The Commercial Break - I Will Discipline You...
Episode Date: July 7, 2023Naughty, naughty boys! Bryan & Krissy return to a classic, Blind Date in 1999, and these men are gonna punish their date (not in a fun way)... A violent threesome The age of sexual exploration A tr...ue story of a threesome Bryan had with 2 models Vanna White Blind Date Go Cilla! Bryan sets the scene… An homage to Austin Powers Bryan makes an embarrassing assumption A Scouse, its a type of animal (a Liverpuddlian) You live and breathe clubs dont ya Dating Naked/Naked Attraction Extra sweets for being naughty ;) Bryan’s sourcing other options Fetishes! Chainmail vest Chest wigs Twink vibes She chose…him? A cuban vacay? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
People aren't gonna like this, but I don't think men should be paying for dinner on dates because it's not equal.
If I hook up with that dude that night, I could get pregnant and die.
So he should have to give me cash too.
TOO! TOO! TOO! TOO! TOO! TOO! TOO!
TOO! TOO! TOO! TOO!
TOO!
TOO!
On this episode of the commercial break.
I would discipline you by coming less than five seconds.
You've been a naughty, naughty nurse so you don't get an orgasm today.
Or most of our relationship.
I will punish you every time we make love, you will wish you were with someone else.
And I mean that very sincerely.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
The Hirepons! What the Hirepons?
Oh yes it does, Katz and Gittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.
This is my dear friend and gorgeous co-host, Kristen Joy-Hodley. That's the U-Krissing.
That's the right.
It bests you out there in the Bud-Gaz universe.
You know I'm reading about a story about a threesome that turned violent after the two
violence after the two girls who were in the threesome, two girls and a guy.
Started laughing at the size of the genitalia of the man inside of the threesome, and it
just reminded me of how right I am about this.
Guys, you think you want it? I'm going to talk into the young bucks out there. Mainly the young bucks
I'm gonna assume us older gentlemen have at least dabbled in the three-some area because I think it's a pretty common thing to happen
Yeah, I don't think it happens to everybody, but I think most guys
Will find themselves in a situation where two girls
Actually any human beings girls too. I find I think I find that girls and a girl and two guys situation where two girls, actually any human beings, girls too.
I think I find that,
I think girls and a girl and two guys,
guys and two girls, they, them,
they, them, she, he, it, whatever.
I think that's a pretty common thing.
It's the age of sexual exploration, right now.
It is the age of sexual exploration,
which means that I am just discovering my own body.
And I am now learning how to whack off with my left hand.
Because I was thinking to myself the other day,
I'm like, I've always been a righty.
Always a righty, right-handed guy, right-handed whacker,
right-handed golfer, right-handed batter.
And I thought to myself, what happens if I get,
because we do such dangerous work here
at the commercial break, what happens if I get
one of my appendages cut off in a serious accident
and then I have to learn how to whack with my left? You do it. I do it and then I just said
to myself, I better start learning now. So I'm not behind the eight balls. You could be
ambed deck stress with your whacking. I'm not behind the eight balls or the two balls,
as I would like to say. So I just, this is just reminds me of the few times that I've been involved in three
sums with two females and myself.
And every time I came out worse for the wear, it was fun for the first five minutes until
I blew my load and then there was no longer a need for me in the situation.
As a matter of fact, I've told this story a for me in the situation. Right.
As a matter of fact, I've told this story a few times
on the show.
They sent you.
They sent me out for beer.
They sent me out for beer.
Two models, this is a no shit story.
Verifiable backed up with, this is Brian.
No pictures, but.
No pictures, but it happened.
Back then they didn't have cameras.
I couldn't say take it a picture.
Receipts are didn't happen.
Back then you'd have to put a little stack of powder on one of those things and be like,
all right ladies, I'm going to set this aflame and then we have five to 12 minutes to
stand still while my shoulder opens and then it closes.
No wonder those people from earlier photos had like no smile.
Yeah, because they'd been standing there for so long and an explosion just happened.
Literally, they'd put a pile of gunpowder on top and go,
that was a flashback that kids a flash.
I go, we're working at the Olympics.
We're in this little Olympic village,
one of 375 that popped up around the Greater Atlanta area,
all of which thought that they were gonna be millionaires
based on hundreds of millions of people coming to Atlanta
and just opening their wallets.
I don't know what anybody was thinking.
I like the Super Bowl.
Yeah.
Most cities don't benefit from the Super Bowl.
They don't benefit from anything.
They get huge.
And the Olympics are the same. The Olympics are the exact same so here we are 30 miles from
any action with the Olympics any actual sports that are taking place were in the parking
lot like an alleyway they closed it down we got hired my friend and I got hired by
a company that was selling shirts that change colors when you put water on them.
Egg.
Wait, I was, you could do like, dip your hand in water and do like a hand print. Yes.
Or if you started to sweat, yeah.
It's like that.
That's just like the underarm.
Yeah.
Underarms.
It was called a chameleon shirt.
I'll never forget the name.
I can't make a million shirts.
Oh, we didn't sell one fucking t-shirt.
We got a lot of them for free, but we didn't sell any.
