The Commercial Break - Porn Again Preacher
Episode Date: May 22, 2023Bryan & Krissy go from number of lovers, to marriage, to pegging, to research, to Amish, to pornstar, to preacher, to hope in this episode. Feels like whiplash...and not the porn kind. A controversia...l research study Compared to people nowadays, Bryan’s vanilla as hell! Bryan’s a financial dominatrix foot model who wants to get pegged You might long for what you don’t have, but you might have chosen wrong Bryan can’t remember Esther Perel’s name Krissy Hoadley: Nympho There was a correlation between number of lovers and marital unhappiness Correlation does not equal causation! What constitutes a lot of lovers? Return to Amish Rumspringa or Jerryspringa? From Pornstar to Preacher "You should do movies" Ever heard that in LA? Bryan is NOT harassing Krissy! Bryan, having grown up in the 1920s, isn't comfortable with "moving pictures" His friends found his porn repetoire! Crazy coincidence! Like Lisa Rinna, OWN IT! Is this his confessional? He went from being naked on camera to being naked on camera *for the church* He found…Hope! Bryan gets inspirational LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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friends know, it's gonna get back to your parents.
And your boner never goes down?
Not even a Thanksgiving dinner, because you're all pumped up full of dick drugs.
Hey, John, I don't want to be rude.
And I know it's been a long time since we talked about your penis, but as your mother,
I have to ask, why are you so hard all the time?
It's my job, mom. I found pussy for 11
The next episode of the commercial break starts now
Yeah, cats and kittens welcome back to the commercial break I'm Brian Green
This is my dear friend and co-host Kristen joy only bestie you Chris and that's you Brian
That's you out there in the foget universe.
I just read an interesting article, and I wonder if you agree with it.
And it's spade the, like, the subtext, or like, the, I'll give you the short, short and
sweet version, the Adlib version, which is, and don't believe anything I say, because
I never remember anything correctly. But the kind of topic was, researchers have found that people who have more lovers before
they get married are less inclined to have happy marriages than those who don't.
In the thought process being, is that when you have sex with a lot of people, you kind
of figure out that you know what you're missing when you get into marriage, essentially,
you're like, oh, wow, I could be out there having all this wild and crazy adventure sex.
I do too.
I feel like I played the field.
I know it's out there, and I've chose correctly.
I feel like a bolt the women that I've slept with,
I chose the correct one.
That's what I feel like.
Yeah, I don't feel the same way.
I feel like I'm in a pretty happy marriage.
Loveless and sexless, but it's pretty happy.
We're generally okay with each other.
I'm kidding, of course.
Well, you have three small children too.
Oh my God, the children just forget about it.
You know, in this two-shell pass, right?
Yes, it's just an incredibly crazy time.
Because anytime you bring in a new child into the house,
it's just gonna take a long period of adjustment.
You know, three months to 30 years, I would say.
Somewhere in that neighborhood,
it's gonna take a while to get adjusted to the new child.
But I do get the premise,
and I understand why people might respond in that way,
that they have had a lot of experience.
And so they're missing the wild and crazy times,
probably when they were out on the streets
having one night stands,
I personally miss none of that.
Correct me.
Yeah.
While I might occasionally think back on a wild night or two
and go, wow, I can't even believe I was involved
in that, let alone.
Yeah.
But I just consider myself lucky to have been in the right place in the right time.
To me, when they're done that, and it was time to experience something else, a deeper love, if you will.
Do you remember me?
I don't know.
It was at Steve Winwood.
I think so.
He was in a grateful fucking dead.
Did you know that?
Steve Winwood was a grateful dead after Pig Ben for like grateful fucking dead. Did you know that? Steve Winwood was a grateful dead
after Pigpen for like what, 10 years or something like that?
Long time.
It's not exact, but...
But in Steve Winwood made one of our favorite songs,
one of our commercial break themes, which is...
Everybody's working for the weekend.
He did that.
No, I'm kidding.
Yeah.
He did the other one that goes along
with the Friday whistle or whatever they call it. You know, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do So I don't I also don't agree with the results of this now everyone of course gives entitled to their own opinion
Yeah, everyone's different too. I mean, I think it depends on how
Wild you are and then if you're missing things why did you settle then? Yeah, like you know
Astrid's not gonna let me sniff cocaine off her clitoris, but
Was that really?
Great sex anyway. No, it was that really great sex anyway?
No, it was just a novelty.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, there are things that I have done in my life sexually
that I think of as adventurous,
but then we want, then I started doing the commercial break
and I realized that I'm as tame as anybody.
What I thought was adventurous is like a Tuesday afternoon
to some of these kids today.
Oh my God.
Yeah, they do, I mean, it's just crazy.
It's crazy what the, how the sexual preference is.
And I think this is a good thing.
Everyone feels comfortable, or a lot of people feel comfortable
in their sexual choices and their sexual preferences.
How do you think, yeah.
But I don't think that having multiple lovers
makes you less inclined to have a happy monogamous relationship. I think it probably makes you more secure in that relationship.
I would think so too.
You have a lot of experience under your belt,
you know what pitfalls to avoid,
you know, which hills to die on,
you know, what you do like, you know,
what you don't like.
When you get into a monogamous relationship,
or maybe any kind of relationship,
maybe it doesn't have to be monogamous.
