The Commercial Break - Olympics Awe!

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

Episode #575: We are simply flipping out for The Olympics this year (sorry), but we will not stand for creepy underwater filming! The Olympics are in full swing! Fencing is for hotties The boner The Opening Ceremonies Celine Dion :’) Parisian food Snoop Treading water Say no to underwater filming TCB Live Shows: Orlando and Miami Some very informative music No detail too small TEXT OR VOICEMAIL:  [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram TikTok YouTube VISIT OUR WEBSITE:  https://tcbpodcast.com/ CREDITS: Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I like cake. Give me cake! Give me cake! I want some cake. On this episode of the commercial break. No one breaks up with me. No one ever breaks up with me except for you because you're my only girlfriend ever. I went to McDonald's today, drove through the drove through and ordered number two. I asked for extra barbecue sauce but the lady forgot to put it in.

So I went around again. I turned down the music in case you couldn't hear me. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, catch it kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my RBL to my Keltoni. Kristen Joy, best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian.

I'm poking you along. I'm poking you along. I know what that is. I know what that is. Very excited to have you back. Thank you for joining us, everybody. I wanted to say a quick hello and a quick note to one of our dear listeners Allison I don't want to say her last name I know her last name, but I don't want to say it because I don't know if she wants everybody knows

She was a commercial break, but she's so sweet and she's been writing us for a while now She works. I think I told you about this young lady. She works in a factory Did I tell you about this work? Okay She works in a factory and she listens to the commercial break while she's making the widgets or whatever is going on. And her bosses are not the nicest people in the world, according to her, not the nicest people in the world, and it really kind of gets her down sometimes. But she listens to the show and then it brings her back up and she was like, I, you know, sometimes I just feel like, you know, nothing's going on in life, but I'm glad I have YouTube because you're my friends and I get to listen to you and all this other stuff.

And I was like, oh, that's a very sweet text message that she wrote. It sounded like she was a little down and outs about the job. And I explained to her that everybody, big or small, soon or far away, has some kind of purpose, right? We all have some kind of purpose, and it's not to make widgets. Maybe it's to tell the show that you like how good of a job that they're doing,

so they keep on doing it, right? That's right. And I was like, so maybe that is your purpose, right? And we said, god damn that we do. We don't get it from our spouses. That's right. And so I just wanted to say, but the great part of the text message,

it had nothing to do with all the niceties that we were, pleasantries that we were exchanging, but that she goes home and tells her boyfriend what they have to watch based on my opinions of television. Oh, Lord. So I had to write a text. So I saw this text message the other night when I was here in the studio and I was like,

I gotta write her back and then I gotta apologize to her poor fucking boyfriend. I was gonna say. I don't know. Who's watching My 600 Found Life and the Seven Little Johnstons on repeat. Whatever, the other way, this way, that way. 90 day the other way, 90 day the other way.

Sideways. But here's the good news for everybody involved. The Olympics are on, so at least for the next couple of weeks, we don't have to listen to Brian O'Pine about any of that stuff because it's on 24 hours, seven days a week, because I love the fucking Olympics. I don't know, it's just something exciting about all the international sport and thinking about

what a history they have, and I know it's corrupted shit and it's all bullshit and it's just a big money maker. But for the athletes, it's a real thing. No, yeah, they train all their lives for this. They do, and there's always great stories. And you know, NBC, who's had the Olympics forever and ever and will have it forever and ever, does a good job of bringing out those stories

with Olympians and athletes that you would never otherwise know a fuck about. I mean, you just wouldn't. Who watches, we're watching, badminton is on in the background right now. Who the fuck watches professional badminton? No one. I enjoyed the fencing.

I was watching the fencing. Did you watch it today? I didn't watch it today, but I watched it whatever, yesterday or Saturday. And it was crazy too with the masks, with the flags. And it's all electronic. They all like, you know, the ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. So I was watching the quarter finals today

and I do have to say, I think fencing is a sport for hot women. Did you notice that all the women were really gorgeous? Yeah. And I thought to myself, wow. I thought I was good with my sword. They're good with their swords. Speaking of swords in the Olympics,

did you see that one of the divers had a big old boner? he was, oh, it's all over the internet. Oh my God. He's a French Olympian. His name is, I'm going to get it wrong, Jules Boyer. Jules Boyer had a Jules Bonnet. Look at that. He had a full chub. That's full chub right there. And you know, those divers, they don't wear any clothing. They wear... You know how I have a hope? Maybe that's just the way he is endowed. That's the way he's endowed? I don't know. No, that's a boner. That's definitely a boner. That's one of those boners you tuck up, you know what I'm saying? Try and give it the illusion that it's actually not a boner. How did you have the boner with the swimming when you're about to get in the cold pool? I don't know. Or is that when he got out of the pool or before he went in? I'm not really sure. I didn't see it live. I'm just checking in the cold pool. Or is that when he got out of the pool or before he went in?

I'm not really sure. I didn't see him live. I'm just checking out the pictures online. Well, maybe he is well endowed. Look at that. Look at those two swimmers. They are both have the biggest dicks I've ever seen in my entire life.

That's why I don't wear swimsuits like that. Well, also they have 28 packs and I've got a one pack. Got a one pack. I got a 12 pack. Got a one pack. I got a 12 pack, 12 pack of fucking cream and cereal. Now that dude has a bone, that's a full bonair. That's what that is. Boyer has a bonair. Good for him.

Good for him feeling confident enough to get out there and rock it. Hey, listen. He has high T. He has very high T. He's also probably 19 years old. And you know that they're just dicking down in that Olympic village. Let's talk about the opening ceremony. Did you know that they're just dicking down in that Olympic village.

