Diarrhea Rack Ribs Bryan’s customers who won the lottery Bryan & Krissy would definitely still work if they won the lottery TCB, it’s an honest job Everybody should work at a restaurant! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted. On this episode of the commercial break. Ah, whoa, whoa! De-ly-ore-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire-ire those things were made. That's all I gotta say. You don't want to know who was making your ribs. That's all I gotta say. Number two. If you thought you could get ribs for $9.99 endless ribs at Chili's and fucking Gordon Ramsay was cooking them, you got a different story coming all together. The guy with one eyeball and a bad crystal net problem. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Oh yeah, Captain kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend, Kristen Joy, hopefully. Best to you, Chrissy. And that's Steve Ryan. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Hey, I just wanted to let you know something real quick. Okay, go. I just achieved a goal. One it got goals on my Apple Watch.

Oh, my Dan Vernie! Oh, my Dan scene. Here in the studio. Here in the studio. That's it. That's the only exercise I get. It's the only exercise I get is the only exercise I hate. It's just so I was dancing and all of a sudden

it was like, ding-ding, goal achieved. There you go. I, you know, someone was asking me the other day, they were like, I've lost a little bit of weight. And they were like, how did you lose the weight? And I said, I went on that that keto meat diet, meat only. And I did it for like five, six months. I want to say five or six months.

Last year, I did it. And the crazy thing was, it worked so incredibly well that even when I stopped the diet, I continued to lose weight. That's crazy. Isn't that insane? Now, I don't know if that's because my stomach's strong and I just had less of an appetite. I'm not like the world's...

Astrid? If... Astrid will come to me. But I ain't! What do you want for dinner next Tuesday night? And I'm like next Tuesday night. I don't even know what I'm doing in the next minute now. She's prepping meals.

She's prepping meals. She's prepping meals and food is so important to her daily routine, not that she eats a lot, but that she just like. Oh, it's me too, and I get where she's coming from. Why? Because you don't cook, and neither does Jeff. So.

Do you know that going into it, right? Who knows who's gonna do it? I don't know. I mean, I would have had to. You got three kids. And I have three kids. Well, that's true If I had to cook for those three kids five there's 12 to 13 of them I'm not even sure how many children I have at this point you could probably drop four children off in my front door And I think they're mine. I'd be like, okay, come on kids. Let's take a bath. I don't know

Everybody hop in the pool. Let's take a shower and then we'll go to bed. I don't know whatever What's that one's name? Everybody hop in the pool, let's take a shower and then we'll go to bed. I don't know, whatever. That's a sleepy diet. What's that one's name? Start with an M, doesn't it? Right? Huh? No? Okay.

Well, now it does. Start with M. That's right. You're now M-E. M-E-A. M-E-A. If I had to be left to the cooking, these kids would be taken away by D-Fast. That is why Astrid is on it. She's on it. Oh, she's a superpower house bad as bitch

No doubt about it, but when she asked me what I want to eat next fucking Tuesday I'm like Astrid you know me you've known me for so long. We've been together our minds are melded together I We have mind meld we officially have mind meld and let let me give you just a small example of mind meld. Ready? Today, kids are running around, the whole morning routine, kids are going to camp, whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I go, and one of my kids is running around with a remote control screaming and yelling about Peppa Pig or something like that.

In the bedroom, an asteroid is in preparing the other children inside of the bathroom. And without even thinking about it, I run up, I grab the remote control, and I say, hey, go in there and brush your teeth. And Astrid turns around and looks at me, and she goes, I was just about to say that. Mine meld, it's done, it's official. We are the same person. There is no difference between the two of us, except that she can cook, and I can't. And she can do finances, and I can't. And she can do finances and I can't. And she's

smart and I'm not. She's young and I'll never be again. There's a couple differences, but you know, you get it. You get it. You get it. You get it. Minor minor minor differences. Small differences. And so I just don't understand, I never understand how much food I'm eating or not eating because it's not a big deal to me, unless I'm having cream and cereal in which case at the middle of the night, and then I count how many bowls of cream it's there. I'm gonna have any.

Like if she just all of us in the stock cooking, you would be like, what are we having for dinner? I'd be pizza 24 hours a day. I'd be like, pizza, yeah, that's right. Even when you and me, you never cooked for me. Cody never cooked for me. You ordered pizza and you ate my bread. Those are the only two things that you did.

Bread was not safe in my house. I said, go, they would be like bread monster. You did. Or a good loaf of bread. As you just take your hand and turn. You just, those were the early days. The early days of what? Sleep eating.

Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah, the sleep eating problem. Yeah. It was purchased like drunk brain eating. Yeah, I mean, I think that's, yeah. And I got that a couple times where I like in the middle of the night just woke up and started eating stuff. There was that, I was sleepwalking there was at one time I went to the grocery store and got cranberry juice

At three in the morning and I locked myself out of the house Raphael was spending the night and he like a three in the morning. He's like hey Brian Brian Brian and I like woke up in the middle of the kitchen. I got cranberry juice.. He's like, hey, Brian, Brian, Brian, and I woke up in the middle of the kitchen. I love it, you got cranberry juice. I got cranberry juice. I'm not like some delicious food. I had no shoes on.

