The Commercial Break - Let's Get FERAL

Episode Date: September 11, 2024

Episode #598: Zack Bauer (not to be confused with Jack Bauer) is back, and he’s ready to teach you how to date! more! hotties! through the magic of being FERAL. A 33P rivalry! Date more hotties Bryan’s too soft Gotta get those ladies to bounce Zack Bauer He does NOT want to open her… Rodney ;) Robot PUAs Skibidi We MUST see the in field footage Wanna bounce? Call Zack You like jorts? Bait them How To Be FERAL QUANTUM PHYSICS Start a fight with a girl! Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Other planets have fall equinoxes. How do they celebrate on the equini? On Uranus they go nuts. They... On this episode of the Commercial Break... We have a technique we call conversation. We have a technique we call talking. Now, get out your notepads.

That's a true method. I'm about to blow your mind. By opening your mouth and making different vocal tones with your tongue and your throat, using your lips to support the vowels, you too can get laid this is complicated I know technique the next episode of the commercial break starts now welcome back to the commercial break I'm Brian Green this this is the Evan and my Dando, Chris and Joy Holey, best to you, Chris and best to you out there in the podcast universe. Evan Dando and the Dando's.

Evan and the Dando's. So anyway, when I was in that band, I was, Chris and I were just talking about the Lemonheads. You'll hear this in an upcoming episode why we were doing that. But we were talking about the Lemonheads and I was saying that the lead singer of that band, his name is Evan Dando. And so when I was in 33P, there was another high school band, a rivalry going on if you don't mind. And they were called Evan and the Dando's. And I was like, that's such a better name than 33P. Why didn't I think of Evan and the Dando's? But now I realize that neither of us had a shot. It didn't matter. We could have been called, I don't know, Led Zeppelin

for all I care. It would have never happened. Anyway, thanks for joining us here on the show. Chrissy and I, in preparation for our big live shows at the end of the month, we may be recording these a little bit ahead of time. So we're leaning on a little bit of content that won't go stale by the time we actually, you actually hear it. So in no hot topics, no hot topics. We're keeping, we're staying off the hot topics because the way that news flies these days, even when we recorded the day before it's already old. The next day, I always get so nervous when we talk about something on the news that day, because I know that by the next day, it's not

even going to be worthwhile. It's just not. Um, so, but we have a good one for you because here's the thing. Last Friday, Chrissy and I, for the first time probably in the history, maybe not in the history of the commercial break, but in a long time, talked about Donald Trump. And we were talking about his new digital trading cards. It's good for the kids. It's good for the family. Bitcoin! Bitcoin! Why does he separate those two words? I don't know.

It's called Bitcoin, not Bitcoin! And we were talking about digital trading cards and his new pitch to buy these digital trading cards and for free pairs of Snooki's. Which by the way, we wanted to reiterate that we would be making fun of anybody doing these digital trading cards. Oh yeah, it's not just about Trump. I mean, it is kind of about Trump, but it's about anybody who's doing digital trading cards for themselves.

Yeah, yeah. And not even like, it's not even like a baseball card where, you know, the guy's holding the bat in a fake pose. He's on a lion with a shield and an American flag. I mean, come on. What the fuck is going on? Anyway, so I said, who's behind this? Because you know, Trump doesn't know the first fucking thing about computers. He doesn't supposedly doesn't even email. I mean, he doesn't even email. So the only thing he knows

how to do is do those truths, which is kind of ironic. But anyway, he, what I found out by doing a little bit of investigation is that they're all trying to now get in big on crypto by making this trading platform and his son Baron wrote this white paper with other guys about how to do this trading platform and the FTS and all this other stuff. Well, some of the geniuses behind this who are pulling the strings. Cause you know, Trump just puts his name on it. That's his whole gig. He puts his name on it. He finds an idea. Someone pays him a shitload of money. He puts his name on it. That's his whole gig. He puts his name on it. Finds an idea, someone pays him a shitload of money, he puts his name

on it. So who are the people who are actually behind this whole new NFT, EFT altcoin platform that they're going to put together? Well, one of the guys, what was his name again? Zach Bauer. Zach Bauer is on the corporate documents and he's on the corporate documents, but that's not his only company. One of his companies is how to date more hotties or something like that, datemorehotties.com or datehotter.com or something.

He's actually a PWA, he's a pickup artist and he has been at one of our favorite conventions, like, you know, alpha male conventions that we've been reviewing some of these guys up on stage for a long time, the 21 convention. So then Chrissy and I went further down the rabbit hole in between Friday and today, or in between that episode and this episode, we went further down the rabbit hole and decided to see if there was a 21 convention upcoming that maybe we could somehow sneak somebody in there. Infiltrate. Or at least I would show up to the bar and get some good footage. See what kind of lines they're trying to pitch. You would just be like,

you'd be like an electric lamp to mosquitoes, Tracy. I swear to God. I mean, we'd have to get security with you. I wouldn't trust you just going down there by yourself. we'd have to get security with you. I wouldn't trust you just going down there by yourself. I'd be, I have to be a plant. Of course, I probably look like one of the guys who would show up. So, pause for those of you that don't know. I'm sure you do. If you listen to the show, it all is a pickup artist or a dating coach or an alpha male coach.

Guys that are out there teaching other gentlemen how to pick up women for the specific purpose of bedding them. This is not relationship advice. This is how do you bouncing them on your dick, which is a quote from Zach. That's exactly what he said. So the 21 convention has been going on for years. Chrissy and I figured out that the 21 convention is actually an umbrella event of something called the 21 summit. Is it something like that? Okay. Which is all things alpha male 21 studios from 21 21 studios person. And they've got a, they've got a big convention. They have three different conferences going on around the same time.