Let's talk about the opening ceremony. Did you watch it? I did watch that. Yes. Four and a half hours of absolute madness. I do not understand half of what fucking went on. I have no clue. You've probably seen it because it was one of the most watched opening ceremonies of all of the modern times. Let's put it that way, of the modern times. So, last time that we had a Summer Olympics, it was in Tokyo. Yeah, 2021. 2021, because of COVID. And it was poorly watched, like only 17 million people watched the opening ceremonies, which is oftentimes a bellwether of how the rest of the Olympics are going to do. This time, almost 30 million people tuned in.

So, you know, little less than double tuned in to the opening ceremonies. And thank God, because it was the most bat shit crazy opening Olympics, opening ceremonies of all time. I loved every minute of it. I did too. I liked the boat parade. It was different.

Cause you know, I mean, that's the thing too. Like every time, this is the first time it was held not in a stadium. So that's the thing. Every Olympic time you're like, okay, I hear they're marching everybody out. And they're kind of doing their dance. They have their flags. They have the flag.

Yeah. It is very boring. It is. There's no way to make a good story out of that. It's just like, I'm not all the Americans. And then they have like, they point out individual athletes, but everyone riding down on the boat. I thought that was fun.

Pouring down rain. And they have the dancing and all the dancers. All on the boat. I thought that was fun. Pouring down rain. And they have the Dancy and all the dancers. All over the city. Lady Gaga was great and Celine Dion at the end. Okay, so let's talk about it. Let's go through it a little bit because I wrote a bunch of notes down here. Snoop Dogg showed up. I mean, I loved it. Okay, I'm a little over Snoop Dogg already. At first I was like, why? But then I loved it. I was like, he's just, he's fun, he's a fun guy.

He is, no doubt about it. NBC is paying him to be there, by the way. He is. Well, of course, yeah. They're paying him to be there, and he's just like, he's like a, I don't know, he's like a ghost that just shows up. He's floating around, yeah. He is.

He's watching the gymnastics, and all of a sudden he's at the fencing, and he's over here. They must have like a helicopter just moving him from place to place. He's living the fucking life. I know. And he's not really doing anything, anything except giving high fives to parents of children that are inside of the Olympics, which is cool, I guess.

It's good work if you can get it. This is a celebrity filled Olympics. Of course it's going to be. It's Paris. Yeah. So they were showing, NBC was showing all the restaurants along the Truncadero, they had, you know, famous people, Elon Musk and Tom Hanks and Tom Cruise and Lady Gaga, everybody, anybody who was anybody was at the Olympics. And I thought that was great. Like, I'm like, okay, all right, there's

some celebrity power, star power showing up. Tom Cruise. Yeah, Beyonce, John Legend, Chrissy Teigen. I do have to say this about Tom Cruise. Well, I think we, we have bashed on him a lot in this show and that's because of his personal beliefs, not necessarily. And I don't, I've never met him by all accounts. He seems like a pretty nice guy. He does seem like a nice guy. He is like shaking hands with people on the street.

He's exchanging Taylor Swift bracelets with people. He's taking pictures with old Chinese ladies. Like this guy is, seems like just a nice guy. Yeah, because Elon Musk ain't doing that. I guarantee that he's not doing that. And so you got to give it to Tom. He's a man of the people, I suppose. Maybe he should be our president. All right. Let's talk. The music was good at some points, but there was moments where it got a little en vengant for me, at least I didn't understand exactly what was going on with the music.

This went on for four and a half hours, by the way. This wasn't like a one hour production. This was four and a half hours. All over the streets of Paris, it started off with this weird music and the whole theme was, there was somebody who was carrying the Olympic torch and couldn't make his way through the crowd, so he handed it to some children. Those children then went into the sewers of Paris. Right, the catacombs? Well, yeah, they did stop by the catacombs at some point too, where millions,

Astrid and I have been there, on Halloween night, by the way. Oh, nice. Yeah, so it's kind of interesting. I like that. That's something I would do. You go down hundreds and hundreds of feet, and then there are millions and millions That's something I would do. Jared S skulls, and they're not, they look pretend, but they're not pretend. They're actual skulls, actual human beings. And in some places, just piles and piles of bones. Wow. It's really creepy, but interesting and cool. And you're in this little tiny cave and it's anyway. So they go down to the catacombs and they make their way to the sewers of Paris

or the tunnels of Paris. And then all of a sudden, like the Phantom of the Opera is playing, but there's this faceless mask lady that's taking, now taking the torch in a riverboat in the sewers. And then she's floating down the river to the river scene, you know, the river Seine, and then she's jumping all over the roofs of Paris. It was a little hard. It was non congruent. It was hard to follow, but I get it. There's a lady with a mask who's got the torch and she also does really cool handstands and flips. Okay, awesome. Is that the fans of the opera? I'm not really sure. Early on in the show, by the way, I just want to say this about the River Sin. The River Sin, the day before the Olympics started, was not

cleared for Olympic activities because the levels of E. coli were very high. So this is- Well, weren't a bunch of people shitting in it or something? They were shitting in it and throwing shit in it, like buckets of shit upstream so it would float down into Paris because they were protesting whatever. But protesting is a way of life in Paris. Like people, it's just something that they do there, you know? It's, I don't know, it's like a pastime. Here, when we protest, all hell breaks loose. But there it's like, you know, we're going to shit in the river Sin because we don't, because the River Sin is too dirty. It doesn't make any fucking sense.

Yeah, I know. It doesn't. So, shortly after the Olympians start coming down the shit-filled River of Sin, Lady Gaga appears out of nowhere, walking down a stairway near the River Sin. And she does this really strange, but very cool, I don't know what- The can-can. The can-can. Kind of, the can-can stuff. And she's singing a song that she's obviously not singing, but she's, you know, jumping around and dancing around with feather boas

and feathers in her hand. First surprise of the night. Second surprise of the night is about half an hour later. You got to understand, they're interspersing these these pre-made productions, right? Like movies almost, those vignettes, if you will. And I even used a French word there. That was amazing, Brian. Good for you. Good job. One of the vignettes starts with this sexy French music, you know, and there's people sitting in a library, one of the famous libraries there, beautiful architecture, beautiful architecture, beautiful library, and they're kind of dressed-

Oh, I love old libraries. I know. And the ones in Paris are just stunning. And their makeup is like clown-like. They're almost like mimes or clowns or something. There's one woman, two men. The men are like flirting with each other in some weird mime-like way. Then they start pulling books from the shelf.