I had my wallet in my hand. Me and cranberry juice. I might have had your flip-ups on, but those were like having no shoes on. Well, no, I actually had no shoes on. Yeah, I had no shoes on. That's right. I walked through that Crogre Pockeenglott,

which probably, I probably picked up a couple bags of cocaine and some cracker. I had grocery shoes on. That's right. I walked through that Crograpoccaing lot, which probably, I probably picked up a couple bags of cocaine and some crackle. I had grocery store feet. I walked into the grocery store and there were no shoes to be found. They weren't in the car, they weren't outside, like according to Raphael, I was shoeless.

And he's like, no shit to, he kind of took to the next morning before I realized what happened. But I, and I was drunk, but I wasn't like stupid drunk. And when I went to bed at like 11 o'clock, at three in the morning, it had metabolized. It had metabolized, yeah.

I just kept getting drunker and drunk. The body was processing all the alcohol. But the next morning, Grafiel's like, dude, what were you doing at the gr, and I'm like, what are you talking about? And he's like, I actually had to let you in the house last night. I've seen those things. I mean, I've seen those on TV,

like how people will do that. They'll go through the drive-through. Yeah. They won't even know they've done it. Fully awake. Fully awake. Well, they're awake, but they're not. But you're not. Some part of your brain is sectioned off.

I don't know. I'm not ever sure the partition came. Because I think I'm still sleepwalking through most of my life. But thank God for us, I'm just not aware of how much I eat. I don't concern myself until I'm hungry. And then I'm like, what am I gonna eat?

But you're right, I also don't cook. So there's no pre-planning ahead. I just look for what I can graze on in the out. Which is the astros delicious cooking. Astros delicious cooking. If it wasn't for that menace-wailing food, I'd likely be just a pepperoni. That's what I'd be with pepperoni, that's right.

If the kids had to eat, I could survive for like four or five days because there's a couple of go-to's I have that I know that I could pull out of my ass. One of them is mac and cheese. I can do mac and cheese. One of them is pick up the... Homemade mac and cheese are we're talking about? Homemade mac and cheese. Of course, homemade mac and cheese. Okay, okay, pick up the... Homemade mac and cheese that we're talking about. Homemade mac and cheese.

Of course, homemade mac and cheese. Okay, okay, good. Yes, take it out of the box. No, no, no. Come with the cream mac and cheese. No. My mom used to make homemade mac and cheese. How the fuck do you make home mac and cheese?

Shred the chat. Oh, she did? Yeah, you did. Oh, look at a little bit of flour. Yeah. And noodles, yeah. I wonder what the best mac and cheese recipe is. I bet we could ask a few of our questions.

Inaigarden. Noice. Inaigarden. First step was really good. I wanna hate Inaigarden because she's in the Hamptons and she's always, I've got President Biden coming over for lunch this afternoon. So I'm fixing the flowers and making my own napkins

and I'm going to go spin some plates and put them in the kiln. And then we're going to do this and do that. She's so pompous. But she's so lovable at the same time. I don't she's not like that. I think Martha Stewart's a little bit more like that. Oh, Martha Stewart's like, yeah. But Inaigarne is more just like good straight up, good cooking. I'm sharing that my perspective is, when you live in the Hamptons, and all you're doing all day is running around, making flour baskets and food,

of course, to whoever is in her circle, that's she is doing an incredible thing for them. She's giving them a gift. Cookbooks, and I've bought lots of them and used them. Oh, really? It's so, you're in a garden, listening, cooking with Ina Garden. Yeah.

What I perceive when I've seen the show, to a few times I've seen the show, but when I perceive, when I see the show, is she's in the Hamptons in this beautiful house, making all this beautiful food, all these beautiful flower arrangements and all this other bullshit. Clearly, she's pretentious.

But the way that she comes across is extraordinarily likable. And so then I have this dichotomy going on in my head. I'm like, I wanna hate her, not hate her, but I wanna dislike her because she lives in the most beautiful place in the world and has this huge house and it can just sit around all day and cook food.

But I don't, because she seems very lovely. And then she makes all this lovely food and at the end of every episode I've seen, then she serves it to all her friends and family. Well, and her husband, most importantly, Jeffrey. Oh, his name is Jeffrey. I see what the connection here is. You think you're a little lion of garden over there. No, but I'm saying once again, the woman that's doing all the cooking and then the man enjoys the food. You got to admit. But cooking is actually therapeutic for me, I love it. I know that so many people, for so many people, it is.