One for women, one for fathers, and one for men, one for fathers. It is the ultimate alpha male. I mean, they make no bones about who they are. You've got to give them props on this. They tell you on the nose exactly what you're going to get. It is alpha male, trad wife, total buy-in to men rule the world, women don't. We're going to teach you how to be... Submit now. Submit. That's right. You are in power, I am in control, all that kind of stuff.

Now, there's a certain segment of the population that certainly buys into this. There's probably a big segment of the population that buys into this, bigger than I'd like to think, Chrissy, actually. And apparently in 2023, they ran into a hiccup. They had to cancel their 21 summit because of poor ticket sales. And the gentleman who has run this for the last 17 or 18 years, he put out a statement. Yeah, his name is Anthony Dream Johnson. Anthony Dream Johnson. Anthony the Dream Johnson.

I mean, you're gonna make this shit up. You can't make this shit up. You wanna read that poster or should I? Oh my God, well, I mean the highlights. I don't need to hear the whole thing. Well, yeah, he's the first president of the Manosphere. Oh, just so you know. He said, well, he's going in.

I have it. He's saying he's I mean, he's just it's awful. He's just saying that he it was his decision to cancel it because of family stuff and they had a baby and it was a lot to keep up with and try and juggle it all. But we found a- A rift in the group. Because some of the guys that were supposed to speak

in this did some kind of podcast, a vodcast where the morning that they got canceled, they went on in the afternoon to talk shit about Anthony. And that one guy said that he had mental issues or lost it. Yeah, he had lost the plot and he was tearing down relationships. There's apparently a lot of intra fighting going on over there, which you wouldn't expect when there's 75 alpha males trying to compete for attention.

Who knew? Who knew? I can't believe it's all hug and love. Yeah. You didn't think that Anthony would just be the brother who would just like, you know, hand the microphone and put the spotlight on somebody else? I mean, come on. It's like, I don't know. There's so many tropes and cliches and all this. And listen, if that's how you feel, that's how you feel. And that's who you are, that's who you are. And God bless you. I happen to think differently. That doesn't mean that I dislike you or I hate you. That just means that I think differently. I'm just too soft. Why am I so soft in the middle now? I'm so soft in the middle now.

I get a boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Sit around and tread wife with your favorite girl, favorite girl. So anyway, Zach was on our last show. We had, we were, he was given as he had come up with the four elements.

The four elements. I got to give Zach credit for one thing. He gets on stage. Now this is a very popular tone to take right now in the POIC community as I've traveled around the internet, is that the old pickup artists like Mystery and, you know, Adam Lyons and these guys, and to some degree, like John Anthony Lifestyle, they are teaching you a scientific method of how to open a set, quote unquote. And opening a set means to make you look more attractive to a woman in a cold environment. Like you walk into a bar and you find that you bring

some hot friends with you so that that girl, and you know, they're kissing all over you so that some other girl at the bar thinks you're attractive in some way. You bring hot girls with you or something. Back when the wooly mammoths were alive. You say you dated a stripper and he stole your car, that's a Maserati.

Makeup stories that make it sound like you're a desirable man in some way, shape or form, like opening the set. But what they don't ever tell you, according to some of these new pause, what they don't tell you, the old guard, they don't tell you how to actually get the girl in the back. How to get the bounce. Yeah, how to get them to bounce on your balls, which is what Zach actually said.

What they don't say is how to get them to bounce on your dick. Yeah. Oh, God. Which, you know, whatever. Anyway, I don't even know what to say. But okay, so he's taking a new approach. He's literally skewering the other speakers at the convention. He's like talking shit about them on stage.

So I'm giving Zach just a little bit of credit for that. Doesn't mean I agree with anything he's saying. It just means that at least he's trying to pull the covers back a little bit, that this whole scientific method to success in sex is bullshit, because it is bullshit. I don't think there is, in my opinion, I'm sure that under certain circumstances, listen, even a blind squirrel gets a nut if you wait long enough. Fun intended. So I'm sure that under certain circumstances, somebody has used one of these methods and found some success with it. But the truth is, is that I think humans in general, not even just women, humans in general

are smart enough to sniff out when they're being manipulated. And if they're not smart enough to sniff out when they're being manipulated. And if they're not smart enough to sniff out when they're being manipulated, is that really like long-term successful relationship goals? If you're looking to bed someone for the night, okay, I get it. You're going to be sneaky and sleazy and figure it out, you know, how I manipulate this person into bed. But is that really at the end of the day, the right thing to do? Probably not. But lots of people do it. I mean, it's not a crime to, you know, make up a story and get someone that's more attracted to you. It's just a kind of a dumb way

to go about things. Yeah. And I would think that with all the difficulties in dating these days, like how very difficult it is to have just like normal social interactions person to person, let alone actual dates and the ghosting and Tinder and Flinder and Bumblebee and Bumbletox and whatever the fuck is going on. With all of that stuff, isn't it hard to fuck enough without having to memorize algebraic formulas for getting a girl to your bedroom? That's my opinion. Like, just be yourself at the end of the day.