It's like, dangerous liaison, you know, attitude, sexette, like, you know, books about sex. Even if you don't speak French, you didn't have to, you got it, this was all about sex. And at the end of this vignette, they start dancing through the hallways and ripping up books and throwing the pages down this big stairwell. And then at the end, they end up in an apartment making out with each other. And it just as they're about to like really heavily get it on that one of the clowns mimes or whatever they are goes, Oh no, no. And then, you know, shuts the door on them.

So you have your first official threesome in an opening ceremony. I like it. Of which the conservative media in America went apeshit. Of course they did. It's fucking Paris. I know they're known for sex. Romance and sex is part of the gig.

You didn't think they would go an entire opening ceremony without showing you a boner, did you? Come on, guys, get it together. Okay, so we go from there to the most, I think, most incredible part of this, which is Marie Antoinette, two ladies holding their own heads in their hands, which was a cool visual, like a practical effect that they did.

And these ladies were singing, but they weren't singing, they were singing like an opera song, but behind it was heavy metal rock music. So it's like a castle-ish type thing on the River Sin, and all of the sudden, out of the windows, come like a very loud, BWAH-OW! BWAH-OW!

BWAH-OW! BWAH-OW! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! It's like this opera music, but it's being played by this like heavy metal band, and they're like the drummers hanging out of a balcony, and the other guy's hanging off the building, playing his guitar. It was the coolest fucking thing I've ever seen. Fire, fireworks, you know, lights, magic tricks. It was, I don't even know. You have to go watch

it. If you haven't seen it, what are you doing? Go watch, it's worth the four hour watch. I'm telling you right now, it's awesome. So we've got Headless Dan dancers. Then let's get to the part, let's fast forward. There's like all these different, let me tell you this about it. They're different dance numbers. There are different routines all over the city. They had never been practiced, not once. This was, I mean, not once where they were supposed to be. In order to keep everything such a secret, the French Olympic officials decided we should

practice this in secret. We'll know where we're going to be, but we can't practice there because then people will get pictures of it and they'll start putting it together. We really want this to be a surprise. You could have practiced this 3000 fucking times in the middle of the streets and it still would have been a surprise. It was the most, honestly, the most looney-tuned thing I've ever seen. There was the French rapper, which I enjoyed. Oh, the French rapper. Yes. And then the French- The piano, there was the whole piano thing.

They did a piano interlude on the Lovelock Bridge. And then there was the French Beyonce, which is who came out and sang at the, where was it, the Palace of Versailles or something like that. That was incredible. I thought that was a very beautiful song. And then we started getting toward the end. And when we get toward the end, the last thing to be done in an Olympic ceremony is to light the fucking torch. That's what you do. It took forever for the torch to get there.

I mean, it took the longest time. But the weirdest thing happened is that all of the sudden, the lady with the black mask on, who you never saw one glimpse of her face at all, she takes the torch and then she lights it on with another person who's dressed like a sexy robot lady, I don't know, she's all in silver, and she's on a horse. And then all of this, so there's a vignette where she lights it and then the horse is running and then all of a sudden the horse is now a robot also in the water and

they have this practical effect where it seems like it's on a self-propelled little boat or something. And the horse, the horse is the size of an actual horse, like a Clydesdale, and it's like mimicking the gallop through the river and the lady is on top of it holding the flag and the torch and just riding down the river for 30 fucking minutes. It goes on forever. The people who were doing the commentating, which was Kelly Clarkson, Peyton Mahon, and who's that guy who they always have doing everything on the sports, can't think of his name, but- It was like Al Michaels or something? Not Al Michaels.

I know what you're saying. He was in the middle. He was in the middle. He's great. You know him, but you never know his name because he's, you just hear his voice, right? But he was, you know, he's that great like guy who's never going to say anything offensive. He's, he knows how to handle himself. Kelly Clarkson is going apeshit. She doesn't know what to say. Everything's awesome. Everything's wonderful. It's pouring down rain half the time, by the way. She keeps on saying how wonderful it is. it's raining. I think that was like the, that's what she led to the commentary until, let me get to this. So that horse goes down that river for 30 fucking minutes. Music is building, music is building. They have these, showing these clips of old Olympics at such

a fast paced style. You would have to press the pause button to see any one particular thing that was going on. Interspersed with this person just riding on this horse down the river, down the river, down the river, and then without any explanation whatsoever, no explanation. The horse is no longer there and now the horse from the beginning, the real horse with the lady on top of it, is riding up the trucadero with the Eiffel tower behind it. It took at least 17 and a half fucking minutes for that horse to ride up and light that damn torch, to which it wasn't even really a torch, it was a hot air balloon.

I don't get it, but I love it. I don't have to get it. I love that, that was a super cool look. Yes. I don't care. I don't care, Chrissy. I loved every minute of it. I didn't too.

I thought it was the weirdest shit I've ever seen in my entire life. It certainly is the weirdest Olympic related thing. Something different. Yes. But let's talk about the like the coup de grace. The thing that just puts the icing on top of the cake is they cut after the Olympic torches lit and after everybody has settled down and we're four and a half hours in and it's pouring down rain still and now it's nighttime and Paris is the city of lights at night

and the Eiffel Tower is lit up beautifully with the Olympic rings on it and all that other stuff. They, you hear the unmistakable voice that we've all heard a million times before and that is the voice of Celine Dion and they cut to her on top of the restaurant, standing on top of the restaurant in the middle of the Eiffel Tower. So this is probably 40 stories in the air. And she is literally standing on a platform on top of that restaurant and she is singing with her famous pianist. I can't remember that guy's name. He was the judge on Britain's Got Talent or whatever. I thought it was David Foster. David Foster. It was David Foster. Yeah, that's who he is. Yeah. He's like her famous writing partner. He's also a major, he's won like 16 Grammys and he's a major producer.

