The Commercial Break - Mountain 'Gasms

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

Git to gittin’ and git yerself a gasm! Bryan & Krissy are talking Smokey Robinson (not the bear), Mountain Monsters, and Onlyfans empowerment. Krissy had a stomach bug Barfin Piggyfronting sticker mishap Smokey Robinson’s “Gasms” It's all about the ‘gasm Finally! We said something funny! Mountain Monsters Go on and git!!!!! If you don't git it, Bryan, git out! THERE’S A MONSTER ON CAMERA It’s low budget, but we’ll take it They didn’t even get attacked That dang bell… Two “verginas” Bryan Green, A Total Perv And that’s on onlyfans empowerment! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   626.ASK.TCB3 text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B. 

My heart is gold, but my vision is platinum. On this episode of the commercial break. Do you actually want me to turn off the lights? I'm not really sure what the, what you're asking me to do here. I tell you what, I'm gonna go have a corn gasm and I'll be right back. Did you know Smokey has a new song? He's really good. It's called Gasm.

You got to check it out, got it? Get him out and do? No, all right. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, and this is the Garen Tour of Gastrointestinal Issues, Kristen Joy-Hodley, welcome back from the Dead Chrissy.

That's Brian. That's to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Are you feeling? Oh, better. Like, 100% better, but man. Wow. I felt like the girl and the exorcist.

She's coming out all in. She's coming out of your ears. I have not been that sick in a long time. I wish. Stomach bugs. Thank God it's the 24-hour kind, but, whoa, I haven't been that sick in a long time. That's crazy.

Like throwing up a number of times in a number of hours, as an adult, that means you're really, really sick. Yeah. Kids can't control it. They just throw up for any reason. But like, you know, when you're a kid, you have too much sugar, you throw up. When you're driving in the car,

and your eyes are twisting all over the place, you throw up. You get excited, you throw up. That was my thing. I always used to get excited about going to theme parks. So my parents, every time we were driving to a theme park, going to Disney World Six Flags, whatever, it was, they would bring a bag

because they knew I was gonna throw up. Yeah. Even before we got there. Which is good, then I didn't throw up on the rides. they knew I was gonna throw up. Yeah. Even before we got there, which is good then I didn't throw up on the rides. Right. But when you throw up that much, yeah.

I saw a video of that happening. Oh. That's like a nightmare. Oh God. Nightmare. I can't take puke. I just can't take it. Let me either and then that's when I, you know,

it makes me sicker than I can. Yes. Yeah. It's a disturbing feeling as an adult to throw up. I mean, you know, when makes me sicker than I do. Yes, yeah. It's a disturbing feeling as an adult to throw up. I mean, you know, when you're drunk, you get the spins and that's like to me as the worst kind of sick, right? But that's a different kind than just like

middle of the day. Yeah, you know, early afternoon. Early afternoon, sober as a goat. Right. Having a banana and then it all goes up. I know, it's crazy. But yeah, because when you're throwing up when you're drunk, at least you're drunk.

Yeah. Right, you got that going for you. So at least you got a good buzz on. Probably too good to buzz, but we've all done it. We've all done it. We've all hugged the porcelain prints. Right. That a long night.

How many times do you think you've slept on the floor in a bathroom? We've slept in the floor on a bathroom. Like the cold, linoleum,leum towel just makes you feel better. Yeah, it felt good. I remember that it was day. Yeah. I don't know.

I've, when I was a big drinker, I just wanted to get home because I felt like the only linoleum that, or tile that I wanted to sleep on was my own tile. Yeah. I didn't want to sleep on anybody else's pissy tile. No. I wanted to sleep on my own pissy tile. Yeah, not somebody else's floor. That's right.

Well, I'm glad you're feeling better. Thank you. You look good. You look good for just having gone through this. Uh, thank you. I know. It got through me and then I burst it up this morning with a big, you know, burst of energy. Probably lost a couple pounds.

Yeah. That's a good news. Everybody says that, but at the time, I was like, I can, I don't care. No. When I went through this about a month and a half ago, I had something very similar. When I went through, I can't remember being that sick as an adult.

I spent two full days in bed, and if you know me, I am kinetic at all times. Like I have to be moving around. I could not get out of bed, did not want to get out of bed. And I would close my eyes, and then, you know, however long it was, 15, 20 minutes, I could just feel it building. Building back out. And I'm just praying to and then you know what a however long it was 15 20 minutes I could just feel it build building back up and I'm just praying to myself don't get sick

Don't get sick. You don't need to be sick like you're okay And you're just fighting with yourself not to do it But then when it comes you better get to that fucking bathroom quick Yeah, so that you you know don't miss the toilet as a door I don't want to clean up my own puke. I'm already cleaning up everybody else's I know I was crying It's okay. It's okay. I was like, geez.

He was like, you look blue. I'm going to put one out of this like, because I can't control this. I know. I think the last time I really thought about it, and the last time I was at sick from like a bug was coming back from Mexico when I was 18. Oh, you got like monosumas again?

Yes. I never been that sick. Yeah. But that's the last time. I really that bad. Geez, man. Well, anyways. Hopefully you got that out of your system and then the next decade you won't experience that anymore.

I only wish that you had told me sooner so that I could have come over with a couple specimen cups and we could have sold your shit. You know what I'm saying? That would have made this whole thing worth it, don't you think? No. No. No.

I was Jeff. What was he up to? He was working. He was wearing nurse crutches. Yeah. He was having to kind of help me, but again, this is happening. It like one in the afternoon. So he's working and I'm just like, something's wrong.