So in the middle of this was a huge tent, like a tent office thing that had been set up,
and it was elite models. The huge modeling agency out of New York. It's the time I don't know if it
was as big, but now it's huge. And elite models was there, and I don't know why they had a
tent set up in the middle of this parking lot lot but they were farming out the girls for this and that the other thing in guys too i'm
sure and two of the girls had been promised a hotel room but there were no hotel rooms anywhere
in the Atlanta area to be found because it all been you know rented out to corporations and stuff
like this so there so we met them at this at a bar inside of this alleyway and then
they tell us this sad sack story about how they had been fucked over on the hotel and they
didn't know they were going to sleep and blah, blah, blah. They were, I, at least I don't
remember it them pining for us to invite them back to the house because my friend and I were
living literally 62 miles from downtown Atlanta, It took us an hour and 15 minutes
to get into the city every day.
We were nowhere close to anywhere you'd wanna be in Atlanta.
And we lived in a very, very, like,
sparse area of a place called Woodstock, Georgia.
Oh my God, you were in Woodstock.
And we weren't even in Woodstock.
We were in Woodstock.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh my God.
In Woodstock now, you can go find a target in Walmart and a Chipotle,
but then forget about it, and then we were even further away from that forget about it.
We were like, forget, forget the fuck about it.
And we were living in this house with this awful woman,
and we lived in one room upstairs, like a bonus room.
And my friend and I had, it was a square room,
and we each had a bed on one opposite wall.
So it was the two of us living in this room.
Usually they are square.
Well, sometimes a rectangle.
Yeah, okay.
So this is a rectangle, isn't it?
That's a rectangle.
So anyway, so we're living on these two beds
and the guy that I was with didn't like the,
he had a girlfriend, he didn't like the fact
that I invited these didn't like the, he had a girlfriend, he didn't like the fact that I invited these two, but anyway.
I got involved in a three-some-one morning after the two girls had showered.
And I get involved in this three-some.
Oh my god.
And it didn't take me five minutes to just do it.
I was just done with it.
I had never been involved in a situation like this.
These girls were beautiful and it just happened.
And then when I finished, one of the girls said,
we could sure use a beer right about now.
And I was like, I think I might got one in the fridge.
And she was like, well, we'll all need one, right?
And I'm like, yeah.
And she's like, would you mind going down to the gas station?
Which was 12 and a half miles from where I live?
They probably thought, I'm gonna ransack this guy while he's out.
But there was nothing to ransack.
There was nothing to ransack.
What are you gonna take my DIG-TACE collection?
Oh, the valuable DIG-Tracies.
In other words, the moral of the story is,
you're not needed.
If there's three people in the equation,
doesn't matter who leaves the situation.
One of the girls, one of the guys, one of the,
you have to actively try and make sure everybody
is included.
Everybody has to actively make sure.
But all I was doing was trying to actively
not come all over myself,
for I took my underwear.
Ryan, that was funny.
Sometimes I remind myself.
So this story just reminds me of how miserable three sums can be.
It's like, we got violent with this story, like what happened?
They were making fun of the guy, the size of the guy's penis and he started hitting people.
Yeah.
And I mean, shame on you.
You should never hit a woman.
But also, you just should have listened to Brian's advice ahead of time and forgotten about it.
Someone offered you a three-some say, thanks. I'll pass. Go learn how to whack off with your left hand.
Uncle Brian said.
Uncle Brian's three-some advice.
Uncle Brian's three-some in boredom.
It just was, you know, poor poor guy and you shouldn't hit girls.
That's for sure.
But if you get involved in a threesome and then they're making fun of the size of your
junk, I don't understand hitting anybody, but I understand getting a little bit upset.
I can understand how that would threaten your man.
Right.
Yeah.
So he was arrested.
He'll go to, he's in jail, so don't worry about it, but
it just reminded you.
Just reminded me of the three, some drama.
You know what else reminded me of the three, some drama?
Blind date.
You remember how we used to do the blind date episode?
It's been a long time since we've done, I'd say a long time, it's probably a week
ago.
It seems like a long time.
Every episode.
It's been more than two weeks.
It's like three episodes, five days a week.
I know, God damn. I damn like hamsters on wheels right now
But we always do this you know we do you know what I've noticed our pattern is we like we see an upcoming
Opportunity to take a vacation or a couple days off and we just record the shit out of everything forever and ever
We put half of them in the can the other half
We never press record and then some end up and out there in the world
And then the rest of the year we just do this high wire act where like wow
We got an episode coming out of midnight. You want to come over at 7.45 p.m. and record?
It'll get everybody a plenty enough time to do it
So when you're doing 100 episodes a day, you don't really remember how long ago something
was, but I feel like it's been a long time since we visited our friends.
That's so nice.
Yeah, on ITV, I think it's ITV, or is it ITV?
Is it ITV?
Well, just when you went to London, there's 10 ITV channels.
There is, so it's ITV three or something.
Yeah, one of them.
On one of the BBC's or the ITV's,
there is an institutional dating show that's been on for a long time and I think it's still on with
a new host. But the host back in the 90s, 90s and 2000s was Celia Black, who is a kind of a,
I'd say like a Pat Sejack type of guy, but with much more personnel.