But when you get into a relationship,
and you trust that person,
and you feel a lot of love for them, then trust that you can share with them your deepest and most intimate secrets like, you know peg me
Astrid please peg me. I'm okay with it or
Yeah, or now I'm a financial
Dominatrix and I want you to pay the managed the account the power bill
But many people responded that they felt like their experiences led them to missing something in their relationship.
But here's the truth.
I can take a snapshot of all of my experiences and I can say that I did some things sexually.
I would consider adventurous.
But it's like anything that where time goes on, the picture gets more rosy, you make stuff up in your head.
It feels more exciting than it actually was.
The truth is I was scared shitless every time
I did something besides the missionary position
with anybody for a long time, right?
I was like, oh my God, am I doing this right?
What are we doing?
I kind of had to fumble through it.
And I don't think that I was, I don't think I'm missing out on anything. I think I know exactly what I want and
my belief is
when people think back on their sexual adventures, they may make them more grandiose than it actually was.
They're missing something, they can't have their cake and eat it too. So they're missing something that they may not necessarily
miss.
Otherwise.
Exactly enough.
I actually find it more exciting to be now on this new track
because you gotta keep it spicy somehow,
so you're trying new things that you're not trying that much.
You know, I keep it spicy, blue.
That's how I keep it spicy.
I said, let's bring blue in and we'll let her bark the entire time.
Oh my gosh.
I, yeah, I feel really secure in my relationship with Astrid.
I feel like if there was something that I wanted to do, like,
have a 12 some, then she would totally be down with it.
For, no, that's not true, actually.
But I feel like I could say to her that this was something
that I wanted to enjoy.
And she would at least hear me out.
Right, talking through.
She might say no, but she'll at least talk it through.
Yes.
When I'm with somebody that I'm with for a night
or two weeks or three weeks.
I don't get that level of communication and trust.
No.
And the worst sexual experiences to me are the ones that are adventurous, what I would
consider adventurous, meaning outside your normal sexual act, your normal personal sexual
activity preferences, and they just like, you get surprised by someone else's, you know,
personal sexual preferences.
Like the time I walked in and somebody was like,
it waked off in front of me real quick.
And I was like, what?
It just came home from work.
I mean, it was a surprise.
No one talked about it.
There was no, you know, mutual conversation about it.
It was just let's mutually masturbate
in front of each other.
The second I walk in the door,
which I ended up, you know up having fun with in the end,
but it was a big surprise and it was a moment in time.
And do I want to walk in the door now every time
and hear Astrid go, let's masturbate right now.
Because no, I can't hear her because Blue's barking to that.
Exactly.
And it kids my way.
Yeah, so I do get that you long for what you don't have or you can't have.
You want to have your cake and eat it too, essentially.
But I think that's a pretty immature way of looking at a relationship.
I think so too.
And I think you didn't pick the right person.
So I'll tell you what that is.
Yeah, that's true.
Let's be honest about it.
50% of people are not happy in their marriage.
Is anyway, they're not long for the two.
What is it?
There's like a 60% divorce rate in this country.
I mean, I saw that lady, Ethel, not Eth for the two. What is it? There's like a 60% divorce rate in this country. I mean, I saw that that lady Ethel
not Ethel Marmon. I want to keep on calling her Ethel Marmon.
That's a Marmon. Isn't she like the who is she?
Ethel Marmon.
I don't even know what she was up. She got all in the family or something.
I don't know. I can conjure up an image of what she looks like.
Yeah, Esther.
I feel like there's curlers involved.
There are definitely curlers involved.
My grandma put curlers in that hair.
She was 106 putting curlers in those days.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, she had burn marks all over her head in the end,
because she even put the curler in and leave it there.
But Esther, and I can't remember her name,
she got a very famous podcast where she talks
through two people, she has therapy, she's a therapist,
clinical psychologist.
So what she'll do is she'll have a therapy session
and she'll get someone to agree to tape those therapy sessions
while they work through something
and then she made it into a podcast.
And it is absolutely fascinating.
But one of the things that she said on a podcast
that I thought was very interesting
is that our parents and our parents' parents
will probably only know one legal spouse
or technically spouse in their entire life.
They would have known just one spouse, right?
Our parents are our parents' parents, right?
In other words, go back far enough
and people don't get divorced.
They just stay married or they stay married to one person.
And once you get a divorce, you're toxic.
Are they get divorced and remarried?
Or they get divorced and remarried three times.
Like, oh, these parents.
But she said, in the future, now and in the future,
you will have multiple jobs and you'll have multiple spouses.
It'll be more common for you to have two or three spouses
than it will for you to have one spouse, right?
And-
Why would say less than less people are getting
actually married?
Yeah, people see it as a negative.
And, you know,
besides all the financial responsibility,
legal obligations and filing your taxes together,
and probably still getting a divorce.
I don't see any downside to getting married.
I-
That's all the shit that I went through to change my last name.
I know.
I'm never.
Why would you ever go back?
That's right.
There's still stuff that pops up to this day,
Jeff and I've been married for five years.
I can't believe it.
That's what it's the same thing.
She is the same thing.
After going through all the drama to change her name, still on half our stuff, because her old name, and it can't believe it. That's what is the same thing. She is the same thing. After going through all the drama, the change her name, still on half our stuff,
it has her old name and it can't get changed.
Like no one seems to be able to answer the question.
No, and then you have to really go through a lot of stuff
sending like your married certificate,
your driver's license, all the stuff.
Yeah, the original copy.
I just changed my Walgreens account.
Why do I have to change my last name, damn it.
We had like a Mary out rewards point.