Be yourself. Somebody out there is going to like you. You may have to strike out a million times before you get a home run, but take it from a guy who knows, right? Rejection is part of the game. I literally, I literally had to steal a woman from Venezuela in order to get married. Okay? All right? That was not an easy task, because she's a smart one. I had to convince her she was going to come here and be in the lap of luxury. And now she's begging for out. But I keep saying, the children. But what about the children? I don't give a shit. I'm taking the kids. Life under Maduro is better than this. I'd rather live in communist China.

My mom's willing to buy my plane tickets today. So since this was so much fun on Friday, and because we have done a little bit of additional homework and now we have some additional context to all of this, I thought it would be a crime to not get into the meat and potatoes of this guy's speech, because we really just scratched the surface. This whole thing is like 50 minutes long. We're not going to go through all 50 minutes of it. His short speech is now long. That's right. He got up there and he said, I know it's the end of the day and everybody's tired, so I'm not going to keep you here not going to keep you here too long. And then he keeps referring to the, like, he'll be like, I'm going to get into this an hour number three. And I'm like,

he's just not the most charismatic person in the world, but Chrissy and I will try and help you pop it along. So let's do this though, because we do have to pay some bills or my wife really will leave me. Yeah. Chrissy too. So let's do this. Let's take a short break and then, oh, let me mention this before we go to break, because this is, I think, it's prescient. I feel like this is something we should say. There are jokester brokesters out there on the web who are now trying to sell TCB live tickets for like 60x, the actual price, for 250. They went from like 70 to 140 to 180 and now $260 is what I'm seeing on some of these broker sites. That's crazy. If you choose to use a

broker site because you have a friend at the broker business and you want to keep their mortgage paid, cool. Otherwise, you can get tickets by going in the show notes to our live shows. You do not, and this will take you right straight to the website where you can buy the tickets at face value. I promise you there are still tickets available. As far as I know, today there are still tickets available. And if they're not, then I guess you're going to have to go to a broker site if you really want to go. But don't pay $250. Go to the website of the venue, Dania Improv, Orlando Funny Bone, use the links in our show notes on our website, on our Instagram, or just go to the venue site, the actual venue site itself, the Orlando Funny Bone, Dania Improv, and buy the tickets there.

I swear to God, they are dirt cheap and we kept them that way because we know the value we're bringing to the table. It's not. It's not that great. Paying $250 doesn't make any sense. You're only making somebody else richer. We get none of that. We have no idea who's doing this. This is our first foray into live, somebody else richer, we get none of that. We have no idea who's doing this. This is our first foray into live, I mean, this isn't our first foray into live events in life. It's the commercial breaks first live events in general.

So we have no idea what these shenanigans are, but they are not 250 or 60 or $70, whatever they're being sold for. Don't pay that, just go straight to the website. If you sit in the back of the room, don't worry about it. They're small venues, you'll get to see us. We'll all come and say hello. Actually, I plan on having an Uber waiting and warm

at the end of the night. So in case you wanna ask for your 40 bucks back. We can jet out of there. If you, I'm gonna have the Uber because if somebody does pay $250, I don't wanna get killed at the end of the night. All right. Zach Bauer, more on him in just a few minutes. Let's say pay some bills and we'll be back. We're not a real podcast if we're not plugging our Instagram, right?

That's right, honey. So follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. And don't you forget TikTok at TCB Podcasts. So you can see Brian and Chrissy on your homepage every day, which I know you're just simply desperate for. And if you want to see us in person, guess what you finally can, because we're coming to Florida because only Florida would let TCB come there. Just kidding, kind of.

You can come see us at Daniel Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th and at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. Yeah, I know you want to come to both days. That's right. Anyway, the links to both of those are in our show notes. So go get them, get your tickets and then tell us that you're coming by texting us at 212-433-3822. And if there's anything else you need from us, I am sure you can find it on our website,

tcbpodcast.com. Live, laugh, love. Bye. It's not just about watching the game. It's about betting on it. I'm Mike Valeni and on Cash the Ticket, Jim Costa and I break down every college football and NFL matchup like it's the last game we're ever going to watch. From the best bets to the sneaky underdogs and of course, as my co-host likes to say,

the value. And the one thing we're not going to do is pretend we're professionals. We have fun with it, it's an entertainment product and it makes watching games a hell of a lot of fun. So Cash the Ticket, follow it in the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, back here with our good friend, Zach Bauer, the 21 convention that was unfortunately canceled last year.

And I guess that means they're not having one this year also. Yeah, there's no news. But tickets are still available on their website. If you'd like to go last year to the one that was canceled, I'm sure they'll take your $3,000. $3,000. Is that how much it was? VIP tickets, yeah.

Oh my God. VIP. Yeah. That is not the price of a commercial break ticket in Dania Improv. I'll tell you that. I'm not looking for what you guys are probably think I'm looking for, right? I'm not looking to get a positive reaction from her I'm not looking to get her laughing not yeah, I mean either. I'm not gonna get instant rejection

I'm not looking for a positive reaction. Yeah, or make her laugh. Oh fuck yourself Exactly now you're on now. We're on to something. Let's sit down. You want to buy a beer Only thing and this is the first step of what I'm going to give you, which is our Ferra system, which is basically like... Ferra. Ferra system? I think this is like the last part that we did on Friday. The vera system?

Or the thera. Thera system? Yeah. Like theraflu. Okay. Yeah. Theraflu. I feel like I need some.