No, it's like meditative. It's a gift. It's a gift. Like listening to music, doing a little this, a little that. I'm not a baker at all. That's super science. Baking science, yeah, that's very precise. That's very precise.

Yeah, it's very precise. I just want to do a dash of that and a glass of wine and a dash of that. I see cooking as a gift, like a real blessing and it's an art and it's a talent and when someone can do it, just like naturally cook something, you know, like Astrid, like she cooks these beautiful meals. And even the most simple of these beautiful meals,

it's wonderful and it's lovely and I feel such gratitude for someone sharing their talent and their gift with me in a way that's actually gonna help me sustain my life because left to my own devices, I would have had three heart attacks already, right? So I appreciate it and even I in a garden, I've come, that's again, it's like the, at first sight, at first glance, I wanna go, oh, she's like the, at first sight, at first glance,

I wanna go, she's got everything in the world. And at second glance, I go, but she seems so nice and lovely. She has, well, here's the thing, I know you need a good recipe that can be your go-to. Yeah. And not the Mac and cheese box. Okay.

I'm gonna teach you how to do this recipe and it is so easy, so simple, it's this chicken marinade and then you can, do you get a grill, don't you? I do, my brother actually just bought me one. Kevin actually sent me a grill. The grill, this chicken, it's so good. And that can be your good too. Then you'll be the specialty.

Like my dad, the specialty is the mashed potatoes. That's his thing. And he doesn't cook anything else. I used to have, like I could cook one meal. Did you need what you need one? Did I tell I used to have, like I could cook one meal. Did you need one? Did I tell you that I learned how to cook one meal when I was working back in the restaurant? The chef also said, he's like,

you gotta have one go to recipe that can help you get laid, bro. You gotta have one where you can invite girl over, you cook her a nice meal. It's Brian's famous, whatever. Brian's famous, whatever. So I figured out how to cook salmon Like like lemon chili lime salmon. I think it's a good one

It was a good one and I made it a number of times at home by myself because I didn't have anybody to cook it or share it with But I made it at home by myself and I gave it to my roommates and everybody seemed to like it. It was really good so I and I gave it to my roommates and everybody seemed to like it. It was really good. So, I, the very first time I'm gonna pull this out is with my ex-wife. I'm gonna pull out this recipe. I'm an impresser. We're just starting to date. I'm gonna do this.

So I go to the store. Let me settle in for this. Yes. I go to the store. Yes, settle in. Get back. Get comfortable. Yeah.

Okay. Brian's about to ramble for a long time. You want to take a nap over there. I'll wake you up from the stories over and you can laugh. No, I'm listening, I like it. So I go to this, let me back up a little bit. So I know that she's going to come over later on that night. My ex-wife, my future ex-wife at the time.

Future ex-wife. So horrible. It's an asshole, right? Julia, I'm just gonna say her name, everybody knows her ex-wife. Julia, she's gonna come over later on that night. So I wake up in the morning, which is probably the afternoon at that point in my life, but I wake up in the afternoon, and the local, the bartender who had worked for this for a long time, he had a pool in his backyard, and it was always the place to go on any weekend day Pool party and pool party meant

Absolute Sodom and Gomorrah everything and anything could be got there the guy had a fucking Cagorator on his back porch. He had a he had a A Yeager a raider on his back porch. Okay, so you can imagine back porch. No one needs that. No one needs that. No one needs that. Not to mention the guy who was always sitting at the end of the bar selling all kind of wares,

cocaine, deputy dabs, whatever you needed this guy was, he also happened to be best friends with the bartender. Of course. So he was always, he also happened to be best friends with the bartender. Of course. So he was always, he literally would post up shop at this pool. This pool, they'd live there so long he made like teaky huts and it was unbelievable. This pool scene. A picture, you know what I'm talking about when you think those chairs that are like in pools, yes, some hotels, yes, yes, yes, yes, he was in like a floaty

It was just like floating around or he was in the teaky hunt This guy made a fucking teaky hot. He had a teaky hot. He had tense. He had one side of the pool was they they called it Jam land. They called me jam land. So they would put me over in jam land I sit there jam land. I had a company once called Jam Land Productions. We did nothing. We didn't do anything. We put on one festival, we lost $1,000. So, no one showed up. That's it. Chrissy. That's a whole different story. I never told the story about Jam Land. I'll tell that story sometime. So, Jam Land, anyway, so I get the phone call, hey, you know, post up at the pool for a couple hours

and I was like, ah, I gotta be careful because you know, I got Julia coming over tonight so I gotta be careful. Well, I ended up at the pool and I posted up there for about seven hours and I was tore up. And I'm like, oh shit, I look at the clock, I'm like, oh shit, I got like an hour and a half, I gotta go make my chili lime salmon. I'm not hungry,, I'm like, oh shit, I got like an hour and a half, I got to go make my chili lime salmon.