Yeah, we had a Mary out rewards point and they refused to change Astrid's last name, damn it. We had like a Mary out rewards point. Yeah, we had a Mary out rewards points and they refused to change
Astrid's last thing.
Oh, I had to go through so much shit with Mary out.
Yeah, it's crazy.
And all this document.
Why the fuck do they care?
Like just change the name.
This is Mary out reward points.
It's somebody earned them.
Can't somebody use them?
Does it matter what their last name is?
I mean, be a little bit more like Delta and let you ever use the points. It doesn't really matter.
But, you know, the story so fascinating to me and the outcome of the survey,
fascinating to me, but I do think that this is a bit of a misstep.
In this, and I'm sure lots of people are being honest about their feelings,
but I think they're just thinking about the things that they can't have instead of focusing on the things that
they do have.
Because sex, I got news for you in marriage.
Sex becomes, it's the first most important thing for about the first five years and then
it quickly falls down the line and priority, especially when you have children, financial responsibilities, love and true love
and a partnership, it weather's the storm
and part of the storm may be that you have a low
in sex sometimes, that's what happens.
That's why there's so many tropes
about marriage on comedy television, you know?
Oh yeah, Marin, I haven't had sex for 10 years.
Well, for some people that I know, that's absolutely true.
And they still love each other.
That would be a problem for me.
Well, I'm not talking about for the nymphomaniac, the clinically diagnosed nymphomaniac
named Chrissy Houdley.
I mean, I mean, I mean, I call myself a nympho, but I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, what would you call yourself?
A sex-crazed animal, that's like...
Ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha!
Some people's abatites are bigger than others.
That's true. I can sit down and I can eat a whole steak by myself
and some people just want little bitty minced meats.
That's all they want.
Those people tend to be children,
but okay, I get to,
I get to comparison.
But I think it is, I think it is something to be considered
when you're getting into a long-term monogamous relationship
or whatever kind of relationship,
is that if you really committed to this person
and you decide to marry them legally or not legally,
just decide to live with them in a, you know,
whatever you call it, common law marriage,
you should consider the fact
that everything is going to ebb and flow. Everything is going to happen.
Exactly.
There's going to be seasons to every relationship, and one of the seasons might be the sex
season, and that season might go away for a minute, and then it might come back to the
sex season.
So don't place so much relevance and importance on sex.
And you know, the other thing is that
this is the kind of contradictory
to what we're reading all over the place,
which is that kids aren't having sex these days.
True.
Yeah.
So, I don't know if they're not having sex.
Well, I guess the younger kids aren't married yet.
No, the younger kids, yeah, that's true.
The younger kids don't marry.
Was this study that you were reading?
Was it just strictly to do with sex?
Or it was to do with overall
in general, you just miss your old single life? Yeah, no. reading was it just strictly to do with sex or it was to do with overall and
generally you just miss your old single life? Yeah, no, it was specifically the
questions that are asked. Yeah, yeah.
You made a commitment. Get your dick out of your hand.
Do it. If it's a toxic situation, get out. That's right. You can't. Yeah.
What are you a three year old mining and complaining on the floor that you
can't have a blunt get every five minutes. Come on, get it together.
What do you need an ass cream cone when you wake up every morning?
Yeah.
How about every other morning?
But yeah, there's, they didn't, they didn't bring in single people into the conversation.
It was just married folks.
And the question was, how many partners have you had?
And then the other question was, what is your satisfaction level with your current marriage?
And there was a correlation between dissatisfaction and more lovers and satisfaction
and less lovers. And I think about less lovers, what does that mean? Is that like less than five?
Yeah. Less than three. Are you recording that out of the liar or whoever? I mean, he's got like
three thousand or whatever. Oh, you mean what's it? Johnny Anthony. Yeah, Johnny Anthony is three thousand
but I got a feeling that guy is never getting married
because there's no woman in the right mind
who's gonna marry that douchebag.
You do one Google search of Johnny Anthony lifestyle
and you're not gonna find furniture for your bedroom.
You're gonna find some ass clown
that has a really bad relationship advice
and many, many videos where he's sharing it.
I mean, I'm being serious.
I know, I know.
It's such a douche bag.
I know.
And so, but I do wonder like, what's the cutoff line?
I kind of wish I had been part of the study
because I kind of wish what's the cutoff line?
What do they consider a lot of lovers?
A lot of lovers.
What do you consider a lot of lovers?
I'm not saying, well, how many did you have?
I'm saying how many of you could take?
I mean, I would go with old, what's his name?
What do we say his name was?
Johnny Anthony.
Johnny Anthony.
I mean, that was a lot of lovers.
Of course it is.
Yeah.
I would say anything over 10 is probably a fair amount of lovers.
I'd say anything over 30 was a lot.
I'd say anything over 50 was many.
Anything over 100 is like, what are you doing
with all your time? Are you just walking around, fucking people 100 is like, what are you doing with all your time?
We're just walking around, fucking people.
I mean, yeah.
I mean, I think it's different for each person.
You know I was watching the other day.
The, the, the, the thing you think of this TLC.
And I was watching this show called Return to Almish,
which I've never watched before.
Thought of that promotion for the day.
Did you?
I don't see it.
They've had like four different versions of this.
I think promotions for all this stuff, I don't watch it.
You gotta watch it. Well Jeff won't let you. You've had like four different versions of it. I think promotions for all the stuff. I don't watch it. You gotta watch it.
Well Jeff won't let you.
You can go over to my house.
I can watch it if I want to.