She sings this song in French and she sings it with such gusto. Now there's a lot of discussion about whether or not it was live or it's lip sync. My opinion was it was lip syncs, but I don't give a shit what doesn't matter. It's just the fact that she sang it at all, anywhere, at any time, in a studio, outside of a studio,

with the current condition that she has. And then got up and stood up there for the seven and a half minutes it took to sing the song or whatever it was. It's an amazing feat. I know, it brought chills. Oh, it brought chills. It brought tears. I was floored. I was floored that she had the gumption, that she had the strength, that the producers had the forethought to think of Celine and to allow her to do this and to sing in front of everybody. And it was an unmistakably beautiful moment.

It was the icing we'd all been waiting in a sea of unreal, crazy, misunderstood, not congruent, absolutely sideways bullshit that I loved, by the way. A moment of clarity was Celine Dion singing a song with all of her might that she otherwise probably wouldn't have been able to do in front of any crowd because she's so sick. And she sang that song maybe for the last time in front of a live crowd, sang a song and it was gorgeous. And the moment, if, maybe for the last time in front of a live crowd, sang a song and it was gorgeous. And the moment, if you watched it, the moment could not have eluded you. Like you were like, holy shit, love her, hate her, don't like her, you know,

whatever, it doesn't matter. You can understand like the human component of this. And it was just unbelievable. I went on Reddit, like a version of Reddit afterwards, a couple hours after this happened, live. And- Jared, I mean, like Reddit or a thread on Reddit? No, no, it's not Reddit, but it's like a Reddit, but it's in Europe, right? I don't want to give the name because whatever. Anyway, there were people, like hundreds and hundreds of people who had been there, who

had seen, who saw it live from some portion. There were like speakers all over the city and, you know, she was singing it and they had video screens at places. And everyone to a person said that they were with a crowd, in a crowd, by a crowd, for a crowd, with a crowd, whatever it was. Everybody in the entire city was crying. It was crying. Was crying. Because it was like, wow, that's amazing. That's pretty fucking cool. And then the fireworks go off and the fucking Eiffel tower lights up. I don't care what you think about the Olympics. That, that Olympic opening ceremonies was probably the most entertaining

thing I've seen in a long time. And I can only hope now I know we're going to LA in two, 2028, and I'm sure we're going to take a shit on the bed, but I can only hope that they get as bitch at crazy as out of the box as incredible. Do something different. Make it your own. Absolutely, Chrissy. What are they going to do? Maybe Hollywood, something with old Hollywood and Hollywood sign and maybe just different things that are iconic to LA. Godzilla. I want Godzilla to come out of the ocean and crush Santa Monica and walk into the Olympic Stadium and take his breath and go, wow. And light the torch. That's what I want. Nothing less will do. You have to top yourself. Listen, we all watched China do the opening

ceremonies in 2008 or whenever that was. That was, everyone was like, Holy shit, that's incredible. And then 2012, I don't know who it was. Who was it in 2012? Who cares? Don't remember. And then, uh, Tokyo, cool. Cool. Wasn't it like Brazil? Was it Brazil? Oh, it was the games in Rio. The Rio. Yeah. Was it 2016?

It might've been 2016. Yeah, 2016. I don't remember what 2012 was. The games in Rio. Okay. Cool, dude. Yeah, was it 2016? It might've been 2016. I don't remember what 2012 was. The Games in Rio. Okay, cool dude, cool bro. They also had trouble with the pollution in the water. Remember that year? Yeah, why is the Olympics always going to places where it's going to kill the athletes? But I mean, if you haven't seen this opening ceremonies, it's on your DVR because every major, it's on your DVR, it's online, wherever it is, every major cable carrier is just doing nothing but playing the Olympics right now. You have to have a DVR somewhere, even if you didn't

purposely DVR it, they DVR it for you. You have to watch it. It's well worth the watch, I'm telling you right now. And if you understand a bit of it, please explain it to me. I'd be happy to listen, because I didn't understand half of it, but I loved it. The whole family was watching it. We were all having a good time. Yeah, Jeff and I were watching it. We loved it too. I was like, oh my God, this is incredible. We have a very dear friend that was there.

He was there, happened to work out for business that he was going to be there. And he was there. Happened to work out for business. What a lucky bastard. Nothing ever works out for business for me. He travels to Europe a lot. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break and we'll come back and maybe we'll talk more Olympics. Maybe we won't. You'll have to see when we get back. Hi. No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo.

See, I made you wait. And now look how happy you are. I know. I know you're smiling. Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow at the commercial break. Seriously, please. It's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy Begg. So just follow us on Instagram. Again, that's at the commercial break.

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Yeah, exciting stuff at the Olympics. Do you sleep sleeping on cardboard boxes? Did you hear that one? Yeah, well, I don't think it's cardboard box. Oh, no, it's cardboard. No, well, it's like some kind of recyclable material that then they're going to use afterwards. Cardboard, recycled material. Listen, I'm not saying it's not comfortable. I don't know.

I mean, a bed frame is a bed frame. It doesn't matter what it's made out of. None of them are going to be comfortable. You're not sleeping on the bed frame. And if you are, then you're Brian Green in his 20s. That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying it's not comfortable. I don't know. I mean, a bed frame is a bed frame. It doesn't matter what it's made out of. None of them are going to be comfortable. You're not sleeping on the bed frame. And if you are, then you're Brian Green in his 20s.