Thera-pee is what I feel like I need after listening to this asshole Is that Rob and I are doing right now? Was basically what we learned we were doing after watching about a hundred or so hours of infield footage of ourselves How are they getting the footage for one? I mean were they like hidden camera, body cam? Gotta assume. Glasses, you know, camera in the glasses thing. By the way. And then they're analyzing it. Yeah, then they're analyzing it. By the way. I went into Starbucks the other day and for the third day in a row I saw a dude who was just like laughing hysterically at him like himself. He had the Apple goggles on, those Apple things on, and he had two computer screens open, looked like the kind of guy who

got in early on the technology, if you know what I'm saying. And he was having a full-on conversation. I don't know with who, maybe somebody he was talking to, but he was like, yeah. It was the creepiest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't want that to be our future. I don't want our future with everybody with big helmets on their heads laughing hysterically at themselves. But I can see Zach Bauer being out in the field with one of those. Something very different than what we even thought we were doing two years ago. And what we're doing, I'll give you a quick rundown.

FARA stands for focus, emotion. Oh, yeah, you were right. Pharah. Pharah, yeah. Focus, emotion, rejection, attention. Pour and arousal. What? Wait, rapport and arousal, focus, emotion, rapport and arousal?

Arousal. Did they just put those four words together because it says something, like you could spell something with their first letter? I think so. Okay, let's follow them. Now, if you notice, there's nothing about opening, there's nothing about attraction, there's nothing about escalating, none of that. And the reason is this, because when I go up to a girl and I'm trying to, you know, build some sort of a dynamic

that's going to let me move it towards sex, I'm not trying to open her. I don't want to spend my time opening her. Yes you do. Well, I've got news for you. I don't know if you've taken an anatomy class lately, but eventually you're going to have to open her. Oh Lord. I've got news for you.

I don't know if you've taken an anatomy class lately, but eventually you're going to have to open her. Oh Lord. That's a big waste of my time. Who here has a really good opener? Okay, let's hear a good opener. Yeah, let's hear it. Okay, this does sound like a good opener. What do you think of guys who wear jean shorts?

Why do you think some guys wear jean shorts? What do you think of guys that wear jean shorts what do you think of guys that wear jeans shorts? That's your opener? That's your opener? Wow. What do you think of guys who wear jorts? It works every time. Most of the time it works every time. So where does that lead to?

Just out of curiosity, just tell me where that's going to lead. Yeah, I'm interested to hear this answer too. Basically it's going to lead to most likely her laughing and saying that guys wearing jeans shorts are no-no. That's what happened in that instance. Okay, so basically like... Earth! Humans! Welcome to earth What do you think of guys that weren't George What it worked in that instance

Instance because I guess the girls he said that the girl laughed and said it was a no-no Yes, that it was a note. So where do you go after that? Thank you. Goodbye. Desired reaction. Achieved. Desired reaction achieved. Level two unlocked. Bye-bye. Opening set successful. Refer to manual. For the next thing to say.

Malfunction in penis hard drive. Fully erection attained. Pre ejaculate in my tiny whitey's runaway. Does anyone else have any other openers that they like that they think are good openers? Does anybody else have a genius way of talking to women? They're doing your presentation for them. You know what's going on here, bud. It's lazy.

One I like to use is when I come up and ask an indirect question like, hey, where's the nearest pizza shop, and right when she starts talking, where is the nearest pizza shop? My iPhone does not have additional information. Where is the nearest pizza shop? I've lost internet communications with my eyeglasses. And I don't mean eyeglasses, I mean eyeglasses. You stop her and say, oh wait, stop, look,

I really didn't come up to ask you where the nearest pizza shop is. I'm Rodney, I just wanted to say hi to you. Okay. Oh, Rodney. Full clitoral stimulation achieved. I got her with the Rodney line. I'm Rodney. Where's the deer? I have to change that name to Rod

because Rodney just sense danger field. I think it's a no no to be called Rodney. Second of all, what? No. Or where's the nearest pizza shop? I'm sorry. I lied. I totally... Just kidding. Yeah, just kidding. I got that information on my iPhone. I'm Rodney. I also have that information on my iPhone. I'm allergic to bees. I've got my EpiPen with me just in case something happens. So basically, like, you know, both of those are fine.

The thing is... Don't lie to them, Zach. Don't tell them lies. They're fine. They're fine. They're okay. We really found when we started going out and getting really, really strong reactions from women...

Raw footage. ...is that... When we got the raw footage footage what we found out is that we we could bear back anybody into an opening set getting them to open actually open was much harder none of this like none of the openers that you've ever read are gonna work if she's not looking at you and she's not listening to you, right? Well, yes. No eye contact. Abort mission, abort mission.

I could just see some guy like talking at the side of a girl's head. Where is the- Are you a female? Yeah. Where can I buy a t-shirt? No head turning, abort mission, abort, abort. Right?

I mean, like you can walk up to a girl and you could say that to her, but if she's not looking at you, she has her back to you. It's not going anywhere, right? Where can I buy a calzone? Turn around, please. I'd like to ask your hair a question. Do you know where the nearest bagel shop is? I find it's much easier to talk to your hair. I'm practicing my opening sentence.

I know that this sounds obvious, but this goes a lot further. We have students every single weekend who I see, they walk up to girls and they say, hey, you're cute, I wanted to meet you, or like, you know. To the back of her head? Yeah. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha. I see it every weekend. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Me and my reproductive machinery find you very suitable. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. reproductive machinery finds you very suitable. I am pitching a tent. This is amazing. Oh my God. We haven't even been through a minute of this. It's too funny. It's too good. So whatever, you know, whatever question is some kind of funny conversation, and they're saying it too soft, they're saying it without getting the girl looking at them,

and they're saying it without the girl's full attention. Okay? Who is talking to someone without their full attention? Or not looking. Not looking, what? I know. I'm picturing it with like a little small group of guys out at a bar or something. He's like, okay, now go show me what you got.