And then something became more and more wrong for the next six hours. I don't know why I see Jeff with like a little like one of the red cross and nerves hats with nothing else on, but like a stethoscope coming in. But there's wing wing swinging. Like, no. You're honey, let me listen to your heart and you're vagina. You knew you don't want to be touched today. When I started sick, I just, I just leave her alone.

I had a friend once and he was like, he was a rather strange guy, but he said to me, oh man, we'd like to, when we get sick, when sex makes me feel so much better. And I'm like, sex makes you feel so much better. Anytime I get to flu, I like to fuck. And I'm like, you like to fuck while you're having to flu? No. Who wants to do that? I don't even want to be touched. I don't

want people looking at me. Yeah, no. I just want to cry. Your hair is everywhere when you don't have that problem. I have to pass everywhere. I know. Just bad breath, the whole thing. Yeah. I just, I found it none of that attractive. Like, no. When I have the flu, all I wanna do is whine and complain and people to leave me alone. I really don't want them to leave me alone, but I tell them to leave me alone. It's like, I'm okay, I'm okay.

Are you one of those people that just tells Jeff you're okay when you're really not okay? No. No, you go right at it. I mean, I don't, why I'm about it, but if I'm not really well, I say it. Well, if you're throwing up six times in a couple of hours, then you're legitimately sick. You see that. Yeah, I get a little not really well, I say well, if you're throwing up six times in a couple of hours Then you're legitimately sick. Yeah, I get a little ache or a pain and I'm like no, no, no, I'm fine

Can you get me some wow Somebody told me the other day at the I have two things to say about the show like show Okay, number one somebody it told me the other day. I think it was Gustavo was in here and he's like, Gustavo, Gustavo. I tried desperately to get this guy in here to do an episode with me and he just refuses to do it. I was wondering how that was going to work out because he was so shy. He was so shy. If you're too sick, maybe Gustavo can come in. Yeah, but he refused.

And I thought that would be great. I know, but I think it would be great. But he refuses. He refuses. And you that would be great. I know, but I think it would be great, but he refuses, he refuses. And you know what, I guess I can understand. Listen, the guy wants to have an actual career out there in the world. He doesn't want to be tied to the commercial break in every way, shape, or form.

So he's actually looking to make a living, not suffer needlessly by doing podcast episodes forever and ever and ever, which was the point when he was asking me like, how many episodes you guys are doing? I'm like 16 a month and he's like you're doing 16 EPM 16 episodes per month. So that was good. I like that one.

I was like, oh, she put another sticker out. Let's just, since we're fraught with bad ideas, there's a good one we can use for a sticker. And then oh, let me tell you this, Astrid got the, she's putting out the 20, the piggy front. Biggie Fronting, yeah. Chrissy, this is the funniest shit you've ever heard. Astrid, so I have been telling people for a month and a half that we have the EP, the 21, piggy fronting stickers will send them out soon.

But what I didn't realize is that Astrid had not yet actually ordered it. I know when we started talking about this, that was like, where are these stickers? I want to see. Well, clear disconnect and discommunication as it is prone to happen here around the house with a dog that never stops barking and three children never stop bothering. And so she sends the stickers off

and they come back and they are the size of a fucking postage. They're the big, they're like one by one. And they are the size of a fucking postage. Stee- There it is, big. They're like one by one. So I'm laying in bed the other day. I was not feeling too good. I'm laying in bed the other day. We should put that on an actual ladder and try and... I think I'm going to.

So let's just put them on the back of the postcard and send them. Let's stick them there and put them on the back of the postcard. She was so upset. She's like, Mother fucker, I ordered them. Like, that's what you get for not using the imperial system. Inch's feet, stop with all that meters and centimeters bullshit. And I think that's what actually happened.

I think she was like, you know, because she grew up meters and centimeters. And so I think she might have just made a mistake or printing mistake or whatever. But it is the funniest thing because you can barely see what's going on. I said, just send about people get a kick out of it. It's certainly not a bumper sticker. Unless, you know, you're going to put them on your micro machines or something like that. You're a hot wheels car. But then the other

funny thing that I thought about the show is we ingested the RSS feed into YouTube. They now do audio only, like they're doing it on their YouTube music. So we got invited to put our RSS feed up there. So we did that. And we invited. Invited, I say invited. We don't get invited to do anything.

It just appeared on our YouTube one time. It's not like, you know, Kai, the director of podcasting over there, picked up the phone and called me. You get an engraved. Yes. Potassium. People do get those, they get like, you know, oneing over there, picked up the phone and called me. You got an engraved. Yes. Potential. People do get those, they get like,

you know, one million subscribers over, you know, 10,000 views on one video. We get good luck. Right. Bestie. I know one of those cheap little $5 trophies, they give it baseball tournaments, you know what I'm saying. It was a, yeah.

People get these really nice plaques from YouTube with their name engraved and they're heavy and they're big and they're all putting, put them behind them on their desk when they're doing their YouTube show. And I always feel so, left out of the whole situation because I mean, we don't have any reason for them to send us a plaque,

but I always feel so left out. So we ingest the feed and then there's like a lot of people that are listening, you know, viewing it or whatever. I say a lot of people in our world, a lot of people, seven. But anyway, they're doing that. And one guy comments on the Corey Feldman breakdown, I think Tina and I did the Corey, did you and I do it or did Tina do it?