That's you's not to.
When I can be watching below deck Mediterranean
or watching stuff about homage people,
I'm going below deck.
Beautiful locations, beautiful people, little drama.
Yeah, but in my opinion, it's totally expected
for those people to act like complete shit shows
because they're spoiled rich brats
and people who are working for spoiled rich brats, right?
Who I also think are just spoiled rich brats
who are working on a yacht, but okay, I get past that.
The homage, there's a true, like,
there's some true friction going on there.
I did not get the homage at all.
I don't get it either, because here's the,
at all.
Let me point out a couple things about this. It's the old tradition, but I don't get it.
The omnis comes from like some German colony or something. I don't even know. I really just don't
get it. I don't get it either, but it depends. And also just like any religion or community or,
you know, what sect of people, there are communities inside the communities. So just like with Mormons,
there are Mormons who adhere to polyamory as a way of life.
It's like a religious thing for them.
And there are many more Mormons
who are like, you know,
Church of Latter-day, St. Type Mormons,
who are just normal Mormons.
And they don't take on multiple lives.
But with the Amish, there are-
It's a whole lifestyle of like old-timey stuff.
It's a rejection of technology.
It's a rejection of what they see
as dangerous, sinful behavior.
And so they tend to work inside the community.
And in some cases, that's true.
They make great furniture.
They really do make great furniture and butter.
I just might not have shits here.
And butter, that's right.
But one of the things, one of the things that I found
pretty amazing about this omesh show that I'm watching,
which is, you know, take it with a green assault.
It's a television show.
But this is all about these kids who go out on room springa
and or take its sabbatical and go out into the English world
and live their lives for a couple of months or whatever.
And then they make a decision about whether or not
they wanna return to Amish.
So they call it the...
That's the size that they do that.
Yeah, and they...
They offer them that option.
Well, it's a tradition.
It's called room spring, right?
And they tend to do it like I think when they're 18 years old, they go on a year...
You know, hey, I...
But then doesn't the family completely cut them off or something?
Completely shunned them.
Yeah, it's called shunning.
And they get shunned.
And depending on which Amish sect you're in, you can really be shunned like for life
and soak in the family if one of the kids decides to leave
and go to the initial world.
I don't know.
I don't claim that everything I do.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know if you shunned once you choose the other.
Have a great time son.
Yeah, go make your choice.
It's for life.
We'll be here making no money
because we're shunned from the community. But go get your
dick wet son. Go balls deep. But what surprised me about the Amish community is first of all,
in this show at least one of the ladies in the show like this older, they call her granny,
this older, Amish lady lives in the English world, but she's still Amish. She still wears,
you know, the traditional clothing and all that other stuff,
but they go out boozing every night.
They have sex, a premarital sex all the time.
It's not something that's necessarily...
It's not something that's...
Granny does.
Granny does.
The kids do.
Whether they're in the community or out of the community,
they all have sex.
And this lady has a house in Pennsylvania.
She's got one in Iowa.
She's got one down in Miami.
This girl's got like a little real estate,
like fiefdom going on down there.
And they live in like a beach town.
She's not really Amish then.
She's Amish, but she's like rich Amish, I suppose.
You know, there's always one in every crowd.
Is he sunned?
I don't know.
I've watched enough of the episodes to know
if she's a shunned, if she's a shunner or a shunned, I don't know, I've watched enough of the episodes to know if she's a shunned, if she's a shunner,
or a shunned, I don't know.
But I do know that these younger kids,
they just, when they go out into the English world,
these guys are picking up the hot ass,
winning down in Miami, these girls love the Amish guys.
Yeah, you go wild.
All these girls in the club, they're attracted
to these Amish guys that are wearing this traditional
armor scarb and they just like swarm them. Now, they also attracted to these Amish guys that are wearing this traditional Amish garb,
and they just like swarm them.
Now, they also have a TV crew around them, so.
Well, there's that, and then there's also kind of like the allure of,
like, taboo.
Yeah, taboo.
Yeah, turning somebody another way.
That's right. Little did they know that this guy's already been fucking
since he was like 13 years old.
You know, they have this impression that he's just like a virgin territory.
But meanwhile, he's got seven different types of SDDs
and he's never going to the doctor,
so he's not at it fixed,
which they said on the show is a real problem
that a lot of the women in the community have SDDs
that they pass around
because they don't go to traditional doctors.
They don't see traditional doctors
and get traditional medicine
because they see it as an evil.
So, it sounds, I know it sounds like this sounds completely,
like your brain just gets all twisted up.
Not to mention, there's gotta be some bit
of inbreeding that's going on
when you're just marrying into the community
over and over and over again.
Don't know that to be true,
but I'm just thinking to myself.
Number two.
Because, I mean, if you think about it,
I don't know a lot of people that are like, Hey, I'm going to go be Amish.
So to get fresh meat and the, the, the reading. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's hard. Hey, Bob, it's me, Brian. Why are you talking so weird, Brian? Because I'm
becoming a part of the Amish. and I'd like to join your community.
Wait, let me ask you a separate question.
You want to become part of Amish community for what reason?
All the pussy, really?
And let's just face it, you guys need some new sperm up in that genetic pool.
You know what I'm saying?
Let me come around and I'll have sex with all the girls, and you know, if you don't mind,
I'd like to drink a bud light and keep my iPhone with me. And occasionally smoke the wacky tobacco.
Oh no, we let the kids do that all the time.
It's called the room springer.
It's usually for 18 year olds.