Hello. And then they go and just start talking. Yeah, just talking like in the middle of a bar, just like head going everywhere. Hello, attractive females of earth. Would you like to make eye contact with me? Pupil malfunction on behalf of females. Return to layer.

Return to base. For recharging with other like kind. Okay. Now, one of the things that's so important, you hear all the time people are talking about eye contact, right? Like, oh, it's important to have good eye contact. You got to have good eye contact. Well, why? The reason that it's really important to get good eye contact is because, I mean, you guys are looking

at me right now. Like, I see all of you guys. I have your full attention, except Nick in the back who's kind of daising off. Nick and Rodney back there. Nick, I see you snagging off, bro. What up? You got that skivity skimity? What's up dude? Nick. We're going to hit that purple purple later? Hey man, do me a favor. Go get me some more of that hard seltzer.

You got a hard seltzer on you? No? Alright, talk later. Seriously though, like you guys are looking at me right now. I have your full attention. So the first thing that I want to do and that you guys should be trying to do is- Well, that gives you an idea too of the size of the audience. Yes.

If he can point out- Point out Nick in the back. In the middle. Yeah, he's in the back. Basically, if you can hear everybody through his microphone, the audience is not that big. Focusing on beginning conversation with a girl, open a girl, whatever it might be, the first thing that you guys need to focus and act like, you know, actually go out and consciously do is get a girl's full attention. You need to get her full focus on you.

Okay? Does anybody have any questions about why this is different? No, I don't have any questions about basic human interaction. I'm sorry, I don't. I mean, by the way, I know that there are neurodivergent people who absolutely have a hard time with this. And so I want to be careful about this but generally speaking when someone is paying attention to you they are looking at yes at least looking at you or around you they're not looking to the other direction going up and opening okay oh oh there is a question.

Can you explain eye contact? I guess when you say get her full focus on you, I keep doing it. What do you mean by eye contact? Can you explain full focus? If she is speaking on a telephonic speaker conference call? Is that considered full focus? Ack, ack. Well, I guess when you say get her full focus on you, I keep thinking of, you know,

that show I saw on MTV, The Pickup Artist, where Mystery would go up to the bar next to the lady and he would just kind of look away and say something to her and then just keep walking. See, that's my point. Mystery literally said he had pussy falling from the sky in Austin, Texas. He did. Mystery is the ultimate. He's the first.

He's the OG bullshitter about this. That's exactly what I'm talking about not doing. That's the kind of stuff that was getting Rob and I zero girls. I mean, what were they doing anyway? He's Breezing by, hey, and then walking away? He would stand up. I remember this show. I do remember the show because I think I reviewed it hoping that we could use some of the clips, but a lot of them were very visual and we couldn't. But I also remember it being on TV. This is years ago, maybe 15 years ago now. But Mystery had this show, I don't think it was on MTV, I think it actually was on VH1.

And it was called Mystery, the Art of Picking up Seduction or something like that. But one of his whole things was, is that you would walk into a room with something noticeable about you. That's why he's wearing those dumb hats, right? Walk into a room with other women around, you're being attracted, and then you would stand at a bar where a couple of single

women were and you would just like kind of look at them, give them the head nod and then turn away. And it's like that's how are you picking up a girl if you're not even talking to her? It doesn't make any sense. But it was all this buildup. It was like this dramatic, you know, play that he was doing like this whole dance around the bar that he was doing. It was just stupid. It was all this buildup. It was like this dramatic play that he was doing, like this whole dance around the bar that he was doing. It was just stupid. It was so fucking stupid. And by the way, there were like 21 different cameras in the bar.

It was clearly just a studio bar. We'd walk up to a girl at a bar, we'd say something to her, we'd walk away, and then we'd be nowhere near her. And then girls lost for forever, right? So what I'm saying is what I'm talking about and something that if any, I don't know if any of you are familiar with any of like any of our infield footage, but one of the things that infield foot, where is this infield? I know I really want to see it now. Zach, send it to me, bro. I know you're in the crypto world now and you want to forget these days, but

send it to me and I'll make sure the legacy stays alive. That's right. We hear a lot about our in-field footage is that we work really fast and that we're really, really aggressive. And the fact is, is that I don't even see it that way. The way that I see it is, is that we are just doing things that are so different from what everyone else

is doing right now, that it's just like, they don't see what we're doing, right? And what we're doing. I have this whole thing where we are literally changing the game so much that no one understands what game we're playing, not even us. We work so fast in Furious, we hand out business cards. So fast and aggressive.

Have you guys heard of business cards? That's our next model. I put them on the bar before the bar opens and it says, wanna fuck? Call Zach. Yeah, put them bounce. You wanna get it from the back? I'm your man, Zach. Here's my phone number. ...is coming up, we're tapping girls on the shoulder, turning, like waiting for them to turn around, locking eyes with them and not saying anything.

And scaring the holy fuck out of them? Not saying anything. Hey you. Hey you. Stare. Look into my eyes, deep into my eyes. Sir you're under arrest. Sir come with me.

But wait I was opening a set bro. That's my first set bro. Damn. Anything. Because the fact is, is that you don't want to, bro. Damn. Anything. Because the fact is, is that you don't want to say anything. Nothing. Not an opener about jean shorts, not anything about a pizza place, until you have this girl basically wait.