That was the porch. The porch was the hard, cold cement floor. Rain, sun, or shine. I was out on that thing, sleeping in a sleeping bag. It was, that was an experience I'll never forget for sure. Yeah. The jail bed was more comfortable than that. I was watching some of the like, I know the Simone Biles, she was, somebody in the girls gymnastics team was giving like a tour of their room and they were like,

you know, hitting the cardboard with their knuckles. I was like, wow. But it's good because then they can throw them away and reuse them. And then they have those thousands and thousands of apartments that hopefully they'll use for somewhat affordable housing. Although I'm not sure those words, affordable housing in Paris go hand in hand. But what an experience. It must just be an experience to be there,

to be there and to be an athlete. Ask her to ask a good question. She was like, we were watching swimming. And there was a person, Fink, who won silver medal in his, I forget what it was, the 100 meter breaststroke. The breaststroke, yeah. And it was the only thing he'd qualified for. And he had like a day job and they were showing this little vignette where he has a day job and then he goes swimming class and comes

back and he trains and- Didn't he, was he the one too that was about to have a baby? He just got married. Okay. That Caleb Dressel, I think, just had a baby. Okay, that's the one I was looking at last night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was when Snoop Dogg and his wife were like hanging out, high-fiving each other.

That was a sweet story. But anyway, so this faint guy, he's got a real job. He's got like a day job. And then he goes and he trains and he comes back and he says he's like a little bit of a machine. It's unbelievable. I can't do one thing really well, let alone three things really well.

I trained for the Olympics and have a job and be married. I could only dream. I could only dream to do anything. I mean, no way. So Astor goes, do you think if he only has one event that he's doing, what happens? He just goes home after that? And I'm like, well, I guess that's his personal choice, but the bed is there. Like, he's already got a bed at the Olympic Village. It's not like they

swap them out, you know, you got a bed, you got a bed. I don't think he has to go home. I think if he's there, he's there. He can go to the event and hang out and enjoy the experience. That's part of being an Olympian is you get to go there and hang out and enjoy the food. Yeah, that's why you're there when you're only the foods really good. Oh, my God, is it delicious? Let me tell you something. And I know this, I'm going to sound so fucking American right now that it's not even funny. But Astrid and I have spent some time in Paris. And the first time that we went to Paris, I already told the story about how we went from one hotel, we had to switch to another hotel, the whole nine yards. When we went to this second hotel, which is absolutely stunning, right down the street from the Arc, one night we were like,

okay, bed picnic, like bed picnic, let's order some room service, hang out, make love, watch a movie, you know, watch some TV, whatever's on, let's just stay in. It was raining, it was a little chilly. And we ordered, I ordered a cheeseburger because I'm a fucking American and I got to order the cheeseburger, right? Lay cheese baguette. And I ordered that cheeseburger. A Royale with cheese?

Not, I wish it was called Royale with cheese because that would be a cooler story, but it was just like a Lay cheese baguette or whatever. The fromage. It was fun. Yeah, con fromage. It was fucking fantastic. I'm sure it was. It was fun. Yeah, corn fromage. It was fucking fantastic. I'm sure it was. It was delicious.

Everything that we had in Paris was delicious compared to Switzerland, where everything that we had in Switzerland was stinky cheese. That's all it was. Everything was stinky cheese. And chocolate. We did have some chocolate. That was pretty good. I do have to say that.

But yeah, it's got to be an experience to be there. I mean, those days, I'm never going to get there. I wish. I'd say. Yeah, I would stay and just check out other events, check out the city, do the whole thing. I mean, mingle in with Snoop. You're so fascinated by Snoop. I wonder where he's getting his weed in Paris, because I don't think it's legal there. You think they just drive some down from Amsterdam for him? Yeah. Yeah, he's got a problem. You can't smoke that much weed and then just all of a sudden stop smoking weed and feel OK to do a broadcast.

You know what I'm saying? You might be doing the gummies, the edibles. That's what I'd be doing, is the gummies, the edibles. No drama. But they are a little bit less predictable, however. I just do have to say that. But he has his own weed company, doesn't he? Yeah, he does.

Yeah, he probably knows how to make it. Yeah, he does, exactly. He'll just take them. Actually, I gotta imagine that any security staff ever that gets lucky enough to pack down Snoop is probably already knows, I'm gonna let this guy go. They're probably disappointed if they don't find something. Right, exactly.

They're probably like, I'm, whatever. I can't wait to see this. He's, yeah. I'm not gonna arrest Snoop. No. On weed charges. No, it wait to see this. He's, yeah. I'm not gonna arrest Snoop on weed charges. It's part of him. Yeah, that'd be the most uncool thing I've done in my entire life, was arrest Snoop on weed charges.

I think he just has immunity. Like worldwide immunity from weed charges. Yes, what are you gonna do? Yeah, no, it's who we are. Who was, there was somebody, was it Doja Cat or somebody who got arrested in, I wanna say Sweden or something because there was weed on the- Maybe it was her, I love her.

Do you remember that? You remember that story? And she got arrested and they let her go so she could do her concert or something, which was cool. Hey, cool, I'm just gonna let you go. Why you got to be bugging? Yeah, that wouldn't happen to us. We've got to go. We got to go to the commercial break. No, it's a commercial break. What's that? Do you mean, do you mean the commercial break or a commercial break? I don't understand. No, no, no. We all have a show called the

commercial break. You haven't heard it? You under-rest. You under-rest-ay! Anyway, Olympics are exciting. I like it. They are. They're very exciting. And the good news is, no matter what time of day or night, there's always going to be, there's always something out. They're either doing the replay or it's starting over. I think that's a good news about having like European Olympics is that it's on 24 hours a day, because if it's not live, they're doing the replay or the summation. I recorded it. So I was like, record, you know, record the Olympics, just on NBC or

whatever, record it. And yesterday, my son and I are flipping through to see what we're going to watch. The Olympic coverage was 12 hours and 42 minutes. That's the recording that I had, 12 hours and 42 minutes. That's the recording that I had, 12 hours and 42 minutes. Yeah, it just keeps going. I think I caught some archery too the other day, which is cool. I used to love archery. I used to do that when I was at camp as a kid

and I loved archery. Really? Yeah. Let's see, what are some of the ones that I've been watching that are fake? I like that kayaking. I think kayaking is a lot of fun. I missed that, but I love to kayak in general.