What about 40 somethings?
Can I go on, you know, like old springer?
Is there an old springer?
I know, I'm not room springer.
But can I go, you know, Jerry Springer?
I'd like to go Jerry Springer up in there. So I thought that it was just fascinating
to me to watch this little snippet of this life and how they live it inside and outside
the community. One girl fell in love with a guy who was Amish, but he left to be part
of the English community. And this guy is missing his entire upper lip. He had a like a horrible
accident where he was getting drank a bunch of bleach
and he got all these burns on his face
and they didn't take him to the doctor.
Oh, because that's not what they do.
So he was not allowed to get plastic surgery to fix it,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
So now he's got a real disfiguration.
But, and I can see this,
like if you get past the whole mouth thing,
the guy's kind of a handsome dude.
And he's very nice, at least on the show,
he's presented very nice.
I'm sorry.
Wow.
So this girl falls in love with him.
This other omnis girl falls in love with him.
And he says, you know, listen, if you're gonna be with me,
you gotta go into the English world
because I'm not omnis.
So it's called the English world. That's what they refer to it as, the English world because I'm not Amish. So it's called the English world.
That's what they refer to it as. The English world, which is completely wrong.
Verbage, but okay, whatever.
So she then goes to her parents.
She made some decision that she loves this guy,
he's named Daniel, and she's going to go tell her parents
I'm leaving the Amish world to go in the English world with Daniel.
So she goes in, cameras aren't allowed,
but she's got her microphone on and her parents instantaneously shun her.
Her mom is like, oh really?
Okay, don't even put your bag down, turn around,
leave your shun.
And then she walks outside and talks to the camera
and she's like sobbing.
She's like, they're my family, I love them.
And I'm thinking to myself, Jesus Christ,
just because the kid wants to go
have a little extended room spring.
Oh, you're gonna, you know.
That is cool.
Fucking shun her.
It's really terrible.
The good news is about this particular silica
we the Brian's been on is that I'm never going to lose any of my
omnis listeners because they're not listening anyway.
Oh, no, I don't know.
They're not allowed to.
I'm surprised this community is letting TV crews into it, but
whatever you feel see they warm their way into every little crevice.
Yeah.
That's right.
Well, let's be honest.
I mean, in media in general does that.
And DLC is certainly finding a little niche
of fucked up human beings to follow.
And I thought the same thing when I saw the show.
I was like, wait a second.
It's the, I'm sure completely opposed to technology.
Like they won't even turn on the night light at,
you know, in the evening to make sure they don't bump their heads
on the walls, then why are they letting a television camera
follow them around?
Multiple television cameras.
And then I thought to myself,
well, they probably found the Lucy Goosey Amish community.
You know, they got the one.
Yeah, the ones who have a Verizon store right now,
right down the street for them.
I think they're next door to the land where monster hunters is filmed.
That's true. Yes. East West Kentucky, as we've learned, East West Kentucky is where all the
cryptid things happen. Cryptids, we're going to review that in an upcoming show, the world of
cryptids. Cryptids. But while we were talking about Amish, it made me think of like, people who have made
extreme religious decisions from one swing to the other,
from one, from the left to the right.
People do that, a lot of people do that.
A lot of people do that.
And I found this story of a young man,
and I found this story mainly because he's the one out there
telling it all the time.
I found this story mainly because he's the one
who can't stop talking about himself.
But I found this story of a former famous porn star who has become a preacher.
And if you're willing to listen, he's willing to tell you.
And I thought that I would.
Oh, it's a guy.
It's a guy.
Okay.
So I thought that we would review one of his, you know, one of his, I don't know what you
call it, like appearances on one of these podcasts
where he explains how he went from porn star to preacher.
You wanna hear about it?
I would love to.
G-C-B.
Hey you, guess you.
I hate to interrupt all the fun,
but I just wanna remind you that tcbpodcast.com is where you find all the audio and the video, plus you can contact us to
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commercial break to see the fully edited episodes.
You'll love it or youros conversation, I found a former porn star,
now a preacher online because I was strolling on the internet.
As you do.
As I do like to do. Let's take a listen.
Right there, there we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Rainer, there we go, yeah, there you go. A group without having relationship with my father, that was tough.
And through that, I saw it.
I found out I had a massive dick.
This guy looks like a porn star, by the way.
He does, and it showed the very beginning of him just kind of looking off. Yeah, looking for Lauren Dough in the corner. I'm looking for my savior.
Tension. And I started modeling. And I was 15 or 16 and all of a sudden I was getting
positive reinforcement from places that I normally didn't and I like the way that felt.
So I said let me combine one feeling that's really good with another feeling.
And that's really good.
And that's me rubbing myself off at night.
And then I learned that's called masturbation.
And I can make money doing it.
I don't honestly, I was like, if I am successful and any time a genre of film or theater,
I would be loved.
So I took my 50 bucks and I went to California
and I spent almost every cent I had.
And then all of a sudden,
50 bucks.
What do you do?
What?
What?
That's not what I expected to hear.
I took $50 million and I spent almost every dime
trying to make it as a porn star.
You spent $50.
What was that?
A burger at in the end?
Right.
Yeah.
Hey.
She, I don't have any money.
And I got a job at a, like a stakeout,
so like a stakeout slash bar in Los Angeles.
So it also happened to be a dick show.
And they had Kionte Classic.
That Kionte Classic.
And when they asked for the old 69er,
you know, that 69 ounce piece of meat.