I just read that he's that. He's retiring.
He is retiring.
Yeah.
Which is surprising to me.
For over 40 years.
What about Vanny?
You think she's going to go with him?
That didn't say anything about her.
She seemed like a dead Vanna white, unbelievable.
Her life story is great.
What a career.
Yeah.
What is her life story?
I've seen it before.
I saw it a long time ago, but it seemed very interesting.
She came to California to, I guess, do, you know, acting, modeling, something
like that.
She ended up with this show and has just stayed with it forever.
And I remember when I was young too, they're always the tabloids, you know, when you're checking
out of the grocery, it used to always be something about like Vanna, you know, look at her doing
this, look at her doing that.
I don't think tabloids are like they used to be.
Because now you just read everything on your phone.
Yeah, well nothing's like it used to be.
It's all publishing.
And I was just just reading this and I don't want to get too far off the beaten track.
We can do a show about this.
I talked about this probably about a month ago now in commercial break time.
I talked about a month ago about how I felt like the streaming TV thing was like a bad
idea from the get, but now recompense is happening and people are losing their jobs
all over the place and the streaming model is falling apart because it was never going
to work in the first place.
You can't just make endless amounts of billion dollar television shows when there's no
revenue tied to those television shows.
The only revenue is tied to subscribers and you're not raising prices fast enough for
getting subscribers fast enough to make it all make sense.
So that's besides the point, but I feel like everything publishing wise has turned into
a shit show, podcasting being one of the few mediums that's actually doing okay in all of this.
But it's the new radio, really?
Yeah, it's the new radio and there's not a lot.
Like dollar-wise, it's a tiny little slice of the pie,
tiny, tiny little slice of the pie for advertising dollars.
But I digress.
The reality is that, I don't know,
because you talked about tabloids
and you don't think tabloids are there.
Tabloids, they used to be something you would read while you were standing in line waiting
to check out at the grocery store.
And they would be shocking.
Shocking.
But now nothing's shocking because the second that it happens, you know about it from Facebook
and Instagram and TikTok and you know, the never-ending news coverage.
Yeah.
So Vanna was and maybe is in some circles such a huge deal in the 80s and 90s.
She was all over every cover of every magazine.
And she's just all she does is go and touch those letters.
I'm saying it all she does, but what she does mainly on that show is go and touch the letters
on wheel before she turns the letters.
Just unbelievable.
Did she was she a playboy playmate ever?
Did she do that?
I don't think she did.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either.
I don't think so either. I don't think so either. I don't think same version we have here, but it's fun. It's a fun game. Yeah, it's a fun game.
It's easy to play.
You know, you could be a real dumb.
RSTLNE.
E.
Yeah, you could be a real dumb dumb and still figure out how to play wheel of fortune.
And they do have some dumb dumbs on there.
I was watching like best wheel of fortune fails a year ago or whatever.
And it was funny.
So I say all this to say that Celia Black was a Pat Sejek like
personality. She's well-known. She's been doing game shows forever and ever and
ever. And one of the game shows she's most, uh, I guess famous for infamous for is
this blind date. A blind date we've reviewed a number of times on the show. Let me
give you the premise.
One girl, it seems like mainly.
They mainly, I do, I know they do guys also,
but it seems like they mainly do girls.
Sits behind a curtain or a stage,
comes out looking beautiful,
and then there's three dumb-dums on the other side.
Yes, that has been the premise.
Yeah, three real shith shit heads on the other side.
And Celia makes fun of them for a few minutes.
The lady comes out.
It's much like our dating game back in the 70s used to be,
which is you have a chance to ask questions
of these three eligible bachelors
and then based on their answers, you pick the winner.
Here's the real strange part about blind date.
That's what, that's what, that's what, that's what, that's what.
Yeah, this particular one.
Two strange things about this.
Number one, they used to ask three questions
and toward the end, now they're only asking two.
So you've got to pick a date based on two questions
that are clearly pre-picked
and then pre-answered by the producers.
Those answers are just too polished to be off the cuff.
Number one, number two, what you get for winning
is a week long vacation with a complete stranger.
Sounds like hell.
It doesn't sound like a gift.
It's so crazy.
Yeah, they're always going to some far-flung location.
The Mel Dives, my orca, my orca.
Yeah, I think it should just be like a straight up,
like a nice, a very nice dinner out.
I agree with you, 100%.
And not a whole week back.
Well, in the person.
In 2023.
You haven't even seen the person.
No, you can't see them.
No, and then you're stuck with them.
For a week while the cameras follow you around
and then you got to come to report back
on what a shit had they really were.
Number one, number two in 2023,
it wouldn't even be a vacation at all or dinner at all.
It'd be like, give me your LinkedIn, and I'll get next with you later.
E-I-G.
Yeah, give me your IG.
Not your real IG, you're fake IG.
Ben's da.
Yeah, you're fake E-G.
Fake E-G.
G-Z-B.
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Alright, so without further ado, I was trolling on the internet.
As you do.