I think we did it. Did we? Okay. All right, I can't remember. You might have done it too. I might have done it too. It was all a blur over the last three months. But someone, this is the funniest comment. And I wish I could respond,

I wish I could like reach out to this guy and make him a writer on the show. He was like 27 minutes into this stupid fucking video and the only thing I've realized is that the host of this show is as unfunny as Cory is at singing. I thought to myself, true. That's true. Thank you. Remember how Blair Saki said we should respond to everybody. Thank you.

Yes, thank you. Just no matter what they say. I wanted to say thank you. But if you're listening, which you're probably not, because you were clearly unimpressed by the show, I know that was really fucking funny and contact me and you'll have a job. I don't pay you anything, but you could have a job. You too could have fortune and fame right here at the commercial break. And by fortune, I mean nothing. and by fame. I mean no one listening

It's all coming up right it's all coming up roses here at the commercial break. I You know who smokey Robinson is I do Smokey rob what Pink Oh, yeah Dun dun dun dun dun B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- my musical taste for like the first, you know, seven years of my life. Sure. That fucking song, I hated it. So, there were a lot of the songs that I disliked, but this song, really any time it came on,

I wanted to bang my head against the car window because it just drove me. And there's other smoky robins in songs, I'm sure you're familiar. He is very famous. And he's a Motown guy, right? He's a Motown guy? Yeah. So he's a big part of that Motown movement, I believe. And Smokey has a lot of songs that everybody,

you know, has somewhere in their head. Smokey is still making music. He's still out there making music. That's great. Good for him. Good for him. But I think he might have lost his marbles a little bit. Oh no. A song on an Instagram video.

I wish I could tell you the name of the person who put this out there, but I can't. Somebody put an Instagram, and said, did you know Smokey Robinson's still making music? His new song is called GASMS. GASMS. GASMS. GASMS. Okay. Okay.

So, you know, take that for what it's worth. It's called GASMS. But then I did a little further digging and I listened to the song and I think it's a little bit disturbing if I'm not being. Really? If I'm like not favoring Smokey and all the fortune and fame he's had over his life and the songs that he has blessed us with, this is a little weird. And I'd like you to take a listen to some of it. Okay. Because I'd like to, I'd like you to tell me whether or not you find this just as odd as I do.

Okay. Okay. Here's Smokey Robinson. Is that the cover? What's that? Is that the cover? Yeah, this is from one of the video channels. I mean, he is just, he's had a lot of work done. He's had a ton of work done.

He's going like the Michael Jackson direction. You know what I'm saying? Not quite, but. Not that, yeah. He's known as a of work done. He's going like the Michael Jackson direction. You know what I'm saying? Not quite, but not that. Yeah. His nose is still part of his face, but he's very tight. He's very tall. His eyebrows are very high. Those lips, he must be getting fillers, right? And he's got a little chin worked on, I think. But he looks good. He's got to be in his 80s. Yeah. He's got his 80s. He's got to be in his 80s. So if he is in his 80s, he looks fucking fantastic. He's got a great doctor. The music, all right, let's just,

why don't we listen to a little bit of it, and then I'll tell you the lyrics. You tell me what you think, okay? Ready? Here we go. This is Smokey Robinson Gasms. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

That's that old smoky sound, you know? Yeah, I like that. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. That's that old smoky sound, you know? Yeah, I like that. Just to give listeners a little insight here, this is the kind of music that Chrissy and Jeff are playing at the house all the time. At the nudist resort called HODLY SOUTH. house. I like the long intro and the soft door. Oh here come the horn. You don't hear enough horns and songs anymore. I know.

I love horns. You also don't hear three-minute intros a lot. I guess I'm... When I look at you, it makes me feel better than good And what I see is you and me together forever I'm knocking on wood Every kind of gazing in the book Each I have them Every time I take a look you give me gazing I have gazing

You're the one responsible for my gassums. Gassums, gassums, gassums. Gassums, gassums, gassums. It's gonna be a joke. You're the best to be the favorite of the background singer. You're the gassums, gassums. Give me more gassums. I need more gassums from the back of the...

What in the good following? That's funny. Is he thinking? Ready? I'm gonna tell you the lyrics ready. Okay, I Gazzle when I look at you. It makes me feel better than good and what I see is you and me forever Knock on a wood Gazzles, gazzles, gazzles, gazzles. Chrissy, what is he thinking? What is gasm's not a word that you put in the song? No, well, it's all good. Not when you're 86 years old. I mean, gasm's gasm's gasm.

He references something to about, like as many gasms as there are out there or something. Yeah, he's really only one gasm that I know. I get that that's like a pejorative, not a pejorative word, but like a word that we use, it's kind of funny and interesting. Oh, I'm having an eye gasm because I see someone that's attractive, right? I've never said that. I've never said it in my entire life nor what I say.

Nor do I think the shorthand for orgasm should be gasm. What the? Gasm, gasm, gasm. Sounds like you're having a seizure. Gasm, gasm, gasm. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Each and every time I take a look, you give me gasms. I gasms. You're the response one responsible for my gasms,

gasms, gasms, gasms. Gasms, gasms. Gasms, gasms, gasms, gasms, gasms. That's 12 gasms in a row. Well, content, content, content. That's right. Well, I can't blame the guy for that. Yeah, I don't know who's buying this album, but

Oh, you can deliver any kind of gasm on the list. Any kind of gasm on the list? What kind of gasm? Who's that big smoky right these songs? That's some ill-informed. Sixty-year-old is like, Smoky, I got a winner for you. Gasm's gasm's gasm. Somebody just submitted a song to the website. It's gasm's gasm, gasm. Somebody just submitted a song to the website, it's gasm, gasm, gasm.