They asked for the old 69er.
I found out quickly,
it wasn't meat that they were looking for.
Not that kind of meat.
Yeah, not that kind of meat.
After working in the restaurant for a few months,
I met a girl who was sitting at a table
and they were all dressed very provocatively.
They said, you should do movies.
I was like, oh yeah, actually, I am trying to be an actor.
No one ever said that out in California.
Working at a bar.
No waiter or waitress has ever heard those words before he must have gone
What look? It's my day. He's got the reverse casting couch going on here
It's usually some creepy guy that's asking some young bartender. You should do movies come to my house
And I'll review a couple scripts that I haven't written yet
Come to my house and I'll review a couple scripts that I haven't written yet. Listen to that.
And I really know adult movies.
And I was like, what are you?
Are rated?
Wait, what do you mean?
Are rated movie.
I'm going to get paid to fuck you girls.
Later guys, the next one is going to the steakhouse. Thanks for the 50 bucks, I'll talk to you guys later.
You know, I gotta be real honest.
I think I've seen this guy in a porn movie.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
My dick is getting hard a little bit.
I think that's an indicator that that's not workplace harassment when you work at the
commercial break, by the way.
Don't write me, I don't want to hear about it. Chrissy has signed paperwork
Actually given Chrissy's sexual appetite. I had to sign paperwork. I'm just saying
It my my instinct reaction was like wow, you know, that's that's awesome
My instinct reaction was like, wow. You know, that's awesome.
So they gave me their information.
It was to meet with their agent.
So I met with that agent.
He's like, if you can do it,
then you'll be very successful.
If you can do it, and then you can become a preacher,
then we can make a really cool YouTube video
with some really sad music behind it
and make you look like a total stud.
You'll have a reinvention twice,
and then you're gonna run for president
and probably win.
That's true.
Yeah, praise, praise.
You'll be great.
You'll be amazing.
Let's do it, just do it.
I was like, oh, you know, if I just do one, it'll be okay.
I showed up and I was terrified and everyone's like don't worry about it. Just take this pill
You'll be able to perform you'll be able to do it
And I did boy did I boy did I I
Said you just taking one or how many you take it?
If I was in those porn movies didn't have to shoot my cock up because I don't think I'd be able to get it up with a cameraman and all that stuff, fluffer
and all that shit.
It'd be so weird.
Yeah.
I mean, honestly, I don't watch a lot of porn movies
and I think I've said this on the show before
because I think it ruins your idea of,
I'm just not all that interested in porn movies.
Pictures are more of my thing, right?
Sexy images are more of my thing
and I maybe it's just like the time that I grew up.
We didn't have access to like actual action.
You had to look at it.
So maybe my sexual preferences are tailored or are, I don't know, there a reflection of
how I grew up and what I kind of materials that I had access to, mainly the Sears catalog.
So I, you know, but if you put me in a room.
And then suddenly you said for those old, you know, but if you put me in a room, I'm gonna say that he said for those old, you know,
the magazines.
Oh yeah.
And what happened to FHM and Victoria's Secret catalogs
and the good old Playboy where they showed you just enough
to get you there, but.
Born hub.
Yeah.
Now, Born hub, yeah.
Here, pro laps fisting, you know,
squirter all over the, it's like the craziest stuff.
Amster goes down on squirter.
Yeah, there's anything in everything.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm gonna keep my kids away from that as long as possible.
Matthias is now four.
He'll probably be fine porn when he's six.
Yes.
And that changed the rest of my life.
I mean, it's long liver, Twitter, like,
even if somebody's on Twitter, you can just find
porn.
Oh, yeah.
Well, Twitter's gonna head that way anyway.
It's just gonna be a porn, porn, pretty soon.
This music is way over dramatic for the story that he's telling.
It's not, it's stories not that dramatic.
At least it did a little boom to a boom.
I didn't have a relationship with my father.
Yeah, join half of the world who didn't have a relationship with their father.
Yeah, number one, number two, you came to Los Angeles with fifty fifty dollars join
90% of the people working in Los Angeles right now and number three
You got asked to do porn movies with sexy hot girls
Fucking hot girls for a living
All I remembered about it was nothing that what I did just the environment around me.
I didn't have a conversation with the girl.
I didn't know her name.
We never even made eye contact.
I felt like I don't want those guys to talk.
No, fuck no.
It's a job.
You know, I understand.
I don't care how hard you try.
I'm sure that there is a part of you that has to, I don't care how hard you try. I'm sure that there is a part of you that has,
I don't care how into it you are.
There's a part of you that has to disassociate
a little bit from those scenes
because it's take after take,
you have to ram jack for hours,
you know, the different angles.
It's like a real movie.
Only you actually are inside of somebody.
That's kind of hard.
Yeah.
I felt the camera guy directing me to do stuff while I was doing that.
It just didn't feel real. It didn't feel like it truly happened.
And then some of my friends saw it. I was embarrassed even though they were like,
you know, dude, that's so cool. And then I thought, you know, if these people can see it,
probably my friends saw it. Well, I mean, you know, if these people can see it, probably my friends saw it.
Well, I mean, did you tell,
were you the one who showed them?
How did your friends find your porn video
and see a porn video?
Exactly.
I have a feeling that somebody told them,
somebody with a cat out of the bag.
He's telling this story like this now
because of course he's a preacher
and he has to make it sound like he was dragged into this right but and
Listen, I'm not downplaying the guy's experience. Whatever experience was is what it was. I'm just from an outside observer
It feels just a little disingenuous this day. Well, then my friends found it. How did they find it?