As I do like to do, came up upon a blind date I thought it was a good time to revisit seal your black and the British television show
Blind date, okay, here it is. Let's see if we can have some fun with this one. I do love this show. I really do
Oh, you know what I keep on doing I keep on forgetting to hit mute yeah go see yeah go see go see
yeah I mean she comes out to just a royal crowd people love her people love
her and I got to say about seeia. Her personality is a ward fucking winning.
A ward fucking winning.
I would go have dinner with this girl, this lady,
three nights a week, I think I would never get bored.
She is highly fascinating and entertaining.
And I've seen her in other things besides blind date.
But to me at least, she's not like
the most beautiful woman in the world,
but her personality is so attractive.
It's magnetic. You're right about this,
this is one of those people that defies odds.
She is like, she's hot,
simply because of her person,
only because of her personality, my opinion.
And by the way, she's like 69 years old, in 1992.
So. 1992
Thank you. Hello. I'm welcome to blind date now on tonight show we'll be seeing our Sam and Nadine
Enjoy the other side of life and belting black pool
That's where you got to go to black pool black pool
It's like a beach-tounded I think belting black pool. It bel to black pool? Black pool. It's like a beach town and I think. Bellening, black pool.
Bellening, black pool.
Okay.
Yeah.
Anytime you get sent to the same country as a win,
as a prize going to the same country
doesn't really seem like a prize.
If someone went,
you're going to the sunny coast of Savannah, Georgia.
I'd be like the sunny coast of Savannah, Georgia!
I've been to Savannah, Georgia!
And I don't go back because it's not the sunny coast of Savannah, Georgia!
Yes! I will be exploring with Antonia and Steve on their day
to a massive Dennis Island in the Indian Ocean!
Oh, Dennis Island! Who know they name an island after Dennis? Yes.
Oh my god.
First we've got three really tasty guys all looking
for the dish of the day.
So let's say hi to the boys.
Good night.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, it's one of these.
One of these ass hats is dressed up as Austin Powers.
You got to be kidding me.
You think people in England really hated that Austin power movie?
Maybe.
Probably.
Yeah.
Okay, let's set the scene left to right.
You've got a balding, what I would probably assume is indian man and i mean from india or
of indian dissent
uh... in the middle you've got a guy wearing a shirt sleepless who cut the
sleeves out
who who who who and then all the way to the right
you have what most certainly is an homage to austin powers
uh... get my man
dressed up in the full sevents leisure suit with ruffled tuxedo shirt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I can't wait to get to you number three.
Let's start with number one.
Hello number one.
What's your name and where do you call it, bro?
Hi, I'm Zanfini and I'm from Perth in Australia.
Hello!
Oh, so I'm completely wrong,
and that's why I should probably never make assumptions
about where someone is from.
He's from Australia.
I think he's just really tan.
He's just a really tan Australian guy.
Great xenophobia here on the commercial break.
I think I think that's what.
Now Anthony you did say purf, didn't you?
I did.
Gosh, did you know?
Little information, did you know that are more scousers living in purf?
From the rest of Australia, did you know that? Well scousers living in Perth than the rest of Australia?
Did you know that?
Well, wouldn't surprise me, Silla.
Or scousers?
A scousers.
Yeah, I think it's a type of animal.
A bit.
You sure?
No.
I have no idea.
It came over here.
It is capable.
I don't mean naughty naughty.
What do you do for a living?
My myself is rep here for a medical company.
Right, but you didn't do that in Australia, did you?
No, I didn't.
I did some fashion modeling for three years back home.
Did you?
Yeah, handsome looking bloke.
Probably when he had hair.
You know I can hook you up with Frankie B there.
If you want me to, hair transplant.
Yeah.
I just did that one.
What type of modeling was it Anthony?
Everything from catwalk to...
No.
Everything from catwalk.
Everything from catwalk to penis modeling.
What's the photo photographic?
Yes, it is.
I mean, was there anything that you were asked to do that you wouldn't do?
There's nothing I wouldn't do, Silla, and believe it.
What you're done then?
We'll get after all the thoughts of things when we're sort of modeling back home to get the work, of course.
I've dyed my hair blonde, I've had to grow a goatee that I've been handed a razor two minutes before going on the catwalk
and try to create that fur free zone for the crew.
Oh, I said you should.
So what also gave me a syringe for the dick medicine
and asked me to get it on real quick.
We, yeah, I had to. Did it grow back?
It has, it has. Oh, yeah, it's off way up your neck.
LAUGHTER
It's a physical fact with a vengeance.
Don't we know that girl?
Yes, that was a shave. We know that.
But let's hope you don't have too much of a close shave
with our picket tonight.
Enjoy blind date and for new ladies and gentlemen.
What a weird thing that must be to be sitting up on that stage.
I'm the little sweetheart in the middle.
I know number two what you name and where do you come from.
I still have my name's Mark and I'm from Showsbury. I'm from Shrush, sorry. It's a bold new Shrush. It's a bold move to where I sleep with a shirt. It's a bold move to...
And not have like serious guns, I think.
I don't know.
Yeah, I think when you have serious guns that he adds even more of a layer of complexity,
like...
You're just...
Yeah, you're screaming, douche.
Yeah, they're too tight.
They're too tight.
They're too tight.
They're too tight.
They're too tight.