I'm not hungry, but I got to go. I'll throw up anything I eat, but I'll go make it anyway. So I go to the store, I get the ingredients, I come home, I make the food, I make the chili lime, I put it in the oven, and then I go upstairs to get fresh a dub and I fall asleep. Burn salmon. Oh, it wasn't burnt salmon. It was burnt sea bass because I had picked up the wrong fish. So therefore I had cooked it incorrectly and it was burnt. It was burnt sea bass, chili live sea bass. And poor Julia, she struggled through it, but I mean, it was just bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. We ended up having to go out to eat.

She tried to eat it. I didn't eat much. I was kind of sick to my stomach at that point. But she went and she just like a champ took a couple bites and I just, I knew it at that point. I had to forgive her and I had to forgive myself. I had to forgive everybody in the situation. Jam landed everybody. Apologies all around. And we ended up going to the Chinese restaurant for food. But I used to have one really good dish that I could cook

and when I cooked it correctly with the right ingredients, then it turned out okay. Yeah, well that's good. But I've never been a baker either. Like, I've never even attempted to bake anything. That just seems to me like, literally, a recipe for disaster. I had attempted it before, and it's not like it's a...

I knew this girl one time, she baked, and she like, she started this little company where she was baking stuff, and it was terrible. Like, honestly, the food was terrible. That's so bad. What? She'd bring it over all the time, telling me to taste it.

Look what I mean. You know, super duper frosty cupcakes. So I'd be like, oh, great. Let me go in the bathroom and taste that. Flush. I just ate. Oh, I got to change my batteries in my fire extinguisher. Time for more blinkers.

It was terrible. Time for more banker food, Brian. You might take care of my parrot for a few months. No problem, brother. You might take care of my parrot for a few months. No problem, brother. I didn't know what this is. Put it back in jam land. Yeah, put it back in jam land.

It'll get taken care of. I trust me. There's gonna be a lot of people over there highly entertained by your parrot. Yeah, this girl used to bring over all these baked goods and I always used to be like, oh, that's so delicious. I just, I didn't know what else to say.

No, you can't say it's bad. What do you say? What is the appropriate thing to do when you don't like food? Here's the complaint that Atdassard has about me. Not the complaint, but the thing that she's noticed. And I believe it's true. I am not a picky eater, necessarily.

Like, you could put almost anything in front of me and I'll probably eat it. For God's sakes, I've had, you know, fucking horse testicles and, you know know cow heart and all this other shit Bull testicles not cow testicles What I say horse testicles To be clear, I've never tasted horse testicles horse I've never tasted horse testicles don't come at me

What deep but when you but when I go to a restaurant, I'm difficult to please, because I worked in the restaurant industry, and I just, like I find myself displeased with a lot of the food and a lot of the restaurants we go to, like I'm like, ah, it's okay, it's okay, it's my thing. But I never complain, I never say a word. I don't tell waiters or waitresses,

I don't say I don't like this, send it back. Never, ever, ever have I done that. Right. But you go over to somebody's house and they cook you something and it's just not good. What do you do? What is the appropriate thing to do? Eat a couple bites.

Excuse yourself. And then find something else maybe on the plate that you like, it's just one thing. You like pushing around. You push it around a little bit. I think I've gotten pretty good at pushing food. We've got salad. Usually a salad involves, you eat that.

Bread. You can have a roll with butter. It's hard to fuck that up. Yeah. Yeah, that usually come pre-packaged. Yeah. Have you ever, do you have a family member that cooks that you just don't like their food?

No. I do. Yeah, I do. Not a like an immediate family member, but there's a family member that cooks and I just fear the food. No, in my family, we all try to outdo each other. So we're all like really like superstars, like rocking and cooking. Especially during the pandemic, my sister and I would cook. What is why it's a week? Oh yeah. I was just about to tell the story that Kevin literally sent me a grill because we grill out a lot here. Yeah. In the 30s. I used to have this beautiful grill, gas, you

know, the whole thing on the side. But I only used it once in a blue moon to cook steak or burgers, right? If you ask me to cook the meat, I'm okay. I can cook the meat on a grill. Yeah. Not saying I'll grade at it, but I'm okay. I can figure out how to cook it So but that thing all of a sudden it broke and so then it was the pandemic and we had just started the commercial break And just like now with the commercial break. We're not making any money. We're making the same amount of money now as we were back then And so give us some more stuff Disgusting won't grow them. Do you have any horse testicles? This episode brought to you by Bob's horse testicles. Hey, it could be worse. It could be both testicles.

Hey, it could be worse. It could be Brian's famous sea bass, chilly and lime, birds souffle. Famous. It could be worse. It could be carrot, pineapple, upside down blueberry fucking cupcakes with extra sweet frosting on top. Double bubble, double bubble bubble, yeah. And that's the thing that gets me is all the fucking like, when this person was making these baked goods, is all the extras, like just playing with flavor combinations. Wow. But playing with flavor combinations that clear, like, you know, cardamom, cinnamon, lime, lemon, pineapple, purple, nerple, you know, double bubble, like put it up above up, put it all in one

and then just put extra sweet frosting on top and hope that it tastes okay. No. So I have this, so I got this grilled during the pandemic. So I look on Amazon, I get like a $32 grill, like one of those charcoal grills. Okay.