Yeah, beach volleyball is cool. Like to watch beach volleyball. I mean, getting the handball. Water polo. The water polo. That has got to be so hard. It has got to be. I mean, you are treading water the whole time. And not only are you just treading water, it's not like you're just, that's all you're doing. You're actually like exerting yourself to play a sport in the water while you're treading water. It's gotta be hard. So, when I went to my dad's lake house, they like have these people that live across the cove from them. So, they live like a big lake, but then they live on this cove. So, it's a little inlet and it's not very big. And so, right across dock to dock, right, you know, the dock across and the house across, they were in the water one day with us and they had a daughter, son, excuse me, who was

like 18 years old and he had been invited to one of these like, handsy pansy super, you know, on your way to the Olympics water polo camps and he was, he had really been into it for the last couple of years and he'd done it. And they, guy was explaining to me that they'll do like a day of water polo practice and then they'll take a day off. But in that day for conditioning, they'll do 60, 90, or 120 minutes of treading fucking water. Just treading.

Treading fucking water, but not regular treading, not like you're treading, you know, just trying to keep your head above water, trying to keep your nipples above water. Right, yeah. Which is like insane to me. Yes, very active treading, you know, just trying to keep your head above water, trying to keep your nipples above water. Yeah. Yeah. Which is like insane to me. Yes. Yes. Very active treading. I will be on an inner tube or have a life jacket on and last my children not to grab onto me so that they don't take me down. I don't care. I don't care if you're

in trouble. Don't grab onto me. Swim to the dock. Oh, there, what are you doing? I can barely keep myself above water. Imagine trying to keep your nipples above water for hours at a time. Oh, it's gotta be incredibly difficult. Yeah, they're Olympians and we're not. I guess this is true. But I did notice about the water polo,

at least for the female version, is a very cheeky sport. And I guess for the guys version too, they wear very small swimsuits, right? It's a very cheeky sport. And I guess for the guys version too, they wear very, you know, small swimsuits, right? It's a very cheeky sport. There's a lot of ass hanging out and fine, whatever. It's whatever you're comfortable with. And I noticed last Olympics, they had the underwater camp. I mean, if you have an athletic ass like that,

you're comfortable, period. Yeah. If you're going to the Olympics, if your body is attuned enough to go to the Olympics, period. Jared L strong and they're 19 and fit and firm and all that other stuff. And sometimes not firm and whatever, whatever it is, all different kinds of body types, especially in like water polo and stuff, all different body types. But if you're a fucking Olympian, because your body is attuned enough to swim with your tits above the water for an hour and 20 minutes, then you should be showing your ass all day long. We should all be looking at it and marveling at what God gave you, marveling at what the universe gave you. That goddamn ass is beautiful, let it show.

What I noticed last time we did the Summer Olympics was they had the underwater camp for the Olympics. You could see them treading water and fighting and pulling each other underwater, which is part of the game. This time no underwater camp. Because I think in the Tokyo Olympics there were quite a few nip slips underwater, like when the girls grab on their bathing suits and stuff like that. I wouldn't want to be filmed underwater, not when you're having that much activity and things going on. Of course, you want to fix yourself.

You don't have to be filmed underwater either. No. I don't want that's my best look. My bony little legs with my small shriveled up dick. Like, I don't want that. I just don't want that. Those cameramen, they have a job to do, and their job is to get in the faces of the Olympians, get in the faces and the butts and the bodies. That's what they're supposed to do. And to some degree, you know, the Greeks used to do this naked, they used to do Olympics naked to show the world what an Olympian looked like, what the most beautiful, rock hard,

able-bodied people in the world could do. So there was a time, a short period of time, but a time when the Greeks would do the Olympics naked. Not anymore, to my chagrin, but not anymore. And these cameramen are supposed to get up in these grills and in these asses and all this other stuff. But I have to say, sometimes it's a little uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable for the people that are being filmed, like, especially the gymnastics. They get right in their fucking face. Like I was watching the girls gymnastics last night,

Astrid and I were. This poor little girl, I don't know where she's from, France, I think. She's a French girl and she has a terrible routine. I mean, she falls off the uneven bars, she tries to get back up, she falls again, she's not doing very well. And she's in front of her home crowd, who's really rooting for her.

And then the cameraman, she goes over to the side to sit down on, you know, take off her tape or whatever. And the cameraman is one and a half fucking inches from her face. She goes over to the side to sit down on, you know, take off her tape or whatever. And the cameraman is one and a half fucking inches from her face. And she's like got tears streaming down her face. And I'm like, I felt uncomfortable. I wanted to scream to that guy, leave her alone.

Just back up a little bit. Like tape her from 10 feet away on the side where it's obvious you're taping, but not too obvious to the rest of us. It feels like we're peeking in and not prying on somebody. I feel like those camera guys should learn a little, like, personal space sometimes. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I guess they're being directed. Yeah. I got a camera people coming for our live shows, by the way. And I told them, I

said, get in our faces. Not in 4K though. 2K. Can we do 2K? You have 1K. Blurred. Blurred. Blurred. All right. By the way, speaking of the live shows, I thought I would take time to talk about this now that it's official and that we know it. Chrissy and I are going to do our first two, our first two live shows in Florida, as we had discussed a couple of weeks ago, but it kind of took a sideways turn there for a second. We're going to be in Orlando on the 25th at the Funny Bone in Orlando,

in downtown Orlando. So if you want tickets, I'll tell you how to get them in the next couple of days. Pay attention, go to our website or our Instagram. Both of those places will be making those announcements and giving you the link to go buy tickets. And then we're going to be in Miami, north of Miami. We're going to Miami first. Yeah. On the 24th, Daniel Point, which is just south of the Fort Lauderdale Airport and just north of Miami, it's about 20 minutes north of Miami.