We don't have to give him right a credit. I feel like this is, when I first heard this, I thought clearly this was AI, right? Fucking with us in a way. Cause no one sings a song, gasm, gasm, gasm, gasm. Except for Smokey Robinson. And I guess if anybody's gonna pull it off with that silky smooth voice, it would be Smokey Robinson. But I have to

say this one, I think, fell a little short of the mark. And you hear that intro and you're like, oh, yeah, Smokey's coming in hot. He's making some love music here, right? Gasms, gasms, gasms. Well, I'm having a gasim right now. Best to use smokey. I hope you're getting your 21 EPMs in. I know we're getting our 16 EPMs in. Contractually obligated to put those 16 EPMs in. All right, let's take a short break. We're gonna be back. We got to get back to mountain monsters We never finished on mountain. I didn't want people to think that we would forget because that pisses people off It was a really funny one from what I remember. Oh man, it was a good, it was like a click-bady title. We finally got it on camera. Still can't break, yeah.

Right, gotcha. We're like five minutes into 10 minute clip and we still haven't seen it. But we'll see if we can do it. We'll be back. Are you mindlessly scrolling Instagram right now? How about throwing us a follow at the commercial break and also at TCB Podcast on TikTok? Check out our website, TCBpodcast.com to find absolutely everything you could ever want to know about us and if you simply can't stay away, call us and leave us a voice mail at

626-ask-TCB3 or you can text us at 8x5-TCB-8383. While you're contemplating divulging your life dramas to us, have a listen to our sponsors. You know you love me, exo-xo-gossip girl. Hey everybody, want to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Factor? Okay, do you want to know what the single biggest challenge for me as a single person was? Shopping for, prepping and cooking nutritious meals. Do you want to know what the biggest challenge for me as a human with 25 to 60 family members

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Okay, I'm not gonna play the whole song, but listen to this. The sweet and soft or kind, the neighbor hear gasms. If I think about you right now, going to give me more gasms. I gasms, ear gasms, just thinking about you when you're hear gasms, every kind of gasms, ever known to man, I think a few or whatever. Okay, you give me gasms, gasms, gasms, you give me gasms, gasms, gasms. Gasms. I think about it right now, you're going to give me a gasm. gasms, gasms. I think about it. Right now you're gonna give me a gasm. Every little thought, somehow gonna give me a gasm.

You give me those mind gasms. The kind you give me are the kind the hard to find gasms. You give me those gasms when it's early. You give me those gasms late at night. Late gasms, early gasms, gasms, gasms, gasms, gasms. This has got to be a joke. I mean, I wouldn't know who he's talking about. I don't know. They sound amazing.

This, oh yeah, exactly. Who's he married to? What's going on there? Is Smoky married? I mean, I don't know I don't know the first thing about Smoky Robinson to be honest with you. Well, I haven't kept up with him. Well, it's been a hot minute since Smoky was on the radar. You know what I'm saying? But I think this I think he might have a hit on his hands here. Maybe for the wrong reasons, but he's been a minute since Smoky was on the radar, you know what I'm saying? But I think he might have a hit on his hands here, maybe for the wrong reasons, but he's gonna hit. How do you just take the word gasm and just start throwing it around like that? He did it.

I don't know. You think the kids are gonna go shorthand on the gasms now? You're giving me a gasm? This is like a TikTok video going wrong with Smoky. He saw some TikTok video where some kid called it a gasm and he's like, I don't write a song about gasms. That's what I had a song about. Gasms, gasms, gasms, gasms, gasms.

Gasms, how many times can we say gasms in three minutes? He made everything gasms. Late night gasms are defined gasms, neighbors can hear us. Hi, gasms. Hi, gasms, here gasms, here gasms, here gasms. Hi, gasms, here gasms, here gasms. All right, think of more gasms while we do this. We are going to get back to the mountain monsters

that we promised we would from the last episode. The reason why we got into this episode in the first place was because it's a new season and we like to touch base on it. We like to run over same old ground. That's right. I feel like this is our comfort food at the beginning of every season just to get our pump primed. It's our black eyed peas and collard grains at the beginning of the season. What Well said, it's our new season gasm is what it is. So, I found this mountain monster's clip and the clip clearly stated, we caught it on camera, finally or something along those lines, finally caught it on camera or whatever. Finally, after 1600 episodes, just like this stupid show,

we're going to miss say something funny eventually. Finally, we said something funny. Finally, I'm as funny as Corey is bad at singing. But we've watched five of the 10 minutes of the clip, and we have yet to see any pictures that would denote to us that there's an actual monster been caught on camera because Billy just out there running around that camera. All right guys. So without further ado, trolling on the internet as you do as do I do do at gasm and I found a monster. I found a monster gasm on mountain monsters. I think when we left off, yeah, we were right about here, Huck and Buck and fuck. Oh, okay. So if you remember, Huck rang a bell on monster bell.