Cheap little tiny little charcoal grills. I'm looking for a grill right now. You can have my cheap little charcoal grill that I'm just throwing. So we have used this thing over and over again during the pandemic and it started to melt. We used it so much that the actual inside of it started to melt.

It just looks really good. Yeah, that's what $32 does. It's $30,000, does. Yeah, that's what $32 does. And so Kevin, my brother came over the other day and we cooked steak on the grill. And we're having such a hard time getting the charcoal to light because the grill is melted and broken. That Kevin, while we were not looking,

bought us a new grill and then it showed up on Wednesday. Yeah. And he's like, man, I didn't mean to offend you. I just figured you needed a new grill. I know about that commercial break. That's how you tell somebody that their food isn't good. You say, yes. A new piece of equipment.

Yeah. Hey man, I got you. How you could use this? I got you a hello of fresh subscription. Hey brother, I got you $300 a month in Uber Eats credits. Yeah. Why don't you use it next time I come over? I eat.

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We'll send you a 21 EPM sticker directly to your local. You can also go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited episodes the same day they air here on the audio fee. 855-TCB-8383 is where you go to drop us a text message, questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, we take them all at 1-855-TCB-8383. Add the commercial break on Instagram if you're into that kind of thing and TCB podcast on TikTok, it's what I hear the kids are doing, it's all the rage. One last thing, if you could, if you will, if you would. Visit our sponsor's websites, buy their products if you're in the market for them, and always

use our specialized URLs or codes, when in if you can. They pay our bills, and who knows? You may be the reason we have electricity in the studio tomorrow, and I thank you ahead of time for that kind gesture. Let's listen to those sponsors for a few minutes and then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break So my what is Jeff's favorite food? Oh, I mean, he has many. Yeah, but the thing that you cook that you think he likes the most.

I'm always switching it up. So there's this, there's not like one steady meal. Well, there, no, I mean, I do have a couple of different ones that I go from Italian to check in, say, burgers, I have a good salad that I do. I mean, I have a lot of different stuff.

And he loves it. And I, and I, I know I'm hungry now. And I catalog it. I got a new grill if you want to put it together. We can cook. And this is how I know when Jeff does it like something, he really doesn't say anything. Otherwise, he's totally into it.

You know, he's like, this is so delicious. Oh my God. Oh really? Oh good. So when he doesn't really say anything, I'm totally into it. You know, he's like, this is so delicious. Oh my God. Oh, really? So when he doesn't really say anything, I'm like, yeah. So his default position when he doesn't like something is he just doesn't say, I really like this. But when he really likes it, he says, I really like this. Oh, yeah.

And then do you know instinctively not to make that thing again? Of course. Yeah, so you don't make it again. So it's not like one thing that he just like, salivates over. He's like, oh man, can you cook this for us? Right now, it becomes different things, but right now I make this chicken, this crispy chicken.

Oh, crispy chicken. It's really good. That sounds good. Crispy chicken sounds good. It's really good. Do you find yourself getting less and less attracted to chicken as you get older? I do.

No. I find myself finding chicken. I mean, I used to really love to fuck a chicken and now I'm finding myself less... Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Less and less attractive to chicken. I ate a lot of red meat, it's not good for you.

So if you don't like chicken, then you're gonna red meat, otherwise you need to go vegan or seafood. I do eat some seafood, but you know, the couple times I've had... It's still fast. Chili, the couple times I've had, Chili, chili lime sea bass, which is the thing if you were to cook it correctly.

Chili lime sea bass sounds delicious. I like shrimp, I like some good shrimp. I like some shrimp. I like some shrimp. I like some scrimps. I like, what else do I like? Yeah, I like scrimps. I like cream and cereal and I like a lot of different.

I think I'm on sushi. You do, you make your own sushi? Yes. Isn't that really difficult to do? Yes. Yes. So I don't do it often, but it's really good. I worked at this restaurant called Aqua Blue. Remember Aqua Blue?

Oh, I do. Aqua Blue. Oh my God. Remember that? Yes. Remember I had a festival there one time? Were you there? Did you show up to the Aqua Blues Fest?

No, I do remember the place, though. Before I met you after your festival days. Oh yeah, well yeah, I guess this would have been afterwards, yeah. So Aqua Blues restaurant that I worked at, it was a lovely little restaurant. Not sure what the concept was, but it was like, it was just a really nice restaurant on the inside.