Because you posted it all over your Twitter probably look at what I'm doing fucking hot girls
Because I was 18 months and I know what that'm doing, fucking hot girls. Family's gonna suck.
Cause I was 18 months and I know what that's like, okay?
And then,
I was thinking about embarrassing my mom.
It was tough.
Should have thought about that before.
Yeah, when you're like,
you just thought about that after it came out.
Yeah, they offered you as a job.
They started giving you medication to help with your boners
The lights were on the cameras were on did you not think at that moment like hey mom yeah
Hey mom remember how you wanted me to be a doctor. I'm a pussy doctor now
Even that I justified I've already did one so
What's the difference if I do another one and then all of a sudden, you know, I've already did one, so what's the difference if I do another one?
And then all of a sudden, you know, I've done a few.
And all of a sudden, I'm the most prolific porn star that I've ever lived.
I'm opinion avian.
Oh, yeah.
I think he did, by the way, I think he did.
Of course he did.
I think that does protest a little too much.
Yeah.
You know, three or four thousand dollars and less than a month.
And then all of a sudden I was doing
20 a month and
Our family did find out
Yeah, of course they did
Of course they did because you're posted it on your Twitter sending it to your friends I mean obviously you've got a ton of money and you're making all of these yeah and your friends know
Yeah, it's gonna get back to your parents and your boner never goes down not even a thing's getting dinner and you're making all of these. Yeah, and your friends know it's gonna get back to your parents.
And your boner never goes down, not even a thing's getting dinner
because you're all pumped up full of dick drugs.
Hey, John, I don't want to be rude.
And I know it's been a long time since we talked about your penis.
But as your mother, I have to ask, why are you so hard all the time?
It's my job, mom.
I pound pussy for 11.
And I still didn't stop.
I became this person I didn't even know.
And the more I was willing to care less about myself,
the more I was willing to do.
And next thing I knew I'd done a thousand movies.
I'm crying my-
Jesus Christ!
Listen, the slippery slope.
It's a slippery slope
and I have no idea what the porn industry is like.
So I'm not here to tell anybody
what the porn industry is like
and I know that there must be sleazy shitty fucking
fucked up things that happen in that business,
but it's 2023.
So I'm imagining you were doing these in 2015
and even back then porn stars are perfectly acceptable
human beings.
It's not like, yeah, it's not like you went and murdered people
and then you were embarrassed about it.
You had sex on camera.
You chose to do that.
Exactly.
A thousand times.
No, like own it.
Yeah, own it.
I was a porn star.
I won a war.
Yeah, now I got old.
My dick doesn't work the same.
Right.
So I'm gonna get a preacher.
I had to figure out how to cover that $40,000 a month
I was working and I figured what better scam than preacher.
I'll sleep.
Pay for housing.
Pay for housing.
I mean, food, bread, wine.
Yeah, bread, wine, pussy.
It's all there for you.
Just ask, just ask your prosperity preachers.
Yeah, just ask Carl or anybody else
who has been caught up in some sex scandal
and it seems like they all have.
Shower, I couldn't get clean enough
because I couldn't wash off the hurt.
Oh my God, this is so fucking traumatic.
He's been a shower.
Water's running down his face.
What do you know what I'm imagining?
Is that he's part of one of those newfangled Christian churches
where they have the band and the coffee shop
and a roller coaster outside, you know, the whole nine yards
to attract people to come and spend a lot of time there
and spend a lot of money.
And this is probably playing on the,
this is probably a movie,
may or a short, Vignette,
made for the big screen at the church.
We're right.
Yeah, it's his confession.
Yes.
Yes, explain himself.
Ha ha.
I sound.
Yeah.
I stand.
So, rather than tell you, I really enjoyed it.
It was a great time in my life, and now I need a new job.
I'm going to make a movie where they film me in the shower.
All that embarrassment over being naked on camera. So now I'm going to be naked in front of this camera, and I'm going to make a movie where they fill me in the shower. All that embarrassment over being naked on camera. So now I'm going to be naked in front of
this camera and I'm going to play it for the church. He's in the shower. What
kind of fucking movie is this? And I truly believed at that point that I didn't
matter and that that went on for, you know, well over five years. And I was going to the positive check.
And the teller looked at me and said,
Josh, was there anything else I can do for you?
And I said, yeah, give me a blumpkin.
I said my dick's still hard from the photo.
From the last shoot I did five years ago.
Could you just get me off one time?
I was depositing a check and the teller looks at me.
So first time I heard my-
I was the first time I hear her his name?
Yes.
Wait, I'm replaying.
When the casting people call and say, hey, is this Josh?
Yeah.
Josh, you're a wall. I think it's what she said.
But, you know, for dramatic effect,
he's saying, it's the first time I heard my name in five years.
And the Tyler looked at me and said,
Josh, was there anything else I can do for you?
That was the first time I heard my name in a long time.
And I just lost it.
And then when I looked at my home,
I looked myself in the mirror and I was like,
what have I done?
I changed my name to Josh.
It's always been Joshua. what have I done? I changed my name to Josh. It's always been Joshua.
What have I done?
What have I done with my life?
I haven't been home in two Christmas's.
I wasn't taking care of my mom.
I wasn't taking care of my brother.
So I called the director and told him that we're never coming back.
He's like, cool.
Call the next god list
What was your name again?