The beginning of the video, you can go back and listen to the last episode. I'm monster bell. He rang a monster bell. He rang it three times and then what's supposed to happen is the monster's supposed to come out of the cornfield. The same cornfield they've been filming in for 1500 to,600 episodes that they have. They almost shot each other. I mean, there's been so much shit that's gone down. I'm sure in this same cornfield, the corn all looks alike, so I'm not 100% positive,

but I don't see them moving locations too much. You know what I'm saying? It's a different cornfield. Yeah, there's production costs involved in that. I think they just keep it local, if not, I'm saying. So Huck has rang the bell, and now we're about 40 minutes. But in a separate, in a separate instance, at the same time, right? Because Huck's by himself. That's right. In the corn field, ringing the bell. Huck's ringing the bell. And in a separate part of this, one of them,

Huckleberry. Jeff or somebody. Jeff Huckleberry. Yeah. Was up in a a like a shack looking down upon them to see what happened but in the meantime something happened in that chat there was some kind of weird mine altering thing that happened. Mother. Somebody's mother. Oh yeah, I saw he saw the other guys mom killing somebody with blood all over her face or something. So weird.

I mean the writers in this to be a writer on mountain monsters must be so great because you can just do whatever the fuck you want to do. Just say whatever you want to say. Yep. It's kind of like the last season of Westworld. You just say whatever the fuck you want to say. Why not? We're not coming back for season number five.

Okay. Okay. It says nearly 40 minutes since what we're talking about. The part war was that he came out here, no lights, you ring a bell, you know, maybe it was just kids talking. He's got a light on him, by the way. Yeah, by the way, no lights. There's a light shining to the ground. It's a whole fucking camera crew.

Do you actually want me to turn off the lights? I'm not really sure what the, what you're asking me to do here. I tell you what, I'm gonna go have a corn gasm and I'll be right back. Did you know Smokey has a new song? He's really good. He's called Gasm. So you got to check it out, guys. Getting him out and do? No? All right.

Hunter, brother, anything happens or not. Because this, this is torture in itself. A little boy, he had to sit out here in the dark and ring at Bell. What happened was... It's tragic. What little boy is ringing the bell? I don't know. He got killed by the monster?

I guess so. He looks very tired by the way. He looks like he wants to take it out. Wait, but not for 40 minutes. That's a long time for him to be out there. Just rang a bell. Without access to Doritos. Yeah. I'm sorry.

Oh, the bell rang back. Uh-huh. It's fine to get interested. I didn't do that. Hello? Is someone else't do that. Hello? Someone else here? Hello? Do you speak English? Guys, that was me. I got a new I got a new tricycle for my Christmas and I'm just checking it out down at cornfield. Okay, I'll talk to you guys later!

That bell... That bell is right next to the camera. That bell is ringing so loud. I mean, it's a bicycle bell. How far could he be away? Oh my god. The bell's sitting on the ground in front of me. It's right here. Right here. Not of me. It's right here. Right here. Behind me. Oh my god this is too funny.

The bill is right in front of me. And I mean the taco bell Bell we're going to get a double bubble burrito right now 50 cents off your next burrito when you say monsters. There's something here I'm starting to freak out that can't be the little boy. That's my belly I'm so hungry. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's so sweet. That's my butt's tough. That's the other belly. Yeah, that's, that's. That's some wind came alone

Leave me alone. You were calling him. Yeah, you asked him to come and now you're saying leave me alone What the fuck give the guy clear instruction so he knows what to do? Merger you are not murder you that's right I got your my line on I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this Some mountain mountain monster hunter you are You proved yourself to be a NINIgasm that's what you are a car nitty Go away go away go away now you're running

Nothing says to a predator nothing says please leave me alone like running as fast as you can Yeah, like it's a cat. Get! That's a pet hamster. Get! Now go on, get! Why do they always say go on, get? What does that mean?

Go on, get! Get what? Get away, I think. Get away, I think. Can't they just say that in the hole? Go on, get away! Go on, get! Get what? Get me! I'm running fast! Yeah. Can't they just say that in the hole? Don't get away. Go on, get, get what?

Get me, I'm running fast. As fast as a 400 pound mountain monster can. Where'd you go? Hey. Well, you told him to get? Yeah. Where did you go? This is not how people act in these situations.

Where did you go? Where did you go? Get away! Where'd you go? Yeah. you go? Where did you go? Yeah. Some things. Get. Come. Stay. Where are you? Oh, that one second. I can take a break and talk to the camera in this cutaway, but I'll be right back. Now me. I've got to do something. There is a whole production crew. I just want to make you wear. Oh, I'm not supposed to shock right now. Okay, I'm out!

Dude, I'm out the second the bell rings back at me and I did not touch it. You know what I'm saying? I am out, I am running as fast. I am getting, getting, you're getting, I'm getting. I got caught! I don't know where I'm at. I need to get out of here right now. I don't know where I'm at. I need to get out of here right now.

Well, you're in the middle of a pouring field where everything makes the same. Yeah, everything's the same. Oh, wait, hold on. Is that a picture of something? Hold on. Where? Oh, there it is. Yes.

It is literally one frame. Hold on, we got it. Wait, hold on. One second, we got to go back. Just a little bit. There it is. We actually see something on Mountain Monsters that may look like a monster or a woman in a mask that looks like a monster.

And not the good kind of mask. Steven Spielberg would have put on one of his wookies or something like that, a mask you buy at the Halloween store that pops up in the Walmart that's no longer there you know what I'm saying? That's what we're looking at here guys. Oh! You know what? What was that thing?