Well, when you say it like that, it sounds stupid, but it worked for me. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm here. Again. That's why I'm here. Yeah. That's why I'm here. Again. I need to say, what do you want? Because it's that expectation. It's that pause, that quiet, that moment that you guys share before you say anything that's

going to really begin this interaction on an emotional and sexual way. You aren't in the Swiss Alps on a bare skin rug with a bottle of champagne next to a warm fire. It's not an intimate moment if you're at a bar, the girl doesn't know you and you've literally tapped her on the shoulder. If I'm the girl, I'm telling the bar staff to call security. Right, watch out that guy. And it's gonna really get you

the interaction off from a place where the girl's saying, what's gonna happen? I'm waiting for this guy to give me a reason why he tapped me on the shoulder or why he's staying. No, I refuse to. Let's just share this moment. Or what if he does the old tap tap and then looks away? Yeah.

Yeah. Dodges it. Whoop, whoop. Let's just share this moment. Or what if he does the old tap tap and then looks away? Yeah. Dodges it. We crawl under the bar with a feather and tickle their feet. All right. More fun with Zach. We'll be back. You already know who it is.

Christina here to keep you actually informed, unlike some people we know, Brian. I've got certified, verified, factual information about our Florida shows, so listen up. We are coming to Dania Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th, and The Funny Bone in Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. And links to those tickets are in the show notes,

so go get them. In other completely new and interesting news, you should follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, go to our website, tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio and video content. And finally, if you want to tell Brian and Chrissy that I am a pretty, pretty princess, or that you hate me, text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Bye! Okay, and we're back with our friend Zach. We're having a Zach attack here at the commercial break today. Zach attack. As he's teaching us a brand new method to success with the ladies, how to bid them, not open them, eventually open them, but not open them immediately.

Keep them closed for a while and then open them by tapping them on the shoulder, having them turn around and say nothing, share an intimate moment before you get into all the specifics like what's your name? Where's the pizza place? Where's the pizza place? What do you think about guys with jorts? Jorts. All right, let's see what else he has to say.

Bring at me like that and took me by the hand and pull me in. Now, this is very different than walking up and trying to say something to a girl, trying to ask her a question, you know, and the thing is is that we found it doesn't matter that jean shorts opener, phenomenal. Pizza place, great, doesn't matter, but if you do either of those things and preface it by tapping her on the shoulder and waiting for her to lock eyes with you and just taking maybe a two to three second pause before you drop that line

or before you tell her about the pizza's place and you add in a little bit of a smile. Think about what this interaction is like going to physically look like. I'm not talking about what to say. Well, yeah. I mean, how were they doing it before? I don't know. Speaking of the back of someone. Hi, where's our pizza place? I know, well I mean, wow. The fact that he's gotta break it down to this and say that they need to have them look at you

for two seconds. The fact that he had to break it down like this to himself. Right. It should tell you everything you need to know. After years, two years. Yes, after three years of, wasn't it five years or something of intense training? Like a Jedi master, they read all the books on the e-reader? Yes.

Oh man, this is crazy. Think about how long three seconds is to stare somebody you don't know in the eyes. Ready? Here, let's do it. I mean, that's a long fucking time to say nothing after you've tapped someone on the shoulder. Girl, this is on such a different level because you're not communicating with the words, right? You're communicating on such a subliminal level.

You're communicating in a primal sexual way where this girl is basically being baited into waiting to hear what's going to come out of your mouth. And you drop it with a little bit of a smile. Do you like jorts? With strong eye contact and slow. Excuse me. Do you like jorts? Because I've got some in my backpack. I'll put them on.

Hack hack. Complete failure. System breakdown. And anything you say sounds sexual, whether it's about jean shorts, a pizza place, and the fact is, is that if you guys have ever heard about direct openers, everything is a direct opener when you tap a girl on the shoulder and stare into her eyes, okay?

You don't need to say, I think you're cute and I wanted to meet you. You can ask her her favorite pizza place because you are being so direct. What? I don't know. Why would you go up to a random stranger, tap him on the shoulder, wait 30 minutes to talk to him and stare him in the eyes and then say, what's your favorite pizza place? I have a feeling the success on this one is zero. Yeah.

Yes. Can I buy you a drink? Are you here with anybody? I think you're attractive. I said, okay, if I sit down, we can talk for a minute. That's it. That's my opener. Actually, I had no opener.

My opener was, can I have another Bud Light? I'm going to wear you down before the end of the night and catch your phone number. That won't be real, but it'll make me feel better. And then I'll be back next Tuesday night to do the same thing. You're being so emotionally direct with this girl that it doesn't matter if you're talking about a pizza place or you're talking about a pool party that you want to go to. It's going to have sexual undertones. A pool party?

What a great idea. A pool party. So then, you know, this leaves- Hey, I know this pool party down the street. Listen, I've never been to one of these and I've never been to a pool party that I haven't set up myself in my own pool. Like, no one's ever invited me to a pool party. I mean, that's not 100% true, but mostly true.

People don't call me up and go, hey, bro, pool party, you want to come? It's like... You came to my pool party. Oh, yeah, I did come to your pool party. That's true. That's true. That's the only pool party I've been to where other single women were involved. It's, you know, they don't bring, like, they're not looking for Brian's bod. You know, when you're stacking the pool party with lots of hot people, they don't go, Brian, we forgot about Brian. How could we not bring Brian? He's got that 24 pack of Bud Light hanging around his belly.