I love a blue. Yeah, I had a ton of blue. And big curtains hanging down and dark lights and soft music and the guys who ran the place were brilliant restaurant tours. But this restaurant always confused me even when I was the manager over there because they had a sushi bar

and then they were serving like, you know, popcorn chicken in the bar. So it was like a totally American slash sushi slash whatever they could find and so there was a lovely sushi chef fact or two sushi chefs and one guy's name was Ken and Ken was Vietnamese and Ken had found a system a system to beat the cash three lottery here in Georgia. I didn't expect you to say that.

No, so he had this notebook. Hunder is a pages. But I'm gonna say this, she's a system. No, but I'll get to that in a second. So, but I'm just gonna give you like a color commentary. What's he doing? So he says, and he had a really nice car

and then some extra things that you would go, oh, that guy's not, like, he's not the, even though he's the executive chef, he's not an executive chef, pay scale. This guy's working way above his pay scale. So the executive chef he's not an executive chef pay scale this guy's work in way above his pay scale so why he was working at his executive chef i really have no idea but he had his system drugs exactly that's what i thought i thought he was a bookie and just keeping

notes but he said no i'm doing the cash three and he had hundreds of lot of tickets every day he would he had hundreds and hundreds of pages of just these numbers and then he would be like drawing lines through them and connecting the dots and doing this whole thing He tried to teach me one time I recently about that this there are ways to beat the system There are there are patterns in the random right right and so I think you have to have a whole shit load of money to beat the system Yeah, yeah, because you have to be able to buy yes You do. Yeah, because you have to be able to buy a lot. Yes. So my interpretation was that it was either he had built up this amount of money

over a period of time or it was him and some kind of organization behind. I don't know. We know it kind of organization. Well, I'm not a making an assumption. I'm just saying that like, I think you have to be bankrolled pretty well. Even with the dollar cash three stuff, you got to buy like a thousand tickets a day with these kind of random patterns and then hope that one hits for $2,000. That covers the other one and gives you a profit. And there's a movie about this. It's been there's been people who have done this throughout time and then they get eventually the lottery tells them they can't do it because we can't you can't beat us. That's not fair. No, it's not fair that we can't beat you. You assholes.

That's why you don't play the lottery. Because the lottery is targeted to the people who can least afford it. And that's why I buy a lot of tickets. People coming out of places all the time and they are at a beat up car. They're scratching those tickets. How I lost my millions, isn't that a show on like TLC or how I lost the lottery or some shit? I don't know. I watched a few episodes of a show where on like TLC or how I lost the lottery or some shit I don't know

I watched a few episodes of a show where they showcased how miserable people are after they win the lottery That that's been definitely documented because people come out of the woodwork too You know, it's not normally like respectable people of upstanding society It's when the lottery and somebody who was maybe down on their luck Then then they have relatives that come out of the woodwork. I'm gonna get back to the sushi story because I'm interested to hear how you make sushi. Yeah, then they bake roll, that's right.

Then they have, then they get an organization, they put together, and now they're organized crime, because the lottery said several, right? Whatever, full shit. I told you this story, I think many episodes ago, but we worked at this chileys, me and this girl, that day, that my very first like a chiles job here locally in Georgia,

and we were working in the bar often, so the girl that I was dating was one of the, I call them bar girls, but I say that with all due respect. They were the ladies who were. The cocktail servers. The cocktail servers. But in the chiles, you served food there too,

but you know, everyone's been to a chiles. You see the bar area and there's bartenders and, you know, so there's bartenders at the bar. You know, it goes, everybody's been to a fucking chillies. I don't need to explain it to you. I think literally probably everybody in the world has been to a chillies. Of course you have at least in the United States. You've been to a chillies. You've not probably not recently, but you've been to a chillies I've been in years, but you've been. You can picture it. Oh, oh, my, do I ever react, do I ever react, do I ever react, ribs? You don't want to know how those things were made.

That's all I got to say. I used to love it. You don't want to know who was making your ribs. That's all I got to say. Number two. If you thought you could get ribs for 999 endless ribs at Chili's and Fucking Gordon Ramsay was cooking them. You got a different story coming all together The guy with one eyeball and a bad crystal meth problem

That was young I did love those rooms. Oh man. I treat to get a Chili's without my genre when I'm a genre. Yeah, me too. Hey, at one point, Chili's worth the thing. Yeah. You are. I thought, hey, that spicy kale, that spicy queso gives me diarrhea. Why not go work there? They were known for their margaritas. Oh, the margaritas, the shitteritas, the fucking extra sugar on top, I know. It's like a orange that came in like a big martini clav.

Anytime you get a drink that glows in the dark, it's probably not good for you. It's that true. Chili's baby back ribs and glow in the dark margaritas are back. All you can eat shittarita ribs and shittarita retas. Shittarita squirt. Your ass will glow in the dark. No need to turn on the light. It's like a neon algae bloom in your toilet. That blue man onion for extra firepower. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Cossacks. Cossacks. Cossacks. Cossacks. Gracie-ass, you'll be leaving Chilli saying, Gracie-ass, can I get a kids margarita?