They're so foamy. It looked like a wolf. I got a wolf. It looks like a wolf. It did look like a wolf. It looked like bad makeup. That's what it looked like. Oh my god And if this woman is intent on hurting everybody then why were you one inch from her and nothing happened? Right am I right about that

I need help I need out here now Well, you have no idea where I am, but I need help out of here right now. Did you try to angularate Walmart walkie talkie and figure out where I am? I'm on the third point. I'm trying to make a break for the field. I don't know where I'm at. I'm lost. Get out of the way here. Don't go. We're on our way, man. We're on our way, man. We don't know which direction we're headed, but we're on our way. Don't you worry? I'm just trying to make him feel good. He's probably gonna die over there That's what you tell somebody when you have no way we're on our way. Don't worry sleep well. You can go

What are you getting? You keep looking towards that corner in case the luck pops out of him. I think I hear the side of the side. We gotta get him, we gotta get that boys. I can hear him. Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get out right at the center. Of course. Yeah. They were right on it. They knew exactly where he was. Listen, these guys are professional. Chris, they are. This is not their first rodeo. No, but this is the only cord field they filming. Oh, I'm not alright.

There's something in there. The rest of the guys just pick me up on the side beside, and I want out of here. I want nothing to do with that cord. I want nothing to do with that old house. I just want to get to my job. I love it that show. I love it that show. I love it that show.

I love it that show. I love it. I love it. I my job. I know that show. I want nothing to do with that cord. Get me to the haunted house where people are having allusions of my mom killing people. Get me there. I don't like the Halloween mask lady. I want to go over here with the fake haunting. Only Toledo, dude. haunting. Only Toledo, dude. It's not a night. The scene bugged him and Hux shook a plate of art. Not near there, many dee. Yeah!

That guy that yells. I can't understand the fucking word he says. I really can't. It's not good. All right, dude. What the hell did they see? I knew that I was taking a chance. I didn't know I was taking a chance like that.

I never went. I went in there. I didn't know I was taking a chance like that. I've never went I went in there. What? You brushed past a Halloween man. Yeah, you brushed past a a scarecrow essentially. You're in a cornfield. What did you expect? You didn't think they put a scarecrow somewhere in the field? I mean, let's be honest about it. The scariest thing about that was the was you run it. I mean, that's it. I thought you were gonna have a heart attack. Point, I finally worked up the courage and turned my light out. I grabbed that bell, I started running it.

Never has a bicycle bell look so intimidating. No. Black and white. No black and white. Ding and white. Black and white. Ding! Ding! Ding! The whole camera shakes.

Ding! Man, I wish I'd have never done that. What happened? I heard that bell ring. Nothing really. Yeah, nothing. What happened? Absolutely nothing.

If I had known that, I'd never have gone in there. Now get. And the bell was still between my feet. What happened? Well, absolutely nothing if I had known that I never would have gone in there now get And the bell was still between my feet the bell sitting on the ground in front of me The bell never left the ground like I'm hearing it all the way around me. I Start working through. Did you ever think about the possibility might be another bell here in this town? Yeah I decided I'd had enough. I was getting out. I don't know where I'm at.

I need to get out of here right now. I was turned around. And there it was. I'm pretty much captured. I know, they're all right. This is clearly the most boring monster story I have ever heard. You thought you heard something. You I have ever heard. You thought you heard something, you might have seen something,

and then you made a break for it. You told it to get and it did not get. It came. I've never seen anything like it. I have, at every Halloween store I've ever been to. Sometimes not even during Halloween time. Like I'll go to Walmart and see those masks. And I'm like, wow, that would be scary,

if it wasn't so fake. That was one of the most awful things I've ever been through. Was it a while? I don't know what it was. Well, it's not bring up the girl from the bar last night. It's not her name. Let's call her by her name. It's Nancy. Okay. All right. This is not lower in bobert in the movie theater. This was a scary lady. Whatever I say, it was evil.

Well, I love those breathy notes as they put it there. What about what's the other guy just on? I don't know. I guess the other guy who's been tripping on acid for four hours. So bloody mother's killing people that had we forgot about it. Yeah, no, this clearly takes

precedent. I don't want to see it again. Well, don't go out and ring the bell. Look at them all shaking their head as if they're disappointed. Well, I thought we were going to catch her. But you just shut your pants and ran away. I think you got an undelivered package if you know what I'm saying. You might want to head to the shower in the production trailer. What happened at that house? That was too tight down. That stuff Billy has been giving us is really turning on us.

We got upstairs there to where this little closet is. I told Jeff I'm going there and sit down. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, That's not a closet Girl it's like it's like when there's a little miniature doors that open into the attic. Yes That is a place where children close But I mean like real small children it is a three by three box in a house with a wooden door I'm just gonna go sit in this. I'm just gonna go sit in this scary cornfield. Come on, sit. And he cleans the door of himself. Ah.

Ah. There's just so funny. These guys are so funny. I'm just gonna go voluntarily sit in this haunted murderous cornfield, the house that sits in the middle of the haunted murderous cornfield inside upstairs in a tiny little box by myself I was gonna get sit out for a minute. Don't bother me till I start screaming Well, this is this seals it. I'm never gonna be a mountain monster hunter because I don't know about sitting to cause it's that small Then he's too kid show up. What? Two kids.

I tell those kids say in the car, God dammit, God dammit kids. You're ruining my professional career. That's mountain monsters. Second key grip. I'm having one hell of a time taking all this in. It was pitch black, but yet I could see these kids just plain as day. How did you go to a dark, tiny dark closet? Chrissy, there are some things that maybe just shouldn't be answered. I'm gonna go take a look. I've been standing around all day. I've been standing around. I was sitting in this tiny little closet.