Let's get him. We haven't even talked about what to say yet, right? And already, you've kind of built this sort of, you know, this experience. It's going to snowball from here. So this kind of takes us to the second piece of the puzzle, which is, you know, emotional investment. And, you know, a lot of guys and a lot of people

in this industry talk about- So we're part of the, we're F.E. of the feral. F.E. of the feral, that's right. How to be feral. Here's my feral method E of the feral. That's right. How to be feral. Here's my feral method. To get girls attracted. How many guys have gone out and tried to get girls attracted before? Yeah, I did.

I tried that for a long time. And you know what I realized? Why does Zach remind me of one of those guy, like Neanderthal, Geico commercial guys? He does. He has a little bit shorter hair. Girls don't want to meet a guy who's trying to get them attracted. Peacocky?

Girls want to meet a guy who's already attracting them. Girls don't want you to come up, come out of nowhere, be a fucking loser, and start giving them these really great lines that kind of like make her say, wait a second, I was so wrong, this guy's not a loser. I do want to bang him, yeah! It's like, that's not how this goes, okay? And the fact of the matter is, what I'm talking about here is-

I could have followed the method. I could have followed the method. I can see someone in the back like getting angrier and angrier like, I spent $75,000 and 10 years of my life on mystery's method, and tell me it's all wrong. Not focus on looks or money or age. I mean, I swear to God, we've had students that are, you see him walking around with the girls now, and yeah, he's too fat for her.

And yeah, he's too old for her, and too divorced or too, you know, whatever. Too divorced? I am so divorced. That's too much. That's too much. Settle down, Brian. He still has that girl. And you know, it's the other guys on the street that are saying he's too fat for her.

It's not himself. Make it sound like everybody's like a part of a street gang. Running around from bar to bar. When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last iron day. He's too fat for her. Hey, Jimmy, he's too fat for her. Yeah. Yeah, I said it. What are you gonna do? Yeah. Yeah, I said it. What are you gonna do?

Dance fight later on tonight, right here. Knife fight. Where do these people live? Difference is because instead of trying to get a girl attracted, you put me out in a bar, tell me to go try to get a girl attracted, I'm going to fail miserably. Because I don't have the first idea about how to get a girl attracted who's not already attracted. What I do know

how to do is create an experience that every girl wants to be a part of and ends in having sex. You sound like Taylor Swift's tour manager. I'm going to make it. I'm going to build an experience that every woman wants to be a part of and that every man who takes them there gets to go home and have sex with her. Take her to a Taylor Swift concert. Done deal, dude. That's what we're moving towards right now, but I want you guys to understand that this

begins not with opening or conversation or getting her attracted, it begins when you get her focused on you. If you can hold a girl's full focus, then that's all it comes down to. It gives you a very, very good stage that's been set for you to then transition this relationship back to the bedroom, okay? So like I said, the second piece, which is emotional investment. Tap tap stare. No girl wants a loser to come up to them with a bunch of opening lines.

So tap them on the shoulder, then give them your opening line. Let them qualify you first. I don't know how to make a girl who's not attracted to me, attracted to me, but I sure do know how to make a girl who's not attracted to me, attracted to me. Excuse me one second. That's kind of fair. Oh yeah, that sounded crisp and clean. It's all part of his stage presence. He's like Tony Robbins. Building up. Wow.

He spilled on himself. He drank water like Marco Rubio that one time. So basically what's the difference between emotional investment and getting a girl attracted, okay? Emotional investment is when a girl wants to find out more about you, when a girl's intrigued by you, when a girl likes the things that you're saying and she wants you to say more of them, when a girl enjoys your presence and will do things like tell her friends, oh no, no, no, I'm fine, just go to the bar without me because she wants to be around. No no no I don't need the rape whistle.

What? Don't call security. It's a pretty low bar when you say it's a success if your friends don't call the cops. I mean we're really not aiming very high, are we? Because you make her feel good, okay? Now this is a very, very simple thing to do. And a lot of the time guys are like, you know, a lot of our students will ask, well, what does it look like? Well, emotional investment is-

It looks like a turtle that pops out of its shed. That's when Rob and I demonstrate in real time. That's when Rob and I demonstrate how to tap each other on the shoulder and bounce on each other's dicks. Rob and I have been, there aren't many, listen, I've been failing with all these women, but that's what I realized. There's lots of guys out there. He said that yesterday. He did.

Very simple. All it is, is when the girl starts asking you questions about yourself, right? Have you guys ever been out at a bar and had a girl say, Oh, you're funny. What's your name? Has anyone ever heard that before? Yeah. Yeah? Okay. Have you guys ever been out at a bar and had a girl say, oh, you're funny, what's your name? Has anyone ever heard that before? Yeah, okay, that's emotional. Yeah.

Yeah. My mom thinks I'm hilarious. I know. You're funny, what's your name? I'm your son. It's Rodney. It's Rodney, mom. I'm trying to open a set here. Where you chill

Take a couple buttons down. I'm trying to garner attraction Beginning to become emotionally invested in you have you guys ever heard girls say wait, so what's your name? You guys ever heard that one I've asked it lots, but I just never got a response like quantum physics here. I mean this stuff is very QUANTUM PHYSICS! He's like it's not quantum physics no one's ever had their name asked before This is a tough crowd I mean I kind of knew what I was up against but I didn't know it was this bad Guys, throw away all your mystery materials You gotta get with Zack

Zack Attack Let's get feral together, boys. So, you know, rather than just tell you, okay, so, you know, step one, get her focused. Step two, try to get her to ask you questions. I'm going to tell you one of the most effective ways that Rob and I have to get a girl to begin emotionally investing. Oh, I can't wait. Using statements. We have this this we have a

technique that we call conversation bait. We have a technique we call conversation. We have a technique we call talking. Now get about to blow your mind. By opening your mouth and making different vocal tones with your tongue in your throat, using your lips to support the vowels, you too can get laid. This is complicated, I know. Late technique. I'm actually going to give you two strategies that we use. You guys can go out and use them tonight. Hopefully you start seeing some good results. We're all about fast, fast results.