So we're calling it Miami, even though it's not technically Miami, it's kind of Miami. The greater area. Daniel Point improv on the 24th. So the 24th and the 25th, Miami and then Orlando, we would absolutely love to see you. And if you're going to be there,

like so many of you have told us you're going to be, please let us know so at least we can say hello. And who knows, maybe we'll bring some swag or send some swag to you. More likely we'll send swag to you because I don't want to carry 17 different bags. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not interested in that. I thought about it. Like, okay, let's bring some merch that we can sell because Astrid's cooking up some awesome merch. But then I'm like, do I want to bring seven boxes

of t-shirts? Cause I'm going to worry about sizes. Or just bring one size, like X, X large. And we can just give everybody really big t-shirts. Thank you. I don't know, we need to think about that. Cause I like the idea of the QR code. That's what we're going to do.

Yeah. Where then you can scan your phone, put your information in, and we'll send it to you. We're going to have a QR code. And then I'm going to have it on my, I'm going to wear a t-shirt with the QR code. So that if you want to buy merch, just come up during the middle of the show and I'll, I'll go like this. I'll throw my arms back and go cha-ching, cha-ching.

When all four of you show up to Dania Point in Orlando, we absolutely would love to see you. So if you're going to be there, let us know. Two one two four three three three T-3TCB. All right, let's take another short break and we'll be back. What's up haters? Now let's get down to business. If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that I mean, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram

at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast, unless you wanna fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live. As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com.

Bye. How do stop losses work on Kraken? Let's say I have a birthday party on Wednesday night, but an important meeting Thursday morning. So, sensible me, pre-books a taxi for 10 p.m. with alerts. Voila! I won't be getting carried away and staying out till 2. That's Stop Loss Orders on Kraken, an easy way to plan ahead. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. You know what's great about ambition? You can't see it.

Some things look ambitious, but looks can be deceiving. For example, a runner could be training for a marathon, or they could be late for the bus. You never know. Ambition is on the inside. So that road trip bucket list? Get after it. Drive your Ambition. Mitsubishi Motors. Okay, we're back here. Hey, don't miss tomorrow's episode because we have two very special guests, I think, are going to be calling in tomorrow. I'll try not to. Well, I know you won't miss it. I hope you don't miss it anyway. I hope you don't. But you, the listeners out there, don't miss tomorrow's episode. Two very special guests. It's going to be a very special episode of the commercial, right? Can't believe we're getting these two

people to call in, but you'll know it when you hear it. It's going to be quite unbelievable, Chrissy. We usually don't talk about politics, but this time we're going to make the exception and we're going to have, yeah, two. Yeah, that's right. We're going to test the waters. We're going to test the waters and see how it goes. Very good people. Yes, most certainly. Hey, have you, there's, you know, there's all these people on the internet, like we've been talking about with a lot of our guests forever and ever, who are trying to find their

fan base online. And so they'll release music, they'll do comedy bits, they'll sometimes showcase acting, painting, whatever it is. If you do it, it's likely somebody else out there wants to see it, just like the commercial break. We didn't know it would only be 20 people, but you know, we're here and we're doing it. And, uh, The love of the game. I didn't say you'd find a large audience. I said,

you'd find an audience, but there are so many people out there that are now expressing themselves artistically, cutting out the middle, man. You don't need to, you know, you don't need a record contract. You don't need to be with one of the big art galleries. You don't need to go the traditional, you know, dance school route to do dancing, whatever, however that hand back, I don't even understand how that happens, but I know that happens, you can just go straight to the people. And I can appreciate this. And honestly, I ain't got no hate in the game for somebody that is expressing themselves directly into the camera and then hoping or then trying to find their own audience. There is a guy quite frankly, who's been taking the Instagram by storm. And I just, I'm kind

of fallen in love with the dude. He's a musician. His name is Kevin Tierney. And he's writing songs that quite frankly go, they hit right in the gut, Chrissy. They hit right in the gut. But he's one of those guys, you know, there are two types of songwriters out there in my opinion. One that is kind of like a storyteller. They tell you a story, you understand it pretty earnestly, it's very congruent, it's unlike the opening ceremonies, it's very congruent, you can understand it because the words are being told to you like a story. And then there are more, there are people who are a little bit more elusive about

their lyrics. Like I would give you an example, Eddie Vedder, right? Who just says random words and then you hope you can get something meaning out of it. You don't even know if you're understanding the words correctly. But it sounds good. You get it. All right? Kevin, I'm going to let you decide which version this musician is, Kevin Tierney on Instagram. I'm going to play a little bit of his music here. I'm going to do it through, you know what I'm going to do? I'm actually going to play it through the board. How's that, Chrissy?

Do it. I'm going to go crazy this time. Get crazy. And I'm going to hope that my mom doesn't call for the 55th time today while we're doing this. My mom, I swear, she's on a roll. Sometimes moms call you incessantly in the hopes that they can get ahold of you. Because they know that if they call you enough, it's likely you're going to answer, thinking there's some kind of emergency. Yeah. And then she goes, Hi, honey.

What's wrong? Is everything okay? How's your day? Yeah. You didn't answer me. What's going on? Nothing. You're the one who's calling me 30 times. What do you mean, what's going on? All right. Let's listen to Kevin here. Let me turn this down a little bit so it's not too loud. There we go. Let's listen to Kevin. Take a listen to his songs. I think you're really going to enjoy this. I like the ethereal.