I'm going to go sit in this bloodstained closet over here. Really dark. Yes, with these small child ghosts. And we're going to sing songs together. Nothing puts me to sleep like a murderous monster in a tiny closet in the middle of a cornfield. All right, well, we promised we would do it and we did it and paid off to be fair to the mountain monsters. They did finally catch something on camera. They were like, we got to give them something. Yeah, I

know after 13 seasons, we got to show them something. They must have gone way over budget on this one. That mask is what, 13, $14 if you get a good kind. Not on discount, you know what I'm saying? All right, let's take a break, we'll be back. Are you mindlessly scrolling Instagram right now? How about throwing us a follow at the commercial break and also at TCB Podcast on TikTok? Check out our website TCBpodcast.com to find absolutely everything you could ever want to know about us and if you simply can't stay away, call us and leave

us a voicemail at 626-ask-TCB3 or you can text us at 855-TCB-8383. While you're contemplating divulging your life dramas to us, have a listen to our sponsors. You know you love me. Exo, exo, gossip girl. All right. How funny are those guys? I mean, I just love it.

I really do. I know. It's so fun. It's so entertaining. I wanted to ask you about something. Okay. If I told you that it was possible that a woman could have two vaginas, would you believe that?

Yes. Of course. There's all different combinations in this. Yes. I don't exactly know how all the body works, but there could be two vaginas. Virginas, nice to say, Virginas, What am I doing?

You're mountain monster. Yeah. Hey, the woman with two verginas caught me in the corn field. The scariest thing I've ever seen. It was the wild woman. It was the wild woman. Nancy of the bar. She got two verginas and likes to wear a mask in the corn field.

I'd scare you with one and fuck you with the other. There is a woman on Instagram and only fans model who has two vergiadas. And she says she uses one for her modeling and then one to pleasure her boyfriend, right? So I thought that this was a very interesting thing that someone would have two vergiadas, but of course, you know, it's probably possible.

Anything's possible. Anything's possible. But I was thinking to myself, wow, that's so weird. Like what a strange confluence of DNA came together to give her two vaginas. That must be like a one in a cabillion thing. But is that like, is it two actual functioning vaginas or vulvas, or is it like when you,

someone's born with like a little tiny extra thumb? And it has to be remade. Like an extra thumb on our vagina? You know, like a little, like a little nub. Listen, I can't afford her only fans and my wife would kill me anyway. So I don't actually know if it's actual like two vulvas sitting on top of each other and next to each other

or if it's just two holes, right? If there's like an additional hole. But here's not the point of the story. It's not getting all the graphic details because I don't know and I'm not gonna go looking. I'm not that interested. She's an only fan's model. She's an attractive woman. I'll tell you that much. So she probably makes good money. And you know, there's a lot of people out there that I'm sure are interested in seeing the anatomy. So that's probably how she makes a lot of money

on top of being an attractive woman and being on only fans. Then she has this, you know, really unique feature about. Well, you do have to stand out. You do. But I thought this has got to be a one in a billion thing. It's like being born with two penises. How often does that happen? It might happen every once in a blue moon,

but it probably only happens once in a generation. It's my thought, that's what I was thinking. But no, Chrissy, she is not even the only only fans model that has two vaginas. There are multiple women on only fans who claim to have two vaginas. And I just find this to be so like fascinating and the question remains, and again,

I'm not gonna dig this far deep into it because I'm not that interested. But... You seem very interested. I have to do some of this to keep Astrid, like, you know, she listens to the show a lot, and she edits and stuff, so I have to keep it secret that I really want to check this out, you know what I'm saying? Like I'm just maneuvering around to make sure that Astrid is satisfied, that I'm not being a total perv, even though I'm a maneuvering around to make sure that Astrid is satisfied that I'm not being a total purve

Even though I'm a total purve So the question is she said she uses one vagina for only fans and one vagina for her boyfriend How exactly does that happen? How do you only use one vagina for only fans? You would imagine if you're shooting a camera in that direction You're going to catch both vaginas in some form or fashion. Again, I don't know what the anatomy of all this is. Like, I don't know exactly how the TikTok works, but I am the TikTok on TikTok.

But I am, you know, just a little, oh, here. Okay. Ready? Let me. I was going to say maybe you should Google it. I just... I had a link and it wasn't working, but... I'm surprised. But now...

But now I found it. So give me just a second and... You know, we'll just... D- of it. Okay, that's interesting. All right, so you want me to describe it for you? Um, sure. Okay, one vulva, two holes side by side. Hello. Okay, that's how it is. I have two vaginas, one for my work, one for my husband.

A woman born with two vaginas has embraced her rare condition and become a popular content creator on OnlyFans, saying she is using one of her organs for work and the other one for play. Evelyn Miller 31 was first diagnosed with uterus, didlelyphus? It didlelyphus. That's kind of a weird name for her condition of two vaginas. In 2011, after a gynecologist noticed a physical irregularity during an examination at the women's clinic.

Miller's condition, which affects about one in every 2000 women, that is crazy. That's very frequent, right? According to the Scientific American Journal, means that she has a double uterus, two sets of ovaries, and two vaginas. As a teenager, the Australian noticed that something was wrong with her nether region because her boyfriend's penis kept getting, kept hitting a wall when they tried to have sex. I avoided sex for so long after that, she explained.

Guys just didn't know what they were doing and they'd end up slamming their penis against my urethra. I felt so much anxiety around sex. I only lived with my dad at the time so I didn't have anyone I could talk to about this privately. Google was out of the question. I lived on a remote farm, literally we only had dial up. So I couldn't look up my symptoms on the internet.