Rochimbo. Get your cocaine, you're going to dark margaritas, you're endless. All you can eat, maybe back ribs, made by Bob. Yeah. Bob. Bob with one eye and a bad crystal meth problem and add an extra awesome blossom. So you can throw up when you jack. I'm happy because it's so true.

If you knew it when I was doing this, I swear to God. This plastic mini is like the list of all of the crappy trees. I have to say this. Like anytime you have a menu with more than 10 items spiral pal I know I Just was always a made there were 24 cooks. They were all in charge of seven different items Place with the spiral bound menu and a while. No, you haven't been to a cheesecake factory in a while There's another one. Yeah, God. Wee's they do have good cheesecake

so They're like, factory in a while. There's another one, geez. They do have good cheesecake though. What they do. So this couple used to come in and they started coming in one, they came in one time and they started coming in on a regular basis. They would be there like three times a week. I'll never forget them, never, ever in my entire life will I forget them. They were the most humblest people in the entire world. When they walked in, you would have said, those people are working class to the bone and they were.

And the husband owned a landscape business that he ran by himself. He was one of those guys in his late 40s, early 50s, who had a trailer on the back of his pickup truck with a riding willon board. That's the kind of landscape company he owned, but every time they came in and they sat in my ex girlfriend's section or anybody section They dropped or anybody section, but I noticed it because we made you know, we

Collectively would get a little extra bump. They would leave $100 bills as tips $100 bills as tips that is so nice And she would always pull it out of like a a bank envelope and she would like put the hundreds down and sometimes it'd be 200 and sometimes it'd be 100. You know what they do with landscaping companies a lot of times. They wander money. That's right. But what I found out. You get rid of it. So, yeah, of course you got to give it to Chili's. I'm gonna launder it through Chili's. I'm gonna buy 10 awesome blossoms. And then I wanna return them, that I need to receipt. You get that cash flow going through somewhere else.

I know, I wonder that Chili's was making. No wonder Brinker was making so much with Brinks or Brinker or whatever that company name was. The Armour Car service? Brinker was the name of the company that Brink's is the armor car, but Brinker owned a number of restaurants, including Outback's Day Cows,

and a couple of other places. So until about, Carabas. At day-owned Carabas, they did. That's right, how did you know that? Carabas. He used to work for Outback. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Carabas Outback Chili's. How does it taste? So these people one day, You were a girl back. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Carabas, outback, chillies. I was a little stressed. So these people one day, they, I think I told this story, they got into a head on collision. And in the middle of the night, our phone starts ringing, like literal phone on the wall starts ringing at like two in the morning,

the our phone, the me and my girlfriends. Pick up the phone, it's the lady. And she's in the morning. The R phone, the me and my girlfriends, pick up the phone, it's the lady. And she's at the hospital and she's like, Bob and I, I'm not used to their name, just in case. Bob and I were just in a head-on collision. We're at the hospital. We, I have both of us have broken legs,

we cannot drive ourselves. And we don't know anybody else in the area who can pick us up. We need to leave the hospital and I was like, what? And she's like, yeah, so I get dressed because of course, right? What are you going to do? You can't say no, you're another human being like someone's in pain. And this is before Uber and stuff too. All that stuff. So we go to the hospital, we pick them up, we go to the pharmacy, we pick up the pain medication that they need, and we drive them to their house. Their house is a provincial mansion that is not even finished. It's still being built. Chrissy, they had 10 bedrooms. They had four family

rooms. It was the place, they had a basement, the bigger than this house that I live in currently, which is not very big. But anyway, you get what I'm saying. So I couldn't believe it. We were like, floor, what the fuck? How do these people own this house? How is that possible? He's a landscaper. Mm-hmm. They won the lottery.

Oh. They won the lottery. And that night they told us, we won the lottery. We never tell anybody most of our family does not know. Yeah, you shouldn't. You don't have anybody. And they're like, we're just sharing this with you because you're obviously at this house

and you're probably wondering where we got all this funds from. And I was like, yeah, I was landscaping. I was about to get a, I was about to ask if I can start a franchise part of your landscaping business. Like I hate working outside and I don't like using my muscles for anything, but I would love to make this kind of money. Love it.

It just ride around. It just ride around in a lawn mower and make a million dollars a year, fuck yeah. So they won the lottery, not the big, big, big, big lottery, but they won 10, I think if I remember, it was 10 or 15 million dollars in the lottery, and they had invested, they had won it five years previous to meeting us, they had invested wisely, they had invest they had won it five years previous to meeting us

They had invested wisely. They had done whatever. He still worked. She still took on our jobs I would still work. Yeah, I would still work. I mean, I'd still come to here. Yeah. I mean, what's the difference? I'm not making any money now It was the difference. I'm not doing this for money. I have to have a purpose Yeah, if you call it personal, commercial break a purpose, sure, why not? It's my purpose. It's your purpose.