They're too tight.
They're too tight.
They're too tight. They're too tight. They're too tight. They're too tight. They're too tight. that he adds even more of a layer of complexity. Like, you're just, yeah, you're screaming douche.
Yeah, they're too tight, they're breaking.
It's a tight.
It's a good.
Speaking of breaking, I just broke the studio.
I know.
Oh, Lord.
I'll fix it.
I'll fix it.
Don't worry.
Oh, what's this?
Yeah.
The commercial break will be right back. Fix it. Don't worry. Oh, what's this?
The commercial break will be right back. No, that wasn't golden girls. It was a commercial for something called the bullet
I'm working on beef for the moment for the biggest club. Are you working on Ibiza? So you live and breathe clubs, don't you?
Even when you're in the room, anywhere in the world, you go breathe clubs, don't you?
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, yeah, I do.
I sit outside the clubs. I don't really work there, but I sit outside with my sleeveless shirt.
And I say, do you have a ticket to get in? Can I borrow one?
I think maybe my life would maybe need to make a change if I heard somebody say Chrissy she lives in breeds for clothes.
Chrissy's living in Breeden Clubs.
Ashtard and I had a chance to like we were planning a little vacation, you know, and we
could go to here or there or Ibiza.
Like Ibiza.
Ibiza was one of the choices and I was like, don't know I think I've kind of out of the eating
Exdacy and drinking orange juice at 12 in the afternoon phase of my life
I don't know if I need to go to a foam party with all the other 20 year olds coming from the UK. Yeah
Exclusive clubs. I mean when you're you know, it allowed in well
We've got a little bit of a scam to keep getting us into some of the clubs, especially
when the expensive ones. When you get in, we pretend we work for a national newspaper
for a journal. And then we hand them a bunch of cocaine and then they let us in.
You get so. A journalist. A journalist. A liaison. I'm a song for your local exclusive club and a journalist and a drug dealer and a homeless man with a sleepless shirt.
For the club being seen part of it, we give it the black on the door.
It comes up to us, we start giving it the VIP treatment, giving it the champagne, trying to get a good report from the magazine that we're paying for tonight.
And then basically they give us our phone members and we can get down there any time normally.
Good scam, you can never go back to that club again.
Yeah, you can never, ever go back to that club again.
And what happens if someone asks you, when's that story running?
Give me your card so I can check in with your editor on one that story is gonna run
Sometimes it doesn't sounds like a journalist doesn't
Let's hope our pig is holding the front page for you tonight and joy blind a number two
Oh, he seems so timid and shy this does not seem like the right forum for him, but he's a club door. Yeah, he's a club guard
not seem like the right forum for him. But he's a club goer.
Yeah, he's a club goer.
I've seen this guy at the club.
I know what he's up to.
Standing back with sunglasses in the middle of the day.
So he can stare at girls' tits without them seeing.
I see these guys.
I know what they're up to.
Yeah.
Well, hello, baby!
We're now talking to the Austin Powers guy.
Yes, you're number three.
And what you name and where do you come from?
Hello, my name is Jason.
I'm from Sahampton.
Oh, Jason.
I'm Sahampton.
What do you have there?
What do you come at tonight?
Is it we didn't all know? Well, tonight, today, I'm the international man of mystery, Austin Danger powers.
Yeah. And you didn't even have to walk through a prophecy.
I just wonder when Johnny's going to take off the Austin Powers costume.
It's been three years since the last Austin Powers came out.
He still thinks it's getting him pussy, but it's actually not getting him pussy. It's getting him kicked out of a lot of exclusive clubs in Ibiza.
Oh did you, Jenny?
It's not your her and I love it. I knew what I liked about you underneath, I'd be
got underneath all that. Spit your colours. I was like, oh, you're a ginger. I would you like to know if the carpet match the drips, baby, come on, seal your give it
to me, show me a little badge. Show your badge. Show your badge If I
Don't think they're changing If if love connection was on today, you know those girls go crazy. Yes, it'd be like show your pussy
Right cuz they were excited for a knee yeah for a knee. That's right. Oh, no, I saw a bit of her knee
I have to go to church!
Watch the scene away!
I'm not pregnant.
Austin, well Austin Powers, do you like Austin Powers type of girlfriends?
Absolutely.
I'm a mocky looking person.
Very cosmic, very futuristic, very Liz Hurley and a space suit or Barbara.
Oh really?
Well I've got a promise you a fab gear far out Cosmic Bay,
but I promise you a good time.
All of you a good time tonight.
Enjoy blind date all three of you.
I shall see you all in a minute.
Because on blind date, new rules,
everyone has a for some in the middle of the stage.
First one to blow a nut loses.
That was like the other chef.
What if we watched over the drop of people
through the floor?
Oh, like dating trap.
The dating trap where people just went through the floor.
You blow a nut and you're gone.
I love it.
I love it.
Fasiilita. The Facilita.
The Facilita.
Do you remember on VH1, there was a short live show called Dating Naked?
Do you remember that? It was like two seasons and it was all blurred out, right?
But on in the UK, in Ireland, I saw this show, three nights in a row. It was a show called
Dating Naked. And what it was is one woman or man. And then the they they were behind screens.