I bet you are about fast, fast results. I bet we talk a few ladies. You've been it in your years. I'm all about fast... I'm on about fast... Oh! Oh! Oh! Fast results with Zack. And you've been Zack-attacked! I went feral on your ass.

First technique, conversation bait, right? Now, I want to preface this by saying this is not about cold reading. This is not about any sort of like crazy manipulation. Disclaimer. Conversation based is nothing more than alcohol. I want to disclaim this usually doesn't work. I want to tell you up ahead of time, this 99% of the time this is not going to work. Maybe closer to 100, but don't worry.

I'm going to tell it to you anyway. Throwing something out there that is going to force the girl to want to have a conversation, right? Saying something like, oh, you have an accent, don't you? Whether she does or doesn't, okay? If a girl has an accent, she's going to say, yeah, I'm from South Africa. And if a girl doesn't, she's going to laugh and say, why would you ask me that? Right?

That's it. Questions in the chat. Boom, your end. Pant. Boom! Panties wet. Soaked. I call that the panty changer. Extra panties please. Then you can continue. More statements. Just keep prodding. Keep drilling down,

and she's going to keep asking you guys questions. So for instance, a good example of the conversation bait is that question, or saying, you know, you have an accent, don't you? On an accent? You know, you have an accent, don't you? No, you don't? Well, not where you're from, but here, I mean, I hear it.

Where are you from? Where are you from? No, I mean, I know you're from somewhere else. Don't use questions, Chrissy, only statements. I know you're from somewhere else. No, you're not. I suspect you're lying. I suspect this is going poorly. Do you mind if I start over again with more question-based conversation? Tap, tap. Turn back around. Turn back around. Let's start this over. Because the fact is, is like, what could a girl possibly say to that?

Like, she's either going to say yes, no, or why would you ask me that, right? Like, I mean, I can promise you. Yeah, that sounds like a great, why would you ask me that? Because I've said this thousands of times, and that's the only three answers I've ever heard. Fact of the matter is, is that if she says, yes I do, you have something to talk about, right? She's going to start telling you about herself, she's going to start emotionally investing.

She says, no I don't, why would you ask me that? Well there you have some friction, right? Might feel a little bit awkward. Well the fact of the matter is, you guys have probably been taught to avoid that awkwardness, to avoid fact of the matter is you guys have probably been taught to avoid that awkwardness, to avoid moments of her maybe putting up resistance to the interaction. What we've actually found is that resistance allows you to overcome it and bring you two

together and create very strong sexual emotions when you guys have a fight going between you. A fight? A fight. What? We're pruning the pair field for the fight in our initial conversation. We're getting ready for makeup sex? Oh, man. Oh, wow. We didn't even get to the other thing.

We aren't even close. I mean, we're halfway through this video, but it's just too fun. It's so much fun. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Zach, you are the best. I wish you all the crypto success, bro. I really do. Oh man, where do we, where do these people come from? Listen, it's obvious he's put a lot of time and energy into thinking about really wacky ways to try and get girls into bed. Not sure one of them will work, but okay. You know, I'd like to hear from any of the guys in the audience. Like, did they ever use any of these techniques and did they ever work? Or speak to any human being, let alone a single female at a bar.

Because I think that's the hardest part of this all, is walking into the bar. Yeah. That's it. If you walk into a bar and you go to that bar long enough, you're gonna find somebody to talk to. It's walking into the bar that I think a lot of guys and girls have a hard time with. And maybe the bar's not your spot.

Maybe DragonCon or something like that would be a better place for you. Yeah. Yeah. Common interests. Speaking of DragonCon, it was just a couple weeks ago. Yeah. And yeah.

Anyway, I don't know why I said that. Because it's a big weekend in Atlanta. It is, everyone loves to go to DragonCon. Everyone loves their DragonCon. The parade. I've only been once, twice. I've been to the parade and then I went to the actual event one time. Yeah, a lot of fun.

A lot of fun. A lot of fun people down there. Exactly. Yeah, it was good. I mean, it's not something I want to attend to every year, but it's just because it's a lot of effort and I'm not a dresser-upper, so I always feel like I'm gawking a little bit.

It feels a little bit like, I don't know, like costume porn to me. Like I'm watching costume porn but anyway I enjoyed well looking at the pictures that's for sure all right we're gonna be at Dania point on the 24th at Dania improv on the 24th the funny bone on the 25th in Orlando please come see us 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 8 2 2 that's 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 TCB questions comments concerns content concerns, content ideas. If you're going to be at the show, we'd love to hear from you. Please go to the links inside the

show notes to buy your tickets and nowhere else, unless you're going to go on our website or something like that. Also at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tick tock and youtube.com slash the commercial break Okay, Chrissy. That's all I can do for right now I think but I'll tell you that I love and I love you say best to you best to you best you out there in the Podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say good bye Goodbye! Oh hell yeah!