It's my purpose to do now. I don't know. I feel like I'm... I feel like if I can make one person have a little bit of a better day, then we do get those reviews. I love it. And I was having a shitty day

and you guys turned it around. You guys are so stupid. Yeah, you guys are so stupid that it made me laugh. I don't know, my favorite one is, I don't know why I like this show. Subber bad? Subber good? I saw you on the show.

I can't even know what they mean. Yeah, some I don't even understand. But I'm with it. I'm down with it. This is one lady. I think it was a lady. She said, I found you on the charts, decided to listen, had no idea what the show was about.

Still don't, but I'm listening. It's not about anything, that's the thing. You can enjoy, tune in. So, let's go all the way back to 15 minutes ago when I was talking about Canon, his lottery scheme. So, they had the sushi bar. And so, as a part of the manager training, I had to do stations, right?

I had to go and spend a week in the kitchen, spend a week here. Yeah. So I know what I know the fuck I'm talking about. What I'm all over the people are on the Hobart. The Hobart rubber mats. I need a Alexa, Alexa Pro or Alexa can. Alexa fan. What are they called? Hobart. Yeah, the Hobart mat and then you had the Alexa Pro or the Lexican or whatever it was. Alexa Pro is a drug. Yeah. Okay. So, I went in, I spent a week with the sushi kin and this other lady who was making the

sushi and Chrissy, for a week, I attempted to make a sushi roll. And for a week, I did not succeed at making a sushi roll. I was always really good at testing, especially if it's like memorization. I can figure that shit out. I failed that test every time that that lady gave it to me. It was just like an oral test. Like, hey, what's this kind of roll?

What's that kind of? I could not for the life of me get it straight. I was so confused. No, that's hard. Remember what all the rolls happen. So my question is, how do you make the role? Do you have like a sushi roll up thing? It's a whole process.

No, so yeah, you have to get the right rice. Yeah. Sticky rice? It will stick together. There's a whole process to making the rice with rice vinegar, different type of thing. So that keeps it, and then you have the nori, which is the seaweed, and it goes over it.

And then you're able to fill. So after, I'll just have to propose this by saying, after I made the sushi, my sister and I made it, and we were like, we did it, we made the sushi rolls, it's so great. We were like, that's so hard, I'm just gonna make sushi bowls now. We made sushi one time, then we had sushi bowls.

Oh my God, you guys cheated. You cheated. I was gonna get into cock worship today but then we went off on the food. Whatever. That's how much we care about our jobs kids. We plan it. Everybody should work at a restaurant. Everybody should work at a restaurant.

Honestly, everybody should work at a restaurant. Everybody should work at a restaurant. Just say. Honestly, everybody should work at a restaurant. For one year of your life, right out of high school, work at a restaurant. Get out of high school because there's a lot of bad influences. And I want you to be a little bit more mature. Don't start at 14 like I did where the fucking 38 year olds were taking me behind the McDonald's to smoke pot drink beer and talk about pussain. You can't handle it. You can't hit.

You're still at the age where you're scared of pussie Brian. I am 40 something years old and I'm still at the age where I'm scared of pussie. Okay, just share that. Paul was right. Paul was always right. Paul could not pass a driving test, but Paul was like the oracle.

You know the oracle? In the Matrix, he was like the oracle. He told you exactly what you needed to hear, exactly when you needed to hear. Yes, this guy was amazing. He was one of the most, like, I don't see the... It's big houses with them too. Yeah, I did.

I painted a house with them only. I wouldn't go up in the ladder, so he had to fire me. I was scared of heights. And pussy. So I ended up. Yeah, I did. I painted a house with them only. I wouldn't go up in the ladder so we had to fire me. I was scared of heights. And pussy. So I ended up, yeah, and pussy. Heights and pussy.

Ladders and pussy. That's what I was scared of. Still scared of ladders and pussy, by the way. Still don't understand how either of them work. Alright. Tcbpodgas.com. That's where you go. You find out more about Chrissy and I, the show notes,

the entire catalog, audio and video. It's all there, one location. But the best thing to do on our website is leave us your physical address and we'll send you a 21 EPM sticker or the next sticker which will announce sometime in July. Probably probably a what would Frankie do. What would Frankie do? Sticker, that's right. It's probably going to be what would Frankie do. What would Franky do, Sticker? That's right. It's probably gonna be what would Franky do. If you want either of those stickers right in, tell us which one you want. Give us your physical address, and we'll send it off to you.

855-TCB-83831-855-TCB-8383-Toll-Free from anywhere in the world. Comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, at the Commercial Break on Instagram, at TCB Podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com. Slash look, Commercial Break. I guess that's all I can do for today, Chrissy. I think so, Brian.

So, this is what I'll do. I'll say I love you. I love you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the Podcast universe. Until the next time, we waste your time talking about food. We always say we do say we must say good. Bye. For safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety, safety you