They were lit up. So you could see the silhouette of them. And then the woman, let's assume it was
a woman. Let's assume it was a man. They were's assume it was a man. They were a nipples, they were erect.
Yeah. Or okay.
Yeah, well, they were mainly standing forward,
so all you can see was their silhouette, all right?
But here's the premise.
Let's assume it's a man and three women,
or actually I think it was four or five women,
and they were all behind silhouettes.
Man would come out, no audience, man would come out.
Naked.
Closed.
And he would start asking, the host will start asking questions.
So tell me a little bit about this,
tell me a little bit about that,
tell me about yourself.
He'd ask a couple questions of the ladies
that were behind the silhouettes,
and then they would pull up the silhouette
a little bit to their knees.
And then he would say,
what do you think about their feet?
I like big feet, I like small feet,
she's got her nails painted, whatever.
Then they would pull it up to her vagina
and they would close up on the vagina, the naked vagina.
And they would say, oh, I like when the lips are,
you know, I like when they have big vulva,
you know, or big outer lips or big inner lips
or small inner lips or whatever it is,
they would do this all the way up the body.
And then at the end, the guy would get naked
and all the girls would
say their things.
This is crazy.
It was insane, but it's an extraordinarily popular show.
So much show that we've had a few, more than a few people out in our listening audience
ask me if I've ever seen the show.
Okay.
And as a matter of fact, yes, I have.
I took my phone and I recorded it when I was in Ireland and now
I'm practicing my 21 EPM left-handed style with dating naked.
Well three wheel stars there but every star needs a leading lady and here she is, her name
Sarah and she's from Barnesley so come in, Sarah! Sarah Oh my god
Oh my god
Every time every time it's a my hot hot hot ass chick
Yeah with a toned ass body and beautiful boobs and lovely boom
You do it better and better now this woman is wearing a bra, silver bra.
Silver bra, and that's it.
And a little like fur, like a half fur coat.
Yeah, and jeans.
And jeans.
And she is 18 and perfect.
Yeah.
She's probably not 18.
I'm just saying that out loud.
Yeah, they really do get these girls are just like every show that we review it seems like they're hotter and hotter and they were pretty hot in the first. It is. Right, it's wonderful.
Just, you know, just, oh, look at this.
I mean, you even got the padlock there.
And I've got the key.
Oh, the key round and there.
Oh, she's got a padlock on her badge.
Yeah, it goes down.
I'm in your own outfit.
And putting all your outfits together.
Did you put this outfit together tonight?
I didn't make it, but yes, I put it all together.
All right.
Well, it works, doesn't it, Les?
I didn't make it a pick it out, but I did put it all on all by myself.
Except for the brawn pants, I had a little help with that.
Because you aren't...
Well, it does, brother.
Maybe a umbrella, look, I think.
Open to the bar, the umbrella.
Oh!
Oh!
Seems a little pain-playing.
Yeah, it seems a little pre-planned, exactly.
O.B.
Hey!
You were the star to get in the here because tell everybody what you do.
In the evening I'm a podium dancer and in the daytime I'm a nursery nurse.
Oh, a day time, nursery nurse and the night of podium.
I know, I've had five to seven children and I don't know.
Makes me think about all those nurses and the nurses in a different way.
But hey, you know, gotta make a living.
Yeah.
It's a frenic.
Why is it just when I...
What age, what age group?
And the children I'm looking after at the moment they are four,
I'm there to cover cats.
I'm not looking at a cat.
I say a little cover cat.
Cover cat.
Hello. Hello, cover cats.. Hello, Claire the cat.
Hello, Claire the cat.
Teacher Doreen is a piss showing her tap-tongues.
For your parents for what?
The four-year-old are like...
That's Miss Doreen.
I got my first phone!
Miss Doreen.
Yeah, let me know there and I'm looking for your...
Watching TV.
Are your PJs watching the TV?
Did you teach before with Clevver Cat?
We can't miss any of the man who knows
I used to teach the DP decks.
Oh, Tiffy Ducks!
You said Tiffy Ducks!
Well, we've got three little chocky eggs over there, the obvious quiz.
Alright, now I hope you've got really three super questions to ask them to have a silly. I will wait for the first two. Yeah, I...
We're only letting you ask one, but I hope you have three. Just in case, we need to make
sure time. On server, right? Hello, my three sex triplets behind there.
She called them sex triplets.
She got them sex triplets. Right, this is the first question.
I work as a nurse who knows and when the children in Mac have misbehaving, I discipline them
by not giving them any sweet.
Ah, naughty, naughty.
No.
If I was in a naughty girl, how would you discipline me?
Oh, I would discipline you by coming less than five seconds.
You've been a naughty, naughty nurse so you don't get an orgasm today or most of our relationship.
Yeah, I will punish you every time we make love,
you will wish you were with someone else.
And I mean that very sincerely.
Who on please?
Well, having been born and bred in Australia,
I quite like naughty girls.
So if you're
naughty with me, I'll be rewarding you with extra sweets.
He has to hand some dude. You think so? Yeah. I think he's good for me.
I'm just trying to source out other options. You know, after it's closed to leaving me, so I'm just, so I'm just sourced out other options.