It is very ethereal. Goodbye. Goodbye. It's never too late for you to believe Don't be your life to me Don't be scared to them I am right by your side I won't let you give up No need to be anybody by you

You're everything you need to be Okay, so as you can tell, Kevin's pretty on the nose here. He's pretty, he wants to, he wants to make sure that you understand what he's talking about. I know, and I can't decide if it's stalkerish or supportive. Oh, now let me show you the Instagram video. That was the Spotify, that was his Spotify song. Now let me show you his Instagram video. And I'm pretty sure you'll come to this conclusion I'll let Chrissy look at it in the studio. We were high school sweethearts, saying you couldn't stay, because you had to move away, so we tried long distance. Wow.

One day you texted me to say that you want to break up. I asked why and you said to me that you want to break up. I asked why and you said to me that you... I asked why and... I asked why and... You said to me... What did she say? I don't know, because he doesn't have that one. Let's see, does he have that one on... Let's see if I can get Kevin's full release schedule here. I mean, he's got a whole look going on too with...

He's like on a bridge. He's on a bridge and then he uses hand motions like, you know, I'm throwing you off of the bridge. I really hope you drown. No one breaks up with me. No one ever breaks up with me except for you because you're my only girlfriend ever. I went to McDonald's today, drove through the drove through and ordered number two. I asked for extra barbecue sauce, but the lady forgot to put it in.

So I went around again. I turned down the music in case you couldn't hear me. He's just singing his life. Oh, he does have this one on. Okay, here we go. Far, far. We were high school sweethearts, and you couldn't stay, cause you had to move away, so we tried. I mean, he could have said more words in there if he tried. You had to move away.

Yeah. You gotta move away so they try I mean, he could have fit more words in there if he tried You gotta move away Hey, by the way, Kevin, I love it, brother, I love it You're getting tens of thousands of views and tens of thousands of loves and tens of thousands of jokes, but you keep doing you, bro It's funny, it's good, doesn't matter why people like it, people like it It's earwig, bro On distance It doesn't matter why people like it, people like it. It's earwig, bro. ["Distance"]

Oh! I thought there was gonna be some big reveal, but it was just she found somebody else. Yeah, the big reveal was like, I didn't like you. As happened. What happens after that, I wanna know. I put my hands up and surrender to you anymore.

I am finally feeling free. Well, good, he turned a negative into a positive, but it sounds a little like, whatever. Yeah, whatever. Now I'm free. He said, I'm no longer going to surrender to you. Well, I think she made that clear. I don't think she wanted you to surrender to her anymore. Oh, poor Kevin. Kevin.

Kevin. I guarantee, Kevin. I guarantee. Let me give you a bright side here. This may not be the world's best song that's ever been written about love. And the lyrics might be a little bit too on the nose. You might want to have get a songwriter involved to help you truncate, or your style will evolve over time. You keep trying, you keep going at it. I can't say it's the worst song in the world either. I mean, we've certainly heard trashier shit on this show. But I'll tell you this, it doesn't matter if she broke up with you, bro. Now you're an Instagram influencer. Like you're out there. Yeah, he showed her.

You showed her. And when she comes running back, you say, fuck to the no. And you just wait for someone to pop into those DMs. Cause they will. They're going to drop that, someone's going to drop that DM, bro. And the two of you are going to run, then you're going to have another love song to make. I met this girl on DM and she texted me. Hello, my name is Anna Lee.

And we went out for coffee one day, but my mom had to drop me off because my car was in the shop getting an oil change. Yeah. Yeah, you keep doing you, Kev. Kev, you keep doing you, bro. Chrissy's got great advice for you. You keep doing you, and you're welcome on the show anytime. I don't really mean that,

but if you want to have my people contact your people. Oh, you find so much fun. Oh God, I love it. I found Strider doing the voice dives, the throat dives, the throat dives, Kevin Tierney on fire out there. I mean, he's got like a,000 likes on one of his posts. It resonated. The comment section not so hot,

but I don't think I might just look at those likes and keep running. Yeah, don't look at the comments. Yeah, it doesn't seem like he's responding to anybody, so that's good news, but people are funny. I do have to say, some people are really good at commenting. Some people are really good at commenting. They do a great, great job.

I do love it. All right, so hey, you must tune in tomorrow. I'm telling you what, you're not gonna wanna miss this one. Tune in tomorrow. All right, Chrissy and I, Dania Point on the 24th, Orlando on the 25th. Tickets available soon, we'll let you know. Go to the website.

Keep an eye on that website, tcvpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video, links to buy your tickets to our live shows, you get your free sticker there, contact us, drop us a line if you want to, get your free sticker by hitting the drop down menu. I want my free sticker, it's pretty straightforward. It's a Kevin Tierney lyric. I want my free sticker, give us your ad.

I want my free sticker right now. I want my free sticker right now us your ad. I want my free sticker right now. I want my free sticker right now. So please send to me. Here's my address in North Virginia. Zip code 77073. Alright, and we would love to hear from you. 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.

For those of you texting us. Comments, questions, concerns, content ideas, we take them all. We'd love to hear from you. You can leave a voicemail or a text message, actually. At the Commercial Break on Instagram. We'll also drop a link there or tell you how to get tickets on the Instagram, so if you don't follow us, please do. And youtube.com slash the commercial break commercial break for all of our interviews, selected clips and special episodes.

There you go. What else do I have to say? Now listen, Chrissy suggested we Rose battle. I want to hear from you. Do you want us to Rose battle? Now I'm calling the audience into it. Chrissy throwing you to the map. Okay. I'm dragging you out there one way or the other.

Thanks so much to Brian Moses. Our guests this week. We'll get back to you on the roast bottle until next time. Chrissy. That's all I can do for today. I think so, but I love you. I love you best to you. It best you out there in the podcast universe until next time.

Chrissy and I always say what do you say? And we must say, goodbye. Goodbye. I get ass.