After the 2011 diagnosis, Miller started to slowly accept her condition and later met her husband Tom. She says that she didn't publicly share that she had a uterus, ditto lyfus, until she started her only fans account in 2018 with the support of her spouse. Only fans has helped me to finally embrace my condition, creating content and having people

complexly fascinated by my condition is really great for me. I was always curious about sex work and sometimes other men are involved too. I don't feel like it's cheating. I've only got one vagina for work and one vagina for play. The content creator currently makes an incredible $14 to $1500 a week via the subscription site saying the raunchy venture is a massive payoff. People are really curious. They love the fact that I've got two vaginas. It sounds so bad to say it, but it feels incredibly validating. Miller claimed only fans as also giving her a platform to raise awareness about this

condition. I get so many women messaging me who have the worst time with it. Some are completely unable to have children, which is heartbreaking. Fortunately for Miller, she was able to conceive in her right uterus and now has two children. There was always a risk I could be pregnant with two babies at the same time. When I was pregnant with one, we'd still have to use a condom and have sex with the other vagina.

Wow, this is super fascinating. Yeah, look at only fans. Yeah. Providing good for the world. You know, we used to call it lonely fans, right, during the pandemic. And pandemic, yeah. But I think I've come around to the understanding

that only fans really is a platform that where people who are in who want to get into that type of work or who need extra money or who just want to feel better about themselves. They want to connect with other people who find them attractive or whatever the reason is. So there's a million reasons under the sun why someone does something. But I'm starting to think that only fans is kind of a place where it's like the second sexual revolution, right? In my opinion, we're going through the second sexual revolution. Now, unfortunately, not many people are having sex these days,

but there's a different kind of sexual revolution going on. And that is that you can be feel empowered no matter how you look, what you do. You have two vaginas, one vagina, two penis, one penis, any of that other stuff. You feel empowered and you feel like you fit in because you connect with one in 2,000 women have this condition.

That is a maze balls. That's quite frequent. I mean, think about it. There's a hospital here that does like 200 bursts a day or 300 bursts a day. That means every 10 days, I mean, I'm assuming they're female, right? Every 10 to 20 days, they're having a baby that has two vaginas. If you are...

Well, maybe not that specific hospital, but I think throughout the world. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm just playing the numbers game. Yeah, that hospital is where the two vaginas live. If you're born in that hospital, you're likely to have two vaginas. But the, the, the, like the common nature of this, and probably the embarrassment that goes along with it, and then you have a place where you can connect with people, educate them, turn them on, have a little fun with it, and make fucking loot.

Amen. I wish I was born with something, you know, two penises, three testicles. I don't know. I was so surprised to hear that this woman was on only fans and that this condition exist. And then on top of that, that there are many other, that there are multiple only fans models that do the same thing. And then there are many, many other people that have this condition.

It's amazing. It's amazing. Do is amazing. Amazing. Do you have two vaginas, Chris? Yeah. Feel free to come clean on the show. I don't. You don't. But best to the people that do.

Hey, man, makes me wonder. Now, I am like just shy of 2,000 lovers. It makes me wonder if I've ever been with a woman with two vaginas. And when I say just shy, it's like 1,997 people away and I'm still young. So close. I still got time. As long as I can take that for the rest of my life. I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to be back.

I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to be back. I'm so glad to be back. about this one, but in some countries, it's available for you. All right. I'm so glad to have you back. I'm so glad to be back. So glad to be back in studio.

Rosebud Baker is our guest next Tuesday. You don't want to miss Rosebud. She is the granddaughter of James Baker, the former secretary of state under George Bush, and she's a comedian. And she is one of the funniest comedians. She is like, listen to the episode. You gotta listen to the episode. You'll get the whole thing, but she is so dark and funny and she was so great with us.

She's gonna be that episode airing on Tuesday. We're super excited about that. Lots more stuff to come on season number five. You're gonna be excited. I trust me. Thank you to everyone who's out there listening faithfully to the commercial break, even though we put out more episodes

and we know what to do with, we really appreciate it. Now contractually obligated to do all of these episodes. So, you know, they'll keep coming at you. What you do with them is your business. The EPMs will just keep coming. 16 EPMs, baby. Those EPMs keep coming. But we would love it if you would hit the subscribe

or the follow button on your favorite podcast player. So you get the new episodes downloaded into there, especially if you're an Apple listener. You got to follow. You got to follow. You got to follow, guys. And then if you want to leave us a review or a comment on our YouTube channel like that guy did,

when he said that I was as unfunny as Cory was bad as singing. And I agree with that, by the way, listen. You try and do 300 hours of the commercial break a month and be funny every time. It's really hard. Yes. So get your 16 EPMs in by following and subscribing. Get your 21 EPMs in by, you know,

going to only fans in finding this young lady with the two vaginas. I promise you, it's going to be enlightening, either way. Uh, tcbpodcast.com, that's where you go to find more information about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location. You can also now get your picky-fronting sticker. You'll need a magnifying glass to see it, but it'll be funny when it shows up. So go hit the contact us button, drop down menu, I want my sticker, give us your address, we'll send it off to you.

626, ask TCB, the number three, that's 626, ask TCB, the number three questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, youtube.com slash the commercial break at the commercial break on Instagram and tcb podcast on TikTok. Look, I got it all in. Are you proud of me? Yes, okay, that's all I can do for today, Chrissy. I think so. But I love you. I love you.

And best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I do say we will say and we must say goodbye Yeah boy! you