Number two please.
Well I'm working out in IB for at the moment and naughty girls out there don't need discipline
they need encouraging.
So come out with me and let's get really naughty together.
That was a good answer.
It was.
And number three, please.
Oh, behave, Sarah.
We've only heard that a million times since the movie.
Dumb.
Being an international man of mystery, I think we could actually do things together.
Just like eating cream cakes.
You could be naughty baby and I could be nice.
Yeah. Yeah, he blew that.
Yeah, Tony Creme case.
He blew it the second he showed up in the Austin Powers outfit.
Austin Powers outfits were old.
The year that the movie came out after that Halloween, it was a summer blockbuster, after
Halloween, it was done. We should have all left it alone. The key to comedy is timing.
And if you don't get the timing right, you're wrong. Look at the commercial break. We're
20 years too late for this type of comedy. We're still out here fucking alone. Question 2.
I have a fetish for fake fur.
I might say that my wardrobe is like London zoo.
What fetish have you got and why?
2 please.
Oh fuck you are this.
I can't wait. It's a girl Sarah. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. You can't wait.
To you girls, Eric.
Oh, I'm so fucking.
My fetish is for metal.
And my favorite outfit is a chain male vest.
Now, I get dancing.
I get all hot and sweaty.
And it's going a bit rusty now.
So, I'll just...
Well, no wonder you're hot and sweaty.
You're wearing a chain male vest to a club in a bea-tha.
I didn't think you could say that. That chain mail vest to a club in Adita.
I didn't think he was good-sitch.
That chain mail vest, it's doing your dress enough
like the nights of the round table to go to a foam party in a visa.
What are you doing?
Oh man, it's wild out there.
And see falling it up for me.
There we go.
Maybe we could clutch together. And then the three please. Yeah baby, yeah. You she has a fetish for fake fur and he opened up his shirt and he's got a fake chest wig on.
This is just so chest wig. This is just so predictable and boring this guy. Yeah, I thought there was maybe gonna be some kind of substance underneath.
Yeah, I thought maybe he's flying strictly.
No, I'll ask him.
He's just, he has no personality.
So he decided to borrow Austin borrowers.
Yeah.
He spent the last 10, 10 weeks watching Austin
powers back to back to make sure he gets the
affectation down and he's not even getting that great.
He's British and he doesn't even sound British.
Mike Myers sounds more British than this guy does.
And he's from Walding's furter, whatever.
I never won, please.
Well, Sarah, when I was modeling back home, I developed a
fetish for high heel black strappy shoes
I had a drop that he was a model but okay
Well back when I was in digital media... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm not going to have to advertise in sales.
Back when I was in the advertising business.
I wasn't so successful.
But if I was a former male model, I'd be like,
back when I was a former male model.
Exactly. Yeah, I should throw it in there. Back when I was a male model for Wendy's Oh Exactly
Yeah, I should throw it out there back when I was a male model for Wendy's double bubble shit burger
I have bright green for Wendy, excuse me
This new breakfast chili bacon burger is delicious
Excuse me. He did too good modeling.
Nothing says breakfast like a two patties, all beef, chili, loaded baked potato, bacon,
a cheese fries.
It's time for morning rites.
It's time for morning rites with Tabasco cheese fries from Wendy's
You'll make sure those morning meetings are short
When you offend everybody in the room with your
Texas feet loaded big potato extra chili
Texas Pete loaded big potato extra chili
With extra to basco Oh, but no, let's you want some loaded big potato skins?
Due to unfortunate circumstances with the air quality in this office right now,
we're gonna have to call this meeting.
We're gonna have to reschedule this meeting for a different time.
That's back in my digital advertising days.
How do you know what the LG is alive? I think this. Oh, you built the Aussies a life.
That's it.
Cowboy Joe's.
I believe that keeping fit is an essential part of life.
And I hate to see men with beer bellies and builders.
Boom!
Which part of your body do you like revealing the most?
Builders, bums.
I'm assuming she means butt crack like plumber crack.
Baby, yeah.
To, um, Austin Powers number three, baby.
Well, I don't drink beer, so I don't have a belly.
And building is not my bag, baby.
So I'd rather just reveal my smile.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's gonna pick him. You know she's gonna pick him.
I mean, because it was all set up by the producers from the beginning.
Because she's got the look going on that matches with what he said.
He's wanted. Of course. But his hands are terrible.
Terrible.
And number two, please.
Like you said, I also enjoy working out in the gym regularly too.
Although most girls say it's my eyes and my teeth are the best part,
but I think it's my chest.
I think.
It's hairy.
Not hairy at all.
Oh!
We should get together and compact.
Weird.
It looks like a 10-year-old boy.
I know that's what I was thinking too.
He's a... What do you call him a twink?
He's a twink.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do have a fetish for further, remember?
I remember.
I remember one please.
Well I too like going to the German keeping fit and lean, Sarah.
But to choose one body part to show you would be depriving.
My dick.
How about it?
My dick.
My big Australian kangaroo.
Why don't I stick this baby kangaroo in your pouch
and we'll see what comes up.