Joshua
Joshua
Well, I don't know any Joshua, but we do have a Josh that works here Josh. Is that you?
Who is this?
my name
Josh
Josh
Okay, dude, you're being weird and I don't care if you show up because I'll just take
your place.
Yeah, got another guy waiting.
Yeah, got another guy waiting.
I can get my own dick hard.
Don't worry about it.
You're cool.
So that's what I did.
Ran.
I ran for my life.
I moved to North Carolina.
I ran.
I ran all the way to North Carolina like for his gun.
I run so far away. Hey.
And I run.
I run so far away.
I can't get away.
I'm not doing no more for movies.
Every night, I'd have dreams of the things I did.
So even though I wasn't doing it,
the good psychiatrist was the help with that.
Yeah, go to the therapist for that.
Yeah, you don't need this old confessional video.
If they did my confessional video,
it'd be like three times as long and way more dramatic.
Yeah, just tucked away, was dealt with.
The last thing I wanted to do was face what I did,
and I'd ruin my relationship with my family.
My mom, anytime I reached out to her,
she's like, I love you no matter what.
I heard so bad.
Then sound like I was ruined then.
Yeah.
No, it's not ruined.
Every time I read touchmob, she said,
I'd love you no matter what.
Yeah, but I think, I mean, I don't wanna,
I don't wanna claim to know what's in this guy's head
or even what the purpose of the video is,
but because I don't fuck it now. I don't fucking know, I don't care.
I really don't.
But this just sounds like you had a job
that other people were embarrassed,
and other people felt judged you for,
and then you walked into the most judgmental place
on earth, which is church,
and then they were like, wait, you were a fucking porn star,
and he's got to find a way to make it sound like it
was so miserable.
And now that I found Jesus Christ our Savior, our Lord,
now everything's better.
And the truth is, I think he's just pining
for the camera like he used to.
I heard it, say no matter what.
Cause I knew I embarrassed you.
And then I met someone else.
When I met Hope, I was like, even though she likes me,
like she doesn't know what I'm talking.
I was like, yes, now we can finally
start doing some of those streaming channels
I've been looking to make money on.
You know the kind where you just pop a chatterbait
where you pop on and they're live, fucking each other?
There's no way that she could accept me for who I am.
She asked me if I believe in God.
And I said yes.
And after she asked me, I felt like I had to tell her something.
I did point out every trip, you know, over five years.
As she looked me in the face and said,
that's not who you were.
God's forgave you for that.
Why can't I?
I was like, wow.
That's what's been Christian.
That's what's been Christian.
Yeah, she had a big smile and she said,
that's not who you are.
And don't tell my parents.
Yeah.
Next, when is your day?
Yeah, now, let's put some of that experience to good
use take this pill how some of that so not not long after that together we went
to hope and when I want you met her name was Hope. And then you went to the Hope Church? Huh.
Hope, we were sitting there and Mike's talking straight to me.
And he's like, no matter how bright we are,
it's never too late.
And I believe that my whole life changed.
Here I am, so undeserving that he stood down,
he picked me up and he brushed me off, and I was gleaned.
It was like it was never happening in his eyes.
Okay, let me point this out, because I just really
drives me crazy about religion.
That he in some way was a broken, empty, undeserving man
because of choices that he made as an adult to make money and provide for himself
and follow, you know, somewhat of his dream.
Maybe it wasn't a perfect dream,
but hey, listen, you got it, you got it, use it.
It why should someone feel undeserving
because in the eyes of someone else,
that's not good enough.
That's not the right thing to do.
That we shouldn't be doing this.
Not illegal, he didn't hurt anybody.
He's just going around having sex with people
on camera for money.
Is it everybody's choice?
No, do you want your son or daughter
to end up being a porn star?
I don't know, maybe some people do,
maybe some people don't.
According to the search history on PornHub,
a lot of people do want their daughters to do porn.
But especially their step daughters.
But I think the problem with this type of mentality
is that we put people down for what we perceive they should do.
But the truth is, this dude isn't broken.
He was young, he was dumb, he was full of calm, and he decided to get paid for it.
And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that.
You're not broken around deserving, bro.
And you don't need church to tell you that you're anything better than you already know that you are which is a perfectly
healthy happy worthwhile human being strapping man strapping on young man
you're perfectly happy strapping on young man
looking crazy getting all excited
just find a way to get over to that Hope Church.
Her and Jeff are gonna have a four-some with Hope, Hope, and Johnny Begood or whatever his
name is.
Oh my god.
Why?
Each of their own and if it made him feel better about himself, okay?
Listen, if church makes you feel better about yourself, great.
I'd say go for it.
What an amazing turnaround for that young man.
I don't think he should be embarrassed about his past.
I think he should be embracing and saying, hey, it was bad in my life.
Yeah, like my kids are going to ask me about the commercial break.
Yes.
We're going to have to.
I'm going to be a preacher one day too with a sad video.
They told me I was going to make money.
Someone told me I was gonna make money. Someone told me I was gonna be a millionaire.
So I made a series of increasingly bad decisions.
Over five years.
And when I was finally broke and left with nothing, I decided to...I met Hope.
Not the actual person, I mean Hope. You know, Hope.
The most expensive thing in the strip club
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All right, Chrissy, as you can hear by my voice,
I think that's all we can do for today.
I think so, Ryan.
So I love you.
I love you.
Best of you.
Best of you.
Best of you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I always say,
we do say, and we must say.
Good bye.
Good bye. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a seaI'm a seaI'm a sea