Some people like in my cocktail, a little baby kangaroo leg. Why don't I stick
it in your pouch? If you could keep it warm.
Well, it will be a whole for you. Well, Neil, you all, and I'll let you make the choice. What? He said that showing you just one part of my body
would deprive you of the rest of my body.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
There's no good choice on stage right now.
Just say my dick.
Just say my dick.
My dick.
My dick.
I'm just gonna answer all questions like that.
I like going and walks in the park.
Where would you take me?
My dick.
My dick.
Yeah, I can go with anything.
Yeah, I can go with anything, really.
What's your fetish, my dick?
I'm gonna go for a second. I'm gonna go for a second.
Take your order.
My dick.
Okay, please follow me to the first window.
Okay, please follow him to the first window. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Well that's it sir. We asked all your three questions that it's going to be difficult to tell.
Yeah we actually got through them.
Disney sorry.
Do you need a little bit of help?
Graham.
Oh Graham.
Well Sarah, will it be number one, the model male who promises to treat you well and wouldn't
give you the boot. There will be Tinney number two, the blue eyed boy who is just dying to be picked by you.
All powerful number three who will behave like a gentleman,
let me take you to the zoo, zoo, zoo.
Where is the...
Yaw!
Or is it?
Yeah.
I wonder where it numbers.
The decision is ours. I know know the decision has already been made
We're gonna go for
One two all three
Oh three number two My dick
That's the least
Compatible one is number two. Yeah, he doesn't even have a personality or a real job
Yeah, he's scamming people around I I know he's scamming people to get into clubs
What is that is that not a job? That's a grift
You don't know the two that you turn down you turn down how would you?
Austin powers look alike number three that was Jason from Southampton, come in Jason.
Thank you.
Wow, this guy has fully committed to the Austin Power thing.
Yeah, that's all he's going strictly.
Yeah, Daniel D Lewis, number three on season 43, episode 16 of Blind Date.
He's been to Stella at the acting school.
Stella!
Oh my god.
Wow. I can't believe she picked another kid.
That's what you know, I was going to be.
No, I was quite like the obese of thing on number two.
Oh, I'm the pokey.
Oh, I was seeing the pokey.
Oh, be hey.
Oh, I'm thinking.
But what about number one, because at the drop of a hat,
he'll get off on a podium dance dance stage and he'll do it himself
And he's got a furry furry chits. I'm taking a furry hurried chit. Yes, he is gone now
You turn down number one that was Anthony from Austin. Yeah, he's gone now
We're dropping him through the floor with the rest of the dead men down there
Elia come in Anthony. Oh, I'm excited for you.
I'm going to have to leave.
Woo!
Oh, poor Anthony.
I like some kind of stadiums.
But here is your blind date for this evening.
You choose. Number two, that was Mark from
Shrewsbury, come in Mark.
You two are going to be tough.
Well, yeah, you two are going home! Shrewsberry!
Where are they going?
Let's see.
That is a chain.
What is a chain?
Yeah?
Just yeah?
The first impressions for you, sweetheart, chain metal.
And the metal, yeah.
We're going on your blind date. You see Tom, chain nail metal. And be metal, yes.
I'm getting on your blind date.
Who's gonna choose?
Let her choose.
Let her choose.
And then she's gonna choose.
Thanks.
Who dressed him, by the way?
I don't know.
What is this?
A sleeveless t-shirt with like silk-
Leigh weird pants.
Leigh weird pants.
So pants.
And two, the same color tone.
Yeah.
So, he looks like one big, I don't know.
Cheese, Tastic Man. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to Cuba. Cuba. Cuba? Is Cuba a place where you go on vacation? Cuba? How else could you have in
this show? They go to Cuba. Oh my god. You know the place has been set on the rest of the world for 70 years. The place without electricity, food or water, Cuba!
Oh, you'll be caught in the Communist Party trap of Cuba!
To Anon the Beach where millions of people die of starvation, Cuba!
Unbelievable. millions of people die of starvation Cuba! Unbelievable! You'll be in the middle of the Cuban Missile Crisis in Cuba!
You ever heard of Bay of Pigs?
It used to be dangerous!
Now it's your vacation!
We don't know know but you're going
Never trust the threesome that's what I tell you they always get you in the end
All right DCB podcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more about Chrissy and I read all the show notes the entire catalog audio and video there One location DCB podcast.com See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time.
See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. See you next time. I thought the brits were on our side.
They've been sending people on vacation there the whole time.
Who knew?
Can we go to Cuba now?
Please, pretty please.
Alright, youtube.com slash the commercial break fully edited episodes.
The same day they air here on the audio feed at the commercial break on Instagram.
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And please do us a favor, text us 1-855-TCB8383.
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We take them all at 855-TCB383 and seriously get your 21EPM sticker.
Go to the website, hit the contact us button, send us your address, we'll send you a sticker.
If it's not 21EPM it'll be something else, we'll let you know over the next couple of weeks.
Okay, I mean now I gotta go hunt down the video where they come back.
Alright, that's all I can do today, Chrissy.
I love you.
I love you.
Best see you.
And best see you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say goodbye. I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more
I'm gonna be a little bit more I'm gonna be a little bit more You